Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

It appears I have ruffled some feathers and that was not my intention. I need to be more gentle with my words sometimes, and I will try hard to work on that. I would like to clarify that the questions I had asked cherrygirl30 in an earlier post of hers was not because I was 'following' her around the interne...

cherrygirl30 · cherrygirl30

So I go home today, and log onto my computer as I always do... He's on as usual. Then he's off. I had a feeling he blocked my screen name so I logged on under my other email and sure enough, I was right! I was in shock! Why the baby games? Why the need to block me when it was made clear that there would be no ta...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just need to vent..talk..be somewhere..feel something..say something the days seem to be getting a bit better..maybe my mind and aditude are clearing up i lost my voice after a verbal fight.were i guess i tried to take my will back...or maybe my hp is telling me to shut up for now my a thinks she is comin...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hey folks, I had an email from Debilyn recently, even though she has recently had surgery (don't know the details but that is not necessary it is enough to know that she is going through this on her own) and is feeling pretty rough. She told me that her neighbours are helping out and looking in on her; and...

afglin · afglin

I am again dealing with severe mood swings. Long story..but we have some very grouchy-hard-to get-along-with next door neighbors. A year ago they threatened the police because our dogs were barking to play ball with them before 6 PM. So we put up a big wooden privacy fence. We left up our chain link on t...

Ash · Ash

ok so here's the deal. both my husband and i are alcoholics. from what it appears at the moment we are both alanons also. either way right now, the disease is alive and kickin in this relationship. i haven't had a drink in over 7 years. he drank a couple of days ago. after going into what felt like sho...

cherrygirl30 · cherrygirl30

I had an idea.... I noticed something about most of the responding posts to me. They told me that part of my recovery is to stop focusing on my A-ex, and to start keeping the focus on me and my recovery. Well, I thought about that, and that's what this post is all about. That was one thing I was sick and tir...

buick23 · buick23

I read the July 14th reading in the odat book. Thank you Louise, it made things better today. Also stayed busy, didn't see the Asober much today which helped. Now he's sick (a cold). I hope he can still make it to his fishing trip, and I can say that without sarcasm today. Talked to a friend today, well list...

glad lee · glad lee

Yesterday at work, I completed a service transaction and then happily proceeded to tell the person who performed the work, that she had been given a $10.00 tip. After awhile, she came back to me and told me that the software did not register the tip. In disbelief, I could see that it was true, even though...

cherrygirl30 · cherrygirl30

Hi all, I was just wondering if there was anyone else on the board that is in the same boat as me and that just broke it off with their A bf/gf/husband/wife??? If so, i'm just wondering some good ways to cope with the loss, especially when you think you might have some issues of your own with being addicted...

cabinfever5 · cabinfever5

I want to live in a sober home, but there is daily drinking. Do I have the right to ask him not to drink in his home?

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi everyone, I've been reflecting on the last few days and the topic of the "boomerang and the cops" sums it all up. I posted a few days ago, asking for my higher power to give me the courage to put the needs of my son and myself first - to finally say to my AH - I love you, but I can't be with you anymor...

Rita G · Rita G

Hello my friends, it's been a while since I've been able to visit - we all know how busy life can be - but I had a few moments & stopped by to say Hey, what's going on? Yes it is that lovely season Hurricane Season - good gravy can't it be November 30th yet? We faired well thru Gustav - part of Louisiana did n...

david62 · david62

((((Family)))) Last night I got to fulfill one of my "bucket list" items, lol. I have wanted to see The Eagles in concert since...well since their were Eagles to see! Last night I did it! Drove to San Antonio, had a nice dinner then on to the venue! When I got there, and found the seats, I was a...

3Hz · 3Hz

I spent this weekend disposing of many wine & vodka bottles. The most bottles I've seen in one location ever. I remember as a child, I lived in a newly built community and there were sections that were not developed due to being land locked, so I got to play in the woods, about 50 acres or so, but stil...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So here I go again at my millionth time quitting. It was in control of me rather than the other way around and my lungs are NOT happy. So I quit yesterday. The first few days are nightmarish. If only I could keep that feeling when I think about just having one... Anyway, today is day two of quitting and t...

charlescharles · charlescharles

mya..my 'girlfriend'..the woman of my dreams>???!!..blah blah blah she is suffering ten fold right now...last night was misery..she has finally gotten some food in her stomach and trying to settle down she dosen't have the finances to get to me...and i don't have the finances to get to her..tha...

