Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

xjuliax · xjuliax

Hi, as I said I'm new to this,my partner is a recovering alcoholic and I am finding things difficult.He tells me I don't like him being sober which is untrue,I just didn't expect it to be so difficult for me.I like a glass of wine from time to time,we no longer live together because of his disease,but I f...

maresie · maresie

After 5 years with an active A destroying our lives I became very depressed. Fast forward another two years of learning the concepts of al anon and starting to put them in place I find I am less depressed. The problem for me is that I now find myself very annoyed with those who are. I don't let it out but I ha...

serenity041807 · serenity041807

I haven't posted here in a while. But now life and other things are showing up again and I need some feedback. My ABF who I live with went out in June for two weeks. He finally started to going to meetings again and managed to put together 45 days. Then this last Friday drank again. Things had been going so gr...

shadow1 · shadow1

((((((Family of choice)))))) I used to think how could anyone be grateful for the situation that we all face. I can truly say I am and this is why. When I arrived at the doors of Alanon I was numb, I didnt think it could get any worse. As I sat and listened to people share and would think they cant have it a...

david62 · david62

(((((Family))))) It has been a while since I posted something on here myself, other than replies. I am here. I read daily. Today I felt moved to share something with you all. I was sitting in a meeting of my "Other" program this morning and the topic was one of those that truly seem to reach...

J.R. · J.R.

I just started this forum today, and already replied to a post before even saying hello to yall. So, I figured I might was well do it before it gets too late.

charlescharles · charlescharles

..into my own madness here as my a is really just a huge pain in my ass but i can not get rid of her stifling i say and i am going to meetings and hopefully doing the right things and the trust is basically dead...and i am trying hard not to let her in my home...and i picked up the phone and its starting all over ag...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

Just some thoughts I'm having. I have posted a couple times. I have received responses, more than I was expecting. Some were overwhelming to me. I could not absorb the concepts that were being shared. I did get some things out of the responses though. I hope its ok. I was initially thinking I would post h...

Codependent · Codependent

If you read my previous post you know that my A is getting out of jail this week- probably by Friday and he is "planning" to come to my house. These are tentative plans because we had spoken of it, but now that it is coming to a date I am getting nervous and I can tell he is as well. He offered to go t...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Just when I thought things were getting on track BOOM!! Off the track again. I have been working my program and it has been working. I have been in therapy, and have been feeling quite well. Then last night my 22 year old daughter informs me that when her and AH went out for drinks about a month ago, he hit on...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well, I've finally spoken with my ex to hear from him what happened. It isnt pleasant. Apparently he's been drinking heavily for several months and has been using again. In a round about way he said that since him and I havent been together he's been really depressed which is why he escaped to drugs a...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

Is it normal to hate anyone that even socially drinks. I cant be in a room that drinks even if its socially without getting so mad. Yesterday we went to my mother in laws and she is a heavy drinker at weekends. Well she just said Im off to the pub now and I started going mad on the inside. I dont know yesterday e...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

But I am working on it. Tomorrow will be a better day. It just all came rushing back in technicolor when I saw him again. All the pain, the yelling, the punching, etc. But I must need to do this right now or else HP would not have brought me here. I have reached out and gotten some good help. I am hurting and exp...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Friends, I posted last week how I have been presented with a new job opportunity for a corporation. I appreciated all your responses so much, as they really moved me toward realizing that it is an opportunity I could not pass up if it was offered to me. I prayed that God would make it all very clear for me,...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, it looks like he will be out within the week at least until his next court date. When he told me yesterday I wanted to be happy, but instead I was just nervous and felt like telling him that it was good to talk to him for the past 6 months. I even went to far as to tell him that he usually he goes on a binge t...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I just got out of court with soon to be x. He came in all smiles and shaking hands- such a great guy on the outside. My piece is that I need a little bit of boo hoo time to process and grieve and hide in my bed for up to one day only. I get to look at my part. I get to thank god I got out alive, with my life well intact....

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, Well, we are both on our 30th day of recovery,(me and abf). I thought it would feel good getting to this magical marker, but if anything, I am more confused than ever. He is learning new tools and trying to make use of them, and for that I am grateful. I, too am learning to use my new tools, but a...

