Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

daisy31 · daisy31

Wednesday, May 12, 2010 You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go Intimacy We can let ourselves be close to people. Many of us have deeply ingrained patterns for sabotaging relationships. Some of us may instinctively terminate a relationship once it moves to a certain level of closene...

JamisonWestfork · JamisonWestfork

I am basically brand new to Al-Anon. I've been to 2 meetings locally and have read a little on here. And i guess I'm trying to figure out a way, or where, to get started. I understand that I have no control over what my addict does. But yet, when it's a spouse, how can you have no expectations? I guess i'm wond...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

The word I pulled out of my god box today was FEAR. I was raised in a violent alcoholic household. My father was abusive to my mother on numerous occassions. She would always leave him when things got too bad, scoop all us children up and off we'd go to the old Belmont Hotel down by the waterfront (cheap pla...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

My son has started experimenting with pot. He got caught, his friends got caught. Lots of anger and emotions from kids and parents. Directed everywhere. When I forbid him from going out tonight I showed a lot of anger. He ended up sneaking out, I drove to the place he said he was going to be and I think...

inneedofsupport · inneedofsupport

this is my first time visiting this site and i stumbled across it while i'm at the impass of some critical decisions. i've been married for almost 10 years, have 2 young kids, and was feeling almost content with a decision to tell my alcoholic husband that we need to separate. i told my parent for the firs...

Augustus · Augustus

Hello everyone, I am dealing with a codependent/helplessly addicted wife of 14 years. I have 3 children and I am self employed and feel that I have no life of my own anymore. There is so much to write and so many incidents, but I will try to be concise and simple. My wife's health has diminished to the point...

foxgoddess · foxgoddess

Day 1 was yesterday. Was involved w/ someone who fell off the wagon the week before we started dating a year ago Feb. He wanted to "socially drink" and thought it wasn't a problem b/c he was a former cocaine user. Within 3 weeks it led to total drunkeness, and then I became aware he had to have Xa...

living for me · living for me

After living with my alcoholic, pot-smoking husband for 13 years (3 of them actively engaged in the cycle of using/relapsing) I've decided to leave for three months with my two little girls. I am so scared. I've never been this scared in my life. I'm basically giving up everything and walking away. We...

Pushka · Pushka

I had a major AHA moment last night at a step meeting .. boy oh boy did it open me up to a lot of tears last night and today. We're doing the 4th step and they were talking about assets and that set me off. Water works city .. LOL .. WOW .. I didn't think I had more tears left today and they have flowed off and on al...

daisy31 · daisy31

WoOah! I am coming to terms lately that I think I may INDEED be a control freak! I never would have thought that would be ME????. I am seeing just how I can try to control things like for instance: I do my husbands hair how I like to, I buy him shirts I like on him, I force him to let me trim his ear hair...hah...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

I don't have kids, but I hear from people who do that worrying about your children is part and parcel of being a parent. And that parents tend to always see the little child when they look to their adult children. I get that. My mother has made a career out of telling me how much she worries, can't sleep at n...

emil · emil

Hi Everyone Last night, I went to a face to face meeting. I stayed for the beginning meeting and topic meeting. I voulunteered to be a greeter, so that will help be more consistent attending meetings. The support and the slogans are really beginning to help. The slogans are changing from words o...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I just posted this on the AA Board but I liked it so much I wanted to post it here. I went for a walk yesterday to the corner store. I was going over some stuff in my head. I sponsor a woman who is not only an alcoholic but also a crack and hydromorphone addict. I can't really help her with that and have suggested...

emil · emil

A couple of nights ago my husband was drinking non alcoholic beer. He poured it in a red cup. I suddenly was thinking perhaps he switched it for a real beer and found myself looking in the garbage. It was a minor regression, but I was was actually surprised I did it. I really have to work my program; I c...

maire rua · maire rua

Recently my son was involved in a hold up of a store where the owner was hurt by the car he was a passenger in, I rang my son today to tell him that the man had been finally released from hospital. I think I cared more than he did. I am still very angry over the situation and while some are telling me that I must st...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

