Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all, This is a bit of a pity-party, but I hope I am learning from it. I grew up on a farm and it was a rich and vibrant place- all sorts of animals, fruit, hills and mountains; water too. There was something not quite right about my world and I found out more about that when i grew up. That was a shock at fors...

mcgee1962 · mcgee1962

I am new to this board but after reading a few of the posts and saying to myself several times "whoa that sounds familar" I think I may have found the right place to be. I apologize if this first post is a bit long... In a nutshell... my partner is a recovering addict. We have known each other for o...

denro · denro

I have a compulsive liar for an investment partner that the lies have been making me miserable for the past few years. Whatever comes out of his mouth is not to be believed. He owes me money and I may get it and I may not get it. He will have to live with the consequences of his actions, though I really don't th...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My hope is that it will get better for me personally. I have been going back & forth w/ being in pain & recognizing why that the pain is getting me very moody. I have been resting--sleeping in a lot lately. Not a sign of depression though. I just need the extra rest lately. I have a lot of time on my ha...

Freja · Freja

I've ordered the book and it's on its way! Very excited. Won't be here for a few weeks yet. Bummer. Can't wait to read it and put its advice to use. Those of you who have read it, what is your favorite parts? What did you find really helped you? I'd love to hear what you have to share since I just can't wait to re...

arasaxto · arasaxto

Life has been a lot harder for me lately. After some soul searching, i have realized that i have hovered some serious issues that i have had with my first love from almost 20 years ago. I met him when, he had just been released from a halfway house. needless to say he was very emotionally abusive to me. i tri...

nmike · nmike

I interviewed, accepted the offer, and started my move. I have been here for two months. It is a big change for me after 24 years in the same place. I live with my 90 year old mother. I have to learn to get along with her because I never have gotten along with her. She was the major codependent with my alcoholi...

Higgins335 · Higgins335

My wife left to a 45 day in patient rehab 2 days ago. Before that she was in the hospital for a week detoxing. While I know that her getting clean is best in the long run I am struggling. We have been married for just over 2 years. Our twins are at her parents house till she gets out of rehab and I find myself in a h...

Jerry F · 1234567890

my husband is a recovering alcoholic. his problem is occasional, unpredictable binge drinking episodes that have let to DWI's and his dissapearance for a night at a time. he never drank daily or regularly, only weekends or random days when he "couldn't hold it in anymore and needed to upload st...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Recently, I had a day in court and I felt I'd done a good job of representing myself. Unfortunately, the outcome didn't change. I have a very big payment to make. I had my year end review at work and even though I felt I'd performed the duties of my job well, I was worried. At my last workplace, there was...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

AH just got out of rehab, is staying with his parents, all thru treatment kept telling me what an angel I am and how much he wants to work on saving our marriage THEN he doesn't even call me today when he gets out of the rehab center and the first thing he does is post on Facebook that "I'm BACK, Seperate...

pineapple · pineapple

I've been sick since yesterday. I've been staying in bed except to feed the dogs, use the bathroom, and refill my juice and water glasses. I want someone to make me soup and bring it to me. Someone to tuck the blankets around me so I'll stay warm. Someone to hold my hand and tell me I'll feel better tomorrow...

Praying wife · Praying wife

Where do I begin, I've been with my AH for over 11 years, married for 7. He has a 16 year old daughter that I love dearly. He comes from a different Country and have seen much devastation in his life. He's always been a loner and have abandonment issues. He's a smart educated man with a great job BUT He's alwa...

batcheat · batcheat

Hi there. I'm new to this group. I live in a country where we don't have Al Anon, so I didn't know where else to turn. I apologize if this first post is rambling and incoherent. I'll try to keep it short. For the past few years I've been living with a man who's had a long-term struggle with alcohol. I don't t...

Kismet · Kismet

As some of you know, my AH has been in rehab for almost 2 months now. Due to the nature of his business (restaurant/bar) he will have to make a major change once he gets out of rehab. His councellor has agreed that although big changes at this stage are unadvisable, his situation requires it. His family ar...

Bodycount02 · Bodycount02

I apologize if i am posting in the wrong area but i have looked everywhere. I am a soldier stationed on Fort Riley, Kansas and I need to find AA meetings near me, preferably in junction city or topeka. Again i am really sorry if i am posting in the wrong place i have just looked everywhere. Im desperate at th...

Zimmy · Zimmy

Just wanted to share something im quite new on here so first time Ive shared on here!! Here goes, I have had a really trying day today, all emotions good and bad, but it was great just to be able to use some of my alanon tools to get me through the day. I remembered that its ok, i will feel things good and bad, t...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Heard this song on the way home from work but heard it in a new way since the latest events in my life. I'm sure a lot of you will relate too.

