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update on the car crash and how to respond
(Preview)
I have learned to hold off on updates, because most often I have to update the update, thus I find it easier to wait, or not do it at all. It gives me time not only to have all the facts, but to spend some time just figuring out what I am feeling. I posted that my son got in an accident. He totaled his friend's mo...
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Loupiness
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3
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509
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Inspirational Sayings
(Preview)
I know in the 1+ year I've been around this site, there have been several topics under which people have posted some of their favorite inspirational/al anon sayings. I have really been struggling with the program lately, and in an effort to do a better job working the program, I'm creating a journal....
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stephaniej
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16
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5088
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Why must life feel so miserable......
(Preview)
Hello all - I have posted a few times and have found some encouragement and comfort in those relating to what i have gone through. Quick recap - been technically married for nearly 3 years. It is technical but seems like it never took off. I soon learned that I had been lied to over and over again by an ad...
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downdenise
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11
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7024
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just looking to vent
(Preview)
My BF has been going through a very bad time for about the past 3 weeks he has drank everyday to the point that everyone can tell. he has been verbally abusive to me. I have never once raised my voice to him or accused him of anything. i just listened. He called his sister rambling on and she called me and told...
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HoofnIt
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5
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401
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IT WENT WELLER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD!
(Preview)
I am so thrilled to say that the party was a huge success! I just love the lady that I did the party for! I faked her out when she first saw the sign! When she walked in she was sooooooooo surprised. I put a party necklace around her neck because I didn't have a crown or a party hat! The necklace was fancy mardi g...
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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281
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HELP! My alcoholic ex-boyfriend finally surrenders to AA! What can I do?
(Preview)
Hello, I am new to this forum and read a lot of wonderful things on here. I am currently attending Al-Anon meetings for about two months now, I have a sponser and I am working on Step One. My ex-boyfriend of 2 and a half years recently broke up with me when he relapsed about two months ago. When we met, I knew h...
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serenity84
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5
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3819
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAY "LOVING SOMEONE UNCONDITIONALLY?
(Preview)
PLEASE SHARE YOUR MEANINGS.....THANKS OLDERGAL
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oldergal
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13
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4186
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going through something big here
(Preview)
I have felt stalled in my program. I have been going full bore for a long time and I kind of just stalled out. Now this big thing with 1 of my jobs is happening and I am seeing that I wasn't relying on my HP enough and there is a big lesson learned here. I have gotten off track and I need to face that and get myself b...
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Breakingfree
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2
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411
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Dilemma
(Preview)
So my husbands alcoholic he is a "binge drinker". We have a beautiful daughter who is 10 months old and I like an idiot thought when we had her 10 months ago my husband would stop with the drinking. He had some periods a few months where he was sober and I really got my hopes up that he was finished...
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Guitar1
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7
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525
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Have You Changed?
(Preview)
Last Night at our Meeting, the Lady that Lead Had been a Member for 27 yrs, and the Topic of Choice was "Change" She went on to say & see her Changes Since she Got to Al-Anon, and How Far it has Changed her LIfe..Great Meeting... I had shared that When I first Got to Al-Anon, I was VERY Angry, I...
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Jozie
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10
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306
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Im not sure what to do Please help
(Preview)
Sorry I am new here I just had to reach out to someone. Where to start. The man I love is an alcoholic. We met 10 years ago and built a bond like no other I have had before or after. We have a deep and loving friendship and a deeper loving and caring for each other. When we first met he didnt drink. Once he tried it...
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LostInLove
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8
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619
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Progress
(Preview)
Feeling more calm today. Perhaps even good :) I made it to BOTH meeting this week, and may even get to a third! Today, and yesterday, I actually felt excited at work, I felt priviliged to have the opportunity that I do. Of course, I still questioned myself, had moments of feeling absolutely unworth...
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KLotus
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2
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226
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things that have helped - 4 months
(Preview)
Well, I have been on the ACoA and Al Anon board now for about 4 months. I come here every day. I find myself now reading other posts and not thinking.. 'Yeahhh I have that question too" although I still do at times, I find myself sometimes now saying "oooo I remember asking that and this is what...
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Lindaoakford
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11
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508
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Here is a good laugh
(Preview)
He bought and consumed a bottle of vodka today. Gave me an excuse. I told him I had put on three pounds over Thanksgiving. I now weigh 118, so it is not a case of being overweight. This yoyo decided my weight gain was a good excuse to indulge himself in his favorite hobby. What a fool he is! I am tired of...
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Diva
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12
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650
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Returning
(Preview)
Hi, I logged on here about two years ago as my husband of a few months was in rehab. I didn't interact too long with this site as I was feeling emotionally drained and reading and posting comments just seemed too hard. Anyway since then he has been back in rehab once and is now after having another few weeks...
