Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

blessed · blessed

My A has told me that on this date, this, that and the other is going to happen including, "I will buy you out and then you need to leave.", and it woudl be best if we just "did this ourselves instead of involing expensive attorneys." What that says to me is, "just trust me, even...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I realize alcoholism is classified as a disease. But I have some issues with that word. The "cure" for alcoholism is abstinence. If the alcoholic chooses to drink, they are choosing not to utilize the cure. We have a choice to stick around and watch them destroy themselves or not. They may a...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I've had a rough day. As I transition at work, things are being turned over to me by a coworker who said some pretty awful things to me and whom I've ignored ever since. She's so cold in her way of communicating it's scary. One day I felt sorry for her because she sat alone after many from her department ha...

blessed · blessed

Today was an intersting day. My son, departing for college in about a month, called from the mechanic. His car repair will exceed the value of the car, and not safe to drive to/from college to home (14 hours and 900 miles). So, car shopping we went. Right after work, we hit a few lots, did some test drives,...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I have been keeping my side of the street clean with my mother, putting boundaries in place. When i told her about my ah wanting a divorce i told her i was going to take care of me first. Not either of my sisters or my mother(they all struggle with addictions/and or disfunction's) She said i would like you...

sunrise2014 · sunrise2014

Well, I posted previously that my husband (addict) came back home (not officially together) after 7 months of separation and fresh out of rehab (for a month now) and found some gal to phone and text since he's been out. After I was made to feel guilty enough for my stiff-arm I eventually gave in and was...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone I woke up this morning and I just didn't want to work today. It has been so stressful and I know I needed to go to work but I just called in sick. No I'm not sick but I don't care. If I didn't take this day off to be by myself and just veg out I don't what I would be like tonight. Did I do wrong yes but s...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I decided a few weeks ago that I would not discuss my AH at work anymore. This morning a coworker bluntly asked me if he and I were getting back together or not. I said "I'm sorry. I can't talk about him at work anymore, it's too distracting. I appreciate your concern. Thanks for asking." I have...

CarlyM123 · CarlyM123

A wonderful lady told me at an al anon meeting something that continues to stick with me - she said "We are only human".... and as simple as that statement is, it really stuck with me because she is so right. Sometimes I feel that because I may get angry or react in ways that I shouldn't with my a...

blessed · blessed

Yesterday I had a thermography done. This is at the doctor office I work at so know the tech. One side of my carodid artery (sp) was "hot". The tech asked, "Do you have stress in your life?" LOL! Na, not at all. Well, my job, of which I am the office manager, is very multi-tasking al...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, there's a man coming to do our lawns. It's going to cost me big the first time but oh well. It's been over waist high for months, enough already. I cleaned the bathroom and threw away all of his beer cans and bottles and cigarette butts and the beard he shaved off and left all over the sink months ago t...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I go to the attorney tomorrow to start the divorce process. My (R)? AH and I talked on Sunday and I spoke straight from the heart and he did too. I feel like I have said everything that I needed him to hear and am starting to repeat myself so after he left, I decided that if I didn't hear from him by Monday afte...

watts · watts

Well...I made the 13.5 hour drive....and it took everything I had not to turn around after 3 hours...tears, heartache, misery... The night before he was drunk, but he said he couldn't take it anymore...asked me to go for a two week vacay, visit and come back...with my heart aching, my mouth said yes,...

CarlyM123 · CarlyM123

My partner is an alcoholic. Ive known this since we started dating but she was in recovery when we first were together. She has been drinking a lot lately and I dont know what to do. Its been a nightmare since she started drinking again. I dont want to break up with her (which we almost did tonight) and...

cheekymonkee · cheekymonkee

struggling with my emotions.....my partner is 2 yrs sober and for that I am grateful. she has been working her program and for that I am grateful. we have been best friends for a little over 20 yrs with r ups and downs, but have been dating for about 3 yrs. when we first became friends I knew right away we wer...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

Although I have only attended a few f2f meetings and reading the posts from this site for 3 months, I have picked up skills to deal with non - A people too! I have been working 14-16 hours a day for the last 3 weeks. There were deadlines and analysis was needed like 2 weeks ago. I was asked to take up this proj...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

Just want to share this before I go to sleep. I was thinking about alcoholism, and the battles we go through being friends,family, and partners of addicts. We lose the battle in our minds first before we lose it to something or someone else first. If we have made up our mind about something, then no matte...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and it didn't seem that anyone missed him or cared. We had a Yogurt Birthday party for my 10year old grandson (freaking delicious!!). My daughter and son-in-law were paying and I've been practicing liking freebies so I went...Wife was feeling spine sore so Its up to me right?? lol We all had fun c...

