The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This last week has been a nightmare, since my bf called last Monday saying we had to part. He had been 'advised' by his group worker in rehab against having a relationship in his early recovery.I know that hurt him as much as it hurts me, I understand what he is up against and am trying to stay strong for him. I havent recieved the promised letter from him and am obsessing about this. I'm doing the what if's and imagined conversation stuff in my head. I feel sick and dizzy. I know for sure if I hadent found MIP and been able to check in a read the posts I would have done something really stupid by now. Thank God you are all here, when I'm not feeling completly irrational I can almost be thankful this happened to me so that I came to find this place. I am on night duty this week. I work a senior nursing job in ER, can you imagine the way I've had to pretend all is ok while I turn up for my shifts. Is that a sign of strength or crazyness?? I am finishing my rota tomorrow and that will be when the real problems will start. Free to unravel I probably will. I want to call him and talk it through but that will be more like call him and fall apart. I'm trying to do the right thing but am feeling unstable to say the least. I have written down some of the quotes off the posts, also I think it was Jerrys words about 'if you love something let it go...' to try and give me some healthy support. Thank you all for being there this week, thank you all for sharing your thoughts and wisdom. It's like I've had a whole gang of great people carrying me through. Please keep hold of me and I'll be able to do the right thing.
Maybe you could look at this time a gift - time that you can spend on yourself, without having to worry about him. Spend some time focusing on your own recovery, doing the reading and going to meetings that you maybe wouldn't do if he were around, and also give yourself some personal fun and pampering.
