Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

debhud · debhud

my husband is an alcoholic. he has been sober for 2 years. i love him whether he is drinking or not drinking. he is an amazing man with a crappy disease. he does such nice things for me. we go to las vegas with my parents every year. he does this because he loves ME. he is gentle to the point of almost be...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I am struggling this morning. I am blessed and thankful with the life that I have. My AH fixes dinner most nights. He works hard and I tell him often how much I appreciate him. The cooking, this point is making me miserable. You see 2 weeks ago he made bbq. I made my sandwich to my liking, piled with slaw (2 di...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

On my current journey, I keep thinking of something I heard on Oprah probably 20 years ago. "When someone shows you who they are, believe them!". Wow. So simple, so true. In looking back on my life I realize that often times, with my current AH, he kept showing me who he was: an alcoholic who...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

As I was working through my 4th step (and plan to go through it again soon) one resounding theme was how much I can lie to myself. When others lie to me I dont get bent out of shape but I do let them know Im aware. Sort of an I saw what you did there but no further discussion needed. Doing that with my kids crea...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I thought my AH was doing so well in rehab. Talked to him on the phone today about the rental we are trying to secure for him. Up till now he has been doing great (or so I thought), his attitude seemed so much better and I was hopeful. Well, we hit our first roadblock. The rental does not come with lawn servi...

Icie · Icie

Hi .....I am new to this group. My story....I was married to a alcoholic for 10 years he conned me, manipulated me, verbally abused me.I finally got into Al anon, started to heal..told him to either get help for his drinking or leave,I wasn't about to leave the home with 3 small children & he knew I me...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I came home early from a trip tonight and found AH trying to hide his beer cans and bottles. I did NOT handle it well. I slammed a few doors, stomped around like a tantrum throwing child. I didn't engage, but I do feel like shutting down and shutting him out again. He accused me of trying to trap him, I to...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

As some of you may know I have been dating a man for a couple months now and at first I fell fast and hard. Now that a little bit of the newness as worn down and I am proceeding with caution I am getting yellow flags, not quite red. We addressed the issue with him and his friends that are girls and I am watching to...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I would like to share. The alcoholic in my life is my father. He had surgery to remove his prostate some time back because they detected early cancer. Everything was fine. The doctor asked him to come in again for another blood test as a precaution to ensure the ca...

Bodycount02 · Bodycount02

I know I am an alcoholic, and today i found out my wife is leaving me. Most of the problems in our marriage stem from my alcohol use, and her father is an alcoholic also. I dont know what to do, all i want right now is to drink myself into oblivion. i have lost everything and i have been lying to her and myself fo...

Thelma · Thelma

My husband is new to recovery, A, for approx 9 months. I discovered that he has been in contact with an ex GF, making amends from almost 3 decades ago. He contacted her via his work email and then lied to me about it. I understand needing to make amends but am hurt that he hid the contact from me and finall...

peacewithin · peacewithin

He just don't talk to me about anything. Its really like 2 room mates. He quit drinking and he has been working OT to get through it. Then he goes to bed some times I Feel its just like when he was drinking. He always drank at home and he smokes, so he was out side in the summer and in the garage in the winter. But...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

I haven't been here for awhile. Life has been relatively peaceful, but I feel a storm a brewing. AH decided that he wasn't an A many months ago, and being drinking "just a little" again. Here and there. Mostly keeping it undercontrol. Maybe once a month. I've done my best to apply my Al...

Wanttohelp · Wanttohelp

My boyfriend is doing in-patient rehab for alcohol. He was in detox for 12 days here locally then transferred to a place a few hours away when a bed became open. We had a falling out about the 3rd day of his detox over me not wanting to give him a phone number of one of his friends. So when he left, we're not...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

The beginning is always the best place to start. I am very grateful today as I am feeling pretty OK today. I am content w/where I am. Had a fairly good weekend sharing 25 years of sobriety for a good friend of ours. It was very special to me as well as the others at the meeting. But, down to the reason I am on her...

holivex · holivex

Yesterday I got so incredibly furious at both my AH and his mother. We were in the car, heading up to spend the night at my sister's. On the way, one of my twins wanted to call his dad. He has been writing and mailing letters to him. I have encouraged that (or journaling) because I think it's important f...

DavidG · DavidG

I vowed and declared I would never call myself an oldtimer. So I decided to call me a long-timer.... I do the adult child programme inside of Alanon and have done for thirty years now. Long ago I learned to see the similarities not the differences. Last year I was fortunate to be in the United States with m...

