Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I realized a few weeks ago that I sometimes make excuses for not getting to a F2F meeting. If my AH is out of town or sick or whatever, I use that as an excuse not to go to my home meeting. If AH isn't home or available, I don't have anyone to drive the kids to their evening activities. I finally admitted this ex...

danni · danni

so, my first time on a message board, but i have two small children and am up too early to make an outreach call. my husband is not sober but is functioning. his drinking is getting worse and is back to about every other day.so i am dealing with a hangover every other morning as well. thankful his drinki...

Golightly24 · Golightly24

Last night, my AB came to the Halloween party my friend and I threw. He is 3 months out of rehab. Usually I have the party at my house but didn't want to put him in that situation and decided to have it elsewhere. I don't drink or do drugs (just don't like it). My friends aren't big drinkers either. My AB came a...

KLotus · KLotus

I went to a meeting yesterday :) It was my homegroup meeting, which I haven't been to in ages. I flexed my time at work, skipping out a bit, and met with my sponsor beforehand. I was feeling like "Ok! You win (God)! Tell me what to do (Sponsor)." I cannot control my recovering alcoholic h...

HoofnIt · HoofnIt

I have really had enough of my BF coming home drunk after saying "don't worry I'll be sober" or lying to me before i even ask. Last night the very 1st thing he said to me was "don't worry, I'm good" which was suppose to mean he wasn't drinking. With in 5 minutes of looking at him i could...

KimK · KimK

I was reading through one of the posts here tonight,, and read a line posted by rehprof....Stay out of crazy town....It struck me as funny and kept running through my head....Makes perfect sense.... I've been to crazy town more times than I care to remember, and I wish I could have back all the tears an...

amills4294 · amills4294

I thought I would share - this was very powerful for me and my HP put this in front of me today when I most needed it. True to Ourselves: November 8 This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. William Shakespeare To thine own self b...

Grace7 · Grace7

My Ex-"A" is the source of my frustration, but more than that, the lack of resources to protect the community at large from him and including my grandchildren from being in his prescence when he owns a firearm with ammo and gets it out to shoot immaginary predators due to his dillusions etc....

SCARLETT · SCARLETT

I'm new to this forum. Not new to 12 step programs. I currently am practicing duel enrollment :). I'm married to a recovering heroin addict. He has been in a program for 9 months and has another 2 months to graduate the program. We visit regularly and communicate well. Or so I thought. Recently he has bee...

rehprof · rehprof

First court date today to divorce my AH. He will only go for half my retirement, he says, and he will not ask me for alimony as long as I don't ask him for any child support. Wow. He hasn't worked in well over a year because of drinking and pain pills...I'm struggling to keep oil in the tank and food on the tabl...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey all, Sorry to vent again, but then again this info might be useful to anyone who will go through the restraining order process. fyi any of you who do, I recommend a lawyer, advocate, etc...basically as many people as you can to help navigate the paperwork. It is highly time consuming and aggravati...

afares · afares

Over the past week since my husband has started to act a little different I have hit rock bottom within myself. He has become distant and it has thrown me way out of control. I never realized how much dealing with a sober alcoholic father and an alcholic husband have done to me over the years. I have put u...

amills4294 · amills4294

I read alot of these posts - I attend face to face alanon meetings and I am starting to work he steps. What I have the most issue with is not feeling bad or guilty for not meeting the wants/desires of others. I know that a decsion that I need to make is looming and I've known for a long time the direction that...

HisWife24 · HisWife24

I have recently just been introduced to this website. It has been very helpful in the last couple of days as my AH and I are now at a point where we can, again, approach his drinking for what it really is with the help of family and AA. This time around my AH sees his drinking as a problem and something he needs...

danni · danni

Last night, after a few days of my husband's anger escalating and lashing out at me and the kids, he apologized and asked what I was feeling. His drinking has escalated this week along with his anger level. I said I noticed he was drinking more (this is the first I had mentioned it) and that when he drink...

