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I feel so relieved that I am beginning to come to these on line events more often. Because of scheduling I simply cannot get to all of the face to face meetings that I would like to...and frankly I have found wonderful support and help right here! My most recent dilemma is that I have this beautiful 4 year old son and he is such a sweet spirit...and an only child. When we play with other children he almost always cries at some point. He often times says, they hit me or pushed me...sometimes it is true and sometimes he brought it on by himself initiating the hitting or pushing. He is not in general an aggressive kid. These are not behaviors that happen at preschool...his teachers would say he is not aggressive. It occurs in general play...maybe more with boys. My problem...I wish instead of withdrawing and crying he would stand up to the kid and tell him to stop or push him back. I worry a little because I don't want him to be pushed around. These kids are about the same size. So, the obsessing starts and I think I should put him in Karate or Boxing or teach him myself...and the bigger question is how do I help him in the meantime. When kids know there is one they can dominate/make cry he can become the common target. I wish my son would get mad...instead he says it hurts his feelings and is sad! I tell him they aren't really trying to hurt his feelings that they just want to show their power/that they are the king of the hill. Well anyway just curious for some answers. I am a single female parent and he doesn't have male role models and so I think they may also be why he is sensitive. Again thank you all for the support in the past it has made a positive impact on me.
((((KBRIXHAM)))) Ok well, I too have and sometimes AM where you are, my son is now 11 and he too, wore his heart on his sleeve, and he still has his moments... My doc told me that is his spirit... He is very loving and sensitive, but he has always had aproblem with Bully's because he would rather make kids laugh, then make them upset.. That is his guard against it all...I have try'ed over the years to get him to be more agrresive, however he is NOT that kid... I never got it, because in school I was ALways on guard to protect myself, (coming from a family of alcohoics) so to have a son that is Super Sensitive I never got it... This year he started Middle school and my heart just hurt... Plain and simple, because I thought...WOW here we go again, but now he is seeing the good and bad in people, and he is noticing how to stand on his own... I know that your son is only 4, but let him become who he is... Don't push him to be a pushy kid, and trust me, when he gets sick of it, he will let them know...I didn't think it would ever come for my son, but with letting him become his own person, he is growing into a Very Caring, loving, all boy little man and I couldn't be prouder... Just keep talking out his feelings and don't dismiss what he tells you or he may quit, once he has it out, and has your veiws sooner or later he will put them together in his mind and work them out when he is ready... Also... Sports is a WONDERFUL thing to get him in, anything, baseball, wrestling, my sons really started to come around once he started Soccer...It gives them a place to go and be with kids his age, but mainly it teach's them to be a TEAM PLAYER and get along no matter what..But give him time to find the sport that "He" loves... I had mine in baseball for 6 years, but when he went to soccer, he really came out of his shell, it is more hands on, none stop, and he really figured out "Team power" So hang in there, and just be there when he comes to you and is upset, but let him work out when that time is... I use to jump up everytime he fell, and then I realized that he needs to have a second or two to respond to what just happened before he has mom in his face...Love does wierd things to moms but know that with you being a single mom, he needs you to support and love who he wants to be...You will be fine... Your already his hero, cause your mom...
Many Prayers and Much Love Missing out...
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Forgiveness- Isn't about forgettingwhat happened,its about Giving Up,All Hope,of a Better Past!
