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Perspectives ..
(Preview)
Something that Alanon has given me is the gift of discernment .. I can take what I like and leave the rest. I can choose when I need to take action or just wait. Before Alanon .. I used to feel I had to address EVERYTHING right then .. get an answer whatever .. now it's more like .. hmm .. is this the alcoholic...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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903
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Chaired a Meeting with Edna
(Preview)
I had the wonderful opportunity to co-host a meeting on this board last night. I had chaired one last week when no one came to chair it, but it was so nice last night to have someone teach me the ropes, I felt great about having the opportunity to do service work here. It just made my night :)
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Flower49
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8
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412
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Treatment
(Preview)
My husband went into treatment last week. I was able to visit with him the first few days. He sent a group email Friday night to his parents, brother and me that he does not want to communicate or have visitors until further notice. I feel sad that he doesn't want to talk to me. And I am hurt that he didn't sen...
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Jessiest1
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6
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665
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working the program
(Preview)
I finally was set to move on Friday to my new town and when I got to the apt it was a disaster. I was promised a downstairs updated unit and what I was given was an upstairs unit that was literally falling apart. The light fixture from the dining area was hanging on by one wire. The tub and sink were rusted the c...
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texasgal
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9
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536
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A surprise
(Preview)
I took my camera to one of the gardens in my yard to take a picture of a beautiful Tiger Lily I don't remember planting. Most of the blooms in my yard are medium sized, but this one is about twice the size of all the others. I wanted to capture it and maybe use it as my next avatar. I stood in front of the flowe...
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grateful2be
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20
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678
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If you have an A son...
(Preview)
Yeah...it's not pretty in the midst of it but thank god for my mom. She's been there for me through a lot. I don't know if she thought I would ever get my life together. This photo is one of the ones my sponsor took at the wedding. I really like it. Your sons love you even if they aren't in a good spot now or even...
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pinkchip
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15
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729
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It's not working for me
(Preview)
I'm not better I'm depressed can not find work I ran out of money no extra no help . I checked food pantry waiting list for that no places for me to get I to housing is full . Got no family no friends to help me .
My ex asked me to drop charges against him last week he said he would help me with money since he workin...
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Wisdom67
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14
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2364
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Sponsor
(Preview)
Although I am not new to this site, I am new to the forums. I am in desperate need of a sponsor. Right now my schedule is spread so thin I can't make it to f2f meetings. I am coming up on heavy schedule with college and having to take care of the home. I also am recovering from surgery. I need someone to help me wo...
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Tampa
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3
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481
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Ah staying at his mothers
(Preview)
My dry ah is living at his mothers while we separate. Saw him for 5 minutes tops to discuss money and he needs to sign agreement for our lawyer to represent me in the divorce. I told him he needed to find some time to talk this out. Instead of his usual 5 minute a day i get his attention. He is usually out saving...
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Mirandac
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9
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515
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Support for adult child recently out of rehab
(Preview)
43 year old son recently went back to his own home after 21 days of inpatient rehab. We financed the program but we also now have control over his income/bank account to handle all his finances until he has paid us back. He is divorced, without children and lives 150 miles away. It is difficult to suppo...
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Jeffs Mom
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13
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530
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Am I resisting or just confused
(Preview)
Hi all! Went to see my A on Saturday at the 1/2 way house. Visited with him about 2.5 hours. It was good. Talked with him yesterday and I was kind of weepy, feeling irritated, and just not really hopeful. Partially I think that is because there was a big picnic and he told me on Friday that I wouldn't like it s...
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Flower49
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15
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579
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Step 11
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58116328/alanon-step-11/
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hotrod
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3
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348
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This rope has a lot of ends
(Preview)
I've been re-reading a year's worth of journal entries. With a few exceptions, they're all like groundhog day. The number of times I said (about my AH) "I've finally snapped!", "I'm done," "I'm at the end of my rope," etc., would be funny if it weren't so sad. Every ti...
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NL14
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2
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393
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Relentless coworkers bugging me!
(Preview)
Thought I had coworkers under my al anon spell regarding boundaries when asking me about my AH. I guess not! Another coworker today asked me if we were divorcing after I already told her it was too hard for me to talk about him at work. He used to work at the same place so it's difficult! After she asked me ab...
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Newlife girl
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10
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625
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when in rome
(Preview)
Im getting on a plane today for the first time in years and im flying to italy. Im going to rome. Last night I had a bit of a panic attack about it, I got scared about flying, the coming out of my comfort zone, leaving my sons behind, wee bit of guilt, im going with my daughter for some mother, daughter time, a b...
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el-cee
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21
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985
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Update on my having left home
(Preview)
Well I am having good days and bad, and I can't help but think how painful it is leaving someone that hurts me so much and makes me feel anxious and fearful all of the time even though this feels like the right thing to do and even though I have taken way to long to have the courage to do it yes it still leaves me f...
