Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am less than 2 months from my move and haven't set up my job or house yet and am lookinglike crazy. All the rentals I call on are wanting to be rented out by May 1 or won't take my dog. I have to stay low so there aren't many and after the divorce I gave up my horses, my house and so much material stuff I will not gi...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Hey all. I wanted to publicly apologize for arguing with mods on this board. It usually takes me a day or two to realize when I acted like a big jerk. Even if I was right about some of my points (which is questionable), Who cares? It is not appropriate to argue with folks that are doing service free of ch...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I see the step board discussions here. do you do the 12 Traditions as well. It would certainly be interesting to see something like that. just food for thought......

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was just thinking that I am still blessed even when I don't feel it or see it! I deserve every blesssing that I receive. Why not me? I am a child of God who is not junk! I have purpose & a real reason to be here. I hope you all know how much you are needed & loved. I have come a long way even before I starte...

robin91 · robin91

Hi, all - I'm a first time poster. My AH and I were just divorced in January. In 2 days it will be final. Over the past few years he was addicted to heroin (and kicked), put our home into forclosure (that I prevented by liquidating retirement funds) and is now drinking almost daily. When we appeared...

pineapple · pineapple

I haven't been here lately as much as I have in the past, or as much as I would like to. I've been dog/house sitting for some friends who are out of the country. But I'm not comfortable leaving my home completely so I've been going back and forth in taxis with food, clothes, and dogs between friend's house i...

living for me · living for me

I've recently (after 3 long years) decided to separate from my husband for 3 months. This has been a decision that is not at all easy to come to for me. I'm a SHM to 2 small kids with 5 pets. Completly financially dependent on my husband for the most part. In any case, after so many years of trying to keep my fa...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Does anyone have experience or thoughts on telling your boss about a spouse's alcoholism? I have an excellent relationship with my boss and have worked with him for nearly 15 years. I'm considering telling him what is going on just so he is aware that I may need to take time out of the office here and ther...

GeneralLee · GeneralLee

Love and hugs to all ya'll. =) Just a page from my diary... 20120417: She bought a bottle of rum yesterday. Told me that she spilt some of it to hide that she drank it. She puked at about 8:20 and went to bed at 8:30. Today, the bottle was ½ full at aobut 10:30 this morning. By 3:00 it was gone except for 1 or...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I just wanted to say one more thing before I peel my eyelids off the computer screen. Thank you to all my friends, especially the ones I didn't know I had until just now. I was feeling a little...I don't know...like I didn't belong. And someone noticed that I was feeling that way and we chit-chatted for a b...

I am lost · I am lost

Will I KNOW, really KNOW when it's time to leave my AH? Will something come over me and I will just know? An epiphany maybe?

member922 · member922

Can someone explain to me the role of a sponsor? I don't know what I would say to one or what the sponsor would do for me. I feel like I can benefit from a therapist, but what does this person do? How do I qualify for one? What would I say to this person? I am not ready for the steps yet. Do they try to convince...

bettyboop · bettyboop

I'm not sure i understand the whole "not having ANY expectations" part. In my situation I certainly have very specific expectations from my alcoholic bf. I think they fall in line with boundaries. Help me understand this...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Last night I arrived at my meeting and as I sat down I asked HP to allow me to learn and to help me share something that might help others. Before the program started the shoe incident came to my mind. Easter weekend on Easter Sunday I got my sdaughter bathed and curled her hair and then it was time to get dres...

Tigger · Tigger

I've just had a really horrible and upsetting experience with a sponsor. I have been coming to alanon just over a year and had the sponsor since november. I am an acoa and don't trust easily (or trust the wrong people!) I have taken risks sharing with her and really worked hard and looked deeply at myself...

bettyboop · bettyboop

After reading the posts here for the last few days, I went to not one but two Al-Anon meetings tonight. I was very anxious and was pretty sure I wold cry through the whole thing...suprinsingly I did not. I listened carefully and learned a few things. I have started to feel better already, in the sense tha...

debbiems · debbiems

Well it happened again, my AS broke the boundries but this time i was strong enough to tell him not to come home. Did pretty good all week with the calls asking for money because he was hungry and had not eaten, (he does not have a job) the last call pulled hard on my heart I didn't give in but it seems like it is...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I've heard the "pendulum" theory - you swing one way for years with no boundaries, then you swing the other way for awhile with "hyper boundaries" then you find the middle. I don't know about others but for me, it never quite lands in the middle. I think that's because I'm always...

nicoleinrecovery · nicoleinrecovery

Hi there, my name is Nicole. I am a Senior at Boise State University. I recently ended a long term relationship with someone who abused alcohol regularly. Over the course of two years I changed and became a weak person that eventually, no one would recognize. I was depressed with no solution ahead of me...

