Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Mirandac · Mirandac

My dry ah is living at his mothers while we separate. Saw him for 5 minutes tops to discuss money and he needs to sign agreement for our lawyer to represent me in the divorce. I told him he needed to find some time to talk this out. Instead of his usual 5 minute a day i get his attention. He is usually out saving...

Jeffs Mom · Jeffs Mom

43 year old son recently went back to his own home after 21 days of inpatient rehab. We financed the program but we also now have control over his income/bank account to handle all his finances until he has paid us back. He is divorced, without children and lives 150 miles away. It is difficult to suppo...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hi all! Went to see my A on Saturday at the 1/2 way house. Visited with him about 2.5 hours. It was good. Talked with him yesterday and I was kind of weepy, feeling irritated, and just not really hopeful. Partially I think that is because there was a big picnic and he told me on Friday that I wouldn't like it s...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58116328/alanon-step-11/

NL14 · NL14

I've been re-reading a year's worth of journal entries. With a few exceptions, they're all like groundhog day. The number of times I said (about my AH) "I've finally snapped!", "I'm done," "I'm at the end of my rope," etc., would be funny if it weren't so sad. Every ti...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Thought I had coworkers under my al anon spell regarding boundaries when asking me about my AH. I guess not! Another coworker today asked me if we were divorcing after I already told her it was too hard for me to talk about him at work. He used to work at the same place so it's difficult! After she asked me ab...

el-cee · el-cee

Im getting on a plane today for the first time in years and im flying to italy. Im going to rome. Last night I had a bit of a panic attack about it, I got scared about flying, the coming out of my comfort zone, leaving my sons behind, wee bit of guilt, im going with my daughter for some mother, daughter time, a b...

Katy · Katy

Well I am having good days and bad, and I can't help but think how painful it is leaving someone that hurts me so much and makes me feel anxious and fearful all of the time even though this feels like the right thing to do and even though I have taken way to long to have the courage to do it yes it still leaves me f...

milkwood · milkwood

AH has been sleeping in the spare room for nearly two months. Day to day all is well and calm but I do find myself climbing the walls with the lack of emotional connection in my life. Its not new. It is really a long standing problem between us, and one that I ignored for a long time. Today I have tried to a...

Luiza · Luiza

The atmosphere is unbearable, I am starting to shake. He is sober, he had something to drink but is sober and he is angry. He has been so passive aggressive, I hate it. I almost got sucked in the negativity twice but daughter is awake. I must control myself. All because I refused sex last night and sugge...

blessed · blessed

If I follow these guidelines, it is time to leave. Hmmmm. Not so much the reasons to stay; but I could check off just about every one under, when to leave. Every day it is more clear that I am not as attractive as a bottle of vodka; and I won't compete with that, or anything or anybody. better, healthier go a...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I have had a few bad days. I haven't posted because not sure if I can handle any more glaring facts of reality. I let my daughter help me look up phone records yesterday and found phone number on husbands account that he calls daily sometimes more. Daughter called number and a woman answered. I did not h...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I did a gratitude list, a to do for the house and property if we need to sell in the divorce, a fun things to do list, also who i saw or talked to that day. I am contacting people that have been very supportive of me and my Journey with my dry ah the last 11 years. Telling them what is going on and receiving grea...

andromeda · andromeda

I am looking for someone from MIP to check in with me daily to make sure I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing with my program: am I reading, am I journaling, am I writing in my gratitude journal, am I getting to meetings and, if so, when? Am I watching my spending and sticking to a budget or being controlle...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I'm not sure if I've put boundaries in place or created walls where I work. It doesn't matter because I feel I was true to myself. I'm in transition to a new job in the workplace and finishing up bits and pieces of my old job. My former supervisor took me to lunch and thanked me for my work last week. They ar...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I have worked most of this stuff out I think .. LOL .. however I did want to share some of my own growth this past week. First off, I'm dealing with the dang truck AGAIN! My STBAX actually paid 2 of the 3 tickets .. considering that they were on MY personal credit report and his motto is just don't pay this...