I've been absent from the board for a little while because my computer moved out with my husband in early February. But I need some help working through my latest heartbreak, so I'm sneaking on my work computer. My AH husband moved out in Feb, after a 18 year relationship because I said NO MORE. This l...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha all...the Easter Feaster is my home groups (AA) annual tradition breakfast potluck after the meeting. I draws a crowd and part of the crowd is made up of members who haven't seen each other for a while...at least a year. The fallout came this morning as I was talking with one of my friends who at...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AH and I have decided to proceed with a divorce. We've been separated for a year as of this weekend and between his continued drinking problem and our financial mess due to his poor business decisions (albeit, decisions that were made with a pickled brain), there were really no other options left. I...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I need help and I know its the right place! I am about to separate from my AH end of June, which is end of school. My daughter doesnt know yet, reason being she needs to write her exams without extra stress, which is fine. My Ah and I have never agreed on parenting rules, him wanting to be her friend, me acting...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hey everyone, lap top is broken yet again so I don't have as much access to this site as I usually do. Just wanted to say that I hope you all had a wonderful Easter as mine was very quiet and peaceful. All the best <3 Corgi

sam1609 · sam1609

How do you detach from your kids. They are hurting so much from the chaos that was caused in their lives and are causing even more chaos, because they don't know any better.

willowtree · willowtree

Hello everyone. I have been struggeling somewhat with being organized. I made 2 scheduling mistakes with my kids basketball games today and they missed them both. My husband was very frusterated with me. I do tend to not follow through with things sometimes and I remember that I have been aware t...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all my ex ABf started drinking again about 6 weeks ago and is in a really bad place. We had a chat couple of days agao I seperated from him as soon as he picked up I can not live with active drinking. He has been in AA for 3 years and maanged 9 months sober once. I have uped my meetings and just started attenin...

nicoleinrecovery · nicoleinrecovery

Hi there, my name is Nicole. I am a Senior at Boise State University. I recently ended a long term relationship with someone who abused alcohol regularly. Over the course of two years I changed and became a weak person that eventually, no one would recognize. I was depressed with no solution ahead of me...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Hi! I think I already know the answer, I've a situation where my daughter and I are not talking agggain, she isn't returning my calls. I spoke to my 7 y.o. granddaughter's father who she lives with, he told me is very excited about coming on spring break, she has been gone since Dec. she is 4-5hrs. driv...

thechee · thechee

I'm getting a little more comfortable and share a bit. The people are SO nice and caring. I'm learning little by little (I know it's a long haul), but I'm motivated. What I'm feeling now is the sadness when I get the 'blocked' phone calls that I know are from him....that he is thinking about me, and unfort...

pickles77 · pickles77

Hi- i went to my first al anon meeting today. it was great! everyone was so nice to me and i felt really welcomed. i was given a newcomers packet and i can't believe how much i've learned already. i have a lot of work ahead of me, but i'm ready. i look forward to getting to know you guys.

CCM35 · CCM35

My dad committed sucide last year and now I'm taking care of my mother in her late 70's. Mom was always a "functional alcoholic" who drank at lunch but held down a job and just got wasted with dad over the weekends. Last night I seriously thought she had overdosed taking ambein as well as drink...

Pushka · Pushka

Or maybe it's falling down and learning. Nothing changes .. nothing changes. Well, seriously nothing has changed, I'm not here to take his inventory .. with no program of recovery, with no follow through on his part. It is what it is .. I just can't allow the chaos back into our home. I know I deserve...

stacie · stacie

I am new and this is my first post, my son has drank 7 nights a week for the last 7 years and says he doesnt have a problem, he lost his job last year, and seems more than happy to sit round, doing nothing, and letting everyone run round after him, I threw him out of the family home a year ago and he has never forgi...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

Have you been there? Just feeling *off* somehow, something vague, but enough to know something is dragging on you? At first I thought it was disappointment in myself for not taking action on a personal goal. But I started on it yesterday, and don't feel any better today. (But am proud I took the firs...

glad · glad

I think it's been about six months since my last post. 19 months since my ex alcoholic long term boyfriend and I split 10 months since we officially called it DONE about 3 months since I've been less than miserably depressed and not thinking of either him or how much I wasted with him and one day since I...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I am moving forward.. but man, I am emotionally exhausted. All the meditation is starting to wear me out. I don't think I can handle the spiritual overload. I came from no faith so this is all new. My soul if probably happy but my brain hurts. I asked my husband if he was high tonight. Why did I do that? I kn...

