The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am having alot of trouble thinking about spilling all of my "junk" on a stranger. I am having trouble knowing it will always be information that could never be leaked out. Sponsors are not licensed professionals and are not trained to counsel...right? How do I pick someone to entrust my life story with? What if I make the wrong choice? I can totally see why I would need one. I can totally see how he/she would be an awesome resource for me. I get it but it scares me. A f2f meeting scares me equally. I am so used to smiling and faking my happiness. The thought of showing how I really feel on the inside sounds awful!!!
Susannah; trust isn't easy; ask your HP for guidance; he will send you someone very special that you can grow to trust. You don't have to share what you are not comfortable sharing ever not even with a sponsor. Best of luck to you.
(((susannah))) First things first. Maybe you are getting your cart ahead of the horse. Slow down,take a breath, look before you leap, go slow. In Al-Anon we take baby steps, not one giant leap for mankind.
With that in mind you are at the right place. In Al-Anon as with almost anything nothing happens overnight. There are no crash courses. The steps take time. When I went to my first f2f meeting I knew immediately I had step 1 down pat. I admitted I had no control over my AW on occasions and that my life was unmanageable sometimes. Ready for step 2.Wrong!! When I looked at the 12 steps I felt confortable that I could get through them in a couple of weeks, probably sooner. Wrong!! My personal first step was to get involved in this program, practice it as best I could in my everyday life, jump in head first. The f2f meetings were the key. You say they scare you. They scared most of us only because we had never been inside one. Going to my first f2f meeting was the best think I could have possibly done for myself. It changed my life, and it can do the same for you. I am not writting this post to tell you what to do. Nothing could be futher from the truth. Only my ESP knowing what this program has done for me and thousands of others when they apply and practice the Al-Anon program in their lives.
Type in f2f meetings in the search bar above,and see the responses of members of this board. If you do attend a f2f meeting you will be welcomed by people who care, and share where you are and what you are dealing with in your life.
Life is full of choices, of course those or you calls, do the next right thing for yourself. Keep coming back. I wish you the best. RLC
You do not have to be in a rush to find a sponsor. I would not recomend you jump into a sponsor relationship without first getting to know the person you ask a little bit first. As RLC has said in this program we take very small steps. Just think slow and steady. Don't rush the recovery process. Learn to trust it. I did and it has helped me greatly as I can trust other peoples recovery process too.
In recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
What I learned was that sharing made a good half of the burden disappear. Just saying it out loud, not even doing one thing about it. Just speaking the truth out loud to another human being is so healing - the things that are so huge in our heads become managable when said out loud.
People have always known this - it's no accident that the Catholic Church has practiced Confession for thousands of years, it's no accident that psychotherapy is mostly just talking, and telling your truth. You are only as sick as your secrets.
go to meetings here. They are a great resource, they are accessible, they are here every day and they are full of people who have been there and done that. I am sure you will get to meet many many peope who can tell you how they got through.
I have a sponsor I went through quite a few sponsors. Now I have a new one. I picked someone and they have worked out for me. I am not as "needy" as I once was so this particular arrangement worked out for me. Many of us have more than one sponsor. We don't all have sponsors who last us a lifetime.
Thanks for the courgeous post! It takes that kind of courage to also pick a sponsor. Trust comes somewhere along the line after practice. By the way you can also fire a sponsor that doesn't help you grow too.
