Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Peachy219 · Peachy219

Hi All, I'm new(ish) to all this and I've finally decided to get off the roller coaster, take a giant leap of faith and do what I need to do to get healthy and sane. I left my addict boyfriend (again) last week. I kept trying to find the magic formula of things I could say/do to help/save him. I kept trying to m...

MaryB · MaryB

My husband has been sober for over 2 years. He is on step 10. I have had counselling from his rehab and was discharged a few months ago. I am very proud of my husband and the work he has done BUT I have been getting increasingly unhappy about our financial situation. He has not worked for 3 years - I am bring...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm trying to decide .. LOL .. I have a situation with the kids school, .. I am responsible for homework, rides to and from school and so on. I don't mind that at all .. what I do mind is the 4 nights out of the month as well as 2 weekends I'm still responsible for making sure the homework is done. It's importa...

Aloha · Aloha

I am having so much fun seeing how recovery work continues to remove fear from my life. About a year ago, I posted about my experience with getting up and reading the Al-Anon Preamble in front of a room of around 100 people at the annual Big Island Bash, an AA convention with Al-Anon participation. Well,...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

I have a question . . . I am often tired, can't seem to get enough sleep, lots of aches and pains, very low resiliency (I may feel well enough for a nice hike, or tear through the house cleaning, but then I pay for it the next day by being exhausted). I have tended to explain this away as 'reaction to stress' o...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

That work thing I was worried about earlier in the week, the decision I had to make - turned out it wasn't so difficult. I guess its true, when you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, you end up crapping all over today. Sorry. Crude analogy but u get my point I'm sure. Have a wonderful evenin...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Well, AH just left for his appointment at court. This is the sentencing hearing. I have been minding my own business and not asking questions, although I did hand him the checkbook just in case he needs it to pay fines, etc. I said a few nice encouraging words and told him that I would pray for him. He s...

amills4294 · amills4294

Participating in this program has opened up a lot of closed off emotions - many that I really would rather not feel but I know I need to move through them to get past them and see them from the other side. Sometimes this is a very difficult thing to do when others either don't understand the process or don'...

silent · silent

ok,1st off ive been away from alanon for several mths ,no meetings no where near me but been coming here way long time,most of you know me as chinup,ive been really busy with myself and sick son,got back with my ex a/d b/f i split up with him for nearly a year and dum me went and scooped him back up and away fro...

Fina · Fina

Hi and thanks for reading. I've a retread in Al-Anon and am looking for someone to help me work the steps (again). I'm starting step 3 and know how much wiser it is to have someone who isn't my own ego working with me. Let me know if you want more details. And . . . thanks. Fina

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I was just re-reading the questions in the Blueprint For Progress under the topic of Love. I like the quote they have there: I needed love before I even knew what it was. Now that I understand something about it, I need it even more. By loving myself, I not only take care of my own needs, but I lay a foundatio...

cath111 · cath111

I threw my boyfriend of 3 years out the 1st of the month after his behaviour became too abusive and outrageous. He has called a couple times on business and I haven't been very receptive. I expected a call today re something he needs that is still here, but he didn't call. Although I tell myself it's n...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Words god gave me today are gratitude and service. So, service is a great way to show gratitude. Works for me. You all have a nice day now.

NoworNever · NoworNever

Hi all. Last night my finace and I had it out about doing his part around the house. He seems to think that working and being sober is all that is required. He has been sober 20 months and has not smoked cigarettes for 2 months. After 12 years together, I am indeed happy and we have talked of marriage, and I am...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Good morning! Have a great day!

rara avis · rara avis

Hi everybody! I have to say I am very grateful for the Alanon lesson of detachment. It's something I didn't "get" while I was in my relationship, but now that I'm out, it has become VERY useful! My ex RA appears to be living/staying down my street about 500 yards away - this close, despite a 10...

AsphyxiateOnMisery · AsphyxiateOnMisery

So as I've stated in my introduction in a previous thread, I've begun attending meetings (both alanon and naranon) because of my fiancé's heroin addiction. And I just wanted to make this my progress thread on here. Today, I had a therapy appt but I ended up missing it and having to reschedule due to my ow...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am less than 2 months from my move and haven't set up my job or house yet and am lookinglike crazy. All the rentals I call on are wanting to be rented out by May 1 or won't take my dog. I have to stay low so there aren't many and after the divorce I gave up my horses, my house and so much material stuff I will not gi...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Hey all. I wanted to publicly apologize for arguing with mods on this board. It usually takes me a day or two to realize when I acted like a big jerk. Even if I was right about some of my points (which is questionable), Who cares? It is not appropriate to argue with folks that are doing service free of ch...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I see the step board discussions here. do you do the 12 Traditions as well. It would certainly be interesting to see something like that. just food for thought......