Beckatitis · Beckatitis

Lately I feel as if I am being sucked into a hole, which will swallow me whole and never let me out. Alcoholism has played a major role in a majority of lives, within my immediate family. Both of my parents, who have never really been together, have overcome their addictions and no longer drink. My mom doe...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just found out that my father has stage 4 cancer. No one even told me that I can remember. I knew he had cancer but no one informed me about it. I am getting very tired of feeling left out of everything. It makes me feel like I am on an island, drifting away! Last night I finally talked to my older sister. She s...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm headed out of town in a couple of weeks this is a big deal as it's the first time I will be childless AND without a spouse in over 13 years. That is a big milestone. Asked me 5 years ago if I would leave the kids with my AH and the answer would have been a resounding NO WAY!! I figure 7 days of no baths for the y...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I was able to get away for the weekend to visit a friend of mine. I enjoyed the stunning drive through the VA mountains. Was able to enjoy the time spent with my friend. Her daughter turned 8 and she has 2 babies under 2 plus a little boy so I went up to offer an extra set of hands for the weekend. Before I left I g...

Debilyn · Debilyn

http://vimeo.com/31158841 I hope you can see this. I am in complete awe. love.....

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Well.. not sure if I said much about this on this board, but I have been to a psychologist today. I have tried a few counsellors and such, but none seem to really 'get' what it is about me that I want to work on. Today, I spoke about BPD traits and how I feel fit most of them when we look back over the history of m...

Rosyrosy · Rosyrosy

Hello I think I already understand that I won't get advice here but maybe someone can offer me some wisdom... There is an Al-Anon meeting near me this evening and I am considering attending for the first time (I am 33). I would say that I carry a lot of pain about a number of drinkers in my mother's family,...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I am starting to think I must have the worse memory in the world. On Saturday, I went out to the shops for about an hour. I knew in my heart he would have a smoke and I was only half uptight about it. Before I went home, I rang to see if we needed anything, milk or whatever. I had to ring a number of times befo...

mannaguy · mannaguy

Hi. I've been having some severe panic attacks the past few days. My GF of nine months 1st assaulted me back in March.Luckily I wasn't bruised or scarred and security at the bar wisely separated us and took her away.Shortly after I went to Alanon and it became apparent to me that she was not the only alcoh...

kris10 · kris10

What Happens to this Kitten Will Really Move You - Click Here to Watch the Video =) www.godvine.com Love this one!!!

KLotus · KLotus

I have not felt well for the last couple of days. Today I started feeling a bit better, and had been asked to meet with a friend for tea. Usually I would bring my 18 month old with me, but was really feeling like I needed a couple of hours just for me. I have a long work week ahead, a stressfull one. My husba...

mdkm0726 · mdkm0726

I had to call DFS for my daughter and her children since the family has no electric and is living in unfit conditions. The worker called me today and what a small world. The worker lives just across the street from me..HP comes in when you least expect it. The worker feels a connection to me and my famil...

Hal Lee · Hal Lee

Does anyone have an experience trying to help an adult child who uses alcohol to self-medicate to make his Tourete's Syndrome symptoms better? Is he a special case or do the normal methods of Al-Anon apply? Need your imput please. Thanks

Not Alone · Not Alone

>sigh< I thought he was doing so well. About a month ago AB hit rock bottom - no need for the details except to say it was bad. He started counselling and started AA. I thought he was doing well. Well, over the weekend I could smell it on him and his behavior confirmed it - not the drunken behavior bu...

afares · afares

My husband (16 months sober) and I are going through a very difficult time right now and it is leaving me lost and very lonely. He has been very withdrawn lately and no longer is very into our relationship which we have been trying to rebuild. We have began to deal with the financial mess that we have gott...

No words · No words

My husband just got out of inpatient rehab 10 days ago and is already drinking. Those 10 days were fabulous - full of hope, optomism and plans for the future. Then this freak storm knocked us out of power and he used the stress as an excuse to start drinking. Of course he hid it and if course I knew. I tried to...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I'm holding to my boundary that the kids cannot be in the car with AH driving. Over the course of the past year, I've asked twice that he not drink then drive the kids. He is able to do that for awhile, then he goes right back to drinking then driving the kids. AH has shown me what he is going to do, so I had to dec...

noelle2 · noelle2

we have a 11mos old and just moved, i found a bottle in front of him and he confessed, he had been drinking for the past month, probably longer because i dont know what i can believe. He has "slipped" each weekend since, today I caught it because I wanted a sip of his drink and to my surprise it wa...

kris10 · kris10

So far so good.. He went to his meeting with one of his friends.. Came home in a good mood. Mentioned that there was a girl there that confessed that she had a relapse but was now 5 days sober.. Didnt understand why people were so happy for her new 5 days.. Said he just doesnt ever count the days he is sober. Sa...

