Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Cheese · Cheese

Hello all, This is my very first post. I have never had a problem with alcohol. My wife and I had been casual drinkers since we met 7 years ago. Just last summer her drinking got out of control. Very out of control. She went to rehab and is no doing AA and day treatments. While I was trying to be supportive, I...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

What are some of your strategies for dealing with this, as I'm guessing that many of us have felt this at some time. The phrases "it's never too late" or "better late than never", while possibly true, are just to trite to have any significant impact on me. Sometimes it is "...

stephaniej · stephaniej

One thing that has remained a HUGE trigger for me is when my AH and I are having a "conversation" that is bordering on turning ugly. I have gotten soooo much better at just walking away from those. I refuse to attend the fight. But I invariably end up triggered by my AH's reaction. It enrag...

atheos · atheos

My sponsor and I have decided to go our separate ways. Officially "for a while" but part of me knows this is permanent. She's got stuff going in her own life right now, and has been drifting further and further from the program... she's been too busy to meet with me for a while, and when we did ma...

emil · emil

This is Emil. I asked my husband last night if he thought he had a drinking problem, He said "no." So if his only motivation is that he is afraid I will get mad it will continue to be an ongoing issue. No wonder he stops for a few months at a time and then starts sneaking again. The longest he s...

FreeKat · FreeKat

I have a question on the Step board, I see you are on step 8 now and well I am starting with 1. Can I go back and if I have questions bump up the thread? I just kinda feel lost and out of place. Thanks Kat

alexmaui · alexmaui

My AH and i have been living separately for over a year now. He lives in our home and I live 2 miles away. In the last year he has been hospitalized 4 times with drinking/RX drugs related events. (He drinks, he falls, he hurts himself..he drinks too much for too long and someone calls 911) I'm going to my F2...

joy078 · joy078

Join Us as we trudge the road of happy destiny! http://alanon.activeboard.com/t15927682/double-winners/Don't Be self-righteous Try to dominate, nag schold and comlain and lose your your temper Try to puch anyone but yourself Keep brin...

Oksie · Oksie

couple of things for this post. Firstly, my husbands brothers are all very big drug users, growers, sellers etc. One in particular is not very bright and keeps getting caught. He is looking to going to prison on his next court appearance and he actually thinks he may get sentenced this time. Usuall...

Leslied9 · Leslied9

I haven't been to a meeting yet. My boyfriend drinks quite regularly. He's a binge drinker. He doesn't drink at home but it he stays out until 2 or 4 once a week. He has lots his temper quite a few times. We have gone to councseling for a year. He doesn't get it. The counselor thought it would be wise that I go t...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AH (we are currently separated) texted me last night and asked me, if I didn't already have plans, if he could take me out to dinner to a very expensive restaurant for my birthday this week. Mind you, I had seen a photo of him a couple of days ago on Facebook of him obviously in a bar, with a huge beer mug in h...

Pushka · Pushka

Any ESH? I'm really struggling not so much with being angry with other people .. I'm having a hard time because I'm very upset with myself when I don't do what I know I should do!! I am talking emotionally, program and so on. PLUS .. it's that "YOU know better!!!" stuff! Thanks, P :)

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Not wanting to tell everyone my whole life story but I have been thinking about a lot of things both good & bad about myself & I don't really like who I have become over the years as I am not sure how I can change the behaviors & move on! I have a long list of character defects that sometimes are so...

Jill · Jill

I am reading here all the time. Today I read " Alcoholic Husband (AH)" in a post someone made to a newcomer, spelling out the AH. When I saw that before, I always assumed they had a different "AH" word. I guess "AS" means alcoholic son or sister. hmmmmm I am now laughi...

FreeKat · FreeKat

Well I have been lurking here for a while. I have really enjoyed reading here and it has helped me to know I am not going at this alone. Some back info on me. Been together with AH for 13 yrs, and we should be celebrating our 10 yr wedding anni this July. I say should cause I dont know what is up from down anymore...

