Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

So, Ive been working my program and doing pretty well. I thought my ah was doing well too, until today. I left yesterday on a business trip. I get a text today from a woman I don't know explaining she went to school w my husband and that last night he sent her a text that only read "?", she says he pr...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I saw a tax lawyer today and will see my tax advisor tomorrow. I'm so exhausted by the huge mess I am in due to my AH's business mess. I can't fix it- it's out of my hands. I didn't cause it, yet I might lose everything I have worked hard for. This is not right. The anger that is inside me right now is all consumin...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

Since I truly gave up my life to my HP and started to live in reality, I have noticed a coorelation. Each time I have made a conscious choice to accept life on life's terms, something wonderful opens up for me. You might recall from past posts that I have been struggling with losing my in-laws. It's real...

Pushka · Pushka

AND this time no flipping over backwards on logs .. geeze!! No great pithanies of healing, and no need to analyze what I'm doing or not doing. I couldn't get the stupid mower started now I'm thinking I want one of those push button starters. I've never started a mower like this before so that will wait...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

My life for the past 9 months has been in a word exhausting. I've been actively participating in Al-Anon for the past 5 months. I've learned, I've grown, I've most certainly appreciated this board and the program! A pattern had developed in my marriage. Something would come up about every 2 weeks and m...

daisy31 · daisy31

I saw this on FB this morning and I liked it so I thought I would share with ya'll. "I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours and Gods. Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our business. When I think, You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on t...

nyc018 · nyc018

There have been some posts on spouses/significant others who are sober, either working a program or not, and I thought Id chime in with my own issue. My AH and I separated last year after his drinking got out of control. After he, for lack of better term, lost his mind and got fired from his job, he entere...

Pushka · Pushka

I have to give myself an atta girl because I have just sorted through 2 years of paperwork on the inside of my house. I have cleared out 4 large totes as well as numerous plastic shopping bags (more than 9) of paperwork, garbage you name it. It has taken me 7 days or so to get through it all .. I just kept doing...

daisy31 · daisy31

Hey ya'll! I was wondering if getting overwhelmed easily was something that is common among people in the program. I remember my mother being EXTREMELY overwhelmed from things going on around her. She was very affected by alcohol in her growing up years but never really drank herself. Now bein...

daisy31 · daisy31

I was searching through old posts on this board and found this great interview someone posted awhile back. I thought I would post it again. It is really inspiring and it shows that ANYONE can be affected by this disease of alcoholism. I love how Ashley talks about recovery. http://www.bing.com...

respect · respect

My divorce will be final in a number of weeks. I have lived on my own since July. And most recently I've filed felony theft charges on my husband. I didn't want any of this. It still isn't what I want. But I felt they were the only choices I had left. Now I don't know what to do. He still has this idea that we can m...

pineapple · pineapple

My A has recently been on a non stop binge. Even with all of my alanon superpowers I admit that it was starting to get to me. The good news - a friend of ours is out of the country for a few months. I asked him if I could use his house while he is gone. He gave me the keys before he left. So I am currently enjoying hav...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can only make a short post as it is almost time to go! I am doing so well that I am not going to complain: not once today! God is so good to me & I am so grateful! I am even back to putting exclamation points at the end of my sentences!!!!!! To those of you who don't know me, I have bipolar disorder & I am k...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Yep that is right, ME. The guy was a perfect gentleman, took me bowling and to a nice dinner. He opened doors for me and paid for everything and looks forward to taking me out again, if I would allow it he said. I am thinking I am going to like this dating thing. I didn't feel like I owed him anything of myself (...

Pris · Pris

My husband drank a lot when we first got together. I didn't like it and since his mother is definitely an alcoholic, I told him I was concerned he would become an alcoholic too. Before we were married, he cut back his drinking to a couple of beers or glasses of wine a night and he has mostly kept to that for th...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

I thought my in laws and I were close. They called me their daughter. I opened up to them about my own family, who I do not have a relationship with. I really bonded with the children in the family as well. 2 weeks separated and none of them acknowledged my birthday. Not even a note on my stupid Facebook...

stephaniej · stephaniej

"If the grass is greener on the other side, it's time to water your grass." EXACTLY what I needed to see today. Thank you, HP, for sending me the message I needed for my own serenity and emotional health.

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi all, my wife is in recovery and things are going pretty well. We relate better to each other then we did a year or two ago, as we have both learned a lot about how to navigate through challenging times as a result of both of our programs. That being said, we are in no way connected on the level we once were. T...

gojojo · gojojo

Anyone married to a recovering alcohlic who also suffers from Borderline Personality disorder...or any other personality disorder (Bi-polar, Narcissistic Personality Disorder..they are similar). My wife is 8 months sober and was diagnosed with BPD in Nov. She is quite a handful. We have 3...

