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patience? rsvp
(Preview)
im finally after a long time feeling quite content with my life im making alot of changes in the right direction and growing as a person.the only thing thats missing is the relationship i wish to have with my recovering ah.i feel really good about myself,and really good about the person who he has grown...
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1 day at a time
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7
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599
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Why I feel the need to know. And why my A feels the need to keep it to herself.
(Preview)
Ok. Here is the question. I am in a 5 year relationship with my A. We have been riding the Alcoholic roller coaster for the last two hellashious years. She is just now starting to get serious. She has a good sponsor and she goes to meeting everyday. She was a year sober, but one day decided to drink again. Si...
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Hurtbeyondwords
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12
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7223
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drinking after rehab?
(Preview)
Was married to an alcholic who went to rehab a year ago is drinking again. We have 2 young children and are in the middle of a custody battle. He continues to drink when the children are there but states that he hasn't gotten drunk since rehab. Even while this is going on he and his girlfriend continue to d...
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Sara1976
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16
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6279
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I don't know if I'm being crazy...
(Preview)
The job I have now is my first "normal" (fulltime, in an office, etc.) job. My boss finds problems with everything I do, and is pretty harsh when he corrects me for them (Never just tells me what I did wrong, always throws in something like "I expect ____. If you don't like it, then this pr...
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atheos
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12
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567
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family group with daughter appropriate?
(Preview)
Hello, This is my first time here and I need some guidance. My husband is high functioning alcoholic. Our 20 yr old has always been bothered by her dad's drinking but is away at school now. Our 17 yr old who never seemed bothered about it came to me the other night to tell me how much it upsets her and had ev...
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10jq1830
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5
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368
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Personal Privacy in a relationship - thoughts on boundaries
(Preview)
I'd be interested in hearing others thoughts, experiences, perspectives on personal privacy in a relationship. I have come to learn that not everyone has the same view of this... As I've matured I've come to accept and value the need for personal privacy. I have times I just need to vent. I need to g...
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amills4294
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11
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629
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Don't Tell Me, Show Me
(Preview)
This one is a bit long, but I'm feeling a bit longwinded.When I fell in love with my wife Nancy, I forgot to ask her if she had children. Well, she had told me she was married twice before and I recall her mentioning she had a few sons and a few daughters but I naturally assumed they were all grown up, moved ou...
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Wolfie55
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8
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511
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First Al-Anon Meeting
(Preview)
I am going to attend my first al-anon meeting tonight. I am excited and scared all at the same time. I have been extremely depressed lately. I am hoping these meetings will help me out of this depression. I never really wanted to go to al-anon meetings, but I think I need them. This is not something I...
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ttpurtee
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11
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472
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emil feeling better and ready for the work
(Preview)
I went to my second therapy session and before I went in I thought "why am I here." After talking for a while I realized I am here- for me. I want to feel stronger for me. I know that I am often intiminated in many relatonships. When any type of conflict occurs I often pretend its not happen...
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emil
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4
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245
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He Left, Day 2
(Preview)
No, he didn't call...didn't text. And I honestly don't care. Grateful, actually. I worked from home today while my daughter & son played quietly in their rooms. I'M FREE!!!! My daughter & I had a slumber party last night...we all went toy shopping after work...and there was no negative jerk...
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Ariel
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6
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423
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Frusterated with the selfishness of alcoholism
(Preview)
Although I am content where I am, staying in one room at my parents is starting to get frusterating. There is no space to think, no room to move and living out of boxes isn't fun. Meanwhile the exAH is living in our house with 3 bedrooms and lots of space. He has still locked me out and I'm only allowed supe...
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TLD
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8
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1470
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What I still struggle with
(Preview)
I don't struggle to not drink so much, but I have gravitated over to Alanon quite a bit for 1 main reason lately. I can't change other people. How much does this suck? I thought a therapist was supposed to be able to do that and help people that way. Intellectually I know even therapist are only vehicles...
