Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

orchidlover · orchidlover

For the past 18 months at the store I work at I've weathered a split shift any time there was one. This week I said no. I had to cross the bridge of knowing they were not going to take care of me to get to that one. I prefer this side of the bridge to the hoping and wanting them to like me one. Maresie.

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I have not wrote in a while but I am on reading whenever I feel I need my al-anon jolt, like coffee. I feel an ease about my program right now and I know I am exactlty where I need to be. When I make mistakes, I don't have my melt downs in my head anymore. I just accept it and move forward. I keep moving forward. M...

KateEN · KateEN

I've been battling feelings of jealousy in my relationship lately. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and is actually extremely trustworthy and honest. However, I have been having feelings of jealousy about his ex-girlfriend, coworkers, and friends lately. It's so irrational and I don't want...

daisy31 · daisy31

We have a little boy who comes to play at our house with my kids and he is the sweetest most amazing little boy. His home life is not so good and we have always tried to keep a decent relationship with his parents because we want this little guy to be able to keep coming over. So the other day the little boy co...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hey everyone. So my ex ABF did end up going to his training program. I doubted if he was actually going to leave. But he is gone for two months. We left on good terms and agreed to talk to each other but to take time to work on ourselves and figure out what we need in a partner. Im a little torn right now because s...

julesredgirl · julesredgirl

I am just sad today. Crying a lot since yesterday. which started out for no reason. I just woke up really depressed and angry. Im not sure if its cause Im a woman and it is that time, or Im emotionally drained from all that's been going on, or just physically drained cause I cant remember the last time I had a...

Cosmos · Cosmos

Hi I have earlier written about my rollercoaster of a life, very much evolving around my alcoholic in recovery. I studied in England for three years and finally got my bachelor degree in marine biology after last summer. That last year of my studies I lived with my then former girlfriend. She becam...

Melody F · Melody F

So happy to have found this forum! I've been a grateful member of Alanon for many years but I've never been part of an online group before. I really look forward to sharing and learning with you all!

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

I had sort of a lightbulb moment about unhappiness and lack of intimacy, I know we've discusses this before. I go through periods in my life of having fantasys of affairs, I know it's wrong but it is just in my head. I'm far too uptight and have too great a conscience to really ever do that! But I was thinkin...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

All my stuff just got mentally vomited to the top. I work in a high stress, high complication job industry, highly compensated but not worth the insanity we live with. I applied with another department (I like my employer not my department) knowing it's less pay and ok with that. But oh...my....HP...

orchidlover · orchidlover

As many of you know I'm going through a hard time with finances and logistics at the moment. I have been barely making it. Normally I would be full of resenmtment towards various people and issues about my situation. Last night I spent a lovely evening at home with my pets, watching dvd's and catching...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I've gotten very good at just ignoring my AH's rages and removing myself from his presence when he loses his temper. Result? The alcoholism finds a new way to get to me. My AH has toned down the rages a lot (which don't get me wrong, is a WONDERFUL thing). So the alcoholism has whispered in his ear that h...

thechee · thechee

and everyone was so nice. Of course it being my first time I did not share a lot and was a bit standoffish...not mean, just quiet. Now I can't stop crying. Why did I do this to myself? Why did I get involved when all those red flags were flying high? I'm...sad...feel sorry for myself....feel angry at mysel...

brit · brit

I feel awful. Just a few days ago I posted about my 25 yr old son, saying that I thought he was still drinking, but not sure. I was feeling very confused. Well, I had a chat with him. Stopped trying to control his life and his using. Told him that the only house rule was no drinking or getting high. He cried, he...

arie1269 · arie1269

Hello everyone, i am in need of some serious help!! To make a long story short my mom has become an alcoholic. All my life she has always been addicted to something 6 months ago it was pills, but the doctors stopped giving them to her so she started drinking and drinking and drinking. My plan is because i ha...

Lauren87 · Lauren87

I'm brand new to this. All of this. I wanted to do a quick intro... My name is Lauren. I'm 30. And I'm "lucky" enough to be married to an alcoholic. We've been married for 3 years (well almost) and for the last 2 he's been drinking...heavily. And I recently discovered he's using xanax too. I ha...

sunnysmile · sunnysmile

My alcoholic boyfriend relapsed this evening. He had 3 months of sobriety under his belt. I realize that's not a long time and that he was still considered to be very early in his recovery. But still, those 3 months were very good, strong months. I'm not even sure what prompted the drink this evening. I'...