Oksie · Oksie

Hi.... previously on Oksie..... As many of you may remember, I have been away with work. My husband came with me and the location was his old city where he lived for 21 years and was a massive pot addict. He came with me to see his kids primarily and to catch up with friends. This means... .catch up wtih p...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

One Day at a Time...The Next Right Thing...etc. 2 weeks ago, my AH and I agreed to divorce. In 3 weeks, I face becoming homeless and am currently unemployed. Tomorrow is my 34th birthday. The grief and enormity of my situation hit me like a million pounds to the face last night. I am at peace with the e...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AH came by my office today (just drove to the curb- I didn't want to have him come into my office now that we are separated) to drop off some documents that I need in order to fight my way out of the IRS mess he has created. I asked him if he had paid the rent on our house (he has an arrangement with the mortgage...

Hope999 · Hope999

My alcoholic husband gave up drinking about 8 years ago when it was my way or the highway for him. He stopped drinking cold turkey and without the support of a major group or program. At the time, I thought that was ok because we have two children (ages 6 and 8) and he is a good and loving father. I truly beli...

dianah · dianah

Hello, I am a stay at home homeschooler with five children at home. Last year my husband underwent a massive heart attack and major heart surgery. His father died from alcoholism and addiction struggles have peppered our entire marriage. The heart attack has, for lack of a better term, heighten...

debbiems · debbiems

My AS 22 yrs old drove the pickup down our mile and a half dirt road, it has snowed and the road is horrible, needless to say he wrecked it. My husband came unglued. I have never seen him so angry and our AS has done alot of things but i guess this was the topping on the cake. He told our son that he has 3 weeks to g...

WantBetterforAll · WantBetterforAll

Hello, My first time here. I know the answer, I really do. I have seen so many posts on different sites about this. The answer is: I need to leave him behind, and focus on myself and my healing. He is (like they are) wonderful, handsome, charming beyond belief, talented. I have always felt that we had a &q...

brit · brit

Where do I start....I have a 25 year old son. after 3 DUIs in only a couple of months I realized he was an alcoholic. Not that I am stupid...just NEVER saw him drink or drunk! He agreed to rehab, and spent a month in. Court is finished and he has lost his license for 7 years and on probation for 1 1/2 years with a...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hey everyone, so the calls started again tnite - this time they weren't as bad because from the beginning I said I didn't want to get into an argument because I knew he had been drinking. He didn't even try to defend himself and let me get off the phone without a hassel. I have been very good about setting bo...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Am I allowed to say that in my thread title? I really am struggling with my emotions towards my AH. I get irritated at everything he says. I am totally on edge and I wonder if I love him anymore. It tears me apart to say that and I don't want it to be the end of our marriage but I am really struggling with wher...

maire rua · maire rua

We had an appointment with a counsellor at a treatment centre today. Unfortunately the counsellor made it clear that if I could not stay for the screening he would not see my son. It is recommended on their website that a family member would be present, however, it was more than a recommendation today....

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I have asked a bit about this topic before but will try to be more specific. I am an AAer for years now and just started going to ACA and Alanon. thru the steps thoroughly but can't sleep at night. I am oftentimes awake at 2 and 3 am and am absolutely exhausted all the time, bags under my eyes, full of fear, can...

daisy31 · daisy31

I am having trouble figuring out how to be able to get into the chat rooms. I would like to be able to do meetings some and chat as well but I can't figure it out. Is there some steps (haha no pun intended ;) on how to do this? Thanks so much for your help.

Grace7 · Grace7

There seems to be a gap in meetings lately. Has anyone else noticed this? What is up? Is there a need for more moderators? If so, someone in the know...contact me. I have come here for Years with the exception of my down time treating and recovering from cancer. Am healthy now!:) In all ways. I us...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So i logged into facebook and temptation got the best of me .. hate that .. i looked on my x's wall and he wrote to a girl asking her how she is, etc.. but i know him and i know he's trying to talk to her .. it's not paranoia .. it's a pattern after a breakup for him. As soon as i saw it, i felt sick .. i have recovery a...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Before I found MIP I had joined another online community for those who are involved with alcoholics or have dealt with alcoholism. Every once in a while I may post there, but I'm not as active there as I am here. Can I just say that this forum is the most loving and supportive forum I have ever been on? I p...