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Katy
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6
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539
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I need to pull my finger out...
(Preview)
AH has been sleeping in the spare room for nearly two months. Day to day all is well and calm but I do find myself climbing the walls with the lack of emotional connection in my life. Its not new. It is really a long standing problem between us, and one that I ignored for a long time. Today I have tried to a...
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milkwood
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14
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573
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I am scared.
(Preview)
The atmosphere is unbearable, I am starting to shake. He is sober, he had something to drink but is sober and he is angry. He has been so passive aggressive, I hate it. I almost got sucked in the negativity twice but daughter is awake. I must control myself.
All because I refused sex last night and sugge...
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Luiza
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31
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841
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When is it time to leave?
(Preview)
If I follow these guidelines, it is time to leave. Hmmmm. Not so much the reasons to stay; but I could check off just about every one under, when to leave. Every day it is more clear that I am not as attractive as a bottle of vodka; and I won't compete with that, or anything or anybody. better, healthier go a...
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blessed
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7
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937
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Facing it
(Preview)
I have had a few bad days. I haven't posted because not sure if I can handle any more glaring facts of reality. I let my daughter help me look up phone records yesterday and found phone number on husbands account that he calls daily sometimes more. Daughter called number and a woman answered. I did not h...
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Hullibee
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7
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522
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making lists
(Preview)
I did a gratitude list, a to do for the house and property if we need to sell in the divorce, a fun things to do list, also who i saw or talked to that day. I am contacting people that have been very supportive of me and my Journey with my dry ah the last 11 years. Telling them what is going on and receiving grea...
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Mirandac
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8
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528
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Need some accountabilty
(Preview)
I am looking for someone from MIP to check in with me daily to make sure I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing with my program: am I reading, am I journaling, am I writing in my gratitude journal, am I getting to meetings and, if so, when? Am I watching my spending and sticking to a budget or being controlle...
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andromeda
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11
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554
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Update about work
(Preview)
I'm not sure if I've put boundaries in place or created walls where I work. It doesn't matter because I feel I was true to myself. I'm in transition to a new job in the workplace and finishing up bits and pieces of my old job. My former supervisor took me to lunch and thanked me for my work last week. They ar...
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tiredtonite
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13
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611
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Parking tickets .. AND visitation ..
(Preview)
So I have worked most of this stuff out I think .. LOL .. however I did want to share some of my own growth this past week. First off, I'm dealing with the dang truck AGAIN! My STBAX actually paid 2 of the 3 tickets .. considering that they were on MY personal credit report and his motto is just don't pay this...
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SerenityRUS
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14
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554
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Feeling very alone
(Preview)
I feel like, not only have a lost at love (again!), since my A-ex created so much chaos in our relationship that what we had was destroyed...I also feel like all of my friendships were destroyed. The one's that were created through our relationship were lost when we split, since most were a part of his l...
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LiveLaughLove
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8
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552
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upping the ante
(Preview)
AxBF thinks he has a good hand to play obviously. He really upped the ante this weekend. He posted some very awful pictures and said some very awful things, that he rationalizes as work related but were clearly to hurt me deep down. 1 of them dug up a trust issue we had with someone in 2010 .. He pulled th...
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giraffe13
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9
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744
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Just keep swimming....
(Preview)
Hi all, Just an update from me..it helps to put it down in writing too...So I'm here at my friends apartment wandering like a lost soul. Her, her daughter and her grandchildren are a great distraction from my own mind as they consistently force me to keep going through the motions of the day, as does my s...
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watts
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6
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527
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Don't know where I stand
(Preview)
I'm trying to apply alanon stools to sit. I get in like qtip quit taking it personal,my main problem is I take e erything way too personal,a bf has been trying to make things right between us but I have a bad habit of bringing up his affair he had I can't seem to put it behind me,I turn several things he says...
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lookingup
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7
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502
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update since my breakup
(Preview)
hello hello. Been awhile, I just wanted to post and share how I was doing since I broke up with my ABF in April. A few months went by and he called me 3 weeks ago to just see how I was doing. We ended up spending a two week period together, him helping me move into my new apt (where I am now very happy) and we went ca...
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giraffe13
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8
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598
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Why can't I accept drinking?
(Preview)
Someone from church found out from my kids that AH has moved out. Proceeded to ask my family why and guessed it was drinking because they saw him drunk twice at my place. My family member actually answered "yes"! The friend proceeded to say "you mean she cannot accept someone who drink...
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sunshine23
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7
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515
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Is this a threat?
(Preview)
Found this in my trash since I block all his emails; so I guess they go to trash. I sent a copy to his "sponsor". That is a joke as he lies to him and is working NO program. Just smoke & mirrors. I don't give my A access to online acts. as he is an A. He can walk in the bank with a check and take everyt...