LiveLaughLove · LiveLaughLove

I feel like, not only have a lost at love (again!), since my A-ex created so much chaos in our relationship that what we had was destroyed...I also feel like all of my friendships were destroyed. The one's that were created through our relationship were lost when we split, since most were a part of his l...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

AxBF thinks he has a good hand to play obviously. He really upped the ante this weekend. He posted some very awful pictures and said some very awful things, that he rationalizes as work related but were clearly to hurt me deep down. 1 of them dug up a trust issue we had with someone in 2010 .. He pulled th...

watts · watts

Hi all, Just an update from me..it helps to put it down in writing too...So I'm here at my friends apartment wandering like a lost soul. Her, her daughter and her grandchildren are a great distraction from my own mind as they consistently force me to keep going through the motions of the day, as does my s...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm trying to apply alanon stools to sit. I get in like qtip quit taking it personal,my main problem is I take e erything way too personal,a bf has been trying to make things right between us but I have a bad habit of bringing up his affair he had I can't seem to put it behind me,I turn several things he says...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

hello hello. Been awhile, I just wanted to post and share how I was doing since I broke up with my ABF in April. A few months went by and he called me 3 weeks ago to just see how I was doing. We ended up spending a two week period together, him helping me move into my new apt (where I am now very happy) and we went ca...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

Someone from church found out from my kids that AH has moved out. Proceeded to ask my family why and guessed it was drinking because they saw him drunk twice at my place. My family member actually answered "yes"! The friend proceeded to say "you mean she cannot accept someone who drink...

blessed · blessed

Found this in my trash since I block all his emails; so I guess they go to trash. I sent a copy to his "sponsor". That is a joke as he lies to him and is working NO program. Just smoke & mirrors. I don't give my A access to online acts. as he is an A. He can walk in the bank with a check and take everyt...

Gaby · Gaby

My son has been sentenced it's been over 2 weeks. I have written several letters but have not mailed any.. His is now off restriction but yet the thought of visiting him gives me anxiety.. I get depressed. He knows I love him. But his actions and poor choices has effected me and his little sister in so many...

Greenleaf · Greenleaf

I have been dealing with my AH now for three years. He has had some counselling but now refuses to go as he feels he can quit on his own. He has done that, then starts up again. Of course he denies actually being an alcoholic - he says he has a "drinking problem" because of the way people treat h...

pwcpw · pwcpw

I am new here and am so glad I found this group. It seems that what I am feeling is so similar to others here - so conflicted. I have been married for a very long time to a husband who started out not to drink much at all. Like the frog in the kettle, I'm just not sure when or how he became so dependent on drinkin...

blessed · blessed

My A has told me that on this date, this, that and the other is going to happen including, "I will buy you out and then you need to leave.", and it woudl be best if we just "did this ourselves instead of involing expensive attorneys." What that says to me is, "just trust me, even...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I realize alcoholism is classified as a disease. But I have some issues with that word. The "cure" for alcoholism is abstinence. If the alcoholic chooses to drink, they are choosing not to utilize the cure. We have a choice to stick around and watch them destroy themselves or not. They may a...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I've had a rough day. As I transition at work, things are being turned over to me by a coworker who said some pretty awful things to me and whom I've ignored ever since. She's so cold in her way of communicating it's scary. One day I felt sorry for her because she sat alone after many from her department ha...

blessed · blessed

Today was an intersting day. My son, departing for college in about a month, called from the mechanic. His car repair will exceed the value of the car, and not safe to drive to/from college to home (14 hours and 900 miles). So, car shopping we went. Right after work, we hit a few lots, did some test drives,...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I have been keeping my side of the street clean with my mother, putting boundaries in place. When i told her about my ah wanting a divorce i told her i was going to take care of me first. Not either of my sisters or my mother(they all struggle with addictions/and or disfunction's) She said i would like you...

sunrise2014 · sunrise2014

Well, I posted previously that my husband (addict) came back home (not officially together) after 7 months of separation and fresh out of rehab (for a month now) and found some gal to phone and text since he's been out. After I was made to feel guilty enough for my stiff-arm I eventually gave in and was...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone I woke up this morning and I just didn't want to work today. It has been so stressful and I know I needed to go to work but I just called in sick. No I'm not sick but I don't care. If I didn't take this day off to be by myself and just veg out I don't what I would be like tonight. Did I do wrong yes but s...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I decided a few weeks ago that I would not discuss my AH at work anymore. This morning a coworker bluntly asked me if he and I were getting back together or not. I said "I'm sorry. I can't talk about him at work anymore, it's too distracting. I appreciate your concern. Thanks for asking." I have...

