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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> just need to vent
Post Info TOPIC: just need to vent
pixie


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just need to vent
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I'm new to Al-non but have thought about joining for years.My husband of almost 29 years is an alcoholic in denial.He's a great provider with a good job but that's where it ends.He doesn't drink anything but beer but he's up to over a gallon most days,more if he's off work that day.It's terrible when he has a vacation.I get so sick of it I can't talk to him and when I do it's with a snotty attitude and he wonders why.Our son who is 27 lives with us and I'm so grateful he does.I know most parents would want their kids out of the house at that age but he keeps me sane.He also is there to catch his dad when he's stumbling around in a drunken stuper.I would love to have someone to talk to who understands what I'm going through.I hate the thoughts I have about him.I wish I was in a position where I could divorce him and move out but I hate to give up my home.Everything about it is a dream except for the nightmare that lives here too.My email addy is disenchatdangel@aol.com



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yanksfan51


~*Service Worker*~

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Glad you came here pixie; lots of support and people who have shared your experiences.  I am fairly new to alanon but definitely recommend you finding a meeting to go to (there are online meetings here as well), and to focus on taking care of yourself.

I understand how you feel about having your son in the house, but the less you and he do to 'help' your AH the better I think.  If someone is always there to prop him up when he is stumbling, he may never notice that he's been stumbling, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, please come back to these boards, we all support each other, and check out a face to face meeting, the meetings in the chat room occur twice a day as well.

Wishing you peace,

yanksfan



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Annie1234


Senior Member

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Posts: 121
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Yanksfan is right.  Please keep coming back, and definitely check out face to face meetings in your area.  You would be so surprised to see just how many people live the same life you do.  There is so much experience and wisdom here and at the live meetings and the chat sessions here on-line.  I hope you stick around and get to know some people who can help you get through it all.  As Yanksfan said, sometimes they need to stumble and fall in order to recognize the mess they are making.  Hugs to you.



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pixie


Veteran Member

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Posts: 45
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Thank you Annie and yanks fan for replying.I checked into face to face alanon meetings in the area.We have one near where I live but everyone in this town knows everyone and the time is bad.My husband is home at the time of the meetings and I don't want to lie to him about where I'm going and if I did tell him he'd be big time mad.Like I said,he's in denial.About stumbling and letting him fall.He has..he fell into the wall one night and hurt his ankle but didn't realize it until morning.When he couldn't figure out how he did it and I told him he didn't believe me and I really didn't care.He got stumbling around in our pole barn one day when my son was out there.He managed to make it to a chair without falling onto the cement.My son said he could have caught him but he just stood there and when his dad landed in the chair my son said,"you got lucky" and continued doing what he was doing.I thought it was funny and would have loved to have been out there to see it.I love catching him trying to sneak more beer into the house when he doesn't want me to see it.He tries to hid it and that's pretty funny too.I'm getting so smart mouthed with him.He has the excuse of taking the dog for a ride (the dog loves his car rides) but it's nothing but a beer run.So any more I'll say to the dog,"are you ready for your beer run"!! I have reported him to the local cops in hopes of them catching him driving with an open beer but they said they have to have a reason to pull him over like a burned out light,etc but I'm waiting...
Thanks again and for being here.

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abbyalana


Senior Member

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Posts: 115
Date:
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That's what we do as enablers...keep the secret secret. You need to choose to work on things you can - that's something you can get help with at alanon.

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> just need to vent