The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am having a real hard time right now in my life. Gosh doesn't it seem like that all the time for me? It does.
I'm getting panic attacks because I'm taking a real hard math class at a community college and I need to pass it to be able to transfer to a university. PLEASE HELP me. I have found a tutor but I can only use him for preparation for exams since I can't afford to hire him on a weekly basis to help me out with homework.
I know it may not seem like a big deal for some of you but please, please pray for me that I make the right decisions for the test.
I have survived being homeless, an abusive relationship with an alcoholic, and living with my sickness. I have been diagnosed with depression/anxiety/bipolar. Please help me. I feel so alone right now. I also feel worst because even the students that eventually get it, I don't. It doesn't bother me that I may always be the last one to get it but I don't even get it. I have gone to tutoring at the school and I end up feeling more frustrated because I can't seem to get ahead.
I know some of this is also because of my negativity towards this class. I pray to God to correct this way of thinking. I try to replace it with positive thoughts instead but I always drag myself back to the negative thinking. God help me.
Thank you for listening/reading. Keep me in your prayers. God knows I need them.
When I read your post I could just hear all the pressure you are putting on yourself. I have in the past put lots of demands on myself and still can today if I am not careful.
In al anon they say first things first.
I have studied alot and understand the pressure that it puts on you and the pressure of needing to do well to get on and improve my life. However I have also learnt from experience that I need to be o.k in myself (Maslows needs) to take in new information.
something I am having to learn jhow to do is take care of me. Al anon plays a big part in this for me are you attedning meetings??
Meditation and relaxation a good diet exercise. Studying is hard I needed to take extra special care of myself. Today I want peace and happiness although I do want to achieve and be successful my peacr of mind is immportant. Do you have a relationship with a higher power pray for guidance.
Hope you can take care of you nothing is worth loosing you over
try taking a deep breath.....you say you have bi polar and im guessing one of the symptoms of this is looking on the negative side really quickly and looking on the negatives and not the positives...there are positives in this situation but because of your illness you cant see them. for a start- this test is nowhere near as life or death situation as you think it is. tests can be taken again- and again and again. i know about homelessness etc...but things take time..... if they take longer than you think- it isnt the end of the world as we know it.
and dont frget- things happen for a reason- some things are meant to be so have some faith in God- that He knows where you should be- He works in mysterious ways.
write some positives down about your life and situation and put them onto a list...because its important you dont forget about these completely...yu need to train your brain to remember these - so have them there to set your mind on the right track- so you wont fall down that black hole
i very much hope you are getting some therapy as the bi polar is too much for you to cope with- without proper support
I've been thinking about my first response to your post and have been second guessing myself. I hope I didn't alarm you by suggesting you "might" have a learning disability, which I prefer to phrase it as a "learning difference." After all, we are all unique individuals. We don't all learn in the same manner.
I understand your anxiety. I've worked with students who have mental blocks as well as learning differences.
I certainly encourage you to reach out to those at your college who can either help you or direct you to getting some help. Whatever the cause of your current test anxiety, you can find ways to work around it. It usually takes guidance and learning techniques that work for you.
You believe in prayer. I do too. How about asking your HP to direct you to someone whom you can talk this over with? You seem to be suffering alone; there is no need to. There is a solution for you.
You're in my prayers. Gail
-- Edited by GailMichelle on Saturday 8th of October 2011 10:55:06 AM
__________________
You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
Thanks to all who responded to my plea for your help.
It's a good feeling knowing people out there are understanding about my sickness/mental health issues.
I will also send prayers to all of you so that God may bless you, guide you in the areas of your life that you may need His guidance.
I have also thought that maybe I also have a learning disability. When I was younger in my 20's school was a lot easier for me. I'm 37 so I'm wondering if maybe all the stress/depression I've been through up to this point has set up some mental blocks in my head.
I've always been in survival mode and now that things are much more stable for me financially, my home, and my mental health that I now want a break from everything. But life does go on and I need to prepare myself for the real world when I go back to work.
Going to school is one of the best things I have for myself. I also broke off the relationship with the alcoholic. I stayed with him because I thought I could change him and I was sooooo lonely. I ended up paying a huge price for it but I'm sooooo grateful that I got the strength and insight to pull myself out of it and be alone. Being grateful is one of the things that has helped to remind me of how much better my life is so I agree with you all that posted to be grateful for what you have.
So for those of you that are in a bad relationship with an alcoholic if after some serious thinking you realize that the only way to save yourself is to break off the relationship by all means Get Out!!! It will take several months to adjust yourself in the new situation but w/Al Anon and God, you will come out of it.