glad · glad

Wow, when my dad heard of my breakup with BF he said : sorry your sad- I think all my kids are too good for everyone they choose (kiddingly) anyway so it will all be okay MY mom had to add the guilt trip: Well if you let him move back home I hope you will do me one favor and have a wedding this time- I swear sometime...

nmike · nmike

I knew better than to listen to a rumor about getting the job. This where working my program helps. I took it ODAT. And don't you know I got a reject letter in the mail. lol. Management decided to withdraw the job announcement. At least I know that I interviewed well. Great experience and I will keep tryin...

buick23 · buick23

I went to my meeting today, and felt worse when I left than I did when I got there. We read through the pamphlet "the merry go round called denial". This once again brought back all those memories that I had convienently blocked out lately. I am a mess right now, can't settle down to go to sleep....

cherrygirl30 · cherrygirl30

Hi all, I just posted my first post here yesterday about that guy i've been seeing. What happened now is last night I confronted him while talking online about the fact that he told me he's not ready for a relationship, yet last night he goes online and posts new pictures of himself shirtless and writes...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Abf returned to his group this today, after missing 2 weeks worth. He had drill this weekend, and by nothing short of a miracle, did not get demoted. This gave him a reason to celebrate...which he did. I went down to the shore with a girlfriend of mine on Sunday and when I got home, there he was, passed o...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I got all worried about AH missing his court date, of course at the last possible minute he picks up the phone, calls the courthouse, gets his hair cut, and leaves 10 minutes late. I can't believe I let myself get sucked into his problems. For the record, I wasn't going to help him out. It is hard to not be in...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Seems more of myself is being revealed daily, and it ain't too pretty. Realizations of myself and the true acknowlegement that "nothing changes if nothing changes". I have been in absolute denial that I could possibly suffer from depression. You know, I don't want to be depressed, maybe...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Dozy me! Please read, NO SUBJECT. Thank you. Suzannah

charlescharles · charlescharles

my 'girlfriend'..the woman that caused me to get into this program says she is coming back from detroit to see me..says she realizes she loves me bla bla bla i have told her repeadedly that i am not in love with her..don't want her to come back..all though i sat on the phone with her for hours yesterday..e...

olg1213 · olg1213

Part of the difficulty of trying to move forward in all of this is trying to make heads or tails out of it. My AH will go through periods of coming home drunk from work almost every day (he doesn't drink at home). To staying sober for 7 sometimes 10 days at a stretch. I ask myself is he an A or a problem drink...

java · java

I often wondered what an al-anon relapse would look like. Now that I have married a non-drinking alcoholic, I think I know. He quit drinking before we married two years ago, and he hasn't drank since, but he has become a control freak and a very possessive dry drunk. He won't let me go to an al-anon meetin...

Suzannah · Suzannah

((((((((((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))))))))) Please accept my apologies for not trusting this family in my dark night. I really have learned a very valuable lesson there; and, if you can bear it, I will entrust you with the reasons why I found myself in that boat, out in the middle of a wild sto...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi All After a week of turmoil and heartbreak things have taken a turn for the better. After the shock of my partner being advised against a new relationship whilst in recovery and him not being able to tell me to go, things had been very painful for us. We had both been really happy and healthy together a...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, At the moment my step mother A has stabilised with the secondary brain cancer and is living from day to day. My father is distancing himself from me and I ring most days to find out all is ok, not to fix, just to honour the agreement I made with the palliative nurses as I am the nearest in distance. M...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I think that the last time I posted was when I had an interview. Alot has happened since then. I did interview on a Friday two weeks ago. I thought that it went well. By Monday, someone in the company said congratulations on getting the job. Wow, but I haven't received anything official yet...

cherrygirl30 · cherrygirl30

Hi all, I am 30 years old and have been "seeing" a guy (sort of) who is addicted to many things, including alcohol, many drugs (pills, pot, etc). He's tried a few times that I know of to stop, but to be honest it just seems like halfattempts. He's been in rehab twice in the 6 months i dated him, b...

joyoma · joyoma

I posted last about "how do I accept what I cannot change?". Since that post I have been reluctant to say much more. It seems that what I really need to acknowledge are the final two words: CANNOT CHANGE. My son's problems have nearly taken away every shred of my ability to cope with anythin...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I learned something the other day, regarding "CAL" (conference approved literature). The ONLY things that are CAL approved by AA, Al-Anon, etc., are books that are anonymous and or specifically written for these groups - i.e. AA Big Book, Courage to Change, etc.... Even such treasure...