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was just thinking that I am still blessed even when I don't feel it or see it! I deserve every blesssing that I receive. Why not me? I am a child of God who is not junk! I have purpose & a real reason to be here. I hope you all know how much you are needed & loved. I have come a long way even before I starte...

robin91 · robin91

Hi, all - I'm a first time poster. My AH and I were just divorced in January. In 2 days it will be final. Over the past few years he was addicted to heroin (and kicked), put our home into forclosure (that I prevented by liquidating retirement funds) and is now drinking almost daily. When we appeared...

pineapple · pineapple

I haven't been here lately as much as I have in the past, or as much as I would like to. I've been dog/house sitting for some friends who are out of the country. But I'm not comfortable leaving my home completely so I've been going back and forth in taxis with food, clothes, and dogs between friend's house i...

living for me · living for me

I've recently (after 3 long years) decided to separate from my husband for 3 months. This has been a decision that is not at all easy to come to for me. I'm a SHM to 2 small kids with 5 pets. Completly financially dependent on my husband for the most part. In any case, after so many years of trying to keep my fa...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Does anyone have experience or thoughts on telling your boss about a spouse's alcoholism? I have an excellent relationship with my boss and have worked with him for nearly 15 years. I'm considering telling him what is going on just so he is aware that I may need to take time out of the office here and ther...

GeneralLee · GeneralLee

Love and hugs to all ya'll. =) Just a page from my diary... 20120417: She bought a bottle of rum yesterday. Told me that she spilt some of it to hide that she drank it. She puked at about 8:20 and went to bed at 8:30. Today, the bottle was ½ full at aobut 10:30 this morning. By 3:00 it was gone except for 1 or...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I just wanted to say one more thing before I peel my eyelids off the computer screen. Thank you to all my friends, especially the ones I didn't know I had until just now. I was feeling a little...I don't know...like I didn't belong. And someone noticed that I was feeling that way and we chit-chatted for a b...

I am lost · I am lost

Will I KNOW, really KNOW when it's time to leave my AH? Will something come over me and I will just know? An epiphany maybe?

member922 · member922

Can someone explain to me the role of a sponsor? I don't know what I would say to one or what the sponsor would do for me. I feel like I can benefit from a therapist, but what does this person do? How do I qualify for one? What would I say to this person? I am not ready for the steps yet. Do they try to convince...

bettyboop · bettyboop

I'm not sure i understand the whole "not having ANY expectations" part. In my situation I certainly have very specific expectations from my alcoholic bf. I think they fall in line with boundaries. Help me understand this...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Last night I arrived at my meeting and as I sat down I asked HP to allow me to learn and to help me share something that might help others. Before the program started the shoe incident came to my mind. Easter weekend on Easter Sunday I got my sdaughter bathed and curled her hair and then it was time to get dres...

Tigger · Tigger

I've just had a really horrible and upsetting experience with a sponsor. I have been coming to alanon just over a year and had the sponsor since november. I am an acoa and don't trust easily (or trust the wrong people!) I have taken risks sharing with her and really worked hard and looked deeply at myself...

bettyboop · bettyboop

After reading the posts here for the last few days, I went to not one but two Al-Anon meetings tonight. I was very anxious and was pretty sure I wold cry through the whole thing...suprinsingly I did not. I listened carefully and learned a few things. I have started to feel better already, in the sense tha...

debbiems · debbiems

Well it happened again, my AS broke the boundries but this time i was strong enough to tell him not to come home. Did pretty good all week with the calls asking for money because he was hungry and had not eaten, (he does not have a job) the last call pulled hard on my heart I didn't give in but it seems like it is...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I've heard the "pendulum" theory - you swing one way for years with no boundaries, then you swing the other way for awhile with "hyper boundaries" then you find the middle. I don't know about others but for me, it never quite lands in the middle. I think that's because I'm always...

nicoleinrecovery · nicoleinrecovery

Hi there, my name is Nicole. I am a Senior at Boise State University. I recently ended a long term relationship with someone who abused alcohol regularly. Over the course of two years I changed and became a weak person that eventually, no one would recognize. I was depressed with no solution ahead of me...