A_Shu108 · A_Shu108

Hello, Im really new to this, i just posted my story and right now i feel very...empowered. I have finally been able to detach from the things my husband has done and how it makes me feel. But i have a question, while i think having and hearing peoples stories helps when struggling through this process is...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

When I posted Tuesday I was so frustrated!!! I was also experiencing various shades of anger. I had signed up for the program for my meeting on Tuesday and was praying about the topic. I felt like anger would be a good one. As I was reading through the readings in One Day at a Time and Courage to Change 2 read...

Golightly24 · Golightly24

I'm relatively new here...was active about a year ago when my DH went to rehab for an opiate addiction. Everyone was so helpful and supportive. Although he's almost a year clean, I'm back for advice on dealing with my dad... My father, before my sister and I were born, abused MANY things...alcohol, ga...

holivex · holivex

So my AH has relapsed yet again and is currently living with his mother, sister, brother in law, and nephew. My mother in law supports all of them on what little savings she has left, and AH uses whatever cash he has to buy his vodka. He refuses to take phone calls from anyone, answer emails, or anything...

_heather_ · _heather_

Finally. I detatched myself from my husband and am currently separated. I could not be happier with my decision for my own well being. I struggled a lot thinking I couldn't do it on my own but I picked up the pieces and I have been. I am so proud of myself. I feel happy, healthy and strong. My only issue is wi...

dragonflys · dragonflys

My husband moved back to our state last week. We have been seperated by 700 miles for the past 5 months. He told me the reason he was moving back to our state was to be able to see his daughter. I guess that was a lie...which he admitted tonight. I took my daughter to see her daddy last weekend. I gues...

Icie · Icie

Anyone of you could be married to my alcoholic son, who has broken my heart over & over & has hurt his children over & over & his ex wife. His wife finally left him & divorced him, but she has never gone to AL anon so all the craziness continues, between them over the kids & one tryi...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

After 11 years I feel like I have been beaten by this diease. I am giving up. I Have no where to go, no money, he has MY car all the time now. I am just giving up...... I see no way out. i have burnt all my bridges with my family. I have no friends. I can see that is is keeping me isolated. He is so sneaky, narrastic....

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

I am new to all this and am really having a tough time figuring it all out. I know it's going to take time and meetings and my HP. But my confusion at the moment is the difference between detachment and just not caring or is it the same thing. Am I not supposed to care when he puts down me or my son? Am I not supp...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hope I didn't scare anyone off with the title of this subject...I know we are all connected to our higher powers in different ways and levels. I have to say I have seen his hand so powerfully in my life in recent months that it is overwhelming. I think back to last summer, when I never knew what I would come h...

lovestoread · lovestoread

My ABF Texts me today and tells me he got locked out of his car today after he had his tooth extracted because he blew positive for alcohol? and the reason for that was the novocaine? HUH? I'm not sure I understand but..ahhh okay. Now he has to go to the place that does the breathalizer on his vehicle a...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have made great strides and slipped and forged ahead and I felt another slip here recently. I am now more aware of myself than I have ever been. I thought I was magically cured and forgot this is a process and if I stop working my program I will backslide. It was a great reminder and onward I am going. I stil...

A_Shu108 · A_Shu108

Hey there... I decided I needed a group to help me stay focused and discuss my thoughts and hear how others are dealing with this crazy thing we call "addiction" I am married to a man who is no doubt an alcoholic. He is a Binge drinker, the type that doesnt drink a lick all week but feels entitled...

Kismet · Kismet

I am so angry I hardly know where to begin. My AH has been in business with his family for the past 20 years; they are all co-owners of a restaurant/pub. The setup and environment has always been toxic to the sons, my husband's brother was going down a bad road with drugs until he met his wife 8 years ago and h...

Inuyami · Inuyami

Hello everybody! It's been a while since I've been on to read or post anything on these boards but here is an update and maybe you all can give me some advice. Today marks two weeks that my AH hasn't drank (if I am to believe what he says) and two weeks of me living with my parents. The friday before last, I cal...

NCLadybug · NCLadybug

My recovering AH needs coping skills. I could use some coping skills myself as the family member. Any ideas?

