Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Lauren87 · Lauren87

I'm brand new to this. All of this. I wanted to do a quick intro... My name is Lauren. I'm 30. And I'm "lucky" enough to be married to an alcoholic. We've been married for 3 years (well almost) and for the last 2 he's been drinking...heavily. And I recently discovered he's using xanax too. I ha...

sunnysmile · sunnysmile

My alcoholic boyfriend relapsed this evening. He had 3 months of sobriety under his belt. I realize that's not a long time and that he was still considered to be very early in his recovery. But still, those 3 months were very good, strong months. I'm not even sure what prompted the drink this evening. I'...

Bree · Bree

Hi all...tonight my dad (who hasn't had a drink in over 2 years) got into an argument with my bother and got drunk. I don't know what to do or say to help anyone in the situation (my mom or dad). They are on the mainland and I'm in Hawaii so it isn't as easy as flying there just to be supportive. This hasn't been...

HAguirre · HAguirre

My ah has been sober for 9 months and he said he doesn't rember hurting me so he won't say his admens to me why I don't understand any advice

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

I am working the Alanon steps. My husband is an active alcoholic. One of my biggest issues right now is that he blames me for everything. I am learning to let that go without acting like a martyr or getting angry. It's really hard, but I am learning to keep my mouth shut and ignore it. One thing I can't ignor...

stephaniej · stephaniej

She was hospitalized on Saturday night with a systemic, antibiotic-resistent staph infection. Her health is very poor.

Grace7 · Grace7

I Wish! I would have known that my ex's addiction impaired his circulatory system, so much so that his organ was in operable:) A nicer way to say it. In true alcoholic fashion, he berated me again and again for his inability to function....it was MY fault! He even yelled at me in front of my adolescent...

orchidlover · orchidlover

Another co worker of mine at the store is pregnant. She is a young, unwed mother and does not have many resources. Needless to say the store manager isn't giving her more hours to help her out financially. Normally I would be adopting someone like this as my pet project. I would be worrying about what s...

Oksie · Oksie

As some of you may remember from my other sign on name... I have some major and massive control issues. Some people post things about controlling their spouses drinking and rationale that they wouldn't control other parts of the partners life, so why alcohol.. well.. I am guilty of controlling ever...

youngnlost · youngnlost

Hello All, I am new here as I have stumbled upon this site while looking for meeting information in my town. I have read some of the posts here and really feel a connection. I am going to tell my story, as it is one you have all heard before, but I feel like I need to let someone know the burden I have carried. I...

thechee · thechee

I posted yesterday and everyone was so wonderful. I looked for Al Anon meetings here and the closest one is 58 miles from here. I don't get that, but what can I do? My question is...does it seems that alcoholics start drama even when they are sober? I ask because my soon to be ex seemed to go out of his way to p...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was seriously thinking about getting ahold of my first boyfriend recently whom I do not hate by the way! I tried to reach out--foolishly but realized that he is not someone I really want to catch up w/. Last time I saw him he was sober & still attending AA meetings. I just thought that I might like to k...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...bear with me as I tag on to Young's post "Clarity" for the moment with 2 more cents. When I read a post that includes mention of violence within the disease my "Spidey" senses go into full alert from my own experiences in the disease and as an Alternatives To Vio...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

As I have gone through this process of recovery, I think I have learned most about how my HP works. My HP certainly doesn't make things easy, and it's not all about instant gratification. I have felt multiple times where I have been pushed & challenged, where I have felt hopeless and fed up, where th...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I feel so stupid today for my post on Sat. I really feel I should have not mentioned that exbf situation. I guess I was feeling a little sentimental & really stretching going back in time. Why can't I just close the door? I sometimes think that I do that because my Ah is not interesting enough--what...

willowtree · willowtree

We are planning on going to see a friend of mine this summer and her and her family have never met my husband and kids. I am already starting to worry how my kids will behave (they are very wild and rambunxious and fight a lot) and my friends kids are so well behaved and they come from a very calm, almost perf...

Hope999 · Hope999

Does anyone have a book recommendation aimed at the families of alcoholics who are not currently drinking and not in a recovery program? I bought the book "Getting them Sober" and while I agree there is some really great information here, it is aimed at the spouse of an active alcoholic....

