Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well, I've finally spoken with my ex to hear from him what happened. It isnt pleasant. Apparently he's been drinking heavily for several months and has been using again. In a round about way he said that since him and I havent been together he's been really depressed which is why he escaped to drugs a...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

Is it normal to hate anyone that even socially drinks. I cant be in a room that drinks even if its socially without getting so mad. Yesterday we went to my mother in laws and she is a heavy drinker at weekends. Well she just said Im off to the pub now and I started going mad on the inside. I dont know yesterday e...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

But I am working on it. Tomorrow will be a better day. It just all came rushing back in technicolor when I saw him again. All the pain, the yelling, the punching, etc. But I must need to do this right now or else HP would not have brought me here. I have reached out and gotten some good help. I am hurting and exp...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Friends, I posted last week how I have been presented with a new job opportunity for a corporation. I appreciated all your responses so much, as they really moved me toward realizing that it is an opportunity I could not pass up if it was offered to me. I prayed that God would make it all very clear for me,...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, it looks like he will be out within the week at least until his next court date. When he told me yesterday I wanted to be happy, but instead I was just nervous and felt like telling him that it was good to talk to him for the past 6 months. I even went to far as to tell him that he usually he goes on a binge t...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I just got out of court with soon to be x. He came in all smiles and shaking hands- such a great guy on the outside. My piece is that I need a little bit of boo hoo time to process and grieve and hide in my bed for up to one day only. I get to look at my part. I get to thank god I got out alive, with my life well intact....

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, Well, we are both on our 30th day of recovery,(me and abf). I thought it would feel good getting to this magical marker, but if anything, I am more confused than ever. He is learning new tools and trying to make use of them, and for that I am grateful. I, too am learning to use my new tools, but a...

Maria123 · Maria123

Today is Carosie's Birthday! ((((((((((((My Caro)))))))))))), Wishing you a beautiful birthday, my friend I hope you and your son will be able to celebrate. Remember as our friend Karilynn says, eat as much as you want today. Calories don't count. Will be thinking of you all day. Love ya, Maria

mo14 · mo14

Hello all Well I just wanted to say I am going and getting the kids tomorrow to come back with me. They were only going to stay a couple of days with their dad but we decided to let them stay longer because they start school at the end of the week and he wont be able to be around them as much. I really have miss...

lmw · lmw

As I send my five-year-old running back to her bed for the 8th time (make that 9 now) in the past 20 minutes, and my son begins the nightly round of "bedtime flu" I have to remind myself I woke up grateful this morning. I didn't have to time to post this then, but I woke up with my 7-year-old son o...

afglin · afglin

My husband of 40 years is bi-polar. I have dealt with his mood swings for many years, but recently they seem to be greater. A doctor told him about 6 weeks ago he was in the middle of a 'severe manic episode" and might do "anything". Recently he has increased how much he drinks and how fa...

mslouise · mslouise

I started my weekend positive. I was so proud of myself on Saturaday. My recov bf spent the whole day Saturday away from home working on his hunting lease with his best friend (this is the friend that has the "friendly" girlfriend..past issues there). I was proud of myself, because I ac...

Tracy · Tracy

Over the past3 and a half years I have told my A I love him and always given him hope that things will work out. when we split I give him hope tell him I love him need space but will waite while he sorts himself out. He never does and just manipulates his way back into my life. Things have changed slowely as I am...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

Some of those who know me, know that I have recently suffered a misscarriage and had a D&C. Just over the weekend I have been feeling really really ill. Been sick and feel really run down. I am also in alot of pain in the lower region of my tummy (period pains) and I am bleeding very heavy. Im thinking I m...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hello Family, I am off into deep waters for the rest of the month as I sail south to my daughter's where I am going to look after the grandchildren and the 'zoo' for a week. I keep checking if my one brain cell is still functioning; or if I have any screws loose, however I am so looking forward to having the ch...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

so, I'm in a wierd mood... I am getting ready to move from ohio to nc...and I am realizing that I have to start over. I am gonna be in a new state that has no baggage. Now, that's a good thing but I am realizing that I am not going to have the familliarness of where I am now...and I'm scared cause even though I kno...

charlescharles · charlescharles

good evening folks thought i would share my a has really gone over the edge..threatening suicide..taking pilss and generally being rather unhappy and even tragic i told her today that i would either call the cops...change my phone number or even relocate i know these are just words but hopefully i ca...

joyoma · joyoma

This morning I was cautiously optimistic about my son's AA attendance the past two weeks. Now, just a few hours after that post, he calls. Ranting, slurring a bit, negativity, irritability, griping.....same old, same old. Good thing people here told me to have "no expectations" beca...

