Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So here I go again at my millionth time quitting. It was in control of me rather than the other way around and my lungs are NOT happy. So I quit yesterday. The first few days are nightmarish. If only I could keep that feeling when I think about just having one... Anyway, today is day two of quitting and t...

charlescharles · charlescharles

mya..my 'girlfriend'..the woman of my dreams>???!!..blah blah blah she is suffering ten fold right now...last night was misery..she has finally gotten some food in her stomach and trying to settle down she dosen't have the finances to get to me...and i don't have the finances to get to her..tha...

glad · glad

Wow, when my dad heard of my breakup with BF he said : sorry your sad- I think all my kids are too good for everyone they choose (kiddingly) anyway so it will all be okay MY mom had to add the guilt trip: Well if you let him move back home I hope you will do me one favor and have a wedding this time- I swear sometime...

nmike · nmike

I knew better than to listen to a rumor about getting the job. This where working my program helps. I took it ODAT. And don't you know I got a reject letter in the mail. lol. Management decided to withdraw the job announcement. At least I know that I interviewed well. Great experience and I will keep tryin...

buick23 · buick23

I went to my meeting today, and felt worse when I left than I did when I got there. We read through the pamphlet "the merry go round called denial". This once again brought back all those memories that I had convienently blocked out lately. I am a mess right now, can't settle down to go to sleep....

cherrygirl30 · cherrygirl30

Hi all, I just posted my first post here yesterday about that guy i've been seeing. What happened now is last night I confronted him while talking online about the fact that he told me he's not ready for a relationship, yet last night he goes online and posts new pictures of himself shirtless and writes...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Abf returned to his group this today, after missing 2 weeks worth. He had drill this weekend, and by nothing short of a miracle, did not get demoted. This gave him a reason to celebrate...which he did. I went down to the shore with a girlfriend of mine on Sunday and when I got home, there he was, passed o...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I got all worried about AH missing his court date, of course at the last possible minute he picks up the phone, calls the courthouse, gets his hair cut, and leaves 10 minutes late. I can't believe I let myself get sucked into his problems. For the record, I wasn't going to help him out. It is hard to not be in...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Seems more of myself is being revealed daily, and it ain't too pretty. Realizations of myself and the true acknowlegement that "nothing changes if nothing changes". I have been in absolute denial that I could possibly suffer from depression. You know, I don't want to be depressed, maybe...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Dozy me! Please read, NO SUBJECT. Thank you. Suzannah

charlescharles · charlescharles

my 'girlfriend'..the woman that caused me to get into this program says she is coming back from detroit to see me..says she realizes she loves me bla bla bla i have told her repeadedly that i am not in love with her..don't want her to come back..all though i sat on the phone with her for hours yesterday..e...

olg1213 · olg1213

Part of the difficulty of trying to move forward in all of this is trying to make heads or tails out of it. My AH will go through periods of coming home drunk from work almost every day (he doesn't drink at home). To staying sober for 7 sometimes 10 days at a stretch. I ask myself is he an A or a problem drink...

java · java

I often wondered what an al-anon relapse would look like. Now that I have married a non-drinking alcoholic, I think I know. He quit drinking before we married two years ago, and he hasn't drank since, but he has become a control freak and a very possessive dry drunk. He won't let me go to an al-anon meetin...

Suzannah · Suzannah

((((((((((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))))))))) Please accept my apologies for not trusting this family in my dark night. I really have learned a very valuable lesson there; and, if you can bear it, I will entrust you with the reasons why I found myself in that boat, out in the middle of a wild sto...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi All After a week of turmoil and heartbreak things have taken a turn for the better. After the shock of my partner being advised against a new relationship whilst in recovery and him not being able to tell me to go, things had been very painful for us. We had both been really happy and healthy together a...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, At the moment my step mother A has stabilised with the secondary brain cancer and is living from day to day. My father is distancing himself from me and I ring most days to find out all is ok, not to fix, just to honour the agreement I made with the palliative nurses as I am the nearest in distance. M...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I think that the last time I posted was when I had an interview. Alot has happened since then. I did interview on a Friday two weeks ago. I thought that it went well. By Monday, someone in the company said congratulations on getting the job. Wow, but I haven't received anything official yet...

cherrygirl30 · cherrygirl30

Hi all, I am 30 years old and have been "seeing" a guy (sort of) who is addicted to many things, including alcohol, many drugs (pills, pot, etc). He's tried a few times that I know of to stop, but to be honest it just seems like halfattempts. He's been in rehab twice in the 6 months i dated him, b...