Pushka · Pushka

There are many things that it is time for one of them is it's time for me to finish this divorce. I have thought and prayed about it and received some new information and I AM DEF going respond in a very appropriate way. It's amazing to me how God continues to bless and present things just as I need them. ...

JJ21 · JJ21

Have not been to many F@F meetings. I was to emotional in the beginning to deal with the pain and embarrased when I would start crying. I wanted to get the focus of of him and on me before I started this, however I have been toying with the sheets and know where I feel I need to concentrate. I feel stronger...

Forward · Forward

I have no idea what to do. My husband is an alcoholic. He was a drinker when we married 21 years ago, but everyone we knew drank then. I grew up and grew out of it but he didn't. Around 15 years ago he quit and stayed sober for 10 years. Then 5 years ago he started up again. It has been hell. He had his own b...

denro · denro

I have many sober alcoholics around my life and come from an alcoholic Father. On three previous occasions I have suffered financial losses at the hands of people I trusted, loans, investments etc. Now I have done it again, this time with serious money. My investment partner after the global meltdow...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Wish the bottom would get here already otherwise I worry the rate of my ah's alcoholsmwillvsurly kill him...or someone else. Im feeling I need to get to a f2f as im too him focused, wishing for things beyond my control, analyzing, thinking and trying to change the things I CANT....that said. When will...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi, my name is slogan_jim and I would like to share on the notion of acceptance. I am feeling very lonely tonight. It's a saturday night, I am young, I should be out partying and having a great time out on the town. Then again, I feel like that is what is expected of me and not what I truly want right now. Right...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

We all know the A in our life lies when they drink. Well, in my case anyway. Does your A lie when they are sober? I mean about little petty stuff? Mine does. Not only that but continues to elaborate on that lie when that subject is brought up. I think a lot of it in my case is pride and not wanting to admi...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Right at bedtime . . . very relaxing. I heard tonight that my AH showed up at a business meeting at 9 am on Wednesday smelling like alcohol. They go around the room and everyone says something and when it was his turn he stood up and made a sarcastic remark about a girl who was evidently dressed "u...

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

I set then in my mind when he started drinking again. No going with him to buy it, no buying it for him, no drinking with him. I never told him those boundaries, just kept them to myself. But he kinda threw me a curve ball...when he started drinking again it was the whiskey. The one think that turns him into a...

stephaniej · stephaniej

My AH works second shift. During the week, that is 3-11, and I am fast asleep by the time he gets home and starts drinking. Many months ago, in an effort to help preserve my sanity, I instituted some tactics like running a fan or white noise machine while I sleep, to mask the noise he makes and the sounds o...

katfshh · katfshh

The other day I went on FB, not through my normal account. I remembered I had an account through an old email address. I went on there and looked at my exA fiance's FB. Nothing much on there, but then I saw his 20 year old daughter, She is now friends with my exAF last girlfriend. They had all blocked this lad...

Pushka · Pushka

LOL .. my name is Pushka and I'm a meddler .. I need a 12 step daily program to remind me not to meddle. UGH!!! It's a really hard habit to break. So this weekend I was all so proud of myself for a few reasons .. my boundaries are getting stronger. I'm more able to see when I do things that cause me pain and ba...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I decided to not go to my home group last evening opting to drive out of town to a far off (23 miles!! OMG!!) shoreline community to hear a candidate speak to a group. He use to be the mayor and lotsa people want him back. Some of us feel he will be properly supportive to our native rights and sooooo I went...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Today, we're driving in my car, when I realize that I'm almost completely out of gas. So, we seek the nearest gas station of our choice and pull in. I busy myself with making a few calls on my cell; I don't even know what he is going through. So I was a little shocked when he got in the car all huffy and call...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Whenever I have a conversation or a meetup with him, it always ends up with him angry and calling me names. Where does this come from? At first it was only directed at me but now it is starting to creep in when he is discussing other people. It seems to be so common but I don"t really understand it.

Findinghope · Findinghope

My AH relapsed today, and in a way that has major consequences. I'm upset, and sad, and just so dissapointed. Every time I think he's moved forward and has some sobriety under his belt, it comes flinging back in awful ways. I'm by myself, and just feeling sad tonight. Sad that this man I love so much has th...

Jozie · Jozie

What a Week! Right Now My Husband is Going over one of the Hardest decission of His Life, and Our Lives will be Forever Changed come 2014! I'm Excited for Him, and a Little Nervous for Me, but I know that what ever or however, we will get to were we need to be! I have FAITH in My HP, So I Know I will be Lifted and Ca...