Pushka · Pushka

I don't know how many people are currently active in service work for alanon. I have to say this is one of the most rewarding aspects of the program for me. I gotta keep giving it away in order to keep it. We go to a treatment center for family night once a month and this is my first night to go to this partic...

jonidreamsingreen · jonidreamsingreen

Hi, just want to introduce myself. I am 33 years old. My mom has been an alcoholic for many years. It started as a way for her to cope with an emotionally abusive husband and has spiraled out of control. After thirty years of her being controlled by him, they finally got divorced. She lives with me and my tw...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I feel like it was a pretty big a-ha moment, that has been a long time coming. I've been sick since yesterday morning...sick as a dog in that food poisoning kind of way. Yuck. I went to work for awhile today and came home in the late morning to rest before picking up my little guy from day care (I'm home al...

Pushka · Pushka

All I can say is UGH UGH UGH!!! I'm really trying to accept God's Will and not impose what my will is because of the whole door #1 and door #2 deal .. what God has in door #2 is what I want. I know it's going to be so much better than what I think I want, because my little pea brain can't wrap my head around what tr...

Doozy · Doozy

Thank you for your wisdom, kind words and encouragement when I needed them last week. As you may know, I've been struggling with some new health problems, but I am feeling much better this week both physically and mentally. I sooo appreciate being able to come here to find kind, supportive people who u...

amills4294 · amills4294

I am really trying to work my program and try not to allow someone elses upset with me take me off track. The upset is their's to deal with. Logically I know that but logic is not persevering right now. I have a very difficult time being on the other end of someone elses upset with me. I need help to not al...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Gezz!!! is it closure that's got me, i dunno. But 7 months seperated and I miss him sooo much. Sold the house 3 weeks ago. He totaled the truck a week ago. The guy who killed his son pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 15 years just a few days ago. Lots of closure. OMG!!! i think i just got it!! for 7 mont...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Had a fine weekend...AH's birthday was on Sunday, and we had a nice day enjoying the gorgeous weather. My AH tried to get ugly with me, and DID get ugly with his dog last night, but I just refused to go there. That is getting soooo much easier for me. A year ago I would have taken the bait and the whole thin...

GeneralLee · GeneralLee

I really don't know where to begin. She (my wife) is passed out right now. Not sure if she passed out from booze or not. History: Post partum depression starting with our 4th child, born 7 months ago. Prior child she drank and breast fed daily. He has some slowed development in speech (he is 2 and is just...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

what makes me so mad too is that even if i am obssessing, the part in me that makes me so mad at myself is that noone and no amount of anything is worth giving away our power, dignity, or serenity .. it doesn't matter who or what it is and still i do it .. when i do this, i close the door to my possibilities of s...

orchidlover · orchidlover

the ex A who I have not been with for over 4 years now was someone who was really charming, sweet, kind and understanding. On his dark side he was mean, nasty, vindictive and controlling. What I have learned this week is that I had a pattern of seeking out the same as I knew as a child. My mother could be swee...

Tuesday · Tuesday

Need some help and advice. I have been married to the bipolar-alcoholic husband for 6 years. We separated (legally married but living separately) 2 years ago during his major meltdown. During the last couple of years he has been in 7 detoxes, 3 halfway houses, one inpatient treatment center(20 days...

rehprof · rehprof

Today's the day I officially end a 29 year marriage...another casuality of alcoholism. Please send ESH...as I have to testify...because I am the plaintiff in the divorce proceedings. My goal -- don't cry! and this too shall pass...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Just wanted to share that I recently moved back into my mom's house...I am in my mid twenties, so I guess its not that bad lol. But I am re painting my bedroom and getting everything brand new for a fresh start and I started ordering some artwork for my walls. One of them is a wall decal that reads "Keep...

daisy31 · daisy31

I am reading a book called When God winks at you and there is a quote in it and it says: I'm an old man and have known many troubles, but most of them never happened~Mark Twain This quote speaks to me so much because I have always lived inside my head so much that 99% of my worries never came true. Through Alan...

maire rua · maire rua

The follow up on my son's situation is that he is waiting for a place in rehab. There is a waiting list for six to eight weeks for this five month programme. Already he is manipulating how he can get to do what he wants. He still is staying with my father and tomorrow has a screening at a different centre whic...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So, I went to the meeting this morning on Step 3. When I share in these rooms, I realise there's a distinct possibility someone from my side will recognise my shares and am making the decision that, that's ok .. Remembering too though that absolutely nothing happens by mistake after step 3. This weeken...