CarlyM123 · CarlyM123

A wonderful lady told me at an al anon meeting something that continues to stick with me - she said "We are only human".... and as simple as that statement is, it really stuck with me because she is so right. Sometimes I feel that because I may get angry or react in ways that I shouldn't with my a...

blessed · blessed

Yesterday I had a thermography done. This is at the doctor office I work at so know the tech. One side of my carodid artery (sp) was "hot". The tech asked, "Do you have stress in your life?" LOL! Na, not at all. Well, my job, of which I am the office manager, is very multi-tasking al...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, there's a man coming to do our lawns. It's going to cost me big the first time but oh well. It's been over waist high for months, enough already. I cleaned the bathroom and threw away all of his beer cans and bottles and cigarette butts and the beard he shaved off and left all over the sink months ago t...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I go to the attorney tomorrow to start the divorce process. My (R)? AH and I talked on Sunday and I spoke straight from the heart and he did too. I feel like I have said everything that I needed him to hear and am starting to repeat myself so after he left, I decided that if I didn't hear from him by Monday afte...

watts · watts

Well...I made the 13.5 hour drive....and it took everything I had not to turn around after 3 hours...tears, heartache, misery... The night before he was drunk, but he said he couldn't take it anymore...asked me to go for a two week vacay, visit and come back...with my heart aching, my mouth said yes,...

CarlyM123 · CarlyM123

My partner is an alcoholic. Ive known this since we started dating but she was in recovery when we first were together. She has been drinking a lot lately and I dont know what to do. Its been a nightmare since she started drinking again. I dont want to break up with her (which we almost did tonight) and...

cheekymonkee · cheekymonkee

struggling with my emotions.....my partner is 2 yrs sober and for that I am grateful. she has been working her program and for that I am grateful. we have been best friends for a little over 20 yrs with r ups and downs, but have been dating for about 3 yrs. when we first became friends I knew right away we wer...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

Although I have only attended a few f2f meetings and reading the posts from this site for 3 months, I have picked up skills to deal with non - A people too! I have been working 14-16 hours a day for the last 3 weeks. There were deadlines and analysis was needed like 2 weeks ago. I was asked to take up this proj...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

Just want to share this before I go to sleep. I was thinking about alcoholism, and the battles we go through being friends,family, and partners of addicts. We lose the battle in our minds first before we lose it to something or someone else first. If we have made up our mind about something, then no matte...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and it didn't seem that anyone missed him or cared. We had a Yogurt Birthday party for my 10year old grandson (freaking delicious!!). My daughter and son-in-law were paying and I've been practicing liking freebies so I went...Wife was feeling spine sore so Its up to me right?? lol We all had fun c...

Talllady · Talllady

Hello everyone: I have been in a relationship with a man for what will be 4 years, TODAY... But, as usual with him lately, he stood me up last night as we had a date planned to go on after his "supposed meeting". He has been using for as long as I know, and even lots that i don't know of. He is hooke...

Luiza · Luiza

So yesterday H came home after a late shift...of course he had a few drinks. I was in the bedroom meditating, and he came in. Got ready to sleep and started asking questions AGAIN. - Are you ok? Are you sure? Do you want to tell me anything? Is there anything you want to talk about? Are you upset? Have a done s...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I was ok really, happy, enjoying things, then these things happened: My tenants shorted me money with out asking, money I needed for my last week before I get paid. (only get money once a month) left me stuck at home when I needed seriously to get to town. I texted my son as I really needed help. He never tex...

Debilyn · Debilyn

)c:< Today I decided to stop this behavior of hoping someone would call me. Stop waiting for my son to get back to me. I invited a supposed friend, on her terms it seems, to come out the end of this month. I wanted to decorate and make a yummy meal or go out. she writes back i migh...

Flower49 · Flower49

At our meeting tonight no came to chair the meeting. I didn't know what to do, so I went ahead and started with all the usual al-anon speak, we chose step 1 as our topic and then I closed with the usual al-anon closing and prayer. I hope this was ok to do, I needed a meeting and the others did too. Not sure what t...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I broke down a wall today that I had been hiding behind for such a long time. I finally told my mom just how bad my husbands drinking has gotten. For so many years I did not want to admit this to anyone. Somehow I have felt that I carried part of the blame for this. I know now (through Al-Anon) that I'm not to b...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I watched the tribute video to Derek Jeter and the newscasts in the All Stars game. Our families lived in the same complex where I moved from my home state with my children who were both 8 and 6 at the time. Derek and my son are the same age. They played ball in the back yard. Both my kids and Derek played...

el-cee · el-cee

Part of my dis-ease was the constant what ifs. The future terrified me before alanon. I couldnt live life or enjoy life as it happened, I was too busy worrying about tomorrow to take any notice of today. Just for today is becoming clearer to me. Its important to my happiness and positive thinking becau...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I'm in a really bad place. My AH came home yesterday after being on a binge. He then proceeded to finally talk to me. He says he doesn't understand why he is choosing to drink. He says he thinks his life is boring without it. What a remark! I like boring. It means we can go on without the ups and downs of...

