The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Recently my son was involved in a hold up of a store where the owner was hurt by the car he was a passenger in, I rang my son today to tell him that the man had been finally released from hospital. I think I cared more than he did. I am still very angry over the situation and while some are telling me that I must stand by my son at all cost, it is simply not the way I feel at all. I feel that he is making no attempt to deal with his addiction problem. That all is alright for him as he does not have to face the people of the community of which he hurt everyday like I and his father do. I am upset this evening and ashamed of his actions which have had a big impact on all our lives. I am truly grateful that he has somewhere safe to stay and work at present but am not prepared to ever put up with this again under my roof.
Hi marie, my heart goes out to you I am new on here and have been posting about my son, dont give into pressure from other people, do what feels right for you, and for your husband for now, take time, and space and be kind and gentle to you.
The lessons you taught him and his conscience is still there - Unfortunately it's buried under addiction. Since you are in the program too, it could help to just look at his actions as future steps 4 to 9. He will have to make those ammends some day or he will stay sick. Thank God there is a recovery program for him out there for the time when he is ready.
As the ex A's disease progressed his conscience went awry. I think it is to be expected. Denial is a huge bump in alcoholism. If there isn't any recovery they don't tend to have a conscience.
I think what is good that both you and your ex husband are united in non enabling him. Furthermore he can't do anymore harm.