willowtree · willowtree

It was my daughters birthday party last week and I really tried to remember the slogan "Keep in simple". I think I did relatively well. I love that slogan. There was another mom there who is somewhat of a friend who is a very nice lady but is very focused on things being orderly and she l...

hicktownmom · hicktownmom

Just wondering if there is somewhere that I can go to learn about what to expect during the first few days of my AHs recovery. So far, the words that come to mind are: withdrawn angry depressed beaten Are these normal? He hasn't started a treatment program yet (or gone to any meetings). He just stoppe...

rehprof · rehprof

A very good friend of mine asked me if I knew about the phenomenon of monkeys throwing poop. I told her yes (thinking -- what in the world is she talking about?) She then asked me if I knew WHY monkeys threw poop -- particularly in zoos, primates throw poop to get people to stop looking at them. This is a grea...

Oksie · Oksie

Hi. This is a kind of 'reminder' post as I changed my name here, and a reintroduction to new people while I ask for assistance. Next week, my husband and I (sound like the Queen now), will not only be going to the lions den, he will be patting the lion. As you all know, my husband is a pot addict. He expresse...

luckycharm11 · luckycharm11

I'm truly at a loss. I want my marriage with AH to be over, but I cannot leave. The short version is this: I was a professional, just starting out, and had three children from a previous marriage. I met my AH at work, and he is 18 years older than me. I was very naive (even at 30), because I had never been expose...

katiekate · katiekate

Just a week ago I recieved an email from him. He said everything I wanted to hear. This of course was after a a few weeks of not seeing each other, just emails, him mostly cutting me down in his very what he assumed underhanded way. So he emails me and tells me how much he misses me, he Loves me, love wit...

RR · RR

I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for over three years, married for almost a year. He is a functioning alchoholic. I have one child from a precious marriage and he has one from his previous marriage. I am currently starting my 6th month of pregnancy. He was recently in his second vcar accid...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

