Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

AH is in the hospital tonight. Could be pancreas, could be liver... they are running tests. He hasn't been living at the house for the last month and he has been getting increasingly more physically ill. He called me tonight to let me know he is in the hospital. He has been vomiting daily and not eating. H...

breakaway1958 · breakaway1958

It has been 6 days since I walked away and the pain inside of me is overwhelming. He is 57 and an alcoholic. I am 54 and we have known each other 7 years. I consider myself intelligent, well read and responsible. When it comes to relationships, I am an idiot. I never considered myself co-dependent...

Oksie · Oksie

Hi all, I am off on Monday for a three week holiday around Asia. I am going to bali, then bangkok, then laos, then singapore (for my birthday) then home again for ANZAC day (25 April). So.... I will be here for a day or two more, but then you won't see me. I am very excited about this holiday. My husband ha...

hicktownmom · hicktownmom

I'm having a hard time deciding what is detachment and what is a "free pass." My AH is not in a program but he quit drinking about two weeks ago after I mentioned that I thought he needed to seek help. Since then, I have been reading Al-Anon and codependency literature and doing my very best t...

daisy31 · daisy31

I know I keep posting...sorry! but I was wondering if I can start the steps myself? I asked a lady the other day to be my sponosor and she said that she is so full on her schedule and is sponsoring someone else. So should I just wait to find the right person or can I start myself?

Pushka · Pushka

Well just a quick update and who knows what tomorrow will bring I had so much to think about today. It's probably a good thing I was 1/2 as busy as I was .. lol. Something that really hit me most of all is when I am hurt emotionally I go straight to anger and stay there .. when I am angry I can cut all ties and not f...

meaniemariska · meaniemariska

Hi Everyone. My name is Mariska and I just found this board. I'm relieved and disappointed that there are so many people going through what I am. Though I was aware that I was living with someone that had issues, I did not realize until yesterday (at marriage counseling) that they have a name for what he i...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t48520866/step-10-alanon/

Melody F · Melody F

Boy this is my week for "powerless" lessons. My oldest son (32 yrs) has been sober for just over a year...he chooses to do it without any help. He also battles with bi-polar and recently went off his meds. He was on an up swing at the time and did well for a few weeks but now he has crashed again wi...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I'm in the process of watching my daughter's dad's family become increasingly manipulative .. The family disease will Always try to dominate and now it's become such a 3 ring circus with his sister & mother and him that there is absolutely no way i can control any of it .. The sister has resorted to p...

bud · bud

Im no longer able to pretend or ignore that things arent the way that I wanted them to be. Those that are close to me know that Ive been divorced for 6 years; my sister does not.She is not mentally well, has harmed me (and others) many times, is meddling, and has an extensive sense of entitlement. I found...

GeneralLee · GeneralLee

So, tonight I had to go to work. And wife was drinking. This is her 4th or 5th day of drinking 1/3 of a 1.75 L bottle a day. This is typically where we start to fight. So, after the fight I was waiting til it was time to go to work. She was badgering me to "Get the ____ out" of the house. One of my bou...

Pushka · Pushka

This seems to be a current theme at the moment. I'm doing ok and then not doing ok. I do fine when I'm not around my AH and then when we are together .. of course I wind up looking like the crazy person. I'm working my program, .. logically I know what is going on, .. I can even go as far as saying this is what I n...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Aftter almost 2 weeks in the critical care unit with the most severe case of DT's the doctor said that he had ever seen, the doctor announces today at noon to my husband that he is being released tonight. On Tuesday, I talked to the doctor and asked him when he expected him to be released because I was wor...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

When my AH was dry for 15 years he occasionally would drink NA beer. Actually, he'd go through periods where he'd binge on it for short periods of time and then not buy it for months. One of the things he was doing recently, before the DUI, is mixing NA beer with regular beer when he was around me to make it...

Jozie · Jozie

Since I Started My Al-Anon Journey I have had to go back and look at some pretty ugly things in my past... Not All Ugly but there was many when living in a SICK Home... I Had a Friend that I Met thru one of my Afathers Drunkin Buddys he brought home a couple times, this man was a Horrible person to say the least,...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

People really show you who they are. My AH, 3 weeks separated, is turning up his a-hole attitude. Maybe I could be kind and say that it seems his addiction is really working him right now. I feel physically sick when I interact with him. We are tying up the loose ends and contact is infrequent, but nec...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello everyone, Considering I live in a larger urban area you'd think I could get lost from my exAH and family's scope. Today I was warned by a good friend (and yes i consider it a warning with good intentions at heart not gossip) that my exAH has told his family that he is moving back to this area to take car...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am trying very hard to use humor in my life! Thusly, I am trying to catch some of you who are having a bad day. My brain is definitely on overload these days. I just started a group for my MH yesterday--another confidential group--how is my brain going to hold all this info in for weeks upon weeks! Between...