I am lost · I am lost

Im new here and I really just need someone to talk too. Here is my background. My father is an alcoholic although my parents divorced since I was 3 (29 yrs ago). My father was also really bad into drugs (crack/cocain). When they divorced my mother, brother and I got a place with my mom's new bf who was also a...

DogMom · DogMom

Hi. I went to my first F2F last week and plan to go again tomorrow. It has been 2 weeks since AH last drinking episode and I feel like I am trying to believe him but deep inside don't believe that he has stopped drinking, maybe for now, but not for good. I do believe he hasn't drank in the 2 weeks but since he i...

orchidlover · orchidlover

So much of evaluating my life is about unentangling what was me and what was the other person. For me one of the principal grief sticking points has been that I grew up in such abuse/neglect and chaos. Since then I think I view everyone else as an adult and me as a child/victim. Now I'm having to see throu...

Pushka · Pushka

Something that I really really really wanted to share from this weekend were two things I heard from the same speaker. We had panels and then breakout sessions, one of the speakers on the panel spoke about what it was to be an emotional drunk and the blackouts that occur with that fix. I had more AHA mom...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Today has been one of those days, I'm sure many of you can relate. For some reason, I am getting irritated at myself because I still don't trust my AH. I have forgiven him for all the crap and for the DUI, but I still find myself struggling with trust issues. My therapist thinks that maybe he hasn't hit hi...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I grew up totally glued to my family. Unsticking myself from them took me decades, moving thousands of miles away. Guess what once I moved from my family since that's all I knew that's all I did. I dated co workers in intrigue, dated next door neighbors (the ex was actually a roommate at one point) dat...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I'm humbled by how powerful this disease is. Despite attending AA meetings 3 times per week for over 2 years, despite a 30 day stint in an outpatient rehab, despite daily interactions with her sponsor and program people, despite spending this past weekend at a spiritual retreat with other female alc...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Oops. I forgot to put the rest of the post in here. We hear a lot in Al-Anon about unconditional love. Such love makes no demands, exacts no payment, has no expectations. we are free to give it without anticipating or even wanting anything in return because the experience of loving in this way is so rewar...

house cat · house cat

Hi everyone! I'm new here. I went to my first Al-anon meeting this week and found a warm environment, full of loving people. After the meeting, a woman took me aside and talked with me. When I asked her about the lying, she was so nonchalant about it. "oh, lying is just part of the disease.&quo...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, I am gaining lots of awreness lately although I do not like what I am seeing I know my Hp would not bring it to me unless he thought I was ready to handle it. I am realising how much I have given my power away. My head is a little clearer and I have really been focusing on my recovery. My ex ABF has been ba...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

Lots of changes happening fast! I'm a little anxious, but remembering that these changes are GOOD. And what I am leaving behind is a life that was slowly killing me. Packing up my car with all my earthly belongings today and leaving the home I shared with my AH...f2f meeting, yes I will make the time.....

atheos · atheos

After a year of meetings I guess I finally let my guard down enough for that... At this evening's meeting, I admitted feeling suicidal, and that the only reason I'm not dead is because my sister will need life-long care and I have to stay alive for that. I'm proud of the way my fellow Al-Anon members react...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I actually cleaned on sat. It doesn't totallylook like it but progress not perfection. I just spent a couple of hours, took breaks and was basically satisfied. No one would really notice but me but that is OK today. I am a work in progress. It looks like I might have to go back into that room this coming Sat...

help needed · help needed

Hi, My father has a drinking problem. It has been going on for about 15 years and i really dont see how its going to stop. I have 2 older brothers who feel the same as me. We love our dad but the mood swings and stepping on egg shells is getting to breaking point. My mum and dad are still together and she just le...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

My husband and I took this pottery class tonight. It was so special to create something with my hands, you know.. the pieces did not have to be perfect or even close to it but to know I was getting my hands dirty and constructing something of use and uniquely mine... out of just a wet ball of clay. It was re...