It's so hard for me to cope with the fact that my AH is going it alone in his quitting drinking. He's done great so far, but he's back to his old attitudes. He has comments about everybody, talks to the TV and makes fun of everything he sees and hears, and is basically sarcastic and irritating. What gets...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Why now! (Preview) So, Ive been working my program and doing pretty well. I thought my ah was doing well too, until today. I left yesterday on a business trip. I get a text today from a woman I don't know explaining she went to school w my husband and that last night he sent her a text that only read "?", she says he pr...	surfgirl123	6	506	Mar 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	So Exhausted by All of This (Preview) I saw a tax lawyer today and will see my tax advisor tomorrow. I'm so exhausted by the huge mess I am in due to my AH's business mess. I can't fix it- it's out of my hands. I didn't cause it, yet I might lose everything I have worked hard for. This is not right. The anger that is inside me right now is all consumin...	Green Eyes	6	536	Mar 24, 2012 by Green Eyes
	Radical Acceptance (Preview) Since I truly gave up my life to my HP and started to live in reality, I have noticed a coorelation. Each time I have made a conscious choice to accept life on life's terms, something wonderful opens up for me. You might recall from past posts that I have been struggling with losing my in-laws. It's real...	Dolly Llama	8	594	Mar 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Burning again .. LOL! (Preview) AND this time no flipping over backwards on logs .. geeze!! No great pithanies of healing, and no need to analyze what I'm doing or not doing. I couldn't get the stupid mower started now I'm thinking I want one of those push button starters. I've never started a mower like this before so that will wait...	Pushka	10	501	Mar 24, 2012 by Pushka
	Working My Program (Preview) My life for the past 9 months has been in a word exhausting. I've been actively participating in Al-Anon for the past 5 months. I've learned, I've grown, I've most certainly appreciated this board and the program! A pattern had developed in my marriage. Something would come up about every 2 weeks and m...	Jackie11	6	343	Mar 24, 2012 by Michelle814
	just a quick little share. (Preview) I saw this on FB this morning and I liked it so I thought I would share with ya'll. "I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours and Gods. Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our business. When I think, You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on t...	daisy31	5	280	Mar 24, 2012 by Michelle814
	More on "Recovering" Spouses (Preview) There have been some posts on spouses/significant others who are sober, either working a program or not, and I thought Id chime in with my own issue. My AH and I separated last year after his drinking got out of control. After he, for lack of better term, lost his mind and got fired from his job, he entere...	nyc018	7	521	Mar 24, 2012 by Michelle814
	More changes .. (Preview) I have to give myself an atta girl because I have just sorted through 2 years of paperwork on the inside of my house. I have cleared out 4 large totes as well as numerous plastic shopping bags (more than 9) of paperwork, garbage you name it. It has taken me 7 days or so to get through it all .. I just kept doing...	Pushka	10	349	Mar 24, 2012 by Pushka
	Do you ever get overwhelmed? (Preview) Hey ya'll! I was wondering if getting overwhelmed easily was something that is common among people in the program. I remember my mother being EXTREMELY overwhelmed from things going on around her. She was very affected by alcohol in her growing up years but never really drank herself. Now bein...	daisy31	7	632	Mar 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Interview w/ Ashley Judd talking recovery (Preview) I was searching through old posts on this board and found this great interview someone posted awhile back. I thought I would post it again. It is really inspiring and it shows that ANYONE can be affected by this disease of alcoholism. I love how Ashley talks about recovery. http://www.bing.com...	daisy31	2	3703	Mar 24, 2012 by John
	When...how to move on (Preview) My divorce will be final in a number of weeks. I have lived on my own since July. And most recently I've filed felony theft charges on my husband. I didn't want any of this. It still isn't what I want. But I felt they were the only choices I had left. Now I don't know what to do. He still has this idea that we can m...	respect	6	488	Mar 24, 2012 by Jerry F
	taking a break (Preview) My A has recently been on a non stop binge. Even with all of my alanon superpowers I admit that it was starting to get to me. The good news - a friend of ours is out of the country for a few months. I asked him if I could use his house while he is gone. He gave me the keys before he left. So I am currently enjoying hav...	pineapple	9	408	Mar 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	real quick: it is almost time to go! (Preview) I can only make a short post as it is almost time to go! I am doing so well that I am not going to complain: not once today! God is so good to me & I am so grateful! I am even back to putting exclamation points at the end of my sentences!!!!!! *To those of you who don't know me, I have bipolar disorder & I am k...*	Hoot Nanny	1	256	Mar 24, 2012 by hotrod
	Guess who went on a date last weekend? (Preview) Yep that is right, ME. The guy was a perfect gentleman, took me bowling and to a nice dinner. He opened doors for me and paid for everything and looks forward to taking me out again, if I would allow it he said. I am thinking I am going to like this dating thing. I didn't feel like I owed him anything of myself (...	Breakingfree	7	345	Mar 24, 2012 by bud
