Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

4 years of begging, yelling, crying and paying I did not make one thing better for either me or my son. Since October 30, 2012 when I came to accept the first step in Al-anon did my life begin to change. Yes I still worry, cry, fear and obsess sometimes ( never to my son) but I'm getting the help I need to over...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. Today, I found myself playing the victim and feeling sorry for myself, something that I acquired growing up in an alcoholic home. My alcoholic father got laid off from his jobs several times when I was a kid. He was never able to sti...

marycontrary · marycontrary

It was another long night, another barrage of crazy to somehow nutralize for my own sanity, so I can maintain my position. That being, the ability to be available when I am not working for a living to the particular people in my family who need a regular supportive presence. I have frail elderly parents...

Afraidparent · Afraidparent

Got a text from my daughter last night saying she wanted to "talk to us about how she feels." I didn't want to go to bed on a negative and lose sleep. Learned all of my lessons there. I don't respond at night and I don't look at my phone early in the morning. I give Myself time away from it and give...

jdlewis · jdlewis

My daughter is 33 and severely alcoholic. She lives with her husband on the east coast and the first intervention by her family (me, her father, brother and sister in law) was January of 2011. She has been to detox countless times and has spent at total of 75 days in treatment at Hazelden in Oregon. He...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

Im guessing Im emotionally detached, but we read something last night that made me really reflect- I became an alcoholic partially because of my damaged upbringing and the biggest part of it all was living with an alcoholic father, being abused by his wives (which Ive never really settled with becau...

DebLisa55 · DebLisa55

I am new here - found this website by mistake and I just need to vent. My husband of 25 years is an alcoholic. He has been drinking on and off for years but I never thought he had a problem until three years ago when I found out he was drinking at work, hiding beer from me in the garbage pail outside our house and...

oldergal · oldergal

My son who is my qualifier is seeing a counselor and doing a little better. Anyway his wife and him have 3 kids and his wife today ask me to borrow money so the bank won't take away their vehicle. Do I lend it or am I stopping a crisis? Causing soft landings. She is not an alcoholic, and he is making an attempt t...

afglin · afglin

I have a question for you. Last night at Alanon this came up. Two different people said their loved ones learned that the year you started drinking you totally stopped in mental years from then on. So if you started drinking at 13 you woudl remain 13 forever...even if you stopped drinking for a long tim...

rmbergeron1 · rmbergeron1

Hello, I am new to this site. I have been doing al-anon now for about a year. I sometimes feel stuck in one place. I listen to the tapes, I visit the forums, I read the books and readings. It all makes perfect sense, but I just can't seem to do it!! I know what I should do, but when I come home to my AH and he h...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Hello friends. I need some gudance today. I read today's Courage to Change entry about loving myself, loving my A, and loving others. The first and last, I understand, but the middle one is hard for me lately. How do I act lovingly to him, when I can smell the booze on his breath, and it makes my blood boi...

MDK · MDK

I haven't been on here in quite some time and I am glad I chose tonight to read some stories. I am going through some very hard issues right now. I am scared I feel lonely. I have even thought deep dark thoughts that creep up unexpectidly. I miss my friend Rodney now more than ever. He was the one I turned to an...

orchidlover · orchidlover

In my deeply mixed up view of life I had some idea that in the right place I could find someone who would take care of me. I had this view because I did not get taken care of as a child. I lived on survival. I did not get my needs met. Basically I had a roof over my head and not much else. Indeed the roof was barely a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been reminscing a lot lately. I am basically trying to let go but I find myself remembering past relationships, etc. Mostly I am remembering the sick ones. Doesn't it figure? I wish I could stop. All the alcoholics in my past whether they were in recovery or not. Some of them were really out there...

Janet007 · Janet007

I'm new to Al-Anon. My boyfriend who has been a drinker for 20+ years, 3 weeks ago, went to detox. We have been together for about a year and a half and he has been a heavy drinker the entire time. He has never been abusive and he doesn't hang out in bars nor did he drink hard liquor. He only drank beer,...

Minaret · Minaret

Hi All, Each week it seems that I deal with some other crazy thing my AH has done. I had to work on a Saturday this weekend because someone at my work called in sick. While I was at work, AH had both kids. Lately, he only has our DD (3 yrs old) while he is unemployed, and she is easier. Our DS, who is 6...

evejc02 · evejc02

Hello, Im new here. I have been reading the messages boards by just going to the search engine looking at topics of what i was feeling through another individual feelings. I have done this for 6 months now. Today I finally decided i should write about my own experince, my own hurt, my own everything. Lo...