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pinkchip
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24
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667
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Sloganizing....
(Preview)
Practice, Practice, Practice...I wasn't standing still I was going crazy!! I wasn't doing anything and that was the problem I was just doing crazy or rather letting crazy do me. It happens and finally I got soooo sick and tired of being sick and tired I just went with sloganizing...thinking, feel...
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Jerry F
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7
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562
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Needing some help/guidance.
(Preview)
Hi guys and gals. I am new here, and I am seeking some guidance/help with some issues I am having with my SO in her recovery program. Obviously I do not want to air dirty laundry in a public place, so via PM's, and or phone would be best. I believe I have enough reasons to be worried, but would like unbiased co...
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happygolucky
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5
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344
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lcoholic at he bus stop
(Preview)
I have lived in a asmall part of Liverpool in Englad all my life. for a couple of years there has been a local alcoholic who is a nuisance but harless who lives on the streets so I thought. local people ive him clothes etc once a tent in the winter. I went to the bus stop before to go to my meeting, I have split...
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Tracy
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5
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415
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Well, He Left
(Preview)
My ABF quit drinking for a week and a half, and is still the same, mean person he ever was. He refused to go to AA. I was lifting heavy boxes for goodwill into my car & he walked right past me...twice. Then he huffed & puffed That Id asked for help. He asked me later 'what my problem was' & I calmy t...
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Ariel
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10
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443
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relief of control in alanon
(Preview)
I have been thinking lately about how before Alanon I had SO many self help books. I was constantly looking for serenity in those books and it left me with only despair and exhaustion. For awhile I was even trying to do affirmations and the law of attraction. If I would say an affirmation then I relly d...
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daisy31
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4
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301
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learning i dont have to be perfect.
(Preview)
well im finally learning i dont have to try to be perfect.when ive set myself up by trying to be perfect i only set myself up to fail and then feel bad when i can not reach that goal.now i will do the best and can do and that is easy.and if that is not good enough for someone else that is their problem.i will do my...
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1 day at a time
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4
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321
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Just Friends - An Al-Anon/AA Love Story
(Preview)
One of the many gifts I have received in my almost 12 years of sobriety is the work I was allowed to do at a local transition home for recovering alcoholics and addicts. I have no formal background or training in the field of alcoholism unless you count my 30 years field experience. I guess I just have a wa...
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Wolfie55
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7
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507
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it is getting easier...I guess!
(Preview)
It is getting easier to function these days w/o my dad & step-mom. I still want to pick up the phone & call them. I want to be there where they are sometimes too. I guess God has other plans for me to stick around & maybe touch another life. I often wonder what it would have been like if I could hav...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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360
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Serenityville vs. Crazytown
(Preview)
As I've mentioned on this board many times, I left my AH in the spring of last year. We've been married for almost 30 years. I'm so much more at peace living in my simple one bedroom apartment, just two miles from work and walking distance to pretty much everywhere I want or need to go. I can sleep at night. I...
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Green Eyes
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11
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342
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Whackamole, Happy Birthday !!
(Preview)
Hey Whackamole............:) whats shakin girl ! Happy Happy Birthday !! Havent seen you for a while, hope your having a great day. May all your dreams come true in Extra Large :) Hope to see you soon........
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DreamXL
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2
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234
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In a GOOD place today
(Preview)
Woke up feeling so much better it wasn't funny. Im almost elated. I know I have to bring that down a bit and get more 'centred' Yesterday, after I had a realisation about the triggers and where that awful feeling came from..... I ate. and ate. and ate. well yo uget the picture. Mostly bad food. I gue...
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Oksie
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3
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209
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not in a good place today
(Preview)
HI guys It's me Linda. I know I said I wasn't going to post for a while, but I just can't help myself. Today.... I am not in a good place in my own head. I just need to write for a bit cos its hard to form the words in real speak. Today... I woke up hating every cell in my massive body. I did not want to wake up. I do...