Pushka · Pushka

I have had an interesting experience over the past few weeks of having that whole stomach dropping feeling and not been thinking about my AH however recognizing that I'm unhooking from his drama that he wants to create. This whole trip with my mom here I am so sure he has no idea what a jerk he was to me and...

too tired 61 · too tired 61

I am living with a man who drinks about every other day, at least 8 beers at a time, not to mention vodka. after 3 or 4 beers, his personality changes and he becomes the nastiest person ever. i can't take it anymore and need to move, but I have nowhere to go. This man reminds me of my dad who I now care for an...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Today is a Good Day. I think its important that we share that sometimes, too.

stephaniej · stephaniej

It has been a TOUGH week. Last week I was back at work and sad, but coping fairly well. This week has been awful. I miss my mom so much. And while my AH has dialed back his rage a ton over the last few months, and in the week or so surrounding my mom's death was kinder and more supportive than he's been in year...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

I heard a popular preacher last night (Joyce Meyer, she was great!) and a phrase during someone's testimony stuck with me. This particular lady said she was a former drug addict and just had a really unforunate life, a victim of sexual assaults, abortions after being raped, etc, just really sad stuf...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...I've been pondering the Police Commission meeting which was called this last Friday. They were hearing my complaint of the assault and I went. They have open meetings just like Al-Anon...LOL however it isn't a Family Group meeting except for yours truely. My PTSD and lack of sle...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My spouse and I work for the same outfit. She is hourly and I am on contract which allows me to be outside taking care of their property and just enjoying all the lovely HP artwork. It is a hotel and I come in contact with some of the guest from time to time both men and women. I tell my wife about all of the i...

Jerry F · Jerry F

that is what my Avatar picture is and no I'm not supposing you all don't know. I put that up because I got introduced to this one particular bloom in my neighbors yard and it stole my attention and I had to get a picture of it for my photo file. It's not like other flowers in its shape...It has one petal whi...

danash · danash

I am new here so please bear with me as I learn the process. I need suggestions, I am a strong believer in prayer and God but I still need someone to talk to. My daughter who was a heroin addict for 9 years is living with me and her baby 10mths, for the last 3 weeks I have been babysitting from 5 am til 11 pm 6 da...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so learning to take better care of myself. Someone mention HALT! I got a little hungry, angry, and tired but not so much lonely. They were right on the button. How do we know what others need w/o totally knowing them? I guess it is a God thing or intuiton. I am so glad there are people on here who "ge...

abram182 · abram182

To say the least, Ive been through much in the last couple monthsMy AW has been sober for a little over a year with one slip last November. Battling pretty severe depression(which has been there as long as the alcholism and both pre-date me), she decided in late January to join an outpatient program for...

sarah1979 · sarah1979

I'm really struggling with this. My husband is the alcoholic in my life. He is currently detoxing by himself refusing any help saying the only person he can trust in the world is himself. He is being so nasty towards me, being hyper critical of everything I do or say. I know this is his illness speaking an...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Wow! I am feeling like I am repeating myself a lot lately. I guess I just want to get my point across. I am so jealous of the time my niece's other aunt gets to spend w/ her on her birthday trip today. Her other aunt is no relation. I am missing out a lot of my nieces & nephews lives living up here. She gets to...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=427

AsphyxiateOnMisery · AsphyxiateOnMisery

My addict (fiancee) sleeps a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean like he could go to bed at 11 or 12 at night and sleep all the way til 2 or 3 pm. That's 15-16 hours of sleep. A normal person should get like 8 or 9. It upsets me that I usually wake up at 10 or 11 and sometimes earlier and go about my daily business withou...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I'd like to tell you all the story of Jack and Jill. This isn't the story you think it is. I would like to point out, too, that any relation to persons you think you know is purely coincidental. Sorry its so long but it is what is. Jack is an A. He's had a long struggle with alcohol, drugs and crime since he was 1...

dozer12 · dozer12

My Fiance has been sober for 106 days (and myself 100) and I couldn't be more proud of her. She has had many struggles in her life and has used to self medicate most of her pains. She is going through treatment and AA meetings and is doing extremely well. For a time before she got sober, I admit I enabled a l...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi,I've been reading a book called The Laundry List by Tony A. This is an adult child of alcoholics book. In there under the subject of fixing others there's a sentence which reads - "In ACOA I had to learn to let others feel troubled, depressed, miserable, lost or fearful without rushing over a...

AsphyxiateOnMisery · AsphyxiateOnMisery

Hi, my name is Tanya. Basically, my fiancé is a heroin addict and he's been bingeing for the past year with only as much as a week or 2 clean at most, every now and then. I just recently started going to meetings as recommended by my psychiatrist and I've only attended like 2 so far but I think I'm already get...