Sunshine daydream · Sunshine daydream

Now that I've begun to see it, I see my A's selfishness daily. When I walk in the door I give him a hug and then he stairs at me. "do I get a kiss?". It's like a twisted test of love. Then I notice he never asks "how are YOU?". Even after I told him earlier that I was feeling miserable. Ju...

rehprof · rehprof

Remember the character from Charlie Brown who had the cloud of dirt around him? That's me -- only it isn't dirt, it is negative attitude. I know it's HALT..but I had a meltdown last night...I'm SO tired, and can't keep up with the demands on me. This morning I'm feeling guilty..I don't want to be that per...

michellelong · michellelong

Hello again, well my AH started texting me yesterday morning and calling telling me he was dying.....asking for help. He kept asking to come home but I said that I was not counselor nor a rehad facility and that (I) could not help him. He was coming down off off cocaine and alcohol at this point so he was go...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

Thanks so much to everyone that responded to my post from yesterday titled something like 'how many times can your heart break'. I needed perspective, I needed support, and you gave it to me. Last night I went home after work to a quiet, peaceful house with my two sweet baby dogs, and I thought about...

Timid · Timid

This is so hard for me to talk about. My husband will come home from rehab after sixty days, next week. I'm happy to have him come home but I'm so afraid of my own behavior . I am so used to letting my emotions reflect how he feels. If he was sad I felt sad, if he was angry etc, so was I. How hard it is to detach. He is...

Bead · Bead

Just got home from my face to face meeting. I finally had the opprotunity and the nerve to ask the person I wanted to be my sponser. I just feel like I've made a huge step in recovery and it feels great. Just wanted to share.

living for me · living for me

I've been married for 13 years and have 3 and 5 year old little girls. My husband is a binge drinker and a pot smoker. He has been in a 12 step program since July 2011 when I found out he drove drunk with our daughters in the car and told him I'd reached the end of my rope. I knew he was going to continue with this b...

nola · nola

Please help me. Been in the program for three months and I can barely hold on. I don't know how to move on. I just keep getting hit with one crisis after another which I have no control over. I doubt Gods plan for me is working. My father is dying and I don't know how much more I can take. I have no one to turn to. M...

rehprof · rehprof

Had a very good meeting with my counselor...which I so needed. It seems he wants me to acknowledge my anger....and respond in appropriate ways. Anger is a signal that people have crossed a boundary...but once I feel angry...right on its heels is SHAME for being angry. Nice girls aren't angry. You all...

IWannaFly · IWannaFly

Where to begin. This is my first time here looking for guidance and strength. I grew up with an addict & alcoholic parents. My personal life has been a mess forever. Now in my 40's I'm here trying to fix me, my thinking and behaviors. I've only had 2 serious relationships with men, both were active a...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

You'd think that I know by now to NOT set any expectations from my AH. Yet, lately I feel so desperate for attention that I find myself falling into my codie trap all over again. So, for Easter I got him a nice card. I wrote a heartfelt note saying that spring is for renewal and that I was thanking God for g...

Pushka · Pushka

This was something that came up in a discussion I was having today after a meeting. I'm curious to hear what you all think of this .. love as a shield .. How do I get there? Does anyone practice this concept? What does it mean to you? Whatever ESH regarding love as a shield (both for outward to the world a...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I posted a comment just a few minutes ago that was inappropriate. I have no excuse. I deleted the comment and I hope I didn't offend anyone other than the moderator who brought it to my attention.

Julie3310 · Julie3310

so im kind of nervous. It has been over 3 months since I let my crack addict ex-boyfriend go. Heard through the grapevine he could be getting out this Friday. I have slowly growing and working on my happiness and it all was because I put him out of sight and out of mind. I am nervous and I am nervous and anxio...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Another post talks some about being alone on holidays and I wanted to address the issue in a new topic. I have to say, that for the past year I have enjoyed every holiday because I've been able to relax and truly enjoy them, taking them back and making them for me again. No more making it all about him and wha...

nothopeless · nothopeless

i have been attending f2f meetings and I realize that my AS is too dependent on me. I know this is how I contributed to his addition. I am going out of town for a few days and he is worried about his transportation as he can not drive and we live miles from town, he is stressed about making it to work. he is livi...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I know fear is something that is ruling my emotions these days. I sometimes see fear as an inability to trust God, yet I also see it as a means of protection for my soul. As negative an emotion that fear is, I do believe that it has it's place. It's giving me the confidence to believe that things will work...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I'm back home again. I arrived home to a beautiful front yard, flowers in the house and a peaceful environment. I don't know what the future holds but I know I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I've also complicated the relationship between my AH and my family. My parents have always been where I went whe...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have been doing really well and been feeling so strong, my acceptance has been great. Than last night I was lonesome and needed someone to hold me. I went over to my exAH's and it was nice and he was sweet. I however wish I could get my fulfillment some other way by someone else. I have not let anyone else in...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yesterday I got some of the insurance money that my dad left us. It was a good thing & of course a sad thing. The check even said on the attachment that they were sending comfort or something at the time of our loss. It was quite a big check for me to receive because I haven't had that kind of money to spend...

