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Whether or not to attend wedding with alcoholic fiance?
(Preview)
I've been a part of my community's Alanon program for about nine months now and it has done nothing short of transforming my outlook on life and my situation. It seems like there are some really seasoned and knoweldgeable Alanon-ers here so I was hoping to get some insight on this looming event that's...
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zhotdogs99
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9
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911
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what is good for me?
(Preview)
After my ABF's recent relapse I wanted space. He could see I was detaching and was scared. He tried to manipulate me again. He pushed and promised all the same old stuff. He is attending meetings and is trying to sort his life out. He has only been sober aweek I went shopping yesterday and got angrey...
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Tracy
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7
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815
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The Lois W movie
(Preview)
I have to say I really loved the movie. I watched it with my husband the first time and with my son and his friend the second time. The second time I noticed something that I did not agree with and I don't think Alanoners agree with in this day and age. When Lois was introduced to Dr Bob's wife and the men said...
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Gailey
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18
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4088
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Need Advice
(Preview)
I don't know if you remember my first post from last week. My boyfriend is and alcoholic, and I kicked him out about a month ago, as I don't want my daughter to have to deal with this, and frankly, I can't deal with it anymore, either, especially being the daughter of an alcoholic. Well, A boyfriend volunt...
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jettiesgirl
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5
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1013
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Here he goes again....
(Preview)
My ex moved to the same town the kids and I live in last summer. He's relapsed a few times since then, drinking in his rented room. He managed to land a job about six weeks ago, and is actually supposed to have insurance coverage through them starting today, covering all of us. In the past six years, h...
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lmw
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2
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744
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Cannot log into meeting
(Preview)
Hello I am having trouble logging into the online meetings - I keep getting errors can someone help - I didnt have this problem before Thanks
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LIGHTBULB
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2
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862
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May god grant us the serenity
(Preview)
Hello Friends, I am just wondering if all the bad luck ever ends....my son was involved in a car accident today....he seems to be ok just a concussion and bruised....however, he only had his car for about a month and it is totaled. I swear two steps forward and ten steps back.....my son has come such alo...
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Andrea12
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9
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596
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He's still in control!!!! (sorry-long)
(Preview)
Background: -I told my AH to leave 4 weeks ago. -He finally "got it" about 2 weeks ago and went to stay with at his parents camp. -This week he calls to tell me he is getting an apartment. When I agreed I think he was very surprised. -I have spent this week like a load has been removed from my shou...
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looking_for_peace
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7
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980
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MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING
(Preview)
I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled meeting Monday morning as I have tests at the hospital and will not be able to return home in time to chair. Hoping someone may be able to step up for me. Love in recovery, Shimo (aka Jeri)
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shimo
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1
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467
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Heartbreaking
(Preview)
Hi! I have just come back from a week-long conference. I had a brilliant time - took my son with me and he really relaxed for the 1st time in ages. He was issued with his own "guest" badge of which he was so proud. AH answered the phone to us twice a day (I had threatened to send the police round if...
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Tattyhead
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10
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882
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Give an inch and they take a mile...
(Preview)
In a previous post I stated that I talked to the A in regards to seeing his daughter... Per my PFA order he is to get supervised visitation and give me $150 in child support.. When I came home I noticed he didn't leave me anything so I questioned him about this and he stated that he could only give me $75...
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Hopeless
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5
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768
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That whole dog ordeal
(Preview)
Last time I posted I explained how my Ahusband(we're aeparated) was moving and buying my dream dog just to manipulate me. Well, he called and told me he was sending me pictures of dogs and bla bla. I asked are you buying us (us meaning me and Bianca) a dog? He replied No, I'm buying a dog for myself Ughhh I t...
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Priscilla83
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8
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709
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Visiting a friend... a new kind of anxiety
(Preview)
I am visiting my old roommate this weekend who I have not seen for years. I am feeling that nervousness again - that I won't be accepted, I'll be judged. THis morning I read the Thought for Today from Hazelden and it was a reminder that I need not let the "old" feelings of codpendency and recove...
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RunnerChick
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2
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515
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Grateful Al-Anon has taught me to PAUSE
(Preview)
I'm being asked to step in and take on a role of responsibility for something that truly is not my responsibility. It is a situation, however, where it may be for the good of someone. I don't want to go into the details of the situation here (saving that for my sponsor.) Ahh... the Al-Anon in me wants to say...
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Aloha
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5
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1317
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Bringing A to meetings
(Preview)
Has anyone ever brought their A to an Al-Anon Meeting? If so what type of reaction did the A have?