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Oksie
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18
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544
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Need to hear Experience - Alcoholic daughter wants to move back
(Preview)
I have been going to Al Anon for about 1 year. Long story short : we have a beautiful, sweet alcoholic daughter who has been been in addiction half her life. Drugs at 15, stopped at 20 then picked up a bottle and has not put it down. I dont have to tell you what we have been through - we could have paid cash for an...
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LeenieBeanie
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5
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838
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just a moment to reflect...
(Preview)
Only have a few minutes so here it goes! I am feeling better. I am still growing! I am still changing--I will never be perfect. The only thing constant is change. I hope I am not the same person this time next year. I hope that the truth will set me free. I hope you all will feel a sense of growth in me. I don't fe...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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254
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Just a few random thoughts I have...
(Preview)
Just a few things I am loving about alanon today...... People look happy to see me at the meetings (which is new to me!) :) They like to give hugs and it feels safe to do so. People are authentic and open about their issues People like to get together afterwards just to hang out at a restaurant and everyone i...
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daisy31
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5
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333
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Al-ateen Sponsors
(Preview)
I originally posted this on another board. Maybe it may be more appropriate for on here. Hi,I was wondering if you could help me.Are people who go to aa allowed to be sponsors for al-ateen? I have an issue with a male who sponsors our children's al-ateen group. He has made inappropriate comments...
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Tracey C
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4
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401
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A Cat Story
(Preview)
For the benefit of those of you who don't know me very well, I've been coming to MIP on and off since 2005. I'm what is known in program lingo as a double winner, meaning I am in both Al-Anon and AA. I only mention that in case there are newcomers in here who may be confused by my outgoing outspoken and often ou...
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Wolfie55
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9
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437
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ESH appreciated for how to handle this?
(Preview)
My AH sat next to me on the couch tonight and cried. He cried because he can't stop and doesn't know how and doesn't know what to do. This is not the first time this conversation has been had. Tonight he was asking me to help him find a 3 day detox program because he can't do this on his own and doesn't believe j...
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Jackie11
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13
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559
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Just the Effects ...
(Preview)
I've been Really looking at my past however many years .. One of Alanon's Promises is that we will learn to perceive Reality .. I survived alcoholism by fantasizing in a denialish sort of way .. copied behaviors by telling myself it wasn't this way or that way .. seeing the cycle and how it passed down to m...
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MeTwo2
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9
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444
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Addiction is Not Hopeless
(Preview)
http://www.cnn.com/2012/02/22/opinion/brooks-addiction-problem/index.html?hpt=hp_t3
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Green Eyes
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4
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5124
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Releasing my anger
(Preview)
I'm still angry about the fallout from my AH's DUI from last Thursday. I can't seem to shake it. I am withholding affection from him, being curt and short with my words, and I am keeping my distance. We've had a few good talks this week and he's doing a great job in taking care of his side of the street rig...
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ilovedogs
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10
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736
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wreck of a day: when to interfere?
(Preview)
I have two things on my mind today. They are seeming so big right now that I feel like my world is caving in. I tried to remember some slogins to help me relax. I had to think hard to pull a few out but I'm now trying to rememember that this too shall pass..... But in the meantime I need to tell someone what's goi...
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respect
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12
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641
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Help: Postponing a Wedding
(Preview)
Hey everyone I am new to this message board, but hopefully this is somewhere I can get some advice. I am engaged to be married to an alcoholic. I know whole heartedly that he's an alcoholic, but I'm not sure he's ready to admit it. Right now he is in a detox center withdrawing from alcohol. This is the fir...
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Giggly423
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15
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561
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High functioning AH ... feel alone.
(Preview)
My AH has been a heavy drinker since we met 12 years ago. I always thought it was because we were young and having fun. We had our first child and I noticed he still drank, a lot. We had another child. He still drank a lot. But he never drank where it interfered with work or where anyone else knew about it...