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I've been letting my A/A daughter clean my house 1xwk. for several months, I got her cable on my credit card, (she needed a credit card) to have it turned on and that come out of the cleaning fees. We have had some conflict from time to time, me letting her have money up front. There was a big problem with c...

rara avis · rara avis

Hi everyone! The serenity buster: I came home from 1 day out of town to find a bouquet of lillies, no card, on my doorstep. I can't fathom who I know who would drop flowers off sans card, I asked around anyway but no one had a clue. This detail is important as the cards were dropped off on the day of my ex RA'...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I prayed for clarity and wow did HP deliver!!! I have communicated more with my AH in the past week then in the previous 9 months. We sat on the porch yesterday and talked for hours. He hasn't had a drink since Thursday, and I know that this could change at any time his recovery is his own, I simply asked him t...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

(tried to fix formatting, missed some) I'm no expert on anything, well except for my own life

This will be long - I won't be hurt if you don't read it LOL. I thought I'd share the "healthy detachment" perspective as it relates to someone who isnt an alcoholic. Because healthy detac...

HAguirre · HAguirre

OK so my husband is now 9 months sober and within the past 2. Weeks he has started to get emotionally mean again. I feel emotionally tired and he sayhes going to help but doesn't I work 7 days a week he works 3 and he says mean things to me when I take naps before I go to work he just told me that if I keep making him...

Oksie · Oksie

HI I usually take the day off from work for my daughters anniversary etc. I think last year I didnt' because I had taken holidays and also had put in my resignation from that job. Today I was going to go to work. Last night I wondered why I would make this year different. 22 years why this year different...

maire rua · maire rua

Am doing ok, collected son this afternoon as we need to prepare for his move down south. He threw wobblers and was quite difficult. I felt quite stressed but got to a meeting and it passed. Told him that I could not envisage him living under my roof again and indeed I cannot at present. It has been a very st...

thechee · thechee

Its been 4 weeks NC...he's called twice 'blocked' and I didn't answer. I can't believe this is happening. Tho I was officially the dumper...it feels no better as I didn't want to leave I felt forced to. I had to choose between my sanity or his alcoholic selfishness. I chose to save myself. I miss him (the...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

By it, I mean any sense of serenity or peace or anything that would be considered a sign of successfuly working my program. I don't know what has caused this but I feel almost like I'm back at the beginning. Completely focused on my wife and what she is doing or not doing. Happy when she is happy and unhappy...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH and I have been having some very intense conversations about my feelings and about my intentions for myself in the future. How I am ready to set up boundaries and how I expect myself to behave from now on. I've shared a lot of my fears. I've cried a lot. And, he's just been there, being supportive...

KateEN · KateEN

Taking care of myself is a completely new concept. I've always been the people pleaser- I'm the one who would always say yes without hesitation. Today I said I would show up to an event even though didn't want to. The trains ended up being a mess and it would have been over an hour commute & the thoug...

Jerry F · Jerry F

but never my life. Aloha Family...I made a long overdue contact with an an ex-sponsor this afternoon who was still friendly and close to my major sponsor in Al-Anon. We all use to hang together and so I was in great recovery company. The news came that Don T, passed into the "other" room in...

mr5191 · mr5191

Third post on this board. Been riding the ups and downs of living with an alcoholic. Good days and bad days. My AW is going to AA meetings almost every night but still actively drinking. Kind of wonder why she even bothers on going. She openly admits she cannot control it. While at her meetings, sh...

Pushka · Pushka

LOL!! Boy did I get a reality check. I no longer have the luxury to feel sorry for myself. I did wake up today feeling like son of a gun, I want to have a temper tantrum and darn it I want MY way RIGHT NOW!!! HA HA .. I'll let you know how that's working for me .. LOL!! I'm going to wind up going over another log...

daisy31 · daisy31

I was being nosy the other day about our neighbors and my son told me "Mom, stay in your own hoola-hoop!" I so needed to hear those words from them. I like teaching them about this program for many ways.... keeping their momma in check works too! :D

Oksie · Oksie

I posted this on the ACOA board as I guess its more dealing with that side of things.... but I know many of you are ACOA but just dont go to that board.... so thought I would post here too. Would be great to hear some of the wise words of you guys over there though... theres only a few of us active on the site. Hi...

sirchef · sirchef

Well just a little note about this site. It has been a god send for so many of us. We have been truly blessed to have a venue to come and find help and comfort. Recently the chat room meetings have been experiencing a leadership vacuum. Never enough chairs, dwindling attendance because of a lack of consis...

RR · RR

On March 4th I entered this community. Just to review, I have been in a relationship with my husband for 3 1/2 years and married for almost a year. He has been an alcholic for most of his life. I have been tolerated this since we met. At first we drank together. I truly didn't know he had such a deep problem. L...