I am lost · I am lost

Im new here and I really just need someone to talk too. Here is my background. My father is an alcoholic although my parents divorced since I was 3 (29 yrs ago). My father was also really bad into drugs (crack/cocain). When they divorced my mother, brother and I got a place with my mom's new bf who was also a...

DogMom · DogMom

Hi. I went to my first F2F last week and plan to go again tomorrow. It has been 2 weeks since AH last drinking episode and I feel like I am trying to believe him but deep inside don't believe that he has stopped drinking, maybe for now, but not for good. I do believe he hasn't drank in the 2 weeks but since he i...

orchidlover · orchidlover

So much of evaluating my life is about unentangling what was me and what was the other person. For me one of the principal grief sticking points has been that I grew up in such abuse/neglect and chaos. Since then I think I view everyone else as an adult and me as a child/victim. Now I'm having to see throu...

Pushka · Pushka

Something that I really really really wanted to share from this weekend were two things I heard from the same speaker. We had panels and then breakout sessions, one of the speakers on the panel spoke about what it was to be an emotional drunk and the blackouts that occur with that fix. I had more AHA mom...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Today has been one of those days, I'm sure many of you can relate. For some reason, I am getting irritated at myself because I still don't trust my AH. I have forgiven him for all the crap and for the DUI, but I still find myself struggling with trust issues. My therapist thinks that maybe he hasn't hit hi...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I grew up totally glued to my family. Unsticking myself from them took me decades, moving thousands of miles away. Guess what once I moved from my family since that's all I knew that's all I did. I dated co workers in intrigue, dated next door neighbors (the ex was actually a roommate at one point) dat...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I'm humbled by how powerful this disease is. Despite attending AA meetings 3 times per week for over 2 years, despite a 30 day stint in an outpatient rehab, despite daily interactions with her sponsor and program people, despite spending this past weekend at a spiritual retreat with other female alc...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Oops. I forgot to put the rest of the post in here. We hear a lot in Al-Anon about unconditional love. Such love makes no demands, exacts no payment, has no expectations. we are free to give it without anticipating or even wanting anything in return because the experience of loving in this way is so rewar...

house cat · house cat

Hi everyone! I'm new here. I went to my first Al-anon meeting this week and found a warm environment, full of loving people. After the meeting, a woman took me aside and talked with me. When I asked her about the lying, she was so nonchalant about it. "oh, lying is just part of the disease.&quo...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, I am gaining lots of awreness lately although I do not like what I am seeing I know my Hp would not bring it to me unless he thought I was ready to handle it. I am realising how much I have given my power away. My head is a little clearer and I have really been focusing on my recovery. My ex ABF has been ba...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

Lots of changes happening fast! I'm a little anxious, but remembering that these changes are GOOD. And what I am leaving behind is a life that was slowly killing me. Packing up my car with all my earthly belongings today and leaving the home I shared with my AH...f2f meeting, yes I will make the time.....

atheos · atheos

After a year of meetings I guess I finally let my guard down enough for that... At this evening's meeting, I admitted feeling suicidal, and that the only reason I'm not dead is because my sister will need life-long care and I have to stay alive for that. I'm proud of the way my fellow Al-Anon members react...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I actually cleaned on sat. It doesn't totallylook like it but progress not perfection. I just spent a couple of hours, took breaks and was basically satisfied. No one would really notice but me but that is OK today. I am a work in progress. It looks like I might have to go back into that room this coming Sat...

help needed · help needed

Hi, My father has a drinking problem. It has been going on for about 15 years and i really dont see how its going to stop. I have 2 older brothers who feel the same as me. We love our dad but the mood swings and stepping on egg shells is getting to breaking point. My mum and dad are still together and she just le...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

My husband and I took this pottery class tonight. It was so special to create something with my hands, you know.. the pieces did not have to be perfect or even close to it but to know I was getting my hands dirty and constructing something of use and uniquely mine... out of just a wet ball of clay. It was re...