Theemettaart · Theemettaart

Sorry for not being on this board as much as i would like. There is so much going on. Today my sister and i called local social work and my parents house docter. We all together decided on a fast intervention at my mom. Their doctor went to her house to talk to her. Now she is totally pissed! she is angry with u...

holivex · holivex

Some of you might remember the post I had last weekend asking how I would know if I could trust to let AH back into the lives of my children and myself. Well, I have my answer. He's relapsed. He was even drinking the day I posted that topic. He showed up at the house for his first visitation with my kids. ...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

My S/O texted me and he finally said he wants to live on his own. So how I have to deal with the kids. I am very scared but alittle relieved. I have to figure things out and how I am going to do things. He has put me in so much debt. I am little angry but nothing I can do. If I don't get out I will never be happy. I know t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha family. I just shaking the ashes off my butt after a full flame out last evening. I let myself and my ego get sideswiped last evening when to my armour, pulled out my gun and shot myself in the foot then telling myself "There you got yourself good that time". I'm still going thru the P...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I have always struggled with anxiety issues. I take medication on a daily basis (small amounts) but I am starting to have panic attacks breaking through again. I had two massive attacks today while I was at work and am even starting to have what is know as night terrors again. They are nightmares that...

Debilyn · Debilyn

It was a movie. This lanky but cute teenager was in love with the pretty neighbor girl. They grew up together playing in forts, falling from trees,swimming, catching frogs. His sister was part of it too. As teens one day, he still in love with the girl, was sitting eating lunch with her. She was nice to hi...

Pipper · Pipper

Hi everyone I'm having such trouble trying to keep my mind of my ah.he retires in two weeks and it's party on time,he has to start a program on Monday for his DUI. I know I can't control it and I'm trying to keep my mind busy .im good for a few ays I keep saying its not my problem but then I'll wake up and start wor...

larusic · larusic

Can anyone tell me of a site where I can talk to someone with respect to my son's escalating drinking?

Jozie · Jozie

Did ya Ever Just Have... One of those Days.... Seems Everyone I Come In Contact with Lately has a "Poor Me" Story to Share... And tho I am a VERY Caring & Compassionate Person, I at times Just get tired of EVERYONE around me Focusing on Everything Wrong & Nothing thats Right! That is O...

nyc018 · nyc018

Hi everyone, I haven't been on for a bit but have been reading others posts and always come here when I need some esh. Long story short - today was pretty awful and my family (parents and sister) are cutting me off. I'm afraid it's for good. History - AH is a recovering alcoholic. We have a 3 year old son. We s...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Alright I'll be honest, I don't know where this share is going to go. I am in a lot of distress right now and need to vent. I've posted recently about my 22 year old addict son. He was released from rehab for coming up dirty on a drug test. In rehab he was getting high, really?! I was just floored. WE received t...

lacewing · lacewing

I am unable to chair our Tuesday Night Al-Anon Meeting (Tuesday, Sept. 18th). I have to go out of state to visit with my Brother who has been in Hospital for over 2 weeks in critical condition. I am hoping someone can fill in for me as I am not exactly sure when I will be coming back home so it would be grea...

KMC · KMC

So this is my first post here - haven't even had a chance to read other posts so sorry if I'm duplicating anything that's been posted before... But I'm in need of some advice regarding at-home medical detox. My mom is starting a medical detox at home on Monday, and I've got no idea what it entails... We...

Auntyaya · Auntyaya

My sister is an alcoholic (in denial) She drinks and then writes me mean, horrible emails.this has been going on ofor 12 years, since our mother died. Sometimes, the next a.m., there is an apology e mail...often, not.(we live in diff. parts of the country) I have just taken it, until now. I called her an...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Well, he is only half way thru rehab, I have made it clear when he gets out that he can't come home. Why am I panicked today? I am feeling bad for where he might have to go live, somewhere not as nice as our home. I know I can't live with him, I have lost all trust for him, his verbal abuse and infidelities and sui...

