Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Pushka · Pushka

Mark and Jerry both got me thinking about some things over the past 24 hours. I'm so grateful to you both. I will be reading about resentment contemplating about what has me stuck in the tar pit of the past. I gotta say I"m soooo angry right now and I feel so resentful with good reason the ironic thi...

never going back · never going back

Very, very anxious today. I can't get the knots out of my stomach. I'm trying to stay busy cleaning, doing yoga, walking outside, but that queasy feeling remains. My AH had a very successful (I thought) year and a half in AA, then quit going for a year and a half ( a time in which he relapsed 5 times), and has...

jazzcat · jazzcat

It was my A's birthday at midnight. We both play music, and had a show together. I was dreading it all day. He got just as drunk as Id imagined. But I kept laughing and enjoying myself. Serenity. His choices, his addiction, his life. Other musicians in town and his friends came out. Everyone was buying...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I have been doing just that for about two months... I feel when the Tiger sleeps is when the monkeys prance.... you know? If I stop worrying will it happen? Then I think. STOP!! I know I have to be in today. I know I have to focus on me. I get caught up sometimes worrying, thinking, pondering... tomorrow. on...

KeepingFaith · KeepingFaith

Im learning so much in coming here and f2f meetings, my sponsor, my counselor, & a couple close friends that have lived through their journey of loving an A. I recently set boundaries with my Abf. And in part of it was ending the relationship until he enters recovery. Nothing changes if nothing c...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Searching for a good nights' sleep still. Got some new meds. Hope they work--actually a different version of the same I am taking now. I am doing much better--I finally talked to my dad Thursday. He is doing the best to be expected I guess. He wants me to come down & spend a week or almost a month w/ him....

nyc018 · nyc018

I'm going through a bad day dealing with anger and resentment at my AH, along with anger at myself for not being strong enough. I'm separated from AH, but we're still close in that he spends a large part of the weekend with me and our son. He's been sober since September after getting out of rehab. This f...

Pushka · Pushka

My AH and I spent the day together and had a nice time for the most part. I'm a little irritated at the moment (better for me to put it down here than to act out how I want too .. LOL) being woken up at the crack of dawn. He spent the evening in the ER .. THAT didn't make me happy as he could have gone to a dang dr ins...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and I haven't felt self hatred and disgust since I don't know when. My VA/AA counselor told me years ago that when my time was all done that if I found that I had progressed 1/4" (a quarter inch) in recovery then I should be satisfied and my self righteous self said...uh uh Bill, I'll be miles away fr...

kris10 · kris10

How do I get rid of all this hate and resentment????? Every single night lately I can't sleep because I have all these thoughts in my mind of all the things that are bothering me and all the reasons why I resent my Abf... I find myself laying in bed next to him, discusted to even look at him.. I love him but I s...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I knew it then and I know it now. It was a combo of hating myself and being afraid to be alone. For me, I would rather be with someone I couldn't stand at that point than to be alone. When alone, I had to think about myself. I had to really ponder my situation and where my life did not go as planned. I had to f...

RLC · RLC

Today is Veterans Day. A day for us to thank all of the Veterans who gave of service and many who paid the ultimate price giving their life for their country and our freedom. My late brother was one of them. He was a Marine, once a Marine always a Marine. The few the proud the Marines. His motto: Semper Fi...

Lilbearz · Lilbearz

I just found this message board, I have read posts that I can completely relate too, I just haven't taken that step and gone to a Family Group meeting. I have been married 15 years with two wonderful sons, and have been living with alcoholism for over 11 years of it, and I find myself at a cross road. Can I...

amills4294 · amills4294

I know this is a tough topic with ACoA's (for those newbies - Adult Children of Acoholics - I grew up with an alcoholic parent). As most of you know I've been struggling with my marriage. I've been separated for over a year and we are in a "trial" back together. My spouse has no problems telli...