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blessed
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10
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653
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Anxiety and Stressed !!
(Preview)
My son has been sentenced it's been over 2 weeks. I have written several letters but have not mailed any.. His is now off restriction but yet the thought of visiting him gives me anxiety.. I get depressed. He knows I love him. But his actions and poor choices has effected me and his little sister in so many...
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Gaby
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9
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446
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Removing the Privilege to drive
(Preview)
I have been dealing with my AH now for three years. He has had some counselling but now refuses to go as he feels he can quit on his own. He has done that, then starts up again. Of course he denies actually being an alcoholic - he says he has a "drinking problem" because of the way people treat h...
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Greenleaf
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13
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606
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Newbie - Feeling less alone
(Preview)
I am new here and am so glad I found this group. It seems that what I am feeling is so similar to others here - so conflicted. I have been married for a very long time to a husband who started out not to drink much at all. Like the frog in the kettle, I'm just not sure when or how he became so dependent on drinkin...
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pwcpw
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9
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716
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Attorney
(Preview)
My A has told me that on this date, this, that and the other is going to happen including, "I will buy you out and then you need to leave.", and it woudl be best if we just "did this ourselves instead of involing expensive attorneys." What that says to me is, "just trust me, even...
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blessed
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14
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725
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I think referring to alcoholism as a disease makes people feel obligated to stay with the alcoholic
(Preview)
I realize alcoholism is classified as a disease. But I have some issues with that word. The "cure" for alcoholism is abstinence. If the alcoholic chooses to drink, they are choosing not to utilize the cure. We have a choice to stick around and watch them destroy themselves or not. They may a...
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Newlife girl
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20
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738
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Judgemental Coworkers
(Preview)
I've had a rough day. As I transition at work, things are being turned over to me by a coworker who said some pretty awful things to me and whom I've ignored ever since. She's so cold in her way of communicating it's scary. One day I felt sorry for her because she sat alone after many from her department ha...
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tiredtonite
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8
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1079
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Where Are You?
(Preview)
Today was an intersting day. My son, departing for college in about a month, called from the mechanic. His car repair will exceed the value of the car, and not safe to drive to/from college to home (14 hours and 900 miles). So, car shopping we went. Right after work, we hit a few lots, did some test drives,...
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blessed
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13
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547
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Clean street with mother
(Preview)
I have been keeping my side of the street clean with my mother, putting boundaries in place. When i told her about my ah wanting a divorce i told her i was going to take care of me first. Not either of my sisters or my mother(they all struggle with addictions/and or disfunction's) She said i would like you...
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Mirandac
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4
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468
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Broken spirit - broken heart
(Preview)
Well, I posted previously that my husband (addict) came back home (not officially together) after 7 months of separation and fresh out of rehab (for a month now) and found some gal to phone and text since he's been out. After I was made to feel guilty enough for my stiff-arm I eventually gave in and was...
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sunrise2014
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15
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718
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Have a Good Friday
(Preview)
Hi Everyone I woke up this morning and I just didn't want to work today. It has been so stressful and I know I needed to go to work but I just called in sick. No I'm not sick but I don't care. If I didn't take this day off to be by myself and just veg out I don't what I would be like tonight. Did I do wrong yes but s...
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Cathyinaz
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5
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480
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I made a promise to myself and I am sticking to it
(Preview)
I decided a few weeks ago that I would not discuss my AH at work anymore. This morning a coworker bluntly asked me if he and I were getting back together or not. I said "I'm sorry. I can't talk about him at work anymore, it's too distracting. I appreciate your concern. Thanks for asking." I have...
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Newlife girl
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10
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597
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we are only human
(Preview)
A wonderful lady told me at an al anon meeting something that continues to stick with me - she said "We are only human".... and as simple as that statement is, it really stuck with me because she is so right. Sometimes I feel that because I may get angry or react in ways that I shouldn't with my a...
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CarlyM123
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4
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480
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Do you have stress?
(Preview)
Yesterday I had a thermography done. This is at the doctor office I work at so know the tech. One side of my carodid artery (sp) was "hot". The tech asked, "Do you have stress in your life?" LOL! Na, not at all. Well, my job, of which I am the office manager, is very multi-tasking al...
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blessed
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0
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396
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Plannings and ramblings.
(Preview)
Well, there's a man coming to do our lawns. It's going to cost me big the first time but oh well. It's been over waist high for months, enough already. I cleaned the bathroom and threw away all of his beer cans and bottles and cigarette butts and the beard he shaved off and left all over the sink months ago t...
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missmeliss
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11
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688
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I Made the Call
(Preview)
I go to the attorney tomorrow to start the divorce process. My (R)? AH and I talked on Sunday and I spoke straight from the heart and he did too. I feel like I have said everything that I needed him to hear and am starting to repeat myself so after he left, I decided that if I didn't hear from him by Monday afte...