Debilyn · Debilyn

He just called. This is a bit of my face book. I told myself I would say nothing about me. He asks how I am. I say just a sec I gotta turn off tv. got out of the question. yea sounded good then those feelings....I felt like I was doing everything wrong. Doing my best NOT to ask questions, listening, supportin...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I made a mistake and thought my net was off!! geez. It will be from the 14th to the 27th. I got a nice couch, so did not pay my bill for a bit. Anyway my/our relationship is very strong still and growing. Learning so much. It has come now that he has done all the business, told his ex and kids he is outa there for g...

midas · midas

I've tried to be spiritual and grounded and to reach out to others and to keep everything in perspective. But, you know, sometimes I just get ticked off... sometimes I'm done being all compassionate and spiritual and I'm just really angry. Does anyone else relate to this? The "bait and switch&q...

el-cee · el-cee

Recently, over the last few months I have been learning and growing through my meetings, reading and this forum. I am a work in progress and I have a long way to go but there is one thing that I have learned and I would like to share it. I hope I don't offend anyone and my purpose is to 'help' if I can. During the...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I am having a bit of a pity party but I am really feeling like I keep trying to do the right things but I keep getting my feelings hurt. Here goes my week. I am working for an atorney who thinks she never makes a mistake. She is good in Court but around the office she is a slob who is disorganized, always missi...

1976love · 1976love

Well, this weekend was trying. Good old social media for ya. My recovering ASIL who I have said before, is recovering, but is as self centered as they come, hit a new low. She currently lives at my inlaw's house with her husband and children because they have no where else to go. Her husband is out of t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am finding these days that I am moving forward slowly. I have been noticing that I am growing but feel that I am sometimes moving backwards. I am so confused sometimes where I am. Hopefully w/ more rest & exercise, I can feel & act normal for me. I want to vent so much these days but am afraid for pe...

blondie99 · blondie99

Hello friends - I'm a grateful Al-Anoner working it every day. I have a question I'm hoping someone smarter than me can help with. My AH is checking in tomorrow at 9 a.m. for this third stint in rehab. We have not been living together since he completed his second stint the day after Thanksgiving 2012. Du...

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

The meetings have been great, I have three more weeks of crutches and then I will be at rehab during the morning meetings. I will be happy to co chair meetings with anyone if you would like to learn to chair. This Thursday I won't be able to chair, I have carpet people coming to replace my 14 year old carpet....

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Monday Morning Everyone I talked to my son yesterday and it was nice. He is sober but I think it's because he doesn't have a dime to his name. After the talk my mind started up again thinking maybe I should ask him to clean my property ( weeds, tree trimming) and maybe paint my bedroon....in turn I w...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

It has been exactly one month today since my AH passed away unexpectedly from renal and liver failure, and it also would have been his 52nd birthday. I continue to be all over the board with my emotions: sometimes I'm sad and unconsolable, sometimes I'm angry, and sometimes there is a sense of relief (w...

Path to Serenity · Path to Serenity

My Mom died when I was 11 months old - death certificates indicates cause of death was tubercular meningitis. My father moved back home with his mom and she basically raised us while enabling my Dad's alcoholism & abuse of my sis & I. My Mom's family harbored a deep hatred for my Dad because of t...

DavidG · DavidG

Oh I shouldn't call this place a hick-town. It was an old gold-mining town, and a sheep town. I reckon a lot of people came here to run and hide. Before the main street was flooded there were three pubs in it. They were called 'the bottom', 'the middle' and 'the top'. There were two pubs in the outlying set...

John · John

imom · imom

Why is it bothering me that my AH doesn't want to communicate with me from rehab? he emailed our daughter but not me. The only time he contacted me is when he was at the airport and wanted money. So why do I care? He made the choice to continue to abuse drugs and alcohol. He endangered our entire neighb...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Things I am tired of.Tired of walking on eggshells, never knowing if what I say, or don't say, or do or don't do are going to make him drink. I must remember that I did not cause it, I cannot control and I cannot cure it.Tired of checking the bank account every day to see how much money he has withdrawn, worr...

hurting at 36 · hurting at 36

Hi everyone. This is my first time here and honestly my first time ever reaching out to anyone. My hope is to find people to relate to as right now I'm pretty angry at myself. I'll soon tell you why. I've been to 1 al anon meeting in the past when I was a teenager but haven't been since. My name is Tracie an...