Pushka · Pushka

I was raised on Apple products, so I don't know about other areas to look online. I'm sure there are .. lol .. I haven't at this point looked. If you have a computer you don't have to have an iPod. The podcasts are downloadable straight to the computer through an iTunes account. It's all free, there is...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I never understood that there truly is no joy without sorrow until now. I am reading the prophet and it is as if kahlil gibran watched the past six months of my life unfold and then wrote the chapter on sorrow and joy and the chapter on marriage for that matter. Its comforting to know that obviously I am n...

scholarlydragon · scholarlydragon

Problems with my AM continue almost unabated. She is living in an assited living facility, as she is essentially disabled (with a heart condition and pacemaker) and thus on restriced income. She has made friends with another resident there that she initially was trying to avoid (or so she claimed)...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I have recognized that I have to change me. The anger that I was so often feeling is less and less. I'm more able to let go. The whiskey bottle that was sitting behind the end table next to the couch, was just that, I had no reaction to it. Last night I arrived home and my husband was working on dinner, it was fa...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Since I started going to Al-anon face to face meetings almost a year ago, I have experienced the death of a few relationships. I have outgrown some of these and some people didn't want to deal with my self righteousness, I had early in my program (I wanted to force feed Al-anon to everyone dear to me). It i...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I know that some of us feel trapped by our situation especially if the primary provider is the A in our lives. I have been thinking that I need to prepare for the future and maybe think about a career path. I have a 4 year degree and was a stock broker working in institutional investing for a few years befo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

OK so I overreacted to the family thing I was going through--maybe they just didn't want to upset me & set off my darn disease! I have talked to them via FACEBOOK through pictures. Some of them were really old 1990, & they loved them! It was so cool to bond w/ them w/ the pictures. They couldn't rem...

jazzcat · jazzcat

I've been going to Al-Anon for several weeks now. He has relapsed, and has pushed me out of his life for the most part. I now understand what I can and can't change, but I seem to still have doubts that it is his disease that pushes me away. But I've done and said so many things that were wrong or hurtful in the...

KimK · KimK

Hi everyone. I am new here. Having a very stressful day. My husband of 10 years is an alcoholic. We have had some bad times throughout the years, but this, by far, has been the worst yet. Most of the Summer was good. He really didn't drink much....We got along well. About 3 weeks ago, he stayed out mo...

afares · afares

Three years ago, our whole world came apart. I ended up in the hospital sufferring from a major depression that stemmed from me trying to cover up the mess my husband and my life had become. I started to work on myself and my husband went in and out of sobriety for a while. Thankfully he has been sober for 18...

rrib · rrib

Deblyn's post a few days ago Well do you love them????? reminded me that I do much better when I remember to be grateful for what I have. And of something I'd read, an excerpt from the book Awakening In Time by Jacquelyn Small. Kat and I liked is so much, we included it at our wedding. Not that we remember to...

Whitehydrangia · Whitehydrangia

I feel kind of lonely today and am pondering about my life; who I have become, my codependency issues, what my feelings are, and where I want my life to go. I have a BSN in Nursing and have worked at a hospital for 18 years. Shortly after I started working, I met my A and little by little, my life turned into...

TeachMe · TeachMe

I am brand new to this, but have been reading posts since 4am. All of the posts have given me strength, thank you everyone! My AH left 3 days ago. I told him to go after weeks of him threatening to leave. He is on medication for depression which can not be combined with alcohol. Problem is he told his ther...

floweroflife · floweroflife

I am married to an active alcoholic, and right now - I'm really angry about it. There aren't any meetings in my area tonight that I can attend, so in the interest of full disclosure - I found this site and am just here to vent. I'm new to Al-Anon and haven't been to many meetings, so in addition to venting I'l...

Jozie · Jozie

I would Have to say without the Love & Support that I have thru Al-Anon/ACOA I truly wouldn't have a Clue were My Life may have Lead these Last 3 years... Its Almost Scary to think when I Look back at Where I Began when this Newest Journey took roots... Currently My knowledge and know how on the "L...

noelle2 · noelle2

So today is a hard day, I'm feeling resentful for having to take over the money and put it in his account bit by bit as he needs things like gas. I took the cards in anger last week when he "slipped " and went to the liquor store again the third weekend in a row. He has since asked me to keep all the mo...

kitty · kitty

I cant get into the chat room today, is anyone else having issues with entry or is it bc i dont know how to use this new pc? ugh, help

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I had an HP moment: one of those times when I really look at myself in the mirror and see what lies deep beneath my heart. I have had a few posts lately about setting my "no driving the kids" boundary with my AH. I thought I was doing it to protect the kids. And I am. But, there is something deeper....

liljeannie · liljeannie

I need some guidance here.... I have been trying for so long and so hard to move forward and away from my past experiences and the more I try, the worse I feel. I have no real closure as I am still awaiting my day in court for the assault. I was denied AGAIN by SS for disability even though I am in no way physic...

sirchef · sirchef

As is usual for me I have trouble with so many slogans and sayings. This one is one that has given me some real pause for thought. Do we really recover from the hurts and betrayals we recieve at the hands of those we love? I listen and listen to so many including myself talk about wounds that never heal. So it...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI I have heard this term a few times on this board... the committee in my head. Can I please have a full explanation of what you guys mean? I am thinking it means when we argue with ourselves. thanks

kris10 · kris10

Trying soo hard to sleep but the fact that my Abf is nodding out next to me high on heroin wont get out of my head... As he noddes out next to me in bed with a lit cigarette in his hand falling on top of him i cant help but want to smack him in the back of the head and tell him " wake up dumb@$$ you are burning you...