Pushka · Pushka

I have had an interesting experience over the past few weeks of having that whole stomach dropping feeling and not been thinking about my AH however recognizing that I'm unhooking from his drama that he wants to create. This whole trip with my mom here I am so sure he has no idea what a jerk he was to me and...

too tired 61 · too tired 61

I am living with a man who drinks about every other day, at least 8 beers at a time, not to mention vodka. after 3 or 4 beers, his personality changes and he becomes the nastiest person ever. i can't take it anymore and need to move, but I have nowhere to go. This man reminds me of my dad who I now care for an...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Today is a Good Day. I think its important that we share that sometimes, too.

stephaniej · stephaniej

It has been a TOUGH week. Last week I was back at work and sad, but coping fairly well. This week has been awful. I miss my mom so much. And while my AH has dialed back his rage a ton over the last few months, and in the week or so surrounding my mom's death was kinder and more supportive than he's been in year...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

I heard a popular preacher last night (Joyce Meyer, she was great!) and a phrase during someone's testimony stuck with me. This particular lady said she was a former drug addict and just had a really unforunate life, a victim of sexual assaults, abortions after being raped, etc, just really sad stuf...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...I've been pondering the Police Commission meeting which was called this last Friday. They were hearing my complaint of the assault and I went. They have open meetings just like Al-Anon...LOL however it isn't a Family Group meeting except for yours truely. My PTSD and lack of sle...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My spouse and I work for the same outfit. She is hourly and I am on contract which allows me to be outside taking care of their property and just enjoying all the lovely HP artwork. It is a hotel and I come in contact with some of the guest from time to time both men and women. I tell my wife about all of the i...

Jerry F · Jerry F

that is what my Avatar picture is and no I'm not supposing you all don't know. I put that up because I got introduced to this one particular bloom in my neighbors yard and it stole my attention and I had to get a picture of it for my photo file. It's not like other flowers in its shape...It has one petal whi...