IWannaFly · IWannaFly

Today is the first XABF's b-day since we are not together I ended the relationship over a month ago. At first I felt sadness that we aren't together on his b-day and then I remembered the reality of all his past b-day's. He rarely spent any of them with me, when he did it was either first thing in the am or la...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I just returned from a very relaxing week-long vacation at a lake resort area about 500 miles from where I live. This was my first extended vacation since separating from my AH a year and a half ago. It was SO nice not to have to endure any drama during my break. In past years, I had to walk on my tiptoes aroun...

mehere80 · mehere80

Just curious about what you all have to share about the situation of wondering when/if someone will hit their bottom. Just observing, you know- while working your al anon program. One terrible thing after another and he keeps going back to his idea of "controlled" drinking. After eve...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Every time I come back here after a long absence, it is so cathartic. I read the posts and immediately filled with a sense of "I totally forgotl...I am NOT alone in this." My husband's alcoholism almost seems to take a track similar to bipolar disorder. He has definite "up" an...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hi all! AH and I have had 2 sessions of marriage counseling and they did not go well. NO surprises there, at least not for me. AH is surprised, though, and has decided we need to find a new counselor. He thought the first one was too pompous and that he used John Gottman's books too much to explain our pr...

lnc12 · lnc12

I've been away from my AH for 2 weeks tomorrow. The first 2 days were horrible, but then things got progressively better. Now though, I feel like it's all starting over again. I want my husband back. Not the drunk that he has turned into, but the man inside of this drunk shell. I miss him so much. I just k...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I think it might be the case. One thing I want badly is to figure out how to forgive my exH and move forward on that. I"ve moved forward in my life in so many ways. I am so thrilled with my life, good and bad all together. I feel so strong in my decisions and taking care of myself and becoming the person I...

Advice Needed for Family Member · ChrisKNJ

My wife's mother is an alcoholic. She destroyed her life due to drinking. She lost her career, house, pets, and eventually went into cardiac arrest several times and was due to die. She ended up medically surviving and has made huge strides in getting her life back. She has re-established a relat...

rehprof · rehprof

Hi All -- For those of us who are slogging through our own recovery, and ready to try a new relationship after the A, I just HAD to share this from Getting them sober -- #4...IT IS SO ME!!!! Denial is also when we tell ourselves that what is, isn't; and when we tell ourselves that we really dont see what we do s...

Aloha · Aloha

Subject line is a simple thought for myself and others to chew on. Really, it makes perfect sense. No one can do it for me... so why should I feel I can magically do it for others...? Thank God, I can only do it for myself. I'm enough of a project as it is!