AlexisK · AlexisK

Where do I start? I feel so stupid, and naive, for believing that my husband was actually keeping his promise, that he had stopped drinking. He doesn't get fall down drunk, not at first. He begins slowly, sneaking (always sneaking, never in front of me or anybody else) a few beers- admittedly behin...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I attended an anniversary meeting for the first time last night (not sure if these are common at all Al Anon groups?). We had 3 speakers, one from AA, one from Alateen, and one from Al Anon. It was a great meeting and really rejuvinated me. The AA speaker talked about how being drunk made her feel alive and...

Alea · Alea

I'm new here. There is one alcoholic and one recovered alcoholic in my mother's immediate family. I hardly have a story to tell about them because I totally and completely avoid them, and have since I was a little kid. But...it's like there's a second-hand effect. I ended up dating an alcoholic (4 year...

rehprof · rehprof

ex A shows up to pick up 15 year old. Mild alcohol smell..leftover from last night? scares me bc my 9 year old was with him yesterday Feeling guilty that I didn't breathalzye him before letting him take my 15 year old... he has no job, no money, offers not one dime for child support.... he tells me he got a gr...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I have to laugh so I don't cry. I've been at my current career for 6 years, promoted twice. I guess because I'd have to admit I'm an enabler here. Since I'm a single mom and my ex provides zero financial support for my kids, I do what I have to for a paycheck and am actively looking outside for a new job. I di...

amills4294 · amills4294

I like the message and guidance this program offers. I believe many would benefit from it even if they don't have alcohol in their lives. My spouse and I are also in counseling and the format and philosophy is so very different than what we learn in this program to the point that I feel conflicted. She r...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

So, Ive been working my program and doing pretty well. I thought my ah was doing well too, until today. I left yesterday on a business trip. I get a text today from a woman I don't know explaining she went to school w my husband and that last night he sent her a text that only read "?", she says he pr...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I saw a tax lawyer today and will see my tax advisor tomorrow. I'm so exhausted by the huge mess I am in due to my AH's business mess. I can't fix it- it's out of my hands. I didn't cause it, yet I might lose everything I have worked hard for. This is not right. The anger that is inside me right now is all consumin...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

Since I truly gave up my life to my HP and started to live in reality, I have noticed a coorelation. Each time I have made a conscious choice to accept life on life's terms, something wonderful opens up for me. You might recall from past posts that I have been struggling with losing my in-laws. It's real...

Pushka · Pushka

AND this time no flipping over backwards on logs .. geeze!! No great pithanies of healing, and no need to analyze what I'm doing or not doing. I couldn't get the stupid mower started now I'm thinking I want one of those push button starters. I've never started a mower like this before so that will wait...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

My life for the past 9 months has been in a word exhausting. I've been actively participating in Al-Anon for the past 5 months. I've learned, I've grown, I've most certainly appreciated this board and the program! A pattern had developed in my marriage. Something would come up about every 2 weeks and m...

daisy31 · daisy31

I saw this on FB this morning and I liked it so I thought I would share with ya'll. "I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours and Gods. Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our business. When I think, You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on t...

nyc018 · nyc018

There have been some posts on spouses/significant others who are sober, either working a program or not, and I thought Id chime in with my own issue. My AH and I separated last year after his drinking got out of control. After he, for lack of better term, lost his mind and got fired from his job, he entere...

Pushka · Pushka

I have to give myself an atta girl because I have just sorted through 2 years of paperwork on the inside of my house. I have cleared out 4 large totes as well as numerous plastic shopping bags (more than 9) of paperwork, garbage you name it. It has taken me 7 days or so to get through it all .. I just kept doing...

daisy31 · daisy31

Hey ya'll! I was wondering if getting overwhelmed easily was something that is common among people in the program. I remember my mother being EXTREMELY overwhelmed from things going on around her. She was very affected by alcohol in her growing up years but never really drank herself. Now bein...

daisy31 · daisy31

I was searching through old posts on this board and found this great interview someone posted awhile back. I thought I would post it again. It is really inspiring and it shows that ANYONE can be affected by this disease of alcoholism. I love how Ashley talks about recovery. http://www.bing.com...

respect · respect

My divorce will be final in a number of weeks. I have lived on my own since July. And most recently I've filed felony theft charges on my husband. I didn't want any of this. It still isn't what I want. But I felt they were the only choices I had left. Now I don't know what to do. He still has this idea that we can m...