Bree · Bree

Hi all...tonight my dad (who hasn't had a drink in over 2 years) got into an argument with my bother and got drunk. I don't know what to do or say to help anyone in the situation (my mom or dad). They are on the mainland and I'm in Hawaii so it isn't as easy as flying there just to be supportive. This hasn't been...

HAguirre · HAguirre

My ah has been sober for 9 months and he said he doesn't rember hurting me so he won't say his admens to me why I don't understand any advice

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

I am working the Alanon steps. My husband is an active alcoholic. One of my biggest issues right now is that he blames me for everything. I am learning to let that go without acting like a martyr or getting angry. It's really hard, but I am learning to keep my mouth shut and ignore it. One thing I can't ignor...

stephaniej · stephaniej

She was hospitalized on Saturday night with a systemic, antibiotic-resistent staph infection. Her health is very poor.

Grace7 · Grace7

I Wish! I would have known that my ex's addiction impaired his circulatory system, so much so that his organ was in operable:) A nicer way to say it. In true alcoholic fashion, he berated me again and again for his inability to function....it was MY fault! He even yelled at me in front of my adolescent...

orchidlover · orchidlover

Another co worker of mine at the store is pregnant. She is a young, unwed mother and does not have many resources. Needless to say the store manager isn't giving her more hours to help her out financially. Normally I would be adopting someone like this as my pet project. I would be worrying about what s...

Oksie · Oksie

As some of you may remember from my other sign on name... I have some major and massive control issues. Some people post things about controlling their spouses drinking and rationale that they wouldn't control other parts of the partners life, so why alcohol.. well.. I am guilty of controlling ever...

youngnlost · youngnlost

Hello All, I am new here as I have stumbled upon this site while looking for meeting information in my town. I have read some of the posts here and really feel a connection. I am going to tell my story, as it is one you have all heard before, but I feel like I need to let someone know the burden I have carried. I...

thechee · thechee

I posted yesterday and everyone was so wonderful. I looked for Al Anon meetings here and the closest one is 58 miles from here. I don't get that, but what can I do? My question is...does it seems that alcoholics start drama even when they are sober? I ask because my soon to be ex seemed to go out of his way to p...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was seriously thinking about getting ahold of my first boyfriend recently whom I do not hate by the way! I tried to reach out--foolishly but realized that he is not someone I really want to catch up w/. Last time I saw him he was sober & still attending AA meetings. I just thought that I might like to k...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...bear with me as I tag on to Young's post "Clarity" for the moment with 2 more cents. When I read a post that includes mention of violence within the disease my "Spidey" senses go into full alert from my own experiences in the disease and as an Alternatives To Vio...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

As I have gone through this process of recovery, I think I have learned most about how my HP works. My HP certainly doesn't make things easy, and it's not all about instant gratification. I have felt multiple times where I have been pushed & challenged, where I have felt hopeless and fed up, where th...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I feel so stupid today for my post on Sat. I really feel I should have not mentioned that exbf situation. I guess I was feeling a little sentimental & really stretching going back in time. Why can't I just close the door? I sometimes think that I do that because my Ah is not interesting enough--what...

willowtree · willowtree

We are planning on going to see a friend of mine this summer and her and her family have never met my husband and kids. I am already starting to worry how my kids will behave (they are very wild and rambunxious and fight a lot) and my friends kids are so well behaved and they come from a very calm, almost perf...

Hope999 · Hope999

Does anyone have a book recommendation aimed at the families of alcoholics who are not currently drinking and not in a recovery program? I bought the book "Getting them Sober" and while I agree there is some really great information here, it is aimed at the spouse of an active alcoholic....

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I've been letting my A/A daughter clean my house 1xwk. for several months, I got her cable on my credit card, (she needed a credit card) to have it turned on and that come out of the cleaning fees. We have had some conflict from time to time, me letting her have money up front. There was a big problem with c...

rara avis · rara avis

Hi everyone! The serenity buster: I came home from 1 day out of town to find a bouquet of lillies, no card, on my doorstep. I can't fathom who I know who would drop flowers off sans card, I asked around anyway but no one had a clue. This detail is important as the cards were dropped off on the day of my ex RA'...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I prayed for clarity and wow did HP deliver!!! I have communicated more with my AH in the past week then in the previous 9 months. We sat on the porch yesterday and talked for hours. He hasn't had a drink since Thursday, and I know that this could change at any time his recovery is his own, I simply asked him t...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

(tried to fix formatting, missed some) I'm no expert on anything, well except for my own life

This will be long - I won't be hurt if you don't read it LOL. I thought I'd share the "healthy detachment" perspective as it relates to someone who isnt an alcoholic. Because healthy detac...