charlescharles · charlescharles

morning..tired this morning..went to a friends wedding yesterday..no drinking for me...that was easy..ran into old friends..it was good...young ladies i knew a lifetime or two ago..good to see friendly faces...woman that i know actually love me anyway..just thought i'd share my commitiment t...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hi Family, I don't feel I belong here right now I am so mixed up as to where I should be, who I should be talking to and what I should be doing that I don't feel comfortable. Right now.................no that's not right............for a couple of months now I feel I have been back tracking and I know tha...

glad · glad

Ugh!!! So much drama within my head. Time with my higher power will heal me. My A that I love, came back from out of town working for 10 days ignoring me, down appeared depressed said he was stressed then said he was bored. Basically he was just really unhappy and I have no real idea why and probably never w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So long time no see once again. I just wanted to say hi and let everyone know how things are going for me and my family. The kids are all back in school, everyone is in the grade that they should be in and in fact the oldest daughter who was held back in the 8th grade last year is in high school (thanks to my pes...

buick23 · buick23

I'm letting my asober get to me again. I feel like I've taken steps back since he got back home tonight after jail. The weekend was nice and laid back. Then he shows up, I say something, he gets upset about it, and there we go with an argument. I took myself away from the situation at one point but I'm still up...

Marshmallow · Marshmallow

I left my AH 2 1/2 months ago and filed for divorce one month after leaving. I started F2F Alanon meetings the night that I filed. After I started the meetings I decided that maybe my decision was made too quickly and in anger. Even as I gave the papers to my husband I said this is not the solution I had hop...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

In order to get past the pain, I have to walk through it. My sponsor has said more than once that when we start to get better in a program of recovery, there will be those who don't want us to get well. In my case, it's my family of origin. I'm tired of being the scapegoat for my youngest AD's actions, and I know...

Codependent · Codependent

I think I told you that last week I was having panic attacks. Anyway, they upped my zoloft and added ativan. I mentioned this to my A who responded "how many pills do you take?" Anyway, he has been with the other woman and I am trying to detach. A friend from out of town had gone out with him th...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello family, As some of you may have read, its been a pretty horrendous week for me. I am finally coming thru the fog, and I am beginning to think, REALLY think about what my options are. I just realized that I do indeed have them. I want this relationship to end. I know that more than I know anything el...

Mariner · Mariner

This last week has been a nightmare, since my bf called last Monday saying we had to part. He had been 'advised' by his group worker in rehab against having a relationship in his early recovery.I know that hurt him as much as it hurts me, I understand what he is up against and am trying to stay strong for...

notmywill · notmywill

Feeling really horrible about a situation tonight. I have a guy friend that has been there for me since I broke up with my EX-A. He has been so patient and understanding when I ask him the same questions over and over again. It' been almost 2 yrs. for our friendship, he has been incredible. the nicest gu...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

MIP Al-Anon Business MeetingSeptember 7, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report Approval of September Business Mtg. MinutesTreasurer's Report: ...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Sorry this took so long.....a lot going on here at home. Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer.With the Absence of the Secretary Chair requested approval of Julys minutes. Motion was made and minutes approved.With the Absence of Treasurer there was not a treasurers report. Chai...

Jasocal · Jasocal

My son's going to be 3 in December. He's not aware enough of the dynamics of our situation to understand his mom's got a drinking problem. She doesn't drink a lot in front of him and is not falling down drunk. But she's clipping or slurring her words every night when he and I get home from daycare and wor...

buick23 · buick23

I wanted to share what I read in my 'one day at the time' book yesterday when I looked up 'despair'. It helped me a lot and hope it will help others. page 119: Three things I will practice every day from now on: 1. I will stop being a crutch for the A. 2. I will not let myself concentrate on the distressing featu...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi all, It's been a while since I checked in last. I feel so grateful for this board and the kind people who share their experiences here. Thank you all for being so giving of yourselves. My post today is about the courage to let go. I came to a realization about 6 weeks ago that whether I stay with my AH or not...

susannah · susannah

I am having alot of trouble thinking about spilling all of my "junk" on a stranger. I am having trouble knowing it will always be information that could never be leaked out. Sponsors are not licensed professionals and are not trained to counsel...right? How do I pick someone to entrust my l...