Marshmallow · Marshmallow

I'm new to the board. I left and filed for divorce from my AH over the past month. I do love him, we've been together for 20 years of which 13 we were married. I have been very angry and hurt for a long time. I started doing some al anon reading and meetings and it's making alot of sense. My father was a...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I feel like I will never be able to get really close to anyone ever again. This makes me sad. I have always craved this, of course. I know how to detach, but when will I learn to attach in a healthy way, if ever? I have learned how to not act through this program but how do I learn how to act? Any advice or ESH...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Although I have moved on with my life and am very happy, I can't help but have thoughts of my ex A b/f and all that he's dealing with right now. Guess thats one of my weaknesses. Once someone is in my heart, there always remains a place for them there, even if its a very little place. As you may recall, he was...

Loupiness · Loupiness

As thoughts come shooting into my mind, I have found it helpful to post them here. I have discovered it is a good way to keep me from obsessing, and get it out and processed. Then, the comments give me other helpful perspectives, so then I can move on. So, 4 in the morning and here I am... Over the past few da...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family!! I believe that I once posted about a customer and good friend that was having much trouble with being clean and sober and the ups and downs, ins and outs of relapse. Two weeks ago she was bundled up much to chagrin and hauled off to the rehab program very near to my home. She was reluctant an...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I don't know how to balance my relationship with my sisters and my relationship with my parents. I feel like I'm lieing to my parents when I don't tell them what I'm feeling (now that I am having all these new feelings). Instead what I have done is begin to avoid my parents and they have noticed. They asked...

notalone · notalone

When I need help I go to my friends. You are now invited to be my friend. Like I said I'm new to this. I have one face to face Naranon meeting under my belt. I will be back to it on Wednesday but I need more support. My 17 year old son is moving back into our life after a 90 day trip into rehab. This weekend he h...

joyoma · joyoma

I have spent the past 10 days or so being very steady and positive by hard work. My cancer issues are being addressed ODAT (the very words of my doctors), and I am accepting and working on healthy habits, including stress management. My son has two weeks of AA under his belt; he goes daily and has been sob...

cantmoveon · cantmoveon

so im not good at these message board thingys. well - actually i dont know if i'm not good at them i just haven't ever been on one. seems totally strage to me to reach out to a bunch of complete strangers and think they have any idea (or really care) about my long boring saga with my ex. BUT i promised a friend i...

maresie · maresie

As you all know I have been reading the book. the night of the gun by David Carr which is a recovery memoir of sorts. In the book he talks about what was the worst night for him in the drugging. For me, like David Carr, there were many many worst nights in dealing with the A. There were nights I felt absolutel...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

HI to all who know and those who don't: I GOT MY DRIVER'S LISCENCE!!!! I had so much anxiety and fear about about driving, and was totally dependant on AH for so many things related to the fact I couldn't drive. I tolerated horrible behavior and actions, including letting him drive when I knew he was drun...

maresie · maresie

Whatever happened along the way there were good times surely. There were time when the A cared, took care of, wanted a relationship. Whatever happened to him, whatever his drug addiction did, he became wanting a ATM relationship with me. I left the A a year ago, hung around for a long time taking care o...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Today's ODAT (One Day at a Time) really spoke to me. It spoke of the thought of running away and starting all over again and how that wouldn't work. Now that soudns like a good idea to me.....but where ever I go, there I am. I will be taking me with me and all my issues with me. Which brings me to the quot...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

Hi, I'm new. I just wanted to introduce myself. I am an adult child of two alcoholics. My sisters and I sort of stumbled down this road to recovery. I'm glad I found this board cause my sister and I went to an al-anon meeting and did not like it. I thought if I started here maybe it would be easier. Our therap...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well, my ex a b/f was given a choice, jail or rehab. Obviously he choose rehab. I havent talked to him because he isnt allowed to make or receive calls and isnt allowed to have visitors. My question is for those of you that have had their A in rehab. Are they allowed to see their sponsors? I would think...

glad · glad

Today at a meeting a super nice lady said the greatest thing to me. It's okay to cry and not know exactly why sometimes. Perhaps it's God washing out your soul. Made me think.... Sometimes it's concreate and sometimes it's just feelings. Or both but I don't have to know right away. If it's okay to smile a...

glad · glad

Okay he's trying, he's moody and obviously really wanting a beer. He said he was sorry for being short with me (sweet) and that he was just really having a hard time tonight. I said " is there anything I can do" he said "yea, go to the beer store" Believe it or not this is deep emotiona...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

OK, so I have been visiting this guy who I am kind of involved with here in Honolulu and he is pretty terrific but he drinks alcohol EVERY SINGLE DAY at night, often before going to bed...I am now kicking myself...of course I could ONLY find another alcoholic to fall in love with...fortunately, I have NO...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

What a gorgeous day it is today!! Well for me at least. Seems my ex a b/f has done it again. This time he couldnt hide especially from the lights and sirens that pulled him over yesterday for speeding, etc. Seems he is enjoying his drinks a little too much again and was pulled over and taken to jail wher...