danash · danash

I am new here so please bear with me as I learn the process. I need suggestions, I am a strong believer in prayer and God but I still need someone to talk to. My daughter who was a heroin addict for 9 years is living with me and her baby 10mths, for the last 3 weeks I have been babysitting from 5 am til 11 pm 6 da...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Reaching out and asking for help (Preview) Hi All, I'm new(ish) to all this and I've finally decided to get off the roller coaster, take a giant leap of faith and do what I need to do to get healthy and sane. I left my addict boyfriend (again) last week. I kept trying to find the magic formula of things I could say/do to help/save him. I kept trying to m...	Peachy219	5	581	Apr 21, 2012 by marcys1313
	New here - need advice (Preview) My husband has been sober for over 2 years. He is on step 10. I have had counselling from his rehab and was discharged a few months ago. I am very proud of my husband and the work he has done BUT I have been getting increasingly unhappy about our financial situation. He has not worked for 3 years - I am bring...	MaryB	10	560	Apr 21, 2012 by marcys1313
	How Important Is It? (Preview) I'm trying to decide .. LOL .. I have a situation with the kids school, .. I am responsible for homework, rides to and from school and so on. I don't mind that at all .. what I do mind is the 4 nights out of the month as well as 2 weekends I'm still responsible for making sure the homework is done. It's importa...	Pushka	10	617	Apr 21, 2012 by likemyheart
	Recovery removing fear (Preview) I am having so much fun seeing how recovery work continues to remove fear from my life. About a year ago, I posted about my experience with getting up and reading the Al-Anon Preamble in front of a room of around 100 people at the annual Big Island Bash, an AA convention with Al-Anon participation. Well,...	Aloha	3	607	Apr 21, 2012 by Pushka
	chronic fatigue (Preview) I have a question . . . I am often tired, can't seem to get enough sleep, lots of aches and pains, very low resiliency (I may feel well enough for a nice hike, or tear through the house cleaning, but then I pay for it the next day by being exhausted). I have tended to explain this away as 'reaction to stress' o...	Iris lover of dogs	8	524	Apr 21, 2012 by Iris lover of dogs
	That Wasn't So Bad (Preview) That work thing I was worried about earlier in the week, the decision I had to make - turned out it wasn't so difficult. I guess its true, when you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, you end up crapping all over today. Sorry. Crude analogy but u get my point I'm sure. Have a wonderful evenin...	Wolfie55	3	440	Apr 21, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Court Day Today for AH (Preview) Well, AH just left for his appointment at court. This is the sentencing hearing. I have been minding my own business and not asking questions, although I did hand him the checkbook just in case he needs it to pay fines, etc. I said a few nice encouraging words and told him that I would pray for him. He s...	ilovedogs	5	551	Apr 21, 2012 by orchidlover
	all kinds of emotions flooding back (Preview) Participating in this program has opened up a lot of closed off emotions - many that I really would rather not feel but I know I need to move through them to get past them and see them from the other side. Sometimes this is a very difficult thing to do when others either don't understand the process or don'...	amills4294	7	553	Apr 21, 2012 by orchidlover
	HELP ME,give me peace (Preview) ok,1st off ive been away from alanon for several mths ,no meetings no where near me but been coming here way long time,most of you know me as chinup,ive been really busy with myself and sick son,got back with my ex a/d b/f i split up with him for nearly a year and dum me went and scooped him back up and away fro...	silent	6	523	Apr 21, 2012 by orchidlover
	Seeking a Step Sponsor (Preview) Hi and thanks for reading. I've a retread in Al-Anon and am looking for someone to help me work the steps (again). I'm starting step 3 and know how much wiser it is to have someone who isn't my own ego working with me. Let me know if you want more details. And . . . thanks. Fina	Fina	3	436	Apr 20, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Love (Preview) I was just re-reading the questions in the Blueprint For Progress under the topic of Love. I like the quote they have there: I needed love before I even knew what it was. Now that I understand something about it, I need it even more. By loving myself, I not only take care of my own needs, but I lay a foundatio...	Wolfie55	5	573	Apr 20, 2012 by Peachy219
	Having trouble believing it's not personal (Preview) I threw my boyfriend of 3 years out the 1st of the month after his behaviour became too abusive and outrageous. He has called a couple times on business and I haven't been very receptive. I expected a call today re something he needs that is still here, but he didn't call. Although I tell myself it's n...	cath111	6	744	Apr 20, 2012 by Peachy219
	Gratitude & Service (Preview) Words god gave me today are gratitude and service. So, service is a great way to show gratitude. Works for me. You all have a nice day now.	Wolfie55	3	403	Apr 20, 2012 by Pushka
	New here dry drunk housework communication (Preview) Hi all. Last night my finace and I had it out about doing his part around the house. He seems to think that working and being sober is all that is required. He has been sober 20 months and has not smoked cigarettes for 2 months. After 12 years together, I am indeed happy and we have talked of marriage, and I am...	NoworNever	10	7178	Apr 20, 2012 by nmike