Maria123 · Maria123

Or in my case, the sunset. (((((((((((My friends)))))))))))), Thank you so much for your support, your encouragement, your steady guidance, your love. This fear that I was experiencing was very unlike me. It was further complicated by the previous week which I had learned some difficult news to...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I was sitting here looking out the window as it is rainy and fairly chilly today, and now that I am back on foot again, I thought back to the first time I was without a car when my old one went bellyup and I was without transportation for 7 months. During that time I was buying my dog food in the large 40 pound ba...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi I am so glad I found MIP, I have been reading the posts and gaining alot from them, to be honest I dont think I'd have got through the past few days without you. I havent heard from my bf since the phone call on Monday when he asked me to tell him it was over. He said he'd write to me that night, maybe the letter...

lmw · lmw

Ten years ago today, I married my soon-to-be-ex-AH. It makes me a little sad tonight. Ive been thinking about him off and on through the day and making a point of NOT making things out to be a bed of roses ... He actually had a couple of drinks with breakfast before the ceremony with his father and grooms...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi All, I was/am in the depths of despair over recent events with my partner who is a recovering addict. In despair and through tears I came across Al-Anon. What a life saver I cant tell you how much of a miracle it is for me to find myself here and have all you wonderful people accept me. How have I got thr...

susannah · susannah

I have just made the decision to pursue this journey whether alanon is where I should be or not. I believe anyone needs to be humbled and brought back to the foundations of who we are. I have just read about step one and already I am having trouble relating it to me. I am not at rock bottom. My life has not beco...

charlescharles · charlescharles

feeling off..now that the a is gone i am lonely and uncertain my drug addiction and alcohol use seems to be calling out for me these days..i am 81 days sober and don't want to balk..but things just seem a bit empty and redundent now not doing the work i could be doing and simply feeling off my game right now t...