Katy · Katy

Keep my mouth shut in my relationship, because there were too many issues and behaviours that affected me, being part of a couple that made a pact to love one another in sickness and in health well I tried very hard too, I just missed the part where mutual was mentioned and there was very little of that. So...

blessed · blessed

I will not reply to an email that came from someone that is sitting 6 feet away from me in a hotel room, asking where we should go to dinner. DO NOT REPLY DELETE For awhile I had him blocked, and his messages immediately went to trash. I guess I should set that up again. My AH won't talk to me but will send me tex...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, my second attempt at the driving test is next week and the nerves are building again. So today, I took my daughter to get her ears pierced again (she wanted her nose pierced, as if, we settled for a second set of earings). On the way I admitted to her that i have always wanted to get my nose pierced but,...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

called my AH tonight trying to help him understand the seriousness of us possibly losing our house soon. He says he is too busy and needs to go to hardware store. He always runs to the store right before it closes...racing there like a maniac. my AH said he would have a job by the end of June. No job. He suppo...

andromeda · andromeda

So, ever since my RAH quit drinking a few weeks ago, I've noticed that his diet is crazy weird. He will not eat what I cook, which I'm not sure if this is a passive aggressive thing towards me or if he's just not hungry for it or whatever (he's an A so I honestly don't ask). He had mentioned that he was trying...

Sean_82 · Sean_82

Hi - I've an AW that has been in recovery now for 12 years and we've 2 kids. Over the years she's had bouts of depression that I've been drawn into but with the help of meetings I've been able to stay sane, however I only go to meetings at the darkest moments (I know I need to keep coming back). The last 6 months...