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, I was shopping the other day and saw a card that read WHEN YOU HAVE MASTERED YOURSELF THEN YOU HAVE MASTERED LIFE. I bought the card and intended to give it to my sober ABF who is just coming out off avery big slip. However I have grown a lot the past couple of months and realised that ithis is what I ne...

defunk · defunk

I just stumbled upon this message board, and I'm just curious if anyone can help me, or guide me, and advise me. My boyfriend abuses roxies, we've had a few relapses within the span of our relationship. I kind of feel like he's addicted to me as well and doesn't want to be alone. It's as if he's trying to be t...

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

So my AH got out of bed just long enough yesterday to go to his parents house for a family lunch and ended up having a big blow up in front of them. Seeing all this in the past his parents knew what was going on with him. They have been dealing with his alcoholism and drug addiction for 20 years. In and out of re...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Please help me to understand denial. It is one of the most frustrating things for me to deal with and I truly don't get it. Do you REALLY not believe that there is a problem with your drinking and do you not see the hurt and damage that you are doing to your family? Or is it done as a form of protection becau...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I've often heard the term acceptance thrown around the rooms of Al Anon. I thought I knew what acceptance was. I finally came to see it be exemplified in my own life just this past week. I finally realized that I do have acceptance. Awareness came easy, acceptance was hard, and now there's action. ...

debhud · debhud

my husband is an alcoholic. he has been sober for 2 years. i love him whether he is drinking or not drinking. he is an amazing man with a crappy disease. he does such nice things for me. we go to las vegas with my parents every year. he does this because he loves ME. he is gentle to the point of almost be...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I am struggling this morning. I am blessed and thankful with the life that I have. My AH fixes dinner most nights. He works hard and I tell him often how much I appreciate him. The cooking, this point is making me miserable. You see 2 weeks ago he made bbq. I made my sandwich to my liking, piled with slaw (2 di...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

On my current journey, I keep thinking of something I heard on Oprah probably 20 years ago. "When someone shows you who they are, believe them!". Wow. So simple, so true. In looking back on my life I realize that often times, with my current AH, he kept showing me who he was: an alcoholic who...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

As I was working through my 4th step (and plan to go through it again soon) one resounding theme was how much I can lie to myself. When others lie to me I dont get bent out of shape but I do let them know Im aware. Sort of an I saw what you did there but no further discussion needed. Doing that with my kids crea...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I thought my AH was doing so well in rehab. Talked to him on the phone today about the rental we are trying to secure for him. Up till now he has been doing great (or so I thought), his attitude seemed so much better and I was hopeful. Well, we hit our first roadblock. The rental does not come with lawn servi...

Icie · Icie

Hi .....I am new to this group. My story....I was married to a alcoholic for 10 years he conned me, manipulated me, verbally abused me.I finally got into Al anon, started to heal..told him to either get help for his drinking or leave,I wasn't about to leave the home with 3 small children & he knew I me...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I came home early from a trip tonight and found AH trying to hide his beer cans and bottles. I did NOT handle it well. I slammed a few doors, stomped around like a tantrum throwing child. I didn't engage, but I do feel like shutting down and shutting him out again. He accused me of trying to trap him, I to...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

As some of you may know I have been dating a man for a couple months now and at first I fell fast and hard. Now that a little bit of the newness as worn down and I am proceeding with caution I am getting yellow flags, not quite red. We addressed the issue with him and his friends that are girls and I am watching to...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I would like to share. The alcoholic in my life is my father. He had surgery to remove his prostate some time back because they detected early cancer. Everything was fine. The doctor asked him to come in again for another blood test as a precaution to ensure the ca...

Bodycount02 · Bodycount02

I know I am an alcoholic, and today i found out my wife is leaving me. Most of the problems in our marriage stem from my alcohol use, and her father is an alcoholic also. I dont know what to do, all i want right now is to drink myself into oblivion. i have lost everything and i have been lying to her and myself fo...

Thelma · Thelma

My husband is new to recovery, A, for approx 9 months. I discovered that he has been in contact with an ex GF, making amends from almost 3 decades ago. He contacted her via his work email and then lied to me about it. I understand needing to make amends but am hurt that he hid the contact from me and finall...

peacewithin · peacewithin

He just don't talk to me about anything. Its really like 2 room mates. He quit drinking and he has been working OT to get through it. Then he goes to bed some times I Feel its just like when he was drinking. He always drank at home and he smokes, so he was out side in the summer and in the garage in the winter. But...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

I haven't been here for awhile. Life has been relatively peaceful, but I feel a storm a brewing. AH decided that he wasn't an A many months ago, and being drinking "just a little" again. Here and there. Mostly keeping it undercontrol. Maybe once a month. I've done my best to apply my Al...