Tracy · Tracy

Before al anon I had no boundaries. Before al anon I wanted to plaese others all the time. I wanted to be accepted I could not say no I was naivte believing that all people were good. I was over conscienious, always willing to see another point of view an give them benefit of the doubt make excuses for their...

amills4294 · amills4294

When I was growing up I never had anyone to tell me how to handle conflict or difficult situation. I never felt like I had anyone to ask and I just wanted to hide from it or cower down or ignore it in hopes that it would go away. My daughter is in 6th grade. She had her first real disagreement with one of her gir...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

A recent entry in Courage to Change got me thinking about my higher power and the idea that if I truly believe and have faith and trust that my higher power will care for me and provide what I need, then the fear and stress and worry that is so much a part of my life should go away. I'm not even talking about jus...

Tuesday · Tuesday

My bipolar alcoholic husband relapsed 2 months ago. I wrote about it here before. I removed myself with kids from the house. Now I found out he is smoking crack. Never used drugs when we were married. I am terrified. I know this is the end. Crackaddicts commit fraud, steal, sell the things. YestERDAY...

orchidlover · orchidlover

For the past 18 months at the store I work at I've weathered a split shift any time there was one. This week I said no. I had to cross the bridge of knowing they were not going to take care of me to get to that one. I prefer this side of the bridge to the hoping and wanting them to like me one. Maresie.

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I have not wrote in a while but I am on reading whenever I feel I need my al-anon jolt, like coffee. I feel an ease about my program right now and I know I am exactlty where I need to be. When I make mistakes, I don't have my melt downs in my head anymore. I just accept it and move forward. I keep moving forward. M...

KateEN · KateEN

I've been battling feelings of jealousy in my relationship lately. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and is actually extremely trustworthy and honest. However, I have been having feelings of jealousy about his ex-girlfriend, coworkers, and friends lately. It's so irrational and I don't want...

daisy31 · daisy31

We have a little boy who comes to play at our house with my kids and he is the sweetest most amazing little boy. His home life is not so good and we have always tried to keep a decent relationship with his parents because we want this little guy to be able to keep coming over. So the other day the little boy co...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hey everyone. So my ex ABF did end up going to his training program. I doubted if he was actually going to leave. But he is gone for two months. We left on good terms and agreed to talk to each other but to take time to work on ourselves and figure out what we need in a partner. Im a little torn right now because s...

julesredgirl · julesredgirl

I am just sad today. Crying a lot since yesterday. which started out for no reason. I just woke up really depressed and angry. Im not sure if its cause Im a woman and it is that time, or Im emotionally drained from all that's been going on, or just physically drained cause I cant remember the last time I had a...

Cosmos · Cosmos

Hi I have earlier written about my rollercoaster of a life, very much evolving around my alcoholic in recovery. I studied in England for three years and finally got my bachelor degree in marine biology after last summer. That last year of my studies I lived with my then former girlfriend. She becam...

Melody F · Melody F

So happy to have found this forum! I've been a grateful member of Alanon for many years but I've never been part of an online group before. I really look forward to sharing and learning with you all!

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

I had sort of a lightbulb moment about unhappiness and lack of intimacy, I know we've discusses this before. I go through periods in my life of having fantasys of affairs, I know it's wrong but it is just in my head. I'm far too uptight and have too great a conscience to really ever do that! But I was thinkin...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

All my stuff just got mentally vomited to the top. I work in a high stress, high complication job industry, highly compensated but not worth the insanity we live with. I applied with another department (I like my employer not my department) knowing it's less pay and ok with that. But oh...my....HP...

orchidlover · orchidlover

As many of you know I'm going through a hard time with finances and logistics at the moment. I have been barely making it. Normally I would be full of resenmtment towards various people and issues about my situation. Last night I spent a lovely evening at home with my pets, watching dvd's and catching...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I've gotten very good at just ignoring my AH's rages and removing myself from his presence when he loses his temper. Result? The alcoholism finds a new way to get to me. My AH has toned down the rages a lot (which don't get me wrong, is a WONDERFUL thing). So the alcoholism has whispered in his ear that h...