missmeliss · missmeliss

The A is just laying in his room like a baby. I am utterly detatched and he knows I am seeking housing that does not include him. He isn't even drinking, and when he does get alcohol he has a few drinks, gets fuzzy and turns off his light and goes to sleep, for a good 16-18 hours. Der, he's extremely depressed...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Ah staying at his mothers (Preview) My dry ah is living at his mothers while we separate. Saw him for 5 minutes tops to discuss money and he needs to sign agreement for our lawyer to represent me in the divorce. I told him he needed to find some time to talk this out. Instead of his usual 5 minute a day i get his attention. He is usually out saving...	Mirandac	9	518	Jul 21, 2014 by Jen61
	Support for adult child recently out of rehab (Preview) 43 year old son recently went back to his own home after 21 days of inpatient rehab. We financed the program but we also now have control over his income/bank account to handle all his finances until he has paid us back. He is divorced, without children and lives 150 miles away. It is difficult to suppo...	Jeffs Mom	13	538	Jul 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	Am I resisting or just confused (Preview) Hi all! Went to see my A on Saturday at the 1/2 way house. Visited with him about 2.5 hours. It was good. Talked with him yesterday and I was kind of weepy, feeling irritated, and just not really hopeful. Partially I think that is because there was a big picnic and he told me on Friday that I wouldn't like it s...	Flower49	15	584	Jul 21, 2014 by Flower49
	Step 11 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58116328/alanon-step-11/	hotrod	3	357	Jul 21, 2014 by hotrod
	This rope has a lot of ends (Preview) I've been re-reading a year's worth of journal entries. With a few exceptions, they're all like groundhog day. The number of times I said (about my AH) "I've finally snapped!", "I'm done," "I'm at the end of my rope," etc., would be funny if it weren't so sad. Every ti...	NL14	2	400	Jul 21, 2014 by andromeda
	Relentless coworkers bugging me! (Preview) Thought I had coworkers under my al anon spell regarding boundaries when asking me about my AH. I guess not! Another coworker today asked me if we were divorcing after I already told her it was too hard for me to talk about him at work. He used to work at the same place so it's difficult! After she asked me ab...	Newlife girl	10	634	Jul 21, 2014 by Jerry F
	when in rome (Preview) Im getting on a plane today for the first time in years and im flying to italy. Im going to rome. Last night I had a bit of a panic attack about it, I got scared about flying, the coming out of my comfort zone, leaving my sons behind, wee bit of guilt, im going with my daughter for some mother, daughter time, a b...	el-cee	21	995	Jul 21, 2014 by el-cee
	Update on my having left home (Preview) Well I am having good days and bad, and I can't help but think how painful it is leaving someone that hurts me so much and makes me feel anxious and fearful all of the time even though this feels like the right thing to do and even though I have taken way to long to have the courage to do it yes it still leaves me f...	Katy	6	544	Jul 20, 2014 by sunshine23
	I need to pull my finger out... (Preview) AH has been sleeping in the spare room for nearly two months. Day to day all is well and calm but I do find myself climbing the walls with the lack of emotional connection in my life. Its not new. It is really a long standing problem between us, and one that I ignored for a long time. Today I have tried to a...	milkwood	14	582	Jul 20, 2014 by tiredtonite
	I am scared. (Preview) The atmosphere is unbearable, I am starting to shake. He is sober, he had something to drink but is sober and he is angry. He has been so passive aggressive, I hate it. I almost got sucked in the negativity twice but daughter is awake. I must control myself. All because I refused sex last night and sugge...	Luiza	31	852	Jul 20, 2014 by Tampa
	When is it time to leave? (Preview) If I follow these guidelines, it is time to leave. Hmmmm. Not so much the reasons to stay; but I could check off just about every one under, when to leave. Every day it is more clear that I am not as attractive as a bottle of vodka; and I won't compete with that, or anything or anybody. better, healthier go a...	blessed	7	946	Jul 20, 2014 by Tampa
	Facing it (Preview) I have had a few bad days. I haven't posted because not sure if I can handle any more glaring facts of reality. I let my daughter help me look up phone records yesterday and found phone number on husbands account that he calls daily sometimes more. Daughter called number and a woman answered. I did not h...	Hullibee	7	531	Jul 20, 2014 by Debilyn
	making lists (Preview) I did a gratitude list, a to do for the house and property if we need to sell in the divorce, a fun things to do list, also who i saw or talked to that day. I am contacting people that have been very supportive of me and my Journey with my dry ah the last 11 years. Telling them what is going on and receiving grea...	Mirandac	8	537	Jul 20, 2014 by Mirandac