newwoman · newwoman

For whatever this is worth... i have been on this forum griping, crying and yelling about my A in rehab...whether or not to visit him on family day- his letters etc. Yesterday, I did it- I made the drive to the facility and did the hour visit. Before I left I told myself that I cannot have any expections g...

imom · imom

Now that my AH is in a treatment center far far away, I am finding myself to feel very sad. I think I have been so caught up in the madness of the alcohol and drugs so much that I have been unable to mourn the loss of my marriage and friendship with him until now. So here I am alone in an empty house because my ki...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Up until age eight, I had no character defects. They were all assets, as far as the eye could see. Once age eight came along, I was apparently a grown-up and responsible for my behaviour and the behaviour of others. I started to believe that if I was told I was bad, I was bad. I remember fighting these c...

smurfymermaid · smurfymermaid

Like to introduce myself and tell you the current scenario. My elderly mom and I are caring for my dementia dad (post chemo). He wasn't an alcoholic, but he is and has always been emotionally unavailable to everyone accept my mom (in his own limited way). All my love interests have been addicts that wer...

Tigger · Tigger

hey friends,my eye is feeling sore (a virus) so i dont want to chair tonight. i just need to go to bed.ive messaged a few people so i hope someone will cover for me.sorry,tigger x

Tracey C · Tracey C

I've learned to accept that my loved one's sobriey is literally "One Day at a Time." I've learned to let go when she's sober, and detach when she's not. Today is one of those in between days that I need to manage differently. She's struggling in her sobriety and I want to reach out to help. ...

John · John

I just found this video while on YouTube and it just kinda hit me, so I thought I would share it. I feel its a good one. I like the last sentence..."I've made up your mind". LOL Lyrics- Call Me When You're Sober" Don't cry to me.If you loved me,You would be her...

cinders · cinders

I had such a crazy day at work. Doing evaluations on 11 employees can be exhausting and overwhelming. I want to give these the attention they deserve because they are so important to the folks I work with, but honestly, I hate doing them. There are only so many ways you can change how you say something...

4kidsmama · 4kidsmama

Why does my now sober AH hurtful words STILL break my heart?! Why does his comments of my cooking, cleaning, etc still hurt? Why can't I seem to develop a thicker skin? I'm calming down sooner than I did in the past. I don't get defensive and start shooting nasty comments back all the time (emphasis o...

hope4ever · hope4ever

I am afraid of imtimacy. It is like I want people to be close and then I push them away. It even affects my sex life with my husband at times (not always) - I am afraid to be so intimate that we are "one" you know? I think it is because of how I was raised. I was also sexually abused as a child and al...

John · John

Pushka · Pushka

The kids and I had an amazing day. Soooo much fun, it is nice to just let go of all this garbage and start living again. I know I get into binge thinking and that just really trips me up. My daughter went and took her tennis lessons had a BLAST!!! She is getting signed up and thanks be to some very special...

Jerry F · Jerry F

you will find help. Each and everytime I hear that repeated at the closing of our face to face meetings I become grateful again because that promise was the first miracle of recovery that I received. Aloha all and thank you for being in my life. This is now the near end of February 8th which I acknowl...

tortuga · tortuga

Good morning MiP when I look back at my past relationships, i often found JEALOUSY a common negative thought and emotion that has been sitting in me...and it has sabotaged many situations. and blinded me and misleaded me. I want to work on that for the future. I know it is related to fear and anger... I kn...

cinders · cinders

So I learned the hard way this week that all the stress, anxiety and years of emotional pain from living with an A can have medical consequences to your own body. Went to see the dr and my blood pressure is so sky high that it i causing some damage to my body. My dr who has walked through the emotional part...

rehprof · rehprof

On Monday, my Dad took my 16 yo to an appointment (bc the exA couldn't do it...AGAIN). My Dad is 79. He has replaced my well pump, fixed electrical problems, and on monday he brought me newspaper, kindling, and 1/2 cord of wood...because I was out of firewood. So despite the terrible weather, and fear of...

Pushka · Pushka

Lots of good news happening, I think the money is going to be released sooner than later. I also think that my STBAX has done something INCREDIBLY stupid and filed without me. If he has he's in a whole world of doo doo in ways that will boggle his mind. The other issue is the child support and maintenanc...

pixie · pixie

Has anyone had to deal with dementia/alzheimers with their alcoholic.My husband has been acting like he's in the early stages.I have the utmost compassion for anyone with these problems but if his is caused by the drinking I have no compassion for him and am finding it hard to deal with it.He's just an...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52580578/step-9-alanon/

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

He woke up this morning and promised up and down that it would never happen again, but the difference this time is he said, "I'm not checking into a hospital, but I do need help". WOW! He has never said those words before, so I am encouraged. He has been to a few meetings in the recent months, but...

