Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

shellyj123 · shellyj123

EXABF emailed last night to tell me he hasn't been in touch because he has been inside his head again-thinking about us and how he knows he is not ready to move ahead with us right now. He mentioned how we discussed dating other people, but feels he would hurt me if he did, but he is hurting too. Feels like h...

ellens93 · ellens93

hi everyone. i'm new here, please bear with me. after a 2 year dysfunctional relationship with my alcoholic boyfriend, i finally moved out. i've never moved out of somewhere so fast in my life. my ABF was of course intriguing and adventurous at first, then i started to realize he had a problem. he al...

luvinmom · luvinmom

I cannot belive how this program is changing my perception. Here's the deal, was studying about step 3 "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a HP". I was really having a hard time accepting that. At first glance it seemed to fly in the face over everything I had been...

Ash · Ash

Thanks for all the responses and support. I am currently in the middle of taking inventory, so i feel really vulnerable and highly sensitive. I obviously have many resentments. I feel tense, with an occasional lump in my throat and a big ball of pain in my gut. I am having trouble staying focused on anyt...

sadako · sadako

(i chose the "heart" icon for this topic because i re-read my title and realized i'm loving myself *boggle*) i titled this "futureS" because it seems like so many paths are open before me at the moment, and anything could happen. *i'm preparing to tell my A boyfriend to leave, pe...

Trinia2 · Trinia2

We are in the middle of a snowstorm and I just got a call from my AS that he was at the hospital and they were about to call police if I didn't pick him up. He was found unconscious in a hotel last night and management sent him to the hospital by ambulance. He had alcohol poisoning and they gave him charcoal. Th...

kbrixham · kbrixham

Good Morning, I am wondering if someone might be available to discuss with me steps 4 and 5. I am in limbo for a sponsor...we have moved and am still searching for someone. In the meantime I just wanted to get some insight and suggestions from someone that has done this. I have done it however not comple...

Chetch · Chetch

Hi All, I haven't been on in a while, as things were better for a while. My AH has begun to drink VERY Heavily again. He's now buying Vodka by the case now and keeps it in the trunk of his car (which is in my name) and the key in his pocket, as he is afraid I will dump his booze down the sink. The last couple of wee...

Suzannah · Suzannah

...how many times can a person be beaten up, left without any sort of dignity, painfully drag oneself back to the safety of their own personal hiding place without sustaining permanent damage? Sometimes it takes all my strength to sort believing in myself after one of these episodes, and quite hones...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Spoke with ExABF last night again. Since we spilt up, well since the beginning of the year, he usually calls every night. We laugh and joke now and for the most part there is a pleasant calmness that is with us as I work my program and see the light more and more. However he says things sometimes that real...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

What serenity means to me...it means I'm in a state of mind that allows me to be free of the hurt, anger and resentments that could so easily comsume my every moment. I have one very bad habit that lerks daily to steal that peace of mind. I have a tendancy to resight back over and over in my head my disappoi...

Robinks · Robinks

thanks again for talking to me, I feel much better !!!!

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Starting to feel-today-like I need to learn how to and put into practice, setting boundaries in my life from work to personal.....but not really sure how or where to begin. After years of being a doormat and saying Yes when I really wanted to say No, I'm not sure how one begins this process, the most e...

atwitsend · atwitsend

Hi, I am currently trying to get up enough nerve to attend my first Alanon meeting. I think the hardest thing is the realization that nothing has changed or will change in my life with my AH unless I take the first step. Please tell me again all the benefits of Alanon. I need a push to actually take the fi...

debilyn · debilyn

I have moved into my main house. Money is squeaky, i s all in hp hands sorry gloves on have not moved computer over yet. cold in here. soooo nice in my house. so blessed. got a beautiful leather couch from a nice family who had to sell or give away their passed on family member. You want to just go to sleep. I...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), Just a gentle reminder about the freezing cold weather. Here in the northeast we are at a balmy -3 degrees below zero. That is the predicted high for today. Please check on your neighbors that are elderly or might be sick. If you are having problems with your heating, please don...

missing out · missing out

Well... I have been taking the advise of many, Not so much advise but views and experiences.. Too which I am Very Grateful for... My younger Brother is an A, and as I have told before, I have been working on giving him his strength back.. Giving him things to be responsible for, well... A month ago, he woul...