Wanttohelp · Wanttohelp

My boyfriend is doing in-patient rehab for alcohol. He was in detox for 12 days here locally then transferred to a place a few hours away when a bed became open. We had a falling out about the 3rd day of his detox over me not wanting to give him a phone number of one of his friends. So when he left, we're not...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

The beginning is always the best place to start. I am very grateful today as I am feeling pretty OK today. I am content w/where I am. Had a fairly good weekend sharing 25 years of sobriety for a good friend of ours. It was very special to me as well as the others at the meeting. But, down to the reason I am on her...

holivex · holivex

Yesterday I got so incredibly furious at both my AH and his mother. We were in the car, heading up to spend the night at my sister's. On the way, one of my twins wanted to call his dad. He has been writing and mailing letters to him. I have encouraged that (or journaling) because I think it's important f...

DavidG · DavidG

I vowed and declared I would never call myself an oldtimer. So I decided to call me a long-timer.... I do the adult child programme inside of Alanon and have done for thirty years now. Long ago I learned to see the similarities not the differences. Last year I was fortunate to be in the United States with m...

Pushka · Pushka

There are many things that it is time for one of them is it's time for me to finish this divorce. I have thought and prayed about it and received some new information and I AM DEF going respond in a very appropriate way. It's amazing to me how God continues to bless and present things just as I need them. ...

JJ21 · JJ21

Have not been to many F@F meetings. I was to emotional in the beginning to deal with the pain and embarrased when I would start crying. I wanted to get the focus of of him and on me before I started this, however I have been toying with the sheets and know where I feel I need to concentrate. I feel stronger...

Forward · Forward

I have no idea what to do. My husband is an alcoholic. He was a drinker when we married 21 years ago, but everyone we knew drank then. I grew up and grew out of it but he didn't. Around 15 years ago he quit and stayed sober for 10 years. Then 5 years ago he started up again. It has been hell. He had his own b...