Tracy · Tracy

One step forward two back I have finally realised I have to accept my Ab for who he really is and have really been trying to but out of his life. the only prob is the more i realise I carnt change him the more I think our relationship can not work. At the mo he is trying not to drink and is doing alright and has be...

Libby · Libby

I thought it was safe to go to bed (he was at a friends, "not unhappy drunk Mum" as he says, not going into town) then I was awakened at 2am - please Mum come and bring me some money, I can pay you back tomorrow - and guess what! I did! Can you believe it? I was fuming the whole time but I still did it! I w...

charlescharles · charlescharles

i have come to realize a few things today...maybe just getting more honest with myself here my real problems had have nothing to do with alcohol use..drug use...other people...other relationships i am simply..on some level..just a scared and frieghtened person..who has let others walk over him a...

charlescharles · charlescharles

hey..i'm in another dillemma and have no one to talk to about it it concerns my ex girlfriend and the woman that i have been with the deal is simple but i am making it complicated my friends are going down to the shore...were my ex might be the woman i am with now...all though we broke up...allthough we slep...

maresie · maresie

As I am doing my 4th step I am having to look at some of my charactor traits, one of them is real stubornness. Ask me to do something and my attachment to doing the opposite is right up there. When people suggested I leave the A I felt that I needed to be even more committed to the relationship to show them I cou...

greta · greta

I've had a couple of rough weeks. I have come to the realization that my little job here at the coast isn't the one for me. Hmmmm not realization..truth be acceptance. It is not a good paying job and my boss is an alcoholic. She and her husband are the general managers here and their normal day is to che...

lonewolfmama · lonewolfmama

Hello, The past four years I have been dating an A. The first two years he was abusive and I finally left him. A year later he came back in my life and was sober (but not through counseling or AA). We had a wonderful summer last year, and were able to rebuild our relationship. He made so many amends and we we...

JulieMarie · JulieMarie

I'm positive DH is an alcoholic. Except that he is positive that it's just my issue, because I don't understand social drinking. He drinks (usually alone) 2-3 times a week. Doesn't usually get "smashed" but often has just enough to not drive safely. Sometimes he does drink responsib...

charlescharles · charlescharles

hey all went to court today...spoke to the judge...got my girl off from her assault charges i still find her to be a b...and we broke up tonight..or so it goes my mind was spinning after words...she wanted to try to work things out but i guess i am putting my foot down i will not let her in my apartment anymor...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

It has been quite awhile since I have posted but I have been reading. There has been so much that has happened. But through it all I am actually feeling better. I set boundaries and stuck to them, that was extremely hard and heart breaking as well. It meant that I had to let my 18 year old son go. I fully belie...

maresie · maresie

A year ago I cut off all contact with the A. The past year has been a really hard slog. I am just beginning to emerge. I think for me now my tolerance for inappropriate behavior is getting in there. I put in better and better boundaries all the time. I really do. As a result I have more energy. I'm currentl...

glad · glad

Thanks to everyone for posting. Especially those things that we think are "silly" or maybe we shouldn't post... because in answering or identifying with others we are all helped. I think this is what "sponsoring" is all about too. Helping others allows sponsors to stay close...

maresie · maresie

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/20/magazine/20Carr-t.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

charlescharles · charlescharles

its thursday morning...something woke me up early today dreading the first phone call i will recieve today from the lady...miss her but need to continue to persevere feeling a bit empty here...thinking about my old life and wondering what it is that i am missing from the new which will catapolt me int...