luvinmom · luvinmom

My alcoholic son is in a 3/4 house for probation violation. This follows his admission that he has a drinking problem, and inpatient treatment, and I think its good that he is there. Boundries I can set, like not canceling our plans to run up with there with clothes. He called for the second time sinc...

kbrixham · kbrixham

Good Morning! I feel so relieved that I am beginning to come to these on line events more often. Because of scheduling I simply cannot get to all of the face to face meetings that I would like to...and frankly I have found wonderful support and help right here! My most recent dilemma is that I have this b...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I met this guy in an online dating site. He's an alcoholic. He really likes me, I can tell. Every time I talk to him he's drunk or on his way there. I don't know if he knows he's an A or not and I keep him at a very long arm's length. He would be a great guy other than the drinking but as we all know, everythin...

missing out · missing out

Ok... Well Last night I hit a meeting and while there, I realized that I am not always on target with what they choose to chat about... As I said, I am new to it all, but I do so enjoy going, and hearing the shares, however there are times that i sit there think, that I may not need it as much as the next person, bu...

Rakenjake · Rakenjake

So I wanted to write and let people know that there is a light. A year ago my AH stopped drinking. He had relapsed after detox but it was his own choice to get sober and through the grace of God he has. 1 year later he's still active in his sobreity, going to 5-9 meetings a week, working two jobs and working...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Just for today I am trying hard to LET GO and LET GOD for I am not able to do the things He can do. Just for today I am taking one breath at a time and exhaling the stress with it. Just for today I need to keep saying that Serenity Prayer until I feel that Serenity in every fibre of my body. And yet I am crying out fo...

Jen · Jen

I started to write in response to Rakenjake, but then thought she had a god idea so here's my success story... My AH is also sober, 16 months now. But he did that himself. My success is working this program and getting to my meetings regardless of what he did even when I wasn't sure he would live to make...

Diva · Diva

This afternoon every passenger on the airbus that ditched on the Hudson River is alive and unhurt. Thanks to the pilots and crew, the engineering team that designed this aircraft not to break apart easily, and those unsuspecting "rescuers" on the water who helped everyone to safety...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear all, Am in London doing some research, did not get much done though, recovered from flu last week. I got all my bereaved step mother's clothes together last week and donated them to charity. I know it was not my job but the clothes were rotting in a damp cottage and she had nice clothes, so I got them d...

maresie · maresie

As you all know Christmas and Thanksgiving were hard going for me. Living around addicts (as I do) is hard going. I'm no better at it now than I was when I first got here. All that's changed is that I stopped trying to cure them and stopped wishing they were anything but what they are. I guess that is a se...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Is there someplace my A Hubby and I can go to that is "recovery" oriented? Like and AA/Alanon Spa Weekend or something. Something where we can get away together as a couple and focus on "recovery together" and not just vacation and forget about it? I am SO open to suggesions. ...

Lanchas · Lanchas

Hey all, The teen room and board really needs some support. Teens have stopped posting and when they come to the chat room even at scheduled meeting times no one is there for them. A teen recently posted and asked where they should go since the place seems dead due to no one posting. The teens need help I ...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I genuinely believed that for years while married to my exh, abusive A......For years after we split and to this day I have always said it is better to be alone than to wish you were. For years while married to him I wished sooo many times that I was just alone. Now here I am tonight~lonely. ExABF and...

Ash · Ash

i am going to go out on a limb here and turn over the guilt i have in detaching. Had a fight with AH this morning and am currently obsessing. i believe God's will is to focus on the work in front of me. I was over sensitive and mean and sent him an email apologizing for that. I was accused of arguing when i felt...

Rora · Rora

Today my aH wanted to tangle, not to be confused with Tango, which would have been interesting as well, but on a whole other level. aH in all his unstabilities allowed me many opportunities to enter into irrational, meaningless, fruitless battles with him, over a multitude of issues. Not once did I....

belle1 · belle1

Home at last still lil groggy ttyl hugs belle

maresie · maresie

I have not now spoken to the ex A in one year. He still calls. I am realizing now he calls because he just sees me as another person who he can "con" for some money or whatever to buy drugs. I am just one more on the list. I used to think that he was interested in how the dogs were. I also used to thi...

ruejacobs · ruejacobs

well, since my son, Gnu, is under Baker-Act in the hospital...again, the poor unsuspecting social worker called me to interview me...again. i got a little snippy (honey, i can do that.) and said, "oh. you guys again. i don't want to talk to him, please. don't put the demon on." just to be sur...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), Good morning to all from snowy New England. I received my daily reading from Hazelden. It's about going with the flow. I will give you a few lines, but for the full reading please visit their website. Sign up for their daily readings if you like. This one is from Melodie Beattie'...

