(((Hopeless)))

Absolutely nothing wrong with being angry. In some ways being angry can be healthy, as long as we don't allow it to consume us. I have asked myself many times---Why me ?? But I feel sure our alcoholics ask themselves the same question. I'm thankful everyday I'm on this side of the fence. I don't like living with active alcoholism in my life. I don't like all the things it takes away from our marriage. I would like being number one, but alcohol holds that spot. I came to accept that as I got more and more program. In no way does that mean I have to like it.

But I look at the positives as much as I can. Because of this disease my life has changed for the better. The program taught me how to take care of myself first, something I had never done. The program made me realize I am powerless over this disease, and the only person I could change was myself. It taught me that it was foolish for me to be resentful of a disease, heck it's not even a person, it's a stupid disease for heavens sake. At the end of the day the only person who is affected by resentments is the person who is holding them---me. The program lead me to become more spititual and get closer to my HP. As cunning, baffling, and powerful as this disease is, and as much as I hate it, it introudced me to the most loving, caring and understanding group of people. The people in the rooms of Al-Anon and on this board. For that I am grateful. I can't help that life gave me a lemon, but it's my fault if I don't try to make lemonade out of it.

But like you------I to hate and will never understand this disease.

HUGS,
RLC



-- Edited by RLC on Thursday 6th of May 2010 10:55:50 PM

-- Edited by RLC on Thursday 6th of May 2010 11:55:21 PM

I hope this will kind of help anyone who doesnt understand this disease. Im a diabetic, so if I have too much sugar or carbs, I start to act like Im drunk. I remember one night coming home from a dinner with my family, my sugar was a little high, I got stopped by a police officer because I was swerving. Of course he let me go, I told him I need to get home to take my insulin. Im usually pretty good with controlling my sugars, but sometimes you crave desserts or bread. Before I was diabetic, I was a carboholic, I craved carbs. Pasta & bread were my thing. Im kind of grateful Im a diabetic, because I have to completely control what I eat, or die, so its a blessing in disguise. There are some Diabetics, that eat whatever they want, their sugars are out of control and they are in denial of there disease, some go on to have limbs amputated because they wont control their diet. They can give you pills and insulin, but you still have to control your diet. I know its difficult to live with an A, but what if you lived with a Diabetic who was in denial of his disease, ate whatever he wanted, could come in and out of coma's , could die in a coma, contract a kidney disease, go blind, have a heart attack or stroke, these are all possibilities when you live with Diabetis. Doesnt it kind of sound familiar....you would still have to attend Alanon meetings and detach. I have observed people and their relationships and marriages. There always seems to be an obstacle in a lot of relationships that blocks people from becoming happy. If its not alcohol, its drugs, gambling, workaholic, mental illness that becomes apparant. Like Rosanna Danna from SNL use to say, Its always something!!

I agree and addiction is rampant worldwide.  I think part of it is the unconcsious of most folks, that feed into it through codependency and dont realize they are just as much a part of the disease, albeit unknowingly. 

When people learn to focus on themselves and not take on other's issues/problems - the A's will have more opportunity to face themselves.  They say it takes a village to raise a child, I think it takes a village of denial and dysfunction to keep abuse alive.  Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.

We can only change and control ourselves, not what others do.  Accept othr's choices and detach bc it is their life - as long as we sit and stare at them, we are losing ourselves and feeding the disease.  We can only take action, for us.  We can choose to not participate in manipualtion, we can learn to take control over us and be happy ~ it's an inside job.

I got a suepr quote from a member in chat once and I've never forgotten it,

Whether Im obsessed with the alcoholic or alcohol, then it is the obsession that is the problem, not the alcohol or the alcoholic.  -LE

-- Edited by kitty on Friday 7th of May 2010 08:31:30 AM

 Hello everybody. I am new here and would like to share that I have been on both sides of this sickness. I would like to share this link with you that I have found. Someone gave me a copy of this book and I believe it can help a lot of families.
God Bless everyone.

http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=978-1-61663-214-4