HAguirre · HAguirre

OK so my husband is now 9 months sober and within the past 2. Weeks he has started to get emotionally mean again. I feel emotionally tired and he sayhes going to help but doesn't I work 7 days a week he works 3 and he says mean things to me when I take naps before I go to work he just told me that if I keep making him...

Oksie · Oksie

HI I usually take the day off from work for my daughters anniversary etc. I think last year I didnt' because I had taken holidays and also had put in my resignation from that job. Today I was going to go to work. Last night I wondered why I would make this year different. 22 years why this year different...

maire rua · maire rua

Am doing ok, collected son this afternoon as we need to prepare for his move down south. He threw wobblers and was quite difficult. I felt quite stressed but got to a meeting and it passed. Told him that I could not envisage him living under my roof again and indeed I cannot at present. It has been a very st...

thechee · thechee

Its been 4 weeks NC...he's called twice 'blocked' and I didn't answer. I can't believe this is happening. Tho I was officially the dumper...it feels no better as I didn't want to leave I felt forced to. I had to choose between my sanity or his alcoholic selfishness. I chose to save myself. I miss him (the...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

By it, I mean any sense of serenity or peace or anything that would be considered a sign of successfuly working my program. I don't know what has caused this but I feel almost like I'm back at the beginning. Completely focused on my wife and what she is doing or not doing. Happy when she is happy and unhappy...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH and I have been having some very intense conversations about my feelings and about my intentions for myself in the future. How I am ready to set up boundaries and how I expect myself to behave from now on. I've shared a lot of my fears. I've cried a lot. And, he's just been there, being supportive...

KateEN · KateEN

Taking care of myself is a completely new concept. I've always been the people pleaser- I'm the one who would always say yes without hesitation. Today I said I would show up to an event even though didn't want to. The trains ended up being a mess and it would have been over an hour commute & the thoug...

Jerry F · Jerry F

but never my life. Aloha Family...I made a long overdue contact with an an ex-sponsor this afternoon who was still friendly and close to my major sponsor in Al-Anon. We all use to hang together and so I was in great recovery company. The news came that Don T, passed into the "other" room in...

mr5191 · mr5191

Third post on this board. Been riding the ups and downs of living with an alcoholic. Good days and bad days. My AW is going to AA meetings almost every night but still actively drinking. Kind of wonder why she even bothers on going. She openly admits she cannot control it. While at her meetings, sh...

Pushka · Pushka

LOL!! Boy did I get a reality check. I no longer have the luxury to feel sorry for myself. I did wake up today feeling like son of a gun, I want to have a temper tantrum and darn it I want MY way RIGHT NOW!!! HA HA .. I'll let you know how that's working for me .. LOL!! I'm going to wind up going over another log...

daisy31 · daisy31

I was being nosy the other day about our neighbors and my son told me "Mom, stay in your own hoola-hoop!" I so needed to hear those words from them. I like teaching them about this program for many ways.... keeping their momma in check works too! :D

Oksie · Oksie

I posted this on the ACOA board as I guess its more dealing with that side of things.... but I know many of you are ACOA but just dont go to that board.... so thought I would post here too. Would be great to hear some of the wise words of you guys over there though... theres only a few of us active on the site. Hi...

sirchef · sirchef

Well just a little note about this site. It has been a god send for so many of us. We have been truly blessed to have a venue to come and find help and comfort. Recently the chat room meetings have been experiencing a leadership vacuum. Never enough chairs, dwindling attendance because of a lack of consis...

RR · RR

On March 4th I entered this community. Just to review, I have been in a relationship with my husband for 3 1/2 years and married for almost a year. He has been an alcholic for most of his life. I have been tolerated this since we met. At first we drank together. I truly didn't know he had such a deep problem. L...

AlexisK · AlexisK

Where do I start? I feel so stupid, and naive, for believing that my husband was actually keeping his promise, that he had stopped drinking. He doesn't get fall down drunk, not at first. He begins slowly, sneaking (always sneaking, never in front of me or anybody else) a few beers- admittedly behin...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I attended an anniversary meeting for the first time last night (not sure if these are common at all Al Anon groups?). We had 3 speakers, one from AA, one from Alateen, and one from Al Anon. It was a great meeting and really rejuvinated me. The AA speaker talked about how being drunk made her feel alive and...