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CWren
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15
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576
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Do you know where to find this?
(Preview)
Hi, I'm looking for something I read awhile ago. It spoke about; Sometimes the answer to our Prayers is to "Wait" & that "God is Working on Something" I don't know if it is 1 or 2 readings. I think it's either in: ODAT, COURAGE TO CHANGE or AS WE UNDERSTAND I can't find it anyw...
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kickster
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2
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340
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Afraid
(Preview)
This is the 1st time I've acutally reached out and spoke- about the pain, frustration, and fear I've felt for years. My AH and I've been married 13yrs, two beautiful kids but the drinking has been the dark cloud hanging over us. The past year has by far been the best, only because I did quit trying to cont...
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Hope2000
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7
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398
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Rock Logic
(Preview)
I'm in my second marriage. By the time I married my first wife, I'd been in intimate relationships with maybe 6 women. I was married to her for 18 years. I was only unfaithful twice so that makes a total of eight relationships. I was single for 4 years. By the time I met my second wife I had made up for lost tim...
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Wolfie55
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6
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521
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Please Daddy Don't Cry
(Preview)
One day a young girl asked her daddy if they could go for a walk in the park like they used to do. Her daddy said, "not now princess I'm very busy." He wasnt really busy, he was drinking. Next day the young girl asked her daddy if they could go to the circus like they used to do. Her daddy said, "...
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Wolfie55
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4
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442
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Look before you leap
(Preview)
The ex A was and will be the last relationship where I jump in and then blame him for not being who I needed. My lifelong pattern has been to rush into relationships believing that any relationship I have will be changed by the superhuman force of my love. Granted there are many things in my life I can't cha...
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orchidlover
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6
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348
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He's encouraging me? That's a switch!
(Preview)
So everything's going really great! He's clean and sober for close to 4 months now. He's eating healthy and working out because he started gaining weight after quitting everything. He's excited his blood pressure is down and he just wants to a better, healthier person. Well that used to be my thing...
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stefani74
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5
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360
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Emotionally exhausted
(Preview)
Exhausting conversation with AH. I am reminding myself not to fight my HP's plan. Surprise endings: my HP's speciality (thanks Pushka!). Hey, HP, this better be one helluva a happy ending because right now it just sucks. I keep reminding myself there is something greater than myself. There is a big...
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Very Very Tired
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13
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715
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ESH needed please
(Preview)
Well, I have been going to Al-Anon meetings and I have discovered that everything that you are not suppose to do when you are married to an A. I did. I feel bad about that and I have already filed for divorce. However, I don't really want a divorce. I love my husband and married him with forever in mind....
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ttpurtee
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7
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398
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Took a long, hard look at my motives
(Preview)
Tonight I noticed that one corner of our apartment smells like beer. Obviously, either my AH or his friend, who had been staying with us, spilled some beer over there. We are moving out of this apartment in a week. Our new place does not have carpetl Oooo, I so wanted to send a text message to my AH. I e...
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stephaniej
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8
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338
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What to talk about?
(Preview)
I have a 26 y.o. daughter who lives with an alcoholic. I suspect she is one also. Her boyfriend just lost his job due to drinking and was ordered to undergo in-patient treatment. He has not done so. I talk to my daughter and we just talk about superficial things. Sometimes I think I don't really know...
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robind78
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4
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565
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the one little Al Anon saying......
(Preview)
Court went fine, ez. Tenant made a fool of himself, when it was over he owed me money and was livid. He argued with the judge, showed he was lying about one thing after another. When my friends asked me,"What made him argue, and how come he cannot see the damage he has done." thank you al anon. &q...
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Debilyn
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6
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356
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The Queen of Mistakes
(Preview)
About a month or so ago I wrote an email to my brother explaining to him the circumstances that my spouse was moving back home and that I was doing it primarily for our daughter... I guess at the time I felt I had the need to justify my decision and of course Im sure I shed my spouse not in the best of light. My b...