Oksie · Oksie

... was me As a child I saw things and heard things and experienced things that were totally incongruent. (I am sure we could all agree). There were promises made that weren't kept, which sometimes resulted in me being physically and emotionally hurt. The person that showed me such love and care at t...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

http://alanon.activeboard.com/t38730205/okay-so-what-can-we-do/

Oksie · Oksie

then its probably a duck. For those of you who don't know me, or I haven't PM'd.... its me.... Linda.... O, I changed my profile name Asmany of you may be aware, I have been doing ALOT of work on myself through the psychologist. Alot of FOO work and childhood stuff. I have been doing DBT to address issu...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

We adopted this cat two months (ish) back. She is pregnant. She is blind. and I am allergic to her. She is the sweetest creature I have ever seen. I love her so much. I just want to pick her up, hold her, stroke her little beard chin, cuddle her, and show her how much I love her. But I can't because I will sneez...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Well, as of March 3 it has been one month since my AH's last explosive relapse. He has found a new counselor, I have removed the gun from our home and have an exit plan should I need it. We went to his weekly AA meeting on Saturday night where he celebrated one month of sobriety. He is reading some new literat...

daisy31 · daisy31

So I am learning in the alanon meetings how to not give advice but to just share my ES&H. It is actually quite a relief to not have to come up with a plan on what someone else should do. I am however struggling with how to communicate with friends (who are not in the program) who come to me with wanting m...

stephaniej · stephaniej

And of course, I thought to bring it to you all, because you are all such a great touchstone for me. Although my journey is very much "three steps forward, two steps back," I do feel like overall I am in a much better place than I was in a year ago. As I get better at turning my AH over to his HP and d...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Hope I haven't accidentally erased my first comment where I describe my situation. I attended my first face to face meeting last night although I have been reading here for a couple of weeks. After reading the literature today, I realized that I have been handling some things in the wrong way and wonde...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

My a/a's including my son, daughter, my daughter's boyfriend, and my daughters adult son, one of them stole a gold diamond ring and a pair of gold ear rings, I'm totally heardbroken, I loved those ear rings. I got over that, thinking God doesn't want me loving material things so much. The heart break...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Just want to write and say hello to everyone. I hope you all know what it means to have this support, when I need it, at my finger tips. I feel so very grateful for all I have been blessed with in my life. I feel very strong right now and as if the winds are blowing in a new direction for me. I think of Mary Popp...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

http://alanon.activeboard.com/t46121273/inspired-by-old-post/

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

My favorite and I are both codependents and adult children. I have not been able to be close to for years because we're both sick, basically. I am also an alcoholic. I have stayed sober for years and have done an inordinate amount of hard work on myself in AA and have come out of denial abuot being the scape...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I posted this on the AA board but wanted to post it here too because I know some of you can relate because you've seen this to be true in your qualifiers. I love this poem though it makes me very sad: I drank for happiness and became unhappy; I drank for joy and became miserable. I drank to be out-going and be...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

It's not easy turning an alcoholic over to his/her Higher Power. But, there comes a point where it is the only option left. I had to try all the other options first. It's who I am and what I do. After trying everything, I finally know no human power can release my AH from his addiction. It's painful because...

Lady Bug · Lady Bug

Hi I am new, and cannot get to f2f Alanon meetings. Can I get a sponsor online and are there meetings here? Thanks Lady Bug

rara avis · rara avis

First, most importantly: I've been reading almost all of the posts but not responding, because I want to write a supportive response to each one! There isn't enough time for that, so I've just been paying attention instead. This is rather flakey, but, seriously, you guys are on my mind and I've been qu...

Tracy · Tracy

Have any off you seen the film eat love pray with Julia roberts in.? I love this film it is what I want need. To build a relationship with myself and my higher power. To follow the guidance from within be true to myself instead of focusing on everything and everyone but me. Fear drags me back to dysfunct...

FreeSpirit67 · FreeSpirit67

Hello everyone, I truly hope I can get some some feedback on my issue here. I broke up with my alcoholic boyfriend just yesterday. We had only been dating for a little over five months but I soon realized that his social drinking was much more than he claimed. He never got violent or physically abusive in...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Diagnosed myself after reading an article and it said everything that I was feeling. Of course I FEEL like I've got good reasons (debt, bad marriage, kid having problems, bored with my job which is becoming more stressful each year). But whatever the reasons, i sit here looking back on my life and fee...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

At a meeting last night, someone read the second part of the serenity prayer, which I had never heard before. Not sure if this is common knowledge or not. Actually the Wikipedia page for the Serenity Prayer is really fascinating: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer Anyway, here is the...

orchidlover · orchidlover

Recently I started "seeing" a man who has 10 years of sobriety. Normally I am such a sucker for lonely needy men. Lately I have been asserting my boundaries a lot. My sponsor instructed me pretty firmly if they cross your boundaries get out of there. Needless to say this guy in his "...

bud · bud

Today, I was asked to consider the positive side of ambiguity. I'd appreciate help, please. Thank you.

debbiems · debbiems

Today my 22yrs AS PO got a OK from the court to give him a probationary licenes. Here I thought I was doing good working my steps but I have to say this brings out my every want to "control". He was lucky on his 4th DUI and the court sent him to treatment rather than 5 years in prision but of coarse th...