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	feeling very blessed tonight.... (Preview) my husband is an alcoholic. he has been sober for 2 years. i love him whether he is drinking or not drinking. he is an amazing man with a crappy disease. he does such nice things for me. we go to las vegas with my parents every year. he does this because he loves ME. he is gentle to the point of almost be...	debhud	2	220	Sep 19, 2012 by Zimmy
	How do I get off the wheel? (Preview) I am struggling this morning. I am blessed and thankful with the life that I have. My AH fixes dinner most nights. He works hard and I tell him often how much I appreciate him. The cooking, this point is making me miserable. You see 2 weeks ago he made bbq. I made my sandwich to my liking, piled with slaw (2 di...	Jackie11	7	505	Sep 19, 2012 by Zimmy
	When Someone Shows You Who They Are (Preview) On my current journey, I keep thinking of something I heard on Oprah probably 20 years ago. "When someone shows you who they are, believe them!". Wow. So simple, so true. In looking back on my life I realize that often times, with my current AH, he kept showing me who he was: an alcoholic who...	TrudyS85	4	535	Sep 18, 2012 by glad lee
	Acceptance and self honesty (Preview) As I was working through my 4th step (and plan to go through it again soon) one resounding theme was how much I can lie to myself. When others lie to me I dont get bent out of shape but I do let them know Im aware. Sort of an I saw what you did there but no further discussion needed. Doing that with my kids crea...	AStrongerMe	4	449	Sep 19, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Well That Didn't Take Long (Preview) I thought my AH was doing so well in rehab. Talked to him on the phone today about the rental we are trying to secure for him. Up till now he has been doing great (or so I thought), his attitude seemed so much better and I was hopeful. Well, we hit our first roadblock. The rental does not come with lawn servi...	TrudyS85	7	435	Sep 19, 2012 by holivex
	New to this group (Preview) Hi .....I am new to this group. My story....I was married to a alcoholic for 10 years he conned me, manipulated me, verbally abused me.I finally got into Al anon, started to heal..told him to either get help for his drinking or leave,I wasn't about to leave the home with 3 small children & he knew I me...	Icie	3	411	Sep 18, 2012 by Icie
	UGH! I threw my acceptance right out the window! (Preview) I came home early from a trip tonight and found AH trying to hide his beer cans and bottles. I did NOT handle it well. I slammed a few doors, stomped around like a tantrum throwing child. I didn't engage, but I do feel like shutting down and shutting him out again. He accused me of trying to trap him, I to...	ilovedogs	7	545	Sep 18, 2012 by glad lee
	I am afraid to share my true feelings (Preview) As some of you may know I have been dating a man for a couple months now and at first I fell fast and hard. Now that a little bit of the newness as worn down and I am proceeding with caution I am getting yellow flags, not quite red. We addressed the issue with him and his friends that are girls and I am watching to...	Breakingfree	8	482	Sep 18, 2012 by Debilyn
	The alcoholic and handling bad news. (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I would like to share. The alcoholic in my life is my father. He had surgery to remove his prostate some time back because they detected early cancer. Everything was fine. The doctor asked him to come in again for another blood test as a precaution to ensure the ca...	slogan_jim	5	425	Sep 18, 2012 by Debilyn
	Soldier in trouble (Preview) I know I am an alcoholic, and today i found out my wife is leaving me. Most of the problems in our marriage stem from my alcohol use, and her father is an alcoholic also. I dont know what to do, all i want right now is to drink myself into oblivion. i have lost everything and i have been lying to her and myself fo...	Bodycount02	7	493	Sep 18, 2012 by gdmbm76
	Making Amends (Preview) My husband is new to recovery, A, for approx 9 months. I discovered that he has been in contact with an ex GF, making amends from almost 3 decades ago. He contacted her via his work email and then lied to me about it. I understand needing to make amends but am hurt that he hid the contact from me and finall...	Thelma	6	411	Sep 18, 2012 by pinkchip
	Talking (Preview) He just don't talk to me about anything. Its really like 2 room mates. He quit drinking and he has been working OT to get through it. Then he goes to bed some times I Feel its just like when he was drinking. He always drank at home and he smokes, so he was out side in the summer and in the garage in the winter. But...	peacewithin	2	247	Sep 18, 2012 by pinkchip
	Sliding out of Sobriety (Preview) I haven't been here for awhile. Life has been relatively peaceful, but I feel a storm a brewing. AH decided that he wasn't an A many months ago, and being drinking "just a little" again. Here and there. Mostly keeping it undercontrol. Maybe once a month. I've done my best to apply my Al...	Hot Chicka	2	383	Sep 18, 2012 by Tracy