Alea · Alea

I'm new here. There is one alcoholic and one recovered alcoholic in my mother's immediate family. I hardly have a story to tell about them because I totally and completely avoid them, and have since I was a little kid. But...it's like there's a second-hand effect. I ended up dating an alcoholic (4 year...

rehprof · rehprof

ex A shows up to pick up 15 year old. Mild alcohol smell..leftover from last night? scares me bc my 9 year old was with him yesterday Feeling guilty that I didn't breathalzye him before letting him take my 15 year old... he has no job, no money, offers not one dime for child support.... he tells me he got a gr...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I have to laugh so I don't cry. I've been at my current career for 6 years, promoted twice. I guess because I'd have to admit I'm an enabler here. Since I'm a single mom and my ex provides zero financial support for my kids, I do what I have to for a paycheck and am actively looking outside for a new job. I di...

amills4294 · amills4294

I like the message and guidance this program offers. I believe many would benefit from it even if they don't have alcohol in their lives. My spouse and I are also in counseling and the format and philosophy is so very different than what we learn in this program to the point that I feel conflicted. She r...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

So, Ive been working my program and doing pretty well. I thought my ah was doing well too, until today. I left yesterday on a business trip. I get a text today from a woman I don't know explaining she went to school w my husband and that last night he sent her a text that only read "?", she says he pr...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I saw a tax lawyer today and will see my tax advisor tomorrow. I'm so exhausted by the huge mess I am in due to my AH's business mess. I can't fix it- it's out of my hands. I didn't cause it, yet I might lose everything I have worked hard for. This is not right. The anger that is inside me right now is all consumin...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

Since I truly gave up my life to my HP and started to live in reality, I have noticed a coorelation. Each time I have made a conscious choice to accept life on life's terms, something wonderful opens up for me. You might recall from past posts that I have been struggling with losing my in-laws. It's real...