	Need some accountabilty (Preview) I am looking for someone from MIP to check in with me daily to make sure I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing with my program: am I reading, am I journaling, am I writing in my gratitude journal, am I getting to meetings and, if so, when? Am I watching my spending and sticking to a budget or being controlle...	andromeda	11	562	Jul 20, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Update about work (Preview) I'm not sure if I've put boundaries in place or created walls where I work. It doesn't matter because I feel I was true to myself. I'm in transition to a new job in the workplace and finishing up bits and pieces of my old job. My former supervisor took me to lunch and thanked me for my work last week. They ar...	tiredtonite	13	620	Jul 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	Parking tickets .. AND visitation .. (Preview) So I have worked most of this stuff out I think .. LOL .. however I did want to share some of my own growth this past week. First off, I'm dealing with the dang truck AGAIN! My STBAX actually paid 2 of the 3 tickets .. considering that they were on MY personal credit report and his motto is just don't pay this...	SerenityRUS	14	562	Jul 20, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Feeling very alone (Preview) I feel like, not only have a lost at love (again!), since my A-ex created so much chaos in our relationship that what we had was destroyed...I also feel like all of my friendships were destroyed. The one's that were created through our relationship were lost when we split, since most were a part of his l...	LiveLaughLove	8	560	Jul 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	upping the ante uppingtheante breakups maliciousbehavior (Preview) AxBF thinks he has a good hand to play obviously. He really upped the ante this weekend. He posted some very awful pictures and said some very awful things, that he rationalizes as work related but were clearly to hurt me deep down. 1 of them dug up a trust issue we had with someone in 2010 .. He pulled th...	giraffe13	9	751	Jul 20, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Just keep swimming.... (Preview) Hi all, Just an update from me..it helps to put it down in writing too...So I'm here at my friends apartment wandering like a lost soul. Her, her daughter and her grandchildren are a great distraction from my own mind as they consistently force me to keep going through the motions of the day, as does my s...	watts	6	535	Jul 19, 2014 by hotrod
	Don't know where I stand (Preview) I'm trying to apply alanon stools to sit. I get in like qtip quit taking it personal,my main problem is I take e erything way too personal,a bf has been trying to make things right between us but I have a bad habit of bringing up his affair he had I can't seem to put it behind me,I turn several things he says...	lookingup	7	511	Jul 19, 2014 by Debilyn
	update since my breakup (Preview) hello hello. Been awhile, I just wanted to post and share how I was doing since I broke up with my ABF in April. A few months went by and he called me 3 weeks ago to just see how I was doing. We ended up spending a two week period together, him helping me move into my new apt (where I am now very happy) and we went ca...	giraffe13	8	604	Jul 19, 2014 by giraffe13
	Why can't I accept drinking? (Preview) Someone from church found out from my kids that AH has moved out. Proceeded to ask my family why and guessed it was drinking because they saw him drunk twice at my place. My family member actually answered "yes"! The friend proceeded to say "you mean she cannot accept someone who drink...	sunshine23	7	525	Jul 19, 2014 by blessed
	Is this a threat? (Preview) Found this in my trash since I block all his emails; so I guess they go to trash. I sent a copy to his "sponsor". That is a joke as he lies to him and is working NO program. Just smoke & mirrors. I don't give my A access to online acts. as he is an A. He can walk in the bank with a check and take everyt...	blessed	10	662	Jul 19, 2014 by blessed
	Anxiety and Stressed !! (Preview) My son has been sentenced it's been over 2 weeks. I have written several letters but have not mailed any.. His is now off restriction but yet the thought of visiting him gives me anxiety.. I get depressed. He knows I love him. But his actions and poor choices has effected me and his little sister in so many...	Gaby	9	455	Jul 19, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Removing the Privilege to drive (Preview) I have been dealing with my AH now for three years. He has had some counselling but now refuses to go as he feels he can quit on his own. He has done that, then starts up again. Of course he denies actually being an alcoholic - he says he has a "drinking problem" because of the way people treat h...	Greenleaf	13	614	Jul 19, 2014 by sunshine23
	Newbie - Feeling less alone (Preview) I am new here and am so glad I found this group. It seems that what I am feeling is so similar to others here - so conflicted. I have been married for a very long time to a husband who started out not to drink much at all. Like the frog in the kettle, I'm just not sure when or how he became so dependent on drinkin...	pwcpw	9	725	Jul 19, 2014 by pinkchip
	Attorney (Preview) My A has told me that on this date, this, that and the other is going to happen including, "I will buy you out and then you need to leave.", and it woudl be best if we just "did this ourselves instead of involing expensive attorneys." What that says to me is, "just trust me, even...	blessed	14	734	Jul 19, 2014 by Newlife girl
	I think referring to alcoholism as a disease makes people feel obligated to stay with the alcoholic (Preview) I realize alcoholism is classified as a disease. But I have some issues with that word. The "cure" for alcoholism is abstinence. If the alcoholic chooses to drink, they are choosing not to utilize the cure. We have a choice to stick around and watch them destroy themselves or not. They may a...	Newlife girl	20	747	Jul 19, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Judgemental Coworkers (Preview) I've had a rough day. As I transition at work, things are being turned over to me by a coworker who said some pretty awful things to me and whom I've ignored ever since. She's so cold in her way of communicating it's scary. One day I felt sorry for her because she sat alone after many from her department ha...	tiredtonite	8	1086	Jul 18, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Where Are You? (Preview) Today was an intersting day. My son, departing for college in about a month, called from the mechanic. His car repair will exceed the value of the car, and not safe to drive to/from college to home (14 hours and 900 miles). So, car shopping we went. Right after work, we hit a few lots, did some test drives,...	blessed	13	557	Jul 18, 2014 by blessed