pineapple · pineapple

My A has recently been on a non stop binge. Even with all of my alanon superpowers I admit that it was starting to get to me. The good news - a friend of ours is out of the country for a few months. I asked him if I could use his house while he is gone. He gave me the keys before he left. So I am currently enjoying hav...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can only make a short post as it is almost time to go! I am doing so well that I am not going to complain: not once today! God is so good to me & I am so grateful! I am even back to putting exclamation points at the end of my sentences!!!!!! To those of you who don't know me, I have bipolar disorder & I am k...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Yep that is right, ME. The guy was a perfect gentleman, took me bowling and to a nice dinner. He opened doors for me and paid for everything and looks forward to taking me out again, if I would allow it he said. I am thinking I am going to like this dating thing. I didn't feel like I owed him anything of myself (...

Pris · Pris

My husband drank a lot when we first got together. I didn't like it and since his mother is definitely an alcoholic, I told him I was concerned he would become an alcoholic too. Before we were married, he cut back his drinking to a couple of beers or glasses of wine a night and he has mostly kept to that for th...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

I thought my in laws and I were close. They called me their daughter. I opened up to them about my own family, who I do not have a relationship with. I really bonded with the children in the family as well. 2 weeks separated and none of them acknowledged my birthday. Not even a note on my stupid Facebook...

stephaniej · stephaniej

"If the grass is greener on the other side, it's time to water your grass." EXACTLY what I needed to see today. Thank you, HP, for sending me the message I needed for my own serenity and emotional health.

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi all, my wife is in recovery and things are going pretty well. We relate better to each other then we did a year or two ago, as we have both learned a lot about how to navigate through challenging times as a result of both of our programs. That being said, we are in no way connected on the level we once were. T...