Pushka · Pushka

AND this time no flipping over backwards on logs .. geeze!! No great pithanies of healing, and no need to analyze what I'm doing or not doing. I couldn't get the stupid mower started now I'm thinking I want one of those push button starters. I've never started a mower like this before so that will wait...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	More progress not perfection. (Preview) For the past 18 months at the store I work at I've weathered a split shift any time there was one. This week I said no. I had to cross the bridge of knowing they were not going to take care of me to get to that one. I prefer this side of the bridge to the hoping and wanting them to like me one. Maresie.	orchidlover	5	311	Mar 29, 2012 by orchidlover
	recovery, so far (Preview) I have not wrote in a while but I am on reading whenever I feel I need my al-anon jolt, like coffee. I feel an ease about my program right now and I know I am exactlty where I need to be. When I make mistakes, I don't have my melt downs in my head anymore. I just accept it and move forward. I keep moving forward. M...	Michelle814	10	472	Mar 29, 2012 by glad lee
	Hidden Jealousy Jealousy insecurity (Preview) I've been battling feelings of jealousy in my relationship lately. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and is actually extremely trustworthy and honest. However, I have been having feelings of jealousy about his ex-girlfriend, coworkers, and friends lately. It's so irrational and I don't want...	KateEN	5	766	Mar 29, 2012 by maryjane
	Did I make the right choice? (Preview) We have a little boy who comes to play at our house with my kids and he is the sweetest most amazing little boy. His home life is not so good and we have always tried to keep a decent relationship with his parents because we want this little guy to be able to keep coming over. So the other day the little boy co...	daisy31	13	532	Mar 29, 2012 by BRAlanon
	Confused (Preview) Hey everyone. So my ex ABF did end up going to his training program. I doubted if he was actually going to leave. But he is gone for two months. We left on good terms and agreed to talk to each other but to take time to work on ourselves and figure out what we need in a partner. Im a little torn right now because s...	Corgi2	7	483	Mar 29, 2012 by pinkchip
	Sad and exhausted. (Preview) I am just sad today. Crying a lot since yesterday. which started out for no reason. I just woke up really depressed and angry. Im not sure if its cause Im a woman and it is that time, or Im emotionally drained from all that's been going on, or just physically drained cause I cant remember the last time I had a...	julesredgirl	3	418	Mar 29, 2012 by pinkchip
	Dilemma (Preview) Hi I have earlier written about my rollercoaster of a life, very much evolving around my alcoholic in recovery. I studied in England for three years and finally got my bachelor degree in marine biology after last summer. That last year of my studies I lived with my then former girlfriend. She becam...	Cosmos	4	489	Mar 29, 2012 by hotrod
	New to this forum (Preview) So happy to have found this forum! I've been a grateful member of Alanon for many years but I've never been part of an online group before. I really look forward to sharing and learning with you all!	Melody F	6	316	Mar 29, 2012 by abbyal
	Lack of intimacy= unhappiness (Preview) I had sort of a lightbulb moment about unhappiness and lack of intimacy, I know we've discusses this before. I go through periods in my life of having fantasys of affairs, I know it's wrong but it is just in my head. I'm far too uptight and have too great a conscience to really ever do that! But I was thinkin...	GreenerGrass	5	653	Mar 29, 2012 by Aloha
	All my stuff LOL (Preview) All my stuff just got mentally vomited to the top. I work in a high stress, high complication job industry, highly compensated but not worth the insanity we live with. I applied with another department (I like my employer not my department) knowing it's less pay and ok with that. But oh...my....HP...	AStrongerMe	7	541	Mar 29, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Relaxation (Preview) As many of you know I'm going through a hard time with finances and logistics at the moment. I have been barely making it. Normally I would be full of resenmtment towards various people and issues about my situation. Last night I spent a lovely evening at home with my pets, watching dvd's and catching...	orchidlover	2	379	Mar 29, 2012 by hotrod
	Dang, alcoholism is SMART (Preview) I've gotten very good at just ignoring my AH's rages and removing myself from his presence when he loses his temper. Result? The alcoholism finds a new way to get to me. My AH has toned down the rages a lot (which don't get me wrong, is a WONDERFUL thing). So the alcoholism has whispered in his ear that h...	stephaniej	8	543	Mar 29, 2012 by Jerry F
	So I Went To My first Al Anon Meeting.... (Preview) and everyone was so nice. Of course it being my first time I did not share a lot and was a bit standoffish...not mean, just quiet. Now I can't stop crying. Why did I do this to myself? Why did I get involved when all those red flags were flying high? I'm...sad...feel sorry for myself....feel angry at mysel...	thechee	10	508	Mar 28, 2012 by thechee
	I put him out (Preview) I feel awful. Just a few days ago I posted about my 25 yr old son, saying that I thought he was still drinking, but not sure. I was feeling very confused. Well, I had a chat with him. Stopped trying to control his life and his using. Told him that the only house rule was no drinking or getting high. He cried, he...	brit	5	413	Mar 28, 2012 by BRAlanon