afares · afares

I wrote about my husbands anger and lack of attention yesterday and so many people helped with everything they wrote. I have been reading and going to meetins trying to learn how to handle the life I have right now and it is so hard. I have been trying to understand the way my husband is being right now an...

oldergal · oldergal

So what do you do when you think your A-son (28) has stolen from you? He knows my shed is open because some of his belongings are in there. This was something still new in a box and was expensive. That's what I get for being so trusting. My fault for not locking things down. I accused him, but I still don't kno...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I was reading one of my many books "The language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie and it occurred to me I haven't felt trapped in a long time. I have learned to make decisions and own them by being true to myself lately. I am not giving into guilt when anyone tries to pull it. I am not making choice...

All I can be · All I can be

Time Change? Time and Change ... a tough choice... I'll take Change so the Time will be well spent. Bill

amills4294 · amills4294

I participate on this board and the Adult Children's - my mom is the alcoholic. My spouse is not an alcoholic but does have those behaviors and has a compulisve/addictive personality. So I struggle with being in a relationship with that because of my childhood learned behaviors. Work has been abs...

Ness · Ness

I dont have the strength to write much more at the moment but just want to say thank you all for your love and support.Our sons cremation took place yesterday (Thursday) The peace of the Al-anon programme is with me.Much loveNess x

Cupcake · Cupcake

Why is it that my husband will 'hide' evidence of his drinking in the most obvious places ever?! It's like that Seinfeld episode when Kramer is hiding a key in Jerry's apartment but he hides it in places like Jerry's coat pocket so he finds it right away. LOL I had to look for 2 things yesterday and both tim...

Diva · Diva

Thanks for all your responses...believe me I appreciate them. I haven't been around too much lately as you no doubt have gathered. I have been very, very busy locating a lovely home in Florida of which I took ownership on last Tuesday. Sold the condo in Hawai'i as my children wanted me closer to them...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been wanting connection to my family all the way up here 900 miles away. It is seeming to happy but maybe be slowly. I can wait longer because it is so worth it! I have been able to talk to my precious step-sister & she is very lonely for her mom. The service went well from what I heard. Wished I coul...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My brother my dad's only son finally went to see my dad after many long years having nothing really to do w/ him! I am so happy that this has happened. It was time for them to mend fences & maybe create a new bond. It seems so hard for me to see that he couldn't reconcile w/ my Dad until Tues. but at least it h...

Confidence is my illusion · Confidence is my illusion

As I'm writing this, my husband is gathering some belongings to move to our camper at a KOA campground. He got a second DUI a couple of nights ago and I've asked him to leave to work through this on his own. I've thrown everything I had in my aresenal at this problem and nothing has worked. I look like I'm str...

mousie1 · mousie1

I have read a lot about this syndrome and its impact in early recovery. One thing I read said that it can go up to two years, but, many times peaks in three to six months. If a small amount of alcohol is consumed (one or two drinks) does it undo all the healing in the brain and you start over again?

John · John

Hello everyone, We will be having the scheduled group business meeting tonight at 7 PM eastern time. We are asking everyone who considers themselves a member of the group, be it by the message board, or by the chat room meetings to join us for this meeting. 1. On tonight's agenda is a review of Op respo...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

Ive had it. I do not understand why the liquor store around the corner from my house continues to provide my husband with alcohol on credit! He's not working so he has no money to pay. He's been over three times already today and it's just after 1:00. So on his way back from his last trip over, I turned him ar...

rara avis · rara avis

This is just a needed rant, and I'm afraid not helpful to anyone, unless you need to hear another story to make yourself feel not alone in this craziness! I thank this forum for providing this outlet! On advice I went to a police station to file a report on my ex RA, but was convinced to file an EPO [ emergenc...