	Loved one in in-patient rehab (Preview) My boyfriend is doing in-patient rehab for alcohol. He was in detox for 12 days here locally then transferred to a place a few hours away when a bed became open. We had a falling out about the 3rd day of his detox over me not wanting to give him a phone number of one of his friends. So when he left, we're not...	Wanttohelp	6	415	Sep 18, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	where do I begin--at the beginning? (Preview) The beginning is always the best place to start. I am very grateful today as I am feeling pretty OK today. I am content w/where I am. Had a fairly good weekend sharing 25 years of sobriety for a good friend of ours. It was very special to me as well as the others at the meeting. But, down to the reason I am on her...	Hoot Nanny	1	379	Sep 18, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	How do you help your children detach? (Preview) Yesterday I got so incredibly furious at both my AH and his mother. We were in the car, heading up to spend the night at my sister's. On the way, one of my twins wanted to call his dad. He has been writing and mailing letters to him. I have encouraged that (or journaling) because I think it's important f...	holivex	4	782	Sep 17, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Men in Alanon... (Preview) I vowed and declared I would never call myself an oldtimer. So I decided to call me a long-timer.... I do the adult child programme inside of Alanon and have done for thirty years now. Long ago I learned to see the similarities not the differences. Last year I was fortunate to be in the United States with m...	DavidG	10	576	Sep 17, 2012 by DavidG
	It's time (Preview) There are many things that it is time for one of them is it's time for me to finish this divorce. I have thought and prayed about it and received some new information and I AM DEF going respond in a very appropriate way. It's amazing to me how God continues to bless and present things just as I need them. ...	Pushka	12	549	Sep 17, 2012 by Pushka
	Starting 4th Step - Sponsors/Meetings (Preview) Have not been to many F@F meetings. I was to emotional in the beginning to deal with the pain and embarrased when I would start crying. I wanted to get the focus of of him and on me before I started this, however I have been toying with the sheets and know where I feel I need to concentrate. I feel stronger...	JJ21	3	3361	Sep 17, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I'm lost (Preview) I have no idea what to do. My husband is an alcoholic. He was a drinker when we married 21 years ago, but everyone we knew drank then. I grew up and grew out of it but he didn't. Around 15 years ago he quit and stayed sober for 10 years. Then 5 years ago he started up again. It has been hell. He had his own b...	Forward	3	450	Sep 17, 2012 by Breakingfree
	At the effect of a Compulsive Liar (Preview) I have many sober alcoholics around my life and come from an alcoholic Father. On three previous occasions I have suffered financial losses at the hands of people I trusted, loans, investments etc. Now I have done it again, this time with serious money. My investment partner after the global meltdow...	denro	4	537	Sep 17, 2012 by denro
	Wishing he would hit bottom (Preview) Wish the bottom would get here already otherwise I worry the rate of my ah's alcoholsmwillvsurly kill him...or someone else. Im feeling I need to get to a f2f as im too him focused, wishing for things beyond my control, analyzing, thinking and trying to change the things I CANT....that said. When will...	Theoceancalls	6	625	Sep 17, 2012 by TrudyS85
	Acceptance (share) (Preview) Hi, my name is slogan_jim and I would like to share on the notion of acceptance. I am feeling very lonely tonight. It's a saturday night, I am young, I should be out partying and having a great time out on the town. Then again, I feel like that is what is expected of me and not what I truly want right now. Right...	slogan_jim	1	454	Sep 17, 2012 by RoseODAT
	Lying? (Preview) We all know the A in our life lies when they drink. Well, in my case anyway. Does your A lie when they are sober? I mean about little petty stuff? Mine does. Not only that but continues to elaborate on that lie when that subject is brought up. I think a lot of it in my case is pride and not wanting to admi...	ELEKTRAWMN	18	747	Sep 16, 2012 by afglin
	Very Upsetting News (Preview) Right at bedtime . . . very relaxing. I heard tonight that my AH showed up at a business meeting at 9 am on Wednesday smelling like alcohol. They go around the room and everyone says something and when it was his turn he stood up and made a sarcastic remark about a girl who was evidently dressed "u...	WornOutMrsFixIt	4	408	Sep 16, 2012 by nyc018
	All my boundaries out the window (Preview) I set then in my mind when he started drinking again. No going with him to buy it, no buying it for him, no drinking with him. I never told him those boundaries, just kept them to myself. But he kinda threw me a curve ball...when he started drinking again it was the whiskey. The one think that turns him into a...	JAMIE74	3	481	Sep 16, 2012 by JAMIE74
	Need Some ESH for dealing with my A tonight (Preview) My AH works second shift. During the week, that is 3-11, and I am fast asleep by the time he gets home and starts drinking. Many months ago, in an effort to help preserve my sanity, I instituted some tactics like running a fan or white noise machine while I sleep, to mask the noise he makes and the sounds o...	stephaniej	3	559	Sep 16, 2012 by jitsuka
	Trying not to look! (Preview) The other day I went on FB, not through my normal account. I remembered I had an account through an old email address. I went on there and looked at my exA fiance's FB. Nothing much on there, but then I saw his 20 year old daughter, She is now friends with my exAF last girlfriend. They had all blocked this lad...	katfshh	4	489	Sep 16, 2012 by katfshh
	Plotting and planning .. (Preview) LOL .. my name is Pushka and I'm a meddler .. I need a 12 step daily program to remind me not to meddle. UGH!!! It's a really hard habit to break. So this weekend I was all so proud of myself for a few reasons .. my boundaries are getting stronger. I'm more able to see when I do things that cause me pain and ba...	Pushka	4	640	Sep 16, 2012 by Pushka
