The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, I suppose that the saying "death is all part of life" is so true, as my father died last week, at the age of 84. He was an amazing man - someone we were always so blessed to have, and he was as proud of us as we were of him. His health was pretty good until he was 82, but in the end, a combination of heart & lung issues, along with some cancer, took him away.
Dad really was a rock, and my hero. He was everything a man should be, and one that I continue to strive to be like..... He was married to his best friend for over 58 years, was an outstanding husband, father, grandfather, friend, and provider. He loved equally and abundantly, and was always amazing with kids of all ages.
There are stories to fill up a thousand pages, but two that come to mind impress me the most. In 2006, my oldest niece was scheduled to graduate from RCMP (police) academy in Regina, which is 1500+ miles away. Dad had just found out that he had a detached retina, and needed surgery to repair it. He talked to the doctor and was told what the recommended surgery was, but that he couldn't fly for 8-10 weeks afterwards. Dad said "I am going to Regina, so what are my other options?". Against the (medical) advice of his doctor, they elected to have a lesser surgery, that allowed him to fly to attend the graduation festivities, and he ended up having to have two more surgeries after he returned home. There was really no choice to make, in Dad's mind - family came first - always.
The other one is how he (and Mom) treated both myself, and my ex-AW at the time of the breakdown of our marriage, the escalation of her disease, etc. I live a few hours away from Mom & Dad, so I had really shielded them from the horrors of what was going on behind closed doors at my house - my A's alcoholism had escalated, she was in & out of the family home several times over, and I was often a 'single dad' for various periods of time. When I finally shared some of this with my parents, there was NO judgement whatsoever. They loved me, and supported me in whatever way they could - no surprise there. What amazed me about them, is they loved and supported my AW in whatever way they could as well. They knew nothing about alcoholism, and really didn't understand why she did the things she was doing, but they didn't judge her, and remained loving and helpful whenever they could. When our issues escalated to separation & divorce, their love was still there - for both of us, as much as could ever be hoped for. I think it is a pretty nice tribute to Dad, and the type of person he was, that my ex-AW attended his funeral service on Friday, despite her feelings towards me (she and I are 'awkwardly civil').
My father was a very special man, and we are all going to miss him. If you could keep my Mom in your prayers - she's certainly going to have a challenging day today (Mother's Day) and in the days going forward, but is buoyed by many cherished memories of a great life with a great man.
Take care Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
My deepest sympathy is with you, I am aslo blessed with a wonferful father, the best man I know.
As you go thru the greiving process keep those wonderful memeries close....My prayers are with your mom as I know how she feels....she was lucky to have so many years with the man she loved....I know her heart is breaking and she will need you now more than ever.
My deepest sympathies to your family on your loss. Your Dad sounds like a remarkable human being. A man of strength, grace and wisdom. Of this I have no doubt because I see all those things in you. I miss my Dad too very much. I am sending you all the love and prayers to your entire family. May the memories comfort you. Hug your mother for me and tell Dad's alright. He's up there with my father and uncle and they are making sure he's okay. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Karilynn & Pipers
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Sorry for your loss. We never really lose them. I lost my Dad in 1999, but he remains always in my heart. Im sure the wonderful memories for you will always remain.
Please accept my deepest sympathy and condolences on the loss of your Dad!((((HUGS)))) He sounds like the daddy I wished I'd had! You're so blessed to have had a Dad like that and your Mom to have had a wonderful husband for so many years! I know everyone shall miss him. I'm glad you have great memories of him to share with everyone and your family too. ((((HUGS))))) o2bnormaljoni, aka jonibaloni21 :)
Wonderful tribute to your dear father, Tom. Yes, of course, I will keep your mom wrapped in positive thought.
I lost my own dad when I was 18. He was very young, and it was much too soon. I miss him still. As do I, you have memories of a great dad to keep close to you for all your life. What a treasure!
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's wonderful that you had such a great Dad. I'm glad you have such great memories to hold on to, although I know he will be missed terribly. How grateful your family must be to have such a wonderful man. I surely will keep your Mom in my prayers and will send a "thanks" to your Dad for producing a kind and caring son.
(((big hug)))
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
My sincere sympathies go out to you and your family at this time Tom. May your memories hold you through much joy and pain along your travels. I will add you and yours to my prayers that HP hold you all comfortably ... enveloped in his loving arms.
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...He compared his weathered hand to mine and said, ... GROWTH OF THE MIND AND HEART are the best offers you can give.my Grandfather (Keeper of Stories), to me
My heart goes out to you, Tom. Passing of a loved one is so difficult and I truly hope that they get to watch over us, but know with certainty they live on in our hearts.
Thank you for sharing such a special part of your life with us.
We are here for you.
tlc
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To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
