The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Have you been there? Just feeling *off* somehow, something vague, but enough to know something is dragging on you?
At first I thought it was disappointment in myself for not taking action on a personal goal. But I started on it yesterday, and don't feel any better today. (But am proud I took the first step!)
My sister-in-law wrote me and would like to keep in touch. I cried when I read her message. Adore her 3 kids, would have been tough to let them go. Her message humbled me but gave me such a sense of sadness/regret at the same time. I cried and I don't know why. Why do I feel so sad at this? It was a good message.
So maybe that's it? The realities of divorce are setting in? All my relationships are shifting. Some in a good way.
I have about a week left in my home. Maybe that's another reason I'm feeling off. Like how a dog or cat can just sense that they're going to the vet (how do they *do* that?!). Next weekend is my first drill with the National Guard. Then a week of solo camping...reconnecting with nature for my soul. A new, temporary home for a month before I ship off to training.
Lots of changes. I can sit with my vague discontent. And hit up a meeting tonight.
-- Edited by Dolly Llama on Thursday 5th of April 2012 03:05:46 PM
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Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us. -from Pema Chödron's When Things Fall Apart
I have increasing feelings of being "off"; for me it is more like unrest, anxiety at a deeper level. I'm also transitioning; will be living in another home for a month. Building or rebuilding life can be challenging and I am often touched at other's kindness. Maybe it is because it is still occurring to me just how much I've been through- maybe it's because I still have damage control and need to also grow my self esteem.
You are letting go of a former life pattern and embarking on a new experience.and this is exciting time for you. Change is difficult and in letting go we do experience sadness at the "loss" and gratitude for the new. For me this is the definition of Bitter Sweet.
Your life is certainly undergoing tremendous change and watching your process your courage, and wisdom is impressive. When I experienced such changes I too felt "Off" and have come to understand that this "off "feeling is simply the result of the newness of the experience. I did not feel the usual dread and panic that was so familiar when life changes appeared.and that felt "strange"
You are doing very well, DL, under the circumstances. There is a LOT going on. I sooo identify with it, my whole life as I knew it, was turned upside down.
I did best when I just surrendered and didn't fall into my analysis paralysis, labeling and naming everything... I learned it's okay to just "be." I don't have to "do" anything to fix it. That entire time, I just stayed in steps 1-3. And like you, I'd go to a meeting to cope with all the changes, it was where I found the faith to face all the fear.
Easy does it. Because feelings are fleeting. This too, shall pass, and you're doing just fine.
Thank you for your service.
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Big hugs. I know I initiated my divorce, I was angry and glad to leave behind the crazy. About 3 months after the separation one day, no kids around I had to go take a shower and cry for 30 minutes. Couldn't figure out why but I just knew it was coming on. Take it easy.
Aloha Dolly L...run that thru the filter of HALT Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired and see how it comes up...Also check what level you find it on...Physical, mental, Emotional and Spiritual. Those levels are pretty much worked over and to the hilt by the disease.
I like the Alanon book Opening Our Hearts transforming our Losses. It discusses grieving and working through grief. It's written in such a way that it validates and encourages gentleness. I wish it had been available when I was divorcing. Keep taking care of you. One day at a time. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
You are in the midst of change and it sounds like your awareness and recovery are strong! Keep up the great work! Sending you love and support on the new season of your life!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
You know, I think it was the energy of Easter that has been nagging me. Plus, I discovered this morning that I have been putting 3-days expired milk in my coffee and maybe that hasn't been sitting well. Not enough carbs in my diet? Who knows....well, maybe all of that and some stuff I've been working through with a therapist about personal power. It is time for me to die, in a sense, and be reborn anew. All with the help and guidance of my HP. Lots of church this weekend...it is so soothing to my soul.
So yes, a combo of spiritual/physical/mental. I am starting to come up off my mood with the realization that it is time to grow up and embracing that for all it means to me...and following through with ACTION! I don't feel anxious anymore, I'm not afraid anymore. Maybe those changes are enough to cause me to feel unsettled. Taking care of me for the first time, probably ever, is a strange but welcome sensation.
You's are the best! Taking all your ideas on board. It's just good solid program advice!
-- Edited by Dolly Llama on Friday 6th of April 2012 07:31:16 PM
-- Edited by Dolly Llama on Friday 6th of April 2012 07:32:13 PM
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Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us. -from Pema Chödron's When Things Fall Apart
Sometimes when I'm not feeling so great, I'll grab one of my daily readers and just start reading through the index in the back... sometimes when I do that, a word or phrase will just pop out at me and the light-bulb will go off. I'll turn to the page(s) referenced and read, too.