denro · denro

I have many sober alcoholics around my life and come from an alcoholic Father. On three previous occasions I have suffered financial losses at the hands of people I trusted, loans, investments etc. Now I have done it again, this time with serious money. My investment partner after the global meltdow...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Learning anew... (Preview) Hi y'all, This is a bit of a pity-party, but I hope I am learning from it. I grew up on a farm and it was a rich and vibrant place- all sorts of animals, fruit, hills and mountains; water too. There was something not quite right about my world and I found out more about that when i grew up. That was a shock at fors...	DavidG	5	476	Sep 22, 2012 by david62
	Meet Al...the 3rd person in the relationship (Preview) I am new to this board but after reading a few of the posts and saying to myself several times "whoa that sounds familar" I think I may have found the right place to be. I apologize if this first post is a bit long... In a nutshell... my partner is a recovering addict. We have known each other for o...	mcgee1962	3	561	Sep 22, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Six days into Al-Anon and I have Hope. (Preview) I have a compulsive liar for an investment partner that the lies have been making me miserable for the past few years. Whatever comes out of his mouth is not to be believed. He owes me money and I may get it and I may not get it. He will have to live with the consequences of his actions, though I really don't th...	denro	3	440	Sep 22, 2012 by hotrod
	it can & will get better! (Preview) My hope is that it will get better for me personally. I have been going back & forth w/ being in pain & recognizing why that the pain is getting me very moody. I have been resting--sleeping in a lot lately. Not a sign of depression though. I just need the extra rest lately. I have a lot of time on my ha...	Hoot Nanny	3	394	Sep 22, 2012 by Jerry F
	Getting Them Sober - How has it helped you?/Your favorite parts? (Preview) I've ordered the book and it's on its way! Very excited. Won't be here for a few weeks yet. Bummer. Can't wait to read it and put its advice to use. Those of you who have read it, what is your favorite parts? What did you find really helped you? I'd love to hear what you have to share since I just can't wait to re...	Freja	13	571	Sep 21, 2012 by glad lee
	Ghost from the past (Preview) Life has been a lot harder for me lately. After some soul searching, i have realized that i have hovered some serious issues that i have had with my first love from almost 20 years ago. I met him when, he had just been released from a halfway house. needless to say he was very emotionally abusive to me. i tri...	arasaxto	2	406	Sep 22, 2012 by arasaxto
	Moving Update (Preview) I interviewed, accepted the offer, and started my move. I have been here for two months. It is a big change for me after 24 years in the same place. I live with my 90 year old mother. I have to learn to get along with her because I never have gotten along with her. She was the major codependent with my alcoholi...	nmike	6	424	Sep 22, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Dealing with loneliness and depression from wife being gone Depressed lonely alone (Preview) My wife left to a 45 day in patient rehab 2 days ago. Before that she was in the hospital for a week detoxing. While I know that her getting clean is best in the long run I am struggling. We have been married for just over 2 years. Our twins are at her parents house till she gets out of rehab and I find myself in a h...	Higgins335	12	5621	Sep 22, 2012 by Higgins335
	if your spouce is an alcoholic does that mean the other partner can't drink? (Preview) my husband is a recovering alcoholic. his problem is occasional, unpredictable binge drinking episodes that have let to DWI's and his dissapearance for a night at a time. he never drank daily or regularly, only weekends or random days when he "couldn't hold it in anymore and needed to upload st...	1234567890	8	687	Sep 22, 2012 by Jerry F
	Some Good News (Preview) Recently, I had a day in court and I felt I'd done a good job of representing myself. Unfortunately, the outcome didn't change. I have a very big payment to make. I had my year end review at work and even though I felt I'd performed the duties of my job well, I was worried. At my last workplace, there was...	tiredtonite	12	493	Sep 22, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Why Is This Ticking Me Off (Preview) AH just got out of rehab, is staying with his parents, all thru treatment kept telling me what an angel I am and how much he wants to work on saving our marriage THEN he doesn't even call me today when he gets out of the rehab center and the first thing he does is post on Facebook that "I'm BACK, Seperate...	TrudyS85	5	520	Sep 22, 2012 by Debilyn
	pity party (Preview) I've been sick since yesterday. I've been staying in bed except to feed the dogs, use the bathroom, and refill my juice and water glasses. I want someone to make me soup and bring it to me. Someone to tuck the blankets around me so I'll stay warm. Someone to hold my hand and tell me I'll feel better tomorrow...	pineapple	14	509	Sep 22, 2012 by Debilyn
	A cry for help, How do I help him!!!!! (Preview) Where do I begin, I've been with my AH for over 11 years, married for 7. He has a 16 year old daughter that I love dearly. He comes from a different Country and have seen much devastation in his life. He's always been a loner and have abandonment issues. He's a smart educated man with a great job BUT He's alwa...	Praying wife	11	661	Sep 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	How to practice detachment if he treats you with contempt? (Preview) Hi there. I'm new to this group. I live in a country where we don't have Al Anon, so I didn't know where else to turn. I apologize if this first post is rambling and incoherent. I'll try to keep it short. For the past few years I've been living with a man who's had a long-term struggle with alcohol. I don't t...	batcheat	7	1901	Sep 21, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Need a major change (Preview) As some of you know, my AH has been in rehab for almost 2 months now. Due to the nature of his business (restaurant/bar) he will have to make a major change once he gets out of rehab. His councellor has agreed that although big changes at this stage are unadvisable, his situation requires it. His family ar...	Kismet	0	306	Sep 21, 2012 by Kismet