joyoma · joyoma

I posted last about "how do I accept what I cannot change?". Since that post I have been reluctant to say much more. It seems that what I really need to acknowledge are the final two words: CANNOT CHANGE. My son's problems have nearly taken away every shred of my ability to cope with anythin...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I learned something the other day, regarding "CAL" (conference approved literature). The ONLY things that are CAL approved by AA, Al-Anon, etc., are books that are anonymous and or specifically written for these groups - i.e. AA Big Book, Courage to Change, etc.... Even such treasure...

charlescharles · charlescharles

morning..tired this morning..went to a friends wedding yesterday..no drinking for me...that was easy..ran into old friends..it was good...young ladies i knew a lifetime or two ago..good to see friendly faces...woman that i know actually love me anyway..just thought i'd share my commitiment t...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hi Family, I don't feel I belong here right now I am so mixed up as to where I should be, who I should be talking to and what I should be doing that I don't feel comfortable. Right now.................no that's not right............for a couple of months now I feel I have been back tracking and I know tha...

glad · glad

Ugh!!! So much drama within my head. Time with my higher power will heal me. My A that I love, came back from out of town working for 10 days ignoring me, down appeared depressed said he was stressed then said he was bored. Basically he was just really unhappy and I have no real idea why and probably never w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So long time no see once again. I just wanted to say hi and let everyone know how things are going for me and my family. The kids are all back in school, everyone is in the grade that they should be in and in fact the oldest daughter who was held back in the 8th grade last year is in high school (thanks to my pes...

buick23 · buick23

I'm letting my asober get to me again. I feel like I've taken steps back since he got back home tonight after jail. The weekend was nice and laid back. Then he shows up, I say something, he gets upset about it, and there we go with an argument. I took myself away from the situation at one point but I'm still up...

Marshmallow · Marshmallow

I left my AH 2 1/2 months ago and filed for divorce one month after leaving. I started F2F Alanon meetings the night that I filed. After I started the meetings I decided that maybe my decision was made too quickly and in anger. Even as I gave the papers to my husband I said this is not the solution I had hop...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

In order to get past the pain, I have to walk through it. My sponsor has said more than once that when we start to get better in a program of recovery, there will be those who don't want us to get well. In my case, it's my family of origin. I'm tired of being the scapegoat for my youngest AD's actions, and I know...

Codependent · Codependent

I think I told you that last week I was having panic attacks. Anyway, they upped my zoloft and added ativan. I mentioned this to my A who responded "how many pills do you take?" Anyway, he has been with the other woman and I am trying to detach. A friend from out of town had gone out with him th...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello family, As some of you may have read, its been a pretty horrendous week for me. I am finally coming thru the fog, and I am beginning to think, REALLY think about what my options are. I just realized that I do indeed have them. I want this relationship to end. I know that more than I know anything el...

Mariner · Mariner

This last week has been a nightmare, since my bf called last Monday saying we had to part. He had been 'advised' by his group worker in rehab against having a relationship in his early recovery.I know that hurt him as much as it hurts me, I understand what he is up against and am trying to stay strong for...

notmywill · notmywill

Feeling really horrible about a situation tonight. I have a guy friend that has been there for me since I broke up with my EX-A. He has been so patient and understanding when I ask him the same questions over and over again. It' been almost 2 yrs. for our friendship, he has been incredible. the nicest gu...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

MIP Al-Anon Business MeetingSeptember 7, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report Approval of September Business Mtg. MinutesTreasurer's Report: ...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Sorry this took so long.....a lot going on here at home. Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer.With the Absence of the Secretary Chair requested approval of Julys minutes. Motion was made and minutes approved.With the Absence of Treasurer there was not a treasurers report. Chai...

Jasocal · Jasocal

My son's going to be 3 in December. He's not aware enough of the dynamics of our situation to understand his mom's got a drinking problem. She doesn't drink a lot in front of him and is not falling down drunk. But she's clipping or slurring her words every night when he and I get home from daycare and wor...

buick23 · buick23

I wanted to share what I read in my 'one day at the time' book yesterday when I looked up 'despair'. It helped me a lot and hope it will help others. page 119: Three things I will practice every day from now on: 1. I will stop being a crutch for the A. 2. I will not let myself concentrate on the distressing featu...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi all, It's been a while since I checked in last. I feel so grateful for this board and the kind people who share their experiences here. Thank you all for being so giving of yourselves. My post today is about the courage to let go. I came to a realization about 6 weeks ago that whether I stay with my AH or not...

susannah · susannah

I am having alot of trouble thinking about spilling all of my "junk" on a stranger. I am having trouble knowing it will always be information that could never be leaked out. Sponsors are not licensed professionals and are not trained to counsel...right? How do I pick someone to entrust my l...