MaryODAT · MaryODAT

We have good meetings in my area. Their website is nar-anon.org.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am struggling with stress & anxiety so much that I am angry and misunderstanding what people are doing and saying to me! I am forgetful and so tired. I haven't even been doing my regular exercising. I was burning the candle at both ends and finally got sick-physically. I hope I can get back on tr...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I let myself be drawn into the extreme chaos of my AH's detox. I stopped focusing on my recovery. I took back my will and my HP slapped me across the face with it reminding me I need to surrender. I made things worse by being drawn into the control of things I have no control over. No human power will remove my...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I grew up in a home where my parents absolutely felt obligated to attention, drama and whatever crumbs of energy I have. So as a result I've always been prey to others who have a sense of entitlement. In the last year I was approached by someone who used to live next door to me. He dumped his ex girlfriend b...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

I'm ready to start my 4th step and am looking around for a sponsor. I've gotten comfortable at one particular weekly meeting, and have just started going to others as I can. I'm not sure how to shop around for a sponsor. I feel hesitant to walk up to a stranger after a meeting and just ask. I know this is...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Please share your opinions on how you feel about this. There's a part of me that wonders if my AH is trying to find ways to drink again and there's a part of me that believes he is just thinking of ways to minimize the frustration of the ignition interlock device. I posted this on another forum and most of...