AllieinAlanon · AllieinAlanon

Hello, it's me again, Allie. I am trying to be forgiving toward my friend, who lives with me. He went out today and forgot to call me. I don't like checking on him, believe me. But he forgot to call at his usual time and he's been ill. I left him a text and he called back immediately, angry at me for bothering h...

Aloha · Aloha

I've been feeling real down lately... I have many things that have been troubling me lately and I've been living them and making them my story. I've caught myself during the last couple weeks of this grieving process that I'm going through smiling and telling people I'm doing well. Then when I went to a...

Heather 68 · Heather 68

For the second time in 2 years he is back in jail for alcohol related stupidity. We were unable to live together months ago due to the alcohol related drama, verbal abuse, threats, damaged property and physical abuse. When sober he was a different person, like Jeckel and Hyde. We tried to make it work d...

Annie1234 · Annie1234

Most days I'm able to get myself out of the dumps, by praying, or doing something nice for myself. I don't even feel that I can do that today. I am so overwhelmed by so much today. My AH has been a bear all week...playing his typical passive aggressive role of victim. My son, whose friend past away in Se...

milkwood · milkwood

I read my horoscope this morning and somehow it seems appropriate to share it with you all: "For some reason we seem to imagine that miracles need to be dramatic. They must involve things we weren't expecting, things we can't explain, things that somehow make no sense. But is a flower not a miracl...