Maria123 · Maria123

Or in my case, the sunset. (((((((((((My friends)))))))))))), Thank you so much for your support, your encouragement, your steady guidance, your love. This fear that I was experiencing was very unlike me. It was further complicated by the previous week which I had learned some difficult news to...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I was sitting here looking out the window as it is rainy and fairly chilly today, and now that I am back on foot again, I thought back to the first time I was without a car when my old one went bellyup and I was without transportation for 7 months. During that time I was buying my dog food in the large 40 pound ba...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi I am so glad I found MIP, I have been reading the posts and gaining alot from them, to be honest I dont think I'd have got through the past few days without you. I havent heard from my bf since the phone call on Monday when he asked me to tell him it was over. He said he'd write to me that night, maybe the letter...

lmw · lmw

Ten years ago today, I married my soon-to-be-ex-AH. It makes me a little sad tonight. Ive been thinking about him off and on through the day and making a point of NOT making things out to be a bed of roses ... He actually had a couple of drinks with breakfast before the ceremony with his father and grooms...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi All, I was/am in the depths of despair over recent events with my partner who is a recovering addict. In despair and through tears I came across Al-Anon. What a life saver I cant tell you how much of a miracle it is for me to find myself here and have all you wonderful people accept me. How have I got thr...

susannah · susannah

I have just made the decision to pursue this journey whether alanon is where I should be or not. I believe anyone needs to be humbled and brought back to the foundations of who we are. I have just read about step one and already I am having trouble relating it to me. I am not at rock bottom. My life has not beco...

charlescharles · charlescharles

feeling off..now that the a is gone i am lonely and uncertain my drug addiction and alcohol use seems to be calling out for me these days..i am 81 days sober and don't want to balk..but things just seem a bit empty and redundent now not doing the work i could be doing and simply feeling off my game right now t...

maresie · b

Hi all, I haven't been on the message board for a while as my A mother has been behaving better and we've been getting on ok. I'm relieved in a sense that she has been back at work and keeping the house relatively clean (which takes some of the pressure off me to do everything, wahoo! ) plus she hasn't been so...

untitled33 · untitled33

Hi, I was considering going to an Al-Anon meeting, but can't find any close enough, soon enough, so I found this board instead. I recently graduated college, and work full time now. I've been out of my parent's house for about 6 years. I myself am very familiar with 12-step programs, as I attended one du...

liljeannie · liljeannie

As I sit here, trying to figure out what to say, all of these half thoughts are racing thru my mind. Asober b/f came to me this morning and told him how very sorry he was/is that things got so out of control the other night. He told me that I had nothing to fear from him, that he would never hurt me physically...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I am living in the same house as AH and am trying to get seperated. It's a slow and not very productive proccess. He was arrested for DUI 2 1/2 weeks ago. I told him he had to leave. e would half ass look in the classified adds but never did a thing and continues to drink (oh so discreetly) in the house. Last nig...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I have not heard from, nor spoken to my parents since I made it clear I was stepping out of the drama involving AD's totaled car and her now driving the Nissan. This morning I went to check email, and as all the messages were downloading, I did catch a glimpse of Dad's email address as it went to trash (I set a...

buick23 · buick23

It's funny how one day is good, the next isn't, then it changes again. Again, he's showing me how selfish he is, and arguments about little stupid things come up, but they really have a bigger meaning. This last argument was about catlitter. He used to always buy the catfood and litter. Now he refuses to...

mslouise · mslouise

The last couple of days I have been trying real hard to focus on me more. I am reading the toby rice book that I received from Canidianguy and my ODAT book and going to meetings. I have been trying not to worry about how my bf has been hanging with his friend alot lately. If I have spare time, I have be...

maresie · maresie

Last night my landlord who I could really have a difficult relationship with if I did not detach came to the house I live in. Many of the people who rent from him have a very difficult relationship with him. I certainly used to. At one point when he was speaking to several of us he volunteered a political o...