Pushka · Pushka

Ohhh boy ... the next 2 weeks are going to be interesting. I'm in the process of working with my mom on airline tickets to go out there. I've left it up to her as she's graciously paying for the tickets. My personality is more towards just tell me where to be and what time and I'll work it out on my end. Esp...

kris10 · kris10

So I have been wanting to get a membership at the YMCA but I've been avoiding it because I know that my As drug dealer goes there.... THIS PERSON I CAN'T STAND WITH A PASSION.... He is by far the snakiest person I've ever met. This is my As "best friend" for years EXCEPT for when he was sober or in t...

jazzcat · jazzcat

All of my posts are saying they have been flagged as spam, and must be cleared by an administrator. They haven't appeared on the message board. Any ideas?

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I realized a few weeks ago that I sometimes make excuses for not getting to a F2F meeting. If my AH is out of town or sick or whatever, I use that as an excuse not to go to my home meeting. If AH isn't home or available, I don't have anyone to drive the kids to their evening activities. I finally admitted this ex...

danni · danni

so, my first time on a message board, but i have two small children and am up too early to make an outreach call. my husband is not sober but is functioning. his drinking is getting worse and is back to about every other day.so i am dealing with a hangover every other morning as well. thankful his drinki...

Golightly24 · Golightly24

Last night, my AB came to the Halloween party my friend and I threw. He is 3 months out of rehab. Usually I have the party at my house but didn't want to put him in that situation and decided to have it elsewhere. I don't drink or do drugs (just don't like it). My friends aren't big drinkers either. My AB came a...

KLotus · KLotus

I went to a meeting yesterday :) It was my homegroup meeting, which I haven't been to in ages. I flexed my time at work, skipping out a bit, and met with my sponsor beforehand. I was feeling like "Ok! You win (God)! Tell me what to do (Sponsor)." I cannot control my recovering alcoholic h...

HoofnIt · HoofnIt

I have really had enough of my BF coming home drunk after saying "don't worry I'll be sober" or lying to me before i even ask. Last night the very 1st thing he said to me was "don't worry, I'm good" which was suppose to mean he wasn't drinking. With in 5 minutes of looking at him i could...

KimK · KimK

I was reading through one of the posts here tonight,, and read a line posted by rehprof....Stay out of crazy town....It struck me as funny and kept running through my head....Makes perfect sense.... I've been to crazy town more times than I care to remember, and I wish I could have back all the tears an...

amills4294 · amills4294

I thought I would share - this was very powerful for me and my HP put this in front of me today when I most needed it. True to Ourselves: November 8 This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. William Shakespeare To thine own self b...

Grace7 · Grace7

My Ex-"A" is the source of my frustration, but more than that, the lack of resources to protect the community at large from him and including my grandchildren from being in his prescence when he owns a firearm with ammo and gets it out to shoot immaginary predators due to his dillusions etc....

SCARLETT · SCARLETT

I'm new to this forum. Not new to 12 step programs. I currently am practicing duel enrollment :). I'm married to a recovering heroin addict. He has been in a program for 9 months and has another 2 months to graduate the program. We visit regularly and communicate well. Or so I thought. Recently he has bee...

rehprof · rehprof

First court date today to divorce my AH. He will only go for half my retirement, he says, and he will not ask me for alimony as long as I don't ask him for any child support. Wow. He hasn't worked in well over a year because of drinking and pain pills...I'm struggling to keep oil in the tank and food on the tabl...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey all, Sorry to vent again, but then again this info might be useful to anyone who will go through the restraining order process. fyi any of you who do, I recommend a lawyer, advocate, etc...basically as many people as you can to help navigate the paperwork. It is highly time consuming and aggravati...

afares · afares

Over the past week since my husband has started to act a little different I have hit rock bottom within myself. He has become distant and it has thrown me way out of control. I never realized how much dealing with a sober alcoholic father and an alcholic husband have done to me over the years. I have put u...

amills4294 · amills4294

I read alot of these posts - I attend face to face alanon meetings and I am starting to work he steps. What I have the most issue with is not feeling bad or guilty for not meeting the wants/desires of others. I know that a decsion that I need to make is looming and I've known for a long time the direction that...