Pushka · Pushka

Lately, I have noticed that I have been far to serious about my recovery program and I had a good giggle the other day. I figured I would share as my children are constant reminders of what is and is not important. #1 daughter apparently had enough of #1 son and decided to get even with him. I was in the kit...

daisy31 · daisy31

You don't have to move fast, just keep movin' forward. This isn't from the alanon literature but I sure like it and wanted to share. It reminds me that I can go at my own pace. I can grow and learn and make mistakes at my own pace. I don't have to rush myself anymore. Before Alanon, I thought I had to rush e...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My sponsor sent me an email today and wrote to me that "the three A's are alive and well in your life." I believe she meant this as a postive thing. I'm not able to reach her today, so could someone remind me what the "three A's" are? I'm familiar with the "three C's", but I...

respect · respect

My husband stole from me one too many times today. There have been a hundred days just like today that were followed with threats of calling the police, some yelling, some pouting, and then I chalked it up to being just another day in the life of me- and went on with things. Today I realized that if anyone...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

From the Today's Reminder for March 1 from Courage to Change: "If we understand, things are just as they are. If we do not understand, things are just as they are"--Zen Proverb I related so much to this, specifically with the need to know if my wife has drank or not. But knowing doesn't change...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I hope I am not going through some kind of cycle cause today among other days I am having trouble getting out of bed! I don't feel depressed but sometimes I just want to stay in bed. I don't really want to analyze my life--I really need to talk about it w/ a professional maybe--nah, I think I will pass! I am su...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I knew that just having the conversation about needing help and a 3 day detox meant nothing more then the words said. I know this. I know that life now is so different because of Al-Anon. I know that reading and researching have allowed me to grow and let go. What I struggle with, is what is just the reality...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Despite my optimism and healthy outlook this morning, when my AH called this afternoon on his way to work, it was obvious that he was in a terrible mood. Presumably this was because, once again, he slept away most of the day after drinking last night, and was not able to complete the large majority of the...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

Well, my husband was physically abusive a secret A and addict. I had to get a protective order because of that. I have had a protective order for a while, I had to go to court for it on Monday just to make sure it stayed in place. I have also filed for divorce and my lawyer has been talking to my A. My lawyer...

Overcome · Overcome

"Worry is the darkroom where negatives are developed." - Unknown I think this quote should be a new al-anon slogan! I don't know how many times I've "projected" about things the alcoholic was going to do (or someone else for that matter) that never occured. I've wasted so many...

John · John

Yep, thats me! The guy that so many think of as big bad John, the "GetterDone" guy, the one that so many come to when their ass is in a vise and their head is stuck in their ass... I have been to the ER twice in the past week for anxiety attacks. At first I went thinking I was having respirory problems, couldn...

nunu102 · nunu102

I have been married 15 years, together almost 20, three kids ages 6,6, and 11. My husband is what I guess you call a functioning alcoholic. He is a professional (although currently laid off which is what is probobly led to this crisis), responsible and most of the time a great father. In any social si...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I just returned from my home group meeting tonight. We honor members' Alanon birthdays during our last meeting of the month, so today was the day I received my three year token. As corny as it sounds, it really does seem like yesterday when I arrived at my first Alanon meeting. I had hit bottom. I was a cry...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH has decided to throw himself into his job since his DUI. He is keeping his distance from me and hasn't made any advances intimately, at all. If I don't approach him for a hug, I wouldn't get one. I had a friend in Al Anon tell me that he's probably just beating himself up so much right now that he does...