	Happy Thursday (Preview) Good morning! Have a great day!	Wolfie55	5	390	Apr 19, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	detachment AND Fear? (Preview) Hi everybody! I have to say I am very grateful for the Alanon lesson of detachment. It's something I didn't "get" while I was in my relationship, but now that I'm out, it has become VERY useful! My ex RA appears to be living/staying down my street about 500 yards away - this close, despite a 10...	rara avis	12	665	Apr 19, 2012 by Pushka
	My progress thread (Preview) So as I've stated in my introduction in a previous thread, I've begun attending meetings (both alanon and naranon) because of my fiancé's heroin addiction. And I just wanted to make this my progress thread on here. Today, I had a therapy appt but I ended up missing it and having to reschedule due to my ow...	AsphyxiateOnMisery	11	999	Apr 19, 2012 by AsphyxiateOnMisery
	I need a new job, house and attitude! (Preview) I am less than 2 months from my move and haven't set up my job or house yet and am lookinglike crazy. All the rentals I call on are wanting to be rented out by May 1 or won't take my dog. I have to stay low so there aren't many and after the divorce I gave up my horses, my house and so much material stuff I will not gi...	Breakingfree	10	819	Apr 19, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Apologies - update on me (Preview) Hey all. I wanted to publicly apologize for arguing with mods on this board. It usually takes me a day or two to realize when I acted like a big jerk. Even if I was right about some of my points (which is questionable), Who cares? It is not appropriate to argue with folks that are doing service free of ch...	pinkchip	14	790	Apr 19, 2012 by pinkchip
	You know What Would Be really cool? (Preview) I see the step board discussions here. do you do the 12 Traditions as well. It would certainly be interesting to see something like that. just food for thought......	Wolfie55	12	619	Apr 19, 2012 by Wolfie55
	why me? or why not me? (Preview) I was just thinking that I am still blessed even when I don't feel it or see it! I deserve every blesssing that I receive. Why not me? I am a child of God who is not junk! I have purpose & a real reason to be here. I hope you all know how much you are needed & loved. I have come a long way even before I starte...	Hoot Nanny	4	381	Apr 19, 2012 by Jerry F
	Living with AH after divorce. Need suggestions (Preview) Hi, all - I'm a first time poster. My AH and I were just divorced in January. In 2 days it will be final. Over the past few years he was addicted to heroin (and kicked), put our home into forclosure (that I prevented by liquidating retirement funds) and is now drinking almost daily. When we appeared...	robin91	23	876	Apr 19, 2012 by hotrod
	checking in (Preview) I haven't been here lately as much as I have in the past, or as much as I would like to. I've been dog/house sitting for some friends who are out of the country. But I'm not comfortable leaving my home completely so I've been going back and forth in taxis with food, clothes, and dogs between friend's house i...	pineapple	13	696	Apr 19, 2012 by hotrod
	Telling the truth (Preview) I've recently (after 3 long years) decided to separate from my husband for 3 months. This has been a decision that is not at all easy to come to for me. I'm a SHM to 2 small kids with 5 pets. Completly financially dependent on my husband for the most part. In any case, after so many years of trying to keep my fa...	living for me	4	619	Apr 19, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Tell employer? (Preview) Does anyone have experience or thoughts on telling your boss about a spouse's alcoholism? I have an excellent relationship with my boss and have worked with him for nearly 15 years. I'm considering telling him what is going on just so he is aware that I may need to take time out of the office here and ther...	usedtobeanyer	19	1274	Apr 19, 2012 by hotrod
	Its scary when they start drinking and driving again (Preview) Love and hugs to all ya'll. =) Just a page from my diary... 20120417: She bought a bottle of rum yesterday. Told me that she spilt some of it to hide that she drank it. She puked at about 8:20 and went to bed at 8:30. Today, the bottle was ½ full at aobut 10:30 this morning. By 3:00 it was gone except for 1 or...	GeneralLee	26	1324	Apr 19, 2012 by hotrod
	You Know Who You Are (Preview) I just wanted to say one more thing before I peel my eyelids off the computer screen. Thank you to all my friends, especially the ones I didn't know I had until just now. I was feeling a little...I don't know...like I didn't belong. And someone noticed that I was feeling that way and we chit-chatted for a b...	Wolfie55	8	542	Apr 19, 2012 by living for me
	question (Preview) Will I KNOW, really KNOW when it's time to leave my AH? Will something come over me and I will just know? An epiphany maybe?	I am lost	13	619	Apr 19, 2012 by Auntyaya
	Sponsors (Preview) Can someone explain to me the role of a sponsor? I don't know what I would say to one or what the sponsor would do for me. I feel like I can benefit from a therapist, but what does this person do? How do I qualify for one? What would I say to this person? I am not ready for the steps yet. Do they try to convince...	member922	16	7195	Apr 18, 2012 by Tigger