	Soldier looking for AA meetings. (Preview) I apologize if i am posting in the wrong area but i have looked everywhere. I am a soldier stationed on Fort Riley, Kansas and I need to find AA meetings near me, preferably in junction city or topeka. Again i am really sorry if i am posting in the wrong place i have just looked everywhere. Im desperate at th...	Bodycount02	6	3195	Sep 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Replacing the what if...... (Preview) Just wanted to share something im quite new on here so first time Ive shared on here!! Here goes, I have had a really trying day today, all emotions good and bad, but it was great just to be able to use some of my alanon tools to get me through the day. I remembered that its ok, i will feel things good and bad, t...	Zimmy	5	336	Sep 21, 2012 by Zimmy
	"Call Me When You're Sober" Video (Preview) Heard this song on the way home from work but heard it in a new way since the latest events in my life. I'm sure a lot of you will relate too.	WornOutMrsFixIt	4	445	Sep 21, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	Al-anon Question.. is it just about learning to deal with it? (Preview) Hello, Im really new to this, i just posted my story and right now i feel very...empowered. I have finally been able to detach from the things my husband has done and how it makes me feel. But i have a question, while i think having and hearing peoples stories helps when struggling through this process is...	A_Shu108	5	610	Sep 21, 2012 by pinkchip
	Stepping off the wheel (Preview) When I posted Tuesday I was so frustrated!!! I was also experiencing various shades of anger. I had signed up for the program for my meeting on Tuesday and was praying about the topic. I felt like anger would be a good one. As I was reading through the readings in One Day at a Time and Courage to Change 2 read...	Jackie11	5	448	Sep 21, 2012 by pinkchip
	How to deal with Dad? (Preview) I'm relatively new here...was active about a year ago when my DH went to rehab for an opiate addiction. Everyone was so helpful and supportive. Although he's almost a year clean, I'm back for advice on dealing with my dad... My father, before my sister and I were born, abused MANY things...alcohol, ga...	Golightly24	2	299	Sep 21, 2012 by Icie
	Is this me being spiteful or is it the right thing to do? (Preview) So my AH has relapsed yet again and is currently living with his mother, sister, brother in law, and nephew. My mother in law supports all of them on what little savings she has left, and AH uses whatever cash he has to buy his vodka. He refuses to take phone calls from anyone, answer emails, or anything...	holivex	8	557	Sep 21, 2012 by Debilyn
	Detatchment (Preview) Finally. I detatched myself from my husband and am currently separated. I could not be happier with my decision for my own well being. I struggled a lot thinking I couldn't do it on my own but I picked up the pieces and I have been. I am so proud of myself. I feel happy, healthy and strong. My only issue is wi...	_heather_	2	307	Sep 21, 2012 by _heather_
	Manipulation in full swing (Preview) My husband moved back to our state last week. We have been seperated by 700 miles for the past 5 months. He told me the reason he was moving back to our state was to be able to see his daughter. I guess that was a lie...which he admitted tonight. I took my daughter to see her daddy last weekend. I gues...	dragonflys	9	586	Sep 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	Finding serenity Amongst craziness (Preview) Anyone of you could be married to my alcoholic son, who has broken my heart over & over & has hurt his children over & over & his ex wife. His wife finally left him & divorced him, but she has never gone to AL anon so all the craziness continues, between them over the kids & one tryi...	Icie	4	469	Sep 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	His addiction has finally WON! (Preview) After 11 years I feel like I have been beaten by this diease. I am giving up. I Have no where to go, no money, he has MY car all the time now. I am just giving up...... I see no way out. i have burnt all my bridges with my family. I have no friends. I can see that is is keeping me isolated. He is so sneaky, narrastic....	sisdragonfly1957	12	617	Sep 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	Understanding how it all works (Preview) I am new to all this and am really having a tough time figuring it all out. I know it's going to take time and meetings and my HP. But my confusion at the moment is the difference between detachment and just not caring or is it the same thing. Am I not supposed to care when he puts down me or my son? Am I not supp...	JAMIE74	5	570	Sep 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	God is great (Preview) Hope I didn't scare anyone off with the title of this subject...I know we are all connected to our higher powers in different ways and levels. I have to say I have seen his hand so powerfully in my life in recent months that it is overwhelming. I think back to last summer, when I never knew what I would come h...	usedtobeanyer	7	449	Sep 20, 2012 by Pushka
	This is interesting. Wondering if anyone else has heard this one??? (Preview) My ABF Texts me today and tells me he got locked out of his car today after he had his tooth extracted because he blew positive for alcohol? and the reason for that was the novocaine? HUH? I'm not sure I understand but..ahhh okay. Now he has to go to the place that does the breathalizer on his vehicle a...	lovestoread	6	573	Sep 20, 2012 by Icie