Maria123 · Maria123

Today is Carosie's Birthday! ((((((((((((My Caro)))))))))))), Wishing you a beautiful birthday, my friend I hope you and your son will be able to celebrate. Remember as our friend Karilynn says, eat as much as you want today. Calories don't count. Will be thinking of you all day. Love ya, Maria

mo14 · mo14

Hello all Well I just wanted to say I am going and getting the kids tomorrow to come back with me. They were only going to stay a couple of days with their dad but we decided to let them stay longer because they start school at the end of the week and he wont be able to be around them as much. I really have miss...

lmw · lmw

As I send my five-year-old running back to her bed for the 8th time (make that 9 now) in the past 20 minutes, and my son begins the nightly round of "bedtime flu" I have to remind myself I woke up grateful this morning. I didn't have to time to post this then, but I woke up with my 7-year-old son o...

afglin · afglin

My husband of 40 years is bi-polar. I have dealt with his mood swings for many years, but recently they seem to be greater. A doctor told him about 6 weeks ago he was in the middle of a 'severe manic episode" and might do "anything". Recently he has increased how much he drinks and how fa...

mslouise · mslouise

I started my weekend positive. I was so proud of myself on Saturaday. My recov bf spent the whole day Saturday away from home working on his hunting lease with his best friend (this is the friend that has the "friendly" girlfriend..past issues there). I was proud of myself, because I ac...

Tracy · Tracy

Over the past3 and a half years I have told my A I love him and always given him hope that things will work out. when we split I give him hope tell him I love him need space but will waite while he sorts himself out. He never does and just manipulates his way back into my life. Things have changed slowely as I am...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

Some of those who know me, know that I have recently suffered a misscarriage and had a D&C. Just over the weekend I have been feeling really really ill. Been sick and feel really run down. I am also in alot of pain in the lower region of my tummy (period pains) and I am bleeding very heavy. Im thinking I m...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hello Family, I am off into deep waters for the rest of the month as I sail south to my daughter's where I am going to look after the grandchildren and the 'zoo' for a week. I keep checking if my one brain cell is still functioning; or if I have any screws loose, however I am so looking forward to having the ch...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

so, I'm in a wierd mood... I am getting ready to move from ohio to nc...and I am realizing that I have to start over. I am gonna be in a new state that has no baggage. Now, that's a good thing but I am realizing that I am not going to have the familliarness of where I am now...and I'm scared cause even though I kno...

charlescharles · charlescharles

good evening folks thought i would share my a has really gone over the edge..threatening suicide..taking pilss and generally being rather unhappy and even tragic i told her today that i would either call the cops...change my phone number or even relocate i know these are just words but hopefully i ca...

joyoma · joyoma

This morning I was cautiously optimistic about my son's AA attendance the past two weeks. Now, just a few hours after that post, he calls. Ranting, slurring a bit, negativity, irritability, griping.....same old, same old. Good thing people here told me to have "no expectations" beca...

Marshmallow · Marshmallow

I'm new to the board. I left and filed for divorce from my AH over the past month. I do love him, we've been together for 20 years of which 13 we were married. I have been very angry and hurt for a long time. I started doing some al anon reading and meetings and it's making alot of sense. My father was a...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I feel like I will never be able to get really close to anyone ever again. This makes me sad. I have always craved this, of course. I know how to detach, but when will I learn to attach in a healthy way, if ever? I have learned how to not act through this program but how do I learn how to act? Any advice or ESH...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Although I have moved on with my life and am very happy, I can't help but have thoughts of my ex A b/f and all that he's dealing with right now. Guess thats one of my weaknesses. Once someone is in my heart, there always remains a place for them there, even if its a very little place. As you may recall, he was...

Loupiness · Loupiness

As thoughts come shooting into my mind, I have found it helpful to post them here. I have discovered it is a good way to keep me from obsessing, and get it out and processed. Then, the comments give me other helpful perspectives, so then I can move on. So, 4 in the morning and here I am... Over the past few da...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family!! I believe that I once posted about a customer and good friend that was having much trouble with being clean and sober and the ups and downs, ins and outs of relapse. Two weeks ago she was bundled up much to chagrin and hauled off to the rehab program very near to my home. She was reluctant an...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I don't know how to balance my relationship with my sisters and my relationship with my parents. I feel like I'm lieing to my parents when I don't tell them what I'm feeling (now that I am having all these new feelings). Instead what I have done is begin to avoid my parents and they have noticed. They asked...

notalone · notalone

When I need help I go to my friends. You are now invited to be my friend. Like I said I'm new to this. I have one face to face Naranon meeting under my belt. I will be back to it on Wednesday but I need more support. My 17 year old son is moving back into our life after a 90 day trip into rehab. This weekend he h...