maresie · b

Hi all, I haven't been on the message board for a while as my A mother has been behaving better and we've been getting on ok. I'm relieved in a sense that she has been back at work and keeping the house relatively clean (which takes some of the pressure off me to do everything, wahoo! ) plus she hasn't been so...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Sincere apologies to cherrygirl 30 and anyone else I offended. (Preview) It appears I have ruffled some feathers and that was not my intention. I need to be more gentle with my words sometimes, and I will try hard to work on that. I would like to clarify that the questions I had asked cherrygirl30 in an earlier post of hers was not because I was 'following' her around the interne...	Tenderheartsks	2	590	Sep 11, 2008 by cherrygirl30
	UPDATE: So Now He Blocked me Online For No Reason! (Preview) So I go home today, and log onto my computer as I always do... He's on as usual. Then he's off. I had a feeling he blocked my screen name so I logged on under my other email and sure enough, I was right! I was in shock! Why the baby games? Why the need to block me when it was made clear that there would be no ta...	cherrygirl30	12	1046	Sep 11, 2008 by carolinagirl
	hello friends and family (Preview) just need to vent..talk..be somewhere..feel something..say something the days seem to be getting a bit better..maybe my mind and aditude are clearing up i lost my voice after a verbal fight.were i guess i tried to take my will back...or maybe my hp is telling me to shut up for now my a thinks she is comin...	charlescharles	2	667	Sep 11, 2008 by lin0606
	(Preview) Hey folks, I had an email from Debilyn recently, even though she has recently had surgery (don't know the details but that is not necessary it is enough to know that she is going through this on her own) and is feeling pretty rough. She told me that her neighbours are helping out and looking in on her; and...	Suzannah	9	723	Sep 11, 2008 by Karilynn
	detaching from mood swings? (Preview) I am again dealing with severe mood swings. Long story..but we have some very grouchy-hard-to get-along-with next door neighbors. A year ago they threatened the police because our dogs were barking to play ball with them before 6 PM. So we put up a big wooden privacy fence. We left up our chain link on t...	afglin	7	733	Sep 11, 2008 by afglin
	Need to let this out (Preview) ok so here's the deal. both my husband and i are alcoholics. from what it appears at the moment we are both alanons also. either way right now, the disease is alive and kickin in this relationship. i haven't had a drink in over 7 years. he drank a couple of days ago. after going into what felt like sho...	Ash	7	651	Sep 10, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Fresh Start - MY day one.... (Preview) I had an idea.... I noticed something about most of the responding posts to me. They told me that part of my recovery is to stop focusing on my A-ex, and to start keeping the focus on me and my recovery. Well, I thought about that, and that's what this post is all about. That was one thing I was sick and tir...	cherrygirl30	8	727	Sep 10, 2008 by cherrygirl30
	Gratitude list (Preview) I read the July 14th reading in the odat book. Thank you Louise, it made things better today. Also stayed busy, didn't see the Asober much today which helped. Now he's sick (a cold). I hope he can still make it to his fishing trip, and I can say that without sarcasm today. Talked to a friend today, well list...	buick23	3	815	Sep 10, 2008 by Jerry F
	On making amends (Preview) Yesterday at work, I completed a service transaction and then happily proceeded to tell the person who performed the work, that she had been given a $10.00 tip. After awhile, she came back to me and told me that the software did not register the tip. In disbelief, I could see that it was true, even though...	glad lee	2	655	Sep 10, 2008 by Jerry F
	Anyone Here in the Same Boat as Me and Just Break up w/ A? (Preview) Hi all, I was just wondering if there was anyone else on the board that is in the same boat as me and that just broke it off with their A bf/gf/husband/wife??? If so, i'm just wondering some good ways to cope with the loss, especially when you think you might have some issues of your own with being addicted...	cherrygirl30	3	701	Sep 10, 2008 by Jerry F
	Don't want him to drink in his home (Preview) I want to live in a sober home, but there is daily drinking. Do I have the right to ask him not to drink in his home?	cabinfever5	6	617	Sep 10, 2008 by cabinfever5
	The boomerang and the cops (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been reflecting on the last few days and the topic of the "boomerang and the cops" sums it all up. I posted a few days ago, asking for my higher power to give me the courage to put the needs of my son and myself first - to finally say to my AH - I love you, but I can't be with you anymor...	Rocky38	2	471	Sep 10, 2008 by abbyal
	What am I afraid of Hurricanes or Untreated Al-Anon's???? (Preview) Hello my friends, it's been a while since I've been able to visit - we all know how busy life can be - but I had a few moments & stopped by to say Hey, what's going on? Yes it is that lovely season Hurricane Season - good gravy can't it be November 30th yet? We faired well thru Gustav - part of Louisiana did n...	Rita G	7	1339	Sep 10, 2008 by Rita G
	Soaring with The Eagles (Preview) ((((Family)))) Last night I got to fulfill one of my "bucket list" items, lol. I have wanted to see The Eagles in concert since...well since their were Eagles to see! Last night I did it! Drove to San Antonio, had a nice dinner then on to the venue! When I got there, and found the seats, I was a...	david62	7	461	Sep 10, 2008 by Suzannah