Codependent · Codependent

Okay so Canada Guy sent me Getting the Sober and I have started reading. I am also reading "When you love them more than they love you". I am also reading the Alanon book. I am posting here and over on the NA site some. Yet, I keep coming up with these questions...Why does he resent me so much? It...

liljeannie · liljeannie

I feel as if I am losing my mind. Funny how when push comes to shove, the people who offer you help renig on their offer. I got kinda beaten up last night by asober b/f. I am so scared, I am so poor and I am so desperate. I truly feel that there is no one who can help me, and I am not in a situation to help myself r...

susannah · susannah

I think I will give alanon a try. Yes, my therapist did suggest it to me. Actually, she mentioned AA. I do drink socially and recently I have had nights where I have more than I should. I haven't been my typical responsible self. I have always been so aware of my alcohol intake because of my background. I wi...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I always get excited when a hurricane is coming. I think this is part of my drama/chaos addiction. I can feel the thrill of excitement in the air as it closes in, no fear just anticipation. I know that's kinda silly considering the destruction and danger that comes with them, but I can't help myself. So...

Tracy · Tracy

I have been detaching from my partners life haning it back to him more and more as I develop in Al anomn. Mircles are beginning to slowely happen as I make healthy choices for me and leave his choices to him. HP is working with him and I am trying to concentrate on me. Juat when I thought I am getting this a...

