The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is my first time here and I need some guidance.
My husband is high functioning alcoholic. Our 20 yr old has always been bothered by her dad's drinking but is away at school now. Our 17 yr old who never seemed bothered about it came to me the other night to tell me how much it upsets her and had even gone to her guidance counselor.
I suggested al-teen to her but if she is afraid to go by herself; would it be appropriate to go to a family group meeting with her? Do parents and teens go to meetings together?
Is the family group meeting the same as Al-anon?
My daughter says that his drinking doesn't seem to bother me anymore but I think I've just stopped fighting with him about it because I realize he needs to change. I can't make him. Now I'm worried that my daughters think I'm dismissing that there is a problem and I want to encourage her to attend an Al-teen meeting which is right down the street but if she won't go by herself there is an Al-Anon meeting at the same time and place. So...is it appropriate?
In one of the groups I attend there a 16 year old who is a regular. She occasionally brings a parent, but I believe she started coming because a parent was in AA next door.
As a young woman, I can tell you that your daughter is probably hurting and scared. It probably took a lot of courage for her to say something to you. Good for her!
I think it's definitely appropriate to support her at an al-anon meeting. You don't necessarily have to go to your regular group or say anything; just your presence would be showing you care.
I think its appropriate to bring a 17 with you to the meetings. I hope your 20 yr old goes to al-anon as well even if she does not live with the alcoholic any longer, its a family disease.
__________________
Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
Alateen meetings are closed to adults , you would have to talk to the sponsor to see if you can sit in the first meeting with her , the teens will decide if you can be there .. It is ok to take daughter to Al-Anon with you for a first meeting but find separate meetings , often our kids are more angry at the non drinker than they are at the alcoholic , you both need space and a safe place to share with out hurting each others feelings , Just my opinion Louise
What is a family group meeting? It obviously is different than AlaTeen. Not familiar with the family group one, or is that an after care part of treatment? Thanks for the enlightenment. Mom, kudos to you to go with daughter to her first meeting! I would NEVER had gone by myself as a teen, just wouldn't have happened.
