Seeing a therapist - Al-Anon Family Group

atheos · Senior Member

Seeing a therapist

Very Very Tired · Senior Member

The therapist I go to specializes in helping addicts and their families. A year ago, when I came out of my denial, I switched from a regular therapist who I was seeing to help me to save my marriage to this addiction therapist who is helping me save myself.

I can't even begin to tell you what a difference it makes going to a therapist who lives and breathes 12-step recovery. The addiction therapist doesn't let me whine. Yes, I share my problems and learn more about myself, delving deeper and deeper each time. But, if I get whiney, he calls me on it. He switches the focus back to me.

I knew in the first session that this therapist was different and the one I needed to help me. He knew what I was facing even before I was ready to face it all. At my first appointment, he was brutally honest and said, "This is going to be the hardest thing you have ever done."

He is right.

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Atheos,

I'm starting therapy again when I get home. I know it's scary however when you have a good therapist you are going to know it. They are going to call things that will tick you off, at the same time I've never left a therapy meeting feeling bad about me. I always feel like I do when I leave an alanon meeting which is hopeful and full of the ideas that will help me change.

Affirmations are so wonderful when it comes to believing that we have a right to be here. Loving yourself is a big giant step in recovery and I hope you find what you need through your therapy appointments joint with alanon as well it's a wonderful gift to yourself. You do deserve to be happy and healthy. You have a right to exist and be present in your life and the lives of others. You are important to people you have never even met who share your feelings and can't find ways to express them.

Sending love and support on this journey it's a wonderful way to find your way back to you.

Hugs P :)

nyc018 · Senior Member

Hi atheos - please don't worry about seeming like a whiner - their job is to listen to you and everyone who sees them has problems. I've been going to one since August and it is helpful. Interestingly, mine is a recovering A with almost 30 years sobriety so it is a good fit for me since he's been where my AH has. While I don't know if I'll stick with it long term, it has helped to have someone objective and gives me the chance to work out/verbalize my issues. I think you're right to give it a try. Sending you support, nyc

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

As a therapist and a professional therapy whiner (lol) I can tell you that your "whining" will not be seen like you say. Like NYC stated, that is the reason we go to therapy. The most difficult of therapy clients is the one that doesn't talk at all. I will take whining any day over silence.

Mark

jessicat · Member

Atheos, you are in therapy for YOU. Sure, there may be people out there who have bigger problems, but that doesn't make your own problems any less important, difficult, or real. Therapists see a wide range of issues and the bottom line is that if you're there because you want help.

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

I have done lots of therapy and I did lots of complaining and getting everything off my chest, that is what I was going for. After my counselor's heard what I was having issues with they could help me decipher what to work on first and move through it. It is hard work to put the time and energy into yourself to get better, but you are worth it! Sending you love and support!

Lindaoakford · ~*Service Worker*~

I have two hats to answer with

I was a counsellor prior to ever going to counselling myself. PLease keep whining is what I can say. It gives us something to work with. Open and honest. I had one client who literally sat and looked at me and said nothing. He was forced to see me and didn't want to be there. Another one talked about everything, eventually, after about a year, we got to talking about her childhood abuses and stuff. Its like this program, it works if you work it.

Second hat, a client. I was soooo scared to go and get help. My stomach was in knots. What does this person think of me rah rah rah. I totally forgot my own understanding of counselling and I was purely a client.
AGain, it works if you work it.

orchidlover · ~*Service Worker*~

I have been in and out of therapy for years. I think its a great tool.

I think your worry is actually projection which is where we project out what we feel about ourselves and feel that is the truth.

In fact therapists don't generally take on clients they can't work with.

I do think its takes time. I have been out of therapy now for a year or so and feel its effects all the time. I know I may go back in time. The commitment is huge.

I think its wonderful you are taking your sponsors suggestions.

Maresie.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.