thechee · thechee

and everyone was so nice. Of course it being my first time I did not share a lot and was a bit standoffish...not mean, just quiet. Now I can't stop crying. Why did I do this to myself? Why did I get involved when all those red flags were flying high? I'm...sad...feel sorry for myself....feel angry at mysel...

brit · brit

I feel awful. Just a few days ago I posted about my 25 yr old son, saying that I thought he was still drinking, but not sure. I was feeling very confused. Well, I had a chat with him. Stopped trying to control his life and his using. Told him that the only house rule was no drinking or getting high. He cried, he...

arie1269 · arie1269

Hello everyone, i am in need of some serious help!! To make a long story short my mom has become an alcoholic. All my life she has always been addicted to something 6 months ago it was pills, but the doctors stopped giving them to her so she started drinking and drinking and drinking. My plan is because i ha...

Lauren87 · Lauren87

I'm brand new to this. All of this. I wanted to do a quick intro... My name is Lauren. I'm 30. And I'm "lucky" enough to be married to an alcoholic. We've been married for 3 years (well almost) and for the last 2 he's been drinking...heavily. And I recently discovered he's using xanax too. I ha...

sunnysmile · sunnysmile

My alcoholic boyfriend relapsed this evening. He had 3 months of sobriety under his belt. I realize that's not a long time and that he was still considered to be very early in his recovery. But still, those 3 months were very good, strong months. I'm not even sure what prompted the drink this evening. I'...

Bree · Bree

Hi all...tonight my dad (who hasn't had a drink in over 2 years) got into an argument with my bother and got drunk. I don't know what to do or say to help anyone in the situation (my mom or dad). They are on the mainland and I'm in Hawaii so it isn't as easy as flying there just to be supportive. This hasn't been...

HAguirre · HAguirre

My ah has been sober for 9 months and he said he doesn't rember hurting me so he won't say his admens to me why I don't understand any advice

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

I am working the Alanon steps. My husband is an active alcoholic. One of my biggest issues right now is that he blames me for everything. I am learning to let that go without acting like a martyr or getting angry. It's really hard, but I am learning to keep my mouth shut and ignore it. One thing I can't ignor...

stephaniej · stephaniej

She was hospitalized on Saturday night with a systemic, antibiotic-resistent staph infection. Her health is very poor.

Grace7 · Grace7

I Wish! I would have known that my ex's addiction impaired his circulatory system, so much so that his organ was in operable:) A nicer way to say it. In true alcoholic fashion, he berated me again and again for his inability to function....it was MY fault! He even yelled at me in front of my adolescent...

orchidlover · orchidlover

Another co worker of mine at the store is pregnant. She is a young, unwed mother and does not have many resources. Needless to say the store manager isn't giving her more hours to help her out financially. Normally I would be adopting someone like this as my pet project. I would be worrying about what s...

Oksie · Oksie

As some of you may remember from my other sign on name... I have some major and massive control issues. Some people post things about controlling their spouses drinking and rationale that they wouldn't control other parts of the partners life, so why alcohol.. well.. I am guilty of controlling ever...

youngnlost · youngnlost

Hello All, I am new here as I have stumbled upon this site while looking for meeting information in my town. I have read some of the posts here and really feel a connection. I am going to tell my story, as it is one you have all heard before, but I feel like I need to let someone know the burden I have carried. I...

thechee · thechee

I posted yesterday and everyone was so wonderful. I looked for Al Anon meetings here and the closest one is 58 miles from here. I don't get that, but what can I do? My question is...does it seems that alcoholics start drama even when they are sober? I ask because my soon to be ex seemed to go out of his way to p...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was seriously thinking about getting ahold of my first boyfriend recently whom I do not hate by the way! I tried to reach out--foolishly but realized that he is not someone I really want to catch up w/. Last time I saw him he was sober & still attending AA meetings. I just thought that I might like to k...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...bear with me as I tag on to Young's post "Clarity" for the moment with 2 more cents. When I read a post that includes mention of violence within the disease my "Spidey" senses go into full alert from my own experiences in the disease and as an Alternatives To Vio...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

As I have gone through this process of recovery, I think I have learned most about how my HP works. My HP certainly doesn't make things easy, and it's not all about instant gratification. I have felt multiple times where I have been pushed & challenged, where I have felt hopeless and fed up, where th...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I feel so stupid today for my post on Sat. I really feel I should have not mentioned that exbf situation. I guess I was feeling a little sentimental & really stretching going back in time. Why can't I just close the door? I sometimes think that I do that because my Ah is not interesting enough--what...

willowtree · willowtree

We are planning on going to see a friend of mine this summer and her and her family have never met my husband and kids. I am already starting to worry how my kids will behave (they are very wild and rambunxious and fight a lot) and my friends kids are so well behaved and they come from a very calm, almost perf...