Suzannah · Suzannah

...I am blessed with the ability to visual healing taking place once I am in harmony with my God (HP) and He can take me anywhere I like when I rest in His presence. This is something that I have not done for sometime and it was my Sponsor that reminded me of this wonderful ability. I took up the "healin...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I have been in program for awhile now and most days, anymore, are wonderful and even when not I realize I will never have another day that is EXACTLY the same, so I can work through it. Today I feel that old familiar anxiety rearing it's ugly head.....I'm a single mom, have been for pretty much my 11 1/...

kitty · kitty

this is from a file that I keep, hopefully they will help you too (I was urged to share this). teh format is a lil jumbled but you'll get the jist. LET GO & LET GOD ATTEND TO THE DIVINE PLANThank You God for reminding me not to interfere with your Divine Plan LET HIS NAME BE ERASED ~ JEWISH PRAYER TO RELE...

glad · glad

My A tries to act like he knows he should all the time when he's in the mood for sexy time then the very second it's over goes back into 100 percent withdrawl- I'm sick of the back and forth sick of the 10 days to 2 weeks it takes him to even give a rats behind. Sick of the fact that even if he is wanting sex if I even...

John · John

After finding out that someone had posted a rather nasty message on this board regarding our groups registration with the World Service Office, which was removed by a board moderator, I wrote the following email and decided it might be best if posted here as well for every one to read. ************ N...

Codependent · Codependent

Not a lot more to say right now. Just trying to detach, detach, detach.

cajo67 · cajo67

Good Morning, I do not have the above book. Last night in my meeting someone read page 100 and it was exactly what I needed. It spoke about the thorns and rosebud. I came home and ordered the book was was wondering if anyone could take a moment to type that page out as I have to wait until next week to recei...

Robinks · Robinks

I bought myself some nice new house shoes, with memory foam, it's like walking on air. I am going to exercise, walk for one hour. I am going to a meeting to start going back to school so I can get a better paying job !!! What are you doing for yourself today?

buick23 · buick23

Even though it has been rough here lately with preparing for court and all, and the day we went to court was one of the most scarey days in my life, it is over now. My daughter and I are closer now since court is over and we have talked, she finally opened up to me about what has been bothering her and her concer...

louise13 · louise13

so far, i have only mentioned that my husband is addicted to pot. well i also have an alcoholic for a brother and he too is addicted to pot. my paternal grandfather was an alcoholic and died at 39. my brother doesnt live near me and im visiting him on my holiday. he is in his early 50's, divorced with 2 childr...

MichelleD · MichelleD

I'm really upset with myself that I put myself into a relationship with a drinker after what I went through with my ex-husband 10 years ago. Being the queen of justification I convinced myself the he isn't as bad as my ex and that considering my history of being an adult child I'm completely hopeless in...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Thought it might be neat if we all posted our favorite quote(s) or slogan(s)......something we use to keep us on track. I'm a VERY forgetful person, and can't remember what I usually ate last, but some of the slogans and quotes here are great, and they stick in my head and come back when I need the...

pattiec · pattiec

Has anyone had the experience of knowing someone who fully understands his disease and yet will not, without any reasoning, stop his drinking? Hello, I am pattiec and I am going to discuss my feelings about my brother's disease of alcoholism. I know why my brother drinks. It is because he is depres...

louise13 · louise13

today he went to bed without getting stoned. with the strenght that im gaining i have told him that its no longer acceptable to smoke drugs in or around the home and i feel great. i know that the road ahead is long and there will bad days but i now know with certain clarity that i have strength, when it comes t...

hope for me n you · hope for me n you

well i just posted this morning on how i used to think if my a and i were separated he would basically run out and begin to share the gifts we receive with others and basically spread serenity wherever he goes .. this was my insanity .. for him to suddenly become sane because why ? i was making him insane ?? th...