Family members · maire rua

Dear All, I didn't get the job I went for on monday but am not too put out. It was not for me. My sister rang yesterday, having just arrived in the country, no warning, as usual, but this time, I set some boundaries. I pointed out that this method of arrival was not convenient and that I wished that she would n...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Finally, after pushing myself, and I mean really pushing myself, I was going to attend my 1st face to face this evening. And the whole way there, I was thinking........... This bites that I have to get out of my cozy house and go to this meeting. Ugh...I don't want to have to walk in there. This is crazy...

calicoconnie123 · calicoconnie123

My husband has been drinking all of his adult life. He is 62 years old. This is a typical work day for him. He gets home around 4:00pm, has three Vodka Martinis. Then at dinner around 6:00pm he has a glass of wine with dinner. After dinner he drinks a Scotch and Water. Then he drinks a beer. Then he drinks ano...

binohio · binohio

Hi, I am still looking for a permanent job its been almost a year. Have been working with some temp. agencies and have managed to stay temporarily for about nine months. My last assignment ended about a month ago. My mothers estate was settled a few months ago and I have been using that just to pay the esse...

Jen · Jen

I am having a particularly overwhelming problem that is greatly interfereing with my serenity. My neighbors just had a bunch of work done on the road and apparently think I am going to help pay for it. I feel like they think they have some right to spend my money, not that I have any to spend. They just got t...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I have a bit of a drive today (140 miles round trip) to pick it up, but that is okay. Hopefully I can start participating over here more now! The laptop has been rife with problems, not to mention the fact I need new trifocals and have been squinting at the small 14.5" screen on this thing! My Vocatio...

Kitten · Kitten

Ohh not sure how this all works... Am feeling really comforted having been this site for the first time today tho!! Was referred to Al-anon by my therapist who thought maybe my issues were related to being an adult child of an alcoholic....wow!!! There ia actually a term for it I am in awe. I think I must h...

MomGayle42 · MomGayle42

I have not called him since he went on a drinking binge and was put in jail for a DUI. It seems like it has been a few weeks but truthfully I do not know. I try hard to focus on my life, my younger son and when I catch myself slippping I say a prayer for him and then move on. Today I thought I should call though, jus...