Hope999 · Hope999

Does anyone have a book recommendation aimed at the families of alcoholics who are not currently drinking and not in a recovery program? I bought the book "Getting them Sober" and while I agree there is some really great information here, it is aimed at the spouse of an active alcoholic....

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I've been letting my A/A daughter clean my house 1xwk. for several months, I got her cable on my credit card, (she needed a credit card) to have it turned on and that come out of the cleaning fees. We have had some conflict from time to time, me letting her have money up front. There was a big problem with c...

rara avis · rara avis

Hi everyone! The serenity buster: I came home from 1 day out of town to find a bouquet of lillies, no card, on my doorstep. I can't fathom who I know who would drop flowers off sans card, I asked around anyway but no one had a clue. This detail is important as the cards were dropped off on the day of my ex RA'...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I prayed for clarity and wow did HP deliver!!! I have communicated more with my AH in the past week then in the previous 9 months. We sat on the porch yesterday and talked for hours. He hasn't had a drink since Thursday, and I know that this could change at any time his recovery is his own, I simply asked him t...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

(tried to fix formatting, missed some) I'm no expert on anything, well except for my own life

This will be long - I won't be hurt if you don't read it LOL. I thought I'd share the "healthy detachment" perspective as it relates to someone who isnt an alcoholic. Because healthy detac...