Codependent · Codependent

Talked to his mom today. She is torn- well, after talking to me she is torn. I think her original plan was to bond him out as he had asked and then go get him tonight. I do realize that I do not walk in her shoes, but did give my opinion since she asked and told her I didn't believe that bailing him out was necc h...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone I havent visited the site for a while computer probs and been really busy working on me. I have been attending f2f meetings sometimes more than once a week, reading lots and lots of alanon literature and been soaking up tools from my sponsor. Slowely but surely I have realised just how pow...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My AS will not work, won't or can't get up in time to go to a job. He calls me everyday for money, tells me if he doesn't get any money from me he will go hungry. I know I should not give him the money, but I am afraid he will go without food. My friend says that I should not be afraid to let him go without, and that h...

masspedirn · masspedirn

Hello everyone, I have been lingering in the shadows here, reading posts and commenting when something hits home or I need to vent. I wanted to share with whoever is in a similar situation, that not only does the program work if you keep at it, but stopping the enabling behaviors really do help those we...

maresie · maresie

One thing I am super clear on going into this year is that I am no longer willing to on any level give my power away to another person and let my life go under again. I will be years making it back to beyond survival. For me that will mean that I really have to look at teh whole way I give myself away to others. I...

louise13 · louise13

Hi This is my first time and im desperate. I have been with my husband for 17years and married for 11. We have 2 beautiful children together. I dont want to leave him because I love him but I dont want this life for myself and our kids. He has smoked pot the whole time we have been together and in the beginning...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, he called today from jail and I went ahead and answered it. Had this vivid dream about him last night and was actually reading posts when he called. Anyway, I told him that I had quit drinking- which he already knew- his mom had told him. He told me he thought that was a good decision, etc. Part of th...

glad · glad

When you are bored or lonely and just feel like fighting with them to get some kind of "live" response. When you just feel disappointed that there isn't normal conversation and "normal" stuff in your life. Besides read alanon lit. call sponsor etc. What are some fun things you g...

