The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So far so good.. He went to his meeting with one of his friends.. Came home in a good mood. Mentioned that there was a girl there that confessed that she had a relapse but was now 5 days sober.. Didnt understand why people were so happy for her new 5 days.. Said he just doesnt ever count the days he is sober. Said that if " sometimes im just sober, I dont need to count" So in my head im thinkin... Thats because when people are REALLY trying to get sober and their head is REALLY in it they are proud of those days ( unlike him) BUT I didnt say that... I didnt want to take away from him that he actually went.. I just sort of listened to him without putting my 2 cents in.. Told him i was proud of him for going..
I think his thing is that he doesnt believe he can do it.. Well i know he thinks this way because he has told me many time that he is no different from all the statistics.. 75% or somthing of all H addicts relapse.. What he says.. So maybe his head isnt really into it. Maybe he doesnt believe it will ever work.. But im never going to tell him hes going about it or doing it wrong.. That is for him to figure out and for me to maybe encouage him to take it one day at a time...
As for today... Hes in his normal loving self mood! And for me... Im keeping busy doing fun stuff for me!!
Good job, Kris. I know how challenging this time is for you.
I learned that it's best to not try to determine why he did things. Just let it be.
As far as the statistic go, if I dwell on them at all, I strive to focus on the percentage that are successful.
I learned that it's best to place my focus on the good regarding all things. Sometimes that it quite challenging. That's when I keep it general. That is, for example, I tell myself Gee, the sun is out today; it feels great against my skin. Or, I'm so thankful that I have two legs to walk on. It's kinda like making a Gratitude List to keep my mind focused on the positive. With lots of practice, I've trained my mind pretty well. At first, I hated the suggestion to do so; I truly thought it was lame. But it's not true.
Again, good job! You're doing well.
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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
I applaud you for you take on all this and I think you are right in where he is likely at in terms of recovery (even though this is alanon and where you are at is what matters).
Great job!! It's so hard to keep the focus on us when they get glimmers of just maybe. That's why one day at a time is sooo important.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Well, I took a much needed nap (soooo tired lately) and woke up supper!! My A took my son and they went to McDonalds to pick up supper for all of us!! AND now my A is on his way to another meeting!!! He is court ordered to go to 2 meetings a week... He hasn't been going to any... a couple months ago when he was goin he went everyday.. I think that's what he is planning on doing again... In which case, good for him to take it upon himself to go everyday when he is only "made" go 2 times a week!!! The real test will be when he gets paid I guess
Good for you to encourage him and leave it at that. If he wants a program of recovery, he has to chase it. Keep taking care of you and your dear son. It is truly one day at a time.
