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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> little update
Post Info TOPIC: little update
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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little update
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 He just called. This is a bit of my face book. I told myself I would say nothing about me. He asks how I am. I say just a sec I gotta turn off tv. got out of the question. yea sounded good then those feelings....I felt like I was doing everything wrong. Doing my best NOT to ask questions, listening, supporting, reassuring I know how strong he is and I know he will make good decisions, that is his nature. I trust him 100%. when he called and I was quiet and listening, tellling in him those things, I do admire him.I  sorta started crying saying I feel like I am doing everything  wrong, trying not to ask questions or be needy....blah blah I blew it, he breaks in he says debi, debi I want you to listen to me, he assured me I am doing super, that we are ok. I am not doing anything wrong,that I am doing perfect, just what he needs. He needs me to keep it together until he gets his sh** together. I am doing my best. I can do that.
 One thing he can do to me is make me stop and listen to him. I KNOW I can trust what he says to me.
I would rather it was me going thru it than him. but then he would say the same thing. we are growing into such strong mates. did not see this coming.

Its nice doing things to this poor home of mine. Been too cold to do outside cept pick up over ten bucks of cans and dig out some junk. dug a bit of water directing.wishI would find myself fencing in the area for the dogs that is not muddy.I lost sunday somehow.

I had no idea how hard this was going to be, but I am commited and would not choose anything else. Nothing else matters, or more there is no direction I would rather take.
Will be thankful when we are back to laughing, teasing, and being happy. But this is the work of a relationship, and we are in it for as long as we are blessed for.
"we" are so worth it.
need lots of naps and good books!

 


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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
DavidG


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smile For me there are four main relation-ships... kinship, courtship, friendship and warship/worship. No, 2 is not an option for me and hasn't been for some time. I went kicking and screaming through middle age knowing this... it was not a grieving thing- but in the end a gratitude thing- that after all, in my life, I had had the opportunity to live and to love.

The old AA big book says 'half measures availed us nothing'.

I do hope, ma'am, that in your life and your hopes and dreams, that the time of accepting half-measures is all but over. aww

-D.



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Each Alanon member is my teacher.                                                                                                                  
milkwood


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Hi Debi, well done, it must be nice for you to hear those affirmations and I hope you are giving yourself good positive strokes as well.
I used to say of my AH 'I want to be there when he soars, I am sure that he can do it.' I have adapted this a bit and it feels more comfortable saying 'I'd like to be there when I soar, I am sure that I can do it.' A PS to that is 'it would be nice if AH was there when it happens as well! I like this change in my thinking because I think that I might be less inclined to loose myself tis way round.
Go well and enjoy those naps - it is tiring and rest is good!
PS I heard a lovely way to start the day yesterday... Hopeful good morning!

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Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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My guy is not an A by any means, nor am I. We have been close friends from Al Anon for many, many years. Have supported each other thru life as friends do.

Our relationship grew into more than friendship. Had nothing to do with his leaving the AW. He has always planned to. But in is state the mother gets the kids even if she is a drugged out addict. No way was he leaving those kids. So he came to me about many things about the kids. He was there for me thru my horrendous A's abuse and abandonement.

Now he is finally able to leave. there are no half measures at all. thank goodness. there is no addiction. thanks for the reminders though.

We have a whole relationship based on trust, honesty and our spiritual beliefs. In many ways its like an arranged marriage. We share our true selves with each other for years before we are physically involved. My friend who is from India just married his arranged marriage. They are so happy. You really fall in love from the heart, not getting mixed up in the physical part. Plus to be so close in your hearts, then to finally meet physically with your best friend,budi and love, wow. lol

I need these comments, it helps me to think and stay on my goal. I am usually pretty calm and thoughtful with our relationship. but all this pain he is in, is hard on me too. I am not strong physically to take on stress, part of my darn disability. ugh. its four am. cannot sleep. ugh again.

hugs



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Cathyinaz


~*Service Worker*~

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I know how hard it is waiting for your life with someone you love to start. I went though it about 12 years ago. I thought I was going to die at the time. ((( my hugs to you )))

You talk about fixing your well pump and other things around the house. I'm lovin it. Not sure if I could fix a pump and I'm sure I could replace it..... I had to learn and I'm the best plumber in town LOL. I love working on computers so I'm always fixing or building computers for friends and co-workers. I need to paint the outside of the house but I'm going to hire someone because it's way too tall and I'm not going to be going up and down ladders. I have a southwest style home with 12 foot ceilings so it's tall.

Take care of you my friend and your hopes and dreams will come true. God has a plan....he always does.

Give your pets you love so much, big hugs today for me. I love my pets...they give me a smile and makes me happy.

Cathy

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Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
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