HisWife24 · HisWife24

I have recently just been introduced to this website. It has been very helpful in the last couple of days as my AH and I are now at a point where we can, again, approach his drinking for what it really is with the help of family and AA. This time around my AH sees his drinking as a problem and something he needs...

danni · danni

Last night, after a few days of my husband's anger escalating and lashing out at me and the kids, he apologized and asked what I was feeling. His drinking has escalated this week along with his anger level. I said I noticed he was drinking more (this is the first I had mentioned it) and that when he drink...

Beckatitis · Beckatitis

Lately I feel as if I am being sucked into a hole, which will swallow me whole and never let me out. Alcoholism has played a major role in a majority of lives, within my immediate family. Both of my parents, who have never really been together, have overcome their addictions and no longer drink. My mom doe...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just found out that my father has stage 4 cancer. No one even told me that I can remember. I knew he had cancer but no one informed me about it. I am getting very tired of feeling left out of everything. It makes me feel like I am on an island, drifting away! Last night I finally talked to my older sister. She s...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm headed out of town in a couple of weeks this is a big deal as it's the first time I will be childless AND without a spouse in over 13 years. That is a big milestone. Asked me 5 years ago if I would leave the kids with my AH and the answer would have been a resounding NO WAY!! I figure 7 days of no baths for the y...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I was able to get away for the weekend to visit a friend of mine. I enjoyed the stunning drive through the VA mountains. Was able to enjoy the time spent with my friend. Her daughter turned 8 and she has 2 babies under 2 plus a little boy so I went up to offer an extra set of hands for the weekend. Before I left I g...

Debilyn · Debilyn

http://vimeo.com/31158841 I hope you can see this. I am in complete awe. love.....