	NO expectations? (Preview) I'm not sure i understand the whole "not having ANY expectations" part. In my situation I certainly have very specific expectations from my alcoholic bf. I think they fall in line with boundaries. Help me understand this...	bettyboop	16	5815	Apr 18, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Those A-Ha moments... (Preview) Last night I arrived at my meeting and as I sat down I asked HP to allow me to learn and to help me share something that might help others. Before the program started the shoe incident came to my mind. Easter weekend on Easter Sunday I got my sdaughter bathed and curled her hair and then it was time to get dres...	Jackie11	7	593	Apr 18, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Hurtful sponsor experience (Preview) I've just had a really horrible and upsetting experience with a sponsor. I have been coming to alanon just over a year and had the sponsor since november. I am an acoa and don't trust easily (or trust the wrong people!) I have taken risks sharing with her and really worked hard and looked deeply at myself...	Tigger	12	962	Apr 18, 2012 by orchidlover
	So starts MY journey... (Preview) After reading the posts here for the last few days, I went to not one but two Al-Anon meetings tonight. I was very anxious and was pretty sure I wold cry through the whole thing...suprinsingly I did not. I listened carefully and learned a few things. I have started to feel better already, in the sense tha...	bettyboop	8	563	Apr 18, 2012 by living for me
	Broken boundries again, kicked him out (Preview) Well it happened again, my AS broke the boundries but this time i was strong enough to tell him not to come home. Did pretty good all week with the calls asking for money because he was hungry and had not eaten, (he does not have a job) the last call pulled hard on my heart I didn't give in but it seems like it is...	debbiems	7	1048	Apr 18, 2012 by living for me
	Setting Boundaries for me is a process (Preview) I've heard the "pendulum" theory - you swing one way for years with no boundaries, then you swing the other way for awhile with "hyper boundaries" then you find the middle. I don't know about others but for me, it never quite lands in the middle. I think that's because I'm always...	AStrongerMe	6	741	Apr 18, 2012 by orchidlover
	Big step in Recovery, Senior Project. (Preview) Hi there, my name is Nicole. I am a Senior at Boise State University. I recently ended a long term relationship with someone who abused alcohol regularly. Over the course of two years I changed and became a weak person that eventually, no one would recognize. I was depressed with no solution ahead of me...	nicoleinrecovery	3	609	Apr 18, 2012 by Jerry F
	Newbie (Preview) Im new here and I really just need someone to talk too. Here is my background. My father is an alcoholic although my parents divorced since I was 3 (29 yrs ago). My father was also really bad into drugs (crack/cocain). When they divorced my mother, brother and I got a place with my mom's new bf who was also a...	I am lost	9	667	Apr 18, 2012 by nine
	New Here...Waiting for the Next Time (Preview) Hi. I went to my first F2F last week and plan to go again tomorrow. It has been 2 weeks since AH last drinking episode and I feel like I am trying to believe him but deep inside don't believe that he has stopped drinking, maybe for now, but not for good. I do believe he hasn't drank in the 2 weeks but since he i...	DogMom	11	634	Apr 18, 2012 by nine
	a new metaphor (Preview) So much of evaluating my life is about unentangling what was me and what was the other person. For me one of the principal grief sticking points has been that I grew up in such abuse/neglect and chaos. Since then I think I view everyone else as an adult and me as a child/victim. Now I'm having to see throu...	orchidlover	7	598	Apr 18, 2012 by ilovedogs
	I'm an emotional drunk .. (Preview) Something that I really really really wanted to share from this weekend were two things I heard from the same speaker. We had panels and then breakout sessions, one of the speakers on the panel spoke about what it was to be an emotional drunk and the blackouts that occur with that fix. I had more AHA mom...	Pushka	15	4008	Apr 18, 2012 by pineapple
	Hate how I'm feeling today! (Preview) Today has been one of those days, I'm sure many of you can relate. For some reason, I am getting irritated at myself because I still don't trust my AH. I have forgiven him for all the crap and for the DUI, but I still find myself struggling with trust issues. My therapist thinks that maybe he hasn't hit hi...	ilovedogs	9	705	Apr 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	enmeshment (Preview) I grew up totally glued to my family. Unsticking myself from them took me decades, moving thousands of miles away. Guess what once I moved from my family since that's all I knew that's all I did. I dated co workers in intrigue, dated next door neighbors (the ex was actually a roommate at one point) dat...	orchidlover	6	785	Apr 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	It just goes on and on... (Preview) I'm humbled by how powerful this disease is. Despite attending AA meetings 3 times per week for over 2 years, despite a 30 day stint in an outpatient rehab, despite daily interactions with her sponsor and program people, despite spending this past weekend at a spiritual retreat with other female alc...	usedtobeanyer	14	1019	Apr 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	I Think That's About Enough For Me (Preview) Oops. I forgot to put the rest of the post in here. We hear a lot in Al-Anon about unconditional love. Such love makes no demands, exacts no payment, has no expectations. we are free to give it without anticipating or even wanting anything in return because the experience of loving in this way is so rewar...	Wolfie55	5	707	Apr 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	Lying (Preview) Hi everyone! I'm new here. I went to my first Al-anon meeting this week and found a warm environment, full of loving people. After the meeting, a woman took me aside and talked with me. When I asked her about the lying, she was so nonchalant about it. "oh, lying is just part of the disease.&quo...	house cat	18	892	Apr 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	trying to own my power (Preview) Hi All, I am gaining lots of awreness lately although I do not like what I am seeing I know my Hp would not bring it to me unless he thought I was ready to handle it. I am realising how much I have given my power away. My head is a little clearer and I have really been focusing on my recovery. My ex ABF has been ba...	Tracy	4	552	Apr 17, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Moving Day ACK! (Preview) Lots of changes happening fast! I'm a little anxious, but remembering that these changes are GOOD. And what I am leaving behind is a life that was slowly killing me. Packing up my car with all my earthly belongings today and leaving the home I shared with my AH...f2f meeting, yes I will make the time.....	Dolly Llama	6	721	Apr 17, 2012 by hotrod