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Hopeless
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12
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870
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I can see the disease
(Preview)
My ABF has come out of a three week relapse. He has lots of consequences to face. Owes £1,500. Lost best friend, kids have detached from him, his mum is really depressed and I can not have a relationship I can see I am very sick too. We have had odd chat and he is really working the programme. He has foun...
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Tracy
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4
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1344
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Feeling Better
(Preview)
Hello, I think that I am better as the time goes on. I finally think that i can move on. My ex A still around, but he does not affect me as before. Now I have the choice to tell him to leave the house whenever i feel that it is getting to me. I still have issues like insecurities. No one will think that about me sin...
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China
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3
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722
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still adjusting
(Preview)
The good news is that AH hasn't been drinking for over two months now. But we seem to be having trouble adjusting to the whole situation of him being sober. I want him to make some decisions as I'm tired of making all the decisions for the last year. He has a lot of projects and things going on, but when it co...
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pineapple
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4
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801
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May Chat Room Group Business Meeting Agenda
(Preview)
Agenda Meeting opening with "The Serenity Prayer"First Item: April Meeting Minutes Next Item: Review of Op meeting schedule -The current OP Meeting Schedule is as follows:AMMon. - Shimo/No altTues. - Doxie/No altWed. - Iona/No altThurs. - Doxie/No altFri. - Blendergirl/No altSat....
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Courage
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0
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461
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Encouraged = )
(Preview)
A is a social drinker NEVER drinks at home only at bars... With that being said we have eliminated supervised visits (it was causing more problems, etc)... He is staying at a mutual friends house right now and with the help of my sister she is going to drop and pick up my daughter... The family...
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Hopeless
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2
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377
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Support..
(Preview)
I just fought with myself for an hour on whether I should post this or not = / But.... I realize that I needed support especially from people that know what I'm talking about! I miss my 5 days of having a "normal" family.... Basically my life was based on a weekend of binging from th...
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Hopeless
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7
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813
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Addiction is addiction is addiction....
(Preview)
The recent posts about the effects of 'pot' versus 'alcohol', remind me of others that have been debated on here in prior times..... Some examples: hard liquor vs. beer having an A spouse vs. having an A child vs. having an A parent binge users vs. everyday users alcohol vs. other drugs etc, etc.... I b...
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canadianguy
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6
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1352
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I mean the world to him
(Preview)
After I left his house this morning, I got a text that said, "You mean the world to me can, we talk after work don't want to end this way" He said he was sorry for avoiding me, he was mad and was wrong for hurting me...he didn't want to hurt me. He said he has been struggling with things and would...
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daisygirl
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6
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772
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Detox Deadly?
(Preview)
My ABF went to the doctor this week. Doc agreed with me and ordered tests to verify that ABF has most likely been suffering TIA's (mini strokes). He then proceeded to give him the death lecture and remind him of all the patients he has lost to this disease called alcholism. Bloated livers, failing organ...
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FuzzyLogic
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10
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1241
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Sponsorship Question
(Preview)
Didn't want to hijack Hopeless's thread with my own question, so I'm putting it in a separate thread. I realize that I will need to do work with a sponsor to make real progress in my own recovery. Is it best to choose a sponsor from your home group? I ask because my home group is tiny (sometimes only 3 of us...
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ythannah
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10
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771
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Had to file a PFA
(Preview)
My H came home drunk early Sunday morning and just verbally abusive. I told him he couldn't come in so he slept in his truck. About 8 AM sunday he came in and was so verbally abusive to me. The name calling, etc was horrible and in front of my 3 and 1 year old. He ended up punching me in the head and stomach. ...
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Destynee
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5
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821
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Today's Birthday girl.............
(Preview)
Is our SHADOW! Happy birthday Shadow.....love ya girl!
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Mandy123
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6
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695
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Had not heard from him
(Preview)
Well, I had not heard from him in 35 hours. Had not returned my text or calls. Unlike him unless he is out drinking. So, worried and concerned I stopped by his house on my way to work to make sure he was alright and to get a better understanding of what is going on. Of course he went out Tuesday night (h...
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daisygirl
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3
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649
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once again
(Preview)
I had ended things with my 41year old ABF and I just couldn't stop thinking of him. I missed him and worried about him drinking. I became a stalker again... making sure he was alright. He is having construction business whoas and with our break up, I worried about him drinking. This past Saturday, a...
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daisygirl
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2
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713
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Why do I do this........
(Preview)
Why do I start fights with my AH when he hasn't done anything. I have anticipated anxiety about mothers day. Every year I look forward to it only to be let down. He doesn't drink on Mothers Day or my birthday or anyday celebrating 'me' but the days before. And I of course am still upset when it comes to...