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Well.. not sure if I said much about this on this board, but I have been to a psychologist today. I have tried a few counsellors and such, but none seem to really 'get' what it is about me that I want to work on. Today, I spoke about BPD traits and how I feel fit most of them when we look back over the history of m...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	An opportunity to heal (Preview) Mark and Jerry both got me thinking about some things over the past 24 hours. I'm so grateful to you both. I will be reading about resentment contemplating about what has me stuck in the tar pit of the past. I gotta say I"m soooo angry right now and I feel so resentful with good reason the ironic thi...	Pushka	5	597	Nov 13, 2011 by Pushka
	Needing ESH today more than ever (Preview) Very, very anxious today. I can't get the knots out of my stomach. I'm trying to stay busy cleaning, doing yoga, walking outside, but that queasy feeling remains. My AH had a very successful (I thought) year and a half in AA, then quit going for a year and a half ( a time in which he relapsed 5 times), and has...	never going back	8	484	Nov 13, 2011 by patsquest
	The Dreaded Birthday Party (Preview) It was my A's birthday at midnight. We both play music, and had a show together. I was dreading it all day. He got just as drunk as Id imagined. But I kept laughing and enjoying myself. Serenity. His choices, his addiction, his life. Other musicians in town and his friends came out. Everyone was buying...	jazzcat	5	425	Nov 13, 2011 by tommyecat
	Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop???? live in today one day at a time (Preview) I have been doing just that for about two months... I feel when the Tiger sleeps is when the monkeys prance.... you know? If I stop worrying will it happen? Then I think. STOP!! I know I have to be in today. I know I have to focus on me. I get caught up sometimes worrying, thinking, pondering... tomorrow. on...	Michelle814	8	4577	Nov 13, 2011 by tommyecat
	Trying to not be afraid (Preview) Im learning so much in coming here and f2f meetings, my sponsor, my counselor, & a couple close friends that have lived through their journey of loving an A. I recently set boundaries with my Abf. And in part of it was ending the relationship until he enters recovery. Nothing changes if nothing c...	KeepingFaith	6	489	Nov 13, 2011 by tommyecat
	oh sleep, gentle sleep! (Preview) Searching for a good nights' sleep still. Got some new meds. Hope they work--actually a different version of the same I am taking now. I am doing much better--I finally talked to my dad Thursday. He is doing the best to be expected I guess. He wants me to come down & spend a week or almost a month w/ him....	Hoot Nanny	3	542	Nov 13, 2011 by tommyecat
	I feel like I've slipped (Preview) I'm going through a bad day dealing with anger and resentment at my AH, along with anger at myself for not being strong enough. I'm separated from AH, but we're still close in that he spends a large part of the weekend with me and our son. He's been sober since September after getting out of rehab. This f...	nyc018	12	499	Nov 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Passive Agressive - vent (Preview) My AH and I spent the day together and had a nice time for the most part. I'm a little irritated at the moment (better for me to put it down here than to act out how I want too .. LOL) being woken up at the crack of dawn. He spent the evening in the ER .. THAT didn't make me happy as he could have gone to a dang dr ins...	Pushka	13	631	Nov 13, 2011 by Pushka
	Just did an inventory about Tuesday... (Preview) and I haven't felt self hatred and disgust since I don't know when. My VA/AA counselor told me years ago that when my time was all done that if I found that I had progressed 1/4" (a quarter inch) in recovery then I should be satisfied and my self righteous self said...uh uh Bill, I'll be miles away fr...	Jerry F	15	821	Nov 12, 2011 by hiflying1
	Resentment... (Preview) How do I get rid of all this hate and resentment????? Every single night lately I can't sleep because I have all these thoughts in my mind of all the things that are bothering me and all the reasons why I resent my Abf... I find myself laying in bed next to him, discusted to even look at him.. I love him but I s...	kris10	25	928	Nov 12, 2011 by kris10
	What had me most trapped (Preview) I knew it then and I know it now. It was a combo of hating myself and being afraid to be alone. For me, I would rather be with someone I couldn't stand at that point than to be alone. When alone, I had to think about myself. I had to really ponder my situation and where my life did not go as planned. I had to f...	pinkchip	14	831	Nov 12, 2011 by orchidlover
	Thanks To All The Veterans (Preview) Today is Veterans Day. A day for us to thank all of the Veterans who gave of service and many who paid the ultimate price giving their life for their country and our freedom. My late brother was one of them. He was a Marine, once a Marine always a Marine. The few the proud the Marines. His motto: Semper Fi...	RLC	8	497	Nov 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	15 Years and counting - and at a Cross Road (Preview) I just found this message board, I have read posts that I can completely relate too, I just haven't taken that step and gone to a Family Group meeting. I have been married 15 years with two wonderful sons, and have been living with alcoholism for over 11 years of it, and I find myself at a cross road. Can I...	Lilbearz	12	586	Nov 12, 2011 by Truly Grateful
	feeling ok with me and my decisions and what's right for me (Preview) I know this is a tough topic with ACoA's (for those newbies - Adult Children of Acoholics - I grew up with an alcoholic parent). As most of you know I've been struggling with my marriage. I've been separated for over a year and we are in a "trial" back together. My spouse has no problems telli...	amills4294	13	597	Nov 12, 2011 by amills4294