Tracy · Tracy

I am up and down. Aware I am Hormonal too. I seperated from ABF 2 months ago when he picked up been in AA 3 Years. He is so sick and I am tired, I can not do this anymore. I am so sad I wanted him to get better for everything to be o.k. THIS IS MY WILL God must have different ideas for us. I miss him but know in my heart t...

Grapefruit · Grapefruit

I am 27 and have been dating a Recovering Alcoholic for the past 2 1/2 years. I'm embarressed that I've never attended at Al-anon meeting or reached out to others in a similar situation as my own. I just didn't see a problem for a very long time or the point to inform myself of the disease more. I am now askin...

Momma Mac · Momma Mac

We've been married 28 years. Mostly good; some not as much as others. He's always drank. I guess hindsight, was a functioning alcoholic. He's been ill for five years with chronic anemia. Until 2 weeks ago, his liver was always considered OK with just elevated enzymes from time to time. Now they...

MMVS2012 · MMVS2012

My husband of 4 yrs is an addict, to several things, alcohol, gambling and porn. He is completely non-affectionate now saying he has no drive due to his age and the pain meds he is on for his back. He has no drive nor interest in me. I am somewhat attractive but dont understand why he would want our marrai...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I wish I could talk about my job in here. But, legally, I'm not allowed to go into detail. And since we are all anonymous, one of you could be my boss and I'd never even know it. All I can say is that I work with low bottom alcoholics and addicts and that some of them are personal friends of mine that I either me...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

<insert Serenity Prayer here> <and again> The past 2 days have been a test of my recovery! I need a meeting but the next one I can make is on Friday...possibly tomorrow if I get out of an appointment in time. And tomorrow I am going to hear Joyce Meyer speak, which will be awesome for my spir...