	Disposing of bottles. (Preview) I spent this weekend disposing of many wine & vodka bottles. The most bottles I've seen in one location ever. I remember as a child, I lived in a newly built community and there were sections that were not developed due to being land locked, so I got to play in the woods, about 50 acres or so, but stil...	3Hz	6	471	Sep 10, 2008 by 3Hz
	Quit smoking (Preview) So here I go again at my millionth time quitting. It was in control of me rather than the other way around and my lungs are NOT happy. So I quit yesterday. The first few days are nightmarish. If only I could keep that feeling when I think about just having one... Anyway, today is day two of quitting and t...	carolinagirl	3	507	Sep 10, 2008 by CJ
	tired and exhausted (Preview) mya..my 'girlfriend'..the woman of my dreams>???!!..blah blah blah she is suffering ten fold right now...last night was misery..she has finally gotten some food in her stomach and trying to settle down she dosen't have the finances to get to me...and i don't have the finances to get to her..tha...	charlescharles	4	408	Sep 9, 2008 by CJ
	ughhh!! my mom (Preview) Wow, when my dad heard of my breakup with BF he said : sorry your sad- I think all my kids are too good for everyone they choose (kiddingly) anyway so it will all be okay MY mom had to add the guilt trip: Well if you let him move back home I hope you will do me one favor and have a wedding this time- I swear sometime...	glad	5	498	Sep 9, 2008 by Jean4444
	I knew better! (Preview) I knew better than to listen to a rumor about getting the job. This where working my program helps. I took it ODAT. And don't you know I got a reject letter in the mail. lol. Management decided to withdraw the job announcement. At least I know that I interviewed well. Great experience and I will keep tryin...	nmike	6	465	Sep 9, 2008 by Jean4444
	give up or keep trying? (Preview) I went to my meeting today, and felt worse when I left than I did when I got there. We read through the pamphlet "the merry go round called denial". This once again brought back all those memories that I had convienently blocked out lately. I am a mess right now, can't settle down to go to sleep....	buick23	6	673	Sep 9, 2008 by abbyal
	Ok, So Last Night We Fought and he said Never Text/Call Him Again (Preview) Hi all, I just posted my first post here yesterday about that guy i've been seeing. What happened now is last night I confronted him while talking online about the fact that he told me he's not ready for a relationship, yet last night he goes online and posts new pictures of himself shirtless and writes...	cherrygirl30	6	503	Sep 9, 2008 by lin0606
	downward spiral (Preview) Abf returned to his group this today, after missing 2 weeks worth. He had drill this weekend, and by nothing short of a miracle, did not get demoted. This gave him a reason to celebrate...which he did. I went down to the shore with a girlfriend of mine on Sunday and when I got home, there he was, passed o...	liljeannie	3	466	Sep 9, 2008 by maresie
	AH goes to court (Preview) I got all worried about AH missing his court date, of course at the last possible minute he picks up the phone, calls the courthouse, gets his hair cut, and leaves 10 minutes late. I can't believe I let myself get sucked into his problems. For the record, I wasn't going to help him out. It is hard to not be in...	RainyJamie	6	634	Sep 9, 2008 by CJ
	Is it depression or just "me"? (Preview) Seems more of myself is being revealed daily, and it ain't too pretty. Realizations of myself and the true acknowlegement that "nothing changes if nothing changes". I have been in absolute denial that I could possibly suffer from depression. You know, I don't want to be depressed, maybe...	Loupiness	8	543	Sep 9, 2008 by lin0606
	That NO SUBJECT post was a prayer request for our lovely DEBILYN. (Preview) Dozy me! Please read, NO SUBJECT. Thank you. Suzannah	Suzannah	0	528	Sep 9, 2008 by Suzannah
	she says shes coming back (Preview) my 'girlfriend'..the woman that caused me to get into this program says she is coming back from detroit to see me..says she realizes she loves me bla bla bla i have told her repeadedly that i am not in love with her..don't want her to come back..all though i sat on the phone with her for hours yesterday..e...	charlescharles	5	591	Sep 9, 2008 by buick23
	Living in a confused state (Preview) Part of the difficulty of trying to move forward in all of this is trying to make heads or tails out of it. My AH will go through periods of coming home drunk from work almost every day (he doesn't drink at home). To staying sober for 7 sometimes 10 days at a stretch. I ask myself is he an A or a problem drink...	olg1213	3	453	Sep 9, 2008 by maresie
	Al-anon relapse (Preview) I often wondered what an al-anon relapse would look like. Now that I have married a non-drinking alcoholic, I think I know. He quit drinking before we married two years ago, and he hasn't drank since, but he has become a control freak and a very possessive dry drunk. He won't let me go to an al-anon meetin...	java	5	1909	Sep 9, 2008 by maresie
	Okay family, honesty is the best policy and thank you all for being there for me... Love you... (Preview) ((((((((((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))))))))) Please accept my apologies for not trusting this family in my dark night. I really have learned a very valuable lesson there; and, if you can bear it, I will entrust you with the reasons why I found myself in that boat, out in the middle of a wild sto...	Suzannah	7	498	Sep 9, 2008 by Jen
	Gratitude (Preview) Hi All After a week of turmoil and heartbreak things have taken a turn for the better. After the shock of my partner being advised against a new relationship whilst in recovery and him not being able to tell me to go, things had been very painful for us. We had both been really happy and healthy together a...	Mariner	3	446	Sep 9, 2008 by maresie