	Pod Casts on iTunes search alanon (or AA speakers) (Preview) I was raised on Apple products, so I don't know about other areas to look online. I'm sure there are .. lol .. I haven't at this point looked. If you have a computer you don't have to have an iPod. The podcasts are downloadable straight to the computer through an iTunes account. It's all free, there is...	Pushka	8	1312	Nov 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. sorrow joy pain growth strength (Preview) I never understood that there truly is no joy without sorrow until now. I am reading the prophet and it is as if kahlil gibran watched the past six months of my life unfold and then wrote the chapter on sorrow and joy and the chapter on marriage for that matter. Its comforting to know that obviously I am n...	Michelle814	13	812	Nov 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Think I may have hit the point of no-return (Preview) Problems with my AM continue almost unabated. She is living in an assited living facility, as she is essentially disabled (with a heart condition and pacemaker) and thus on restriced income. She has made friends with another resident there that she initially was trying to avoid (or so she claimed)...	scholarlydragon	5	547	Nov 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	50/50 (Preview) I have recognized that I have to change me. The anger that I was so often feeling is less and less. I'm more able to let go. The whiskey bottle that was sitting behind the end table next to the couch, was just that, I had no reaction to it. Last night I arrived home and my husband was working on dinner, it was fa...	Jackie11	10	674	Nov 11, 2011 by amills4294
	The death of a relationship (Preview) Since I started going to Al-anon face to face meetings almost a year ago, I have experienced the death of a few relationships. I have outgrown some of these and some people didn't want to deal with my self righteousness, I had early in my program (I wanted to force feed Al-anon to everyone dear to me). It i...	Breakingfree	9	1124	Nov 11, 2011 by orchidlover
	Off topic here, thinking about future careers (Preview) I know that some of us feel trapped by our situation especially if the primary provider is the A in our lives. I have been thinking that I need to prepare for the future and maybe think about a career path. I have a 4 year degree and was a stock broker working in institutional investing for a few years befo...	ilovedogs	6	482	Nov 11, 2011 by Breakingfree
	I have to admit is IS getting better! (Preview) OK so I overreacted to the family thing I was going through--maybe they just didn't want to upset me & set off my darn disease! I have talked to them via FACEBOOK through pictures. Some of them were really old 1990, & they loved them! It was so cool to bond w/ them w/ the pictures. They couldn't rem...	Hoot Nanny	3	346	Nov 11, 2011 by tommyecat
	Guilt About Past Mistakes (Preview) I've been going to Al-Anon for several weeks now. He has relapsed, and has pushed me out of his life for the most part. I now understand what I can and can't change, but I seem to still have doubts that it is his disease that pushes me away. But I've done and said so many things that were wrong or hurtful in the...	jazzcat	20	743	Nov 11, 2011 by KeepingFaith
	Live with a Jekyll and Hyde (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new here. Having a very stressful day. My husband of 10 years is an alcoholic. We have had some bad times throughout the years, but this, by far, has been the worst yet. Most of the Summer was good. He really didn't drink much....We got along well. About 3 weeks ago, he stayed out mo...	KimK	12	6622	Nov 10, 2011 by likemyheart
	i have found my rock bottom (Preview) Three years ago, our whole world came apart. I ended up in the hospital sufferring from a major depression that stemmed from me trying to cover up the mess my husband and my life had become. I started to work on myself and my husband went in and out of sobriety for a while. Thankfully he has been sober for 18...	afares	13	735	Nov 10, 2011 by orchidlover
	Reminded ... (Preview) Deblyn's post a few days ago Well do you love them????? reminded me that I do much better when I remember to be grateful for what I have. And of something I'd read, an excerpt from the book Awakening In Time by Jacquelyn Small. Kat and I liked is so much, we included it at our wedding. Not that we remember to...	rrib	13	679	Nov 10, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Sliding Down A Slope (Preview) I feel kind of lonely today and am pondering about my life; who I have become, my codependency issues, what my feelings are, and where I want my life to go. I have a BSN in Nursing and have worked at a hospital for 18 years. Shortly after I started working, I met my A and little by little, my life turned into...	Whitehydrangia	6	605	Nov 10, 2011 by pinkchip
	New and devastated (Preview) I am brand new to this, but have been reading posts since 4am. All of the posts have given me strength, thank you everyone! My AH left 3 days ago. I told him to go after weeks of him threatening to leave. He is on medication for depression which can not be combined with alcohol. Problem is he told his ther...	TeachMe	10	595	Nov 10, 2011 by tommyecat
	Tired of riding the roller coaster (Preview) I am married to an active alcoholic, and right now - I'm really angry about it. There aren't any meetings in my area tonight that I can attend, so in the interest of full disclosure - I found this site and am just here to vent. I'm new to Al-Anon and haven't been to many meetings, so in addition to venting I'l...	floweroflife	14	712	Nov 10, 2011 by Pushka