	I think my husband is an alcoholic but I'm not sure (Preview) My husband drank a lot when we first got together. I didn't like it and since his mother is definitely an alcoholic, I told him I was concerned he would become an alcoholic too. Before we were married, he cut back his drinking to a couple of beers or glasses of wine a night and he has mostly kept to that for th...	Pris	5	2195	Mar 24, 2012 by kael1539
	Quick share- shut out by in laws (Preview) I thought my in laws and I were close. They called me their daughter. I opened up to them about my own family, who I do not have a relationship with. I really bonded with the children in the family as well. 2 weeks separated and none of them acknowledged my birthday. Not even a note on my stupid Facebook...	Dolly Llama	4	541	Mar 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Nice little gem on a magnet I saw today... (Preview) "If the grass is greener on the other side, it's time to water your grass." EXACTLY what I needed to see today. Thank you, HP, for sending me the message I needed for my own serenity and emotional health.	stephaniej	9	347	Mar 23, 2012 by pineapple
	Re-connecting with recovering spouse (Preview) Hi all, my wife is in recovery and things are going pretty well. We relate better to each other then we did a year or two ago, as we have both learned a lot about how to navigate through challenging times as a result of both of our programs. That being said, we are in no way connected on the level we once were. T...	usedtobeanyer	9	387	Mar 23, 2012 by sookie
	Wife...recovering alcoholic and BPD (Preview) Anyone married to a recovering alcohlic who also suffers from Borderline Personality disorder...or any other personality disorder (Bi-polar, Narcissistic Personality Disorder..they are similar). My wife is 8 months sober and was diagnosed with BPD in Nov. She is quite a handful. We have 3...	gojojo	7	2064	Mar 23, 2012 by Oksie
	home again (Preview) Hi.... previously on Oksie..... As many of you may remember, I have been away with work. My husband came with me and the location was his old city where he lived for 21 years and was a massive pot addict. He came with me to see his kids primarily and to catch up with friends. This means... .catch up wtih p...	Oksie	3	332	Mar 22, 2012 by Oksie
	Struggling with one day at a time/divorce (Preview) One Day at a Time...The Next Right Thing...etc. 2 weeks ago, my AH and I agreed to divorce. In 3 weeks, I face becoming homeless and am currently unemployed. Tomorrow is my 34th birthday. The grief and enormity of my situation hit me like a million pounds to the face last night. I am at peace with the e...	Dolly Llama	12	637	Mar 23, 2012 by orchidlover
	The Slow Death of a Marriage (Preview) My AH came by my office today (just drove to the curb- I didn't want to have him come into my office now that we are separated) to drop off some documents that I need in order to fight my way out of the IRS mess he has created. I asked him if he had paid the rent on our house (he has an arrangement with the mortgage...	Green Eyes	10	694	Mar 22, 2012 by respect
	I need help getting back my life...How to live with a dry angry drunk??? (Preview) My alcoholic husband gave up drinking about 8 years ago when it was my way or the highway for him. He stopped drinking cold turkey and without the support of a major group or program. At the time, I thought that was ok because we have two children (ages 6 and 8) and he is a good and loving father. I truly beli...	Hope999	20	650	Mar 22, 2012 by Hope999
	Unsure of what to do...newbie (Preview) Hello, I am a stay at home homeschooler with five children at home. Last year my husband underwent a massive heart attack and major heart surgery. His father died from alcoholism and addiction struggles have peppered our entire marriage. The heart attack has, for lack of a better term, heighten...	dianah	6	424	Mar 22, 2012 by abbyal
	Highly freaked out (Preview) My AS 22 yrs old drove the pickup down our mile and a half dirt road, it has snowed and the road is horrible, needless to say he wrecked it. My husband came unglued. I have never seen him so angry and our AS has done alot of things but i guess this was the topping on the cake. He told our son that he has 3 weeks to g...	debbiems	3	323	Mar 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Not sure if I am in the right place, but I will just start about my ABF (Preview) Hello, My first time here. I know the answer, I really do. I have seen so many posts on different sites about this. The answer is: I need to leave him behind, and focus on myself and my healing. He is (like they are) wonderful, handsome, charming beyond belief, talented. I have always felt that we had a &q...	WantBetterforAll	8	345	Mar 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Need help PLEASE (Preview) Where do I start....I have a 25 year old son. after 3 DUIs in only a couple of months I realized he was an alcoholic. Not that I am stupid...just NEVER saw him drink or drunk! He agreed to rehab, and spent a month in. Court is finished and he has lost his license for 7 years and on probation for 1 1/2 years with a...	brit	8	422	Mar 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Saying what I mean without being mean, but feeling mean (Preview) Hey everyone, so the calls started again tnite - this time they weren't as bad because from the beginning I said I didn't want to get into an argument because I knew he had been drinking. He didn't even try to defend himself and let me get off the phone without a hassel. I have been very good about setting bo...	Corgi2	8	465	Mar 22, 2012 by Corgi2
	Feel like crap (Preview) Am I allowed to say that in my thread title? I really am struggling with my emotions towards my AH. I get irritated at everything he says. I am totally on edge and I wonder if I love him anymore. It tears me apart to say that and I don't want it to be the end of our marriage but I am really struggling with wher...	ilovedogs	5	543	Mar 22, 2012 by pinkchip
	Help with experience of treatment centres (Preview) We had an appointment with a counsellor at a treatment centre today. Unfortunately the counsellor made it clear that if I could not stay for the screening he would not see my son. It is recommended on their website that a family member would be present, however, it was more than a recommendation today....	maire rua	4	297	Mar 22, 2012 by pinkchip