Jozie · Jozie

Sorry Its Been awhile again, Just so Much Goin on and Seems to be No End in Sight... I want to Thank ALL of You that Prayed for My Friend Patty that Had Cancer... Her Lord Took Her Home a little over a Week ago, and Tho I Miss her Dearly, What she Taught me these Last 3 years in Al-Anon, I will Hold Dear to My He...

debbiems · debbiems

I need to kick both my adult children out of my home! long story short my oldest is accusing my youngest of stealing from him, he is missing money this morning and swears he didn't loose it at the bar last night while he was out drinking. He believes his little brother took the money this morning while he w...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

Hello Everyone, It has been a minute since I last wrote here, but I guess that is a good thing. I tend to vent on here when i worry about my ex. It has been almost 2 months since it has been over and I never felt better. I have started excersing and losing weight. Getting back into my arts and hobbies and busin...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Update: I did attend my first "real" meeting tonight with my son. We plan to go back. Everyone was very nice and made us feel welcome. Also, I did get the job at the Attorney's office so I am now working two days a week there but I believe it will soon be three days a week which will ease my mind a l...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Just for today, I am choosing to stay married to my AH. I am choosing to be grateful, instead of hurt, that he will not contact me at all this morning...grateful that I will be spared the drama. Today i am choosing to focus on all the positives in my life, to simply accept that I am tired and sore from movin...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok .. I thought I was ready to switch over to a whole month however not yet .. lol. Maybe at 8 weeks I will feel better about it. Long and short of things, my worst fear happened and I had a light bulb moment that I"m going to be ok. The kids are going to be ok too. The kids have been what I'm really strug...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

So happy to have found this discussion board this morning. Won't go into all the details of how I found it but I do believe it was an answered prayer. I have done a lot of searching for information on the internet but I believe I've found what I'm looking for here. My husband and I have been married for 25 y...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