	Only One Moment at a Time.... (Preview) I would Have to say without the Love & Support that I have thru Al-Anon/ACOA I truly wouldn't have a Clue were My Life may have Lead these Last 3 years... Its Almost Scary to think when I Look back at Where I Began when this Newest Journey took roots... Currently My knowledge and know how on the "L...	Jozie	6	645	Nov 10, 2011 by Jozie
	ARRRGH!!! (Preview) So today is a hard day, I'm feeling resentful for having to take over the money and put it in his account bit by bit as he needs things like gas. I took the cards in anger last week when he "slipped " and went to the liquor store again the third weekend in a row. He has since asked me to keep all the mo...	noelle2	8	507	Nov 10, 2011 by rosielee
	trouble loading chat room (Preview) I cant get into the chat room today, is anyone else having issues with entry or is it bc i dont know how to use this new pc? ugh, help	kitty	10	615	Nov 10, 2011 by kitty
	Getting Honest (Preview) I had an HP moment: one of those times when I really look at myself in the mirror and see what lies deep beneath my heart. I have had a few posts lately about setting my "no driving the kids" boundary with my AH. I thought I was doing it to protect the kids. And I am. But, there is something deeper....	Very Very Tired	11	479	Nov 10, 2011 by danni
	Scared and lost....and so lonely (Preview) I need some guidance here.... I have been trying for so long and so hard to move forward and away from my past experiences and the more I try, the worse I feel. I have no real closure as I am still awaiting my day in court for the assault. I was denied AGAIN by SS for disability even though I am in no way physic...	liljeannie	9	620	Nov 10, 2011 by Pushka
	recovery (Preview) As is usual for me I have trouble with so many slogans and sayings. This one is one that has given me some real pause for thought. Do we really recover from the hurts and betrayals we recieve at the hands of those we love? I listen and listen to so many including myself talk about wounds that never heal. So it...	sirchef	8	847	Nov 10, 2011 by abbyal
	committee in my head (Preview) HI I have heard this term a few times on this board... the committee in my head. Can I please have a full explanation of what you guys mean? I am thinking it means when we argue with ourselves. thanks	Lindaoakford	11	1935	Nov 9, 2011 by hotrod
	How do i sleep.... (Preview) Trying soo hard to sleep but the fact that my Abf is nodding out next to me high on heroin wont get out of my head... As he noddes out next to me in bed with a lit cigarette in his hand falling on top of him i cant help but want to smack him in the back of the head and tell him " wake up dumb@$$ you are burning you...	kris10	13	606	Nov 9, 2011 by kris10
	Putting the program to the pavement .. lol (Preview) Ohhh boy ... the next 2 weeks are going to be interesting. I'm in the process of working with my mom on airline tickets to go out there. I've left it up to her as she's graciously paying for the tickets. My personality is more towards just tell me where to be and what time and I'll work it out on my end. Esp...	Pushka	4	445	Nov 9, 2011 by pineapple
	run in with As dealer..... (Preview) So I have been wanting to get a membership at the YMCA but I've been avoiding it because I know that my As drug dealer goes there.... THIS PERSON I CAN'T STAND WITH A PASSION.... He is by far the snakiest person I've ever met. This is my As "best friend" for years EXCEPT for when he was sober or in t...	kris10	12	522	Nov 9, 2011 by youfoundme
	Posts all say they are flagged as spam? (Preview) All of my posts are saying they have been flagged as spam, and must be cleared by an administrator. They haven't appeared on the message board. Any ideas?	jazzcat	3	355	Nov 9, 2011 by jazzcat
	Excuses (Preview) I realized a few weeks ago that I sometimes make excuses for not getting to a F2F meeting. If my AH is out of town or sick or whatever, I use that as an excuse not to go to my home meeting. If AH isn't home or available, I don't have anyone to drive the kids to their evening activities. I finally admitted this ex...	Very Very Tired	6	462	Nov 9, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Trying to detatch from my husbands hangover (Preview) so, my first time on a message board, but i have two small children and am up too early to make an outreach call. my husband is not sober but is functioning. his drinking is getting worse and is back to about every other day.so i am dealing with a hangover every other morning as well. thankful his drinki...	danni	12	897	Nov 9, 2011 by danni
	"how could you let him..." (Preview) Last night, my AB came to the Halloween party my friend and I threw. He is 3 months out of rehab. Usually I have the party at my house but didn't want to put him in that situation and decided to have it elsewhere. I don't drink or do drugs (just don't like it). My friends aren't big drinkers either. My AB came a...	Golightly24	16	1129	Nov 9, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Update (Preview) I went to a meeting yesterday :) It was my homegroup meeting, which I haven't been to in ages. I flexed my time at work, skipping out a bit, and met with my sponsor beforehand. I was feeling like "Ok! You win (God)! Tell me what to do (Sponsor)." I cannot control my recovering alcoholic h...	KLotus	7	406	Nov 9, 2011 by KLotus
	need some opinons (Preview) I have really had enough of my BF coming home drunk after saying "don't worry I'll be sober" or lying to me before i even ask. Last night the very 1st thing he said to me was "don't worry, I'm good" which was suppose to mean he wasn't drinking. With in 5 minutes of looking at him i could...	HoofnIt	11	525	Nov 9, 2011 by nyc018