Talllady · Talllady

Hello everyone: I have been in a relationship with a man for what will be 4 years, TODAY... But, as usual with him lately, he stood me up last night as we had a date planned to go on after his "supposed meeting". He has been using for as long as I know, and even lots that i don't know of. He is hooke...

Luiza · Luiza

So yesterday H came home after a late shift...of course he had a few drinks. I was in the bedroom meditating, and he came in. Got ready to sleep and started asking questions AGAIN. - Are you ok? Are you sure? Do you want to tell me anything? Is there anything you want to talk about? Are you upset? Have a done s...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I was ok really, happy, enjoying things, then these things happened: My tenants shorted me money with out asking, money I needed for my last week before I get paid. (only get money once a month) left me stuck at home when I needed seriously to get to town. I texted my son as I really needed help. He never tex...

Debilyn · Debilyn

)c:< Today I decided to stop this behavior of hoping someone would call me. Stop waiting for my son to get back to me. I invited a supposed friend, on her terms it seems, to come out the end of this month. I wanted to decorate and make a yummy meal or go out. she writes back i migh...

Flower49 · Flower49

At our meeting tonight no came to chair the meeting. I didn't know what to do, so I went ahead and started with all the usual al-anon speak, we chose step 1 as our topic and then I closed with the usual al-anon closing and prayer. I hope this was ok to do, I needed a meeting and the others did too. Not sure what t...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I broke down a wall today that I had been hiding behind for such a long time. I finally told my mom just how bad my husbands drinking has gotten. For so many years I did not want to admit this to anyone. Somehow I have felt that I carried part of the blame for this. I know now (through Al-Anon) that I'm not to b...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I watched the tribute video to Derek Jeter and the newscasts in the All Stars game. Our families lived in the same complex where I moved from my home state with my children who were both 8 and 6 at the time. Derek and my son are the same age. They played ball in the back yard. Both my kids and Derek played...

el-cee · el-cee

Part of my dis-ease was the constant what ifs. The future terrified me before alanon. I couldnt live life or enjoy life as it happened, I was too busy worrying about tomorrow to take any notice of today. Just for today is becoming clearer to me. Its important to my happiness and positive thinking becau...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I'm in a really bad place. My AH came home yesterday after being on a binge. He then proceeded to finally talk to me. He says he doesn't understand why he is choosing to drink. He says he thinks his life is boring without it. What a remark! I like boring. It means we can go on without the ups and downs of...

Katy · Katy

Keep my mouth shut in my relationship, because there were too many issues and behaviours that affected me, being part of a couple that made a pact to love one another in sickness and in health well I tried very hard too, I just missed the part where mutual was mentioned and there was very little of that. So...

blessed · blessed

I will not reply to an email that came from someone that is sitting 6 feet away from me in a hotel room, asking where we should go to dinner. DO NOT REPLY DELETE For awhile I had him blocked, and his messages immediately went to trash. I guess I should set that up again. My AH won't talk to me but will send me tex...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, my second attempt at the driving test is next week and the nerves are building again. So today, I took my daughter to get her ears pierced again (she wanted her nose pierced, as if, we settled for a second set of earings). On the way I admitted to her that i have always wanted to get my nose pierced but,...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

called my AH tonight trying to help him understand the seriousness of us possibly losing our house soon. He says he is too busy and needs to go to hardware store. He always runs to the store right before it closes...racing there like a maniac. my AH said he would have a job by the end of June. No job. He suppo...

andromeda · andromeda

So, ever since my RAH quit drinking a few weeks ago, I've noticed that his diet is crazy weird. He will not eat what I cook, which I'm not sure if this is a passive aggressive thing towards me or if he's just not hungry for it or whatever (he's an A so I honestly don't ask). He had mentioned that he was trying...

Sean_82 · Sean_82

Hi - I've an AW that has been in recovery now for 12 years and we've 2 kids. Over the years she's had bouts of depression that I've been drawn into but with the help of meetings I've been able to stay sane, however I only go to meetings at the darkest moments (I know I need to keep coming back). The last 6 months...

missmeliss · missmeliss

The A is just laying in his room like a baby. I am utterly detatched and he knows I am seeking housing that does not include him. He isn't even drinking, and when he does get alcohol he has a few drinks, gets fuzzy and turns off his light and goes to sleep, for a good 16-18 hours. Der, he's extremely depressed...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I came to this realization today when I told a close friend of mine that when she was suspicious today that her addict husband possibly" took something" yesterday....that she shouldn't be surprised because that's who he is! I told her I know my AH will drink again and when he does, it won't s...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone I have spent a hour here thinking should I post or not. OK I'm posting I'm in a rut. I'm scared, worried and tired of my life. The bad part is I won't do anything about it. I work many hours then when I do get home I just lay down and go to sleep. All weekend all I did was lay on the bed and watch...