Alone · Alone

You think after having a heart attack that you'd stop drinking, not my husband, he hasn't changed his ways in spite of his doctors advice. I am cooking and eating "heart healthy" and have even made the kids, but my husband is even cheating on that. I am so discusted with him. Not even a heart...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Finally spoke with my ex (Preview) Well, I've finally spoken with my ex to hear from him what happened. It isnt pleasant. Apparently he's been drinking heavily for several months and has been using again. In a round about way he said that since him and I havent been together he's been really depressed which is why he escaped to drugs a...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	2	540	Aug 6, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	Is it normal? (Preview) Is it normal to hate anyone that even socially drinks. I cant be in a room that drinks even if its socially without getting so mad. Yesterday we went to my mother in laws and she is a heavy drinker at weekends. Well she just said Im off to the pub now and I started going mad on the inside. I dont know yesterday e...	mum2leahnjosh	9	456	Aug 6, 2008 by SammyQ
	Lost all my serenity at the sight of my abuser in court today (Preview) But I am working on it. Tomorrow will be a better day. It just all came rushing back in technicolor when I saw him again. All the pain, the yelling, the punching, etc. But I must need to do this right now or else HP would not have brought me here. I have reached out and gotten some good help. I am hurting and exp...	Jean4444	9	622	Aug 5, 2008 by maresie
	putting it all together.... (Preview) Friends, I posted last week how I have been presented with a new job opportunity for a corporation. I appreciated all your responses so much, as they really moved me toward realizing that it is an opportunity I could not pass up if it was offered to me. I prayed that God would make it all very clear for me,...	Loupiness	2	349	Aug 5, 2008 by nmike
	He's getting out and I am nervous. (Preview) Well, it looks like he will be out within the week at least until his next court date. When he told me yesterday I wanted to be happy, but instead I was just nervous and felt like telling him that it was good to talk to him for the past 6 months. I even went to far as to tell him that he usually he goes on a binge t...	Codependent	4	586	Aug 5, 2008 by RLC
	my seasons (Preview) I just got out of court with soon to be x. He came in all smiles and shaking hands- such a great guy on the outside. My piece is that I need a little bit of boo hoo time to process and grieve and hide in my bed for up to one day only. I get to look at my part. I get to thank god I got out alive, with my life well intact....	Jean4444	4	304	Aug 5, 2008 by Loupiness
	30 days (Preview) Hello all, Well, we are both on our 30th day of recovery,(me and abf). I thought it would feel good getting to this magical marker, but if anything, I am more confused than ever. He is learning new tools and trying to make use of them, and for that I am grateful. I, too am learning to use my new tools, but a...	liljeannie	4	264	Aug 5, 2008 by liljeannie
	A Very Special and Loved Birthday Girl Today (Preview) Today is Carosie's Birthday! ((((((((((((My Caro)))))))))))), Wishing you a beautiful birthday, my friend I hope you and your son will be able to celebrate. Remember as our friend Karilynn says, eat as much as you want today. Calories don't count. Will be thinking of you all day. Love ya, Maria	Maria123	9	371	Aug 5, 2008 by Peggy7
	the kids are coming back (Preview) Hello all Well I just wanted to say I am going and getting the kids tomorrow to come back with me. They were only going to stay a couple of days with their dad but we decided to let them stay longer because they start school at the end of the week and he wont be able to be around them as much. I really have miss...	mo14	1	362	Aug 4, 2008 by Mandy123
	Reminding Myself I'm Grateful.... (Preview) As I send my five-year-old running back to her bed for the 8th time (make that 9 now) in the past 20 minutes, and my son begins the nightly round of "bedtime flu" I have to remind myself I woke up grateful this morning. I didn't have to time to post this then, but I woke up with my 7-year-old son o...	lmw	3	351	Aug 4, 2008 by lmw
	mood swings? (Preview) My husband of 40 years is bi-polar. I have dealt with his mood swings for many years, but recently they seem to be greater. A doctor told him about 6 weeks ago he was in the middle of a 'severe manic episode" and might do "anything". Recently he has increased how much he drinks and how fa...	afglin	5	444	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	You all really do help...my saturday (Preview) I started my weekend positive. I was so proud of myself on Saturaday. My recov bf spent the whole day Saturday away from home working on his hunting lease with his best friend (this is the friend that has the "friendly" girlfriend..past issues there). I was proud of myself, because I ac...	mslouise	4	588	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	running (Preview) Over the past3 and a half years I have told my A I love him and always given him hope that things will work out. when we split I give him hope tell him I love him need space but will waite while he sorts himself out. He never does and just manipulates his way back into my life. Things have changed slowely as I am...	Tracy	4	417	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	Please pray for me (Preview) Some of those who know me, know that I have recently suffered a misscarriage and had a D&C. Just over the weekend I have been feeling really really ill. Been sick and feel really run down. I am also in alot of pain in the lower region of my tummy (period pains) and I am bleeding very heavy. Im thinking I m...	mum2leahnjosh	4	449	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	Off into deep waters... (Preview) Hello Family, I am off into deep waters for the rest of the month as I sail south to my daughter's where I am going to look after the grandchildren and the 'zoo' for a week. I keep checking if my one brain cell is still functioning; or if I have any screws loose, however I am so looking forward to having the ch...	Suzannah	1	377	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	square 1 (Preview) so, I'm in a wierd mood... I am getting ready to move from ohio to nc...and I am realizing that I have to start over. I am gonna be in a new state that has no baggage. Now, that's a good thing but I am realizing that I am not going to have the familliarness of where I am now...and I'm scared cause even though I kno...	seekingserenity	3	373	Aug 4, 2008 by Maria123