SaRw · SaRw

Stop the roller coaster. I want to get off! Up until September of this year, my AH was extremely functional. Up until then, I wouldn't have thought he was an A. Now I know better. Just before Thanksgiving, he admitted to me that he couldn't stop drinking. He asked me to help him find help. We found a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	4 Years (Preview) 4 years of begging, yelling, crying and paying I did not make one thing better for either me or my son. Since October 30, 2012 when I came to accept the first step in Al-anon did my life begin to change. Yes I still worry, cry, fear and obsess sometimes ( never to my son) but I'm getting the help I need to over...	Cathyinaz	5	300	Feb 14, 2013 by AStrongerMe
	Keeping things in perspective/playing the victim. (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. Today, I found myself playing the victim and feeling sorry for myself, something that I acquired growing up in an alcoholic home. My alcoholic father got laid off from his jobs several times when I was a kid. He was never able to sti...	slogan_jim	3	263	Feb 14, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Anxiety of Indecision (Preview) It was another long night, another barrage of crazy to somehow nutralize for my own sanity, so I can maintain my position. That being, the ability to be available when I am not working for a living to the particular people in my family who need a regular supportive presence. I have frail elderly parents...	marycontrary	5	324	Feb 14, 2013 by marycontrary
	Daughter working on me hard this a.m. (Preview) Got a text from my daughter last night saying she wanted to "talk to us about how she feels." I didn't want to go to bed on a negative and lose sleep. Learned all of my lessons there. I don't respond at night and I don't look at my phone early in the morning. I give Myself time away from it and give...	Afraidparent	10	320	Feb 14, 2013 by Afraidparent
	Alcoholic daughter (Preview) My daughter is 33 and severely alcoholic. She lives with her husband on the east coast and the first intervention by her family (me, her father, brother and sister in law) was January of 2011. She has been to detox countless times and has spent at total of 75 days in treatment at Hazelden in Oregon. He...	jdlewis	6	488	Feb 14, 2013 by jdlewis
	My AA meeting nearly brought tears to my eyes last night (Preview) Im guessing Im emotionally detached, but we read something last night that made me really reflect- I became an alcoholic partially because of my damaged upbringing and the biggest part of it all was living with an alcoholic father, being abused by his wives (which Ive never really settled with becau...	AlAnonDave	9	410	Feb 14, 2013 by AlAnonDave
	Tired of the BS (Preview) I am new here - found this website by mistake and I just need to vent. My husband of 25 years is an alcoholic. He has been drinking on and off for years but I never thought he had a problem until three years ago when I found out he was drinking at work, hiding beer from me in the garbage pail outside our house and...	DebLisa55	8	393	Feb 14, 2013 by Mattie
	Lending my son and family money (Preview) My son who is my qualifier is seeing a counselor and doing a little better. Anyway his wife and him have 3 kids and his wife today ask me to borrow money so the bank won't take away their vehicle. Do I lend it or am I stopping a crisis? Causing soft landings. She is not an alcoholic, and he is making an attempt t...	oldergal	6	380	Feb 13, 2013 by Debilyn
	question (Preview) I have a question for you. Last night at Alanon this came up. Two different people said their loved ones learned that the year you started drinking you totally stopped in mental years from then on. So if you started drinking at 13 you woudl remain 13 forever...even if you stopped drinking for a long tim...	afglin	6	246	Feb 13, 2013 by Debilyn
	Getting it right?! (Preview) Hello, I am new to this site. I have been doing al-anon now for about a year. I sometimes feel stuck in one place. I listen to the tapes, I visit the forums, I read the books and readings. It all makes perfect sense, but I just can't seem to do it!! I know what I should do, but when I come home to my AH and he h...	rmbergeron1	3	229	Feb 13, 2013 by el-cee
	Loving an A - need your examples (Preview) Hello friends. I need some gudance today. I read today's Courage to Change entry about loving myself, loving my A, and loving others. The first and last, I understand, but the middle one is hard for me lately. How do I act lovingly to him, when I can smell the booze on his breath, and it makes my blood boi...	ParisMemories	7	311	Feb 13, 2013 by ParisMemories
	It has been well over a year........... (Preview) I haven't been on here in quite some time and I am glad I chose tonight to read some stories. I am going through some very hard issues right now. I am scared I feel lonely. I have even thought deep dark thoughts that creep up unexpectidly. I miss my friend Rodney now more than ever. He was the one I turned to an...	MDK	6	255	Feb 13, 2013 by Jerry F
	Taking care of myself. (Preview) In my deeply mixed up view of life I had some idea that in the right place I could find someone who would take care of me. I had this view because I did not get taken care of as a child. I lived on survival. I did not get my needs met. Basically I had a roof over my head and not much else. Indeed the roof was barely a...	orchidlover	4	240	Feb 13, 2013 by el-cee
	reminscing--is that healthy? (Preview) I have been reminscing a lot lately. I am basically trying to let go but I find myself remembering past relationships, etc. Mostly I am remembering the sick ones. Doesn't it figure? I wish I could stop. All the alcoholics in my past whether they were in recovery or not. Some of them were really out there...	Hoot Nanny	2	238	Feb 13, 2013 by Jerry F