	Exhaustion due to Family Abuse (Preview) I have asked a bit about this topic before but will try to be more specific. I am an AAer for years now and just started going to ACA and Alanon. thru the steps thoroughly but can't sleep at night. I am oftentimes awake at 2 and 3 am and am absolutely exhausted all the time, bags under my eyes, full of fear, can...	WorkingThroughIt	14	582	Mar 22, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	How do I get connected to the MiRC chat thing? (Preview) I am having trouble figuring out how to be able to get into the chat rooms. I would like to be able to do meetings some and chat as well but I can't figure it out. Is there some steps (haha no pun intended ;) on how to do this? Thanks so much for your help.	daisy31	4	314	Mar 22, 2012 by lacewing
	Meetings (Preview) There seems to be a gap in meetings lately. Has anyone else noticed this? What is up? Is there a need for more moderators? If so, someone in the know...contact me. I have come here for Years with the exception of my down time treating and recovering from cancer. Am healthy now!:) In all ways. I us...	Grace7	1	245	Mar 22, 2012 by lacewing
	feeling sick (temporary) (Preview) So i logged into facebook and temptation got the best of me .. hate that .. i looked on my x's wall and he wrote to a girl asking her how she is, etc.. but i know him and i know he's trying to talk to her .. it's not paranoia .. it's a pattern after a breakup for him. As soon as i saw it, i felt sick .. i have recovery a...	MeTwo2	1	257	Mar 22, 2012 by hotrod
	Comparing MIP to other forums (Preview) Before I found MIP I had joined another online community for those who are involved with alcoholics or have dealt with alcoholism. Every once in a while I may post there, but I'm not as active there as I am here. Can I just say that this forum is the most loving and supportive forum I have ever been on? I p...	ilovedogs	5	440	Mar 22, 2012 by hotrod
	Service work (Preview) I don't know how many people are currently active in service work for alanon. I have to say this is one of the most rewarding aspects of the program for me. I gotta keep giving it away in order to keep it. We go to a treatment center for family night once a month and this is my first night to go to this partic...	Pushka	3	527	Mar 22, 2012 by Pushka
	Adult Child of an Alcoholic Parent (Preview) Hi, just want to introduce myself. I am 33 years old. My mom has been an alcoholic for many years. It started as a way for her to cope with an emotionally abusive husband and has spiraled out of control. After thirty years of her being controlled by him, they finally got divorced. She lives with me and my tw...	jonidreamsingreen	4	419	Mar 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Learned something else about myself today (Preview) I feel like it was a pretty big a-ha moment, that has been a long time coming. I've been sick since yesterday morning...sick as a dog in that food poisoning kind of way. Yuck. I went to work for awhile today and came home in the late morning to rest before picking up my little guy from day care (I'm home al...	stephaniej	3	422	Mar 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Acceptance vs self will (Preview) All I can say is UGH UGH UGH!!! I'm really trying to accept God's Will and not impose what my will is because of the whole door #1 and door #2 deal .. what God has in door #2 is what I want. I know it's going to be so much better than what I think I want, because my little pea brain can't wrap my head around what tr...	Pushka	7	815	Mar 21, 2012 by stephaniej
	Thank you! (Preview) Thank you for your wisdom, kind words and encouragement when I needed them last week. As you may know, I've been struggling with some new health problems, but I am feeling much better this week both physically and mentally. I sooo appreciate being able to come here to find kind, supportive people who u...	Doozy	3	423	Mar 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Having a rough day - being challenged by my recovery (Preview) I am really trying to work my program and try not to allow someone elses upset with me take me off track. The upset is their's to deal with. Logically I know that but logic is not persevering right now. I have a very difficult time being on the other end of someone elses upset with me. I need help to not al...	amills4294	3	274	Mar 20, 2012 by amills4294
	7 months seperate from my Active Alcholic Addict Husband, Miss Him So Much (Preview) Gezz!!! is it closure that's got me, i dunno. But 7 months seperated and I miss him sooo much. Sold the house 3 weeks ago. He totaled the truck a week ago. The guy who killed his son pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 15 years just a few days ago. Lots of closure. OMG!!! i think i just got it!! for 7 mont...	Sincerely	7	418	Mar 20, 2012 by amills4294
	Hanging on to my serenity for dear life (Preview) Had a fine weekend...AH's birthday was on Sunday, and we had a nice day enjoying the gorgeous weather. My AH tried to get ugly with me, and DID get ugly with his dog last night, but I just refused to go there. That is getting soooo much easier for me. A year ago I would have taken the bait and the whole thin...	stephaniej	7	472	Mar 20, 2012 by amills4294
	Hi. (Preview) I really don't know where to begin. She (my wife) is passed out right now. Not sure if she passed out from booze or not. History: Post partum depression starting with our 4th child, born 7 months ago. Prior child she drank and breast fed daily. He has some slowed development in speech (he is 2 and is just...	GeneralLee	15	779	Mar 20, 2012 by GeneralLee