KDglen · KDglen

Hi all - i've attended a couple of al-anon meetings and find them incredibly helpful. i would probably go nightly if i could! currently, my wife is not supporting my intention to begin attending a late-evening meeting (8:15 start). i could leave the house right around when our youngsters are asleep...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	This read on Intimacy nails it for me (Preview) Wednesday, May 12, 2010 You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go Intimacy We can let ourselves be close to people. Many of us have deeply ingrained patterns for sabotaging relationships. Some of us may instinctively terminate a relationship once it moves to a certain level of closene...	daisy31	4	433	Apr 11, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Expectations (Preview) I am basically brand new to Al-Anon. I've been to 2 meetings locally and have read a little on here. And i guess I'm trying to figure out a way, or where, to get started. I understand that I have no control over what my addict does. But yet, when it's a spouse, how can you have no expectations? I guess i'm wond...	JamisonWestfork	4	802	Apr 11, 2012 by bettyboop
	Sometimes I Miss the Cage (Preview) The word I pulled out of my god box today was FEAR. I was raised in a violent alcoholic household. My father was abusive to my mother on numerous occassions. She would always leave him when things got too bad, scoop all us children up and off we'd go to the old Belmont Hotel down by the waterfront (cheap pla...	Wolfie55	5	562	Apr 11, 2012 by Jerry F
	need a prayer (Preview) My son has started experimenting with pot. He got caught, his friends got caught. Lots of anger and emotions from kids and parents. Directed everywhere. When I forbid him from going out tonight I showed a lot of anger. He ended up sneaking out, I drove to the place he said he was going to be and I think...	DadtoCandE	7	665	Apr 11, 2012 by maryjane
	newby - overhwhelmed with decisions (Preview) this is my first time visiting this site and i stumbled across it while i'm at the impass of some critical decisions. i've been married for almost 10 years, have 2 young kids, and was feeling almost content with a decision to tell my alcoholic husband that we need to separate. i told my parent for the firs...	inneedofsupport	4	490	Apr 11, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Maliciously indifferent wife (Preview) Hello everyone, I am dealing with a codependent/helplessly addicted wife of 14 years. I have 3 children and I am self employed and feel that I have no life of my own anymore. There is so much to write and so many incidents, but I will try to be concise and simple. My wife's health has diminished to the point...	Augustus	16	1101	Apr 11, 2012 by Augustus
	just started Al Anon (Preview) Day 1 was yesterday. Was involved w/ someone who fell off the wagon the week before we started dating a year ago Feb. He wanted to "socially drink" and thought it wasn't a problem b/c he was a former cocaine user. Within 3 weeks it led to total drunkeness, and then I became aware he had to have Xa...	foxgoddess	3	282	Apr 11, 2012 by Breakingfree
	TIme Out (Preview) After living with my alcoholic, pot-smoking husband for 13 years (3 of them actively engaged in the cycle of using/relapsing) I've decided to leave for three months with my two little girls. I am so scared. I've never been this scared in my life. I'm basically giving up everything and walking away. We...	living for me	10	413	Apr 11, 2012 by nola
	Emotionally vulnerable (Preview) I had a major AHA moment last night at a step meeting .. boy oh boy did it open me up to a lot of tears last night and today. We're doing the 4th step and they were talking about assets and that set me off. Water works city .. LOL .. WOW .. I didn't think I had more tears left today and they have flowed off and on al...	Pushka	15	554	Apr 11, 2012 by Doozy
	I think I may be a control freak! (Preview) WoOah! I am coming to terms lately that I think I may INDEED be a control freak! I never would have thought that would be ME????. I am seeing just how I can try to control things like for instance: I do my husbands hair how I like to, I buy him shirts I like on him, I force him to let me trim his ear hair...hah...	daisy31	11	727	Apr 11, 2012 by Doozy
	Forever babied- Advice on dealing with mother! (Preview) I don't have kids, but I hear from people who do that worrying about your children is part and parcel of being a parent. And that parents tend to always see the little child when they look to their adult children. I get that. My mother has made a career out of telling me how much she worries, can't sleep at n...	Dolly Llama	19	744	Apr 11, 2012 by Doozy
	went to a face to face meeting (Preview) Hi Everyone Last night, I went to a face to face meeting. I stayed for the beginning meeting and topic meeting. I voulunteered to be a greeter, so that will help be more consistent attending meetings. The support and the slogans are really beginning to help. The slogans are changing from words o...	emil	4	527	Apr 11, 2012 by Karen S
	How Much Time You Got Buddy? (Preview) I just posted this on the AA Board but I liked it so much I wanted to post it here. I went for a walk yesterday to the corner store. I was going over some stuff in my head. I sponsor a woman who is not only an alcoholic but also a crack and hydromorphone addict. I can't really help her with that and have suggested...	Wolfie55	22	1123	Apr 11, 2012 by Wolfie55
	surprised I would go back to old habits (Preview) A couple of nights ago my husband was drinking non alcoholic beer. He poured it in a red cup. I suddenly was thinking perhaps he switched it for a real beer and found myself looking in the garbage. It was a minor regression, but I was was actually surprised I did it. I really have to work my program; I c...	emil	2	283	Apr 11, 2012 by ilovedogs