joyoma · joyoma

I have spent the past 10 days or so being very steady and positive by hard work. My cancer issues are being addressed ODAT (the very words of my doctors), and I am accepting and working on healthy habits, including stress management. My son has two weeks of AA under his belt; he goes daily and has been sob...

cantmoveon · cantmoveon

so im not good at these message board thingys. well - actually i dont know if i'm not good at them i just haven't ever been on one. seems totally strage to me to reach out to a bunch of complete strangers and think they have any idea (or really care) about my long boring saga with my ex. BUT i promised a friend i...

maresie · maresie

As you all know I have been reading the book. the night of the gun by David Carr which is a recovery memoir of sorts. In the book he talks about what was the worst night for him in the drugging. For me, like David Carr, there were many many worst nights in dealing with the A. There were nights I felt absolutel...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

HI to all who know and those who don't: I GOT MY DRIVER'S LISCENCE!!!! I had so much anxiety and fear about about driving, and was totally dependant on AH for so many things related to the fact I couldn't drive. I tolerated horrible behavior and actions, including letting him drive when I knew he was drun...

maresie · maresie

Whatever happened along the way there were good times surely. There were time when the A cared, took care of, wanted a relationship. Whatever happened to him, whatever his drug addiction did, he became wanting a ATM relationship with me. I left the A a year ago, hung around for a long time taking care o...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Today's ODAT (One Day at a Time) really spoke to me. It spoke of the thought of running away and starting all over again and how that wouldn't work. Now that soudns like a good idea to me.....but where ever I go, there I am. I will be taking me with me and all my issues with me. Which brings me to the quot...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

Hi, I'm new. I just wanted to introduce myself. I am an adult child of two alcoholics. My sisters and I sort of stumbled down this road to recovery. I'm glad I found this board cause my sister and I went to an al-anon meeting and did not like it. I thought if I started here maybe it would be easier. Our therap...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well, my ex a b/f was given a choice, jail or rehab. Obviously he choose rehab. I havent talked to him because he isnt allowed to make or receive calls and isnt allowed to have visitors. My question is for those of you that have had their A in rehab. Are they allowed to see their sponsors? I would think...

glad · glad

Today at a meeting a super nice lady said the greatest thing to me. It's okay to cry and not know exactly why sometimes. Perhaps it's God washing out your soul. Made me think.... Sometimes it's concreate and sometimes it's just feelings. Or both but I don't have to know right away. If it's okay to smile a...

glad · glad

Okay he's trying, he's moody and obviously really wanting a beer. He said he was sorry for being short with me (sweet) and that he was just really having a hard time tonight. I said " is there anything I can do" he said "yea, go to the beer store" Believe it or not this is deep emotiona...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

OK, so I have been visiting this guy who I am kind of involved with here in Honolulu and he is pretty terrific but he drinks alcohol EVERY SINGLE DAY at night, often before going to bed...I am now kicking myself...of course I could ONLY find another alcoholic to fall in love with...fortunately, I have NO...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

What a gorgeous day it is today!! Well for me at least. Seems my ex a b/f has done it again. This time he couldnt hide especially from the lights and sirens that pulled him over yesterday for speeding, etc. Seems he is enjoying his drinks a little too much again and was pulled over and taken to jail wher...

Tracy · Tracy

One step forward two back I have finally realised I have to accept my Ab for who he really is and have really been trying to but out of his life. the only prob is the more i realise I carnt change him the more I think our relationship can not work. At the mo he is trying not to drink and is doing alright and has be...

Libby · Libby

I thought it was safe to go to bed (he was at a friends, "not unhappy drunk Mum" as he says, not going into town) then I was awakened at 2am - please Mum come and bring me some money, I can pay you back tomorrow - and guess what! I did! Can you believe it? I was fuming the whole time but I still did it! I w...

charlescharles · charlescharles

i have come to realize a few things today...maybe just getting more honest with myself here my real problems had have nothing to do with alcohol use..drug use...other people...other relationships i am simply..on some level..just a scared and frieghtened person..who has let others walk over him a...

charlescharles · charlescharles

hey..i'm in another dillemma and have no one to talk to about it it concerns my ex girlfriend and the woman that i have been with the deal is simple but i am making it complicated my friends are going down to the shore...were my ex might be the woman i am with now...all though we broke up...allthough we slep...

maresie · maresie

As I am doing my 4th step I am having to look at some of my charactor traits, one of them is real stubornness. Ask me to do something and my attachment to doing the opposite is right up there. When people suggested I leave the A I felt that I needed to be even more committed to the relationship to show them I cou...

greta · greta

I've had a couple of rough weeks. I have come to the realization that my little job here at the coast isn't the one for me. Hmmmm not realization..truth be acceptance. It is not a good paying job and my boss is an alcoholic. She and her husband are the general managers here and their normal day is to che...

lonewolfmama · lonewolfmama

Hello, The past four years I have been dating an A. The first two years he was abusive and I finally left him. A year later he came back in my life and was sober (but not through counseling or AA). We had a wonderful summer last year, and were able to rebuild our relationship. He made so many amends and we we...