Riven · Riven

I'm new here, here is my story. My husband is an alcoholic. Two years ago he passed out and flooded a large portion of a floor of a 5 star hotel with his face on the shower drain. Last Sept. he drove drunk the wrong way over a one way overpass and woke up in jail... and last Sunday he got drunk and took a girl ba...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I need a new job, house and attitude! (Preview) I am less than 2 months from my move and haven't set up my job or house yet and am lookinglike crazy. All the rentals I call on are wanting to be rented out by May 1 or won't take my dog. I have to stay low so there aren't many and after the divorce I gave up my horses, my house and so much material stuff I will not gi...	Breakingfree	10	786	Apr 19, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Apologies - update on me (Preview) Hey all. I wanted to publicly apologize for arguing with mods on this board. It usually takes me a day or two to realize when I acted like a big jerk. Even if I was right about some of my points (which is questionable), Who cares? It is not appropriate to argue with folks that are doing service free of ch...	pinkchip	14	761	Apr 19, 2012 by pinkchip
	You know What Would Be really cool? (Preview) I see the step board discussions here. do you do the 12 Traditions as well. It would certainly be interesting to see something like that. just food for thought......	Wolfie55	12	589	Apr 19, 2012 by Wolfie55
	why me? or why not me? (Preview) I was just thinking that I am still blessed even when I don't feel it or see it! I deserve every blesssing that I receive. Why not me? I am a child of God who is not junk! I have purpose & a real reason to be here. I hope you all know how much you are needed & loved. I have come a long way even before I starte...	Hoot Nanny	4	350	Apr 19, 2012 by Jerry F
	Living with AH after divorce. Need suggestions (Preview) Hi, all - I'm a first time poster. My AH and I were just divorced in January. In 2 days it will be final. Over the past few years he was addicted to heroin (and kicked), put our home into forclosure (that I prevented by liquidating retirement funds) and is now drinking almost daily. When we appeared...	robin91	23	846	Apr 19, 2012 by hotrod
	checking in (Preview) I haven't been here lately as much as I have in the past, or as much as I would like to. I've been dog/house sitting for some friends who are out of the country. But I'm not comfortable leaving my home completely so I've been going back and forth in taxis with food, clothes, and dogs between friend's house i...	pineapple	13	665	Apr 19, 2012 by hotrod
	Telling the truth (Preview) I've recently (after 3 long years) decided to separate from my husband for 3 months. This has been a decision that is not at all easy to come to for me. I'm a SHM to 2 small kids with 5 pets. Completly financially dependent on my husband for the most part. In any case, after so many years of trying to keep my fa...	living for me	4	592	Apr 19, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Tell employer? (Preview) Does anyone have experience or thoughts on telling your boss about a spouse's alcoholism? I have an excellent relationship with my boss and have worked with him for nearly 15 years. I'm considering telling him what is going on just so he is aware that I may need to take time out of the office here and ther...	usedtobeanyer	19	1185	Apr 19, 2012 by hotrod
	Its scary when they start drinking and driving again (Preview) Love and hugs to all ya'll. =) Just a page from my diary... 20120417: She bought a bottle of rum yesterday. Told me that she spilt some of it to hide that she drank it. She puked at about 8:20 and went to bed at 8:30. Today, the bottle was ½ full at aobut 10:30 this morning. By 3:00 it was gone except for 1 or...	GeneralLee	26	1269	Apr 19, 2012 by hotrod
	You Know Who You Are (Preview) I just wanted to say one more thing before I peel my eyelids off the computer screen. Thank you to all my friends, especially the ones I didn't know I had until just now. I was feeling a little...I don't know...like I didn't belong. And someone noticed that I was feeling that way and we chit-chatted for a b...	Wolfie55	8	512	Apr 19, 2012 by living for me
	question (Preview) Will I KNOW, really KNOW when it's time to leave my AH? Will something come over me and I will just know? An epiphany maybe?	I am lost	13	587	Apr 19, 2012 by Auntyaya
	Sponsors (Preview) Can someone explain to me the role of a sponsor? I don't know what I would say to one or what the sponsor would do for me. I feel like I can benefit from a therapist, but what does this person do? How do I qualify for one? What would I say to this person? I am not ready for the steps yet. Do they try to convince...	member922	16	7060	Apr 18, 2012 by Tigger
	NO expectations? (Preview) I'm not sure i understand the whole "not having ANY expectations" part. In my situation I certainly have very specific expectations from my alcoholic bf. I think they fall in line with boundaries. Help me understand this...	bettyboop	16	5536	Apr 18, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Those A-Ha moments... (Preview) Last night I arrived at my meeting and as I sat down I asked HP to allow me to learn and to help me share something that might help others. Before the program started the shoe incident came to my mind. Easter weekend on Easter Sunday I got my sdaughter bathed and curled her hair and then it was time to get dres...	Jackie11	7	565	Apr 18, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Hurtful sponsor experience (Preview) I've just had a really horrible and upsetting experience with a sponsor. I have been coming to alanon just over a year and had the sponsor since november. I am an acoa and don't trust easily (or trust the wrong people!) I have taken risks sharing with her and really worked hard and looked deeply at myself...	Tigger	12	925	Apr 18, 2012 by orchidlover
