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Hello all, Its been a while since I have posted, and though I thought things were going well, I was wrong. My asoberb/f is coming into some money. We have known about this for a few months. When he told me about it, he promised me that half of that money would be for me. I told him I would not expect otherwise as he owes me over 6,000 bucks of debt. He then stated that he was not going to give me the money, and I asked him if he was breaking yet another promise, he said no. Last night, he conveniently forgot that he had ever made that promise, not once, but twice! Because of the debt that he owed to me, I am not able to get any credit in my own name, therefore, can not even get myself a car, cellphone, student loan, ANYTHING! He told me that he would take care of the outstanding debt to my creditors and make the money order out directly to them. I said no, that I would take care of it as it was my debt. He told me that he would not give me the money. I said that I was disappointed that he could not keep his promise to me without putting conditions on it and that if he could not live up to his end of the agreement, that I would contact my attorney. No sooner did I say this did he run to the phone to call his mother, telling her HE needed a lawyer because I was being unreasonable, and proceeded to tell her all about OUR problems. I am absolutely FURIOUS! I dont discuss my personal affairs with my family, as they are MY personal affairs, and given the fact that the relationship I have with his family is already on shaky ground, I am absolutely MORTIFIED that he would involve them instead of taking care of things as an adult. Now I am getting ready to leave for work and he is god knows where and I am getting this sick icky feeling ........ Jeannie
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if you bring forth what is within you, what is within you will save you
He told me that he would take care of the outstanding debt to my creditors and make the money order out directly to them
Hi.... sometimes we allow ourselves to get very wound up fighting battles that aren't quite as significant as they might otherwise seem..... if he does, in fact, do what he says above, why does it really matter if he gives the money to you, or directly to your creditors?? I dunno, it just doesn't seem this one is of all that great a consequence to you, aside from the promise and/or control issues.....
T
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I can see your point, it would look better for you to take care of the debt, I wish you the best and it is trying when money is used as a power thing and as a weapon. See what you can do no matter how small about your rating etc.
My last serious relationship 9 years ago, and now in looking back I see he was a dry drunk while with me, cost me over 9 grand.
When the savings account ran dry, after I had spent a month caring for his two daughters while they visited us on summer break, after I had totally immersed myself in him, he left.
It was a blessing in disguise because that relationship and him walking out on me finally brought to my knees with my codependency issues.
The monetary loss was chump change compared to the loss of myself in that relationship.
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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
yeah, LJ, your story there could have been mine. I do know how crazy making it can be. But its your choice to go crazy, you do not have to.
My soon to be x AH made so many financial promises. He was a liar like all alcoholics. Watch what they do, not what they say.
I lost my perfect credit in that marriage. I cannot get anything. My biggest warning is to mix your money/financial life with an A- just do not even go there. I wish someone had told me so I would have been more careful and protected myself. Hugs, J.