Jules1011 · Jules1011

I am very grateful right now that I made the decision to end an unhealthy relationship with my ex, I have a lot of gratitude for this programme, the f2f meetings and the people on this board. Although, I am struggling with guilt right now. My ex has ran up a huge phone bill and the phone is in my name, I found...

glad · glad

Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is [a]lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, [b]dwell on these things. When I have "negative" run through my brain, just for today, I will q...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

When I am confronted by my AH with his justifications or lies or delusions or whatever you want to call them, I have to go through my mental list of what I know. I know he drinks, even when he says he won't. I know he drinks and hides it. I know there is an ever increasing stash of empty alcohol bottles accumul...

kris10 · kris10

If you have been following my posts the last couple days I'm sure you probably have the same puzzled look on your face that I do right about now...lol The other day he said he wanted to go to an AA meeting but at the time he was high on H... I wanted soooo bad to tell him "don't go when you are high, how rude...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

This is really kind of amusing in a sad way. My estranged AH and I submitted finally submitted our joint 2010 tax return a couple of months ago. I got a letter in the mail last week that said we would not be getting a penny back due to tax liabilities for 2007. This was news to me, as I was not aware of any previo...

never going back · never going back

Actually, I never left. It's been a little over a year since I posted, but I get on here at least once a week to read other's posts, stalking, I guess you'd call it. But now I'm in a bad place again, and felt the need of support. My AH admitted to himself that he was an alcoholic 3 years ago, after 35 years of dr...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

http://www.houstonadultchildren.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=62&Itemid=71-- Edited by Lindaoakford on Wednesday 2nd of November 2011 11:01:23 PM

micawber · micawber

A very dear friend of mine (and ex-boyfriend) is well into his recovery process--he's been sober for over a year now, mostly thanks to AA. He is dedicated to going to daily meetings, chairs them sometimes, has a sponsor, etc. etc. While our relationship is still close, I know that he has lost touch with...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

Hola all! Tonight marked yet another step forward in my recovery - came home to my husband somewhat drunk and I just did my thing. I basically disregarded his acting out and went about making dinner and watching tv. He made a huge mess in the kitchen - I did my own dishes and left his for him to deal with. He t...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Wow, was just reminded I can never get too comfortable. Things have been going pretty well lately. Came home tonight and BAM! A few days ago my AH said something I did was 'stupid', I ignored it at the time, but today what he said I was stupid for worked out, I made the mistake of saying "and you said I w...

f2fmember · f2fmember

Does anyone know anything about the concepts. I have the paths to recovery book but really can't get my head round them in any practical way. f2fmember