	So starts MY journey... (Preview) After reading the posts here for the last few days, I went to not one but two Al-Anon meetings tonight. I was very anxious and was pretty sure I wold cry through the whole thing...suprinsingly I did not. I listened carefully and learned a few things. I have started to feel better already, in the sense tha...	bettyboop	8	535	Apr 18, 2012 by living for me
	Broken boundries again, kicked him out (Preview) Well it happened again, my AS broke the boundries but this time i was strong enough to tell him not to come home. Did pretty good all week with the calls asking for money because he was hungry and had not eaten, (he does not have a job) the last call pulled hard on my heart I didn't give in but it seems like it is...	debbiems	7	1017	Apr 18, 2012 by living for me
	Setting Boundaries for me is a process (Preview) I've heard the "pendulum" theory - you swing one way for years with no boundaries, then you swing the other way for awhile with "hyper boundaries" then you find the middle. I don't know about others but for me, it never quite lands in the middle. I think that's because I'm always...	AStrongerMe	6	709	Apr 18, 2012 by orchidlover
	Big step in Recovery, Senior Project. (Preview) Hi there, my name is Nicole. I am a Senior at Boise State University. I recently ended a long term relationship with someone who abused alcohol regularly. Over the course of two years I changed and became a weak person that eventually, no one would recognize. I was depressed with no solution ahead of me...	nicoleinrecovery	3	582	Apr 18, 2012 by Jerry F
	Newbie (Preview) Im new here and I really just need someone to talk too. Here is my background. My father is an alcoholic although my parents divorced since I was 3 (29 yrs ago). My father was also really bad into drugs (crack/cocain). When they divorced my mother, brother and I got a place with my mom's new bf who was also a...	I am lost	9	637	Apr 18, 2012 by nine
	New Here...Waiting for the Next Time (Preview) Hi. I went to my first F2F last week and plan to go again tomorrow. It has been 2 weeks since AH last drinking episode and I feel like I am trying to believe him but deep inside don't believe that he has stopped drinking, maybe for now, but not for good. I do believe he hasn't drank in the 2 weeks but since he i...	DogMom	11	604	Apr 18, 2012 by nine
	a new metaphor (Preview) So much of evaluating my life is about unentangling what was me and what was the other person. For me one of the principal grief sticking points has been that I grew up in such abuse/neglect and chaos. Since then I think I view everyone else as an adult and me as a child/victim. Now I'm having to see throu...	orchidlover	7	567	Apr 18, 2012 by ilovedogs
	I'm an emotional drunk .. (Preview) Something that I really really really wanted to share from this weekend were two things I heard from the same speaker. We had panels and then breakout sessions, one of the speakers on the panel spoke about what it was to be an emotional drunk and the blackouts that occur with that fix. I had more AHA mom...	Pushka	15	3850	Apr 18, 2012 by pineapple
	Hate how I'm feeling today! (Preview) Today has been one of those days, I'm sure many of you can relate. For some reason, I am getting irritated at myself because I still don't trust my AH. I have forgiven him for all the crap and for the DUI, but I still find myself struggling with trust issues. My therapist thinks that maybe he hasn't hit hi...	ilovedogs	9	673	Apr 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	enmeshment (Preview) I grew up totally glued to my family. Unsticking myself from them took me decades, moving thousands of miles away. Guess what once I moved from my family since that's all I knew that's all I did. I dated co workers in intrigue, dated next door neighbors (the ex was actually a roommate at one point) dat...	orchidlover	6	755	Apr 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	It just goes on and on... (Preview) I'm humbled by how powerful this disease is. Despite attending AA meetings 3 times per week for over 2 years, despite a 30 day stint in an outpatient rehab, despite daily interactions with her sponsor and program people, despite spending this past weekend at a spiritual retreat with other female alc...	usedtobeanyer	14	984	Apr 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	I Think That's About Enough For Me (Preview) Oops. I forgot to put the rest of the post in here. We hear a lot in Al-Anon about unconditional love. Such love makes no demands, exacts no payment, has no expectations. we are free to give it without anticipating or even wanting anything in return because the experience of loving in this way is so rewar...	Wolfie55	5	679	Apr 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	Lying (Preview) Hi everyone! I'm new here. I went to my first Al-anon meeting this week and found a warm environment, full of loving people. After the meeting, a woman took me aside and talked with me. When I asked her about the lying, she was so nonchalant about it. "oh, lying is just part of the disease.&quo...	house cat	18	860	Apr 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	trying to own my power (Preview) Hi All, I am gaining lots of awreness lately although I do not like what I am seeing I know my Hp would not bring it to me unless he thought I was ready to handle it. I am realising how much I have given my power away. My head is a little clearer and I have really been focusing on my recovery. My ex ABF has been ba...	Tracy	4	525	Apr 17, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Moving Day ACK! (Preview) Lots of changes happening fast! I'm a little anxious, but remembering that these changes are GOOD. And what I am leaving behind is a life that was slowly killing me. Packing up my car with all my earthly belongings today and leaving the home I shared with my AH...f2f meeting, yes I will make the time.....	Dolly Llama	6	691	Apr 17, 2012 by hotrod