JulieMarie · JulieMarie

I'm positive DH is an alcoholic. Except that he is positive that it's just my issue, because I don't understand social drinking. He drinks (usually alone) 2-3 times a week. Doesn't usually get "smashed" but often has just enough to not drive safely. Sometimes he does drink responsib...

charlescharles · charlescharles

hey all went to court today...spoke to the judge...got my girl off from her assault charges i still find her to be a b...and we broke up tonight..or so it goes my mind was spinning after words...she wanted to try to work things out but i guess i am putting my foot down i will not let her in my apartment anymor...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

It has been quite awhile since I have posted but I have been reading. There has been so much that has happened. But through it all I am actually feeling better. I set boundaries and stuck to them, that was extremely hard and heart breaking as well. It meant that I had to let my 18 year old son go. I fully belie...

maresie · maresie

A year ago I cut off all contact with the A. The past year has been a really hard slog. I am just beginning to emerge. I think for me now my tolerance for inappropriate behavior is getting in there. I put in better and better boundaries all the time. I really do. As a result I have more energy. I'm currentl...

glad · glad

Thanks to everyone for posting. Especially those things that we think are "silly" or maybe we shouldn't post... because in answering or identifying with others we are all helped. I think this is what "sponsoring" is all about too. Helping others allows sponsors to stay close...