	I need help with my mom (Preview) Hello everyone, i am in need of some serious help!! To make a long story short my mom has become an alcoholic. All my life she has always been addicted to something 6 months ago it was pills, but the doctors stopped giving them to her so she started drinking and drinking and drinking. My plan is because i ha...	arie1269	6	650	Mar 28, 2012 by orchidlover
	Hi...I'm new (Preview) I'm brand new to this. All of this. I wanted to do a quick intro... My name is Lauren. I'm 30. And I'm "lucky" enough to be married to an alcoholic. We've been married for 3 years (well almost) and for the last 2 he's been drinking...heavily. And I recently discovered he's using xanax too. I ha...	Lauren87	8	409	Mar 28, 2012 by canadianguy
	Feel so overwhelmed ... (Preview) My alcoholic boyfriend relapsed this evening. He had 3 months of sobriety under his belt. I realize that's not a long time and that he was still considered to be very early in his recovery. But still, those 3 months were very good, strong months. I'm not even sure what prompted the drink this evening. I'...	sunnysmile	6	540	Mar 28, 2012 by julesredgirl
	Dad relapse (Preview) Hi all...tonight my dad (who hasn't had a drink in over 2 years) got into an argument with my bother and got drunk. I don't know what to do or say to help anyone in the situation (my mom or dad). They are on the mainland and I'm in Hawaii so it isn't as easy as flying there just to be supportive. This hasn't been...	Bree	3	472	Mar 28, 2012 by Corgi2
	never said he was sorry (Preview) My ah has been sober for 9 months and he said he doesn't rember hurting me so he won't say his admens to me why I don't understand any advice	HAguirre	16	756	Mar 28, 2012 by Oksie
	Need Advice Hurting (Preview) I am working the Alanon steps. My husband is an active alcoholic. One of my biggest issues right now is that he blames me for everything. I am learning to let that go without acting like a martyr or getting angry. It's really hard, but I am learning to keep my mouth shut and ignore it. One thing I can't ignor...	TryingToChange	11	494	Mar 28, 2012 by TryingToChange
	Could y'all add my mom to your prayers today? (Preview) She was hospitalized on Saturday night with a systemic, antibiotic-resistent staph infection. Her health is very poor.	stephaniej	6	332	Mar 28, 2012 by Grace7
	Sexuality in the Alcoholic (Preview) I Wish! I would have known that my ex's addiction impaired his circulatory system, so much so that his organ was in operable:) A nicer way to say it. In true alcoholic fashion, he berated me again and again for his inability to function....it was MY fault! He even yelled at me in front of my adolescent...	Grace7	3	493	Mar 28, 2012 by Oksie
	Progress not perfection (Preview) Another co worker of mine at the store is pregnant. She is a young, unwed mother and does not have many resources. Needless to say the store manager isn't giving her more hours to help her out financially. Normally I would be adopting someone like this as my pet project. I would be worrying about what s...	orchidlover	2	392	Mar 28, 2012 by orchidlover
	Controlling my control issues (Preview) As some of you may remember from my other sign on name... I have some major and massive control issues. Some people post things about controlling their spouses drinking and rationale that they wouldn't control other parts of the partners life, so why alcohol.. well.. I am guilty of controlling ever...	Oksie	7	3046	Mar 28, 2012 by Oksie
	New to this :( (Preview) Hello All, I am new here as I have stumbled upon this site while looking for meeting information in my town. I have read some of the posts here and really feel a connection. I am going to tell my story, as it is one you have all heard before, but I feel like I need to let someone know the burden I have carried. I...	youngnlost	11	352	Mar 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	Are alcoholics drama kings/queens? (Preview) I posted yesterday and everyone was so wonderful. I looked for Al Anon meetings here and the closest one is 58 miles from here. I don't get that, but what can I do? My question is...does it seems that alcoholics start drama even when they are sober? I ask because my soon to be ex seemed to go out of his way to p...	thechee	12	4181	Mar 27, 2012 by All I can be
	don't want to step in that DO! (Preview) I was seriously thinking about getting ahold of my first boyfriend recently whom I do not hate by the way! I tried to reach out--foolishly but realized that he is not someone I really want to catch up w/. Last time I saw him he was sober & still attending AA meetings. I just thought that I might like to k...	Hoot Nanny	2	314	Mar 27, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Alcoholism and Violence of any kind (Preview) Aloha Family...bear with me as I tag on to Young's post "Clarity" for the moment with 2 more cents. When I read a post that includes mention of violence within the disease my "Spidey" senses go into full alert from my own experiences in the disease and as an Alternatives To Vio...	Jerry F	6	961	Mar 27, 2012 by Wolfie55
	This too shall pass... (Preview) As I have gone through this process of recovery, I think I have learned most about how my HP works. My HP certainly doesn't make things easy, and it's not all about instant gratification. I have felt multiple times where I have been pushed & challenged, where I have felt hopeless and fed up, where th...	usedtobeanyer	3	589	Mar 27, 2012 by willowtree
	I feel so stupid... (Preview) I feel so stupid today for my post on Sat. I really feel I should have not mentioned that exbf situation. I guess I was feeling a little sentimental & really stretching going back in time. Why can't I just close the door? I sometimes think that I do that because my Ah is not interesting enough--what...	Hoot Nanny	3	335	Mar 27, 2012 by Wolfie55