	I finally cried at a meeting (Preview) After a year of meetings I guess I finally let my guard down enough for that... At this evening's meeting, I admitted feeling suicidal, and that the only reason I'm not dead is because my sister will need life-long care and I have to stay alive for that. I'm proud of the way my fellow Al-Anon members react...	atheos	10	635	Apr 17, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	I actually did it! (Preview) I actually cleaned on sat. It doesn't totallylook like it but progress not perfection. I just spent a couple of hours, took breaks and was basically satisfied. No one would really notice but me but that is OK today. I am a work in progress. It looks like I might have to go back into that room this coming Sat...	Hoot Nanny	1	396	Apr 16, 2012 by GailMichelle
	I need advice (Preview) Hi, My father has a drinking problem. It has been going on for about 15 years and i really dont see how its going to stop. I have 2 older brothers who feel the same as me. We love our dad but the mood swings and stepping on egg shells is getting to breaking point. My mum and dad are still together and she just le...	help needed	6	645	Apr 16, 2012 by AsphyxiateOnMisery
	Light as a Feather (Preview) My husband and I took this pottery class tonight. It was so special to create something with my hands, you know.. the pieces did not have to be perfect or even close to it but to know I was getting my hands dirty and constructing something of use and uniquely mine... out of just a wet ball of clay. It was re...	Michelle814	7	569	Apr 16, 2012 by Jackie11
	Unhooking (little ventish :)) (Preview) I have had an interesting experience over the past few weeks of having that whole stomach dropping feeling and not been thinking about my AH however recognizing that I'm unhooking from his drama that he wants to create. This whole trip with my mom here I am so sure he has no idea what a jerk he was to me and...	Pushka	10	695	Apr 16, 2012 by hotrod
	help (Preview) I am living with a man who drinks about every other day, at least 8 beers at a time, not to mention vodka. after 3 or 4 beers, his personality changes and he becomes the nastiest person ever. i can't take it anymore and need to move, but I have nowhere to go. This man reminds me of my dad who I now care for an...	too tired 61	8	617	Apr 15, 2012 by Jennifer
	Today is a good day (Preview) Today is a Good Day. I think its important that we share that sometimes, too.	Wolfie55	3	352	Apr 15, 2012 by Jerry F
	Acceptance, Struggles, Grieving (Preview) It has been a TOUGH week. Last week I was back at work and sad, but coping fairly well. This week has been awful. I miss my mom so much. And while my AH has dialed back his rage a ton over the last few months, and in the week or so surrounding my mom's death was kinder and more supportive than he's been in year...	stephaniej	10	679	Apr 15, 2012 by Michelle814
	The Gift of Desperation (Preview) I heard a popular preacher last night (Joyce Meyer, she was great!) and a phrase during someone's testimony stuck with me. This particular lady said she was a former drug addict and just had a really unforunate life, a victim of sexual assaults, abortions after being raped, etc, just really sad stuf...	Dolly Llama	5	773	Apr 15, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Say it and say it out loud... (Preview) Aloha Family...I've been pondering the Police Commission meeting which was called this last Friday. They were hearing my complaint of the assault and I went. They have open meetings just like Al-Anon...LOL however it isn't a Family Group meeting except for yours truely. My PTSD and lack of sle...	Jerry F	10	560	Apr 15, 2012 by Peggy7
	Just a funny with my Al-Anon spouse (Preview) My spouse and I work for the same outfit. She is hourly and I am on contract which allows me to be outside taking care of their property and just enjoying all the lovely HP artwork. It is a hotel and I come in contact with some of the guest from time to time both men and women. I tell my wife about all of the i...	Jerry F	6	844	Apr 15, 2012 by Peggy7
	The Bird of Paradise (Preview) that is what my Avatar picture is and no I'm not supposing you all don't know. I put that up because I got introduced to this one particular bloom in my neighbors yard and it stole my attention and I had to get a picture of it for my photo file. It's not like other flowers in its shape...It has one petal whi...	Jerry F	11	505	Apr 15, 2012 by Peggy7
	am i enabling (Preview) I am new here so please bear with me as I learn the process. I need suggestions, I am a strong believer in prayer and God but I still need someone to talk to. My daughter who was a heroin addict for 9 years is living with me and her baby 10mths, for the last 3 weeks I have been babysitting from 5 am til 11 pm 6 da...	danash	28	830	Apr 15, 2012 by hotrod
	yesterday I was HALTing but today not so much! (Preview) I am so learning to take better care of myself. Someone mention HALT! I got a little hungry, angry, and tired but not so much lonely. They were right on the button. How do we know what others need w/o totally knowing them? I guess it is a God thing or intuiton. I am so glad there are people on here who "ge...	Hoot Nanny	2	418	Apr 15, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Anybody's experience dreadfully similar? (Preview) To say the least, Ive been through much in the last couple monthsMy AW has been sober for a little over a year with one slip last November. Battling pretty severe depression(which has been there as long as the alcholism and both pre-date me), she decided in late January to join an outpatient program for...	abram182	10	732	Apr 15, 2012 by Auntyaya