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Excuses (Preview) I realized a few weeks ago that I sometimes make excuses for not getting to a F2F meeting. If my AH is out of town or sick or whatever, I use that as an excuse not to go to my home meeting. If AH isn't home or available, I don't have anyone to drive the kids to their evening activities. I finally admitted this ex...	Very Very Tired	6	373	Nov 9, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Trying to detatch from my husbands hangover (Preview) so, my first time on a message board, but i have two small children and am up too early to make an outreach call. my husband is not sober but is functioning. his drinking is getting worse and is back to about every other day.so i am dealing with a hangover every other morning as well. thankful his drinki...	danni	12	817	Nov 9, 2011 by danni
	"how could you let him..." (Preview) Last night, my AB came to the Halloween party my friend and I threw. He is 3 months out of rehab. Usually I have the party at my house but didn't want to put him in that situation and decided to have it elsewhere. I don't drink or do drugs (just don't like it). My friends aren't big drinkers either. My AB came a...	Golightly24	16	972	Nov 9, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Update (Preview) I went to a meeting yesterday :) It was my homegroup meeting, which I haven't been to in ages. I flexed my time at work, skipping out a bit, and met with my sponsor beforehand. I was feeling like "Ok! You win (God)! Tell me what to do (Sponsor)." I cannot control my recovering alcoholic h...	KLotus	7	318	Nov 9, 2011 by KLotus
	need some opinons (Preview) I have really had enough of my BF coming home drunk after saying "don't worry I'll be sober" or lying to me before i even ask. Last night the very 1st thing he said to me was "don't worry, I'm good" which was suppose to mean he wasn't drinking. With in 5 minutes of looking at him i could...	HoofnIt	11	441	Nov 9, 2011 by nyc018
	Stay out of Crazy Town (Preview) I was reading through one of the posts here tonight,, and read a line posted by rehprof....Stay out of crazy town....It struck me as funny and kept running through my head....Makes perfect sense.... I've been to crazy town more times than I care to remember, and I wish I could have back all the tears an...	KimK	4	331	Nov 9, 2011 by Pushka
	Being True to Ourselves (Preview) I thought I would share - this was very powerful for me and my HP put this in front of me today when I most needed it. True to Ourselves: November 8 This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. William Shakespeare To thine own self b...	amills4294	6	456	Nov 9, 2011 by tommyecat
	Frustrated! (Preview) My Ex-"A" is the source of my frustration, but more than that, the lack of resources to protect the community at large from him and including my grandchildren from being in his prescence when he owns a firearm with ammo and gets it out to shoot immaginary predators due to his dillusions etc....	Grace7	4	549	Nov 9, 2011 by tommyecat
	confused (Preview) I'm new to this forum. Not new to 12 step programs. I currently am practicing duel enrollment :). I'm married to a recovering heroin addict. He has been in a program for 9 months and has another 2 months to graduate the program. We visit regularly and communicate well. Or so I thought. Recently he has bee...	SCARLETT	9	390	Nov 9, 2011 by SCARLETT
	Tough day ahead (Preview) First court date today to divorce my AH. He will only go for half my retirement, he says, and he will not ask me for alimony as long as I don't ask him for any child support. Wow. He hasn't worked in well over a year because of drinking and pain pills...I'm struggling to keep oil in the tank and food on the tabl...	rehprof	8	483	Nov 8, 2011 by pinkchip
	Pushed beyond the point of sanity (Preview) Hey all, Sorry to vent again, but then again this info might be useful to anyone who will go through the restraining order process. fyi any of you who do, I recommend a lawyer, advocate, etc...basically as many people as you can to help navigate the paperwork. It is highly time consuming and aggravati...	rara avis	9	582	Nov 8, 2011 by likemyheart
	Revelations About Myself (Preview) Over the past week since my husband has started to act a little different I have hit rock bottom within myself. He has become distant and it has thrown me way out of control. I never realized how much dealing with a sober alcoholic father and an alcholic husband have done to me over the years. I have put u...	afares	4	347	Nov 8, 2011 by afares
	Working on not feeling guilt when taking care of me (Preview) I read alot of these posts - I attend face to face alanon meetings and I am starting to work he steps. What I have the most issue with is not feeling bad or guilty for not meeting the wants/desires of others. I know that a decsion that I need to make is looming and I've known for a long time the direction that...	amills4294	6	388	Nov 8, 2011 by abbyal
	Just Need Some Words of Encouragement (Preview) I have recently just been introduced to this website. It has been very helpful in the last couple of days as my AH and I are now at a point where we can, again, approach his drinking for what it really is with the help of family and AA. This time around my AH sees his drinking as a problem and something he needs...	HisWife24	15	2178	Nov 8, 2011 by pinkchip
	Not sure I should have said that (Preview) Last night, after a few days of my husband's anger escalating and lashing out at me and the kids, he apologized and asked what I was feeling. His drinking has escalated this week along with his anger level. I said I noticed he was drinking more (this is the first I had mentioned it) and that when he drink...	danni	8	502	Nov 8, 2011 by pinkchip