	another stary night (Preview) good evening folks thought i would share my a has really gone over the edge..threatening suicide..taking pilss and generally being rather unhappy and even tragic i told her today that i would either call the cops...change my phone number or even relocate i know these are just words but hopefully i ca...	charlescharles	5	468	Aug 4, 2008 by lin0606
	A few hours later!! (Preview) This morning I was cautiously optimistic about my son's AA attendance the past two weeks. Now, just a few hours after that post, he calls. Ranting, slurring a bit, negativity, irritability, griping.....same old, same old. Good thing people here told me to have "no expectations" beca...	joyoma	4	537	Aug 4, 2008 by lin0606
	Emotions (Preview) I'm new to the board. I left and filed for divorce from my AH over the past month. I do love him, we've been together for 20 years of which 13 we were married. I have been very angry and hurt for a long time. I started doing some al anon reading and meetings and it's making alot of sense. My father was a...	Marshmallow	3	708	Aug 4, 2008 by Suzannah
	Never getting close? (Preview) I feel like I will never be able to get really close to anyone ever again. This makes me sad. I have always craved this, of course. I know how to detach, but when will I learn to attach in a healthy way, if ever? I have learned how to not act through this program but how do I learn how to act? Any advice or ESH...	Jean4444	14	585	Aug 4, 2008 by Jean4444
	Feeling Helpless Even Though I Should Be Feeling Relieved (Preview) Although I have moved on with my life and am very happy, I can't help but have thoughts of my ex A b/f and all that he's dealing with right now. Guess thats one of my weaknesses. Once someone is in my heart, there always remains a place for them there, even if its a very little place. As you may recall, he was...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	4	719	Aug 4, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	it doesn't have to mean anything... (Preview) As thoughts come shooting into my mind, I have found it helpful to post them here. I have discovered it is a good way to keep me from obsessing, and get it out and processed. Then, the comments give me other helpful perspectives, so then I can move on. So, 4 in the morning and here I am... Over the past few da...	Loupiness	5	551	Aug 4, 2008 by Jean4444
	God never gives you more than you can handle. (Preview) Aloha Family!! I believe that I once posted about a customer and good friend that was having much trouble with being clean and sober and the ups and downs, ins and outs of relapse. Two weeks ago she was bundled up much to chagrin and hauled off to the rehab program very near to my home. She was reluctant an...	Jerry F	6	617	Aug 4, 2008 by Suzannah
	Question regarding my parents (Preview) I don't know how to balance my relationship with my sisters and my relationship with my parents. I feel like I'm lieing to my parents when I don't tell them what I'm feeling (now that I am having all these new feelings). Instead what I have done is begin to avoid my parents and they have noticed. They asked...	StargazerLily	5	466	Aug 4, 2008 by StargazerLily
	brand new to this life (Preview) When I need help I go to my friends. You are now invited to be my friend. Like I said I'm new to this. I have one face to face Naranon meeting under my belt. I will be back to it on Wednesday but I need more support. My 17 year old son is moving back into our life after a 90 day trip into rehab. This weekend he h...	notalone	2	509	Aug 4, 2008 by Jerry F
	being steady/positive (Preview) I have spent the past 10 days or so being very steady and positive by hard work. My cancer issues are being addressed ODAT (the very words of my doctors), and I am accepting and working on healthy habits, including stress management. My son has two weeks of AA under his belt; he goes daily and has been sob...	joyoma	2	484	Aug 4, 2008 by Jerry F
	new. and annoyed! (Preview) so im not good at these message board thingys. well - actually i dont know if i'm not good at them i just haven't ever been on one. seems totally strage to me to reach out to a bunch of complete strangers and think they have any idea (or really care) about my long boring saga with my ex. BUT i promised a friend i...	cantmoveon	17	792	Aug 3, 2008 by cantmoveon
	The worst night (Preview) As you all know I have been reading the book. the night of the gun by David Carr which is a recovery memoir of sorts. In the book he talks about what was the worst night for him in the drugging. For me, like David Carr, there were many many worst nights in dealing with the A. There were nights I felt absolutel...	maresie	7	442	Aug 3, 2008 by Becky1
	It's HUGE!!! (Preview) HI to all who know and those who don't: I GOT MY DRIVER'S LISCENCE!!!! I had so much anxiety and fear about about driving, and was totally dependant on AH for so many things related to the fact I couldn't drive. I tolerated horrible behavior and actions, including letting him drive when I knew he was drun...	RainyJamie	15	551	Aug 3, 2008 by Becky1