	Stay out of Crazy Town (Preview) I was reading through one of the posts here tonight,, and read a line posted by rehprof....Stay out of crazy town....It struck me as funny and kept running through my head....Makes perfect sense.... I've been to crazy town more times than I care to remember, and I wish I could have back all the tears an...	KimK	4	414	Nov 9, 2011 by Pushka
	Being True to Ourselves (Preview) I thought I would share - this was very powerful for me and my HP put this in front of me today when I most needed it. True to Ourselves: November 8 This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. William Shakespeare To thine own self b...	amills4294	6	545	Nov 9, 2011 by tommyecat
	Frustrated! (Preview) My Ex-"A" is the source of my frustration, but more than that, the lack of resources to protect the community at large from him and including my grandchildren from being in his prescence when he owns a firearm with ammo and gets it out to shoot immaginary predators due to his dillusions etc....	Grace7	4	633	Nov 9, 2011 by tommyecat
	confused (Preview) I'm new to this forum. Not new to 12 step programs. I currently am practicing duel enrollment :). I'm married to a recovering heroin addict. He has been in a program for 9 months and has another 2 months to graduate the program. We visit regularly and communicate well. Or so I thought. Recently he has bee...	SCARLETT	9	471	Nov 9, 2011 by SCARLETT
	Tough day ahead (Preview) First court date today to divorce my AH. He will only go for half my retirement, he says, and he will not ask me for alimony as long as I don't ask him for any child support. Wow. He hasn't worked in well over a year because of drinking and pain pills...I'm struggling to keep oil in the tank and food on the tabl...	rehprof	8	570	Nov 8, 2011 by pinkchip
	Pushed beyond the point of sanity (Preview) Hey all, Sorry to vent again, but then again this info might be useful to anyone who will go through the restraining order process. fyi any of you who do, I recommend a lawyer, advocate, etc...basically as many people as you can to help navigate the paperwork. It is highly time consuming and aggravati...	rara avis	9	674	Nov 8, 2011 by likemyheart
	Revelations About Myself (Preview) Over the past week since my husband has started to act a little different I have hit rock bottom within myself. He has become distant and it has thrown me way out of control. I never realized how much dealing with a sober alcoholic father and an alcholic husband have done to me over the years. I have put u...	afares	4	434	Nov 8, 2011 by afares
	Working on not feeling guilt when taking care of me (Preview) I read alot of these posts - I attend face to face alanon meetings and I am starting to work he steps. What I have the most issue with is not feeling bad or guilty for not meeting the wants/desires of others. I know that a decsion that I need to make is looming and I've known for a long time the direction that...	amills4294	6	479	Nov 8, 2011 by abbyal
	Just Need Some Words of Encouragement (Preview) I have recently just been introduced to this website. It has been very helpful in the last couple of days as my AH and I are now at a point where we can, again, approach his drinking for what it really is with the help of family and AA. This time around my AH sees his drinking as a problem and something he needs...	HisWife24	15	2414	Nov 8, 2011 by pinkchip
	Not sure I should have said that (Preview) Last night, after a few days of my husband's anger escalating and lashing out at me and the kids, he apologized and asked what I was feeling. His drinking has escalated this week along with his anger level. I said I noticed he was drinking more (this is the first I had mentioned it) and that when he drink...	danni	8	584	Nov 8, 2011 by pinkchip
	I hope and pray.. (Preview) Lately I feel as if I am being sucked into a hole, which will swallow me whole and never let me out. Alcoholism has played a major role in a majority of lives, within my immediate family. Both of my parents, who have never really been together, have overcome their addictions and no longer drink. My mom doe...	Beckatitis	4	489	Nov 8, 2011 by rrib
	so tired (Preview) I just found out that my father has stage 4 cancer. No one even told me that I can remember. I knew he had cancer but no one informed me about it. I am getting very tired of feeling left out of everything. It makes me feel like I am on an island, drifting away! Last night I finally talked to my older sister. She s...	Hoot Nanny	3	400	Nov 7, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Going on a trip (Preview) I'm headed out of town in a couple of weeks this is a big deal as it's the first time I will be childless AND without a spouse in over 13 years. That is a big milestone. Asked me 5 years ago if I would leave the kids with my AH and the answer would have been a resounding NO WAY!! I figure 7 days of no baths for the y...	Pushka	3	360	Nov 7, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Letting go (Preview) I was able to get away for the weekend to visit a friend of mine. I enjoyed the stunning drive through the VA mountains. Was able to enjoy the time spent with my friend. Her daughter turned 8 and she has 2 babies under 2 plus a little boy so I went up to offer an extra set of hands for the weekend. Before I left I g...	Jackie11	8	605	Nov 7, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	A true gift!!!! (Preview) http://vimeo.com/31158841 I hope you can see this. I am in complete awe. love.....	Debilyn	5	404	Nov 7, 2011 by orchidlover
	BPD (Preview) Well.. not sure if I said much about this on this board, but I have been to a psychologist today. I have tried a few counsellors and such, but none seem to really 'get' what it is about me that I want to work on. Today, I spoke about BPD traits and how I feel fit most of them when we look back over the history of m...	Lindaoakford	19	3460	Nov 7, 2011 by Lindaoakford
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.