HAguirre · HAguirre

OK so my husband is now 9 months sober and within the past 2. Weeks he has started to get emotionally mean again. I feel emotionally tired and he sayhes going to help but doesn't I work 7 days a week he works 3 and he says mean things to me when I take naps before I go to work he just told me that if I keep making him...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I'm scared (Preview) AH is in the hospital tonight. Could be pancreas, could be liver... they are running tests. He hasn't been living at the house for the last month and he has been getting increasingly more physically ill. He called me tonight to let me know he is in the hospital. He has been vomiting daily and not eating. H...	Very Very Tired	14	630	Mar 31, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	I got out.....but it hurts (Preview) It has been 6 days since I walked away and the pain inside of me is overwhelming. He is 57 and an alcoholic. I am 54 and we have known each other 7 years. I consider myself intelligent, well read and responsible. When it comes to relationships, I am an idiot. I never considered myself co-dependent...	breakaway1958	8	627	Mar 31, 2012 by orchidlover
	off on holidays to Asia (Preview) Hi all, I am off on Monday for a three week holiday around Asia. I am going to bali, then bangkok, then laos, then singapore (for my birthday) then home again for ANZAC day (25 April). So.... I will be here for a day or two more, but then you won't see me. I am very excited about this holiday. My husband ha...	Oksie	4	380	Mar 31, 2012 by orchidlover
	Detachment Versus Free Pass (Preview) I'm having a hard time deciding what is detachment and what is a "free pass." My AH is not in a program but he quit drinking about two weeks ago after I mentioned that I thought he needed to seek help. Since then, I have been reading Al-Anon and codependency literature and doing my very best t...	hicktownmom	22	778	Mar 31, 2012 by hicktownmom
	sponsor question (Preview) I know I keep posting...sorry! but I was wondering if I can start the steps myself? I asked a lady the other day to be my sponosor and she said that she is so full on her schedule and is sponsoring someone else. So should I just wait to find the right person or can I start myself?	daisy31	8	708	Mar 31, 2012 by peace2me
	New Detachment Awareness (Preview) Well just a quick update and who knows what tomorrow will bring I had so much to think about today. It's probably a good thing I was 1/2 as busy as I was .. lol. Something that really hit me most of all is when I am hurt emotionally I go straight to anger and stay there .. when I am angry I can cut all ties and not f...	Pushka	4	613	Mar 31, 2012 by hotrod
	New Here (Preview) Hi Everyone. My name is Mariska and I just found this board. I'm relieved and disappointed that there are so many people going through what I am. Though I was aware that I was living with someone that had issues, I did not realize until yesterday (at marriage counseling) that they have a name for what he i...	meaniemariska	3	311	Mar 31, 2012 by Mattie
	Step Work Board (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t48520866/step-10-alanon/	hotrod	0	308	Mar 31, 2012 by hotrod
	Powerless (Preview) Boy this is my week for "powerless" lessons. My oldest son (32 yrs) has been sober for just over a year...he chooses to do it without any help. He also battles with bi-polar and recently went off his meds. He was on an up swing at the time and did well for a few weeks but now he has crashed again wi...	Melody F	2	349	Mar 31, 2012 by Oksie
	Growing Manipulation & Concern (Preview) I'm in the process of watching my daughter's dad's family become increasingly manipulative .. The family disease will Always try to dominate and now it's become such a 3 ring circus with his sister & mother and him that there is absolutely no way i can control any of it .. The sister has resorted to p...	MeTwo2	4	639	Mar 31, 2012 by MeTwo2
	help, please- feels like I've fallen apart (Preview) Im no longer able to pretend or ignore that things arent the way that I wanted them to be. Those that are close to me know that Ive been divorced for 6 years; my sister does not.She is not mentally well, has harmed me (and others) many times, is meddling, and has an extensive sense of entitlement. I found...	bud	7	690	Mar 31, 2012 by Jennifer
	1st Alanon Meeting Tonight (Preview) So, tonight I had to go to work. And wife was drinking. This is her 4th or 5th day of drinking 1/3 of a 1.75 L bottle a day. This is typically where we start to fight. So, after the fight I was waiting til it was time to go to work. She was badgering me to "Get the ____ out" of the house. One of my bou...	GeneralLee	8	757	Mar 31, 2012 by GeneralLee
	Struggling with Detachment (Preview) This seems to be a current theme at the moment. I'm doing ok and then not doing ok. I do fine when I'm not around my AH and then when we are together .. of course I wind up looking like the crazy person. I'm working my program, .. logically I know what is going on, .. I can even go as far as saying this is what I n...	Pushka	10	713	Mar 31, 2012 by Jerry F
	Exhausted - what would you do? (Preview) Aftter almost 2 weeks in the critical care unit with the most severe case of DT's the doctor said that he had ever seen, the doctor announces today at noon to my husband that he is being released tonight. On Tuesday, I talked to the doctor and asked him when he expected him to be released because I was wor...	WornOutMrsFixIt	7	659	Mar 30, 2012 by orchidlover