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Grace11
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8
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476
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More ESH needed...
(Preview)
One of the biggest struggles I'm having lately involves all the hypocrisy in my home. First and foremost, my AH's hypocrisy drives me crazy because he says all the time how much he hates hypocrites. He is hypocritical about his hypocrisy! LOL Anyway, I am getting better about just accepting that h...
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stephaniej
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4
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305
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HP is Everywhere...
(Preview)
I had read somewhere Resently that when you lose someone you never ramain the same once they are Gone from your world... I have thought on this long & hard for the last couple weeks, and I now can see it as So... I have spent Many Restless Hours Trying to stay Out of Denial & into Prayer... Its not be...
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Jozie
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4
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504
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How can you help someone who does not want to help themselves? you cant
(Preview)
My husband binge drinks. he just got out of hospital after being Formed 1 from the emerge doc. that means he has to stay in the hospital for 72 hours to be mentally assest, he gets out and immediately buys a big bottle of boose, he has alot of mental and physical issues. i am end the end of my rope trying to hel...
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Deb20011
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7
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1215
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His relapse and my guilt
(Preview)
Ugh. Today I found out my AH (who moved out my request earlier this year) relapsed (again--he's been attempting sobriety for almost a year). This time he *did* reach out but implied to me that he had thought about doing something 'bad' to himself and doesn't trust himself being alone. He was supposed t...
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sookie
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6
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475
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Does your Partner or other half participate in MIP forums also?
(Preview)
Sorry I did a search as I am sure the answer is here somewhere but I could not find it. Also do they know you are here? TIA Jes
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Jes
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16
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508
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I BELIEVE IN SYMMETRY
(Preview)
This song by Bright Eyes just absolutely sings to me... about having faith in what God has in store for you.. and letting go. Some plans were made and rice was thrown A house was built, a baby born How time can move both fast and slow Amazes me And so I raise my glass to symmetry To the second hand and its accu...
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Michelle814
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7
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262
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any kind words will do
(Preview)
Hey everyone, Early tomorrow morning I go in to court for either a stay away hearing, or, more paperwork signing, or a further delay [ and more costs ] It all depends how my ex RA responds to the latest stay away stipulations which he either read yesterday or will read today. The odds of my seeing him t...
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rara avis
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13
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378
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My A is driving me crazy
(Preview)
I've been in recovery for a while - I am an alcoholic and have been sober for 5 years. My A, however, is not sober. I know the rules and have set boundaries but he seems to be more selfish than before. I try to understand, let it go, attend my meetings, do my 12 steps, etc. but i'm only human. Got didn't mak...
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CAM0914
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7
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422
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One year on
(Preview)
Last year I was so morose about my life. I was trapped in a dead end job with a supervisior who I can only describe as vicious. I felt like I would never leave the house I lived in and the alcoholics and addcits were acting out day and night. Of course since I neither drank or acted out they picked on me religou...
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orchidlover
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7
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275
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A few pics of my little herd....
(Preview)
These guys give me chores, make such nice sounds and make me laugh. Mom is Sahari. Then the two babies. The boy is Bright eyes, girl no name yet. The white g pig with the black face is Hobart a neutered male. He has decided he is the daddy of these kids and is protecting them! He is so funny as he struts around l...
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Debilyn
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8
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305
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How to keep sane
(Preview)
My Sanity is Fading! I am trying so hard to take the higher ground, but my AH says my thinking is deranged. I am beginning to question why I cant just be happy with things and if I am crazy But every time I express a need for things to change, no drinking (mostly because of the recent physical abuse), he...
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oldgraduate
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5
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550
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Family Guilt trips
(Preview)
Every year my family of origin and my dad's extended family particpates in a Christmas gift exchange. Names are drawn and a $50 gift is exchanged. This year I have told the family due to my family circumstances and all that is going on in my life I would like to bow out and not participate. You would thin...
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amills4294
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6
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631
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decision made to do no decision making
(Preview)
My decision today is to make no decision today until my roomate kicks me out this may be my answer every day to whether you not I should live with my AH when he gets out of rehab.. also my answer to whether we get a divorce if the mayhem continues I think I will know what to do when I know what to do. Also a dear fri...
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Michelle814
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4
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232
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Need some ESH
(Preview)
So many months ago, during a heated "discussion" about my AH's drinking, I informed him in what I felt was a calm, non-judgmental way that I was not willing to buy beer for him. To his credit, he has respected this boundary, and has never asked me to pick up a 12-pack with the groceries, etc. N...
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stephaniej
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7
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415
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Help! Desperate Emergency
(Preview)
Things have been rockly lately. AH has been having wild mood swings, things have not been stable. When I got home from work last night I walked into an complete melt down from him. He said he was upset because he hadn't finished dinner for me, the grill ran out of gas, and he couldn't get a cardboard box ta...