	feeling very hurt with actions of A-son (Preview) Recently my son was involved in a hold up of a store where the owner was hurt by the car he was a passenger in, I rang my son today to tell him that the man had been finally released from hospital. I think I cared more than he did. I am still very angry over the situation and while some are telling me that I must st...	maire rua	5	570	Apr 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	How many times can you heart break (Preview) I've been absent from the board for a little while because my computer moved out with my husband in early February. But I need some help working through my latest heartbreak, so I'm sneaking on my work computer. My AH husband moved out in Feb, after a 18 year relationship because I said NO MORE. This l...	Iris lover of dogs	18	728	Apr 11, 2012 by Iris lover of dogs
	Easter Feaster fallout (Preview) Aloha all...the Easter Feaster is my home groups (AA) annual tradition breakfast potluck after the meeting. I draws a crowd and part of the crowd is made up of members who haven't seen each other for a while...at least a year. The fallout came this morning as I was talking with one of my friends who at...	Jerry F	8	523	Apr 10, 2012 by Aloha
	We're Done- Mixed Feelings Divorce moving forward (Preview) My AH and I have decided to proceed with a divorce. We've been separated for a year as of this weekend and between his continued drinking problem and our financial mess due to his poor business decisions (albeit, decisions that were made with a pickled brain), there were really no other options left. I...	Green Eyes	13	7487	Apr 10, 2012 by Auntyaya
	how to set up boundaries with teenager? (Preview) I need help and I know its the right place! I am about to separate from my AH end of June, which is end of school. My daughter doesnt know yet, reason being she needs to write her exams without extra stress, which is fine. My Ah and I have never agreed on parenting rules, him wanting to be her friend, me acting...	Crazy Frog	12	828	Apr 10, 2012 by sam1609
	Peaceful Easter (Preview) Hey everyone, lap top is broken yet again so I don't have as much access to this site as I usually do. Just wanted to say that I hope you all had a wonderful Easter as mine was very quiet and peaceful. All the best <3 Corgi	Corgi2	4	302	Apr 10, 2012 by Jerry F
	teenagers, drama- detachment (Preview) How do you detach from your kids. They are hurting so much from the chaos that was caused in their lives and are causing even more chaos, because they don't know any better.	sam1609	10	720	Apr 10, 2012 by sam1609
	A pattern of pushing people away (Preview) Hello everyone. I have been struggeling somewhat with being organized. I made 2 scheduling mistakes with my kids basketball games today and they missed them both. My husband was very frusterated with me. I do tend to not follow through with things sometimes and I remember that I have been aware t...	willowtree	7	651	Apr 10, 2012 by abbyal
	tired (Preview) Hi all my ex ABf started drinking again about 6 weeks ago and is in a really bad place. We had a chat couple of days agao I seperated from him as soon as he picked up I can not live with active drinking. He has been in AA for 3 years and maanged 9 months sober once. I have uped my meetings and just started attenin...	Tracy	7	432	Apr 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Final step to recovery. (Preview) Hi there, my name is Nicole. I am a Senior at Boise State University. I recently ended a long term relationship with someone who abused alcohol regularly. Over the course of two years I changed and became a weak person that eventually, no one would recognize. I was depressed with no solution ahead of me...	nicoleinrecovery	1	409	Apr 9, 2012 by maryjane
	"Sick and tired of being sick and tired " of A/A daugher's business (Preview) Hi! I think I already know the answer, I've a situation where my daughter and I are not talking agggain, she isn't returning my calls. I spoke to my 7 y.o. granddaughter's father who she lives with, he told me is very excited about coming on spring break, she has been gone since Dec. she is 4-5hrs. driv...	Highlyfavored	2	341	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	3 Al Anon Meetings....yay!!! (Preview) I'm getting a little more comfortable and share a bit. The people are SO nice and caring. I'm learning little by little (I know it's a long haul), but I'm motivated. What I'm feeling now is the sadness when I get the 'blocked' phone calls that I know are from him....that he is thinking about me, and unfort...	thechee	5	306	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	First meeting today! (Preview) Hi- i went to my first al anon meeting today. it was great! everyone was so nice to me and i felt really welcomed. i was given a newcomers packet and i can't believe how much i've learned already. i have a lot of work ahead of me, but i'm ready. i look forward to getting to know you guys.	pickles77	6	284	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Newbie taking care of mom (Preview) My dad committed sucide last year and now I'm taking care of my mother in her late 70's. Mom was always a "functional alcoholic" who drank at lunch but held down a job and just got wasted with dad over the weekends. Last night I seriously thought she had overdosed taking ambein as well as drink...	CCM35	6	381	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Learning and falling down (Preview) Or maybe it's falling down and learning. Nothing changes .. nothing changes. Well, seriously nothing has changed, I'm not here to take his inventory .. with no program of recovery, with no follow through on his part. It is what it is .. I just can't allow the chaos back into our home. I know I deserve...	Pushka	12	526	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Heartbroken and confused (Preview) I am new and this is my first post, my son has drank 7 nights a week for the last 7 years and says he doesnt have a problem, he lost his job last year, and seems more than happy to sit round, doing nothing, and letting everyone run round after him, I threw him out of the family home a year ago and he has never forgi...	