Codependent · Codependent

Apparently the A told his sister in law that even though he is now with the girl he got arrested with she is good for him as she is clean now. He said that I am not good for him as when we go out all I want to do is use! I know I mentioned last week that we used together- both times we went out. I am not making excus...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((Family)))), Just wanted to let you all know, Piper was given a clean bill of health today! She even managed to gain back some weight. The vet was very pleased. I could tell she was getting back to her normal self. Last Sunday when I came home from work, I walked into the bedroom to find not one...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just sort of pissed off tonight..fueled..angry..resentful..full of hate and rage at my a and at myself for letting her go..keeping her around..talking with her and not talking with her pissed at some of the things that went down between me and her...fights..punches to the face..spitting on each o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Quit smoking (Preview) So here I go again at my millionth time quitting. It was in control of me rather than the other way around and my lungs are NOT happy. So I quit yesterday. The first few days are nightmarish. If only I could keep that feeling when I think about just having one... Anyway, today is day two of quitting and t...	carolinagirl	3	476	Sep 10, 2008 by CJ
	tired and exhausted (Preview) mya..my 'girlfriend'..the woman of my dreams>???!!..blah blah blah she is suffering ten fold right now...last night was misery..she has finally gotten some food in her stomach and trying to settle down she dosen't have the finances to get to me...and i don't have the finances to get to her..tha...	charlescharles	4	380	Sep 9, 2008 by CJ
	ughhh!! my mom (Preview) Wow, when my dad heard of my breakup with BF he said : sorry your sad- I think all my kids are too good for everyone they choose (kiddingly) anyway so it will all be okay MY mom had to add the guilt trip: Well if you let him move back home I hope you will do me one favor and have a wedding this time- I swear sometime...	glad	5	466	Sep 9, 2008 by Jean4444
	I knew better! (Preview) I knew better than to listen to a rumor about getting the job. This where working my program helps. I took it ODAT. And don't you know I got a reject letter in the mail. lol. Management decided to withdraw the job announcement. At least I know that I interviewed well. Great experience and I will keep tryin...	nmike	6	437	Sep 9, 2008 by Jean4444
	give up or keep trying? (Preview) I went to my meeting today, and felt worse when I left than I did when I got there. We read through the pamphlet "the merry go round called denial". This once again brought back all those memories that I had convienently blocked out lately. I am a mess right now, can't settle down to go to sleep....	buick23	6	645	Sep 9, 2008 by abbyal
	Ok, So Last Night We Fought and he said Never Text/Call Him Again (Preview) Hi all, I just posted my first post here yesterday about that guy i've been seeing. What happened now is last night I confronted him while talking online about the fact that he told me he's not ready for a relationship, yet last night he goes online and posts new pictures of himself shirtless and writes...	cherrygirl30	6	474	Sep 9, 2008 by lin0606
	downward spiral (Preview) Abf returned to his group this today, after missing 2 weeks worth. He had drill this weekend, and by nothing short of a miracle, did not get demoted. This gave him a reason to celebrate...which he did. I went down to the shore with a girlfriend of mine on Sunday and when I got home, there he was, passed o...	liljeannie	3	438	Sep 9, 2008 by maresie
	AH goes to court (Preview) I got all worried about AH missing his court date, of course at the last possible minute he picks up the phone, calls the courthouse, gets his hair cut, and leaves 10 minutes late. I can't believe I let myself get sucked into his problems. For the record, I wasn't going to help him out. It is hard to not be in...	RainyJamie	6	601	Sep 9, 2008 by CJ
	Is it depression or just "me"? (Preview) Seems more of myself is being revealed daily, and it ain't too pretty. Realizations of myself and the true acknowlegement that "nothing changes if nothing changes". I have been in absolute denial that I could possibly suffer from depression. You know, I don't want to be depressed, maybe...	Loupiness	8	510	Sep 9, 2008 by lin0606
	That NO SUBJECT post was a prayer request for our lovely DEBILYN. (Preview) Dozy me! Please read, NO SUBJECT. Thank you. Suzannah	Suzannah	0	498	Sep 9, 2008 by Suzannah
	she says shes coming back (Preview) my 'girlfriend'..the woman that caused me to get into this program says she is coming back from detroit to see me..says she realizes she loves me bla bla bla i have told her repeadedly that i am not in love with her..don't want her to come back..all though i sat on the phone with her for hours yesterday..e...	charlescharles	5	557	Sep 9, 2008 by buick23
	Living in a confused state (Preview) Part of the difficulty of trying to move forward in all of this is trying to make heads or tails out of it. My AH will go through periods of coming home drunk from work almost every day (he doesn't drink at home). To staying sober for 7 sometimes 10 days at a stretch. I ask myself is he an A or a problem drink...	olg1213	3	421	Sep 9, 2008 by maresie
	Al-anon relapse (Preview) I often wondered what an al-anon relapse would look like. Now that I have married a non-drinking alcoholic, I think I know. He quit drinking before we married two years ago, and he hasn't drank since, but he has become a control freak and a very possessive dry drunk. He won't let me go to an al-anon meetin...	java	5	1868	Sep 9, 2008 by maresie
	Okay family, honesty is the best policy and thank you all for being there for me... Love you... (Preview) ((((((((((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))))))))) Please accept my apologies for not trusting this family in my dark night. I really have learned a very valuable lesson there; and, if you can bear it, I will entrust you with the reasons why I found myself in that boat, out in the middle of a wild sto...	Suzannah	7	458	Sep 9, 2008 by Jen