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) I'm new to Al-Anon. My boyfriend who has been a drinker for 20+ years, 3 weeks ago, went to detox. We have been together for about a year and a half and he has been a heavy drinker the entire time. He has never been abusive and he doesn't hang out in bars nor did he drink hard liquor. He only drank beer,...	Janet007	9	273	Feb 13, 2013 by Janet007
	Verbal Abuse and Threats, can't take any more (Preview) Hi All, Each week it seems that I deal with some other crazy thing my AH has done. I had to work on a Saturday this weekend because someone at my work called in sick. While I was at work, AH had both kids. Lately, he only has our DD (3 yrs old) while he is unemployed, and she is easier. Our DS, who is 6...	Minaret	6	470	Feb 12, 2013 by el-cee
	my own experience..for once! (Preview) Hello, Im new here. I have been reading the messages boards by just going to the search engine looking at topics of what i was feeling through another individual feelings. I have done this for 6 months now. Today I finally decided i should write about my own experince, my own hurt, my own everything. Lo...	evejc02	3	365	Feb 12, 2013 by evejc02
	little update (Preview) He just called. This is a bit of my face book. I told myself I would say nothing about me. He asks how I am. I say just a sec I gotta turn off tv. got out of the question. yea sounded good then those feelings....I felt like I was doing everything wrong. Doing my best NOT to ask questions, listening, supportin...	Debilyn	4	437	Feb 12, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	ugh this is so painful (Preview) I made a mistake and thought my net was off!! geez. It will be from the 14th to the 27th. I got a nice couch, so did not pay my bill for a bit. Anyway my/our relationship is very strong still and growing. Learning so much. It has come now that he has done all the business, told his ex and kids he is outa there for g...	Debilyn	3	419	Feb 12, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	bait & switch (Preview) I've tried to be spiritual and grounded and to reach out to others and to keep everything in perspective. But, you know, sometimes I just get ticked off... sometimes I'm done being all compassionate and spiritual and I'm just really angry. Does anyone else relate to this? The "bait and switch&q...	midas	4	289	Feb 12, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	The Kids (Preview) Recently, over the last few months I have been learning and growing through my meetings, reading and this forum. I am a work in progress and I have a long way to go but there is one thing that I have learned and I would like to share it. I hope I don't offend anyone and my purpose is to 'help' if I can. During the...	el-cee	8	445	Feb 12, 2013 by Minaret
	Sunday Night Blues (Preview) I am having a bit of a pity party but I am really feeling like I keep trying to do the right things but I keep getting my feelings hurt. Here goes my week. I am working for an atorney who thinks she never makes a mistake. She is good in Court but around the office she is a slob who is disorganized, always missi...	WornOutMrsFixIt	6	258	Feb 12, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	you can't help. (Preview) Well, this weekend was trying. Good old social media for ya. My recovering ASIL who I have said before, is recovering, but is as self centered as they come, hit a new low. She currently lives at my inlaw's house with her husband and children because they have no where else to go. Her husband is out of t...	1976love	5	409	Feb 12, 2013 by 1976love
	trudging on... (Preview) I am finding these days that I am moving forward slowly. I have been noticing that I am growing but feel that I am sometimes moving backwards. I am so confused sometimes where I am. Hopefully w/ more rest & exercise, I can feel & act normal for me. I want to vent so much these days but am afraid for pe...	Hoot Nanny	5	217	Feb 12, 2013 by el-cee
	should I go get the dog and the truck (Preview) Hello friends - I'm a grateful Al-Anoner working it every day. I have a question I'm hoping someone smarter than me can help with. My AH is checking in tomorrow at 9 a.m. for this third stint in rehab. We have not been living together since he completed his second stint the day after Thanksgiving 2012. Du...	blondie99	6	302	Feb 12, 2013 by RobinKSC
	We need chairs for morning meetings, Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday (Preview) The meetings have been great, I have three more weeks of crutches and then I will be at rehab during the morning meetings. I will be happy to co chair meetings with anyone if you would like to learn to chair. This Thursday I won't be able to chair, I have carpet people coming to replace my 14 year old carpet....	RobinKSC	0	137	Feb 11, 2013 by RobinKSC
	Wrong thoughts this morning (Preview) Good Monday Morning Everyone I talked to my son yesterday and it was nice. He is sober but I think it's because he doesn't have a dime to his name. After the talk my mind started up again thinking maybe I should ask him to clean my property ( weeds, tree trimming) and maybe paint my bedroon....in turn I w...	Cathyinaz	6	313	Feb 11, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Reflecting on the Loss of my AH (Preview) It has been exactly one month today since my AH passed away unexpectedly from renal and liver failure, and it also would have been his 52nd birthday. I continue to be all over the board with my emotions: sometimes I'm sad and unconsolable, sometimes I'm angry, and sometimes there is a sense of relief (w...	Green Eyes	15	579	Feb 11, 2013 by Debilyn