	Weird and sane and sober...Weird!! (Preview) I decided to not go to my home group last evening opting to drive out of town to a far off (23 miles!! OMG!!) shoreline community to hear a candidate speak to a group. He use to be the mayor and lotsa people want him back. Some of us feel he will be properly supportive to our native rights and sooooo I went...	Jerry F	8	725	Sep 16, 2012 by wildthang86
	Living with a RA (Preview) Today, we're driving in my car, when I realize that I'm almost completely out of gas. So, we seek the nearest gas station of our choice and pull in. I busy myself with making a few calls on my cell; I don't even know what he is going through. So I was a little shocked when he got in the car all huffy and call...	GailMichelle	4	723	Sep 16, 2012 by Jerry F
	Why Are A's So Mean (Preview) Whenever I have a conversation or a meetup with him, it always ends up with him angry and calling me names. Where does this come from? At first it was only directed at me but now it is starting to creep in when he is discussing other people. It seems to be so common but I don"t really understand it.	WornOutMrsFixIt	11	752	Sep 15, 2012 by likemyheart
	Rough night (Preview) My AH relapsed today, and in a way that has major consequences. I'm upset, and sad, and just so dissapointed. Every time I think he's moved forward and has some sobriety under his belt, it comes flinging back in awful ways. I'm by myself, and just feeling sad tonight. Sad that this man I love so much has th...	Findinghope	5	466	Sep 15, 2012 by Pushka
	I'm Getting there! (Preview) What a Week! Right Now My Husband is Going over one of the Hardest decission of His Life, and Our Lives will be Forever Changed come 2014! I'm Excited for Him, and a Little Nervous for Me, but I know that what ever or however, we will get to were we need to be! I have FAITH in My HP, So I Know I will be Lifted and Ca...	Jozie	5	517	Sep 15, 2012 by Zimmy
	Intervention (Preview) Sorry for not being on this board as much as i would like. There is so much going on. Today my sister and i called local social work and my parents house docter. We all together decided on a fast intervention at my mom. Their doctor went to her house to talk to her. Now she is totally pissed! she is angry with u...	Theemettaart	3	365	Sep 15, 2012 by Theemettaart
	Update...and a question about what to expect next... (Preview) Some of you might remember the post I had last weekend asking how I would know if I could trust to let AH back into the lives of my children and myself. Well, I have my answer. He's relapsed. He was even drinking the day I posted that topic. He showed up at the house for his first visitation with my kids. ...	holivex	5	489	Sep 15, 2012 by pinkchip
	It's Time (Preview) My S/O texted me and he finally said he wants to live on his own. So how I have to deal with the kids. I am very scared but alittle relieved. I have to figure things out and how I am going to do things. He has put me in so much debt. I am little angry but nothing I can do. If I don't get out I will never be happy. I know t...	InspiredPhotography	5	397	Sep 15, 2012 by pinkchip
	Flamed OUT!! (Preview) Aloha family. I just shaking the ashes off my butt after a full flame out last evening. I let myself and my ego get sideswiped last evening when to my armour, pulled out my gun and shot myself in the foot then telling myself "There you got yourself good that time". I'm still going thru the P...	Jerry F	12	708	Sep 15, 2012 by glad lee
	Emotional Abuse (Preview) http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm	InspiredPhotography	0	524	Sep 15, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Anxiety, Dreams, Etc. (Preview) I have always struggled with anxiety issues. I take medication on a daily basis (small amounts) but I am starting to have panic attacks breaking through again. I had two massive attacks today while I was at work and am even starting to have what is know as night terrors again. They are nightmares that...	WornOutMrsFixIt	2	486	Sep 15, 2012 by Jerry F
	something I learned (Preview) It was a movie. This lanky but cute teenager was in love with the pretty neighbor girl. They grew up together playing in forts, falling from trees,swimming, catching frogs. His sister was part of it too. As teens one day, he still in love with the girl, was sitting eating lunch with her. She was nice to hi...	Debilyn	4	419	Sep 15, 2012 by MadMax
	Help detaching (Preview) Hi everyone I'm having such trouble trying to keep my mind of my ah.he retires in two weeks and it's party on time,he has to start a program on Monday for his DUI. I know I can't control it and I'm trying to keep my mind busy .im good for a few ays I keep saying its not my problem but then I'll wake up and start wor...	Pipper	5	516	Sep 15, 2012 by Pipper
	Children Drinking (Preview) Can anyone tell me of a site where I can talk to someone with respect to my son's escalating drinking?	larusic	7	649	Sep 15, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	TODAY... My PROGRAM NEEDS ... (Preview) Did ya Ever Just Have... One of those Days.... Seems Everyone I Come In Contact with Lately has a "Poor Me" Story to Share... And tho I am a VERY Caring & Compassionate Person, I at times Just get tired of EVERYONE around me Focusing on Everything Wrong & Nothing thats Right! That is O...	Jozie	4	467	Sep 14, 2012 by orchidlover
	Family has cut me off - help (Preview) Hi everyone, I haven't been on for a bit but have been reading others posts and always come here when I need some esh. Long story short - today was pretty awful and my family (parents and sister) are cutting me off. I'm afraid it's for good. History - AH is a recovering alcoholic. We have a 3 year old son. We s...	nyc018	9	962	Sep 14, 2012 by Diva