KiaOra · KiaOra

Hi all, My A and I got into an argument, and instead of talking it out he decided to go drink himself silly. That was last night. Today he has spent most of the day throwing up and sleeping on the bathroom floor, instead of taking his daughter out for her birthday like he had promised. His daughter and his mo...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

xeternalblossomx · xeternalblossomx

Ok, I am going to try and sum this up the quickest way I can. My mother has been with her alcoholic boyfreind for 20years. He is a monster. She goes to work, busts her hump and is the sole breadwinner. He does NOTHING, contributes NOTHING, and she allows him to control all of her finances! She forks her mone...

el-cee · el-cee

Todays odat was a good one and I thought I would share parts of it with you. An aa who counsels families 'Yes, the alcoholic can be forced to get sober' the wife then goes on to list all the things shes tried over the years, threats, ultimatum, control etc. The aa person says 'that is you applying the force a...

Sean_82 · Sean_82

My partner hasn't drunk for over 10 years but nothing changes, I still have to deal with the bouts of depression, manipulation, resentment etc etc the mood of the our family home (we've two young kids) is governed by how she feels. My current frustration is that maybe 6 months ago I was happy, positive a...

Hullibee · Hullibee

Well here I sit. Wondering where my alcoholic is drinking. He just texted and I didn't answer because I'm trying to stay detached. He texted again "F ....ing answer me. I replied and then asked the question "Where are you?" Of course I didn't really want to know. Now I do and I can't st...

killling_me_softly · killling_me_softly

Hello everybody. I'm new here and I'm not really sure where to start... My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He is a really great man. Good to my son (from a previously relationship) and to my whole entire family. The problem is, he is an alcoholic. He tries to find every reason and every exc...

MindyC · MindyC

First off I would like to say Hi. I am the mother of a 25 yr old alcohol and drug addict. Being a mother that has watched this child go thru so many health issues as a child ( he was diagnosed with Crohns at the age of 11) I have this mother bear gut instinct that makes me want to try and fix all his problems. I h...

glad · glad

My bf of a year who I am considering marrying soon had some mini strokes last week and was a patient in ICU. He has many adult children. One daughter announced her plan to bring her two teenage children from hundreds of miles away so that she could "take care of Daddy" which she has n...

AlAnonPhuket · AlAnonPhuket

Hi there, I am just trying to spread the word that finally an Al Anon group has started in Phuket, Thailand. Our helpline number is 0925909845, or you can email us at alanonphuket AT gmail DOT com if you would like to join us. We especially welcome visitors who are willing to share their experience, stre...

tortuga · tortuga

ok, i need a discussion here. As i stepped out of an unhealthy relationship with an A, i now am back for some time in my country and family of origin. And I feel different. Bored, alone, awake and constantly in the need to step away, because they drink, and with the drink comes stupid, selfish, cold behavi...

NL14 · NL14

Thank goodness it's Monday... I wonder if others with A partners feel this way: filled with relief that the weekend of togetherness and all that that entails is finally over and everyone's back to work and school on Monday. It's sad not to look forward to the weekend the way most people do, but I haven't...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Well, I went and put my foot into it, good and proper like. I was doing well, trying to do my own thing, take care of my own needs, all that jazz. I had been ignoring that he'd been drinking again, not my problem. I knew he was upset about something, but whatever. I just can't seem to leave things alone. ...

sunrise2014 · sunrise2014

My husband has been an addict for 10+ years and our daughters and I have been through hell during that time. In April, he finally admitted himself into an inpatient program. Throughout that time I was enjoying the peace and serenity at home, and realized that I could never, ever sacrifice that again...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

For the past several years as AH drank more and more and the hatred and distance grew I dreamed of being done with it all, now that I know it isn't all personal and he's sick and he has been trying to control his drinking it's so much harder to make the break. I feel like a yo-yo, one day/hour I am done and want...

sunrise2014 · sunrise2014

So, my husband has been an addict for 10+ years, and throughout that time I have never shared this with my family. His family is knows and provides him their support, but mine are in the dark. We separated when he went to treatment (which is how he hit bottom and ended up going), and now we seem to be livi...

