The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have being learning a lot over here however, I am not being able to attend any f2f meetings (work, studies, child) and can not do online ones either as I am not in the USA and I need to sleep!
I have "one day at a time" and "courage to change" books but haven't started reading it yet.
I am reading "Detachment: The Art of Letting Go While Living with an Alcoholic" at the moment.
So what do I actually should do? Should I start the other two books on my own and try and work the steps without a sponsor?
What is the role of a sponsor anyway?
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Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step.
I usually read the page of the day and pray and meditate on the reading. Sometimes I will call a alanon friend or they will call me and we will do a reading over the phone and then each of us discuss the reading. If I am having a problem with anger I will look in the back index...go to anger...and read readings on that subject..the same with detachment, acceptance, patience..other topics.
I don't recommend doing the steps alone, especially the fourth step. You will work the steps again and again throughout your life once you have completed them once. The role a sponsor plays in your life is a trusted equal friend who shares her/ his experience, strength and hope with you and work the steps with you. They should be someone you can tell anything to without them shaming you. They should love you unconditionally. In my opinion, A good sponsor should not attempt to fix you or give you advice. They should guide you and share their experience using I statements or encouragement. I also feel a good sponsor should share their own life with you, their slips, what's going on with them, share that they are human..not perfect...etc. I know my sponsor is a absolute Angel and I am so blessed she is in my life. She is all of the things I stated above.I know there are some people online that are willing to sponsor. Blessings on your recovery journey :)
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I needed these behaviors in my past they helped me survive I'm finding new and better ways to not just survive but thrive
Dear Luiza I am so happy that you a re finding the support that you need here at MIP, on line and am sorry you are unable to find additional support at meetings.
Alanon is a fellowship of equals, and the sponsor is a person that you feel that you can identify with and connect with on an intimate basis. The function of a sponsor is to guide you through the steps and the understanding of the principles of the program. You'll receive support, compassion, empathy from your sponsor and she will give suggestions only as to the type of program tools you can use in making decisions.
An Excellent way for you to utilize the books that you purchased is to begin each morning with the reading for that particular day. This has been suggested, if you're feeling angry,lonely , resentful, referred to the index in the book for guidance. Recite the serenity prayer often come here and sharing your thoughts
Im in the uk and at the weekend the meetings fit a bit better. On sunday you can catch a meeting here at 3.oopm uk time, I think saturday is the same, also, there is a steps forum here for when you are ready to work them.x
I can try and do online meetings on Friday night I guess, but I still can't work out the time I should be there over the meeting page...I checked google for time zones and everything, but I just can't get my head around it..
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Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step.