	I hope and pray.. (Preview) Lately I feel as if I am being sucked into a hole, which will swallow me whole and never let me out. Alcoholism has played a major role in a majority of lives, within my immediate family. Both of my parents, who have never really been together, have overcome their addictions and no longer drink. My mom doe...	Beckatitis	4	386	Nov 8, 2011 by rrib
	so tired (Preview) I just found out that my father has stage 4 cancer. No one even told me that I can remember. I knew he had cancer but no one informed me about it. I am getting very tired of feeling left out of everything. It makes me feel like I am on an island, drifting away! Last night I finally talked to my older sister. She s...	Hoot Nanny	3	316	Nov 7, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Going on a trip (Preview) I'm headed out of town in a couple of weeks this is a big deal as it's the first time I will be childless AND without a spouse in over 13 years. That is a big milestone. Asked me 5 years ago if I would leave the kids with my AH and the answer would have been a resounding NO WAY!! I figure 7 days of no baths for the y...	Pushka	3	276	Nov 7, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Letting go (Preview) I was able to get away for the weekend to visit a friend of mine. I enjoyed the stunning drive through the VA mountains. Was able to enjoy the time spent with my friend. Her daughter turned 8 and she has 2 babies under 2 plus a little boy so I went up to offer an extra set of hands for the weekend. Before I left I g...	Jackie11	8	520	Nov 7, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	A true gift!!!! (Preview) http://vimeo.com/31158841 I hope you can see this. I am in complete awe. love.....	Debilyn	5	321	Nov 7, 2011 by orchidlover
	BPD (Preview) Well.. not sure if I said much about this on this board, but I have been to a psychologist today. I have tried a few counsellors and such, but none seem to really 'get' what it is about me that I want to work on. Today, I spoke about BPD traits and how I feel fit most of them when we look back over the history of m...	Lindaoakford	19	3268	Nov 7, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Should I go to meeting? (Preview) Hello I think I already understand that I won't get advice here but maybe someone can offer me some wisdom... There is an Al-Anon meeting near me this evening and I am considering attending for the first time (I am 33). I would say that I carry a lot of pain about a number of drinkers in my mother's family,...	Rosyrosy	10	624	Nov 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Do I just forget??? (Preview) Hi I am starting to think I must have the worse memory in the world. On Saturday, I went out to the shops for about an hour. I knew in my heart he would have a smoke and I was only half uptight about it. Before I went home, I rang to see if we needed anything, milk or whatever. I had to ring a number of times befo...	Lindaoakford	12	668	Nov 7, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	PTSD from previous assaults. (Preview) Hi. I've been having some severe panic attacks the past few days. My GF of nine months 1st assaulted me back in March.Luckily I wasn't bruised or scarred and security at the bar wisely separated us and took her away.Shortly after I went to Alanon and it became apparent to me that she was not the only alcoh...	mannaguy	11	492	Nov 7, 2011 by mannaguy
	Never lose hope... (Preview) What Happens to this Kitten Will Really Move You - Click Here to Watch the Video =) www.godvine.com Love this one!!!	kris10	4	346	Nov 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Trying to ask for what I need (Preview) I have not felt well for the last couple of days. Today I started feeling a bit better, and had been asked to meet with a friend for tea. Usually I would bring my 18 month old with me, but was really feeling like I needed a couple of hours just for me. I have a long work week ahead, a stressfull one. My husba...	KLotus	5	474	Nov 7, 2011 by Pushka
	Addict Daughter with 3 small Children - update (Preview) I had to call DFS for my daughter and her children since the family has no electric and is living in unfit conditions. The worker called me today and what a small world. The worker lives just across the street from me..HP comes in when you least expect it. The worker feels a connection to me and my famil...	mdkm0726	4	341	Nov 7, 2011 by rosielee
	Al-Anon, alcoholism & Tourette's? (Preview) Does anyone have an experience trying to help an adult child who uses alcohol to self-medicate to make his Tourete's Syndrome symptoms better? Is he a special case or do the normal methods of Al-Anon apply? Need your imput please. Thanks	Hal Lee	14	987	Nov 7, 2011 by Hal Lee
	disappointment... (Preview) >sigh< I thought he was doing so well. About a month ago AB hit rock bottom - no need for the details except to say it was bad. He started counselling and started AA. I thought he was doing well. Well, over the weekend I could smell it on him and his behavior confirmed it - not the drunken behavior bu...	Not Alone	7	876	Nov 7, 2011 by rosielee