I told "My Story" this last Thursday night at the open AA/Alanon meeting. I just wanted you all to know how enriching this was for me. I was nervous but it just felt so right to do. The members of AA/Alanon want my AH and I to be the speakers at the next roundup. What a compliment! Will we do this...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Wife is out of rehab-I am just an ass to live with. (Preview) Hello all, This is my very first post. I have never had a problem with alcohol. My wife and I had been casual drinkers since we met 7 years ago. Just last summer her drinking got out of control. Very out of control. She went to rehab and is no doing AA and day treatments. While I was trying to be supportive, I...	Cheese	21	961	Mar 8, 2012 by canadianguy
	Coping with the feeling that it's "too late"..... (Preview) What are some of your strategies for dealing with this, as I'm guessing that many of us have felt this at some time. The phrases "it's never too late" or "better late than never", while possibly true, are just to trite to have any significant impact on me. Sometimes it is "...	mjhyankees	9	679	Mar 8, 2012 by Jennifer
	It is acceptable to walk away. It is acceptable to walk away. It is acceptable to walk away. (Preview) One thing that has remained a HUGE trigger for me is when my AH and I are having a "conversation" that is bordering on turning ugly. I have gotten soooo much better at just walking away from those. I refuse to attend the fight. But I invariably end up triggered by my AH's reaction. It enrag...	stephaniej	11	627	Mar 8, 2012 by Michelle814
	My sponsor and I have parted ways (Preview) My sponsor and I have decided to go our separate ways. Officially "for a while" but part of me knows this is permanent. She's got stuff going in her own life right now, and has been drifting further and further from the program... she's been too busy to meet with me for a while, and when we did ma...	atheos	2	424	Mar 8, 2012 by Michelle814
	He says he doesn't have a problem (Preview) This is Emil. I asked my husband last night if he thought he had a drinking problem, He said "no." So if his only motivation is that he is afraid I will get mad it will continue to be an ongoing issue. No wonder he stops for a few months at a time and then starts sneaking again. The longest he s...	emil	11	758	Mar 8, 2012 by emil
	Step Board (Preview) I have a question on the Step board, I see you are on step 8 now and well I am starting with 1. Can I go back and if I have questions bump up the thread? I just kinda feel lost and out of place. Thanks Kat	FreeKat	1	319	Mar 8, 2012 by Oksie
	the legal side of detachment with love (Preview) My AH and i have been living separately for over a year now. He lives in our home and I live 2 miles away. In the last year he has been hospitalized 4 times with drinking/RX drugs related events. (He drinks, he falls, he hurts himself..he drinks too much for too long and someone calls 911) I'm going to my F2...	alexmaui	3	436	Mar 7, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Double Winners 2012 (closed) Double Winner women men closed open Al-Anon one day at a time (Preview) Join Us as we trudge the road of happy destiny! http://alanon.activeboard.com/t15927682/double-winners/Don't Be self-righteous Try to dominate, nag schold and comlain and lose your your temper Try to puch anyone but yourself Keep brin...	joy078	0	8403	Mar 7, 2012 by joy078
	Proud of husbands decision (Preview) couple of things for this post. Firstly, my husbands brothers are all very big drug users, growers, sellers etc. One in particular is not very bright and keeps getting caught. He is looking to going to prison on his next court appearance and he actually thinks he may get sentenced this time. Usuall...	Oksie	1	319	Mar 7, 2012 by FreeKat
	New person (Preview) I haven't been to a meeting yet. My boyfriend drinks quite regularly. He's a binge drinker. He doesn't drink at home but it he stays out until 2 or 4 once a week. He has lots his temper quite a few times. We have gone to councseling for a year. He doesn't get it. The counselor thought it would be wise that I go t...	Leslied9	5	350	Mar 7, 2012 by rehprof
	Knowing that I Did the Right Thing denial (Preview) My AH (we are currently separated) texted me last night and asked me, if I didn't already have plans, if he could take me out to dinner to a very expensive restaurant for my birthday this week. Mind you, I had seen a photo of him a couple of days ago on Facebook of him obviously in a bar, with a huge beer mug in h...	Green Eyes	5	7309	Mar 7, 2012 by stephaniej
	Anger at myself (Preview) Any ESH? I'm really struggling not so much with being angry with other people .. I'm having a hard time because I'm very upset with myself when I don't do what I know I should do!! I am talking emotionally, program and so on. PLUS .. it's that "YOU know better!!!" stuff! Thanks, P :)	Pushka	10	523	Mar 7, 2012 by stephaniej
	as I ponder... (Preview) Not wanting to tell everyone my whole life story but I have been thinking about a lot of things both good & bad about myself & I don't really like who I have become over the years as I am not sure how I can change the behaviors & move on! I have a long list of character defects that sometimes are so...	Hoot Nanny	2	356	Mar 7, 2012 by daisy31
	My Assumption (Preview) I am reading here all the time. Today I read " Alcoholic Husband (AH)" in a post someone made to a newcomer, spelling out the AH. When I saw that before, I always assumed they had a different "AH" word. I guess "AS" means alcoholic son or sister. hmmmmm I am now laughi...	Jill	2	361	Mar 7, 2012 by Oksie