	Gratitude (Preview) Hi All After a week of turmoil and heartbreak things have taken a turn for the better. After the shock of my partner being advised against a new relationship whilst in recovery and him not being able to tell me to go, things had been very painful for us. We had both been really happy and healthy together a...	Mariner	3	414	Sep 9, 2008 by maresie
	Walking on eggshells (Preview) Dear All, At the moment my step mother A has stabilised with the secondary brain cancer and is living from day to day. My father is distancing himself from me and I ring most days to find out all is ok, not to fix, just to honour the agreement I made with the palliative nurses as I am the nearest in distance. M...	maire rua	6	574	Sep 9, 2008 by maresie
	Where do I start? (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I think that the last time I posted was when I had an interview. Alot has happened since then. I did interview on a Friday two weeks ago. I thought that it went well. By Monday, someone in the company said congratulations on getting the job. Wow, but I haven't received anything official yet...	nmike	7	825	Sep 9, 2008 by Loupiness
	New at This, Please Help - Need Advice!!! (Preview) Hi all, I am 30 years old and have been "seeing" a guy (sort of) who is addicted to many things, including alcohol, many drugs (pills, pot, etc). He's tried a few times that I know of to stop, but to be honest it just seems like halfattempts. He's been in rehab twice in the 6 months i dated him, b...	cherrygirl30	10	547	Sep 8, 2008 by Mariner
	letting go (Preview) I posted last about "how do I accept what I cannot change?". Since that post I have been reluctant to say much more. It seems that what I really need to acknowledge are the final two words: CANNOT CHANGE. My son's problems have nearly taken away every shred of my ability to cope with anythin...	joyoma	3	390	Sep 8, 2008 by Jen
	CAL vs. "other stuff" (Preview) I learned something the other day, regarding "CAL" (conference approved literature). The ONLY things that are CAL approved by AA, Al-Anon, etc., are books that are anonymous and or specifically written for these groups - i.e. AA Big Book, Courage to Change, etc.... Even such treasure...	canadianguy	6	1658	Sep 8, 2008 by Rita G
	another morning rant (Preview) morning..tired this morning..went to a friends wedding yesterday..no drinking for me...that was easy..ran into old friends..it was good...young ladies i knew a lifetime or two ago..good to see friendly faces...woman that i know actually love me anyway..just thought i'd share my commitiment t...	charlescharles	1	287	Sep 8, 2008 by maresie
	I don't feel I belong here any more (Preview) Hi Family, I don't feel I belong here right now I am so mixed up as to where I should be, who I should be talking to and what I should be doing that I don't feel comfortable. Right now.................no that's not right............for a couple of months now I feel I have been back tracking and I know tha...	Suzannah	12	710	Sep 8, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	God Grant me the ability to think of myself (Preview) Ugh!!! So much drama within my head. Time with my higher power will heal me. My A that I love, came back from out of town working for 10 days ignoring me, down appeared depressed said he was stressed then said he was bored. Basically he was just really unhappy and I have no real idea why and probably never w...	glad	5	583	Sep 8, 2008 by 3Hz
	Update (long) (Preview) So long time no see once again. I just wanted to say hi and let everyone know how things are going for me and my family. The kids are all back in school, everyone is in the grade that they should be in and in fact the oldest daughter who was held back in the 8th grade last year is in high school (thanks to my pes...	carolinagirl	4	431	Sep 8, 2008 by carolinagirl
	here we go again (Preview) I'm letting my asober get to me again. I feel like I've taken steps back since he got back home tonight after jail. The weekend was nice and laid back. Then he shows up, I say something, he gets upset about it, and there we go with an argument. I took myself away from the situation at one point but I'm still up...	buick23	2	293	Sep 7, 2008 by kitty
	Mixed Signals (Preview) I left my AH 2 1/2 months ago and filed for divorce one month after leaving. I started F2F Alanon meetings the night that I filed. After I started the meetings I decided that maybe my decision was made too quickly and in anger. Even as I gave the papers to my husband I said this is not the solution I had hop...	Marshmallow	2	440	Sep 7, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Hurting today (Preview) In order to get past the pain, I have to walk through it. My sponsor has said more than once that when we start to get better in a program of recovery, there will be those who don't want us to get well. In my case, it's my family of origin. I'm tired of being the scapegoat for my youngest AD's actions, and I know...	Tenderheartsks	6	754	Sep 7, 2008 by glad
	They think I am crazy (Preview) I think I told you that last week I was having panic attacks. Anyway, they upped my zoloft and added ativan. I mentioned this to my A who responded "how many pills do you take?" Anyway, he has been with the other woman and I am trying to detach. A friend from out of town had gone out with him th...	Codependent	7	470	Sep 7, 2008 by notmywill
