The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My A tries to act like he knows he should all the time when he's in the mood for sexy time then the very second it's over goes back into 100 percent withdrawl- I'm sick of the back and forth sick of the 10 days to 2 weeks it takes him to even give a rats behind. Sick of the fact that even if he is wanting sex if I even so much as bring up a topic he isn't comfortable with life sucks I hate him tonight and this is the first time I have ever ever even thought that really!! First time in five years I can say I hate him.
glad, I'm probably not the one to offer an opinion, but I would guess it is the same thing we all deal with "alcoholism". The disease is selfish,inconsiderate,and always in control of our A,s, never gives up or lets up. I realize and accept I am #2, can never be #1 with my AW, but I still don't have to like it, and I dang well don't.
Sugestion: Say the Serenity Prayer over and over a few times. It always helps me.
I certainly went through the same thing, as my ex-AW would want to have sex only when she was plastered..... Afterwards, it felt demeaning and empty for me, so I made a boundary - for me - that I would not have sex when she was drunk.....
I think it's all part of the process of growth & recovery for you, and you're asking yourself more & more - is this enough for me??
Take care Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Sorry you have a case of the BADs!!! This might help you and might not. It did me. I don't like the power of the feeling that it had over me. I don't like not having control soooo. I arrived at I hate (the thing) not the person. This way I don't go thru the guilt and shame of being hateful and its allowable for me to express my strong feels about things I perceive are happening to me regardless of who I am holding responsible for it. (Blaming them and me). It worked for me. (((((hugs)))))
oh! I hate "the thing" too! I really "hate" it! and now thinking about it, i should take the energy i have been spending on hating it and put it on something positive. sincerely, tonya
