The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Excellent share. I had a similar promise to myself - but it didn't have a clock on it because mine was "I'm not going to get into a relationship until I figure out how I got into this past one and stayed so long".
I now know, I'll never be done with that one I'm still working on the underlying issues but I can say that I now love me, love life, and live for myself. And anyone in my life has to understand that I will never again give up myself to make a relationship work. 1 + 1 is 2, not 1.
I did wait 4 years though. Glad I did.
Excellent quote and there could not be anymore truth than exactly what it states!
-- Edited by AStrongerMe on Wednesday 11th of April 2012 02:18:11 PM
If any of you have Facebook, you probably see friends posting images of quotes every now and then. A friend of mine posted the following quote that was in a graphic and I thought it was great and wanted to pass it along. It just rings so true for me:
"If you aren't happy being single you will never be happy in a relationship. Get your own life and love it first, then share it."
I had something like this in mind when I got divorced and promised myself I wouldn't date until at least a year after because I wanted to learn how to appreciate my own company.
It was really hard at first. In a different thread here there was talk of "void-filling" in the sense of using other people to fill a void in one's life. I know for me that I certainly did that with my past relationships. The part of the quote: "Get your own life" really hits the nail on the head. In the past I used to determine that my life could be gleaned from someone else. It's a small wonder I would lose myself in my partner's behaviors and try to become a chameleon... deciding I needed to like what they liked, listen to the same music, do the same activities and even dress similar... even if those things didn't bring me any real joy.
So, when I was faced with living on my own and not being in a relationship, I had to start discovering who I really was and what really brought ME joy. It actually took me longer than a year, actually, to start looking in the mirror and saying with absolute sincereity "I love you, Kelly. You're amazing!" and then giving myself a big hug, saying "Thank you SO much!"
I can totally see how if I don't know who I am and what makes me happy and know how to take good care of myself that I will not ever be able to share a happy, healthy relationship with someone.
Awesome quote and oh so true! I have fought staying single, but I know I am better for it and still have a few kinks to work out first. Keep up the great work!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Love love love this quote!!! It's exactly what I needed to hear today!! Thank you so very much for this share!!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
My daughter does laminated fridge and cupboard magnets .. she makes them beautiful and has made all of these powerful sayings part of her kitchen .. I am doing the same; she bought me a laminator too .. this one will definitely be a Great morning reminder .. I feel like i've had an intense therapy session everytime I walk out of her home .. what a great hobby .. however, the downside is .. it does take about 20 minutes to get that cup because the readings always get the best of me .. tehh
the magnet I also love says .. Sometimes the things you can't change, end up changing You ..
I'm still working on the underlying issues but I can say that I now love me, love life, and live for myself. And anyone in my life has to understand that I will never again give up myself to make a relationship work. 1 + 1 is 2, not 1.