Luiza · Luiza

I can't believe I would be writing this here, but here I am. I am ashamed, but I feel I need to share. So, Saturday night, H was asleep, I was with daughter watching TV and decided to drink one can of beer (440ml). I drank very quickly, daughter went to sleep and I decided to get a second one. Finished the sec...

watts · watts

So, I'm still going through the motions...packing near completion...goodbyes being said...two days of tears...heart breaking... Friday I set up time for my son to meet up with his half sister (AHs daughter from previous marriage)...they spent the afternoon together having fun then at the end of...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I stood up for myself at work yesterday and now I'm second guessing myself. Where I work I do the payroll, budgeting, bill paying and scheduling and for a law enforcement facility. I'm supposed to get help from the two other clerical ople at work - but they refuse. So therefore over the years I have l...

Lost Bird · Lost Bird

Hi, I am new to this forum, but not to the program as I am certain my family has had a connection to AA since 1935. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family of perfection. No one outside of the family knows there is an issue and those on the inside are not allowed to discuss or challenge it. As a result, I gr...

el-cee · el-cee

My sons new girlfriend has got a new house and he is moving in, they are like a family. She hasnt got much support from her own family but my family, wow, everyone is chipping in and helping out in all kinds of ways. Ive begun to question mine and my familys motives. Have we all jumped in to help through our ow...

kranjo · kranjo

My husband and I have been married for 7 years. He's always been a drinker, but I've never really seen him act drunk. I also remember being engaged to him and having taken a look in his medicine cabinet and thinking, wow. That's a lot of drugs. (He has back, neck, and knee pain, anxiety, depression, sleep...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

My AM asked me to get something for her & bring it upstairs..I got annoyed b/c I'm tired of enabeling her. But I feel like I can't tell her that b/c she will think it's about her drinking.. does that make sense or am I making something out of nothing? Was I wrong to get upset? Thank you for listening.

