The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi All, Have enjoyed reading the post, especially Maresie's in relation to guarding private space. I am up the walls as usual but detaching from my step mom's daughers, two of which are half sisters are mine. She having radiation for brain cancer and I rang and spoke to her today, she was civil, unfortunately she thought I was my cousin so am not sure how civil she would be if not, it was good to hear her in good form, and I wish her well. I'm stressed with trying to register for write up, my supervisor has not replied but am putting it in hps hands. I know over the last few weeks that people have said what does it matter whether my father and Barbara drink so much and especially now, I feel the complete opposite, there is no honest dialogue with drink and she gets very volatile with it, I saw her with her daughter who had neglected to bring something and it was hard going, I am not taking her inventory just noticing the effects of drink, which beat brain cancer effects every time, am valuing time more, stayed resigned from the community council thing, and just playing the waiting game.
All I can say that one of my current grief issues was that both my parents were still ill and very severely mentally ill till they died. Another current grief issues is that my two sisters are both alcoholics. I did so much want to have some kind of a family to work with. I have been working on this in therapy and can't say I find the answers I would like. No one can conjure up a family of origin who aren't severely dysfunctional for me. I have to create my own, easier said than done of course.
My therapist is the one who suggesed creating a fierce private space for myself and also learning to say over and over I'm not available. I'm getting better at it. I'm also getting better at work at speaking up and saying I don't know how to do this without shame.
I believe I will be greiving my awful dysfunctional sad, tragic family my entire life. I know though with al anon I can detach. I have to work at it, really really work at it but it does come.