	Thought I would say Hi! (Preview) Well I have been lurking here for a while. I have really enjoyed reading here and it has helped me to know I am not going at this alone. Some back info on me. Been together with AH for 13 yrs, and we should be celebrating our 10 yr wedding anni this July. I say should cause I dont know what is up from down anymore...	FreeKat	5	512	Mar 7, 2012 by Jerry F
	the first person I couldn't trust... (Preview) ... was me As a child I saw things and heard things and experienced things that were totally incongruent. (I am sure we could all agree). There were promises made that weren't kept, which sometimes resulted in me being physically and emotionally hurt. The person that showed me such love and care at t...	Oksie	6	413	Mar 7, 2012 by Oksie
	Thank You (Preview) http://alanon.activeboard.com/t38730205/okay-so-what-can-we-do/	Jackie11	1	329	Mar 7, 2012 by Green Eyes
	If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck... (Preview) then its probably a duck. For those of you who don't know me, or I haven't PM'd.... its me.... Linda.... O, I changed my profile name Asmany of you may be aware, I have been doing ALOT of work on myself through the psychologist. Alot of FOO work and childhood stuff. I have been doing DBT to address issu...	Oksie	8	788	Mar 6, 2012 by Pushka
	"Wisdom is Better than Silver or Gold" (Preview) We adopted this cat two months (ish) back. She is pregnant. She is blind. and I am allergic to her. She is the sweetest creature I have ever seen. I love her so much. I just want to pick her up, hold her, stroke her little beard chin, cuddle her, and show her how much I love her. But I can't because I will sneez...	Michelle814	4	384	Mar 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	One Month Update (Preview) Well, as of March 3 it has been one month since my AH's last explosive relapse. He has found a new counselor, I have removed the gun from our home and have an exit plan should I need it. We went to his weekly AA meeting on Saturday night where he celebrated one month of sobriety. He is reading some new literat...	surfgirl123	6	444	Mar 6, 2012 by Oksie
	Communication issue (Preview) So I am learning in the alanon meetings how to not give advice but to just share my ES&H. It is actually quite a relief to not have to come up with a plan on what someone else should do. I am however struggling with how to communicate with friends (who are not in the program) who come to me with wanting m...	daisy31	5	590	Mar 6, 2012 by daisy31
	Trying to decide how to handle a relatively small issue (Preview) And of course, I thought to bring it to you all, because you are all such a great touchstone for me. Although my journey is very much "three steps forward, two steps back," I do feel like overall I am in a much better place than I was in a year ago. As I get better at turning my AH over to his HP and d...	stephaniej	7	744	Mar 6, 2012 by Oksie
	?? Confusion After First Meeting - HELP!! (Preview) Hope I haven't accidentally erased my first comment where I describe my situation. I attended my first face to face meeting last night although I have been reading here for a couple of weeks. After reading the literature today, I realized that I have been handling some things in the wrong way and wonde...	WornOutMrsFixIt	5	594	Mar 6, 2012 by Jerry F
	Need esh badly! (Preview) My a/a's including my son, daughter, my daughter's boyfriend, and my daughters adult son, one of them stole a gold diamond ring and a pair of gold ear rings, I'm totally heardbroken, I loved those ear rings. I got over that, thinking God doesn't want me loving material things so much. The heart break...	Highlyfavored	8	602	Mar 6, 2012 by Jerry F
	hello (Preview) Just want to write and say hello to everyone. I hope you all know what it means to have this support, when I need it, at my finger tips. I feel so very grateful for all I have been blessed with in my life. I feel very strong right now and as if the winds are blowing in a new direction for me. I think of Mary Popp...	Michelle814	7	554	Mar 5, 2012 by Jackie11
	Combing through (Preview) http://alanon.activeboard.com/t46121273/inspired-by-old-post/	Jackie11	9	513	Mar 5, 2012 by whitedove
	Advice please on whether I should detach and how (Preview) My favorite and I are both codependents and adult children. I have not been able to be close to for years because we're both sick, basically. I am also an alcoholic. I have stayed sober for years and have done an inordinate amount of hard work on myself in AA and have come out of denial abuot being the scape...	WorkingThroughIt	13	687	Mar 5, 2012 by Oksie
	The lie of drinking (Preview) I posted this on the AA board but wanted to post it here too because I know some of you can relate because you've seen this to be true in your qualifiers. I love this poem though it makes me very sad: I drank for happiness and became unhappy; I drank for joy and became miserable. I drank to be out-going and be...	pinkchip	8	538	Mar 5, 2012 by Jackie11
	It's not easy (Preview) It's not easy turning an alcoholic over to his/her Higher Power. But, there comes a point where it is the only option left. I had to try all the other options first. It's who I am and what I do. After trying everything, I finally know no human power can release my AH from his addiction. It's painful because...	Very Very Tired	10	492	Mar 4, 2012 by 1 day at a time
	Online meetings and Sponsorship (Preview) Hi I am new, and cannot get to f2f Alanon meetings. Can I get a sponsor online and are there meetings here? Thanks Lady Bug	Lady Bug	4	425	Mar 4, 2012 by maryjane