	The ATM relationship (Preview) Whatever happened along the way there were good times surely. There were time when the A cared, took care of, wanted a relationship. Whatever happened to him, whatever his drug addiction did, he became wanting a ATM relationship with me. I left the A a year ago, hung around for a long time taking care o...	maresie	1	482	Aug 3, 2008 by Becky1
	Today's ODAT (Preview) Hi all, Today's ODAT (One Day at a Time) really spoke to me. It spoke of the thought of running away and starting all over again and how that wouldn't work. Now that soudns like a good idea to me.....but where ever I go, there I am. I will be taking me with me and all my issues with me. Which brings me to the quot...	Mandy123	3	5279	Aug 3, 2008 by Maria123
	Hi Everyone (Preview) Hi, I'm new. I just wanted to introduce myself. I am an adult child of two alcoholics. My sisters and I sort of stumbled down this road to recovery. I'm glad I found this board cause my sister and I went to an al-anon meeting and did not like it. I thought if I started here maybe it would be easier. Our therap...	StargazerLily	9	502	Aug 3, 2008 by Loupiness
	Update and Information Needed On Rehab (Preview) Well, my ex a b/f was given a choice, jail or rehab. Obviously he choose rehab. I havent talked to him because he isnt allowed to make or receive calls and isnt allowed to have visitors. My question is for those of you that have had their A in rehab. Are they allowed to see their sponsors? I would think...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	10	493	Aug 3, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	Emotions (Preview) Today at a meeting a super nice lady said the greatest thing to me. It's okay to cry and not know exactly why sometimes. Perhaps it's God washing out your soul. Made me think.... Sometimes it's concreate and sometimes it's just feelings. Or both but I don't have to know right away. If it's okay to smile a...	glad	1	407	Aug 2, 2008 by Jean4444
	What to do when you see them hurting? (Preview) Okay he's trying, he's moody and obviously really wanting a beer. He said he was sorry for being short with me (sweet) and that he was just really having a hard time tonight. I said " is there anything I can do" he said "yea, go to the beer store" Believe it or not this is deep emotiona...	glad	11	656	Aug 2, 2008 by glad
	ANOTHER A walks into my life??!!....yikes! (Preview) OK, so I have been visiting this guy who I am kind of involved with here in Honolulu and he is pretty terrific but he drinks alcohol EVERY SINGLE DAY at night, often before going to bed...I am now kicking myself...of course I could ONLY find another alcoholic to fall in love with...fortunately, I have NO...	Jean4444	11	479	Aug 2, 2008 by Loupiness
	Low and behold, he's crashed and is suffering the consequences (Preview) What a gorgeous day it is today!! Well for me at least. Seems my ex a b/f has done it again. This time he couldnt hide especially from the lights and sirens that pulled him over yesterday for speeding, etc. Seems he is enjoying his drinks a little too much again and was pulled over and taken to jail wher...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	3	597	Aug 2, 2008 by maresie
	what about me (Preview) One step forward two back I have finally realised I have to accept my Ab for who he really is and have really been trying to but out of his life. the only prob is the more i realise I carnt change him the more I think our relationship can not work. At the mo he is trying not to drink and is doing alright and has be...	Tracy	6	542	Aug 2, 2008 by lin0606
	Guess what I did last night (Preview) I thought it was safe to go to bed (he was at a friends, "not unhappy drunk Mum" as he says, not going into town) then I was awakened at 2am - please Mum come and bring me some money, I can pay you back tomorrow - and guess what! I did! Can you believe it? I was fuming the whole time but I still did it! I w...	Libby	9	707	Aug 2, 2008 by Sincerely
	realization (Preview) i have come to realize a few things today...maybe just getting more honest with myself here my real problems had have nothing to do with alcohol use..drug use...other people...other relationships i am simply..on some level..just a scared and frieghtened person..who has let others walk over him a...	charlescharles	4	411	Aug 2, 2008 by lin0606
	i really need some advise (Preview) hey..i'm in another dillemma and have no one to talk to about it it concerns my ex girlfriend and the woman that i have been with the deal is simple but i am making it complicated my friends are going down to the shore...were my ex might be the woman i am with now...all though we broke up...allthough we slep...	charlescharles	12	550	Aug 2, 2008 by lin0606
	HALT in practice (Preview) As I am doing my 4th step I am having to look at some of my charactor traits, one of them is real stubornness. Ask me to do something and my attachment to doing the opposite is right up there. When people suggested I leave the A I felt that I needed to be even more committed to the relationship to show them I cou...	maresie	3	851	Aug 2, 2008 by Mobirdie
	Sometimes I just don't want to! (Preview) I've had a couple of rough weeks. I have come to the realization that my little job here at the coast isn't the one for me. Hmmmm not realization..truth be acceptance. It is not a good paying job and my boss is an alcoholic. She and her husband are the general managers here and their normal day is to che...	greta	3	491	Aug 2, 2008 by nmike
	Pregnant with A Boyfriend, no Alanon mtg in my area (Preview) Hello, The past four years I have been dating an A. The first two years he was abusive and I finally left him. A year later he came back in my life and was sober (but not through counseling or AA). We had a wonderful summer last year, and were able to rebuild our relationship. He made so many amends and we we...	lonewolfmama	6	646	Aug 2, 2008 by Shark