	Walking on eggshells (Preview) Dear All, At the moment my step mother A has stabilised with the secondary brain cancer and is living from day to day. My father is distancing himself from me and I ring most days to find out all is ok, not to fix, just to honour the agreement I made with the palliative nurses as I am the nearest in distance. M...	maire rua	6	608	Sep 9, 2008 by maresie
	Where do I start? (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I think that the last time I posted was when I had an interview. Alot has happened since then. I did interview on a Friday two weeks ago. I thought that it went well. By Monday, someone in the company said congratulations on getting the job. Wow, but I haven't received anything official yet...	nmike	7	859	Sep 9, 2008 by Loupiness
	New at This, Please Help - Need Advice!!! (Preview) Hi all, I am 30 years old and have been "seeing" a guy (sort of) who is addicted to many things, including alcohol, many drugs (pills, pot, etc). He's tried a few times that I know of to stop, but to be honest it just seems like halfattempts. He's been in rehab twice in the 6 months i dated him, b...	cherrygirl30	10	575	Sep 8, 2008 by Mariner
	letting go (Preview) I posted last about "how do I accept what I cannot change?". Since that post I have been reluctant to say much more. It seems that what I really need to acknowledge are the final two words: CANNOT CHANGE. My son's problems have nearly taken away every shred of my ability to cope with anythin...	joyoma	3	425	Sep 8, 2008 by Jen
	CAL vs. "other stuff" (Preview) I learned something the other day, regarding "CAL" (conference approved literature). The ONLY things that are CAL approved by AA, Al-Anon, etc., are books that are anonymous and or specifically written for these groups - i.e. AA Big Book, Courage to Change, etc.... Even such treasure...	canadianguy	6	1772	Sep 8, 2008 by Rita G
	another morning rant (Preview) morning..tired this morning..went to a friends wedding yesterday..no drinking for me...that was easy..ran into old friends..it was good...young ladies i knew a lifetime or two ago..good to see friendly faces...woman that i know actually love me anyway..just thought i'd share my commitiment t...	charlescharles	1	315	Sep 8, 2008 by maresie
	I don't feel I belong here any more (Preview) Hi Family, I don't feel I belong here right now I am so mixed up as to where I should be, who I should be talking to and what I should be doing that I don't feel comfortable. Right now.................no that's not right............for a couple of months now I feel I have been back tracking and I know tha...	Suzannah	12	742	Sep 8, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	God Grant me the ability to think of myself (Preview) Ugh!!! So much drama within my head. Time with my higher power will heal me. My A that I love, came back from out of town working for 10 days ignoring me, down appeared depressed said he was stressed then said he was bored. Basically he was just really unhappy and I have no real idea why and probably never w...	glad	5	612	Sep 8, 2008 by 3Hz
	Update (long) (Preview) So long time no see once again. I just wanted to say hi and let everyone know how things are going for me and my family. The kids are all back in school, everyone is in the grade that they should be in and in fact the oldest daughter who was held back in the 8th grade last year is in high school (thanks to my pes...	carolinagirl	4	465	Sep 8, 2008 by carolinagirl
	here we go again (Preview) I'm letting my asober get to me again. I feel like I've taken steps back since he got back home tonight after jail. The weekend was nice and laid back. Then he shows up, I say something, he gets upset about it, and there we go with an argument. I took myself away from the situation at one point but I'm still up...	buick23	2	325	Sep 7, 2008 by kitty
	Mixed Signals (Preview) I left my AH 2 1/2 months ago and filed for divorce one month after leaving. I started F2F Alanon meetings the night that I filed. After I started the meetings I decided that maybe my decision was made too quickly and in anger. Even as I gave the papers to my husband I said this is not the solution I had hop...	Marshmallow	2	471	Sep 7, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Hurting today (Preview) In order to get past the pain, I have to walk through it. My sponsor has said more than once that when we start to get better in a program of recovery, there will be those who don't want us to get well. In my case, it's my family of origin. I'm tired of being the scapegoat for my youngest AD's actions, and I know...	Tenderheartsks	6	791	Sep 7, 2008 by glad
	They think I am crazy (Preview) I think I told you that last week I was having panic attacks. Anyway, they upped my zoloft and added ativan. I mentioned this to my A who responded "how many pills do you take?" Anyway, he has been with the other woman and I am trying to detach. A friend from out of town had gone out with him th...	Codependent	7	506	Sep 7, 2008 by notmywill
	building a bridge..... (Preview) Hello family, As some of you may have read, its been a pretty horrendous week for me. I am finally coming thru the fog, and I am beginning to think, REALLY think about what my options are. I just realized that I do indeed have them. I want this relationship to end. I know that more than I know anything el...	liljeannie	2	510	Sep 7, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Heading For A Fall (Preview) This last week has been a nightmare, since my bf called last Monday saying we had to part. He had been 'advised' by his group worker in rehab against having a relationship in his early recovery.I know that hurt him as much as it hurts me, I understand what he is up against and am trying to stay strong for...	Mariner	2	431	Sep 7, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Feeling Horrible (Preview) Feeling really horrible about a situation tonight. I have a guy friend that has been there for me since I broke up with my EX-A. He has been so patient and understanding when I ask him the same questions over and over again. It' been almost 2 yrs. for our friendship, he has been incredible. the nicest gu...	notmywill	6	650	Sep 7, 2008 by notmywill