3boysandonegirl · 3boysandonegirl

I just wanted to let everyone know that I finally attended my first meeting. There was nothing magical or exciting about it initally, just average people like myself - but as the meeting progressed I was so glad that I came and can't wait to get back. I was so very encouraged by the strong women and me...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	And the saga continues.........Walking away a winner?????? (Preview) EXABF emailed last night to tell me he hasn't been in touch because he has been inside his head again-thinking about us and how he knows he is not ready to move ahead with us right now. He mentioned how we discussed dating other people, but feels he would hurt me if he did, but he is hurting too. Feels like h...	shellyj123	7	526	Jan 21, 2009 by Jerry F
	Finally left my ABF, but feeling empty and isolated (Preview) hi everyone. i'm new here, please bear with me. after a 2 year dysfunctional relationship with my alcoholic boyfriend, i finally moved out. i've never moved out of somewhere so fast in my life. my ABF was of course intriguing and adventurous at first, then i started to realize he had a problem. he al...	ellens93	5	581	Jan 20, 2009 by ellens93
	Step 3 Bolt of Lightening (Preview) I cannot belive how this program is changing my perception. Here's the deal, was studying about step 3 "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a HP". I was really having a hard time accepting that. At first glance it seemed to fly in the face over everything I had been...	luvinmom	5	448	Jan 20, 2009 by missing out
	4th Step Question (Preview) Thanks for all the responses and support. I am currently in the middle of taking inventory, so i feel really vulnerable and highly sensitive. I obviously have many resentments. I feel tense, with an occasional lump in my throat and a big ball of pain in my gut. I am having trouble staying focused on anyt...	Ash	6	2851	Jan 20, 2009 by barisax
	telling him to leave (Preview) (i chose the "heart" icon for this topic because i re-read my title and realized i'm loving myself boggle) i titled this "futureS" because it seems like so many paths are open before me at the moment, and anything could happen. *i'm preparing to tell my A boyfriend to leave, pe...	sadako	6	588	Jan 20, 2009 by maresie
	Must Stop Enabling (Preview) We are in the middle of a snowstorm and I just got a call from my AS that he was at the hospital and they were about to call police if I didn't pick him up. He was found unconscious in a hotel last night and management sent him to the hospital by ambulance. He had alcohol poisoning and they gave him charcoal. Th...	Trinia2	7	674	Jan 20, 2009 by maresie
	Step 4 and Step 5 (Preview) Good Morning, I am wondering if someone might be available to discuss with me steps 4 and 5. I am in limbo for a sponsor...we have moved and am still searching for someone. In the meantime I just wanted to get some insight and suggestions from someone that has done this. I have done it however not comple...	kbrixham	2	486	Jan 20, 2009 by maresie
	I'm afraid my AH is drinking himself to death (Preview) Hi All, I haven't been on in a while, as things were better for a while. My AH has begun to drink VERY Heavily again. He's now buying Vodka by the case now and keeps it in the trunk of his car (which is in my name) and the key in his pocket, as he is afraid I will dump his booze down the sink. The last couple of wee...	Chetch	6	685	Jan 20, 2009 by maresie
	Dragging myself to safety... (Preview) ...how many times can a person be beaten up, left without any sort of dignity, painfully drag oneself back to the safety of their own personal hiding place without sustaining permanent damage? Sometimes it takes all my strength to sort believing in myself after one of these episodes, and quite hones...	Suzannah	5	628	Jan 20, 2009 by maresie
	Feeling that old numbness/anger taking over today~~~~vent (Preview) Spoke with ExABF last night again. Since we spilt up, well since the beginning of the year, he usually calls every night. We laugh and joke now and for the most part there is a pleasant calmness that is with us as I work my program and see the light more and more. However he says things sometimes that real...	shellyj123	5	490	Jan 20, 2009 by maresie
	What Serenity means to me, Fighting low self esteem, One Day At A Time. (Preview) What serenity means to me...it means I'm in a state of mind that allows me to be free of the hurt, anger and resentments that could so easily comsume my every moment. I have one very bad habit that lerks daily to steal that peace of mind. I have a tendancy to resight back over and over in my head my disappoi...	Peggy7	3	683	Jan 20, 2009 by maresie
	Shadow (Preview) thanks again for talking to me, I feel much better !!!!	Robinks	2	425	Jan 20, 2009 by Robinks
	Tools/Tips for setting boundaries????? (Preview) Starting to feel-today-like I need to learn how to and put into practice, setting boundaries in my life from work to personal.....but not really sure how or where to begin. After years of being a doormat and saying Yes when I really wanted to say No, I'm not sure how one begins this process, the most e...	shellyj123	5	2013	Jan 19, 2009 by luvinmom
	Courage to attend first Alanon meeting (Preview) Hi, I am currently trying to get up enough nerve to attend my first Alanon meeting. I think the hardest thing is the realization that nothing has changed or will change in my life with my AH unless I take the first step. Please tell me again all the benefits of Alanon. I need a push to actually take the fi...	atwitsend	11	748	Jan 19, 2009 by Sis63