	Non alcoholic beer? (Preview) When my AH was dry for 15 years he occasionally would drink NA beer. Actually, he'd go through periods where he'd binge on it for short periods of time and then not buy it for months. One of the things he was doing recently, before the DUI, is mixing NA beer with regular beer when he was around me to make it...	ilovedogs	11	871	Mar 30, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Funny How HP Always Lets me know.... (Preview) Since I Started My Al-Anon Journey I have had to go back and look at some pretty ugly things in my past... Not All Ugly but there was many when living in a SICK Home... I Had a Friend that I Met thru one of my Afathers Drunkin Buddys he brought home a couple times, this man was a Horrible person to say the least,...	Jozie	3	490	Mar 30, 2012 by danni
	Detaching from insult (Preview) People really show you who they are. My AH, 3 weeks separated, is turning up his a-hole attitude. Maybe I could be kind and say that it seems his addiction is really working him right now. I feel physically sick when I interact with him. We are tying up the loose ends and contact is infrequent, but nec...	Dolly Llama	6	592	Mar 30, 2012 by Mattie
	Uck ... back to basics + Sparky and other updates (Preview) Hello everyone, Considering I live in a larger urban area you'd think I could get lost from my exAH and family's scope. Today I was warned by a good friend (and yes i consider it a warning with good intentions at heart not gossip) that my exAH has told his family that he is moving back to this area to take car...	Jennifer	1	409	Mar 30, 2012 by Pushka
	OK here comes the brain! (Preview) I am trying very hard to use humor in my life! Thusly, I am trying to catch some of you who are having a bad day. My brain is definitely on overload these days. I just started a group for my MH yesterday--another confidential group--how is my brain going to hold all this info in for weeks upon weeks! Between...	Hoot Nanny	1	344	Mar 30, 2012 by hotrod
	boundaries self care (Preview) Before al anon I had no boundaries. Before al anon I wanted to plaese others all the time. I wanted to be accepted I could not say no I was naivte believing that all people were good. I was over conscienious, always willing to see another point of view an give them benefit of the doubt make excuses for their...	Tracy	8	541	Mar 29, 2012 by maire rua
	Using the Tools to provide guidance to my daughter (Preview) When I was growing up I never had anyone to tell me how to handle conflict or difficult situation. I never felt like I had anyone to ask and I just wanted to hide from it or cower down or ignore it in hopes that it would go away. My daughter is in 6th grade. She had her first real disagreement with one of her gir...	amills4294	2	359	Mar 29, 2012 by Mattie
	No more fear, anxiety, stress, worry...is it possible? (Preview) A recent entry in Courage to Change got me thinking about my higher power and the idea that if I truly believe and have faith and trust that my higher power will care for me and provide what I need, then the fear and stress and worry that is so much a part of my life should go away. I'm not even talking about jus...	usedtobeanyer	11	887	Mar 29, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	how to stop this insanity (Preview) My bipolar alcoholic husband relapsed 2 months ago. I wrote about it here before. I removed myself with kids from the house. Now I found out he is smoking crack. Never used drugs when we were married. I am terrified. I know this is the end. Crackaddicts commit fraud, steal, sell the things. YestERDAY...	Tuesday	6	584	Mar 29, 2012 by amills4294
	More progress not perfection. (Preview) For the past 18 months at the store I work at I've weathered a split shift any time there was one. This week I said no. I had to cross the bridge of knowing they were not going to take care of me to get to that one. I prefer this side of the bridge to the hoping and wanting them to like me one. Maresie.	orchidlover	5	372	Mar 29, 2012 by orchidlover
	recovery, so far (Preview) I have not wrote in a while but I am on reading whenever I feel I need my al-anon jolt, like coffee. I feel an ease about my program right now and I know I am exactlty where I need to be. When I make mistakes, I don't have my melt downs in my head anymore. I just accept it and move forward. I keep moving forward. M...	Michelle814	10	531	Mar 29, 2012 by glad lee
	Hidden Jealousy Jealousy insecurity (Preview) I've been battling feelings of jealousy in my relationship lately. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and is actually extremely trustworthy and honest. However, I have been having feelings of jealousy about his ex-girlfriend, coworkers, and friends lately. It's so irrational and I don't want...	KateEN	5	833	Mar 29, 2012 by maryjane
	Did I make the right choice? (Preview) We have a little boy who comes to play at our house with my kids and he is the sweetest most amazing little boy. His home life is not so good and we have always tried to keep a decent relationship with his parents because we want this little guy to be able to keep coming over. So the other day the little boy co...	daisy31	13	597	Mar 29, 2012 by BRAlanon
	Confused (Preview) Hey everyone. So my ex ABF did end up going to his training program. I doubted if he was actually going to leave. But he is gone for two months. We left on good terms and agreed to talk to each other but to take time to work on ourselves and figure out what we need in a partner. Im a little torn right now because s...	Corgi2	7	544	Mar 29, 2012 by pinkchip
	Sad and exhausted. (Preview) I am just sad today. Crying a lot since yesterday. which started out for no reason. I just woke up really depressed and angry. Im not sure if its cause Im a woman and it is that time, or Im emotionally drained from all that's been going on, or just physically drained cause I cant remember the last time I had a...	julesredgirl	3	477	Mar 29, 2012 by pinkchip