gojojo · gojojo

Anyone married to a recovering alcohlic who also suffers from Borderline Personality disorder...or any other personality disorder (Bi-polar, Narcissistic Personality Disorder..they are similar). My wife is 8 months sober and was diagnosed with BPD in Nov. She is quite a handful. We have 3...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hi...I'm new (Preview) I'm brand new to this. All of this. I wanted to do a quick intro... My name is Lauren. I'm 30. And I'm "lucky" enough to be married to an alcoholic. We've been married for 3 years (well almost) and for the last 2 he's been drinking...heavily. And I recently discovered he's using xanax too. I ha...	Lauren87	8	396	Mar 28, 2012 by canadianguy
	Feel so overwhelmed ... (Preview) My alcoholic boyfriend relapsed this evening. He had 3 months of sobriety under his belt. I realize that's not a long time and that he was still considered to be very early in his recovery. But still, those 3 months were very good, strong months. I'm not even sure what prompted the drink this evening. I'...	sunnysmile	6	529	Mar 28, 2012 by julesredgirl
	Dad relapse (Preview) Hi all...tonight my dad (who hasn't had a drink in over 2 years) got into an argument with my bother and got drunk. I don't know what to do or say to help anyone in the situation (my mom or dad). They are on the mainland and I'm in Hawaii so it isn't as easy as flying there just to be supportive. This hasn't been...	Bree	3	463	Mar 28, 2012 by Corgi2
	never said he was sorry (Preview) My ah has been sober for 9 months and he said he doesn't rember hurting me so he won't say his admens to me why I don't understand any advice	HAguirre	16	745	Mar 28, 2012 by Oksie
	Need Advice Hurting (Preview) I am working the Alanon steps. My husband is an active alcoholic. One of my biggest issues right now is that he blames me for everything. I am learning to let that go without acting like a martyr or getting angry. It's really hard, but I am learning to keep my mouth shut and ignore it. One thing I can't ignor...	TryingToChange	11	484	Mar 28, 2012 by TryingToChange
	Could y'all add my mom to your prayers today? (Preview) She was hospitalized on Saturday night with a systemic, antibiotic-resistent staph infection. Her health is very poor.	stephaniej	6	322	Mar 28, 2012 by Grace7
	Sexuality in the Alcoholic (Preview) I Wish! I would have known that my ex's addiction impaired his circulatory system, so much so that his organ was in operable:) A nicer way to say it. In true alcoholic fashion, he berated me again and again for his inability to function....it was MY fault! He even yelled at me in front of my adolescent...	Grace7	3	484	Mar 28, 2012 by Oksie
	Progress not perfection (Preview) Another co worker of mine at the store is pregnant. She is a young, unwed mother and does not have many resources. Needless to say the store manager isn't giving her more hours to help her out financially. Normally I would be adopting someone like this as my pet project. I would be worrying about what s...	orchidlover	2	382	Mar 28, 2012 by orchidlover
	Controlling my control issues (Preview) As some of you may remember from my other sign on name... I have some major and massive control issues. Some people post things about controlling their spouses drinking and rationale that they wouldn't control other parts of the partners life, so why alcohol.. well.. I am guilty of controlling ever...	Oksie	7	2998	Mar 28, 2012 by Oksie
	New to this :( (Preview) Hello All, I am new here as I have stumbled upon this site while looking for meeting information in my town. I have read some of the posts here and really feel a connection. I am going to tell my story, as it is one you have all heard before, but I feel like I need to let someone know the burden I have carried. I...	youngnlost	11	342	Mar 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	Are alcoholics drama kings/queens? (Preview) I posted yesterday and everyone was so wonderful. I looked for Al Anon meetings here and the closest one is 58 miles from here. I don't get that, but what can I do? My question is...does it seems that alcoholics start drama even when they are sober? I ask because my soon to be ex seemed to go out of his way to p...	thechee	12	4091	Mar 27, 2012 by All I can be
	don't want to step in that DO! (Preview) I was seriously thinking about getting ahold of my first boyfriend recently whom I do not hate by the way! I tried to reach out--foolishly but realized that he is not someone I really want to catch up w/. Last time I saw him he was sober & still attending AA meetings. I just thought that I might like to k...	Hoot Nanny	2	305	Mar 27, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Alcoholism and Violence of any kind (Preview) Aloha Family...bear with me as I tag on to Young's post "Clarity" for the moment with 2 more cents. When I read a post that includes mention of violence within the disease my "Spidey" senses go into full alert from my own experiences in the disease and as an Alternatives To Vio...	Jerry F	6	946	Mar 27, 2012 by Wolfie55
	This too shall pass... (Preview) As I have gone through this process of recovery, I think I have learned most about how my HP works. My HP certainly doesn't make things easy, and it's not all about instant gratification. I have felt multiple times where I have been pushed & challenged, where I have felt hopeless and fed up, where th...	usedtobeanyer	3	580	Mar 27, 2012 by willowtree
	I feel so stupid... (Preview) I feel so stupid today for my post on Sat. I really feel I should have not mentioned that exbf situation. I guess I was feeling a little sentimental & really stretching going back in time. Why can't I just close the door? I sometimes think that I do that because my Ah is not interesting enough--what...	Hoot Nanny	3	326	Mar 27, 2012 by Wolfie55