	ESH on post-detachment train wreckage? (Preview) First, most importantly: I've been reading almost all of the posts but not responding, because I want to write a supportive response to each one! There isn't enough time for that, so I've just been paying attention instead. This is rather flakey, but, seriously, you guys are on my mind and I've been qu...	rara avis	11	692	Mar 4, 2012 by Oksie
	true to self (Preview) Have any off you seen the film eat love pray with Julia roberts in.? I love this film it is what I want need. To build a relationship with myself and my higher power. To follow the guidance from within be true to myself instead of focusing on everything and everyone but me. Fear drags me back to dysfunct...	Tracy	4	415	Mar 4, 2012 by Oksie
	Boyfriend still in denial (Preview) Hello everyone, I truly hope I can get some some feedback on my issue here. I broke up with my alcoholic boyfriend just yesterday. We had only been dating for a little over five months but I soon realized that his social drinking was much more than he claimed. He never got violent or physically abusive in...	FreeSpirit67	7	483	Mar 3, 2012 by whitedove
	Now I know what a midlife crisis feels like. (Preview) Diagnosed myself after reading an article and it said everything that I was feeling. Of course I FEEL like I've got good reasons (debt, bad marriage, kid having problems, bored with my job which is becoming more stressful each year). But whatever the reasons, i sit here looking back on my life and fee...	mjhyankees	5	584	Mar 3, 2012 by rara avis
	The second part of the serenity prayer (Preview) At a meeting last night, someone read the second part of the serenity prayer, which I had never heard before. Not sure if this is common knowledge or not. Actually the Wikipedia page for the Serenity Prayer is really fascinating: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer Anyway, here is the...	usedtobeanyer	5	2997	Mar 3, 2012 by rara avis
	al anon changed me (Preview) Recently I started "seeing" a man who has 10 years of sobriety. Normally I am such a sucker for lonely needy men. Lately I have been asserting my boundaries a lot. My sponsor instructed me pretty firmly if they cross your boundaries get out of there. Needless to say this guy in his "...	orchidlover	5	504	Mar 3, 2012 by orchidlover
	help please- the positive side of ambiguity? (Preview) Today, I was asked to consider the positive side of ambiguity. I'd appreciate help, please. Thank you.	bud	10	887	Mar 3, 2012 by bud
	Questioning my son's PO (Preview) Today my 22yrs AS PO got a OK from the court to give him a probationary licenes. Here I thought I was doing good working my steps but I have to say this brings out my every want to "control". He was lucky on his 4th DUI and the court sent him to treatment rather than 5 years in prision but of coarse th...	debbiems	3	494	Mar 3, 2012 by hotrod
	Far to serious .. (Preview) Lately, I have noticed that I have been far to serious about my recovery program and I had a good giggle the other day. I figured I would share as my children are constant reminders of what is and is not important. #1 daughter apparently had enough of #1 son and decided to get even with him. I was in the kit...	Pushka	7	520	Mar 3, 2012 by Jerry F
	You don't have to move fast, just keep movin' forward. (Preview) You don't have to move fast, just keep movin' forward. This isn't from the alanon literature but I sure like it and wanted to share. It reminds me that I can go at my own pace. I can grow and learn and make mistakes at my own pace. I don't have to rush myself anymore. Before Alanon, I thought I had to rush e...	daisy31	4	400	Mar 3, 2012 by ilovedogs
	The Three A's? (Preview) My sponsor sent me an email today and wrote to me that "the three A's are alive and well in your life." I believe she meant this as a postive thing. I'm not able to reach her today, so could someone remind me what the "three A's" are? I'm familiar with the "three C's", but I...	Green Eyes	6	2414	Mar 2, 2012 by Green Eyes
	Felony charges on husband (Preview) My husband stole from me one too many times today. There have been a hundred days just like today that were followed with threats of calling the police, some yelling, some pouting, and then I chalked it up to being just another day in the life of me- and went on with things. Today I realized that if anyone...	respect	9	821	Mar 2, 2012 by Jerry F
	Today's reminder, Courage to Change (Preview) From the Today's Reminder for March 1 from Courage to Change: "If we understand, things are just as they are. If we do not understand, things are just as they are"--Zen Proverb I related so much to this, specifically with the need to know if my wife has drank or not. But knowing doesn't change...	usedtobeanyer	4	874	Mar 2, 2012 by Michelle814
	well...I got out of bed by noon! (Preview) I hope I am not going through some kind of cycle cause today among other days I am having trouble getting out of bed! I don't feel depressed but sometimes I just want to stay in bed. I don't really want to analyze my life--I really need to talk about it w/ a professional maybe--nah, I think I will pass! I am su...	Hoot Nanny	4	456	Mar 1, 2012 by orchidlover
	High/Low (Preview) I knew that just having the conversation about needing help and a 3 day detox meant nothing more then the words said. I know this. I know that life now is so different because of Al-Anon. I know that reading and researching have allowed me to grow and let go. What I struggle with, is what is just the reality...	Jackie11	6	414	Mar 1, 2012 by stephaniej
	Spectacular crash and burn (Preview) Despite my optimism and healthy outlook this morning, when my AH called this afternoon on his way to work, it was obvious that he was in a terrible mood. Presumably this was because, once again, he slept away most of the day after drinking last night, and was not able to complete the large majority of the...	stephaniej	9	486	Mar 1, 2012 by stephaniej