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Rose
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10
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1231
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Thank you and More Questions (of course!)
(Preview)
First, it's been at least two weeks since I last posted which considering how often it seemed to be that the day ended with me bawling over the keyboard, that feels like progress! Actually, the progress is just knowing that I have gone from not being able to function anywhere doing anything because I w...
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Love Always Hopes
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3
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708
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Is this for me?
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I've been with my husband for 15 years and he was an alcoholic for 14 of those years. He stopped drinking a year ago and is committed to never starting up again, which I was eternally grateful for, for about 20 minutes, until he simply replaced alcohol with pot. He now does all the same things...
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miralake
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13
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946
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diva
(Preview)
major surgery tore tendon off humerus. should not be home.oscar died.He could not stand. I am in horrible pain.hard to feed me
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lyndebi
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8
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759
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having a bad day
(Preview)
I am having a bad day and noone to talk to. I know these days pass and I'm feeling sorry for myself. Everything I think about today seems to be negative. There are issues that didn't just start bothering me today but I guess I'm just overwhelmed with all the negative right now. One of those black and white t...
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buick23
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7
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892
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scared
(Preview)
My ABF and I have been chatting he is back in AA after his last slip which nearly took him to suicide. I have been running from him so scared not wanting any part not wanting to rescue to enable to watch what was happening. He has been chasing me since he has got back on the programme. Says he now knows how muc...
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Tracy
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2
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754
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Happy Birthday wishes to..........................
(Preview)
The one and only Karilynn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Birthday sweet lady! May your day be full of many blessings. Yours in recovery, Mandy
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Mandy123
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14
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1023
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Just starting to figure this out?
(Preview)
It's a long story, but I'll try to give you all the Cliff notes version. Spent three years with ABF, the last year was us trying to break up. Finally in Aug. 09 I put an end to the roller coaster and the relationship. No contact. Finally I meet a new guy and we hit it off very well. He abandones the relatio...
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Dog_ma
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3
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797
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Love? or addiction?
(Preview)
Just finished watching the movie.."When Love is not Enough"..the story of Lois Wilson.I teared up during the movie,but not until he got sober.After it was over,I cried the 'ugly' cry as Oprah calls it, lol. I identified with her sometimes.I saw as never before the way I had totally given u...
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drucilla06
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3
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1227
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Just when I think I get it......I don't.
(Preview)
I could use some advice, stories, experience....whatever you're willing to give! I've known my Abf-sober for just about 3 years now, however, I've only "known" him as a dry drunk. I'm thankful that I didn't have to do the binges, blackouts and blowouts that I read on this site daily and my...
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lizzakiss
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3
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822
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Keeping the focus on me.
(Preview)
Hello everyone - I am new to the forum although not new to Al-Anon. I have been in a long term marriage with an A who has been sober for a very long time. He has some serious issues through which I have been able to maintain sanity and sometimes serenity by keeping the focus on myself. Lately, I am having...
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Nolaprincess
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2
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723
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I have a question...
(Preview)
When I was at the family week at rehab for my AH, the counselors were talking about us family members and made a statement about us being "f.i.n.e. " and each letter stood for something. Do any of you know what they stand for, I can't remember? I really wanted to write them down to remind me.....
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Sweet Stanley
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3
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690
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funny and annoying and weird
(Preview)
For 4 years (just recently with the dad (69( and 21 year old "girlfriend")motocycle dirt bike racing- my 4 years of participation every other weekend I have noticed it is very typical for any girlfriend/ wife- female watching the rider race to wear a jersy with the rider's number...
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glad
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2
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754
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Sad Realization
(Preview)
Some of you are concerned about your kids. I was talking to my daughter, now 35 almost, about how her brother 34 almost is so anxiety ridden. He worries about things that are 2 years away. Worries he is doing all he is doing for someone to take it away.(house, jeep, boat etc.) She says to me,"Mom we ar...
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lyndebi
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4
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888
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intro and having a really tough week
(Preview)
Hi my name is dalia and i'm new here. i had a 9 yr relationship with an addict/alcoholic that i ended 4 years ago. he's been in recovery (aa and counselling) since then, has held the same job for 4 years. the last thing i told him was that i could not do it any more and that he owed it to himself to get treatmen...
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dalia
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2
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766
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Feeling Lost....
(Preview)
It has been a terrible weekend, we had a day of strongs storms here and a friend of mine died while trying to get into her storm shelter, she fell and hit her head and it was fatal. I loved her and had known her for more than thirty years, she was a wonderful person. Another friend of mine from high school...