	My recovery (slippery slope) (Preview) I have made great strides and slipped and forged ahead and I felt another slip here recently. I am now more aware of myself than I have ever been. I thought I was magically cured and forgot this is a process and if I stop working my program I will backslide. It was a great reminder and onward I am going. I stil...	Breakingfree	7	529	Sep 20, 2012 by Breakingfree
	New here...Need to stay "focus" (Preview) Hey there... I decided I needed a group to help me stay focused and discuss my thoughts and hear how others are dealing with this crazy thing we call "addiction" I am married to a man who is no doubt an alcoholic. He is a Binge drinker, the type that doesnt drink a lick all week but feels entitled...	A_Shu108	2	330	Sep 20, 2012 by hotrod
	Angry at his family (Preview) I am so angry I hardly know where to begin. My AH has been in business with his family for the past 20 years; they are all co-owners of a restaurant/pub. The setup and environment has always been toxic to the sons, my husband's brother was going down a bad road with drugs until he met his wife 8 years ago and h...	Kismet	7	540	Sep 19, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	The daily sea-saw! (Preview) Hello everybody! It's been a while since I've been on to read or post anything on these boards but here is an update and maybe you all can give me some advice. Today marks two weeks that my AH hasn't drank (if I am to believe what he says) and two weeks of me living with my parents. The friday before last, I cal...	Inuyami	4	542	Sep 19, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	coping skills (Preview) My recovering AH needs coping skills. I could use some coping skills myself as the family member. Any ideas?	NCLadybug	3	922	Sep 19, 2012 by Breakingfree
	a card for myself (Preview) Hi all, I was shopping the other day and saw a card that read WHEN YOU HAVE MASTERED YOURSELF THEN YOU HAVE MASTERED LIFE. I bought the card and intended to give it to my sober ABF who is just coming out off avery big slip. However I have grown a lot the past couple of months and realised that ithis is what I ne...	Tracy	5	395	Sep 19, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Dating and Recovery (Preview) I just stumbled upon this message board, and I'm just curious if anyone can help me, or guide me, and advise me. My boyfriend abuses roxies, we've had a few relapses within the span of our relationship. I kind of feel like he's addicted to me as well and doesn't want to be alone. It's as if he's trying to be t...	defunk	3	329	Sep 19, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Parents involved now...good or bad? (Preview) So my AH got out of bed just long enough yesterday to go to his parents house for a family lunch and ended up having a big blow up in front of them. Seeing all this in the past his parents knew what was going on with him. They have been dealing with his alcoholism and drug addiction for 20 years. In and out of re...	JAMIE74	9	562	Sep 19, 2012 by JAMIE74
	Question for Recovering Alcoholics (Preview) Please help me to understand denial. It is one of the most frustrating things for me to deal with and I truly don't get it. Do you REALLY not believe that there is a problem with your drinking and do you not see the hurt and damage that you are doing to your family? Or is it done as a form of protection becau...	WornOutMrsFixIt	5	670	Sep 19, 2012 by lovestoread
	Acceptance (Preview) I've often heard the term acceptance thrown around the rooms of Al Anon. I thought I knew what acceptance was. I finally came to see it be exemplified in my own life just this past week. I finally realized that I do have acceptance. Awareness came easy, acceptance was hard, and now there's action. ...	ilovedogs	7	560	Sep 19, 2012 by glad lee
	feeling very blessed tonight.... (Preview) my husband is an alcoholic. he has been sober for 2 years. i love him whether he is drinking or not drinking. he is an amazing man with a crappy disease. he does such nice things for me. we go to las vegas with my parents every year. he does this because he loves ME. he is gentle to the point of almost be...	debhud	2	235	Sep 19, 2012 by Zimmy
	How do I get off the wheel? (Preview) I am struggling this morning. I am blessed and thankful with the life that I have. My AH fixes dinner most nights. He works hard and I tell him often how much I appreciate him. The cooking, this point is making me miserable. You see 2 weeks ago he made bbq. I made my sandwich to my liking, piled with slaw (2 di...	Jackie11	7	520	Sep 19, 2012 by Zimmy
	When Someone Shows You Who They Are (Preview) On my current journey, I keep thinking of something I heard on Oprah probably 20 years ago. "When someone shows you who they are, believe them!". Wow. So simple, so true. In looking back on my life I realize that often times, with my current AH, he kept showing me who he was: an alcoholic who...	TrudyS85	4	554	Sep 18, 2012 by glad lee
	Acceptance and self honesty (Preview) As I was working through my 4th step (and plan to go through it again soon) one resounding theme was how much I can lie to myself. When others lie to me I dont get bent out of shape but I do let them know Im aware. Sort of an I saw what you did there but no further discussion needed. Doing that with my kids crea...	AStrongerMe	4	471	Sep 19, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Well That Didn't Take Long (Preview) I thought my AH was doing so well in rehab. Talked to him on the phone today about the rental we are trying to secure for him. Up till now he has been doing great (or so I thought), his attitude seemed so much better and I was hopeful. Well, we hit our first roadblock. The rental does not come with lawn servi...	TrudyS85	7	453	Sep 19, 2012 by holivex
	New to this group (Preview) Hi .....I am new to this group. My story....I was married to a alcoholic for 10 years he conned me, manipulated me, verbally abused me.I finally got into Al anon, started to heal..told him to either get help for his drinking or leave,I wasn't about to leave the home with 3 small children & he knew I me...	Icie	3	429	Sep 18, 2012 by Icie