	September Business Meeting (Preview) MIP Al-Anon Business MeetingSeptember 7, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report Approval of September Business Mtg. MinutesTreasurer's Report: ...	Mandy123	0	258	Sep 7, 2008 by Mandy123
	August Meeting Minutes (Preview) Hi all, Sorry this took so long.....a lot going on here at home. Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer.With the Absence of the Secretary Chair requested approval of Julys minutes. Motion was made and minutes approved.With the Absence of Treasurer there was not a treasurers report. Chai...	Mandy123	0	323	Sep 7, 2008 by Mandy123
	Toddlers with Alcoholic Parents (Preview) My son's going to be 3 in December. He's not aware enough of the dynamics of our situation to understand his mom's got a drinking problem. She doesn't drink a lot in front of him and is not falling down drunk. But she's clipping or slurring her words every night when he and I get home from daycare and wor...	Jasocal	7	3638	Sep 7, 2008 by Jasocal
	sharing alanon words (Preview) I wanted to share what I read in my 'one day at the time' book yesterday when I looked up 'despair'. It helped me a lot and hope it will help others. page 119: Three things I will practice every day from now on: 1. I will stop being a crutch for the A. 2. I will not let myself concentrate on the distressing featu...	buick23	6	509	Sep 7, 2008 by Jean4444
	Couage to let go (Preview) Hi all, It's been a while since I checked in last. I feel so grateful for this board and the kind people who share their experiences here. Thank you all for being so giving of yourselves. My post today is about the courage to let go. I came to a realization about 6 weeks ago that whether I stay with my AH or not...	Rocky38	3	1025	Sep 7, 2008 by Jean4444
	Picking a sponsor (Preview) I am having alot of trouble thinking about spilling all of my "junk" on a stranger. I am having trouble knowing it will always be information that could never be leaked out. Sponsors are not licensed professionals and are not trained to counsel...right? How do I pick someone to entrust my l...	susannah	6	513	Sep 7, 2008 by Jerry F
	And then comes the dawn . . . (Preview) Or in my case, the sunset. (((((((((((My friends)))))))))))), Thank you so much for your support, your encouragement, your steady guidance, your love. This fear that I was experiencing was very unlike me. It was further complicated by the previous week which I had learned some difficult news to...	Maria123	6	1001	Sep 6, 2008 by Loupiness
	Necessity is the mother of invention... (Preview) I was sitting here looking out the window as it is rainy and fairly chilly today, and now that I am back on foot again, I thought back to the first time I was without a car when my old one went bellyup and I was without transportation for 7 months. During that time I was buying my dog food in the large 40 pound ba...	Tenderheartsks	5	484	Sep 6, 2008 by lin0606
	Still Lost (Preview) Hi I am so glad I found MIP, I have been reading the posts and gaining alot from them, to be honest I dont think I'd have got through the past few days without you. I havent heard from my bf since the phone call on Monday when he asked me to tell him it was over. He said he'd write to me that night, maybe the letter...	Mariner	4	494	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	Feeling sad tonight (Preview) Ten years ago today, I married my soon-to-be-ex-AH. It makes me a little sad tonight. Ive been thinking about him off and on through the day and making a point of NOT making things out to be a bed of roses ... He actually had a couple of drinks with breakfast before the ceremony with his father and grooms...	lmw	4	527	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	Grateful (Preview) Hi All, I was/am in the depths of despair over recent events with my partner who is a recovering addict. In despair and through tears I came across Al-Anon. What a life saver I cant tell you how much of a miracle it is for me to find myself here and have all you wonderful people accept me. How have I got thr...	Mariner	4	439	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	Getting past step one.... (Preview) I have just made the decision to pursue this journey whether alanon is where I should be or not. I believe anyone needs to be humbled and brought back to the foundations of who we are. I have just read about step one and already I am having trouble relating it to me. I am not at rock bottom. My life has not beco...	susannah	5	463	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	discontent this morning (Preview) feeling off..now that the a is gone i am lonely and uncertain my drug addiction and alcohol use seems to be calling out for me these days..i am 81 days sober and don't want to balk..but things just seem a bit empty and redundent now not doing the work i could be doing and simply feeling off my game right now t...	charlescharles	4	485	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	Feeling so angry and disappointed! (Preview) Hi all, I haven't been on the message board for a while as my A mother has been behaving better and we've been getting on ok. I'm relieved in a sense that she has been back at work and keeping the house relatively clean (which takes some of the pressure off me to do everything, wahoo! ) plus she hasn't been so...	b	3	439	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.