	I moved (Preview) I have moved into my main house. Money is squeaky, i s all in hp hands sorry gloves on have not moved computer over yet. cold in here. soooo nice in my house. so blessed. got a beautiful leather couch from a nice family who had to sell or give away their passed on family member. You want to just go to sleep. I...	debilyn	7	690	Jan 18, 2009 by nmike
	Cold weather reminder. (Preview) (((((Family))))), Just a gentle reminder about the freezing cold weather. Here in the northeast we are at a balmy -3 degrees below zero. That is the predicted high for today. Please check on your neighbors that are elderly or might be sick. If you are having problems with your heating, please don...	Karilynn	6	679	Jan 18, 2009 by nmike
	Another Good Day with my A Brother... (Preview) Well... I have been taking the advise of many, Not so much advise but views and experiences.. Too which I am Very Grateful for... My younger Brother is an A, and as I have told before, I have been working on giving him his strength back.. Giving him things to be responsible for, well... A month ago, he woul...	missing out	2	342	Jan 18, 2009 by shellyj123
	Momma Bear (Preview) My alcoholic son is in a 3/4 house for probation violation. This follows his admission that he has a drinking problem, and inpatient treatment, and I think its good that he is there. Boundries I can set, like not canceling our plans to run up with there with clothes. He called for the second time sinc...	luvinmom	0	395	Jan 18, 2009 by luvinmom
	Grateful for these message boards and the people! (Preview) Good Morning! I feel so relieved that I am beginning to come to these on line events more often. Because of scheduling I simply cannot get to all of the face to face meetings that I would like to...and frankly I have found wonderful support and help right here! My most recent dilemma is that I have this b...	kbrixham	1	317	Jan 18, 2009 by missing out
	dabbling (Preview) I met this guy in an online dating site. He's an alcoholic. He really likes me, I can tell. Every time I talk to him he's drunk or on his way there. I don't know if he knows he's an A or not and I keep him at a very long arm's length. He would be a great guy other than the drinking but as we all know, everythin...	carolinagirl	5	437	Jan 18, 2009 by Karilynn
	Should I? Shouldn't I? Were am I headed? (Preview) Ok... Well Last night I hit a meeting and while there, I realized that I am not always on target with what they choose to chat about... As I said, I am new to it all, but I do so enjoy going, and hearing the shares, however there are times that i sit there think, that I may not need it as much as the next person, bu...	missing out	8	563	Jan 18, 2009 by missing out
	1 year sober (Preview) So I wanted to write and let people know that there is a light. A year ago my AH stopped drinking. He had relapsed after detox but it was his own choice to get sober and through the grace of God he has. 1 year later he's still active in his sobreity, going to 5-9 meetings a week, working two jobs and working...	Rakenjake	10	649	Jan 17, 2009 by Rakenjake
	Just for today... (Preview) Just for today I am trying hard to LET GO and LET GOD for I am not able to do the things He can do. Just for today I am taking one breath at a time and exhaling the stress with it. Just for today I need to keep saying that Serenity Prayer until I feel that Serenity in every fibre of my body. And yet I am crying out fo...	Suzannah	2	549	Jan 17, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	Sharing the hope (Preview) I started to write in response to Rakenjake, but then thought she had a god idea so here's my success story... My AH is also sober, 16 months now. But he did that himself. My success is working this program and getting to my meetings regardless of what he did even when I wasn't sure he would live to make...	Jen	5	523	Jan 17, 2009 by Jen
	Thankful for a miracle of another kind. (Preview) This afternoon every passenger on the airbus that ditched on the Hudson River is alive and unhurt. Thanks to the pilots and crew, the engineering team that designed this aircraft not to break apart easily, and those unsuspecting "rescuers" on the water who helped everyone to safety...	Diva	10	532	Jan 17, 2009 by missing out
	Choices and update (Preview) Dear all, Am in London doing some research, did not get much done though, recovered from flu last week. I got all my bereaved step mother's clothes together last week and donated them to charity. I know it was not my job but the clothes were rotting in a damp cottage and she had nice clothes, so I got them d...	maire rua	5	461	Jan 16, 2009 by Jerry F
	balance (Preview) As you all know Christmas and Thanksgiving were hard going for me. Living around addicts (as I do) is hard going. I'm no better at it now than I was when I first got here. All that's changed is that I stopped trying to cure them and stopped wishing they were anything but what they are. I guess that is a se...	maresie	2	562	Jan 16, 2009 by Jerry F
	Vacation? (Preview) Is there someplace my A Hubby and I can go to that is "recovery" oriented? Like and AA/Alanon Spa Weekend or something. Something where we can get away together as a couple and focus on "recovery together" and not just vacation and forget about it? I am SO open to suggesions. ...	Sincerely	4	657	Jan 16, 2009 by Sincerely
	help is needed for the teen board and teen chat room (Preview) Hey all, The teen room and board really needs some support. Teens have stopped posting and when they come to the chat room even at scheduled meeting times no one is there for them. A teen recently posted and asked where they should go since the place seems dead due to no one posting. The teens need help I ...	Lanchas	5	484	Jan 16, 2009 by Lanchas