	Clean street with mother (Preview) I have been keeping my side of the street clean with my mother, putting boundaries in place. When i told her about my ah wanting a divorce i told her i was going to take care of me first. Not either of my sisters or my mother(they all struggle with addictions/and or disfunction's) She said i would like you...	Mirandac	4	477	Jul 18, 2014 by Mirandac
	Broken spirit - broken heart (Preview) Well, I posted previously that my husband (addict) came back home (not officially together) after 7 months of separation and fresh out of rehab (for a month now) and found some gal to phone and text since he's been out. After I was made to feel guilty enough for my stiff-arm I eventually gave in and was...	sunrise2014	15	725	Jul 18, 2014 by milkwood
	Have a Good Friday (Preview) Hi Everyone I woke up this morning and I just didn't want to work today. It has been so stressful and I know I needed to go to work but I just called in sick. No I'm not sick but I don't care. If I didn't take this day off to be by myself and just veg out I don't what I would be like tonight. Did I do wrong yes but s...	Cathyinaz	5	487	Jul 18, 2014 by milkwood
	I made a promise to myself and I am sticking to it (Preview) I decided a few weeks ago that I would not discuss my AH at work anymore. This morning a coworker bluntly asked me if he and I were getting back together or not. I said "I'm sorry. I can't talk about him at work anymore, it's too distracting. I appreciate your concern. Thanks for asking." I have...	Newlife girl	10	606	Jul 18, 2014 by Breakingfree
	we are only human (Preview) A wonderful lady told me at an al anon meeting something that continues to stick with me - she said "We are only human".... and as simple as that statement is, it really stuck with me because she is so right. Sometimes I feel that because I may get angry or react in ways that I shouldn't with my a...	CarlyM123	4	489	Jul 18, 2014 by PP
	Do you have stress? (Preview) Yesterday I had a thermography done. This is at the doctor office I work at so know the tech. One side of my carodid artery (sp) was "hot". The tech asked, "Do you have stress in your life?" LOL! Na, not at all. Well, my job, of which I am the office manager, is very multi-tasking al...	blessed	0	404	Jul 18, 2014 by blessed
	Plannings and ramblings. (Preview) Well, there's a man coming to do our lawns. It's going to cost me big the first time but oh well. It's been over waist high for months, enough already. I cleaned the bathroom and threw away all of his beer cans and bottles and cigarette butts and the beard he shaved off and left all over the sink months ago t...	missmeliss	11	695	Jul 17, 2014 by tiredtonite
	I Made the Call (Preview) I go to the attorney tomorrow to start the divorce process. My (R)? AH and I talked on Sunday and I spoke straight from the heart and he did too. I feel like I have said everything that I needed him to hear and am starting to repeat myself so after he left, I decided that if I didn't hear from him by Monday afte...	wornoutmrsfixit	11	702	Jul 17, 2014 by tiredtonite
	I did it...but I'm miserable (Preview) Well...I made the 13.5 hour drive....and it took everything I had not to turn around after 3 hours...tears, heartache, misery... The night before he was drunk, but he said he couldn't take it anymore...asked me to go for a two week vacay, visit and come back...with my heart aching, my mouth said yes,...	watts	15	725	Jul 17, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Need help (Preview) My partner is an alcoholic. Ive known this since we started dating but she was in recovery when we first were together. She has been drinking a lot lately and I dont know what to do. Its been a nightmare since she started drinking again. I dont want to break up with her (which we almost did tonight) and...	CarlyM123	14	689	Jul 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	dont even know (Preview) struggling with my emotions.....my partner is 2 yrs sober and for that I am grateful. she has been working her program and for that I am grateful. we have been best friends for a little over 20 yrs with r ups and downs, but have been dating for about 3 yrs. when we first became friends I knew right away we wer...	cheekymonkee	6	521	Jul 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	Tools from Al-anon to deal with everyday life (Preview) Although I have only attended a few f2f meetings and reading the posts from this site for 3 months, I have picked up skills to deal with non - A people too! I have been working 14-16 hours a day for the last 3 weeks. There were deadlines and analysis was needed like 2 weeks ago. I was asked to take up this proj...	sunshine23	5	536	Jul 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	mind battles (Preview) Just want to share this before I go to sleep. I was thinking about alcoholism, and the battles we go through being friends,family, and partners of addicts. We lose the battle in our minds first before we lose it to something or someone else first. If we have made up our mind about something, then no matte...	giraffe13	3	343	Jul 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	No one even mentioned his name (Preview) and it didn't seem that anyone missed him or cared. We had a Yogurt Birthday party for my 10year old grandson (freaking delicious!!). My daughter and son-in-law were paying and I've been practicing liking freebies so I went...Wife was feeling spine sore so Its up to me right?? lol We all had fun c...	Jerry F	7	646	Jul 17, 2014 by Jerry F
	This is my first time here online and my first ever post, but I am in a really bad place (Preview) Hello everyone: I have been in a relationship with a man for what will be 4 years, TODAY... But, as usual with him lately, he stood me up last night as we had a date planned to go on after his "supposed meeting". He has been using for as long as I know, and even lots that i don't know of. He is hooke...	Talllady	11	671	Jul 17, 2014 by karma13