luv123 · luv123

Hi ala-friends, Gonna be 50 this week--do u remember how that felt for you or were u going through too much other bigger disease stuff at that time--do these milestone birthdays always feel tough for you ( I know many of u have also seen 60 & 70 & 80 or higher)? --I am feeling emotional; I could u...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Attorney (Preview) My A has told me that on this date, this, that and the other is going to happen including, "I will buy you out and then you need to leave.", and it woudl be best if we just "did this ourselves instead of involing expensive attorneys." What that says to me is, "just trust me, even...	blessed	14	677	Jul 19, 2014 by Newlife girl
	I think referring to alcoholism as a disease makes people feel obligated to stay with the alcoholic (Preview) I realize alcoholism is classified as a disease. But I have some issues with that word. The "cure" for alcoholism is abstinence. If the alcoholic chooses to drink, they are choosing not to utilize the cure. We have a choice to stick around and watch them destroy themselves or not. They may a...	Newlife girl	20	679	Jul 19, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Judgemental Coworkers (Preview) I've had a rough day. As I transition at work, things are being turned over to me by a coworker who said some pretty awful things to me and whom I've ignored ever since. She's so cold in her way of communicating it's scary. One day I felt sorry for her because she sat alone after many from her department ha...	tiredtonite	8	1013	Jul 18, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Where Are You? (Preview) Today was an intersting day. My son, departing for college in about a month, called from the mechanic. His car repair will exceed the value of the car, and not safe to drive to/from college to home (14 hours and 900 miles). So, car shopping we went. Right after work, we hit a few lots, did some test drives,...	blessed	13	491	Jul 18, 2014 by blessed
	Clean street with mother (Preview) I have been keeping my side of the street clean with my mother, putting boundaries in place. When i told her about my ah wanting a divorce i told her i was going to take care of me first. Not either of my sisters or my mother(they all struggle with addictions/and or disfunction's) She said i would like you...	Mirandac	4	408	Jul 18, 2014 by Mirandac
	Broken spirit - broken heart (Preview) Well, I posted previously that my husband (addict) came back home (not officially together) after 7 months of separation and fresh out of rehab (for a month now) and found some gal to phone and text since he's been out. After I was made to feel guilty enough for my stiff-arm I eventually gave in and was...	sunrise2014	15	658	Jul 18, 2014 by milkwood
	Have a Good Friday (Preview) Hi Everyone I woke up this morning and I just didn't want to work today. It has been so stressful and I know I needed to go to work but I just called in sick. No I'm not sick but I don't care. If I didn't take this day off to be by myself and just veg out I don't what I would be like tonight. Did I do wrong yes but s...	Cathyinaz	5	420	Jul 18, 2014 by milkwood
	I made a promise to myself and I am sticking to it (Preview) I decided a few weeks ago that I would not discuss my AH at work anymore. This morning a coworker bluntly asked me if he and I were getting back together or not. I said "I'm sorry. I can't talk about him at work anymore, it's too distracting. I appreciate your concern. Thanks for asking." I have...	Newlife girl	10	535	Jul 18, 2014 by Breakingfree
	we are only human (Preview) A wonderful lady told me at an al anon meeting something that continues to stick with me - she said "We are only human".... and as simple as that statement is, it really stuck with me because she is so right. Sometimes I feel that because I may get angry or react in ways that I shouldn't with my a...	CarlyM123	4	420	Jul 18, 2014 by PP
	Do you have stress? (Preview) Yesterday I had a thermography done. This is at the doctor office I work at so know the tech. One side of my carodid artery (sp) was "hot". The tech asked, "Do you have stress in your life?" LOL! Na, not at all. Well, my job, of which I am the office manager, is very multi-tasking al...	blessed	0	339	Jul 18, 2014 by blessed
	Plannings and ramblings. (Preview) Well, there's a man coming to do our lawns. It's going to cost me big the first time but oh well. It's been over waist high for months, enough already. I cleaned the bathroom and threw away all of his beer cans and bottles and cigarette butts and the beard he shaved off and left all over the sink months ago t...	missmeliss	11	627	Jul 17, 2014 by tiredtonite
	I Made the Call (Preview) I go to the attorney tomorrow to start the divorce process. My (R)? AH and I talked on Sunday and I spoke straight from the heart and he did too. I feel like I have said everything that I needed him to hear and am starting to repeat myself so after he left, I decided that if I didn't hear from him by Monday afte...	wornoutmrsfixit	11	634	Jul 17, 2014 by tiredtonite
	I did it...but I'm miserable (Preview) Well...I made the 13.5 hour drive....and it took everything I had not to turn around after 3 hours...tears, heartache, misery... The night before he was drunk, but he said he couldn't take it anymore...asked me to go for a two week vacay, visit and come back...with my heart aching, my mouth said yes,...	watts	15	661	Jul 17, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Need help (Preview) My partner is an alcoholic. Ive known this since we started dating but she was in recovery when we first were together. She has been drinking a lot lately and I dont know what to do. Its been a nightmare since she started drinking again. I dont want to break up with her (which we almost did tonight) and...	