	Old wounds have been opened (Preview) My Mom died when I was 11 months old - death certificates indicates cause of death was tubercular meningitis. My father moved back home with his mom and she basically raised us while enabling my Dad's alcoholism & abuse of my sis & I. My Mom's family harbored a deep hatred for my Dad because of t...	Path to Serenity	4	359	Feb 11, 2013 by Debilyn
	Things getting big... (Preview) Oh I shouldn't call this place a hick-town. It was an old gold-mining town, and a sheep town. I reckon a lot of people came here to run and hide. Before the main street was flooded there were three pubs in it. They were called 'the bottom', 'the middle' and 'the top'. There were two pubs in the outlying set...	DavidG	2	212	Feb 11, 2013 by Debilyn
	You ever feel this way? (Preview)	John	1	224	Feb 11, 2013 by Pushka
	What is wrong with me? (Preview) Why is it bothering me that my AH doesn't want to communicate with me from rehab? he emailed our daughter but not me. The only time he contacted me is when he was at the airport and wanted money. So why do I care? He made the choice to continue to abuse drugs and alcohol. He endangered our entire neighb...	imom	5	272	Feb 11, 2013 by pinkchip
	Things I am tired of (Preview) Things I am tired of.Tired of walking on eggshells, never knowing if what I say, or don't say, or do or don't do are going to make him drink. I must remember that I did not cause it, I cannot control and I cannot cure it.Tired of checking the bank account every day to see how much money he has withdrawn, worr...	ParisMemories	4	278	Feb 11, 2013 by milkwood
	A moment in pain (Preview) Hi everyone. This is my first time here and honestly my first time ever reaching out to anyone. My hope is to find people to relate to as right now I'm pretty angry at myself. I'll soon tell you why. I've been to 1 al anon meeting in the past when I was a teenager but haven't been since. My name is Tracie an...	hurting at 36	3	328	Feb 11, 2013 by Katy
	Family Visit to Rehab (Preview) For whatever this is worth... i have been on this forum griping, crying and yelling about my A in rehab...whether or not to visit him on family day- his letters etc. Yesterday, I did it- I made the drive to the facility and did the hour visit. Before I left I told myself that I cannot have any expections g...	newwoman	3	364	Feb 11, 2013 by hopeful4ever
	Facing reality (Preview) Now that my AH is in a treatment center far far away, I am finding myself to feel very sad. I think I have been so caught up in the madness of the alcohol and drugs so much that I have been unable to mourn the loss of my marriage and friendship with him until now. So here I am alone in an empty house because my ki...	imom	11	619	Feb 11, 2013 by newwoman
	I have hope and dreams - again (Preview) Up until age eight, I had no character defects. They were all assets, as far as the eye could see. Once age eight came along, I was apparently a grown-up and responsible for my behaviour and the behaviour of others. I started to believe that if I was told I was bad, I was bad. I remember fighting these c...	Tracey C	1	230	Feb 10, 2013 by hotrod
	New here + Caring for dying qualifier father (Preview) Like to introduce myself and tell you the current scenario. My elderly mom and I are caring for my dementia dad (post chemo). He wasn't an alcoholic, but he is and has always been emotionally unavailable to everyone accept my mom (in his own limited way). All my love interests have been addicts that wer...	smurfymermaid	10	463	Feb 11, 2013 by hotrod
	i cant do the chair tonight (Preview) hey friends,my eye is feeling sore (a virus) so i dont want to chair tonight. i just need to go to bed.ive messaged a few people so i hope someone will cover for me.sorry,tigger x	Tigger	1	177	Feb 11, 2013 by hotrod
	My lesson in detachment - a man's view (Preview) I've learned to accept that my loved one's sobriey is literally "One Day at a Time." I've learned to let go when she's sober, and detach when she's not. Today is one of those in between days that I need to manage differently. She's struggling in her sobriety and I want to reach out to help. ...	Tracey C	11	564	Feb 11, 2013 by Tracey C
	Call me when you are sober... (Video) (Preview) I just found this video while on YouTube and it just kinda hit me, so I thought I would share it. I feel its a good one. I like the last sentence..."I've made up your mind". LOL Lyrics- Call Me When You're Sober" Don't cry to me.If you loved me,You would be her...	John	2	269	Feb 11, 2013 by Heather 68
	Blessings (Preview) I had such a crazy day at work. Doing evaluations on 11 employees can be exhausting and overwhelming. I want to give these the attention they deserve because they are so important to the folks I work with, but honestly, I hate doing them. There are only so many ways you can change how you say something...	cinders	4	244	Feb 11, 2013 by el-cee
	Hurtful words (Preview) Why does my now sober AH hurtful words STILL break my heart?! Why does his comments of my cooking, cleaning, etc still hurt? Why can't I seem to develop a thicker skin? I'm calming down sooner than I did in the past. I don't get defensive and start shooting nasty comments back all the time (emphasis o...	4kidsmama	9	830	Feb 10, 2013 by Ms S
	if someone gets too close I push them away (Preview) I am afraid of imtimacy. It is like I want people to be close and then I push them away. It even affects my sex life with my husband at times (not always) - I am afraid to be so intimate that we are "one" you know? I think it is because of how I was raised. I was also sexually abused as a child and al...	hope4ever	2	504	Feb 10, 2013 by Jerry F