	building a bridge..... (Preview) Hello family, As some of you may have read, its been a pretty horrendous week for me. I am finally coming thru the fog, and I am beginning to think, REALLY think about what my options are. I just realized that I do indeed have them. I want this relationship to end. I know that more than I know anything el...	liljeannie	2	477	Sep 7, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Heading For A Fall (Preview) This last week has been a nightmare, since my bf called last Monday saying we had to part. He had been 'advised' by his group worker in rehab against having a relationship in his early recovery.I know that hurt him as much as it hurts me, I understand what he is up against and am trying to stay strong for...	Mariner	2	403	Sep 7, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Feeling Horrible (Preview) Feeling really horrible about a situation tonight. I have a guy friend that has been there for me since I broke up with my EX-A. He has been so patient and understanding when I ask him the same questions over and over again. It' been almost 2 yrs. for our friendship, he has been incredible. the nicest gu...	notmywill	6	615	Sep 7, 2008 by notmywill
	September Business Meeting (Preview) MIP Al-Anon Business MeetingSeptember 7, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report Approval of September Business Mtg. MinutesTreasurer's Report: ...	Mandy123	0	229	Sep 7, 2008 by Mandy123
	August Meeting Minutes (Preview) Hi all, Sorry this took so long.....a lot going on here at home. Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer.With the Absence of the Secretary Chair requested approval of Julys minutes. Motion was made and minutes approved.With the Absence of Treasurer there was not a treasurers report. Chai...	Mandy123	0	289	Sep 7, 2008 by Mandy123
	Toddlers with Alcoholic Parents (Preview) My son's going to be 3 in December. He's not aware enough of the dynamics of our situation to understand his mom's got a drinking problem. She doesn't drink a lot in front of him and is not falling down drunk. But she's clipping or slurring her words every night when he and I get home from daycare and wor...	Jasocal	7	3603	Sep 7, 2008 by Jasocal
	sharing alanon words (Preview) I wanted to share what I read in my 'one day at the time' book yesterday when I looked up 'despair'. It helped me a lot and hope it will help others. page 119: Three things I will practice every day from now on: 1. I will stop being a crutch for the A. 2. I will not let myself concentrate on the distressing featu...	buick23	6	476	Sep 7, 2008 by Jean4444
	Couage to let go (Preview) Hi all, It's been a while since I checked in last. I feel so grateful for this board and the kind people who share their experiences here. Thank you all for being so giving of yourselves. My post today is about the courage to let go. I came to a realization about 6 weeks ago that whether I stay with my AH or not...	Rocky38	3	981	Sep 7, 2008 by Jean4444
	Picking a sponsor (Preview) I am having alot of trouble thinking about spilling all of my "junk" on a stranger. I am having trouble knowing it will always be information that could never be leaked out. Sponsors are not licensed professionals and are not trained to counsel...right? How do I pick someone to entrust my l...	susannah	6	479	Sep 7, 2008 by Jerry F
	And then comes the dawn . . . (Preview) Or in my case, the sunset. (((((((((((My friends)))))))))))), Thank you so much for your support, your encouragement, your steady guidance, your love. This fear that I was experiencing was very unlike me. It was further complicated by the previous week which I had learned some difficult news to...	Maria123	6	961	Sep 6, 2008 by Loupiness
	Necessity is the mother of invention... (Preview) I was sitting here looking out the window as it is rainy and fairly chilly today, and now that I am back on foot again, I thought back to the first time I was without a car when my old one went bellyup and I was without transportation for 7 months. During that time I was buying my dog food in the large 40 pound ba...	Tenderheartsks	5	454	Sep 6, 2008 by lin0606
	Still Lost (Preview) Hi I am so glad I found MIP, I have been reading the posts and gaining alot from them, to be honest I dont think I'd have got through the past few days without you. I havent heard from my bf since the phone call on Monday when he asked me to tell him it was over. He said he'd write to me that night, maybe the letter...	Mariner	4	462	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	Feeling sad tonight (Preview) Ten years ago today, I married my soon-to-be-ex-AH. It makes me a little sad tonight. Ive been thinking about him off and on through the day and making a point of NOT making things out to be a bed of roses ... He actually had a couple of drinks with breakfast before the ceremony with his father and grooms...	lmw	4	495	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	Grateful (Preview) Hi All, I was/am in the depths of despair over recent events with my partner who is a recovering addict. In despair and through tears I came across Al-Anon. What a life saver I cant tell you how much of a miracle it is for me to find myself here and have all you wonderful people accept me. How have I got thr...	Mariner	4	408	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	Getting past step one.... (Preview) I have just made the decision to pursue this journey whether alanon is where I should be or not. I believe anyone needs to be humbled and brought back to the foundations of who we are. I have just read about step one and already I am having trouble relating it to me. I am not at rock bottom. My life has not beco...	susannah	5	425	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	discontent this morning (Preview) feeling off..now that the a is gone i am lonely and uncertain my drug addiction and alcohol use seems to be calling out for me these days..i am 81 days sober and don't want to balk..but things just seem a bit empty and redundent now not doing the work i could be doing and simply feeling off my game right now t...	charlescharles	4	446	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	Feeling so angry and disappointed! (Preview) Hi all, I haven't been on the message board for a while as my A mother has been behaving better and we've been getting on ok. I'm relieved in a sense that she has been back at work and keeping the house relatively clean (which takes some of the pressure off me to do everything, wahoo! ) plus she hasn't been so...	b	3	404	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	An incredibly long introductory post (Preview) Hi, I was considering going to an Al-Anon meeting, but can't find any close enough, soon enough, so I found this board instead. I recently graduated college, and work full time now. I've been out of my parent's house for about 6 years. I myself am very familiar with 12-step programs, as I attended one du...	untitled33	4	550	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	so now what? (Preview) As I sit here, trying to figure out what to say, all of these half thoughts are racing thru my mind. Asober b/f came to me this morning and told him how very sorry he was/is that things got so out of control the other night. He told me that I had nothing to fear from him, that he would never hurt me physically...	liljeannie	10	572	Sep 6, 2008 by maresie
