The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am planning a trip to California to visit my Mother who still lives in the same house that I grew up in. My dad died 9 years ago and her pot head boyfriend has been with her the last 6 years I think. He doesn't work just mooches off her and she doesn't have that great of a job either. With that being said. I intend on minding my own business and staying out of the house as much as possible, seeing my friends and their kids and going to Disneyland.
Am I far enough along to go and stay with 2 Addicts for 8 days with my 2 daughters and stay dettached with love? I hope so and will find out. The last time I visited 3 years ago it didn't go well, I wasn't going to Al-anon yet. My A brother raged at me for judging my pothead Mother and bf and for not being normal (like them) able to drink or drug and be in denial. It was horrible it was in front of my then 10 yr old and I had a new baby at the time, his wife and I were crying and asking him to stop. I am going to try to avoid him for the most part, but my Mom generally tries to get us all together and it never goes well. I will talk to her about it before I get there and see if she can just let me be low key.
So I am hoping it will be a fun trip with my 13 year old running around my old stomping grounds. I can not afford to stay elsewhere, I can barely afford the plane tickets and I feel it is time to catch up with them and try to love them through it and I will need my toolbox packed and ready. I am praying that I am far enough along that I can actually go and have a good time with my kids. Send me thoughts, well wishes and prayers. I am still pricing tickets, but it looks like sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Absolutely you are ready.... in the big scheme of things, 8 days is a mere blip of time - try to keep that in mind, as you practice your acquired skills & toolset..... ODAT can also me one hour, one minute, one second, etc....
Sometimes "dysfunction" can be a wonderful teaching/learning/awareness opportunity for our young ones - you don't need to "sell them" on whether or not it is healthy or not...
Have a great time!
T
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I totally relate. Here is my experience, I keep doing the same things over and over and expecting different results, LOL
I don't have the money to take the suggestion of my fellowship to get myself a hotel room instead... they keep telling me to do this!!!
But I have this "habit" of forgetting how badly it turned out last time... and I soooo want it to be nice... I want to rely on my HP and my recovery skills. To date, it has not worked out, every time, I have called my sponsor, sobbing. I have been reminded of this.
Of course, I've only tried it four times so far this year... it might work at Christmas time, right?!! It's Christmas, after all....
hehee hahahaha!
Good luck ((my fellow traveler))
-- Edited by glad lee on Thursday 3rd of November 2011 12:24:57 PM
-- Edited by glad lee on Thursday 3rd of November 2011 12:27:20 PM
__________________
The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
I know I tend to wonder/worry if something is or is not going to go well before a trip or visit like the one you are describing for me vising my mother or having her here adds a whole other dynamic to my dysfunctional life. That being said, .. short term pain for long term gain. I find focusing on the positive helps a great deal. Yes there might be uncomfortable situations, with your program and it's strong, you will be better than fine. Dizzyland .. oh how I want to take my daughter there again and my son for the first time!!
Have a great time and if I may make a suggestion it's something to think about priceline.com and expedia.com sometimes you can get a rocking deal with last min sales of them trying to fill seats. Check it out, it's all going to be a great trip with lots of wonderful memories. It's always about the best we can make the moment. :)
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I think you will do fine. You have a sponsor and the good news is you can take MIP with you. If you need to blow off steam, fire up the computer or your cell phone and smoke this place up. We'll give you the time, attention, and love you so deserve, any day of the week.
I f I saw my family of origin it would definitely be from a hotel room. I would really limit the amount of time I have with them.
I've been the route of staing with them. I ended up in a hotel. Admittedly on the trip I went on I was not in al anon (it was quite some time ago). I don't know that I would even attempt it now.
It's that time of year! I'm getting ready for Thanksgiving. The difficulties have already begun and I have tried to express my needs and set boundaries. The family has a long history of ignoring those things or calling me too sensitive. Hmmmm. So I just keep telling myself - well, that's how they are going to be. What are you going to do about it?
I'm trying to plan short visits, breaks and escape routes. Maybe even a hotel room. I love my family. I really want to see them. I just don't want to take in all the negativity and criticism and b.s. I feel like a toddler walking with this new recovery and I don't want anyone knocking me over. The good news is, I know I can get back up again.
I hope you have a really good trip and enjoy Disneyland!:)