	Feeling lost - New to alanon but want a new way of life (Preview) My husband (16 months sober) and I are going through a very difficult time right now and it is leaving me lost and very lonely. He has been very withdrawn lately and no longer is very into our relationship which we have been trying to rebuild. We have began to deal with the financial mess that we have gott...	afares	14	672	Nov 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Just out of rehab and drinking (Preview) My husband just got out of inpatient rehab 10 days ago and is already drinking. Those 10 days were fabulous - full of hope, optomism and plans for the future. Then this freak storm knocked us out of power and he used the stress as an excuse to start drinking. Of course he hid it and if course I knew. I tried to...	No words	16	3745	Nov 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Exhausted (Preview) I'm holding to my boundary that the kids cannot be in the car with AH driving. Over the course of the past year, I've asked twice that he not drink then drive the kids. He is able to do that for awhile, then he goes right back to drinking then driving the kids. AH has shown me what he is going to do, so I had to dec...	Very Very Tired	16	500	Nov 7, 2011 by Very Very Tired
	what do i do, please any help (Preview) we have a 11mos old and just moved, i found a bottle in front of him and he confessed, he had been drinking for the past month, probably longer because i dont know what i can believe. He has "slipped" each weekend since, today I caught it because I wanted a sip of his drink and to my surprise it wa...	noelle2	9	726	Nov 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Update to AA for my A (Preview) So far so good.. He went to his meeting with one of his friends.. Came home in a good mood. Mentioned that there was a girl there that confessed that she had a relapse but was now 5 days sober.. Didnt understand why people were so happy for her new 5 days.. Said he just doesnt ever count the days he is sober. Sa...	kris10	11	356	Nov 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Dont know how to act!!! Anxiety is high and confused (Preview) I wrote about my husbands anger and lack of attention yesterday and so many people helped with everything they wrote. I have been reading and going to meetins trying to learn how to handle the life I have right now and it is so hard. I have been trying to understand the way my husband is being right now an...	afares	8	600	Nov 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	STOLEN THINGS (Preview) So what do you do when you think your A-son (28) has stolen from you? He knows my shed is open because some of his belongings are in there. This was something still new in a box and was expensive. That's what I get for being so trusting. My fault for not locking things down. I accused him, but I still don't kno...	oldergal	7	520	Nov 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Not feeling trapped any longer (Preview) I was reading one of my many books "The language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie and it occurred to me I haven't felt trapped in a long time. I have learned to make decisions and own them by being true to myself lately. I am not giving into guilt when anyone tries to pull it. I am not making choice...	Breakingfree	4	379	Nov 7, 2011 by amills4294
	Time Change? (Preview) Time Change? Time and Change ... a tough choice... I'll take Change so the Time will be well spent. Bill	All I can be	2	319	Nov 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	rough couple of weeks... making progress for me (Preview) I participate on this board and the Adult Children's - my mom is the alcoholic. My spouse is not an alcoholic but does have those behaviors and has a compulisve/addictive personality. So I struggle with being in a relationship with that because of my childhood learned behaviors. Work has been abs...	amills4294	6	558	Nov 7, 2011 by amills4294
	Dear Friends.....update (Preview) I dont have the strength to write much more at the moment but just want to say thank you all for your love and support.Our sons cremation took place yesterday (Thursday) The peace of the Al-anon programme is with me.Much loveNess x	Ness	10	835	Nov 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Have to laugh (Preview) Why is it that my husband will 'hide' evidence of his drinking in the most obvious places ever?! It's like that Seinfeld episode when Kramer is hiding a key in Jerry's apartment but he hides it in places like Jerry's coat pocket so he finds it right away. LOL I had to look for 2 things yesterday and both tim...	Cupcake	4	299	Nov 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Hello all! (Preview) Thanks for all your responses...believe me I appreciate them. I haven't been around too much lately as you no doubt have gathered. I have been very, very busy locating a lovely home in Florida of which I took ownership on last Tuesday. Sold the condo in Hawai'i as my children wanted me closer to them...	Diva	1	275	Nov 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	good things out of sadness (Preview) I have been wanting connection to my family all the way up here 900 miles away. It is seeming to happy but maybe be slowly. I can wait longer because it is so worth it! I have been able to talk to my precious step-sister & she is very lonely for her mom. The service went well from what I heard. Wished I coul...	Hoot Nanny	2	308	Nov 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	update: my brother (Preview) My brother my dad's only son finally went to see my dad after many long years having nothing really to do w/ him! I am so happy that this has happened. It was time for them to mend fences & maybe create a new bond. It seems so hard for me to see that he couldn't reconcile w/ my Dad until Tues. but at least it h...	Hoot Nanny	5	319	Nov 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Husband received 2nd DUI after 12 years from the first and only 9 months after treatment. (Preview) As I'm writing this, my husband is gathering some belongings to move to our camper at a KOA campground. He got a second DUI a couple of nights ago and I've asked him to leave to work through this on his own. I've thrown everything I had in my aresenal at this problem and nothing has worked. I look like I'm str...	Confidence is my illusion	10	4130	Nov 6, 2011 by Pushka
