His addiction has finally WON! - Al-Anon Family Group

glad lee · ~*Service Worker*~

His addiction has finally WON!

sisdragonfly1957 · Veteran Member

After 11 years I feel like I have been beaten by this diease. I am giving up. I Have no where to go, no money, he has MY car all the time now. I am just giving up...... I see no way out. i have burnt all my bridges with my family. I have no friends. I can see that is is keeping me isolated.

He is so sneaky, narrastic. mean ,lying and probally cheating, all though I don't know how (we haven't had sex in over a year)

I feel like he has broken my spirit.... he twist all my words, he talks over me, wont let me say anything. And there is all the s*&t I have done over the years for him. and all the crazy things he is doing now. (dealing, taking drugs and using other people) I know these feelings I'm having will pass, but right now I'm not in a good place. I never thought in a million years, my life would turn out this way. Please pray for me!

I am soon to be 55 years old, and today I feel lke a big baby, because I can't stop crying......

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

It sounds as if you have hit bottom. That is a tough and sobering (!) place to be.

The good news is that the only way is up. In a year, you could be at such a wonderful place that you will look back on this with disbelief.

Do you have a meeting? Can you get there today and every day you need it? And a sponsor? This is too big to tackle alone. Take good care of yourself. Hugs!

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Sis)))) That certainly isn't a nice place to be...been there and done that and got deeply involved in my own recovery. I learned alot which saved my mind, body, spirit, emotions and often my ass. One thing I learned was when I was done and had no way to go forward and all doors seemed to be closed to me...all I had to do was turn around and the one door I just came thru was still open. I could go back and find the better me and better times and by working the suggestions of the program of the Al-Anon Family Groups I arrived back at happy, peaceful, serene. She was ...where? I didn't know and it wasn't my responsibility. I gave away every excuse I had for not getting to meetings or working the program...everyone. I walked to meetings, hitchhiked, asked for rides, got a inexpensive car and most of all a Higher Power greater than my alcoholic/addict who I allowed into my life and to ransack it with my participation. Her disease was stunning beyond words and not even she liked being that sick. Looking at where I am today...the disease didn't win. I got the promise fulfilled that I heard at my first real Al-Anon meeting which comes in the closing of every meeting. "If you keep and open mind, you will find help". As on MIP the amount and value of the help is priceless. People here and in the meetings can save lives and minds and emotions and spirits.

That's a sucky place you're in...stop and turn around cause that door is still open. (((hugs))) smile

wildthang86 · Senior Member

I know that when I feel the way you are now I try to find something to do that makes me feel good. Me personally, I read trashy novels and drink coffee. But most of all when I feel down and out I come to MIP and read and post and read and post. Some of the ESH you will get will help you out too. Also just knowing you aren't alone and the only one who goes through what you are going through right now. This too shall pass comes to mind when my feelings seem to just be sitting there and not getting out of my way of living. The most important thing is to take care of youself first and foremost. Share on the board as much as you can and get these feelings out. You'll see how many people feel the same way you do. It's not a fun place to be and there are no easy fix its. But it seems that you have come to the right place at the right time. Your HP is working just for you. If you can maybe visit the chat room and see if anybody is there to chat with about how you are feeling so you can get more of your feelings out. Just a suggestion. I have used it before myself, it helped me. I am sending you many hugs and hope that you feel better soon.

Yours in recovery,
WILDTHANG86

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Sweet Lady, you are being abused. I invite you to look online for a support group for abused women. You may find help calling the Department of Human Services.

Believe me there is help out there. There are people who care. If you choose to go to this group, they can tell you about options for you.

There are jobs doing personal care for someone and you live in their home.

But to start, we always have to be sure if we want to go or stay. I only want to reassure you there IS help.

Right now you are wore out, tired, sad and empty! I am very very willing to advocate for you. That means if you want me to support you, guide you, pm me. I just will need to know where you live, city, state.

I can find resources for you to call and check out. NO expectations from me. I only would give you the info. I mean it is up to you if you choose to do this. (c:

It is the disease doing this to you not the man. He is very sick.

Please pm me if you like. It helps me too to help others. I would be humbly grateful! love,debilyn

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear Sis

Welcome to MIracles in Progresss

There is help and hope You are not alone. If you are not already doing so, please do check out the Alanon Face to Face meetings in your community and attend They can be found by checking the white pages under"Alanon Inter Group.

We believe that Alcoholism is a disease over which we are powerless. We who live with this disease are adversely affected and NEED a program of our own to recover. It is important to break the isolation and hopelessness caused by living in this disease.

Al Anon is a fellowship of persons who understand as few others can They too have felt as you do and found a new way.

Please come back here often, share, read and know you are not alone

Hoot Nanny · ~*Service Worker*~

Just want to say Hang in there! I have been to some of these places in life & like Jerry F. said it is not a fun place to be.

I personally know that if I have some kind of faith it will get better, because it has for me. I can only speak for myself

though.

Kathleen

Icie · Senior Member

I hope you can get to some face to face Al anon meetings.
I have been where you are. I was a verbally abused lady by my Alcoholic DH and my son has
tried to verbally abuse me, I shut that down pretty quick.
All because of the help I received from Al anon.
I also went to group therapy for spouses of Alcoholics.
There is help out there.
I know your pain, your feeling of being defeated.
Keep coming back

Hugs Icie

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs I just wanted to say welcome as you have already received some wonderful ESH, you are not alone. Please keep coming back it really does keep getting better.

Hugs P :)

tiredtonite · Veteran Member

You may be having a spiritual awakening. I hope you keep coming back to this board and will keep sharing your progress. In person Alanon meetings can be such a comfort and opportunity to regain your strength and sanity. If you can give them a try. You're worth it! Hugs TT

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

I too found myself at my bottom and couldn't believe the mess that was my life. The good news is it made me make the changes, get to face to face Al-anon meetings and I got a do over. Things can and will get better if you can dive into your own Al-anon recovery program and scrape yourself up and move forward. Sending you much love and support right now!

orchidlover · ~*Service Worker*~

I don't think you are a baby. Anyone would be upset in your circumstances. Remember most of us have been in similar places at different times. I put all my egss in one basket with the ex a. Alcoholism is cunning in that way it requires all from everyone around it. Eventually I got to detachment but it didn't happen overnight.

Maresie.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.