	Setting Me Free (Video) (Preview)	John	4	287	Feb 10, 2013 by likemyheart
	Terrific Day ... (Preview) The kids and I had an amazing day. Soooo much fun, it is nice to just let go of all this garbage and start living again. I know I get into binge thinking and that just really trips me up. My daughter went and took her tennis lessons had a BLAST!!! She is getting signed up and thanks be to some very special...	Pushka	3	182	Feb 10, 2013 by ilovedogs
	If you keep and open mind... (Preview) you will find help. Each and everytime I hear that repeated at the closing of our face to face meetings I become grateful again because that promise was the first miracle of recovery that I received. Aloha all and thank you for being in my life. This is now the near end of February 8th which I acknowl...	Jerry F	12	597	Feb 10, 2013 by tortuga
	dealing with JEALOUSY? (Preview) Good morning MiP when I look back at my past relationships, i often found JEALOUSY a common negative thought and emotion that has been sitting in me...and it has sabotaged many situations. and blinded me and misleaded me. I want to work on that for the future. I know it is related to fear and anger... I kn...	tortuga	8	765	Feb 10, 2013 by tortuga
	What the stress can do to us (Preview) So I learned the hard way this week that all the stress, anxiety and years of emotional pain from living with an A can have medical consequences to your own body. Went to see the dr and my blood pressure is so sky high that it i causing some damage to my body. My dr who has walked through the emotional part...	cinders	7	490	Feb 10, 2013 by peace2me
	Blizzard Gratitude (Preview) On Monday, my Dad took my 16 yo to an appointment (bc the exA couldn't do it...AGAIN). My Dad is 79. He has replaced my well pump, fixed electrical problems, and on monday he brought me newspaper, kindling, and 1/2 cord of wood...because I was out of firewood. So despite the terrible weather, and fear of...	rehprof	6	217	Feb 10, 2013 by peace2me
	Good NEWS :) (Preview) Lots of good news happening, I think the money is going to be released sooner than later. I also think that my STBAX has done something INCREDIBLY stupid and filed without me. If he has he's in a whole world of doo doo in ways that will boggle his mind. The other issue is the child support and maintenanc...	Pushka	8	284	Feb 10, 2013 by John
	dementia/alzheimers (Preview) Has anyone had to deal with dementia/alzheimers with their alcoholic.My husband has been acting like he's in the early stages.I have the utmost compassion for anyone with these problems but if his is caused by the drinking I have no compassion for him and am finding it hard to deal with it.He's just an...	pixie	7	323	Feb 10, 2013 by Jerry F
	STEP 9 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52580578/step-9-alanon/	hotrod	0	187	Feb 9, 2013 by hotrod
	AH has finally admitted he needs help (Preview) He woke up this morning and promised up and down that it would never happen again, but the difference this time is he said, "I'm not checking into a hospital, but I do need help". WOW! He has never said those words before, so I am encouraged. He has been to a few meetings in the recent months, but...	ParisMemories	6	404	Feb 9, 2013 by yanksfan51
	Hard time detaching (Preview) Hello, it's me again, Allie. I am trying to be forgiving toward my friend, who lives with me. He went out today and forgot to call me. I don't like checking on him, believe me. But he forgot to call at his usual time and he's been ill. I left him a text and he called back immediately, angry at me for bothering h...	AllieinAlanon	3	400	Feb 9, 2013 by AllieinAlanon
	Practice honesty (Preview) I've been feeling real down lately... I have many things that have been troubling me lately and I've been living them and making them my story. I've caught myself during the last couple weeks of this grieving process that I'm going through smiling and telling people I'm doing well. Then when I went to a...	Aloha	3	260	Feb 9, 2013 by Aloha
	Encouragement needed! (Preview) For the second time in 2 years he is back in jail for alcohol related stupidity. We were unable to live together months ago due to the alcohol related drama, verbal abuse, threats, damaged property and physical abuse. When sober he was a different person, like Jeckel and Hyde. We tried to make it work d...	Heather 68	4	278	Feb 9, 2013 by Heather 68
	I need prayer today. (Preview) Most days I'm able to get myself out of the dumps, by praying, or doing something nice for myself. I don't even feel that I can do that today. I am so overwhelmed by so much today. My AH has been a bear all week...playing his typical passive aggressive role of victim. My son, whose friend past away in Se...	Annie1234	5	386	Feb 9, 2013 by yanksfan51
	Are you made of miracles as well... (Preview) I read my horoscope this morning and somehow it seems appropriate to share it with you all: "For some reason we seem to imagine that miracles need to be dramatic. They must involve things we weren't expecting, things we can't explain, things that somehow make no sense. But is a flower not a miracl...	milkwood	5	530	Feb 8, 2013 by maryjane
	Here we go again. What a crazy ride! (Preview) Stop the roller coaster. I want to get off! Up until September of this year, my AH was extremely functional. Up until then, I wouldn't have thought he was an A. Now I know better. Just before Thanksgiving, he admitted to me that he couldn't stop drinking. He asked me to help him find help. We found a...	SaRw	6	345	Feb 8, 2013 by Tracy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.