	How do you best respond to nasty behaviour and comments from alcoholic? (Preview) I'm really struggling with this. My husband is the alcoholic in my life. He is currently detoxing by himself refusing any help saying the only person he can trust in the world is himself. He is being so nasty towards me, being hyper critical of everything I do or say. I know this is his illness speaking an...	sarah1979	7	2807	Apr 14, 2012 by sarah1979
	don't mean to REPEAT myself! (Preview) Wow! I am feeling like I am repeating myself a lot lately. I guess I just want to get my point across. I am so jealous of the time my niece's other aunt gets to spend w/ her on her birthday trip today. Her other aunt is no relation. I am missing out a lot of my nieces & nephews lives living up here. She gets to...	Hoot Nanny	2	354	Apr 14, 2012 by oldergal
	Step Work Board (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=427	hotrod	1	319	Apr 14, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Question to those who are close to or in a relationship with an addict. (Preview) My addict (fiancee) sleeps a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean like he could go to bed at 11 or 12 at night and sleep all the way til 2 or 3 pm. That's 15-16 hours of sleep. A normal person should get like 8 or 9. It upsets me that I usually wake up at 10 or 11 and sometimes earlier and go about my daily business withou...	AsphyxiateOnMisery	7	795	Apr 14, 2012 by AsphyxiateOnMisery
	Jack and Jill (Preview) I'd like to tell you all the story of Jack and Jill. This isn't the story you think it is. I would like to point out, too, that any relation to persons you think you know is purely coincidental. Sorry its so long but it is what is. Jack is an A. He's had a long struggle with alcohol, drugs and crime since he was 1...	Wolfie55	2	560	Apr 13, 2012 by Mattie
	New and curious (Preview) My Fiance has been sober for 106 days (and myself 100) and I couldn't be more proud of her. She has had many struggles in her life and has used to self medicate most of her pains. She is going through treatment and AA meetings and is doing extremely well. For a time before she got sober, I admit I enabled a l...	dozer12	6	629	Apr 14, 2012 by pinkchip
	Fixing Others (Preview) Hi,I've been reading a book called The Laundry List by Tony A. This is an adult child of alcoholics book. In there under the subject of fixing others there's a sentence which reads - "In ACOA I had to learn to let others feel troubled, depressed, miserable, lost or fearful without rushing over a...	Tracey C	10	656	Apr 14, 2012 by pinkchip
	Just started alanon/naranon meetings. (Preview) Hi, my name is Tanya. Basically, my fiancé is a heroin addict and he's been bingeing for the past year with only as much as a week or 2 clean at most, every now and then. I just recently started going to meetings as recommended by my psychiatrist and I've only attended like 2 so far but I think I'm already get...	AsphyxiateOnMisery	10	1262	Apr 14, 2012 by pinkchip
	feelings (Preview) I am up and down. Aware I am Hormonal too. I seperated from ABF 2 months ago when he picked up been in AA 3 Years. He is so sick and I am tired, I can not do this anymore. I am so sad I wanted him to get better for everything to be o.k. THIS IS MY WILL God must have different ideas for us. I miss him but know in my heart t...	Tracy	5	406	Apr 13, 2012 by GailMichelle
	Been dating a Recovering Alcoholic for the past 2 1/2 years! (Preview) I am 27 and have been dating a Recovering Alcoholic for the past 2 1/2 years. I'm embarressed that I've never attended at Al-anon meeting or reached out to others in a similar situation as my own. I just didn't see a problem for a very long time or the point to inform myself of the disease more. I am now askin...	Grapefruit	9	974	Apr 13, 2012 by Grapefruit
	Where to Begin? (Preview) We've been married 28 years. Mostly good; some not as much as others. He's always drank. I guess hindsight, was a functioning alcoholic. He's been ill for five years with chronic anemia. Until 2 weeks ago, his liver was always considered OK with just elevated enzymes from time to time. Now they...	Momma Mac	7	860	Apr 13, 2012 by Breakingfree
	New here, not sure where to start (Preview) My husband of 4 yrs is an addict, to several things, alcohol, gambling and porn. He is completely non-affectionate now saying he has no drive due to his age and the pain meds he is on for his back. He has no drive nor interest in me. I am somewhat attractive but dont understand why he would want our marrai...	MMVS2012	8	458	Apr 13, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Gods Hands (Preview) I wish I could talk about my job in here. But, legally, I'm not allowed to go into detail. And since we are all anonymous, one of you could be my boss and I'd never even know it. All I can say is that I work with low bottom alcoholics and addicts and that some of them are personal friends of mine that I either me...	Wolfie55	9	508	Apr 13, 2012 by Michelle814
	Frustrated by AH's emails (Preview) <insert Serenity Prayer here> <and again> The past 2 days have been a test of my recovery! I need a meeting but the next one I can make is on Friday...possibly tomorrow if I get out of an appointment in time. And tomorrow I am going to hear Joyce Meyer speak, which will be awesome for my spir...	Dolly Llama	12	690	Apr 13, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	New to the site... my story (Preview) I'm new here, here is my story. My husband is an alcoholic. Two years ago he passed out and flooded a large portion of a floor of a 5 star hotel with his face on the shower drain. Last Sept. he drove drunk the wrong way over a one way overpass and woke up in jail... and last Sunday he got drunk and took a girl ba...	Riven	16	608	Apr 13, 2012 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.