	worrying what they will think (Preview) We are planning on going to see a friend of mine this summer and her and her family have never met my husband and kids. I am already starting to worry how my kids will behave (they are very wild and rambunxious and fight a lot) and my friends kids are so well behaved and they come from a very calm, almost perf...	willowtree	6	537	Mar 27, 2012 by willowtree
	Book Recommendations??? (Preview) Does anyone have a book recommendation aimed at the families of alcoholics who are not currently drinking and not in a recovery program? I bought the book "Getting them Sober" and while I agree there is some really great information here, it is aimed at the spouse of an active alcoholic....	Hope999	12	557	Mar 27, 2012 by Hope999
	A new day! (Preview) I've been letting my A/A daughter clean my house 1xwk. for several months, I got her cable on my credit card, (she needed a credit card) to have it turned on and that come out of the cleaning fees. We have had some conflict from time to time, me letting her have money up front. There was a big problem with c...	Highlyfavored	1	349	Mar 27, 2012 by Grace7
	Gratitude: modern technology! (Preview) Hi everyone! The serenity buster: I came home from 1 day out of town to find a bouquet of lillies, no card, on my doorstep. I can't fathom who I know who would drop flowers off sans card, I asked around anyway but no one had a clue. This detail is important as the cards were dropped off on the day of my ex RA'...	rara avis	5	403	Mar 27, 2012 by rara avis
	Clarity (Preview) I prayed for clarity and wow did HP deliver!!! I have communicated more with my AH in the past week then in the previous 9 months. We sat on the porch yesterday and talked for hours. He hasn't had a drink since Thursday, and I know that this could change at any time his recovery is his own, I simply asked him t...	Jackie11	5	431	Mar 27, 2012 by Michelle814
	Detachment, still learning (Preview) (tried to fix formatting, missed some) I'm no expert on anything, well except for my own life This will be long - I won't be hurt if you don't read it LOL. I thought I'd share the "healthy detachment" perspective as it relates to someone who isnt an alcoholic. Because healthy detac...	AStrongerMe	6	600	Mar 27, 2012 by Oksie
	though it would get better (Preview) OK so my husband is now 9 months sober and within the past 2. Weeks he has started to get emotionally mean again. I feel emotionally tired and he sayhes going to help but doesn't I work 7 days a week he works 3 and he says mean things to me when I take naps before I go to work he just told me that if I keep making him...	HAguirre	2	498	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	taking the time (Preview) HI I usually take the day off from work for my daughters anniversary etc. I think last year I didnt' because I had taken holidays and also had put in my resignation from that job. Today I was going to go to work. Last night I wondered why I would make this year different. 22 years why this year different...	Oksie	3	403	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	update on crazy days (Preview) Am doing ok, collected son this afternoon as we need to prepare for his move down south. He threw wobblers and was quite difficult. I felt quite stressed but got to a meeting and it passed. Told him that I could not envisage him living under my roof again and indeed I cannot at present. It has been a very st...	maire rua	3	331	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Same old sob story, but new to me.... (Preview) Its been 4 weeks NC...he's called twice 'blocked' and I didn't answer. I can't believe this is happening. Tho I was officially the dumper...it feels no better as I didn't want to leave I felt forced to. I had to choose between my sanity or his alcoholic selfishness. I chose to save myself. I miss him (the...	thechee	9	834	Mar 27, 2012 by Auntyaya
	I've lost it, I know how to get it back, but not sure I want it (Preview) By it, I mean any sense of serenity or peace or anything that would be considered a sign of successfuly working my program. I don't know what has caused this but I feel almost like I'm back at the beginning. Completely focused on my wife and what she is doing or not doing. Happy when she is happy and unhappy...	usedtobeanyer	13	592	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	My best friend is back, and I'm scared (Preview) My AH and I have been having some very intense conversations about my feelings and about my intentions for myself in the future. How I am ready to set up boundaries and how I expect myself to behave from now on. I've shared a lot of my fears. I've cried a lot. And, he's just been there, being supportive...	ilovedogs	8	517	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Taking care of myself? Without guilt?! People pleasing (Preview) Taking care of myself is a completely new concept. I've always been the people pleaser- I'm the one who would always say yes without hesitation. Today I said I would show up to an event even though didn't want to. The trains ended up being a mess and it would have been over an hour commute & the thoug...	KateEN	6	662	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Don T has left the room... (Preview) but never my life. Aloha Family...I made a long overdue contact with an an ex-sponsor this afternoon who was still friendly and close to my major sponsor in Al-Anon. We all use to hang together and so I was in great recovery company. The news came that Don T, passed into the "other" room in...	Jerry F	8	429	Mar 26, 2012 by canadianguy
	accepting relationships in AA??? (Preview) Third post on this board. Been riding the ups and downs of living with an alcoholic. Good days and bad days. My AW is going to AA meetings almost every night but still actively drinking. Kind of wonder why she even bothers on going. She openly admits she cannot control it. While at her meetings, sh...	mr5191	10	640	Mar 26, 2012 by mr5191