	worrying what they will think (Preview) We are planning on going to see a friend of mine this summer and her and her family have never met my husband and kids. I am already starting to worry how my kids will behave (they are very wild and rambunxious and fight a lot) and my friends kids are so well behaved and they come from a very calm, almost perf...	willowtree	6	550	Mar 27, 2012 by willowtree
	Book Recommendations??? (Preview) Does anyone have a book recommendation aimed at the families of alcoholics who are not currently drinking and not in a recovery program? I bought the book "Getting them Sober" and while I agree there is some really great information here, it is aimed at the spouse of an active alcoholic....	Hope999	12	567	Mar 27, 2012 by Hope999
	A new day! (Preview) I've been letting my A/A daughter clean my house 1xwk. for several months, I got her cable on my credit card, (she needed a credit card) to have it turned on and that come out of the cleaning fees. We have had some conflict from time to time, me letting her have money up front. There was a big problem with c...	Highlyfavored	1	358	Mar 27, 2012 by Grace7
	Gratitude: modern technology! (Preview) Hi everyone! The serenity buster: I came home from 1 day out of town to find a bouquet of lillies, no card, on my doorstep. I can't fathom who I know who would drop flowers off sans card, I asked around anyway but no one had a clue. This detail is important as the cards were dropped off on the day of my ex RA'...	rara avis	5	412	Mar 27, 2012 by rara avis
	Clarity (Preview) I prayed for clarity and wow did HP deliver!!! I have communicated more with my AH in the past week then in the previous 9 months. We sat on the porch yesterday and talked for hours. He hasn't had a drink since Thursday, and I know that this could change at any time his recovery is his own, I simply asked him t...	Jackie11	5	440	Mar 27, 2012 by Michelle814
	Detachment, still learning (Preview) (tried to fix formatting, missed some) I'm no expert on anything, well except for my own life This will be long - I won't be hurt if you don't read it LOL. I thought I'd share the "healthy detachment" perspective as it relates to someone who isnt an alcoholic. Because healthy detac...	AStrongerMe	6	615	Mar 27, 2012 by Oksie
	though it would get better (Preview) OK so my husband is now 9 months sober and within the past 2. Weeks he has started to get emotionally mean again. I feel emotionally tired and he sayhes going to help but doesn't I work 7 days a week he works 3 and he says mean things to me when I take naps before I go to work he just told me that if I keep making him...	HAguirre	2	507	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	taking the time (Preview) HI I usually take the day off from work for my daughters anniversary etc. I think last year I didnt' because I had taken holidays and also had put in my resignation from that job. Today I was going to go to work. Last night I wondered why I would make this year different. 22 years why this year different...	Oksie	3	412	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	update on crazy days (Preview) Am doing ok, collected son this afternoon as we need to prepare for his move down south. He threw wobblers and was quite difficult. I felt quite stressed but got to a meeting and it passed. Told him that I could not envisage him living under my roof again and indeed I cannot at present. It has been a very st...	maire rua	3	342	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Same old sob story, but new to me.... (Preview) Its been 4 weeks NC...he's called twice 'blocked' and I didn't answer. I can't believe this is happening. Tho I was officially the dumper...it feels no better as I didn't want to leave I felt forced to. I had to choose between my sanity or his alcoholic selfishness. I chose to save myself. I miss him (the...	thechee	9	851	Mar 27, 2012 by Auntyaya
	I've lost it, I know how to get it back, but not sure I want it (Preview) By it, I mean any sense of serenity or peace or anything that would be considered a sign of successfuly working my program. I don't know what has caused this but I feel almost like I'm back at the beginning. Completely focused on my wife and what she is doing or not doing. Happy when she is happy and unhappy...	usedtobeanyer	13	605	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	My best friend is back, and I'm scared (Preview) My AH and I have been having some very intense conversations about my feelings and about my intentions for myself in the future. How I am ready to set up boundaries and how I expect myself to behave from now on. I've shared a lot of my fears. I've cried a lot. And, he's just been there, being supportive...	ilovedogs	8	528	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Taking care of myself? Without guilt?! People pleasing (Preview) Taking care of myself is a completely new concept. I've always been the people pleaser- I'm the one who would always say yes without hesitation. Today I said I would show up to an event even though didn't want to. The trains ended up being a mess and it would have been over an hour commute & the thoug...	KateEN	6	672	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Don T has left the room... (Preview) but never my life. Aloha Family...I made a long overdue contact with an an ex-sponsor this afternoon who was still friendly and close to my major sponsor in Al-Anon. We all use to hang together and so I was in great recovery company. The news came that Don T, passed into the "other" room in...	Jerry F	8	438	Mar 26, 2012 by canadianguy
	accepting relationships in AA??? (Preview) Third post on this board. Been riding the ups and downs of living with an alcoholic. Good days and bad days. My AW is going to AA meetings almost every night but still actively drinking. Kind of wonder why she even bothers on going. She openly admits she cannot control it. While at her meetings, sh...	mr5191	10	650	Mar 26, 2012 by mr5191