	UGH! I threw my acceptance right out the window! (Preview) I came home early from a trip tonight and found AH trying to hide his beer cans and bottles. I did NOT handle it well. I slammed a few doors, stomped around like a tantrum throwing child. I didn't engage, but I do feel like shutting down and shutting him out again. He accused me of trying to trap him, I to...	ilovedogs	7	564	Sep 18, 2012 by glad lee
	I am afraid to share my true feelings (Preview) As some of you may know I have been dating a man for a couple months now and at first I fell fast and hard. Now that a little bit of the newness as worn down and I am proceeding with caution I am getting yellow flags, not quite red. We addressed the issue with him and his friends that are girls and I am watching to...	Breakingfree	8	503	Sep 18, 2012 by Debilyn
	The alcoholic and handling bad news. (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I would like to share. The alcoholic in my life is my father. He had surgery to remove his prostate some time back because they detected early cancer. Everything was fine. The doctor asked him to come in again for another blood test as a precaution to ensure the ca...	slogan_jim	5	448	Sep 18, 2012 by Debilyn
	Soldier in trouble (Preview) I know I am an alcoholic, and today i found out my wife is leaving me. Most of the problems in our marriage stem from my alcohol use, and her father is an alcoholic also. I dont know what to do, all i want right now is to drink myself into oblivion. i have lost everything and i have been lying to her and myself fo...	Bodycount02	7	511	Sep 18, 2012 by gdmbm76
	Making Amends (Preview) My husband is new to recovery, A, for approx 9 months. I discovered that he has been in contact with an ex GF, making amends from almost 3 decades ago. He contacted her via his work email and then lied to me about it. I understand needing to make amends but am hurt that he hid the contact from me and finall...	Thelma	6	429	Sep 18, 2012 by pinkchip
	Talking (Preview) He just don't talk to me about anything. Its really like 2 room mates. He quit drinking and he has been working OT to get through it. Then he goes to bed some times I Feel its just like when he was drinking. He always drank at home and he smokes, so he was out side in the summer and in the garage in the winter. But...	peacewithin	2	265	Sep 18, 2012 by pinkchip
	Sliding out of Sobriety (Preview) I haven't been here for awhile. Life has been relatively peaceful, but I feel a storm a brewing. AH decided that he wasn't an A many months ago, and being drinking "just a little" again. Here and there. Mostly keeping it undercontrol. Maybe once a month. I've done my best to apply my Al...	Hot Chicka	2	399	Sep 18, 2012 by Tracy
	Loved one in in-patient rehab (Preview) My boyfriend is doing in-patient rehab for alcohol. He was in detox for 12 days here locally then transferred to a place a few hours away when a bed became open. We had a falling out about the 3rd day of his detox over me not wanting to give him a phone number of one of his friends. So when he left, we're not...	Wanttohelp	6	431	Sep 18, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	where do I begin--at the beginning? (Preview) The beginning is always the best place to start. I am very grateful today as I am feeling pretty OK today. I am content w/where I am. Had a fairly good weekend sharing 25 years of sobriety for a good friend of ours. It was very special to me as well as the others at the meeting. But, down to the reason I am on her...	Hoot Nanny	1	393	Sep 18, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	How do you help your children detach? (Preview) Yesterday I got so incredibly furious at both my AH and his mother. We were in the car, heading up to spend the night at my sister's. On the way, one of my twins wanted to call his dad. He has been writing and mailing letters to him. I have encouraged that (or journaling) because I think it's important f...	holivex	4	800	Sep 17, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Men in Alanon... (Preview) I vowed and declared I would never call myself an oldtimer. So I decided to call me a long-timer.... I do the adult child programme inside of Alanon and have done for thirty years now. Long ago I learned to see the similarities not the differences. Last year I was fortunate to be in the United States with m...	DavidG	10	608	Sep 17, 2012 by DavidG
	It's time (Preview) There are many things that it is time for one of them is it's time for me to finish this divorce. I have thought and prayed about it and received some new information and I AM DEF going respond in a very appropriate way. It's amazing to me how God continues to bless and present things just as I need them. ...	Pushka	12	567	Sep 17, 2012 by Pushka
	Starting 4th Step - Sponsors/Meetings (Preview) Have not been to many F@F meetings. I was to emotional in the beginning to deal with the pain and embarrased when I would start crying. I wanted to get the focus of of him and on me before I started this, however I have been toying with the sheets and know where I feel I need to concentrate. I feel stronger...	JJ21	3	3382	Sep 17, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I'm lost (Preview) I have no idea what to do. My husband is an alcoholic. He was a drinker when we married 21 years ago, but everyone we knew drank then. I grew up and grew out of it but he didn't. Around 15 years ago he quit and stayed sober for 10 years. Then 5 years ago he started up again. It has been hell. He had his own b...	Forward	3	465	Sep 17, 2012 by Breakingfree
	At the effect of a Compulsive Liar (Preview) I have many sober alcoholics around my life and come from an alcoholic Father. On three previous occasions I have suffered financial losses at the hands of people I trusted, loans, investments etc. Now I have done it again, this time with serious money. My investment partner after the global meltdow...	denro	4	555	Sep 17, 2012 by denro
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.