CarlyM123	14	611	Jul 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	dont even know (Preview) struggling with my emotions.....my partner is 2 yrs sober and for that I am grateful. she has been working her program and for that I am grateful. we have been best friends for a little over 20 yrs with r ups and downs, but have been dating for about 3 yrs. when we first became friends I knew right away we wer...	cheekymonkee	6	457	Jul 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	Tools from Al-anon to deal with everyday life (Preview) Although I have only attended a few f2f meetings and reading the posts from this site for 3 months, I have picked up skills to deal with non - A people too! I have been working 14-16 hours a day for the last 3 weeks. There were deadlines and analysis was needed like 2 weeks ago. I was asked to take up this proj...	sunshine23	5	464	Jul 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	mind battles (Preview) Just want to share this before I go to sleep. I was thinking about alcoholism, and the battles we go through being friends,family, and partners of addicts. We lose the battle in our minds first before we lose it to something or someone else first. If we have made up our mind about something, then no matte...	giraffe13	3	277	Jul 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	No one even mentioned his name (Preview) and it didn't seem that anyone missed him or cared. We had a Yogurt Birthday party for my 10year old grandson (freaking delicious!!). My daughter and son-in-law were paying and I've been practicing liking freebies so I went...Wife was feeling spine sore so Its up to me right?? lol We all had fun c...	Jerry F	7	577	Jul 17, 2014 by Jerry F
	This is my first time here online and my first ever post, but I am in a really bad place (Preview) Hello everyone: I have been in a relationship with a man for what will be 4 years, TODAY... But, as usual with him lately, he stood me up last night as we had a date planned to go on after his "supposed meeting". He has been using for as long as I know, and even lots that i don't know of. He is hooke...	Talllady	11	608	Jul 17, 2014 by karma13
	I feel like I won another battle without even fighting (Preview) So yesterday H came home after a late shift...of course he had a few drinks. I was in the bedroom meditating, and he came in. Got ready to sleep and started asking questions AGAIN. - Are you ok? Are you sure? Do you want to tell me anything? Is there anything you want to talk about? Are you upset? Have a done s...	Luiza	12	641	Jul 17, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	I really suck and messed up (Preview) I was ok really, happy, enjoying things, then these things happened: My tenants shorted me money with out asking, money I needed for my last week before I get paid. (only get money once a month) left me stuck at home when I needed seriously to get to town. I texted my son as I really needed help. He never tex...	Debilyn	13	678	Jul 17, 2014 by bud
	venting (Preview) )c:< Today I decided to stop this behavior of hoping someone would call me. Stop waiting for my son to get back to me. I invited a supposed friend, on her terms it seems, to come out the end of this month. I wanted to decorate and make a yummy meal or go out. she writes back i migh...	Debilyn	15	675	Jul 17, 2014 by bud
	Question about chairing a meeting (Preview) At our meeting tonight no came to chair the meeting. I didn't know what to do, so I went ahead and started with all the usual al-anon speak, we chose step 1 as our topic and then I closed with the usual al-anon closing and prayer. I hope this was ok to do, I needed a meeting and the others did too. Not sure what t...	Flower49	3	428	Jul 17, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Revealing my ugly little secret (Preview) I broke down a wall today that I had been hiding behind for such a long time. I finally told my mom just how bad my husbands drinking has gotten. For so many years I did not want to admit this to anyone. Somehow I have felt that I carried part of the blame for this. I know now (through Al-Anon) that I'm not to b...	cloudyskies	4	444	Jul 17, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Derek Jeter and My Son (Preview) I watched the tribute video to Derek Jeter and the newscasts in the All Stars game. Our families lived in the same complex where I moved from my home state with my children who were both 8 and 6 at the time. Derek and my son are the same age. They played ball in the back yard. Both my kids and Derek played...	grateful2be	17	681	Jul 16, 2014 by grateful2be
	living In the present (Preview) Part of my dis-ease was the constant what ifs. The future terrified me before alanon. I couldnt live life or enjoy life as it happened, I was too busy worrying about tomorrow to take any notice of today. Just for today is becoming clearer to me. Its important to my happiness and positive thinking becau...	el-cee	11	1999	Jul 16, 2014 by blessed
	Wearing Blinders (Preview) I'm in a really bad place. My AH came home yesterday after being on a binge. He then proceeded to finally talk to me. He says he doesn't understand why he is choosing to drink. He says he thinks his life is boring without it. What a remark! I like boring. It means we can go on without the ups and downs of...	Hullibee	10	519	Jul 16, 2014 by blessed
	I couldn't really! (Preview) Keep my mouth shut in my relationship, because there were too many issues and behaviours that affected me, being part of a couple that made a pact to love one another in sickness and in health well I tried very hard too, I just missed the part where mutual was mentioned and there was very little of that. So...	Katy	2	294	Jul 16, 2014 by hotrod
	I will not.... (Preview) I will not reply to an email that came from someone that is sitting 6 feet away from me in a hotel room, asking where we should go to dinner. DO NOT REPLY DELETE For awhile I had him blocked, and his messages immediately went to trash. I guess I should set that up again. My AH won't talk to me but will send me tex...	blessed	19	728	Jul 16, 2014 by blessed