	I feel like I won another battle without even fighting (Preview) So yesterday H came home after a late shift...of course he had a few drinks. I was in the bedroom meditating, and he came in. Got ready to sleep and started asking questions AGAIN. - Are you ok? Are you sure? Do you want to tell me anything? Is there anything you want to talk about? Are you upset? Have a done s...	Luiza	12	706	Jul 17, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	I really suck and messed up (Preview) I was ok really, happy, enjoying things, then these things happened: My tenants shorted me money with out asking, money I needed for my last week before I get paid. (only get money once a month) left me stuck at home when I needed seriously to get to town. I texted my son as I really needed help. He never tex...	Debilyn	13	747	Jul 17, 2014 by bud
	venting (Preview) )c:< Today I decided to stop this behavior of hoping someone would call me. Stop waiting for my son to get back to me. I invited a supposed friend, on her terms it seems, to come out the end of this month. I wanted to decorate and make a yummy meal or go out. she writes back i migh...	Debilyn	15	747	Jul 17, 2014 by bud
	Question about chairing a meeting (Preview) At our meeting tonight no came to chair the meeting. I didn't know what to do, so I went ahead and started with all the usual al-anon speak, we chose step 1 as our topic and then I closed with the usual al-anon closing and prayer. I hope this was ok to do, I needed a meeting and the others did too. Not sure what t...	Flower49	3	500	Jul 17, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Revealing my ugly little secret (Preview) I broke down a wall today that I had been hiding behind for such a long time. I finally told my mom just how bad my husbands drinking has gotten. For so many years I did not want to admit this to anyone. Somehow I have felt that I carried part of the blame for this. I know now (through Al-Anon) that I'm not to b...	cloudyskies	4	519	Jul 17, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Derek Jeter and My Son (Preview) I watched the tribute video to Derek Jeter and the newscasts in the All Stars game. Our families lived in the same complex where I moved from my home state with my children who were both 8 and 6 at the time. Derek and my son are the same age. They played ball in the back yard. Both my kids and Derek played...	grateful2be	17	746	Jul 16, 2014 by grateful2be
	living In the present (Preview) Part of my dis-ease was the constant what ifs. The future terrified me before alanon. I couldnt live life or enjoy life as it happened, I was too busy worrying about tomorrow to take any notice of today. Just for today is becoming clearer to me. Its important to my happiness and positive thinking becau...	el-cee	11	2148	Jul 16, 2014 by blessed
	Wearing Blinders (Preview) I'm in a really bad place. My AH came home yesterday after being on a binge. He then proceeded to finally talk to me. He says he doesn't understand why he is choosing to drink. He says he thinks his life is boring without it. What a remark! I like boring. It means we can go on without the ups and downs of...	Hullibee	10	590	Jul 16, 2014 by blessed
	I couldn't really! (Preview) Keep my mouth shut in my relationship, because there were too many issues and behaviours that affected me, being part of a couple that made a pact to love one another in sickness and in health well I tried very hard too, I just missed the part where mutual was mentioned and there was very little of that. So...	Katy	2	354	Jul 16, 2014 by hotrod
	I will not.... (Preview) I will not reply to an email that came from someone that is sitting 6 feet away from me in a hotel room, asking where we should go to dinner. DO NOT REPLY DELETE For awhile I had him blocked, and his messages immediately went to trash. I guess I should set that up again. My AH won't talk to me but will send me tex...	blessed	19	798	Jul 16, 2014 by blessed
	Thank-you Kenny Fenderjazz!! (Preview) Well, my second attempt at the driving test is next week and the nerves are building again. So today, I took my daughter to get her ears pierced again (she wanted her nose pierced, as if, we settled for a second set of earings). On the way I admitted to her that i have always wanted to get my nose pierced but,...	missmeliss	22	673	Jul 16, 2014 by PP
	Running around like a chicken with his head cut off (Preview) called my AH tonight trying to help him understand the seriousness of us possibly losing our house soon. He says he is too busy and needs to go to hardware store. He always runs to the store right before it closes...racing there like a maniac. my AH said he would have a job by the end of June. No job. He suppo...	Newlife girl	4	517	Jul 16, 2014 by Newlife girl
	My RAH put himself on a weird diet and other sobriety questions (Preview) So, ever since my RAH quit drinking a few weeks ago, I've noticed that his diet is crazy weird. He will not eat what I cook, which I'm not sure if this is a passive aggressive thing towards me or if he's just not hungry for it or whatever (he's an A so I honestly don't ask). He had mentioned that he was trying...	andromeda	12	694	Jul 16, 2014 by andromeda
	To stay or to go? (Preview) Hi - I've an AW that has been in recovery now for 12 years and we've 2 kids. Over the years she's had bouts of depression that I've been drawn into but with the help of meetings I've been able to stay sane, however I only go to meetings at the darkest moments (I know I need to keep coming back). The last 6 months...	Sean_82	9	598	Jul 16, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	like a baby.. (Preview) The A is just laying in his room like a baby. I am utterly detatched and he knows I am seeking housing that does not include him. He isn't even drinking, and when he does get alcohol he has a few drinks, gets fuzzy and turns off his light and goes to sleep, for a good 16-18 hours. Der, he's extremely depressed...	missmeliss	17	790	Jul 15, 2014 by Talllady
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.