	Feeling sorry for myself .. (Preview) LOL!! Boy did I get a reality check. I no longer have the luxury to feel sorry for myself. I did wake up today feeling like son of a gun, I want to have a temper tantrum and darn it I want MY way RIGHT NOW!!! HA HA .. I'll let you know how that's working for me .. LOL!! I'm going to wind up going over another log...	Pushka	10	559	Mar 26, 2012 by nyc018
	Something funny with my kiddos. (Preview) I was being nosy the other day about our neighbors and my son told me "Mom, stay in your own hoola-hoop!" I so needed to hear those words from them. I like teaching them about this program for many ways.... keeping their momma in check works too! :D	daisy31	5	333	Mar 26, 2012 by abbyal
	My daugter (Preview) I posted this on the ACOA board as I guess its more dealing with that side of things.... but I know many of you are ACOA but just dont go to that board.... so thought I would post here too. Would be great to hear some of the wise words of you guys over there though... theres only a few of us active on the site. Hi...	Oksie	13	588	Mar 26, 2012 by pineapple
	use it or lose it? (Preview) Well just a little note about this site. It has been a god send for so many of us. We have been truly blessed to have a venue to come and find help and comfort. Recently the chat room meetings have been experiencing a leadership vacuum. Never enough chairs, dwindling attendance because of a lack of consis...	sirchef	6	406	Mar 26, 2012 by wp
	I feel like a fool (Preview) On March 4th I entered this community. Just to review, I have been in a relationship with my husband for 3 1/2 years and married for almost a year. He has been an alcholic for most of his life. I have been tolerated this since we met. At first we drank together. I truly didn't know he had such a deep problem. L...	RR	11	582	Mar 26, 2012 by I am lost
	New to this... (Preview) Where do I start? I feel so stupid, and naive, for believing that my husband was actually keeping his promise, that he had stopped drinking. He doesn't get fall down drunk, not at first. He begins slowly, sneaking (always sneaking, never in front of me or anybody else) a few beers- admittedly behin...	AlexisK	6	453	Mar 26, 2012 by pinkchip
	Anniversary meeting (Preview) I attended an anniversary meeting for the first time last night (not sure if these are common at all Al Anon groups?). We had 3 speakers, one from AA, one from Alateen, and one from Al Anon. It was a great meeting and really rejuvinated me. The AA speaker talked about how being drunk made her feel alive and...	usedtobeanyer	5	300	Mar 25, 2012 by Jerry F
	I Have a Crazy Life Inside My Head (Preview) I'm new here. There is one alcoholic and one recovered alcoholic in my mother's immediate family. I hardly have a story to tell about them because I totally and completely avoid them, and have since I was a little kid. But...it's like there's a second-hand effect. I ended up dating an alcoholic (4 year...	Alea	5	540	Mar 25, 2012 by Jerry F
	Feeling all Zen...and then... (Preview) ex A shows up to pick up 15 year old. Mild alcohol smell..leftover from last night? scares me bc my 9 year old was with him yesterday Feeling guilty that I didn't breathalzye him before letting him take my 15 year old... he has no job, no money, offers not one dime for child support.... he tells me he got a gr...	rehprof	6	569	Mar 24, 2012 by Jerry F
	My Management Team at Work are Classic Alcoholic Behaviors (Preview) I have to laugh so I don't cry. I've been at my current career for 6 years, promoted twice. I guess because I'd have to admit I'm an enabler here. Since I'm a single mom and my ex provides zero financial support for my kids, I do what I have to for a paycheck and am actively looking outside for a new job. I di...	AStrongerMe	5	516	Mar 24, 2012 by Michelle814
	drained after counseling session - need some strength (Preview) I like the message and guidance this program offers. I believe many would benefit from it even if they don't have alcohol in their lives. My spouse and I are also in counseling and the format and philosophy is so very different than what we learn in this program to the point that I feel conflicted. She r...	amills4294	7	630	Mar 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	Why now! (Preview) So, Ive been working my program and doing pretty well. I thought my ah was doing well too, until today. I left yesterday on a business trip. I get a text today from a woman I don't know explaining she went to school w my husband and that last night he sent her a text that only read "?", she says he pr...	surfgirl123	6	523	Mar 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	So Exhausted by All of This (Preview) I saw a tax lawyer today and will see my tax advisor tomorrow. I'm so exhausted by the huge mess I am in due to my AH's business mess. I can't fix it- it's out of my hands. I didn't cause it, yet I might lose everything I have worked hard for. This is not right. The anger that is inside me right now is all consumin...	Green Eyes	6	556	Mar 24, 2012 by Green Eyes
	Radical Acceptance (Preview) Since I truly gave up my life to my HP and started to live in reality, I have noticed a coorelation. Each time I have made a conscious choice to accept life on life's terms, something wonderful opens up for me. You might recall from past posts that I have been struggling with losing my in-laws. It's real...	Dolly Llama	8	622	Mar 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Burning again .. LOL! (Preview) AND this time no flipping over backwards on logs .. geeze!! No great pithanies of healing, and no need to analyze what I'm doing or not doing. I couldn't get the stupid mower started now I'm thinking I want one of those push button starters. I've never started a mower like this before so that will wait...	Pushka	10	518	Mar 24, 2012 by Pushka