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surfgirl123
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9
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827
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I'm not sure
(Preview)
Last week was a tough week. Monday night and Wednesday night I was catching the spiral of ugliness. Thursday morning I was getting ready for my race and my AH came in to the room. I looked at him and told him that just because he doesn't love himself doesn't mean that I don't love him and he can accept that or...
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Jackie11
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6
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498
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Ok this PM program is messed up?????
(Preview)
Help! It says I have six messages, I don't. The writing is so small it is hard to read. What was wrong with how it was before? ????
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Debilyn
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5
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306
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24 year old son - 1 year of rehab/AA - then relapse
(Preview)
Our 24 year old son was "forced" into rehab by us almost 1 year ago, and came out 3 mos later the son we remembered. He appreciated AA, had a great sponsor and went 5 times a week. Then, 6 mos in a sober living house where he just went through the motions, declaring he was NOT an addict and didn'...
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MamaBird
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6
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429
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Recently discovered my husband is addicted to weed as well.
(Preview)
Do you ever wish you could put on a pair of magic glasses that would allow you to see the truth of your loved ones' addiction, and not just the lies they feed you about it or the scenarios you have in your own mind? I feel like I'm going crazy trying to understand the extent of my husband's addiction so that I c...
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jessicat
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12
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2486
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yes I'm still here....
(Preview)
Haven't posted in a while... But I've still been reading... Hanging in there. Day by day.. So during november I had set a boundry that if my A doesn't pay his part of the bills then he needs to leave.... Well his pay day came and wouldn't ya know it he was high for 5 days straight... 1000 bucks gone in a day......
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kris10
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11
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482
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Mom was sober for months, not anymore
(Preview)
I'm totally new here but this stuff exasperates me sometimes. I worked with my mom for years and she got SO much better and didn't drink for months at a time. Now, every 2-3 days, she comes home in the early afternoon slurring her words and apparently thinks it doesn't bother my dad and I. And when this...
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zeninator
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11
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7233
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I am so excited & I just can't hide it!
(Preview)
Party plans at 3 pm. Wish all of you could be there--most everything is done--just have to set-up & show up! And, make sure my friend Tammy is there! I think I am officially a party planner--now all I have to do is learn how to frost a cake now that I know I can bake one--inside joke! For anyone who doesn...
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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3493
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RLC - Has Passed Away - please read
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
Hello, my name is Melissa and most of you know that I work with RLC. We go to meetings together and he was a great person. He passed last night at around 1030pm. It is a shock to everyone. We are all grieving at this loss because many of you know what a wonderful and giving person he was. I wanted to let you all k...
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MDK
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49
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5677
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Losing the love...Detaching...Reality
(Preview)
Hi All, New to these forums, been doing a lot of reading on here and it's just wonderful to find so many helpful posts. Reinforces that I am in the right spot. I just wanted to share a few of my ramblings, if for nothing other than to get them out of my head. First, I don't know exactly how to place my husband...
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mehere80
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11
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557
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How has alcoholism affected your sex life?
(Preview)
Mine is non existent which is better than when it was alcohol fueled and demeaning. Just wondering if that is the norm.
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tired of trying
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20
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865
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How Do You Live With This
(Preview)
My AH smells so bad from his drinking I can't stand it any more. I work at a hospital and can take them smells but at home it seems to effect me more. He smokes outside but that bugs me too. The kids are older and out of school now but when they were in school they would want me to go with them coz dad smells t...
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peacewithin
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6
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361
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Still plugging away
(Preview)
Hi All, I miss being here more often! But, I'm grateful for this forum. I have maintained a weekly meeting, sometimes two. Tonight I am going to put my best efforts into attending my second meeting this week! My AH (sober as of May 18), if you remember, has abandoned his meetings/program. Not drink...
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KLotus
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4
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387
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Growing and Changing, ODAAT
(Preview)
My AH is in rehab and I am now living with a friend who I have had for many years. Little did I know that she is an alcoholic as well. I am surrounded by sick people but I now understand why. It is my character qualities as well as defects that have led me to the life I now have. All these sick people around me...
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Michelle814
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4
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279
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I messed up ...
(Preview)
I messed up really bad .. I don't know what else to call it outside of my stuff here on the site was read. I shouldn't have disclosed so much on the site, I don't know how to talk any other way. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 9, I grew up thinking everyone talked this way and this is how we talked at h...
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Pushka
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13
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610
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Still here. ODAT
(Preview)
feel like I should post as part of my recovery process. I couldn't get to my normal face to face meeting last night and I couldn't attend online either. Maybe tonight. My spouse and I are still separated. We did have a good holiday with our daughter and respective families. In isolated moments lik...
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amills4294
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5
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382
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Vacation - Anything But!