	Dilemma (Preview) Hi I have earlier written about my rollercoaster of a life, very much evolving around my alcoholic in recovery. I studied in England for three years and finally got my bachelor degree in marine biology after last summer. That last year of my studies I lived with my then former girlfriend. She becam...	Cosmos	4	562	Mar 29, 2012 by hotrod
	New to this forum (Preview) So happy to have found this forum! I've been a grateful member of Alanon for many years but I've never been part of an online group before. I really look forward to sharing and learning with you all!	Melody F	6	373	Mar 29, 2012 by abbyal
	Lack of intimacy= unhappiness (Preview) I had sort of a lightbulb moment about unhappiness and lack of intimacy, I know we've discusses this before. I go through periods in my life of having fantasys of affairs, I know it's wrong but it is just in my head. I'm far too uptight and have too great a conscience to really ever do that! But I was thinkin...	GreenerGrass	5	719	Mar 29, 2012 by Aloha
	All my stuff LOL (Preview) All my stuff just got mentally vomited to the top. I work in a high stress, high complication job industry, highly compensated but not worth the insanity we live with. I applied with another department (I like my employer not my department) knowing it's less pay and ok with that. But oh...my....HP...	AStrongerMe	7	600	Mar 29, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Relaxation (Preview) As many of you know I'm going through a hard time with finances and logistics at the moment. I have been barely making it. Normally I would be full of resenmtment towards various people and issues about my situation. Last night I spent a lovely evening at home with my pets, watching dvd's and catching...	orchidlover	2	443	Mar 29, 2012 by hotrod
	Dang, alcoholism is SMART (Preview) I've gotten very good at just ignoring my AH's rages and removing myself from his presence when he loses his temper. Result? The alcoholism finds a new way to get to me. My AH has toned down the rages a lot (which don't get me wrong, is a WONDERFUL thing). So the alcoholism has whispered in his ear that h...	stephaniej	8	603	Mar 29, 2012 by Jerry F
	So I Went To My first Al Anon Meeting.... (Preview) and everyone was so nice. Of course it being my first time I did not share a lot and was a bit standoffish...not mean, just quiet. Now I can't stop crying. Why did I do this to myself? Why did I get involved when all those red flags were flying high? I'm...sad...feel sorry for myself....feel angry at mysel...	thechee	10	564	Mar 28, 2012 by thechee
	I put him out (Preview) I feel awful. Just a few days ago I posted about my 25 yr old son, saying that I thought he was still drinking, but not sure. I was feeling very confused. Well, I had a chat with him. Stopped trying to control his life and his using. Told him that the only house rule was no drinking or getting high. He cried, he...	brit	5	472	Mar 28, 2012 by BRAlanon
	I need help with my mom (Preview) Hello everyone, i am in need of some serious help!! To make a long story short my mom has become an alcoholic. All my life she has always been addicted to something 6 months ago it was pills, but the doctors stopped giving them to her so she started drinking and drinking and drinking. My plan is because i ha...	arie1269	6	710	Mar 28, 2012 by orchidlover
	Hi...I'm new (Preview) I'm brand new to this. All of this. I wanted to do a quick intro... My name is Lauren. I'm 30. And I'm "lucky" enough to be married to an alcoholic. We've been married for 3 years (well almost) and for the last 2 he's been drinking...heavily. And I recently discovered he's using xanax too. I ha...	Lauren87	8	471	Mar 28, 2012 by canadianguy
	Feel so overwhelmed ... (Preview) My alcoholic boyfriend relapsed this evening. He had 3 months of sobriety under his belt. I realize that's not a long time and that he was still considered to be very early in his recovery. But still, those 3 months were very good, strong months. I'm not even sure what prompted the drink this evening. I'...	sunnysmile	6	600	Mar 28, 2012 by julesredgirl
	Dad relapse (Preview) Hi all...tonight my dad (who hasn't had a drink in over 2 years) got into an argument with my bother and got drunk. I don't know what to do or say to help anyone in the situation (my mom or dad). They are on the mainland and I'm in Hawaii so it isn't as easy as flying there just to be supportive. This hasn't been...	Bree	3	528	Mar 28, 2012 by Corgi2
	never said he was sorry (Preview) My ah has been sober for 9 months and he said he doesn't rember hurting me so he won't say his admens to me why I don't understand any advice	HAguirre	16	820	Mar 28, 2012 by Oksie
	Need Advice Hurting (Preview) I am working the Alanon steps. My husband is an active alcoholic. One of my biggest issues right now is that he blames me for everything. I am learning to let that go without acting like a martyr or getting angry. It's really hard, but I am learning to keep my mouth shut and ignore it. One thing I can't ignor...	TryingToChange	11	553	Mar 28, 2012 by TryingToChange
	Could y'all add my mom to your prayers today? (Preview) She was hospitalized on Saturday night with a systemic, antibiotic-resistent staph infection. Her health is very poor.	stephaniej	6	390	Mar 28, 2012 by Grace7
	Sexuality in the Alcoholic (Preview) I Wish! I would have known that my ex's addiction impaired his circulatory system, so much so that his organ was in operable:) A nicer way to say it. In true alcoholic fashion, he berated me again and again for his inability to function....it was MY fault! He even yelled at me in front of my adolescent...	Grace7	3	548	Mar 28, 2012 by Oksie