maresie · maresie

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/20/magazine/20Carr-t.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hi,I'm a newcomer (Preview) Hi, as I said I'm new to this,my partner is a recovering alcoholic and I am finding things difficult.He tells me I don't like him being sober which is untrue,I just didn't expect it to be so difficult for me.I like a glass of wine from time to time,we no longer live together because of his disease,but I f...	xjuliax	4	479	Aug 7, 2008 by abbyal
	still over reacting (Preview) After 5 years with an active A destroying our lives I became very depressed. Fast forward another two years of learning the concepts of al anon and starting to put them in place I find I am less depressed. The problem for me is that I now find myself very annoyed with those who are. I don't let it out but I ha...	maresie	1	423	Aug 7, 2008 by kitty
	Cunning, Baffling and Powerful (Preview) I haven't posted here in a while. But now life and other things are showing up again and I need some feedback. My ABF who I live with went out in June for two weeks. He finally started to going to meetings again and managed to put together 45 days. Then this last Friday drank again. Things had been going so gr...	serenity041807	2	587	Aug 6, 2008 by maresie
	How grateful can we be??? (Preview) ((((((Family of choice)))))) I used to think how could anyone be grateful for the situation that we all face. I can truly say I am and this is why. When I arrived at the doors of Alanon I was numb, I didnt think it could get any worse. As I sat and listened to people share and would think they cant have it a...	shadow1	7	524	Aug 6, 2008 by norwood
	What are you filling yourself up with? (Preview) (((((Family))))) It has been a while since I posted something on here myself, other than replies. I am here. I read daily. Today I felt moved to share something with you all. I was sitting in a meeting of my "Other" program this morning and the topic was one of those that truly seem to reach...	david62	7	668	Aug 6, 2008 by maresie
	Hello all! (Preview) I just started this forum today, and already replied to a post before even saying hello to yall. So, I figured I might was well do it before it gets too late.	J.R.	3	379	Aug 6, 2008 by Jean4444
	quietly suffacating... (Preview) ..into my own madness here as my a is really just a huge pain in my ass but i can not get rid of her stifling i say and i am going to meetings and hopefully doing the right things and the trust is basically dead...and i am trying hard not to let her in my home...and i picked up the phone and its starting all over ag...	charlescharles	6	545	Aug 6, 2008 by maresie
	Thoughts (Preview) Just some thoughts I'm having. I have posted a couple times. I have received responses, more than I was expecting. Some were overwhelming to me. I could not absorb the concepts that were being shared. I did get some things out of the responses though. I hope its ok. I was initially thinking I would post h...	StargazerLily	2	325	Aug 6, 2008 by J.R.
	Detachment- I need some tips as quickly as possible. :) (Preview) If you read my previous post you know that my A is getting out of jail this week- probably by Friday and he is "planning" to come to my house. These are tentative plans because we had spoken of it, but now that it is coming to a date I am getting nervous and I can tell he is as well. He offered to go t...	Codependent	7	811	Aug 6, 2008 by maresie
	My AH hit on my daughter!!! (Preview) Just when I thought things were getting on track BOOM!! Off the track again. I have been working my program and it has been working. I have been in therapy, and have been feeling quite well. Then last night my 22 year old daughter informs me that when her and AH went out for drinks about a month ago, he hit on...	wildthang86	7	726	Aug 6, 2008 by wildthang86
	Finally spoke with my ex (Preview) Well, I've finally spoken with my ex to hear from him what happened. It isnt pleasant. Apparently he's been drinking heavily for several months and has been using again. In a round about way he said that since him and I havent been together he's been really depressed which is why he escaped to drugs a...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	2	553	Aug 6, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	Is it normal? (Preview) Is it normal to hate anyone that even socially drinks. I cant be in a room that drinks even if its socially without getting so mad. Yesterday we went to my mother in laws and she is a heavy drinker at weekends. Well she just said Im off to the pub now and I started going mad on the inside. I dont know yesterday e...	mum2leahnjosh	9	470	Aug 6, 2008 by SammyQ
	Lost all my serenity at the sight of my abuser in court today (Preview) But I am working on it. Tomorrow will be a better day. It just all came rushing back in technicolor when I saw him again. All the pain, the yelling, the punching, etc. But I must need to do this right now or else HP would not have brought me here. I have reached out and gotten some good help. I am hurting and exp...	Jean4444	9	634	Aug 5, 2008 by maresie
	putting it all together.... (Preview) Friends, I posted last week how I have been presented with a new job opportunity for a corporation. I appreciated all your responses so much, as they really moved me toward realizing that it is an opportunity I could not pass up if it was offered to me. I prayed that God would make it all very clear for me,...	Loupiness	2	361	Aug 5, 2008 by nmike
	He's getting out and I am nervous. (Preview) Well, it looks like he will be out within the week at least until his next court date. When he told me yesterday I wanted to be happy, but instead I was just nervous and felt like telling him that it was good to talk to him for the past 6 months. I even went to far as to tell him that he usually he goes on a binge t...	Codependent	4	599	Aug 5, 2008 by RLC