	withholding information (Preview) I am living in the same house as AH and am trying to get seperated. It's a slow and not very productive proccess. He was arrested for DUI 2 1/2 weeks ago. I told him he had to leave. e would half ass look in the classified adds but never did a thing and continues to drink (oh so discreetly) in the house. Last nig...	RainyJamie	7	1034	Sep 6, 2008 by CJ
	Staying out of the drama between youngest AD and my parents (Preview) I have not heard from, nor spoken to my parents since I made it clear I was stepping out of the drama involving AD's totaled car and her now driving the Nissan. This morning I went to check email, and as all the messages were downloading, I did catch a glimpse of Dad's email address as it went to trash (I set a...	Tenderheartsks	5	542	Sep 6, 2008 by Jean4444
	arguments about stupid little things (Preview) It's funny how one day is good, the next isn't, then it changes again. Again, he's showing me how selfish he is, and arguments about little stupid things come up, but they really have a bigger meaning. This last argument was about catlitter. He used to always buy the catfood and litter. Now he refuses to...	buick23	9	547	Sep 5, 2008 by lin0606
	I know what this means when my bf said this...focus on me (Preview) The last couple of days I have been trying real hard to focus on me more. I am reading the toby rice book that I received from Canidianguy and my ODAT book and going to meetings. I have been trying not to worry about how my bf has been hanging with his friend alot lately. If I have spare time, I have be...	mslouise	7	489	Sep 5, 2008 by lin0606
	rewards of detachment (Preview) Last night my landlord who I could really have a difficult relationship with if I did not detach came to the house I live in. Many of the people who rent from him have a very difficult relationship with him. I certainly used to. At one point when he was speaking to several of us he volunteered a political o...	maresie	4	411	Sep 5, 2008 by maresie
	Resentment (Preview) Okay so Canada Guy sent me Getting the Sober and I have started reading. I am also reading "When you love them more than they love you". I am also reading the Alanon book. I am posting here and over on the NA site some. Yet, I keep coming up with these questions...Why does he resent me so much? It...	Codependent	6	618	Sep 5, 2008 by serendipity
	bad to worse.....hurt, scared, desperate HELP please!! (Preview) I feel as if I am losing my mind. Funny how when push comes to shove, the people who offer you help renig on their offer. I got kinda beaten up last night by asober b/f. I am so scared, I am so poor and I am so desperate. I truly feel that there is no one who can help me, and I am not in a situation to help myself r...	liljeannie	9	531	Sep 5, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	where do I go from here? (Preview) I think I will give alanon a try. Yes, my therapist did suggest it to me. Actually, she mentioned AA. I do drink socially and recently I have had nights where I have more than I should. I haven't been my typical responsible self. I have always been so aware of my alcohol intake because of my background. I wi...	susannah	5	449	Sep 5, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Hurricane coming!!!!! (Preview) I always get excited when a hurricane is coming. I think this is part of my drama/chaos addiction. I can feel the thrill of excitement in the air as it closes in, no fear just anticipation. I know that's kinda silly considering the destruction and danger that comes with them, but I can't help myself. So...	carolinagirl	4	370	Sep 5, 2008 by Karilynn
	let go of control (Preview) I have been detaching from my partners life haning it back to him more and more as I develop in Al anomn. Mircles are beginning to slowely happen as I make healthy choices for me and leave his choices to him. HP is working with him and I am trying to concentrate on me. Juat when I thought I am getting this a...	Tracy	2	425	Sep 5, 2008 by maire rua
	He said I wasn't good for him- true (Preview) Apparently the A told his sister in law that even though he is now with the girl he got arrested with she is good for him as she is clean now. He said that I am not good for him as when we go out all I want to do is use! I know I mentioned last week that we used together- both times we went out. I am not making excus...	Codependent	10	563	Sep 5, 2008 by maire rua
	Clean bill of health! (Preview) ((((((Family)))), Just wanted to let you all know, Piper was given a clean bill of health today! She even managed to gain back some weight. The vet was very pleased. I could tell she was getting back to her normal self. Last Sunday when I came home from work, I walked into the bedroom to find not one...	Karilynn	9	418	Sep 4, 2008 by cookie1971
	angry at myself and others (Preview) just sort of pissed off tonight..fueled..angry..resentful..full of hate and rage at my a and at myself for letting her go..keeping her around..talking with her and not talking with her pissed at some of the things that went down between me and her...fights..punches to the face..spitting on each o...	charlescharles	2	552	Sep 4, 2008 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.