	Thank-you Kenny Fenderjazz!! (Preview) Well, my second attempt at the driving test is next week and the nerves are building again. So today, I took my daughter to get her ears pierced again (she wanted her nose pierced, as if, we settled for a second set of earings). On the way I admitted to her that i have always wanted to get my nose pierced but,...	missmeliss	22	607	Jul 16, 2014 by PP
	Running around like a chicken with his head cut off (Preview) called my AH tonight trying to help him understand the seriousness of us possibly losing our house soon. He says he is too busy and needs to go to hardware store. He always runs to the store right before it closes...racing there like a maniac. my AH said he would have a job by the end of June. No job. He suppo...	Newlife girl	4	450	Jul 16, 2014 by Newlife girl
	My RAH put himself on a weird diet and other sobriety questions (Preview) So, ever since my RAH quit drinking a few weeks ago, I've noticed that his diet is crazy weird. He will not eat what I cook, which I'm not sure if this is a passive aggressive thing towards me or if he's just not hungry for it or whatever (he's an A so I honestly don't ask). He had mentioned that he was trying...	andromeda	12	618	Jul 16, 2014 by andromeda
	To stay or to go? (Preview) Hi - I've an AW that has been in recovery now for 12 years and we've 2 kids. Over the years she's had bouts of depression that I've been drawn into but with the help of meetings I've been able to stay sane, however I only go to meetings at the darkest moments (I know I need to keep coming back). The last 6 months...	Sean_82	9	535	Jul 16, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	like a baby.. (Preview) The A is just laying in his room like a baby. I am utterly detatched and he knows I am seeking housing that does not include him. He isn't even drinking, and when he does get alcohol he has a few drinks, gets fuzzy and turns off his light and goes to sleep, for a good 16-18 hours. Der, he's extremely depressed...	missmeliss	17	731	Jul 15, 2014 by Talllady
	What the A does or does not do should not surprise us! (Preview) I came to this realization today when I told a close friend of mine that when she was suspicious today that her addict husband possibly" took something" yesterday....that she shouldn't be surprised because that's who he is! I told her I know my AH will drink again and when he does, it won't s...	Newlife girl	17	552	Jul 15, 2014 by blessed
	One Hour (Preview) Hi Everyone I have spent a hour here thinking should I post or not. OK I'm posting I'm in a rut. I'm scared, worried and tired of my life. The bad part is I won't do anything about it. I work many hours then when I do get home I just lay down and go to sleep. All weekend all I did was lay on the bed and watch...	Cathyinaz	10	901	Jul 15, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Question about detox (Preview) Hi all, My A and I got into an argument, and instead of talking it out he decided to go drink himself silly. That was last night. Today he has spent most of the day throwing up and sleeping on the bathroom floor, instead of taking his daughter out for her birthday like he had promised. His daughter and his mo...	KiaOra	10	830	Jul 15, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	We are finally going to get some rain. (Preview)	Cathyinaz	10	623	Jul 15, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Help me! Why won't my Mom leave him???!!!! (Preview) Ok, I am going to try and sum this up the quickest way I can. My mother has been with her alcoholic boyfreind for 20years. He is a monster. She goes to work, busts her hump and is the sole breadwinner. He does NOTHING, contributes NOTHING, and she allows him to control all of her finances! She forks her mone...	xeternalblossomx	3	485	Jul 15, 2014 by hotrod
	the alcoholic CAN be forced to get sober (Preview) Todays odat was a good one and I thought I would share parts of it with you. An aa who counsels families 'Yes, the alcoholic can be forced to get sober' the wife then goes on to list all the things shes tried over the years, threats, ultimatum, control etc. The aa person says 'that is you applying the force a...	el-cee	14	626	Jul 15, 2014 by PP
	Just so tired.. had enough of this (Preview) My partner hasn't drunk for over 10 years but nothing changes, I still have to deal with the bouts of depression, manipulation, resentment etc etc the mood of the our family home (we've two young kids) is governed by how she feels. My current frustration is that maybe 6 months ago I was happy, positive a...	Sean_82	14	798	Jul 15, 2014 by andromeda
	Feeling Useless (Preview) Well here I sit. Wondering where my alcoholic is drinking. He just texted and I didn't answer because I'm trying to stay detached. He texted again "F ....ing answer me. I replied and then asked the question "Where are you?" Of course I didn't really want to know. Now I do and I can't st...	Hullibee	8	379	Jul 15, 2014 by Hullibee
	Drunk in Love... (Preview) Hello everybody. I'm new here and I'm not really sure where to start... My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He is a really great man. Good to my son (from a previously relationship) and to my whole entire family. The problem is, he is an alcoholic. He tries to find every reason and every exc...	killling_me_softly	7	516	Jul 15, 2014 by glad
	New and finally reaching out (Preview) First off I would like to say Hi. I am the mother of a 25 yr old alcohol and drug addict. Being a mother that has watched this child go thru so many health issues as a child ( he was diagnosed with Crohns at the age of 11) I have this mother bear gut instinct that makes me want to try and fix all his problems. I h...	MindyC	11	651	Jul 15, 2014 by intoit
	Obviousy I still need support/ help! (Preview) My bf of a year who I am considering marrying soon had some mini strokes last week and was a patient in ICU. He has many adult children. One daughter announced her plan to bring her two teenage children from hundreds of miles away so that she could "take care of Daddy" which she has n...	glad	8	418	Jul 15, 2014 by el-cee