	New Here......which way is up? (Preview) I'm positive DH is an alcoholic. Except that he is positive that it's just my issue, because I don't understand social drinking. He drinks (usually alone) 2-3 times a week. Doesn't usually get "smashed" but often has just enough to not drive safely. Sometimes he does drink responsib...	JulieMarie	4	605	Aug 2, 2008 by Jerry F
	tough nite (Preview) hey all went to court today...spoke to the judge...got my girl off from her assault charges i still find her to be a b...and we broke up tonight..or so it goes my mind was spinning after words...she wanted to try to work things out but i guess i am putting my foot down i will not let her in my apartment anymor...	charlescharles	3	538	Aug 1, 2008 by maresie
	It's been sooooo long... (Preview) It has been quite awhile since I have posted but I have been reading. There has been so much that has happened. But through it all I am actually feeling better. I set boundaries and stuck to them, that was extremely hard and heart breaking as well. It meant that I had to let my 18 year old son go. I fully belie...	wildthang86	7	467	Aug 1, 2008 by maresie
	life without the A (Preview) A year ago I cut off all contact with the A. The past year has been a really hard slog. I am just beginning to emerge. I think for me now my tolerance for inappropriate behavior is getting in there. I put in better and better boundaries all the time. I really do. As a result I have more energy. I'm currentl...	maresie	5	437	Aug 1, 2008 by kitty
	No Job too small for HP (Preview) Thanks to everyone for posting. Especially those things that we think are "silly" or maybe we shouldn't post... because in answering or identifying with others we are all helped. I think this is what "sponsoring" is all about too. Helping others allows sponsors to stay close...	glad	2	367	Aug 1, 2008 by SmallSteps
	fourth step (Preview) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/20/magazine/20Carr-t.html?_r=1&oref=slogin	maresie	3	375	Aug 1, 2008 by kitty
	morning (Preview) its thursday morning...something woke me up early today dreading the first phone call i will recieve today from the lady...miss her but need to continue to persevere feeling a bit empty here...thinking about my old life and wondering what it is that i am missing from the new which will catapolt me int...	charlescharles	3	559	Aug 1, 2008 by Jen
	Family members (Preview) Dear All, I didn't get the job I went for on monday but am not too put out. It was not for me. My sister rang yesterday, having just arrived in the country, no warning, as usual, but this time, I set some boundaries. I pointed out that this method of arrival was not convenient and that I wished that she would n...	maire rua	5	435	Aug 1, 2008 by Jen
	1st Face to Face, give me a break..lol (Preview) Finally, after pushing myself, and I mean really pushing myself, I was going to attend my 1st face to face this evening. And the whole way there, I was thinking........... This bites that I have to get out of my cozy house and go to this meeting. Ugh...I don't want to have to walk in there. This is crazy...	Sincerely	9	610	Aug 1, 2008 by humeyayu
	Is he an alcoholic? (Preview) My husband has been drinking all of his adult life. He is 62 years old. This is a typical work day for him. He gets home around 4:00pm, has three Vodka Martinis. Then at dinner around 6:00pm he has a glass of wine with dinner. After dinner he drinks a Scotch and Water. Then he drinks a beer. Then he drinks ano...	calicoconnie123	6	543	Jul 31, 2008 by humeyayu
	Confused and scared (Preview) Hi, I am still looking for a permanent job its been almost a year. Have been working with some temp. agencies and have managed to stay temporarily for about nine months. My last assignment ended about a month ago. My mothers estate was settled a few months ago and I have been using that just to pay the esse...	binohio	4	355	Jul 31, 2008 by glad
	Grrr... I hate confrontations! (Preview) I am having a particularly overwhelming problem that is greatly interfereing with my serenity. My neighbors just had a bunch of work done on the road and apparently think I am going to help pay for it. I feel like they think they have some right to spend my money, not that I have any to spend. They just got t...	Jen	7	398	Jul 31, 2008 by Jen
	Finally, my new computer is in! (Preview) I have a bit of a drive today (140 miles round trip) to pick it up, but that is okay. Hopefully I can start participating over here more now! The laptop has been rife with problems, not to mention the fact I need new trifocals and have been squinting at the small 14.5" screen on this thing! My Vocatio...	Tenderheartsks	1	379	Jul 31, 2008 by Mandy123
	New to the group!!! (Preview) Ohh not sure how this all works... Am feeling really comforted having been this site for the first time today tho!! Was referred to Al-anon by my therapist who thought maybe my issues were related to being an adult child of an alcoholic....wow!!! There ia actually a term for it I am in awe. I think I must h...	Kitten	9	402	Jul 31, 2008 by Kitten
	I Broke Down and Called My Son (Preview) I have not called him since he went on a drinking binge and was put in jail for a DUI. It seems like it has been a few weeks but truthfully I do not know. I try hard to focus on my life, my younger son and when I catch myself slippping I say a prayer for him and then move on. Today I thought I should call though, jus...	MomGayle42	4	487	Jul 31, 2008 by stariana
	heart attack (Preview) You think after having a heart attack that you'd stop drinking, not my husband, he hasn't changed his ways in spite of his doctors advice. I am cooking and eating "heart healthy" and have even made the kids, but my husband is even cheating on that. I am so discusted with him. Not even a heart...	Alone	7	494	Jul 31, 2008 by Alone
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.