	Progress not perfection (Preview) Another co worker of mine at the store is pregnant. She is a young, unwed mother and does not have many resources. Needless to say the store manager isn't giving her more hours to help her out financially. Normally I would be adopting someone like this as my pet project. I would be worrying about what s...	orchidlover	2	450	Mar 28, 2012 by orchidlover
	Controlling my control issues (Preview) As some of you may remember from my other sign on name... I have some major and massive control issues. Some people post things about controlling their spouses drinking and rationale that they wouldn't control other parts of the partners life, so why alcohol.. well.. I am guilty of controlling ever...	Oksie	7	3288	Mar 28, 2012 by Oksie
	New to this :( (Preview) Hello All, I am new here as I have stumbled upon this site while looking for meeting information in my town. I have read some of the posts here and really feel a connection. I am going to tell my story, as it is one you have all heard before, but I feel like I need to let someone know the burden I have carried. I...	youngnlost	11	406	Mar 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	Are alcoholics drama kings/queens? (Preview) I posted yesterday and everyone was so wonderful. I looked for Al Anon meetings here and the closest one is 58 miles from here. I don't get that, but what can I do? My question is...does it seems that alcoholics start drama even when they are sober? I ask because my soon to be ex seemed to go out of his way to p...	thechee	12	4533	Mar 27, 2012 by All I can be
	don't want to step in that DO! (Preview) I was seriously thinking about getting ahold of my first boyfriend recently whom I do not hate by the way! I tried to reach out--foolishly but realized that he is not someone I really want to catch up w/. Last time I saw him he was sober & still attending AA meetings. I just thought that I might like to k...	Hoot Nanny	2	371	Mar 27, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Alcoholism and Violence of any kind (Preview) Aloha Family...bear with me as I tag on to Young's post "Clarity" for the moment with 2 more cents. When I read a post that includes mention of violence within the disease my "Spidey" senses go into full alert from my own experiences in the disease and as an Alternatives To Vio...	Jerry F	6	1019	Mar 27, 2012 by Wolfie55
	This too shall pass... (Preview) As I have gone through this process of recovery, I think I have learned most about how my HP works. My HP certainly doesn't make things easy, and it's not all about instant gratification. I have felt multiple times where I have been pushed & challenged, where I have felt hopeless and fed up, where th...	usedtobeanyer	3	649	Mar 27, 2012 by willowtree
	I feel so stupid... (Preview) I feel so stupid today for my post on Sat. I really feel I should have not mentioned that exbf situation. I guess I was feeling a little sentimental & really stretching going back in time. Why can't I just close the door? I sometimes think that I do that because my Ah is not interesting enough--what...	Hoot Nanny	3	391	Mar 27, 2012 by Wolfie55
	worrying what they will think (Preview) We are planning on going to see a friend of mine this summer and her and her family have never met my husband and kids. I am already starting to worry how my kids will behave (they are very wild and rambunxious and fight a lot) and my friends kids are so well behaved and they come from a very calm, almost perf...	willowtree	6	608	Mar 27, 2012 by willowtree
	Book Recommendations??? (Preview) Does anyone have a book recommendation aimed at the families of alcoholics who are not currently drinking and not in a recovery program? I bought the book "Getting them Sober" and while I agree there is some really great information here, it is aimed at the spouse of an active alcoholic....	Hope999	12	624	Mar 27, 2012 by Hope999
	A new day! (Preview) I've been letting my A/A daughter clean my house 1xwk. for several months, I got her cable on my credit card, (she needed a credit card) to have it turned on and that come out of the cleaning fees. We have had some conflict from time to time, me letting her have money up front. There was a big problem with c...	Highlyfavored	1	417	Mar 27, 2012 by Grace7
	Gratitude: modern technology! (Preview) Hi everyone! The serenity buster: I came home from 1 day out of town to find a bouquet of lillies, no card, on my doorstep. I can't fathom who I know who would drop flowers off sans card, I asked around anyway but no one had a clue. This detail is important as the cards were dropped off on the day of my ex RA'...	rara avis	5	468	Mar 27, 2012 by rara avis
	Clarity (Preview) I prayed for clarity and wow did HP deliver!!! I have communicated more with my AH in the past week then in the previous 9 months. We sat on the porch yesterday and talked for hours. He hasn't had a drink since Thursday, and I know that this could change at any time his recovery is his own, I simply asked him t...	Jackie11	5	506	Mar 27, 2012 by Michelle814
	Detachment, still learning (Preview) (tried to fix formatting, missed some) I'm no expert on anything, well except for my own life This will be long - I won't be hurt if you don't read it LOL. I thought I'd share the "healthy detachment" perspective as it relates to someone who isnt an alcoholic. Because healthy detac...	AStrongerMe	6	681	Mar 27, 2012 by Oksie
	though it would get better (Preview) OK so my husband is now 9 months sober and within the past 2. Weeks he has started to get emotionally mean again. I feel emotionally tired and he sayhes going to help but doesn't I work 7 days a week he works 3 and he says mean things to me when I take naps before I go to work he just told me that if I keep making him...	HAguirre	2	562	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.