The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
No easy decisions on this one. It's going to take some soul searching and alanon can help you. Through support and the tools alanon offers, you can make the best decision for you.
We spend a lot of time wishing for other's to be different (especially when we see they have some good traits and potential) - the focus here is largely on accepting how others are and then figuring out what are you going to do in response.
-- Edited by glad lee on Wednesday 11th of April 2012 09:25:52 AM
My Partner drinks every night, he drinks strong premium lager usually 6+ cans on a work night when he is not working that is doubled if not more. He doesn't miss work because of it and he is generally on time
We can watch a movie, only to have to watch it again as he doesn't remember, it's the same with conversations, he forgets them and I get accused of lying if I mention something we discussed the next day, as if he can't remember it then it didn't happen.
I have to be careful what I say or do as he can take offence easily, I will joke with him about something and he sometimes takes it the wrong way and can go off the wall and start shouting at me and swearing and he calls me some terrible names. 5 or 10 minutes after this he acts like nothing happened and says I am the one at fault because I'm still upset about it. When he gets angry like this he scares me.
He suffered with depression when his marriage broke up, (I think he still does). He tells me he loves me all the time, sometimes even if I am just visiting the bathroom.
I don't live with him, he lives with his mother since his marraige breakup (11 years ago) I stay with him weekends friday to monday, I don't think I could live with him all the time the way things are.
If his drinking is bothering you then it would be good for you to attend an alanon meeting. Qualifying someone as an alcoholic or not really isn't our job. His drinking and actions would concern me if I were you. You are powerless over his drinking. Admitting we are powerless and our lives have become unmanageable is part of step 1.
I really hope you will find an alanon meeting in your area. Where we loose the loosing battle is putting the focus on what someone else is or is not doing instead of on ourselves.
Welcome here to the boards and I hope you will keep coming back, hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
al-anon is an amazing gift... my advice to you is.. find a meeting in your area and attend!! :0) and keep coming back here, reading and posting, we're happy to have you!
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
Welcome to Miracles in Progress. I also suggest taking in a few meetings. There's no real definition of what an alcoholic is and its basically something the individual has to decide for themselves, but if you are affected by someone else's drinking, Al-Anon can help. So stick around.
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Not all my days are priceless, but none of them are worthless, anymore.
I found I had some difficulty with the java applet. I had to check ok with the first alert that asks if I trust the content and then to say no to the second alert that asks if I want to block potentially harmful whatever. I don't think the chatroom is potentially harmful...lol.... if you mess it up try refreshing your browser. If you're using IRC, better get some of the more seasoned nerds here to help with that
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Not all my days are priceless, but none of them are worthless, anymore.
No one here knows if he is an A or not, but if his drinking affects you and then you can attend Al-anon meetings. They have helped me so much. I used to think I was going crazy, but as time went on I realized that dealing with alcoholism is enough to drive anyone crazy. I read a book "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews when I first came to MIP and it helped me a lot! I am sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I can't tell you if he's an alcoholic or not, but I can say that multiple alcoholics I've known have significant issues with memory from drinking. My ex in-laws keep a notepad by the phone because they never remember any conversations they've had the day prior. My current boyfriend in recovery, the one time I saw him drunk - he had significant confusion and memory lapses.
Most of the other long timers here have a lot of great information. You've already gotten a lot of information here :)
