The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is really kind of amusing in a sad way. My estranged AH and I submitted finally submitted our joint 2010 tax return a couple of months ago. I got a letter in the mail last week that said we would not be getting a penny back due to tax liabilities for 2007. This was news to me, as I was not aware of any previous problems with our tax returns.
Since my AH has not tried to contact the IRS about this issue (after promising me that he would do so this week), I took the morning off from work to wait on hold with the IRS. The IRS agent informed me that my AH has "personal legal liablitiies" that have caused a lien to be placed on our 2007 tax return. He said that he could not disclose the details with me, that I would have to get this information directly from my spouse in order to protect his privacy. Yeah, right, like that's really going to happen!
He then suggested that I submit an IRS form called "Injured Spouse Form," which might allow me to receive a refund or partial refund to due the fact that that I was the one who claimed an income this past year (he did not as he was self-employed and had numerous business write-offs).
I find it amusing that as much as I struggle with not playing the "victim" or martyr role, apparently the IRS categorizes me as an "injured spouse." I don't know whether to laugh or cry right now.
-- Edited by Green Eyes on Thursday 3rd of November 2011 04:07:54 PM
Well, the good new is there is a possibility that you maybe getting part or all of the money back. I always try to see the good in all difficult situations. Thank goodness for that IRS agent for sharing with you there is a plan B here. God is still in the miracle business. Expect a miracle.
Thanks, Marsie! Love the suggestions I get on this board : )
And, yes Tommye, it could have been worse news and I'm trying to keep focused on that right now. I just need to look ahead and not obsess on the past. My HP is in charge here, and I know that.
I can relate, I always saw myself through my exAH's eyes and things he said really stuck. After 2 Pastor's that counseled us and 1 therapist told me it was okay to leave because I was being abused, I was first shocked than relieved. I didn't do everything right, but I wasn't near as bad off as he would have had me believe. After almost a year in the program I can't believe the difference within myself and even my relationship with my 13 year old. I am still learning to slow down and enjoy the moments on this journey, but I am comfortable and not apologizing for taking up space! I am glad you took the time to see what your options were. Keep taking care of yourself! I am sending you love and support on your journey!
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
There is a diffence between being a victim and "playing the victim." When you are mistreated beyond your control, you have ben victimized....there was nothing you could do about that. Using that as an excuse to have a crappy life or to not make the most of today is "playing the victim." Being a victim says nothing of your personhood or your fortitude...it's just what happened to you.
I get that it's ironic but maybe you really are the victim of his crappy financial problems.... If you sat around, didn't work at all and thought of of how to be rewarded from the tragedy that has occured, that would be playing the victim.
Update: So my AH left me a message yesterday letting me know that he apparently did not pay federal payroll taxes for his employees in 2007, and of course, he is blaming this on the payroll service and taking no responsibility whatsoever. He said that I should just file as "married filing separately" next year. He offered no apology, no accountability, no nothing. So typical of him.
In doing some research today, I found out that filing separately as a married person after changing my exemptions this late in the year will open me up for having to pay a huge extra tax payment in 2011. So, I am left with either filing jointly with him again, getting dinged on his back tax liabilities, and then having to submit another "Injured Spouse Form," in order to avoid having to pay a huge amount of extra taxes - or taking it in the shorts and file seperately and having to pay a lot of money that I don't have. We can barely talk to each other for more than 10 minutes, how in the world can I consider filing a joint tax return with him? I don't trust him at all anymore.
I am not a happy camper right now. At least I will be sure to not claim any expemptions from now on so that I can avoid having to pay additional taxes in 2012 and beyond.