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DreamsOver
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3
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727
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Denial denial denial
(Preview)
So my husband is moving again, cause that's the solution to our separation and to his alcoholism. I told him again on Saturday that until he gets sober we are not getting back together, and even if he moves to my dream house, I'm staying put in MY house. He says that if he's gonna give me EVERYTHING why I ca...
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Priscilla83
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2
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791
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The Story of Lois W.... Wow!
(Preview)
Just watched the Hallmark movie, "When Love Isn't Enough", about Lois W. The wife of Bill W. and struggles she endured as the wife of an alcoholic and the beginnings of Al-Anon. I must admit, it put a hump in my throat more than once. What a beautiful story of love, hope, faith and reaching out to other...
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John
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7
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1131
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I'm New and So Confused
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I've been with my alcoholic boyfriend for over 8 years. The drinking has gotten really bad over the past two years. I am also an adult child of an alcoholic (my dad). I finally kicked him out about a month ago. All of the deceit, mental and emotional abuse, abandonment, etc. I just couldn't d...
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jettiesgirl
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6
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826
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Talked to the A
(Preview)
A is starting his supervised visitations with our daughter this week so I had to call and find out when he was coming (i will not be home when he comes to see her, my mother is going to supervise his visitations)... Of course he automatically started with the "i miss you", "i love y...
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Hopeless
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6
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741
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List of Adult Behaviors
(Preview)
Hi, Once in an Alanon meeting I heard a list read of 12 to 15 ways in which an adult should behave. What is this list? Where can I find it in the literature? I would love to find this list so I can make a copy for myself and learn it. It has things like, "an adult is happy for someone instead of envious when t...
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bucknathaniel
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2
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1328
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If I Could Say Only One Thing------I Would Say Thank You Lois
(Preview)
To my MIP Family, David wrote a great post on gratitude today. I just watched the Hallmark Hall of Fame movie "When Love Is Not Enough". So I've had a double dose of gratitude today. If there is anyone in the family that watched the movie and did not tear-up several times then they didn't watch...
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RLC
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7
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861
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Gratitude
(Preview)
Hi Family, I got home a couple of hours ago from the small conference that my home group hosts every year. This was my seventh year attending and is my annual Al-Anon birthday celebration. On April 17, 2004 I attended this conference at the invitation of my then AA wife, and for that I am grateful. Grat...
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david62
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6
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911
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Gratitude always finds a way....
(Preview)
I 1st Want to say THANK YOU to all who responded & helped lift me from my Slump Last week, every day I got on here & seen another response, it was really an uplifting part of my day, and helped carry me thru, many tears, many memories of those past... I DID Make a Meeting last night, and it was SOOOO ni...
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Jozie
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2
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672
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Shine
(Preview)
Here's a little inspirational quote from Nelson Mandela: Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actual...
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intothewoods
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3
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783
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new and learning(I hope)
(Preview)
I'm a wife of a addict/alcoholic. We've been together for 29 years, 25 of them married. He was a drug user back in 1987, when I was pregnant with our first child. He entered rehab in 1988 and was clean for 18 years. He started using prescription drugs and when the debt piled high he turned to drinking to for...
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hopeforrecovery
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3
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717
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I Never realized How Lost I Would Be Without---- What ??
(Preview)
I have been without internet service for the last two day at my business, modem problems. If someone had told me ten or twelve years ago that I would have a hard time doing without the Internet--- my Black Labs--- a microwave--- and MIP, I would have told them they were crazy. But they would have been ri...
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RLC
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8
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928
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Does Anyone Know
(Preview)
If the movie Love Is Not... Being Shown In The UK Or Even Online Perhaps?? Belle1x
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belle1
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3
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605
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I ended it...
(Preview)
Well, I had gone to his house the other day... but the timing was not right. Last night, he went out to the bars and I was once again left to worry and drive myself nuts. So, today he made me lunch. I went there to talk. He was certainly not prepared to hear what I had to say. I appeared strong (even thou...
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daisygirl
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11
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908
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Need to vent
(Preview)
Hi Guys, am after two punishing days, things went ok but very long. I come home to relax, and my A father rings, I have no way of knowing who is ringing, will have to get new phone and he starts complaining about why my a-brother is getting passed over for state housing, he has been passed over three times. I...
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maire rua
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3
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824
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New and not sure...
(Preview)
Hello, I just joined this group a few moments ago because I have been "planning" to attend actual meetings but it never seems to happen with work. I am the adult child of an alcoholic mother and actually an alcoholic father as well. To keep this short she has been in rehab multiple times and...
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CCC12
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12
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933
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