	I finally cried at a meeting (Preview) After a year of meetings I guess I finally let my guard down enough for that... At this evening's meeting, I admitted feeling suicidal, and that the only reason I'm not dead is because my sister will need life-long care and I have to stay alive for that. I'm proud of the way my fellow Al-Anon members react...	atheos	10	662	Apr 17, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	I actually did it! (Preview) I actually cleaned on sat. It doesn't totallylook like it but progress not perfection. I just spent a couple of hours, took breaks and was basically satisfied. No one would really notice but me but that is OK today. I am a work in progress. It looks like I might have to go back into that room this coming Sat...	Hoot Nanny	1	430	Apr 16, 2012 by GailMichelle
	I need advice (Preview) Hi, My father has a drinking problem. It has been going on for about 15 years and i really dont see how its going to stop. I have 2 older brothers who feel the same as me. We love our dad but the mood swings and stepping on egg shells is getting to breaking point. My mum and dad are still together and she just le...	help needed	6	676	Apr 16, 2012 by AsphyxiateOnMisery
	Light as a Feather (Preview) My husband and I took this pottery class tonight. It was so special to create something with my hands, you know.. the pieces did not have to be perfect or even close to it but to know I was getting my hands dirty and constructing something of use and uniquely mine... out of just a wet ball of clay. It was re...	Michelle814	7	597	Apr 16, 2012 by Jackie11
	Unhooking (little ventish :)) (Preview) I have had an interesting experience over the past few weeks of having that whole stomach dropping feeling and not been thinking about my AH however recognizing that I'm unhooking from his drama that he wants to create. This whole trip with my mom here I am so sure he has no idea what a jerk he was to me and...	Pushka	10	725	Apr 16, 2012 by hotrod
	help (Preview) I am living with a man who drinks about every other day, at least 8 beers at a time, not to mention vodka. after 3 or 4 beers, his personality changes and he becomes the nastiest person ever. i can't take it anymore and need to move, but I have nowhere to go. This man reminds me of my dad who I now care for an...	too tired 61	8	647	Apr 15, 2012 by Jennifer
	Today is a good day (Preview) Today is a Good Day. I think its important that we share that sometimes, too.	Wolfie55	3	379	Apr 15, 2012 by Jerry F
	Acceptance, Struggles, Grieving (Preview) It has been a TOUGH week. Last week I was back at work and sad, but coping fairly well. This week has been awful. I miss my mom so much. And while my AH has dialed back his rage a ton over the last few months, and in the week or so surrounding my mom's death was kinder and more supportive than he's been in year...	stephaniej	10	711	Apr 15, 2012 by Michelle814
	The Gift of Desperation (Preview) I heard a popular preacher last night (Joyce Meyer, she was great!) and a phrase during someone's testimony stuck with me. This particular lady said she was a former drug addict and just had a really unforunate life, a victim of sexual assaults, abortions after being raped, etc, just really sad stuf...	Dolly Llama	5	818	Apr 15, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Say it and say it out loud... (Preview) Aloha Family...I've been pondering the Police Commission meeting which was called this last Friday. They were hearing my complaint of the assault and I went. They have open meetings just like Al-Anon...LOL however it isn't a Family Group meeting except for yours truely. My PTSD and lack of sle...	Jerry F	10	589	Apr 15, 2012 by Peggy7
	Just a funny with my Al-Anon spouse (Preview) My spouse and I work for the same outfit. She is hourly and I am on contract which allows me to be outside taking care of their property and just enjoying all the lovely HP artwork. It is a hotel and I come in contact with some of the guest from time to time both men and women. I tell my wife about all of the i...	Jerry F	6	875	Apr 15, 2012 by Peggy7
	The Bird of Paradise (Preview) that is what my Avatar picture is and no I'm not supposing you all don't know. I put that up because I got introduced to this one particular bloom in my neighbors yard and it stole my attention and I had to get a picture of it for my photo file. It's not like other flowers in its shape...It has one petal whi...	Jerry F	11	535	Apr 15, 2012 by Peggy7
	am i enabling (Preview) I am new here so please bear with me as I learn the process. I need suggestions, I am a strong believer in prayer and God but I still need someone to talk to. My daughter who was a heroin addict for 9 years is living with me and her baby 10mths, for the last 3 weeks I have been babysitting from 5 am til 11 pm 6 da...	danash	28	862	Apr 15, 2012 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.