(Preview)
Was on vacation last week, no internet or phone use so am now getting caught up. When my AH agreed to go on vacation with my family months ago he was happy and excited about it. Well, within minutes of getting to our destination last week he was awful. Complained the whole time, said he didn't want to be th...
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surfgirl123
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3
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256
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he has a heart?
(Preview)
So, I am taking a bath, and my husband decides that we need to talk. So, I ask him about what and he starts rattling off problems.. I lost my cool for a short moment....nothing extreme. I believe he wants me to quit school. He makes Plenty of money, but is making me feel guilty about bills. We have no extra bi...
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KimK
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7
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491
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thanx for the esh,i did indeed need it,
(Preview)
i tend to at times or most times when he is sober get all wrapped up in him cause i love him so much,but i do indeed need to work on my own happiness and like my freind told me the other day that i do need to not stop what im been doing before he came back into my life like going to church and visiting with my freinds...
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lookingup
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2
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328
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Thankfullness every day
(Preview)
Every day I write a gratitude list. My sponsor suggested this quite a while ago which of course filled me with resentment! So everyday is an opportunity to give thanks. A lot has shifted for me since then. Suggestions can sometimes be pretty hard to implement but I'm very glad I finally got to do thi...
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orchidlover
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7
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556
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What Rodney taught me
(Preview)
Rodney and I corresponded fairly frequently over the last year since I joined MIP. I am really saddened by his passing. I have spent some time this morning reading through his private messages to me and there is so much wisdom and serenity there, and I wanted to share some of what he offered me here to eve...
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usedtobeanyer
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8
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494
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His first day back to work
(Preview)
So ABF is in recovery and has been out of rehab 10 days. He really hasn't been alone because he's not been comfortable enough with himself. So tomorrow is his first day back to work. He is a nervous wreck because he will have to pass two liquor stores twice tomorrow. I have faith he can do it without sto...
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CamaroGirl
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4
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308
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o brother
(Preview)
hello all. this is my second attempt to open a conversation - my first post was flagged as spam... anyways i'll start with good morning :). i've been attending alanon for a couple of months now. i think that my brother may have a drinking/drugging problem. there's not much information about sibling...
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richie
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10
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383
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PLEASE READ! NEW MEMBER INTRODUCTION
(Preview)
I begin this introduction with a sad face because that's how I feel right now, sad and worried. I've recently come to realize that my 31 year old son is an alcoholic. He drinks because he has social phobia. He tries quitting, only to start again. He is very lonely, but is extremely shy without alcoh...
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KARMA
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9
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660
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Hello
(Preview)
Hello, I'm Laurie D. I have posted here before only once or twice. I have an alcoholic brother who lives in Japan. We pretty much have had no communication for over a year, when he came for my younger brother's funeral. My younger brother was 40 and died of menengitis. It was tragic, because he seeme...
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pepodwyer
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2
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396
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I confronted my parents
(Preview)
Hi, I am fairly new here and as I described in an earlier post, I have an Active A, my husband. Each day is up and down, one day good, one day horrible. It went that way this holiday weekend. AH and I went to a friends house for Thanksgiving. They drank a lot of beer, but it went ok. No tempers flared. Next...
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Minaret
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6
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568
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Separation Anxiety
(Preview)
I think I have decided to completely remove myself and give my AH time for his own recovery. I don't think I am ready to really accept everything that comes along with the disease. It is so hard for me but I think it might be what's best. It hurts to walk away especially after everything that I have been th...
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_heather_
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9
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601
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The Pain Stops when...
(Preview)
This one has been following me around for many years....Every time I read it, something new jumps out at me...I can be in the best of moods, and read this, and I cry....always....Lately, though, its been a healing cry....Maybe...acceptance??? I just know that this one always gets to me.. The Pain S...
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KimK
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12
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1059
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Confronting EX DIL A, nasty little pill she is
(Preview)
All I asked was if she intended to keep MY deceased husbands last name. I got back a message full of typical A stuff. So I just answered in good Al Anon fashion. Was fun using my tools. ex. OH that would be how an A tries to get the attention off them. mmm most A's do not relate to how non A's can take med. and not b...
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Debilyn
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0
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691
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Random Al-Anon atheist musings
(Preview)
It's been several months since my first, tearful "I don't think Al-Anon can work for me because I'm an atheist" post. I'm glad I stayed. I didn't find religion, and nobody tried to make me. Instead, I found human potential. There is so much badness in the world that it is easy to forget how muc...
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atheos
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7
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1304
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Bad Morning
(Preview)
I wish I was posting from a happy place this morning but that's not how my day started out My AH works nights so he sleeps till mid afternoon on Saturdays.This morning I found the typical mess in the kitchen,beer bottles and remnants of food he prepared for himself which I'm used to.Then I heard him get u...
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MrsHennepope
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15
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721
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