	my seasons (Preview) I just got out of court with soon to be x. He came in all smiles and shaking hands- such a great guy on the outside. My piece is that I need a little bit of boo hoo time to process and grieve and hide in my bed for up to one day only. I get to look at my part. I get to thank god I got out alive, with my life well intact....	Jean4444	4	317	Aug 5, 2008 by Loupiness
	30 days (Preview) Hello all, Well, we are both on our 30th day of recovery,(me and abf). I thought it would feel good getting to this magical marker, but if anything, I am more confused than ever. He is learning new tools and trying to make use of them, and for that I am grateful. I, too am learning to use my new tools, but a...	liljeannie	4	276	Aug 5, 2008 by liljeannie
	A Very Special and Loved Birthday Girl Today (Preview) Today is Carosie's Birthday! ((((((((((((My Caro)))))))))))), Wishing you a beautiful birthday, my friend I hope you and your son will be able to celebrate. Remember as our friend Karilynn says, eat as much as you want today. Calories don't count. Will be thinking of you all day. Love ya, Maria	Maria123	9	383	Aug 5, 2008 by Peggy7
	the kids are coming back (Preview) Hello all Well I just wanted to say I am going and getting the kids tomorrow to come back with me. They were only going to stay a couple of days with their dad but we decided to let them stay longer because they start school at the end of the week and he wont be able to be around them as much. I really have miss...	mo14	1	374	Aug 4, 2008 by Mandy123
	Reminding Myself I'm Grateful.... (Preview) As I send my five-year-old running back to her bed for the 8th time (make that 9 now) in the past 20 minutes, and my son begins the nightly round of "bedtime flu" I have to remind myself I woke up grateful this morning. I didn't have to time to post this then, but I woke up with my 7-year-old son o...	lmw	3	363	Aug 4, 2008 by lmw
	mood swings? (Preview) My husband of 40 years is bi-polar. I have dealt with his mood swings for many years, but recently they seem to be greater. A doctor told him about 6 weeks ago he was in the middle of a 'severe manic episode" and might do "anything". Recently he has increased how much he drinks and how fa...	afglin	5	456	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	You all really do help...my saturday (Preview) I started my weekend positive. I was so proud of myself on Saturaday. My recov bf spent the whole day Saturday away from home working on his hunting lease with his best friend (this is the friend that has the "friendly" girlfriend..past issues there). I was proud of myself, because I ac...	mslouise	4	601	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	running (Preview) Over the past3 and a half years I have told my A I love him and always given him hope that things will work out. when we split I give him hope tell him I love him need space but will waite while he sorts himself out. He never does and just manipulates his way back into my life. Things have changed slowely as I am...	Tracy	4	429	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	Please pray for me (Preview) Some of those who know me, know that I have recently suffered a misscarriage and had a D&C. Just over the weekend I have been feeling really really ill. Been sick and feel really run down. I am also in alot of pain in the lower region of my tummy (period pains) and I am bleeding very heavy. Im thinking I m...	mum2leahnjosh	4	462	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	Off into deep waters... (Preview) Hello Family, I am off into deep waters for the rest of the month as I sail south to my daughter's where I am going to look after the grandchildren and the 'zoo' for a week. I keep checking if my one brain cell is still functioning; or if I have any screws loose, however I am so looking forward to having the ch...	Suzannah	1	389	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	square 1 (Preview) so, I'm in a wierd mood... I am getting ready to move from ohio to nc...and I am realizing that I have to start over. I am gonna be in a new state that has no baggage. Now, that's a good thing but I am realizing that I am not going to have the familliarness of where I am now...and I'm scared cause even though I kno...	seekingserenity	3	392	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	another stary night (Preview) good evening folks thought i would share my a has really gone over the edge..threatening suicide..taking pilss and generally being rather unhappy and even tragic i told her today that i would either call the cops...change my phone number or even relocate i know these are just words but hopefully i ca...	charlescharles	5	482	Aug 4, 2008 by lin0606
	A few hours later!! (Preview) This morning I was cautiously optimistic about my son's AA attendance the past two weeks. Now, just a few hours after that post, he calls. Ranting, slurring a bit, negativity, irritability, griping.....same old, same old. Good thing people here told me to have "no expectations" beca...	joyoma	4	551	Aug 4, 2008 by lin0606
	Emotions (Preview) I'm new to the board. I left and filed for divorce from my AH over the past month. I do love him, we've been together for 20 years of which 13 we were married. I have been very angry and hurt for a long time. I started doing some al anon reading and meetings and it's making alot of sense. My father was a...	Marshmallow	3	724	Aug 4, 2008 by Suzannah
	Never getting close? (Preview) I feel like I will never be able to get really close to anyone ever again. This makes me sad. I have always craved this, of course. I know how to detach, but when will I learn to attach in a healthy way, if ever? I have learned how to not act through this program but how do I learn how to act? Any advice or ESH...	Jean4444	14	601	Aug 4, 2008 by Jean4444