	It's better to be alone that to wish you were???? What do you do? (Preview) I genuinely believed that for years while married to my exh, abusive A......For years after we split and to this day I have always said it is better to be alone than to wish you were. For years while married to him I wished sooo many times that I was just alone. Now here I am tonight~lonely. ExABF and...	shellyj123	6	580	Jan 16, 2009 by maresie
	Guilt of detaching (Preview) i am going to go out on a limb here and turn over the guilt i have in detaching. Had a fight with AH this morning and am currently obsessing. i believe God's will is to focus on the work in front of me. I was over sensitive and mean and sent him an email apologizing for that. I was accused of arguing when i felt...	Ash	7	1609	Jan 16, 2009 by Ash
	A clearer day for me...wow (Preview) Today my aH wanted to tangle, not to be confused with Tango, which would have been interesting as well, but on a whole other level. aH in all his unstabilities allowed me many opportunities to enter into irrational, meaningless, fruitless battles with him, over a multitude of issues. Not once did I....	Rora	6	658	Jan 16, 2009 by Karilynn
	HOME (Preview) Home at last still lil groggy ttyl hugs belle	belle1	3	439	Jan 16, 2009 by Karilynn
	losing an active A (Preview) I have not now spoken to the ex A in one year. He still calls. I am realizing now he calls because he just sees me as another person who he can "con" for some money or whatever to buy drugs. I am just one more on the list. I used to think that he was interested in how the dogs were. I also used to thi...	maresie	7	645	Jan 16, 2009 by maire rua
	another vent/rant... (Preview) well, since my son, Gnu, is under Baker-Act in the hospital...again, the poor unsuspecting social worker called me to interview me...again. i got a little snippy (honey, i can do that.) and said, "oh. you guys again. i don't want to talk to him, please. don't put the demon on." just to be sur...	ruejacobs	9	523	Jan 16, 2009 by ruejacobs
	Today's reading (Preview) (((((Family)))), Good morning to all from snowy New England. I received my daily reading from Hazelden. It's about going with the flow. I will give you a few lines, but for the full reading please visit their website. Sign up for their daily readings if you like. This one is from Melodie Beattie'...	Karilynn	4	2316	Jan 15, 2009 by whitie
	Want to escape and rise above the depression.... (Preview) ...I am blessed with the ability to visual healing taking place once I am in harmony with my God (HP) and He can take me anywhere I like when I rest in His presence. This is something that I have not done for sometime and it was my Sponsor that reminded me of this wonderful ability. I took up the "healin...	Suzannah	6	559	Jan 15, 2009 by Jen
	Single mom feeling a bit overwelmed... (Preview) I have been in program for awhile now and most days, anymore, are wonderful and even when not I realize I will never have another day that is EXACTLY the same, so I can work through it. Today I feel that old familiar anxiety rearing it's ugly head.....I'm a single mom, have been for pretty much my 11 1/...	shellyj123	5	569	Jan 15, 2009 by Rora
	sharing some of my program GEMS (Preview) this is from a file that I keep, hopefully they will help you too (I was urged to share this). teh format is a lil jumbled but you'll get the jist. LET GO & LET GOD ATTEND TO THE DIVINE PLANThank You God for reminding me not to interfere with your Divine Plan LET HIS NAME BE ERASED ~ JEWISH PRAYER TO RELE...	kitty	8	576	Jan 15, 2009 by maresie
	sexy time!!! (Preview) My A tries to act like he knows he should all the time when he's in the mood for sexy time then the very second it's over goes back into 100 percent withdrawl- I'm sick of the back and forth sick of the 10 days to 2 weeks it takes him to even give a rats behind. Sick of the fact that even if he is wanting sex if I even...	glad	4	746	Jan 15, 2009 by Sincerely
	Regarding Group Registration at WSO (Preview) After finding out that someone had posted a rather nasty message on this board regarding our groups registration with the World Service Office, which was removed by a board moderator, I wrote the following email and decided it might be best if posted here as well for every one to read. ************ N...	John	3	1658	Jan 15, 2009 by tommyecat
	Well, she bailed him out. (Preview) Not a lot more to say right now. Just trying to detach, detach, detach.	Codependent	4	596	Jan 15, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Pg 100 of One Day at a Time in Alanon (Preview) Good Morning, I do not have the above book. Last night in my meeting someone read page 100 and it was exactly what I needed. It spoke about the thorns and rosebud. I came home and ordered the book was was wondering if anyone could take a moment to type that page out as I have to wait until next week to recei...	cajo67	4	4327	Jan 15, 2009 by Jean4444
	What am I doing for me today? (Preview) I bought myself some nice new house shoes, with memory foam, it's like walking on air. I am going to exercise, walk for one hour. I am going to a meeting to start going back to school so I can get a better paying job !!! What are you doing for yourself today?	Robinks	9	597	Jan 15, 2009 by jizimo
	better relationship with daughter (Preview) Even though it has been rough here lately with preparing for court and all, and the day we went to court was one of the most scarey days in my life, it is over now. My daughter and I are closer now since court is over and we have talked, she finally opened up to me about what has been bothering her and her concer...	buick23	2	462	Jan 14, 2009 by kitty
	visiting alcoholic brother - what can i say??? (Preview) so far, i have only mentioned that my husband is addicted to pot. well i also have an alcoholic for a brother and he too is addicted to pot. my paternal grandfather was an alcoholic and died at 39. my brother doesnt live near me and im visiting him on my holiday. he is in his early 50's, divorced with 2 childr...	louise13	3	924	Jan 14, 2009 by Jerry F
