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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> My Denial
Post Info TOPIC: My Denial
Codependent


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 217
Date:
My Denial
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I have come to the conclusion that some of the reason that I have mixed feelings about the A getting out of jail is because while he is in jail I can pretend that he is what I want him to be.  I can fantasize about the life I could have with him.  When he gets out I have to deal with the man that he is and the life that he/I have.

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carolinagirl


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1990
Date:
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Reality Bites LOL. I used to live in fantasy or hope or some other world than reality. The more you live in reality the better your reality gets. That's a great revelation to yourself, just remember stay in the real, don't let yourself drift back into prince charming will appear from this toad mode again. LOL You are a smart, strong girl. You can get through this!

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masspedirn


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 30
Date:
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I read your post and it was like I was listening to myself! I have just joined this forum and have been "hanging out" reading, learning and trying to start a program to recovery. I have realized, sadly, that I have been in love with my "potential" ABF for the past 2 years. That almost everything I loved about him was the "when and if's" I thought up in my head; that if only the problem of his addiction went away that we would have the relationship I always wanted. Well, if that aint denial I don't know what is. Through this forum and Al-Anon, and post from people (like you) I have started to realize alot of things and have taken steps to recover myself and get my life back. I feel guilty that I tried to make my BF someone he is not and probably will never be, and that guilt is what I am dealing with now. I have realized it isn't fair to him to love him for his "potential", not for the person he is right now. I have gained alot of insight and strength here and this was a BIG light bulb moment for me. When I actually sat down and looked at what was brought to our relationship vs what I WANTED there was quite a difference. Al Anon is giving me the strength and tools to get the things in life that I need, want and deserve.


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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> My Denial