	Feeling Helpless Even Though I Should Be Feeling Relieved (Preview) Although I have moved on with my life and am very happy, I can't help but have thoughts of my ex A b/f and all that he's dealing with right now. Guess thats one of my weaknesses. Once someone is in my heart, there always remains a place for them there, even if its a very little place. As you may recall, he was...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	4	736	Aug 4, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	it doesn't have to mean anything... (Preview) As thoughts come shooting into my mind, I have found it helpful to post them here. I have discovered it is a good way to keep me from obsessing, and get it out and processed. Then, the comments give me other helpful perspectives, so then I can move on. So, 4 in the morning and here I am... Over the past few da...	Loupiness	5	565	Aug 4, 2008 by Jean4444
	God never gives you more than you can handle. (Preview) Aloha Family!! I believe that I once posted about a customer and good friend that was having much trouble with being clean and sober and the ups and downs, ins and outs of relapse. Two weeks ago she was bundled up much to chagrin and hauled off to the rehab program very near to my home. She was reluctant an...	Jerry F	6	625	Aug 4, 2008 by Suzannah
	Question regarding my parents (Preview) I don't know how to balance my relationship with my sisters and my relationship with my parents. I feel like I'm lieing to my parents when I don't tell them what I'm feeling (now that I am having all these new feelings). Instead what I have done is begin to avoid my parents and they have noticed. They asked...	StargazerLily	5	481	Aug 4, 2008 by StargazerLily
	brand new to this life (Preview) When I need help I go to my friends. You are now invited to be my friend. Like I said I'm new to this. I have one face to face Naranon meeting under my belt. I will be back to it on Wednesday but I need more support. My 17 year old son is moving back into our life after a 90 day trip into rehab. This weekend he h...	notalone	2	524	Aug 4, 2008 by Jerry F
	being steady/positive (Preview) I have spent the past 10 days or so being very steady and positive by hard work. My cancer issues are being addressed ODAT (the very words of my doctors), and I am accepting and working on healthy habits, including stress management. My son has two weeks of AA under his belt; he goes daily and has been sob...	joyoma	2	498	Aug 4, 2008 by Jerry F
	new. and annoyed! (Preview) so im not good at these message board thingys. well - actually i dont know if i'm not good at them i just haven't ever been on one. seems totally strage to me to reach out to a bunch of complete strangers and think they have any idea (or really care) about my long boring saga with my ex. BUT i promised a friend i...	cantmoveon	17	862	Aug 3, 2008 by cantmoveon
	The worst night (Preview) As you all know I have been reading the book. the night of the gun by David Carr which is a recovery memoir of sorts. In the book he talks about what was the worst night for him in the drugging. For me, like David Carr, there were many many worst nights in dealing with the A. There were nights I felt absolutel...	maresie	7	455	Aug 3, 2008 by Becky1
	It's HUGE!!! (Preview) HI to all who know and those who don't: I GOT MY DRIVER'S LISCENCE!!!! I had so much anxiety and fear about about driving, and was totally dependant on AH for so many things related to the fact I couldn't drive. I tolerated horrible behavior and actions, including letting him drive when I knew he was drun...	RainyJamie	15	567	Aug 3, 2008 by Becky1
	The ATM relationship (Preview) Whatever happened along the way there were good times surely. There were time when the A cared, took care of, wanted a relationship. Whatever happened to him, whatever his drug addiction did, he became wanting a ATM relationship with me. I left the A a year ago, hung around for a long time taking care o...	maresie	1	494	Aug 3, 2008 by Becky1
	Today's ODAT (Preview) Hi all, Today's ODAT (One Day at a Time) really spoke to me. It spoke of the thought of running away and starting all over again and how that wouldn't work. Now that soudns like a good idea to me.....but where ever I go, there I am. I will be taking me with me and all my issues with me. Which brings me to the quot...	Mandy123	3	5314	Aug 3, 2008 by Maria123
	Hi Everyone (Preview) Hi, I'm new. I just wanted to introduce myself. I am an adult child of two alcoholics. My sisters and I sort of stumbled down this road to recovery. I'm glad I found this board cause my sister and I went to an al-anon meeting and did not like it. I thought if I started here maybe it would be easier. Our therap...	StargazerLily	9	515	Aug 3, 2008 by Loupiness
	Update and Information Needed On Rehab (Preview) Well, my ex a b/f was given a choice, jail or rehab. Obviously he choose rehab. I havent talked to him because he isnt allowed to make or receive calls and isnt allowed to have visitors. My question is for those of you that have had their A in rehab. Are they allowed to see their sponsors? I would think...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	10	507	Aug 3, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	Emotions (Preview) Today at a meeting a super nice lady said the greatest thing to me. It's okay to cry and not know exactly why sometimes. Perhaps it's God washing out your soul. Made me think.... Sometimes it's concreate and sometimes it's just feelings. Or both but I don't have to know right away. If it's okay to smile a...	glad	1	419	Aug 2, 2008 by Jean4444