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amills4294
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10
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569
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On the Subject of Trust
(Preview)
Bernie here. Grateful member of Al-Anon for 16 years and recovered alcoholic of 14 years, whichever you prefer. I do a lot of sponsorship. I used to be old school, you know, men sponsor men, women sponsor women, but lately I don't much care what your gender is. If you're willing to do the work, I'm willin...
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TwistedServant
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6
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457
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Celebrating Every Day Victories
(Preview)
I feel proud of myself this morning... and happy... I feel very happy: My husband said goodbye to me this morning and I felt an urge to ask if he was going to his outpatient group, but I did not say a word, because it is none of my business. He ended up saying he was headed there on his own to me.. Then he talked...
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Michelle814
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6
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358
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Locked Cell Phone
(Preview)
Things have been quiet since the last outburst. I have been trying to focus on myself. He has been fairly quiet and agreeable. Then last night, I get home from work, he says he is really tired and going to bed at 6pm (usually a sign he has been drinking), I don't comment on it, tell him to get some rest. Whil...
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surfgirl123
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4
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392
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Thanks For Prayers & Support
(Preview)
Thank you all for your Prayers & Support Test came back NO Cancer . But I do have to have surgery to remove a tumor that is non-cancer. So relieved inhale, exhale. Peace & Love DEB
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peacewithin
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6
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254
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It's all ****ed up... (ESH needed)
(Preview)
The phrase (that I wanted to put in a work email, but didn't) "Never before has a job made me feel so much like jumping off a parking structure" sums up the last month quite nicely. I would NEVER actually do it, but the fact that there was an afternoon where I looked over the rail and thought &quo...
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atheos
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7
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488
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Carrying My Mat
(Preview)
Hi (((Family))), I got a little deeper bit of understanding this Sunday morning, sitting in a meeting of my "other" program. The priest was sharing about a story of Jesus healing a paralytic person who was carried to Him by his family. Jesus heals the paralytic person then tells him to, s...
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david62
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8
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424
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It works if you work it...
(Preview)
Last night right as I was arriving home from job 2 I received a text from my MIL. She was talking about how she needed to change her views and stop being so judgemental. How she needs to change some things and basically asking that we pray for her. She sends these type texts to me, my AH and my SIL sometimes an...
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Jackie11
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6
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328
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F2F Alanon meetings
(Preview)
really really enjoyed my f2f alanon meeting last night. I can't even begin to tell you how much I enjoyed it. I would take up the rest of message boards. I felt a lot of peace at the meeting. Unbelieveable!! I felt less crazy! which is always a good thing. I feel like texting my AH and telling him...
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ttpurtee
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7
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321
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How to handle family dynamics?
(Preview)
So I talked to my sister who I haven't talked to in a few months. I fear she may be developing an alcohol problem just as so many of my other family members have-she recently told my other sister that she is a functioning alcoholic and laughed about it. I have been working on detaching and using the sloga...
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daisy31
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7
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409
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3x5 Roller Coaster Ride
(Preview)
I can humbly accept God's will for me now. I feel it flowing through me now. I can put my hands up and enjoy the roller coaster ride that is life as I know it, which is not much. At my home group last Thursday, a dear friend I have made in the program happened upon a 3x5 index card holding the page for one of the...
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Michelle814
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7
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610
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Whitney Houston and understanding addiction as a disease.
(Preview)
I got into a "discussion" on facebook today with a person who was posting hate posts about Whitney Houston and how we were giving her more attention than she deserved. This person was pointing out how we as a country needed to get our priorites straight and value and recognize our fallen sol...
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Overcome
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11
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849
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The beloved addict in my life
(Preview)
I sat here for a long time staring at the smilie box and the empty text box. Here I am, about to write an Al-Anon family group post about someone in my life who is an addict beginning recovery. This is not what I thought I'd be doing on November 17, 2011. I don't know what I figured I would be doing, but you kno...
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Skylark
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14
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635
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