	Why did I let myself go here again? (Preview) I'm really upset with myself that I put myself into a relationship with a drinker after what I went through with my ex-husband 10 years ago. Being the queen of justification I convinced myself the he isn't as bad as my ex and that considering my history of being an adult child I'm completely hopeless in...	MichelleD	8	748	Jan 14, 2009 by hope for me n you
	Favorite Quotes/Slogans......Please share (Preview) Thought it might be neat if we all posted our favorite quote(s) or slogan(s)......something we use to keep us on track. I'm a VERY forgetful person, and can't remember what I usually ate last, but some of the slogans and quotes here are great, and they stick in my head and come back when I need the...	shellyj123	17	2962	Jan 14, 2009 by tommyecat
	Accepting Alcoholism without trying to change it or the person (Preview) Has anyone had the experience of knowing someone who fully understands his disease and yet will not, without any reasoning, stop his drinking? Hello, I am pattiec and I am going to discuss my feelings about my brother's disease of alcoholism. I know why my brother drinks. It is because he is depres...	pattiec	5	1355	Jan 13, 2009 by hotrod
	a good day (Preview) today he went to bed without getting stoned. with the strenght that im gaining i have told him that its no longer acceptable to smoke drugs in or around the home and i feel great. i know that the road ahead is long and there will bad days but i now know with certain clarity that i have strength, when it comes t...	louise13	0	331	Jan 13, 2009 by louise13
	My daughter's dad is going to prison (Preview) well i just posted this morning on how i used to think if my a and i were separated he would basically run out and begin to share the gifts we receive with others and basically spread serenity wherever he goes .. this was my insanity .. for him to suddenly become sane because why ? i was making him insane ?? th...	hope for me n you	3	489	Jan 13, 2009 by cdb19
	His mom...bailing him out (Preview) Talked to his mom today. She is torn- well, after talking to me she is torn. I think her original plan was to bond him out as he had asked and then go get him tonight. I do realize that I do not walk in her shoes, but did give my opinion since she asked and told her I didn't believe that bailing him out was necc h...	Codependent	3	617	Jan 13, 2009 by cdb19
	up date (Preview) Hi everyone I havent visited the site for a while computer probs and been really busy working on me. I have been attending f2f meetings sometimes more than once a week, reading lots and lots of alanon literature and been soaking up tools from my sponsor. Slowely but surely I have realised just how pow...	Tracy	4	491	Jan 12, 2009 by Jerry F
	What Am I Afraid Of??? (Preview) My AS will not work, won't or can't get up in time to go to a job. He calls me everyday for money, tells me if he doesn't get any money from me he will go hungry. I know I should not give him the money, but I am afraid he will go without food. My friend says that I should not be afraid to let him go without, and that h...	DreamsOver	9	617	Jan 12, 2009 by Jerry F
	Stopping the enabling is sooo hard, but in the end it is sooo worth it (Preview) Hello everyone, I have been lingering in the shadows here, reading posts and commenting when something hits home or I need to vent. I wanted to share with whoever is in a similar situation, that not only does the program work if you keep at it, but stopping the enabling behaviors really do help those we...	masspedirn	2	592	Jan 12, 2009 by Marshmallow
	from fearful supergluedness to adamant independence (Preview) One thing I am super clear on going into this year is that I am no longer willing to on any level give my power away to another person and let my life go under again. I will be years making it back to beyond survival. For me that will mean that I really have to look at teh whole way I give myself away to others. I...	maresie	6	631	Jan 12, 2009 by maresie
	my husband is a pot addict (Preview) Hi This is my first time and im desperate. I have been with my husband for 17years and married for 11. We have 2 beautiful children together. I dont want to leave him because I love him but I dont want this life for myself and our kids. He has smoked pot the whole time we have been together and in the beginning...	louise13	10	1490	Jan 12, 2009 by maresie
	I answered the phone (Preview) Well, he called today from jail and I went ahead and answered it. Had this vivid dream about him last night and was actually reading posts when he called. Anyway, I told him that I had quit drinking- which he already knew- his mom had told him. He told me he thought that was a good decision, etc. Part of th...	Codependent	5	448	Jan 12, 2009 by maresie
	What do you do? (Preview) When you are bored or lonely and just feel like fighting with them to get some kind of "live" response. When you just feel disappointed that there isn't normal conversation and "normal" stuff in your life. Besides read alanon lit. call sponsor etc. What are some fun things you g...	glad	5	606	Jan 12, 2009 by maresie
	my first f2f meeting (Preview) I just wanted to let everyone know that I finally attended my first meeting. There was nothing magical or exciting about it initally, just average people like myself - but as the meeting progressed I was so glad that I came and can't wait to get back. I was so very encouraged by the strong women and me...	3boysandonegirl	5	362	Jan 12, 2009 by canadianguy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.