	What to do when you see them hurting? (Preview) Okay he's trying, he's moody and obviously really wanting a beer. He said he was sorry for being short with me (sweet) and that he was just really having a hard time tonight. I said " is there anything I can do" he said "yea, go to the beer store" Believe it or not this is deep emotiona...	glad	11	669	Aug 2, 2008 by glad
	ANOTHER A walks into my life??!!....yikes! (Preview) OK, so I have been visiting this guy who I am kind of involved with here in Honolulu and he is pretty terrific but he drinks alcohol EVERY SINGLE DAY at night, often before going to bed...I am now kicking myself...of course I could ONLY find another alcoholic to fall in love with...fortunately, I have NO...	Jean4444	11	491	Aug 2, 2008 by Loupiness
	Low and behold, he's crashed and is suffering the consequences (Preview) What a gorgeous day it is today!! Well for me at least. Seems my ex a b/f has done it again. This time he couldnt hide especially from the lights and sirens that pulled him over yesterday for speeding, etc. Seems he is enjoying his drinks a little too much again and was pulled over and taken to jail wher...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	3	609	Aug 2, 2008 by maresie
	what about me (Preview) One step forward two back I have finally realised I have to accept my Ab for who he really is and have really been trying to but out of his life. the only prob is the more i realise I carnt change him the more I think our relationship can not work. At the mo he is trying not to drink and is doing alright and has be...	Tracy	6	555	Aug 2, 2008 by lin0606
	Guess what I did last night (Preview) I thought it was safe to go to bed (he was at a friends, "not unhappy drunk Mum" as he says, not going into town) then I was awakened at 2am - please Mum come and bring me some money, I can pay you back tomorrow - and guess what! I did! Can you believe it? I was fuming the whole time but I still did it! I w...	Libby	9	719	Aug 2, 2008 by Sincerely
	realization (Preview) i have come to realize a few things today...maybe just getting more honest with myself here my real problems had have nothing to do with alcohol use..drug use...other people...other relationships i am simply..on some level..just a scared and frieghtened person..who has let others walk over him a...	charlescharles	4	423	Aug 2, 2008 by lin0606
	i really need some advise (Preview) hey..i'm in another dillemma and have no one to talk to about it it concerns my ex girlfriend and the woman that i have been with the deal is simple but i am making it complicated my friends are going down to the shore...were my ex might be the woman i am with now...all though we broke up...allthough we slep...	charlescharles	12	563	Aug 2, 2008 by lin0606
	HALT in practice (Preview) As I am doing my 4th step I am having to look at some of my charactor traits, one of them is real stubornness. Ask me to do something and my attachment to doing the opposite is right up there. When people suggested I leave the A I felt that I needed to be even more committed to the relationship to show them I cou...	maresie	3	869	Aug 2, 2008 by Mobirdie
	Sometimes I just don't want to! (Preview) I've had a couple of rough weeks. I have come to the realization that my little job here at the coast isn't the one for me. Hmmmm not realization..truth be acceptance. It is not a good paying job and my boss is an alcoholic. She and her husband are the general managers here and their normal day is to che...	greta	3	503	Aug 2, 2008 by nmike
	Pregnant with A Boyfriend, no Alanon mtg in my area (Preview) Hello, The past four years I have been dating an A. The first two years he was abusive and I finally left him. A year later he came back in my life and was sober (but not through counseling or AA). We had a wonderful summer last year, and were able to rebuild our relationship. He made so many amends and we we...	lonewolfmama	6	661	Aug 2, 2008 by Shark
	New Here......which way is up? (Preview) I'm positive DH is an alcoholic. Except that he is positive that it's just my issue, because I don't understand social drinking. He drinks (usually alone) 2-3 times a week. Doesn't usually get "smashed" but often has just enough to not drive safely. Sometimes he does drink responsib...	JulieMarie	4	617	Aug 2, 2008 by Jerry F
	tough nite (Preview) hey all went to court today...spoke to the judge...got my girl off from her assault charges i still find her to be a b...and we broke up tonight..or so it goes my mind was spinning after words...she wanted to try to work things out but i guess i am putting my foot down i will not let her in my apartment anymor...	charlescharles	3	552	Aug 1, 2008 by maresie
	It's been sooooo long... (Preview) It has been quite awhile since I have posted but I have been reading. There has been so much that has happened. But through it all I am actually feeling better. I set boundaries and stuck to them, that was extremely hard and heart breaking as well. It meant that I had to let my 18 year old son go. I fully belie...	wildthang86	7	478	Aug 1, 2008 by maresie
	life without the A (Preview) A year ago I cut off all contact with the A. The past year has been a really hard slog. I am just beginning to emerge. I think for me now my tolerance for inappropriate behavior is getting in there. I put in better and better boundaries all the time. I really do. As a result I have more energy. I'm currentl...	maresie	5	449	Aug 1, 2008 by kitty
	No Job too small for HP (Preview) Thanks to everyone for posting. Especially those things that we think are "silly" or maybe we shouldn't post... because in answering or identifying with others we are all helped. I think this is what "sponsoring" is all about too. Helping others allows sponsors to stay close...	glad	2	379	Aug 1, 2008 by SmallSteps
	fourth step (Preview) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/20/magazine/20Carr-t.html?_r=1&oref=slogin	maresie	3	387	Aug 1, 2008 by kitty
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.