	Just barely getting by right now... (Preview) Alright I'll be honest, I don't know where this share is going to go. I am in a lot of distress right now and need to vent. I've posted recently about my 22 year old addict son. He was released from rehab for coming up dirty on a drug test. In rehab he was getting high, really?! I was just floored. WE received t...	wildthang86	7	571	Sep 14, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	Up-Coming Tuesday Night Al-Anon Meeting in Chat & Continued Prayers, Please (Preview) I am unable to chair our Tuesday Night Al-Anon Meeting (Tuesday, Sept. 18th). I have to go out of state to visit with my Brother who has been in Hospital for over 2 weeks in critical condition. I am hoping someone can fill in for me as I am not exactly sure when I will be coming back home so it would be grea...	lacewing	2	353	Sep 14, 2012 by Jill
	At-home detox (Preview) So this is my first post here - haven't even had a chance to read other posts so sorry if I'm duplicating anything that's been posted before... But I'm in need of some advice regarding at-home medical detox. My mom is starting a medical detox at home on Monday, and I've got no idea what it entails... We...	KMC	10	750	Sep 14, 2012 by Jerry F
	Sister Problem (Preview) My sister is an alcoholic (in denial) She drinks and then writes me mean, horrible emails.this has been going on ofor 12 years, since our mother died. Sometimes, the next a.m., there is an apology e mail...often, not.(we live in diff. parts of the country) I have just taken it, until now. I called her an...	Auntyaya	3	423	Sep 14, 2012 by Auntyaya
	Why Am I Feeling Guilty (Preview) Well, he is only half way thru rehab, I have made it clear when he gets out that he can't come home. Why am I panicked today? I am feeling bad for where he might have to go live, somewhere not as nice as our home. I know I can't live with him, I have lost all trust for him, his verbal abuse and infidelities and sui...	TrudyS85	6	620	Sep 14, 2012 by pinkchip
	B-Day Memories (Preview) Today is the first XABF's b-day since we are not together I ended the relationship over a month ago. At first I felt sadness that we aren't together on his b-day and then I remembered the reality of all his past b-day's. He rarely spent any of them with me, when he did it was either first thing in the am or la...	IWannaFly	2	380	Sep 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Losing the Drama (Preview) I just returned from a very relaxing week-long vacation at a lake resort area about 500 miles from where I live. This was my first extended vacation since separating from my AH a year and a half ago. It was SO nice not to have to endure any drama during my break. In past years, I had to walk on my tiptoes aroun...	Green Eyes	3	387	Sep 13, 2012 by Debilyn
	where is the bottom (Preview) Just curious about what you all have to share about the situation of wondering when/if someone will hit their bottom. Just observing, you know- while working your al anon program. One terrible thing after another and he keeps going back to his idea of "controlled" drinking. After eve...	mehere80	6	503	Sep 13, 2012 by Mattie
	It's been far too long (Preview) Every time I come back here after a long absence, it is so cathartic. I read the posts and immediately filled with a sense of "I totally forgotl...I am NOT alone in this." My husband's alcoholism almost seems to take a track similar to bipolar disorder. He has definite "up" an...	stephaniej	6	385	Sep 13, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Update on me! (Preview) Hi all! AH and I have had 2 sessions of marriage counseling and they did not go well. NO surprises there, at least not for me. AH is surprised, though, and has decided we need to find a new counselor. He thought the first one was too pompous and that he used John Gottman's books too much to explain our pr...	ilovedogs	7	590	Sep 13, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Venting (Preview) I've been away from my AH for 2 weeks tomorrow. The first 2 days were horrible, but then things got progressively better. Now though, I feel like it's all starting over again. I want my husband back. Not the drunk that he has turned into, but the man inside of this drunk shell. I miss him so much. I just k...	lnc12	6	638	Sep 13, 2012 by Pushka
	So, I had someone suggest I have PTSD (Preview) I think it might be the case. One thing I want badly is to figure out how to forgive my exH and move forward on that. I"ve moved forward in my life in so many ways. I am so thrilled with my life, good and bad all together. I feel so strong in my decisions and taking care of myself and becoming the person I...	AStrongerMe	10	944	Sep 13, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Advice Needed for Family Member (Preview) My wife's mother is an alcoholic. She destroyed her life due to drinking. She lost her career, house, pets, and eventually went into cardiac arrest several times and was due to die. She ended up medically surviving and has made huge strides in getting her life back. She has re-established a relat...	ChrisKNJ	5	607	Sep 13, 2012 by pinkchip
	Dating / New Relationships (Preview) Hi All -- For those of us who are slogging through our own recovery, and ready to try a new relationship after the A, I just HAD to share this from Getting them sober -- #4...IT IS SO ME!!!! Denial is also when we tell ourselves that what is, isn't; and when we tell ourselves that we really dont see what we do s...	rehprof	9	592	Sep 13, 2012 by Aloha
	I cannot think and feel for another person. (Preview) Subject line is a simple thought for myself and others to chew on. Really, it makes perfect sense. No one can do it for me... so why should I feel I can magically do it for others...? Thank God, I can only do it for myself. I'm enough of a project as it is!	Aloha	7	593	Sep 13, 2012 by stephaniej
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.