	New Meetings in Phuket, Thailand Phuket Thailand Chalong SE Asia Pattong meetings Al Anon (Preview) Hi there, I am just trying to spread the word that finally an Al Anon group has started in Phuket, Thailand. Our helpline number is 0925909845, or you can email us at alanonphuket AT gmail DOT com if you would like to join us. We especially welcome visitors who are willing to share their experience, stre...	AlAnonPhuket	2	8857	Jul 15, 2014 by AlAnonPhuket
	alcohol in the family…evolution. (Preview) ok, i need a discussion here. As i stepped out of an unhealthy relationship with an A, i now am back for some time in my country and family of origin. And I feel different. Bored, alone, awake and constantly in the need to step away, because they drink, and with the drink comes stupid, selfish, cold behavi...	tortuga	9	503	Jul 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	TGIM (Preview) Thank goodness it's Monday... I wonder if others with A partners feel this way: filled with relief that the weekend of togetherness and all that that entails is finally over and everyone's back to work and school on Monday. It's sad not to look forward to the weekend the way most people do, but I haven't...	NL14	4	579	Jul 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	Making a mess of things (Preview) Well, I went and put my foot into it, good and proper like. I was doing well, trying to do my own thing, take care of my own needs, all that jazz. I had been ignoring that he'd been drinking again, not my problem. I knew he was upset about something, but whatever. I just can't seem to leave things alone. ...	SpiderArcana	15	486	Jul 14, 2014 by blessed
	Husband's AA friend is female-----boundaries are broken (Preview) My husband has been an addict for 10+ years and our daughters and I have been through hell during that time. In April, he finally admitted himself into an inpatient program. Throughout that time I was enjoying the peace and serenity at home, and realized that I could never, ever sacrifice that again...	sunrise2014	16	1304	Jul 14, 2014 by pinkchip
	Didn't foresee this outcome (Preview) For the past several years as AH drank more and more and the hatred and distance grew I dreamed of being done with it all, now that I know it isn't all personal and he's sick and he has been trying to control his drinking it's so much harder to make the break. I feel like a yo-yo, one day/hour I am done and want...	Kerrymom	6	490	Jul 14, 2014 by Kerrymom
	Do I tell my family? (Preview) So, my husband has been an addict for 10+ years, and throughout that time I have never shared this with my family. His family is knows and provides him their support, but mine are in the dark. We separated when he went to treatment (which is how he hit bottom and ended up going), and now we seem to be livi...	sunrise2014	4	400	Jul 14, 2014 by hotrod
	Reversed roles and a slap in the face. (Preview) I can't believe I would be writing this here, but here I am. I am ashamed, but I feel I need to share. So, Saturday night, H was asleep, I was with daughter watching TV and decided to drink one can of beer (440ml). I drank very quickly, daughter went to sleep and I decided to get a second one. Finished the sec...	Luiza	19	936	Jul 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	Two days of tears (Preview) So, I'm still going through the motions...packing near completion...goodbyes being said...two days of tears...heart breaking... Friday I set up time for my son to meet up with his half sister (AHs daughter from previous marriage)...they spent the afternoon together having fun then at the end of...	watts	8	405	Jul 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	Stood up for myself and now I'm second guessing it! (Preview) I stood up for myself at work yesterday and now I'm second guessing myself. Where I work I do the payroll, budgeting, bill paying and scheduling and for a law enforcement facility. I'm supposed to get help from the two other clerical ople at work - but they refuse. So therefore over the years I have l...	slowlearner	8	644	Jul 13, 2014 by Kelly123
	Parental Alienation & Family Shunning (Preview) Hi, I am new to this forum, but not to the program as I am certain my family has had a connection to AA since 1935. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family of perfection. No one outside of the family knows there is an issue and those on the inside are not allowed to discuss or challenge it. As a result, I gr...	Lost Bird	7	640	Jul 13, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	motives (Preview) My sons new girlfriend has got a new house and he is moving in, they are like a family. She hasnt got much support from her own family but my family, wow, everyone is chipping in and helping out in all kinds of ways. Ive begun to question mine and my familys motives. Have we all jumped in to help through our ow...	el-cee	7	826	Jul 13, 2014 by PP
	Confused and in need of advice (Preview) My husband and I have been married for 7 years. He's always been a drinker, but I've never really seen him act drunk. I also remember being engaged to him and having taken a look in his medicine cabinet and thinking, wow. That's a lot of drugs. (He has back, neck, and knee pain, anxiety, depression, sleep...	kranjo	13	759	Jul 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	Was I wrong? (Preview) My AM asked me to get something for her & bring it upstairs..I got annoyed b/c I'm tired of enabeling her. But I feel like I can't tell her that b/c she will think it's about her drinking.. does that make sense or am I making something out of nothing? Was I wrong to get upset? Thank you for listening.	phoenixmagicgirl	6	444	Jul 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	On Turning 50 or higher/ using program tools (Preview) Hi ala-friends, Gonna be 50 this week--do u remember how that felt for you or were u going through too much other bigger disease stuff at that time--do these milestone birthdays always feel tough for you ( I know many of u have also seen 60 & 70 & 80 or higher)? --I am feeling emotional; I could u...	luv123	18	690	Jul 13, 2014 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.