	Really need some ESH! (Preview) Well, my husband was physically abusive a secret A and addict. I had to get a protective order because of that. I have had a protective order for a while, I had to go to court for it on Monday just to make sure it stayed in place. I have also filed for divorce and my lawyer has been talking to my A. My lawyer...	ttpurtee	5	528	Mar 1, 2012 by pinkchip
	Lisa's New Normal (Preview) "Worry is the darkroom where negatives are developed." - Unknown I think this quote should be a new al-anon slogan! I don't know how many times I've "projected" about things the alcoholic was going to do (or someone else for that matter) that never occured. I've wasted so many...	Overcome	2	487	Mar 1, 2012 by Pushka
	Anxiety Attacks, Whining Titty Baby! (Preview) Yep, thats me! The guy that so many think of as big bad John, the "GetterDone" guy, the one that so many come to when their ass is in a vise and their head is stuck in their ass... I have been to the ER twice in the past week for anxiety attacks. At first I went thinking I was having respirory problems, couldn...	John	19	1124	Mar 1, 2012 by Doozy
	professional interventionist?? (Preview) I have been married 15 years, together almost 20, three kids ages 6,6, and 11. My husband is what I guess you call a functioning alcoholic. He is a professional (although currently laid off which is what is probobly led to this crisis), responsible and most of the time a great father. In any social si...	nunu102	8	664	Mar 1, 2012 by hotrod
	Reflection on My 3 Year Alanon Birthday (Preview) I just returned from my home group meeting tonight. We honor members' Alanon birthdays during our last meeting of the month, so today was the day I received my three year token. As corny as it sounds, it really does seem like yesterday when I arrived at my first Alanon meeting. I had hit bottom. I was a cry...	Green Eyes	6	423	Mar 1, 2012 by Jerry F
	Feeling neglected by my AH (Preview) My AH has decided to throw himself into his job since his DUI. He is keeping his distance from me and hasn't made any advances intimately, at all. If I don't approach him for a hug, I wouldn't get one. I had a friend in Al Anon tell me that he's probably just beating himself up so much right now that he does...	ilovedogs	8	688	Mar 1, 2012 by Pushka
	Stugglin Again at Loss.... :'( (Preview) Sorry Its Been awhile again, Just so Much Goin on and Seems to be No End in Sight... I want to Thank ALL of You that Prayed for My Friend Patty that Had Cancer... Her Lord Took Her Home a little over a Week ago, and Tho I Miss her Dearly, What she Taught me these Last 3 years in Al-Anon, I will Hold Dear to My He...	Jozie	6	606	Mar 1, 2012 by Pushka
	Panic-- any ideas would be welcomed (Preview) I need to kick both my adult children out of my home! long story short my oldest is accusing my youngest of stealing from him, he is missing money this morning and swears he didn't loose it at the bar last night while he was out drinking. He believes his little brother took the money this morning while he w...	debbiems	6	532	Mar 1, 2012 by debbiems
	The brief encounter with my past (Preview) Hello Everyone, It has been a minute since I last wrote here, but I guess that is a good thing. I tend to vent on here when i worry about my ex. It has been almost 2 months since it has been over and I never felt better. I have started excersing and losing weight. Getting back into my arts and hobbies and busin...	Julie3310	4	408	Feb 29, 2012 by abbyal
	A Newbie's Update (Preview) Update: I did attend my first "real" meeting tonight with my son. We plan to go back. Everyone was very nice and made us feel welcome. Also, I did get the job at the Attorney's office so I am now working two days a week there but I believe it will soon be three days a week which will ease my mind a l...	WornOutMrsFixIt	6	563	Feb 29, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Just for Today (Preview) Just for today, I am choosing to stay married to my AH. I am choosing to be grateful, instead of hurt, that he will not contact me at all this morning...grateful that I will be spared the drama. Today i am choosing to focus on all the positives in my life, to simply accept that I am tired and sore from movin...	stephaniej	4	458	Feb 29, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Big 4 weeks (Preview) Ok .. I thought I was ready to switch over to a whole month however not yet .. lol. Maybe at 8 weeks I will feel better about it. Long and short of things, my worst fear happened and I had a light bulb moment that I"m going to be ok. The kids are going to be ok too. The kids have been what I'm really strug...	Pushka	6	528	Feb 29, 2012 by danni
	New Kid on the Block (Preview) So happy to have found this discussion board this morning. Won't go into all the details of how I found it but I do believe it was an answered prayer. I have done a lot of searching for information on the internet but I believe I've found what I'm looking for here. My husband and I have been married for 25 y...	WornOutMrsFixIt	13	642	Feb 29, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	My Story (Preview) I told "My Story" this last Thursday night at the open AA/Alanon meeting. I just wanted you all to know how enriching this was for me. I was nervous but it just felt so right to do. The members of AA/Alanon want my AH and I to be the speakers at the next roundup. What a compliment! Will we do this...	Sweet Stanley	3	473	Feb 29, 2012 by daisy31
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.