stacie	6	605	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Hard to identify this feeling (Preview) Have you been there? Just feeling off somehow, something vague, but enough to know something is dragging on you? At first I thought it was disappointment in myself for not taking action on a personal goal. But I started on it yesterday, and don't feel any better today. (But am proud I took the firs...	Dolly Llama	10	696	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	I need the anger (Preview) I think it's been about six months since my last post. 19 months since my ex alcoholic long term boyfriend and I split 10 months since we officially called it DONE about 3 months since I've been less than miserably depressed and not thinking of either him or how much I wasted with him and one day since I...	glad	6	417	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Overwhelmed (Preview) I am moving forward.. but man, I am emotionally exhausted. All the meditation is starting to wear me out. I don't think I can handle the spiritual overload. I came from no faith so this is all new. My soul if probably happy but my brain hurts. I asked my husband if he was high tonight. Why did I do that? I kn...	Michelle814	11	451	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	The selfishn-ness (Preview) Now that I've begun to see it, I see my A's selfishness daily. When I walk in the door I give him a hug and then he stairs at me. "do I get a kiss?". It's like a twisted test of love. Then I notice he never asks "how are YOU?". Even after I told him earlier that I was feeling miserable. Ju...	Sunshine daydream	11	611	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Channeling "Pig Pen" (Preview) Remember the character from Charlie Brown who had the cloud of dirt around him? That's me -- only it isn't dirt, it is negative attitude. I know it's HALT..but I had a meltdown last night...I'm SO tired, and can't keep up with the demands on me. This morning I'm feeling guilty..I don't want to be that per...	rehprof	4	466	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Husband in detox (Preview) Hello again, well my AH started texting me yesterday morning and calling telling me he was dying.....asking for help. He kept asking to come home but I said that I was not counselor nor a rehad facility and that (I) could not help him. He was coming down off off cocaine and alcohol at this point so he was go...	michellelong	9	832	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Thank you all for your inspiration - I am back on track (Preview) Thanks so much to everyone that responded to my post from yesterday titled something like 'how many times can your heart break'. I needed perspective, I needed support, and you gave it to me. Last night I went home after work to a quiet, peaceful house with my two sweet baby dogs, and I thought about...	Iris lover of dogs	2	298	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Husband in rehab (Preview) This is so hard for me to talk about. My husband will come home from rehab after sixty days, next week. I'm happy to have him come home but I'm so afraid of my own behavior . I am so used to letting my emotions reflect how he feels. If he was sad I felt sad, if he was angry etc, so was I. How hard it is to detach. He is...	Timid	7	502	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Finally (Preview) Just got home from my face to face meeting. I finally had the opprotunity and the nerve to ask the person I wanted to be my sponser. I just feel like I've made a huge step in recovery and it feels great. Just wanted to share.	Bead	5	297	Apr 9, 2012 by Pushka
	Newbie with Alcoholic Pot Smoking Husband SHM alcoholic pot daughters (Preview) I've been married for 13 years and have 3 and 5 year old little girls. My husband is a binge drinker and a pot smoker. He has been in a 12 step program since July 2011 when I found out he drove drunk with our daughters in the car and told him I'd reached the end of my rope. I knew he was going to continue with this b...	living for me	7	6479	Apr 9, 2012 by living for me
	how to move on (Preview) Please help me. Been in the program for three months and I can barely hold on. I don't know how to move on. I just keep getting hit with one crisis after another which I have no control over. I doubt Gods plan for me is working. My father is dying and I don't know how much more I can take. I have no one to turn to. M...	nola	8	623	Apr 9, 2012 by nmike
	Pig Pen went out last night! (Preview) Had a very good meeting with my counselor...which I so needed. It seems he wants me to acknowledge my anger....and respond in appropriate ways. Anger is a signal that people have crossed a boundary...but once I feel angry...right on its heels is SHAME for being angry. Nice girls aren't angry. You all...	rehprof	6	637	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	No More Catepillar (Preview) Where to begin. This is my first time here looking for guidance and strength. I grew up with an addict & alcoholic parents. My personal life has been a mess forever. Now in my 40's I'm here trying to fix me, my thinking and behaviors. I've only had 2 serious relationships with men, both were active a...	IWannaFly	6	568	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Expectations that lead to resentments, DUH! (Preview) You'd think that I know by now to NOT set any expectations from my AH. Yet, lately I feel so desperate for attention that I find myself falling into my codie trap all over again. So, for Easter I got him a nice card. I wrote a heartfelt note saying that spring is for renewal and that I was thanking God for g...	ilovedogs	6	584	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Love as a shield (Preview) This was something that came up in a discussion I was having today after a meeting. I'm curious to hear what you all think of this .. love as a shield .. How do I get there? Does anyone practice this concept? What does it mean to you? Whatever ESH regarding love as a shield (both for outward to the world a...	Pushka	10	497	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Apology (Preview) I posted a comment just a few minutes ago that was inappropriate. I have no excuse. I deleted the comment and I hope I didn't offend anyone other than the moderator who brought it to my attention.	Wolfie55	1	446	Apr 9, 2012 by hotrod