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wornoutmrsfixit
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11
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693
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I did it...but I'm miserable
(Preview)
Well...I made the 13.5 hour drive....and it took everything I had not to turn around after 3 hours...tears, heartache, misery... The night before he was drunk, but he said he couldn't take it anymore...asked me to go for a two week vacay, visit and come back...with my heart aching, my mouth said yes,...
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watts
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15
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717
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Need help
(Preview)
My partner is an alcoholic. Ive known this since we started dating but she was in recovery when we first were together. She has been drinking a lot lately and I dont know what to do. Its been a nightmare since she started drinking again. I dont want to break up with her (which we almost did tonight) and...
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CarlyM123
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14
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681
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dont even know
(Preview)
struggling with my emotions.....my partner is 2 yrs sober and for that I am grateful. she has been working her program and for that I am grateful. we have been best friends for a little over 20 yrs with r ups and downs, but have been dating for about 3 yrs. when we first became friends I knew right away we wer...
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cheekymonkee
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6
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512
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Tools from Al-anon to deal with everyday life
(Preview)
Although I have only attended a few f2f meetings and reading the posts from this site for 3 months, I have picked up skills to deal with non - A people too! I have been working 14-16 hours a day for the last 3 weeks. There were deadlines and analysis was needed like 2 weeks ago. I was asked to take up this proj...
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sunshine23
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5
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526
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mind battles
(Preview)
Just want to share this before I go to sleep. I was thinking about alcoholism, and the battles we go through being friends,family, and partners of addicts. We lose the battle in our minds first before we lose it to something or someone else first. If we have made up our mind about something, then no matte...
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giraffe13
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3
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335
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No one even mentioned his name
(Preview)
and it didn't seem that anyone missed him or cared. We had a Yogurt Birthday party for my 10year old grandson (freaking delicious!!). My daughter and son-in-law were paying and I've been practicing liking freebies so I went...Wife was feeling spine sore so Its up to me right?? lol We all had fun c...
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Jerry F
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7
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639
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This is my first time here online and my first ever post, but I am in a really bad place
(Preview)
Hello everyone: I have been in a relationship with a man for what will be 4 years, TODAY... But, as usual with him lately, he stood me up last night as we had a date planned to go on after his "supposed meeting". He has been using for as long as I know, and even lots that i don't know of. He is hooke...
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Talllady
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11
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664
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I feel like I won another battle without even fighting
(Preview)
So yesterday H came home after a late shift...of course he had a few drinks. I was in the bedroom meditating, and he came in. Got ready to sleep and started asking questions AGAIN. - Are you ok? Are you sure? Do you want to tell me anything? Is there anything you want to talk about? Are you upset? Have a done s...
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Luiza
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12
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699
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I really suck and messed up
(Preview)
I was ok really, happy, enjoying things, then these things happened: My tenants shorted me money with out asking, money I needed for my last week before I get paid. (only get money once a month) left me stuck at home when I needed seriously to get to town. I texted my son as I really needed help. He never tex...
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Debilyn
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13
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737
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venting
(Preview)
  )c:< Today I decided to stop this behavior of hoping someone would call me. Stop waiting for my son to get back to me. I invited a supposed friend, on her terms it seems, to come out the end of this month. I wanted to decorate and make a yummy meal or go out. she writes back i migh...
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Debilyn
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15
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739
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Question about chairing a meeting
(Preview)
At our meeting tonight no came to chair the meeting. I didn't know what to do, so I went ahead and started with all the usual al-anon speak, we chose step 1 as our topic and then I closed with the usual al-anon closing and prayer. I hope this was ok to do, I needed a meeting and the others did too. Not sure what t...
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Flower49
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3
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492
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Revealing my ugly little secret
(Preview)
I broke down a wall today that I had been hiding behind for such a long time. I finally told my mom just how bad my husbands drinking has gotten. For so many years I did not want to admit this to anyone. Somehow I have felt that I carried part of the blame for this. I know now (through Al-Anon) that I'm not to b...
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cloudyskies
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4
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511
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Derek Jeter and My Son
(Preview)
I watched the tribute video to Derek Jeter and the newscasts in the All Stars game. Our families lived in the same complex where I moved from my home state with my children who were both 8 and 6 at the time. Derek and my son are the same age. They played ball in the back yard. Both my kids and Derek played...
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grateful2be
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17
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738
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living In the present
(Preview)
Part of my dis-ease was the constant what ifs. The future terrified me before alanon. I couldnt live life or enjoy life as it happened, I was too busy worrying about tomorrow to take any notice of today. Just for today is becoming clearer to me. Its important to my happiness and positive thinking becau...
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el-cee
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11
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2132
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