	Working My Program (Preview) My life for the past 9 months has been in a word exhausting. I've been actively participating in Al-Anon for the past 5 months. I've learned, I've grown, I've most certainly appreciated this board and the program! A pattern had developed in my marriage. Something would come up about every 2 weeks and m...	Jackie11	6	359	Mar 24, 2012 by Michelle814
	just a quick little share. (Preview) I saw this on FB this morning and I liked it so I thought I would share with ya'll. "I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours and Gods. Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our business. When I think, You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on t...	daisy31	5	296	Mar 24, 2012 by Michelle814
	More on "Recovering" Spouses (Preview) There have been some posts on spouses/significant others who are sober, either working a program or not, and I thought Id chime in with my own issue. My AH and I separated last year after his drinking got out of control. After he, for lack of better term, lost his mind and got fired from his job, he entere...	nyc018	7	543	Mar 24, 2012 by Michelle814
	More changes .. (Preview) I have to give myself an atta girl because I have just sorted through 2 years of paperwork on the inside of my house. I have cleared out 4 large totes as well as numerous plastic shopping bags (more than 9) of paperwork, garbage you name it. It has taken me 7 days or so to get through it all .. I just kept doing...	Pushka	10	366	Mar 24, 2012 by Pushka
	Do you ever get overwhelmed? (Preview) Hey ya'll! I was wondering if getting overwhelmed easily was something that is common among people in the program. I remember my mother being EXTREMELY overwhelmed from things going on around her. She was very affected by alcohol in her growing up years but never really drank herself. Now bein...	daisy31	7	649	Mar 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Interview w/ Ashley Judd talking recovery (Preview) I was searching through old posts on this board and found this great interview someone posted awhile back. I thought I would post it again. It is really inspiring and it shows that ANYONE can be affected by this disease of alcoholism. I love how Ashley talks about recovery. http://www.bing.com...	daisy31	2	4167	Mar 24, 2012 by John
	When...how to move on (Preview) My divorce will be final in a number of weeks. I have lived on my own since July. And most recently I've filed felony theft charges on my husband. I didn't want any of this. It still isn't what I want. But I felt they were the only choices I had left. Now I don't know what to do. He still has this idea that we can m...	respect	6	506	Mar 24, 2012 by Jerry F
	taking a break (Preview) My A has recently been on a non stop binge. Even with all of my alanon superpowers I admit that it was starting to get to me. The good news - a friend of ours is out of the country for a few months. I asked him if I could use his house while he is gone. He gave me the keys before he left. So I am currently enjoying hav...	pineapple	9	424	Mar 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	real quick: it is almost time to go! (Preview) I can only make a short post as it is almost time to go! I am doing so well that I am not going to complain: not once today! God is so good to me & I am so grateful! I am even back to putting exclamation points at the end of my sentences!!!!!! *To those of you who don't know me, I have bipolar disorder & I am k...*	Hoot Nanny	1	270	Mar 24, 2012 by hotrod
	Guess who went on a date last weekend? (Preview) Yep that is right, ME. The guy was a perfect gentleman, took me bowling and to a nice dinner. He opened doors for me and paid for everything and looks forward to taking me out again, if I would allow it he said. I am thinking I am going to like this dating thing. I didn't feel like I owed him anything of myself (...	Breakingfree	7	366	Mar 24, 2012 by bud
	I think my husband is an alcoholic but I'm not sure (Preview) My husband drank a lot when we first got together. I didn't like it and since his mother is definitely an alcoholic, I told him I was concerned he would become an alcoholic too. Before we were married, he cut back his drinking to a couple of beers or glasses of wine a night and he has mostly kept to that for th...	Pris	5	2221	Mar 24, 2012 by kael1539
	Quick share- shut out by in laws (Preview) I thought my in laws and I were close. They called me their daughter. I opened up to them about my own family, who I do not have a relationship with. I really bonded with the children in the family as well. 2 weeks separated and none of them acknowledged my birthday. Not even a note on my stupid Facebook...	Dolly Llama	4	563	Mar 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Nice little gem on a magnet I saw today... (Preview) "If the grass is greener on the other side, it's time to water your grass." EXACTLY what I needed to see today. Thank you, HP, for sending me the message I needed for my own serenity and emotional health.	stephaniej	9	365	Mar 23, 2012 by pineapple
	Re-connecting with recovering spouse (Preview) Hi all, my wife is in recovery and things are going pretty well. We relate better to each other then we did a year or two ago, as we have both learned a lot about how to navigate through challenging times as a result of both of our programs. That being said, we are in no way connected on the level we once were. T...	usedtobeanyer	9	406	Mar 23, 2012 by sookie
	Wife...recovering alcoholic and BPD (Preview) Anyone married to a recovering alcohlic who also suffers from Borderline Personality disorder...or any other personality disorder (Bi-polar, Narcissistic Personality Disorder..they are similar). My wife is 8 months sober and was diagnosed with BPD in Nov. She is quite a handful. We have 3...	gojojo	7	2151	Mar 23, 2012 by Oksie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.