	what makes me so mad / obssession (Preview) what makes me so mad too is that even if i am obssessing, the part in me that makes me so mad at myself is that noone and no amount of anything is worth giving away our power, dignity, or serenity .. it doesn't matter who or what it is and still i do it .. when i do this, i close the door to my possibilities of s...	MeTwo2	10	574	Mar 20, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Seeing patterns (Preview) the ex A who I have not been with for over 4 years now was someone who was really charming, sweet, kind and understanding. On his dark side he was mean, nasty, vindictive and controlling. What I have learned this week is that I had a pattern of seeking out the same as I knew as a child. My mother could be swee...	orchidlover	5	653	Mar 20, 2012 by MeTwo2
	how to commit bipolar alcoholic into a treatment? (Preview) Need some help and advice. I have been married to the bipolar-alcoholic husband for 6 years. We separated (legally married but living separately) 2 years ago during his major meltdown. During the last couple of years he has been in 7 detoxes, 3 halfway houses, one inpatient treatment center(20 days...	Tuesday	7	3061	Mar 20, 2012 by Tuesday
	Off to court.... (Preview) Today's the day I officially end a 29 year marriage...another casuality of alcoholism. Please send ESH...as I have to testify...because I am the plaintiff in the divorce proceedings. My goal -- don't cry! and this too shall pass...	rehprof	14	546	Mar 20, 2012 by Doozy
	Keep it simple (Preview) Just wanted to share that I recently moved back into my mom's house...I am in my mid twenties, so I guess its not that bad lol. But I am re painting my bedroom and getting everything brand new for a fresh start and I started ordering some artwork for my walls. One of them is a wall decal that reads "Keep...	Corgi2	4	876	Mar 20, 2012 by Doozy
	working on not living in my head so much. (Preview) I am reading a book called When God winks at you and there is a quote in it and it says: I'm an old man and have known many troubles, but most of them never happened~Mark Twain This quote speaks to me so much because I have always lived inside my head so much that 99% of my worries never came true. Through Alan...	daisy31	3	431	Mar 20, 2012 by Jerry F
	A -son's actions (Preview) The follow up on my son's situation is that he is waiting for a place in rehab. There is a waiting list for six to eight weeks for this five month programme. Already he is manipulating how he can get to do what he wants. He still is staying with my father and tomorrow has a screening at a different centre whic...	maire rua	4	341	Mar 20, 2012 by Jerry F
	What have we got to lose ? (Preview) So, I went to the meeting this morning on Step 3. When I share in these rooms, I realise there's a distinct possibility someone from my side will recognise my shares and am making the decision that, that's ok .. Remembering too though that absolutely nothing happens by mistake after step 3. This weeken...	MeTwo2	9	478	Mar 20, 2012 by oldergal
	swayed by others...ugg. (Preview) It was my daughters birthday party last week and I really tried to remember the slogan "Keep in simple". I think I did relatively well. I love that slogan. There was another mom there who is somewhat of a friend who is a very nice lady but is very focused on things being orderly and she l...	willowtree	6	401	Mar 20, 2012 by kael1539
	What to Expect in the First Few Days (Preview) Just wondering if there is somewhere that I can go to learn about what to expect during the first few days of my AHs recovery. So far, the words that come to mind are: withdrawn angry depressed beaten Are these normal? He hasn't started a treatment program yet (or gone to any meetings). He just stoppe...	hicktownmom	9	510	Mar 20, 2012 by Debilyn
	An Insight from the Primate World (Preview) A very good friend of mine asked me if I knew about the phenomenon of monkeys throwing poop. I told her yes (thinking -- what in the world is she talking about?) She then asked me if I knew WHY monkeys threw poop -- particularly in zoos, primates throw poop to get people to stop looking at them. This is a grea...	rehprof	13	577	Mar 20, 2012 by Aloha
	Patting the lion (Preview) Hi. This is a kind of 'reminder' post as I changed my name here, and a reintroduction to new people while I ask for assistance. Next week, my husband and I (sound like the Queen now), will not only be going to the lions den, he will be patting the lion. As you all know, my husband is a pot addict. He expresse...	Oksie	12	527	Mar 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	Is there really a way out? (Preview) I'm truly at a loss. I want my marriage with AH to be over, but I cannot leave. The short version is this: I was a professional, just starting out, and had three children from a previous marriage. I met my AH at work, and he is 18 years older than me. I was very naive (even at 30), because I had never been expose...	luckycharm11	15	546	Mar 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	New here and in a lot of pain, anyone relate lol. (Preview) Just a week ago I recieved an email from him. He said everything I wanted to hear. This of course was after a a few weeks of not seeing each other, just emails, him mostly cutting me down in his very what he assumed underhanded way. So he emails me and tells me how much he misses me, he Loves me, love wit...	katiekate	8	472	Mar 20, 2012 by katiekate
	My alcoholic husband is lying (Preview) I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for over three years, married for almost a year. He is a functioning alchoholic. I have one child from a precious marriage and he has one from his previous marriage. I am currently starting my 6th month of pregnancy. He was recently in his second vcar accid...	RR	16	5236	Mar 19, 2012 by RR
	When they aren't working a program (Preview) It's so hard for me to cope with the fact that my AH is going it alone in his quitting drinking. He's done great so far, but he's back to his old attitudes. He has comments about everybody, talks to the TV and makes fun of everything he sees and hears, and is basically sarcastic and irritating. What gets...	ilovedogs	15	621	Mar 19, 2012 by hicktownmom
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.