	He is possibly getting out of jail and I am NERVOUS!! (Preview) so im kind of nervous. It has been over 3 months since I let my crack addict ex-boyfriend go. Heard through the grapevine he could be getting out this Friday. I have slowly growing and working on my happiness and it all was because I put him out of sight and out of mind. I am nervous and I am nervous and anxio...	Julie3310	4	449	Apr 9, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Happy Easter - Holidays Alone (Preview) Another post talks some about being alone on holidays and I wanted to address the issue in a new topic. I have to say, that for the past year I have enjoyed every holiday because I've been able to relax and truly enjoy them, taking them back and making them for me again. No more making it all about him and wha...	likemyheart	9	496	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	detachment (Preview) i have been attending f2f meetings and I realize that my AS is too dependent on me. I know this is how I contributed to his addition. I am going out of town for a few days and he is worried about his transportation as he can not drive and we live miles from town, he is stressed about making it to work. he is livi...	nothopeless	2	308	Apr 8, 2012 by Jerry F
	Fear (Preview) I know fear is something that is ruling my emotions these days. I sometimes see fear as an inability to trust God, yet I also see it as a means of protection for my soul. As negative an emotion that fear is, I do believe that it has it's place. It's giving me the confidence to believe that things will work...	ilovedogs	15	2502	Apr 8, 2012 by hotrod
	Sharing (Preview) I'm back home again. I arrived home to a beautiful front yard, flowers in the house and a peaceful environment. I don't know what the future holds but I know I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I've also complicated the relationship between my AH and my family. My parents have always been where I went whe...	Jackie11	9	521	Apr 8, 2012 by Wolfie55
	My recovery program/acceptance (Preview) I have been doing really well and been feeling so strong, my acceptance has been great. Than last night I was lonesome and needed someone to hold me. I went over to my exAH's and it was nice and he was sweet. I however wish I could get my fulfillment some other way by someone else. I have not let anyone else in...	Breakingfree	7	573	Apr 8, 2012 by Pushka
	bittersweet day! (Preview) Yesterday I got some of the insurance money that my dad left us. It was a good thing & of course a sad thing. The check even said on the attachment that they were sending comfort or something at the time of our loss. It was quite a big check for me to receive because I haven't had that kind of money to spend...	Hoot Nanny	3	304	Apr 7, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Nar-Anon (Preview) We have good meetings in my area. Their website is nar-anon.org.	MaryODAT	0	279	Apr 6, 2012 by MaryODAT
	stress & anxiety! (Preview) I am struggling with stress & anxiety so much that I am angry and misunderstanding what people are doing and saying to me! I am forgetful and so tired. I haven't even been doing my regular exercising. I was burning the candle at both ends and finally got sick-physically. I hope I can get back on tr...	Hoot Nanny	3	1092	Apr 6, 2012 by Bubbles
	My Inventory (Preview) I let myself be drawn into the extreme chaos of my AH's detox. I stopped focusing on my recovery. I took back my will and my HP slapped me across the face with it reminding me I need to surrender. I made things worse by being drawn into the control of things I have no control over. No human power will remove my...	Very Very Tired	12	555	Apr 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	Letting go of obligations. (Preview) I grew up in a home where my parents absolutely felt obligated to attention, drama and whatever crumbs of energy I have. So as a result I've always been prey to others who have a sense of entitlement. In the last year I was approached by someone who used to live next door to me. He dumped his ex girlfriend b...	orchidlover	10	605	Apr 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	Choosing a sponsor questions (Preview) I'm ready to start my 4th step and am looking around for a sponsor. I've gotten comfortable at one particular weekly meeting, and have just started going to others as I can. I'm not sure how to shop around for a sponsor. I feel hesitant to walk up to a stranger after a meeting and just ask. I know this is...	Dolly Llama	7	661	Apr 5, 2012 by orchidlover
	UGH, lawyers (Preview) Please share your opinions on how you feel about this. There's a part of me that wonders if my AH is trying to find ways to drink again and there's a part of me that believes he is just thinking of ways to minimize the frustration of the ignition interlock device. I posted this on another forum and most of...	ilovedogs	6	523	Apr 5, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Wife not allowing me attend meeting (Preview) Hi all - i've attended a couple of al-anon meetings and find them incredibly helpful. i would probably go nightly if i could! currently, my wife is not supporting my intention to begin attending a late-evening meeting (8:15 start). i could leave the house right around when our youngsters are asleep...	KDglen	5	775	Apr 5, 2012 by Jennifer
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.