	Feeling sorry for myself .. (Preview) LOL!! Boy did I get a reality check. I no longer have the luxury to feel sorry for myself. I did wake up today feeling like son of a gun, I want to have a temper tantrum and darn it I want MY way RIGHT NOW!!! HA HA .. I'll let you know how that's working for me .. LOL!! I'm going to wind up going over another log...	Pushka	10	578	Mar 26, 2012 by nyc018
	Something funny with my kiddos. (Preview) I was being nosy the other day about our neighbors and my son told me "Mom, stay in your own hoola-hoop!" I so needed to hear those words from them. I like teaching them about this program for many ways.... keeping their momma in check works too! :D	daisy31	5	342	Mar 26, 2012 by abbyal
	My daugter (Preview) I posted this on the ACOA board as I guess its more dealing with that side of things.... but I know many of you are ACOA but just dont go to that board.... so thought I would post here too. Would be great to hear some of the wise words of you guys over there though... theres only a few of us active on the site. Hi...	Oksie	13	599	Mar 26, 2012 by pineapple
	use it or lose it? (Preview) Well just a little note about this site. It has been a god send for so many of us. We have been truly blessed to have a venue to come and find help and comfort. Recently the chat room meetings have been experiencing a leadership vacuum. Never enough chairs, dwindling attendance because of a lack of consis...	sirchef	6	419	Mar 26, 2012 by wp
	I feel like a fool (Preview) On March 4th I entered this community. Just to review, I have been in a relationship with my husband for 3 1/2 years and married for almost a year. He has been an alcholic for most of his life. I have been tolerated this since we met. At first we drank together. I truly didn't know he had such a deep problem. L...	RR	11	592	Mar 26, 2012 by I am lost
	New to this... (Preview) Where do I start? I feel so stupid, and naive, for believing that my husband was actually keeping his promise, that he had stopped drinking. He doesn't get fall down drunk, not at first. He begins slowly, sneaking (always sneaking, never in front of me or anybody else) a few beers- admittedly behin...	AlexisK	6	464	Mar 26, 2012 by pinkchip
	Anniversary meeting (Preview) I attended an anniversary meeting for the first time last night (not sure if these are common at all Al Anon groups?). We had 3 speakers, one from AA, one from Alateen, and one from Al Anon. It was a great meeting and really rejuvinated me. The AA speaker talked about how being drunk made her feel alive and...	usedtobeanyer	5	310	Mar 25, 2012 by Jerry F
	I Have a Crazy Life Inside My Head (Preview) I'm new here. There is one alcoholic and one recovered alcoholic in my mother's immediate family. I hardly have a story to tell about them because I totally and completely avoid them, and have since I was a little kid. But...it's like there's a second-hand effect. I ended up dating an alcoholic (4 year...	Alea	5	550	Mar 25, 2012 by Jerry F
	Feeling all Zen...and then... (Preview) ex A shows up to pick up 15 year old. Mild alcohol smell..leftover from last night? scares me bc my 9 year old was with him yesterday Feeling guilty that I didn't breathalzye him before letting him take my 15 year old... he has no job, no money, offers not one dime for child support.... he tells me he got a gr...	rehprof	6	579	Mar 24, 2012 by Jerry F
	My Management Team at Work are Classic Alcoholic Behaviors (Preview) I have to laugh so I don't cry. I've been at my current career for 6 years, promoted twice. I guess because I'd have to admit I'm an enabler here. Since I'm a single mom and my ex provides zero financial support for my kids, I do what I have to for a paycheck and am actively looking outside for a new job. I di...	AStrongerMe	5	530	Mar 24, 2012 by Michelle814
	drained after counseling session - need some strength (Preview) I like the message and guidance this program offers. I believe many would benefit from it even if they don't have alcohol in their lives. My spouse and I are also in counseling and the format and philosophy is so very different than what we learn in this program to the point that I feel conflicted. She r...	amills4294	7	641	Mar 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	Why now! (Preview) So, Ive been working my program and doing pretty well. I thought my ah was doing well too, until today. I left yesterday on a business trip. I get a text today from a woman I don't know explaining she went to school w my husband and that last night he sent her a text that only read "?", she says he pr...	surfgirl123	6	532	Mar 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	So Exhausted by All of This (Preview) I saw a tax lawyer today and will see my tax advisor tomorrow. I'm so exhausted by the huge mess I am in due to my AH's business mess. I can't fix it- it's out of my hands. I didn't cause it, yet I might lose everything I have worked hard for. This is not right. The anger that is inside me right now is all consumin...	Green Eyes	6	566	Mar 24, 2012 by Green Eyes
	Radical Acceptance (Preview) Since I truly gave up my life to my HP and started to live in reality, I have noticed a coorelation. Each time I have made a conscious choice to accept life on life's terms, something wonderful opens up for me. You might recall from past posts that I have been struggling with losing my in-laws. It's real...	Dolly Llama	8	633	Mar 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Burning again .. LOL! (Preview) AND this time no flipping over backwards on logs .. geeze!! No great pithanies of healing, and no need to analyze what I'm doing or not doing. I couldn't get the stupid mower started now I'm thinking I want one of those push button starters. I've never started a mower like this before so that will wait...	Pushka	10	527	Mar 24, 2012 by Pushka
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.