	post acute withdrawal syndrome (Preview) I have read a lot about this syndrome and its impact in early recovery. One thing I read said that it can go up to two years, but, many times peaks in three to six months. If a small amount of alcohol is consumed (one or two drinks) does it undo all the healing in the brain and you start over again?	mousie1	2	550	Nov 6, 2011 by hotrod
	Group Business Meeting Tonight at 7pm est (Preview) Hello everyone, We will be having the scheduled group business meeting tonight at 7 PM eastern time. We are asking everyone who considers themselves a member of the group, be it by the message board, or by the chat room meetings to join us for this meeting. 1. On tonight's agenda is a review of Op respo...	John	0	640	Nov 6, 2011 by John
	Just went to the liquor store (Preview) Ive had it. I do not understand why the liquor store around the corner from my house continues to provide my husband with alcohol on credit! He's not working so he has no money to pay. He's been over three times already today and it's just after 1:00. So on his way back from his last trip over, I turned him ar...	Mlkiss75	9	702	Nov 5, 2011 by Jerry F
	Stressed out, need to rant [ long, sorry ] (Preview) This is just a needed rant, and I'm afraid not helpful to anyone, unless you need to hear another story to make yourself feel not alone in this craziness! I thank this forum for providing this outlet! On advice I went to a police station to file a report on my ex RA, but was convinced to file an EPO [ emergenc...	rara avis	9	560	Nov 5, 2011 by rosielee
	Feeling guilty with gratitude....confusing yes (Preview) I am very grateful right now that I made the decision to end an unhealthy relationship with my ex, I have a lot of gratitude for this programme, the f2f meetings and the people on this board. Although, I am struggling with guilt right now. My ex has ran up a huge phone bill and the phone is in my name, I found...	Jules1011	7	606	Nov 5, 2011 by Jules1011
	Today will be a good day! (Preview) Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is [a]lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, [b]dwell on these things. When I have "negative" run through my brain, just for today, I will q...	glad	6	281	Nov 5, 2011 by amills4294
	What I know (Preview) When I am confronted by my AH with his justifications or lies or delusions or whatever you want to call them, I have to go through my mental list of what I know. I know he drinks, even when he says he won't. I know he drinks and hides it. I know there is an ever increasing stash of empty alcohol bottles accumul...	Very Very Tired	8	492	Nov 4, 2011 by never going back
	My A just left for an AA meeting???? (Preview) If you have been following my posts the last couple days I'm sure you probably have the same puzzled look on your face that I do right about now...lol The other day he said he wanted to go to an AA meeting but at the time he was high on H... I wanted soooo bad to tell him "don't go when you are high, how rude...	kris10	13	531	Nov 4, 2011 by never going back
	The IRS Thinks I'm a Victim (Preview) This is really kind of amusing in a sad way. My estranged AH and I submitted finally submitted our joint 2010 tax return a couple of months ago. I got a letter in the mail last week that said we would not be getting a penny back due to tax liabilities for 2007. This was news to me, as I was not aware of any previo...	Green Eyes	6	711	Nov 4, 2011 by Green Eyes
	I'm back..... (Preview) Actually, I never left. It's been a little over a year since I posted, but I get on here at least once a week to read other's posts, stalking, I guess you'd call it. But now I'm in a bad place again, and felt the need of support. My AH admitted to himself that he was an alcoholic 3 years ago, after 35 years of dr...	never going back	9	830	Nov 4, 2011 by HisWife24
	found a website that is great (Preview) http://www.houstonadultchildren.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=62&Itemid=71-- Edited by Lindaoakford on Wednesday 2nd of November 2011 11:01:23 PM	Lindaoakford	5	500	Nov 4, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	How to help a friend? (Preview) A very dear friend of mine (and ex-boyfriend) is well into his recovery process--he's been sober for over a year now, mostly thanks to AA. He is dedicated to going to daily meetings, chairs them sometimes, has a sponsor, etc. etc. While our relationship is still close, I know that he has lost touch with...	micawber	4	342	Nov 4, 2011 by rrib
	Amazing progress (Preview) Hola all! Tonight marked yet another step forward in my recovery - came home to my husband somewhat drunk and I just did my thing. I basically disregarded his acting out and went about making dinner and watching tv. He made a huge mess in the kitchen - I did my own dishes and left his for him to deal with. He t...	Mlkiss75	9	344	Nov 4, 2011 by Mlkiss75
	Never Get Too Comfortable (Preview) Wow, was just reminded I can never get too comfortable. Things have been going pretty well lately. Came home tonight and BAM! A few days ago my AH said something I did was 'stupid', I ignored it at the time, but today what he said I was stupid for worked out, I made the mistake of saying "and you said I w...	surfgirl123	6	741	Nov 4, 2011 by orchidlover
	Concepts (Preview) Does anyone know anything about the concepts. I have the paths to recovery book but really can't get my head round them in any practical way. f2fmember	f2fmember	1	282	Nov 4, 2011 by tommyecat
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.