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detachment and NON engaging
(Preview)
hey all this am I go to the "lion's den" and i am smiling, "good mornings" and i am holding my tendonitis arm and wife asks me "you hurt your arm???" I says, "yea, my grandson thinks i am a tree and i pick him up wrong and i pulled a tendon in my arm" (not lying...
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neshema2
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3
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362
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Hellooo
(Preview)
I'm at school today. I managed to negotiate an extra week now, by saying that I cant get the place emptied or cleaned unless I have a little extra time. So now I have to pay for it but it has eased the pressure a bit. So today I decided to come to class even though I have missed 2 weeks and haven't submitted any a...
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missmeliss
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10
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594
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HALT- Using my Al-Anon Toolbox
(Preview)
For some unknown reason, yesterday I felt like a dark cloud was hovering above me and following me throughout the day. It was just one of those days where I just had the blues, I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so down. When I got home from a long day at work, I started thinking about what might be causi...
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Green Eyes
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8
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962
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Returning to a classroom
(Preview)
More than a year ago, I posted a thread on a horrible experience I had had with an oral surgeon and the need to return to my dentist for more painful work on a molar the surgeon had broken while I was under and discovered later at home when the Novocain and sedatives wore off and I removed the gauze from my mou...
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grateful2be
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9
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525
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A new chapter or not?
(Preview)
My ex A has been trying really hard to make up for what happened the other week when he lost his temper. He even apologised to our grandson which shocked me. He didn't apologise to me because he thinks that if I didn't play into the drama it would not have turned into a melodrama. I don't buy that of course, a...
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rainbow
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8
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562
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Not my circus.
(Preview)
Messages from Mother today. It's not very good that I am "making" my daughter leave her school and all her friends, she needs stability. And do I realise she has to leave her youth group too, the poor kid, its so unfair for her and so on. The stuff about how she hopes I don't plan on staying ther...
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missmeliss
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10
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606
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Feeling Sad and Down and Alone. And I Rarely Have "Bad Days"
(Preview)
I've posted here before but it was once and has been quite some time ago. Just got back from a very short road trip to visit a new guy who lives two hours away. He's moving to LA in a few weeks. We're only friends at this point (2nd date, really) and I got back this morning after staying there for two nights....
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Tiff314
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5
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292
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ive been away too long
(Preview)
Hi all. . Im checking in and updating. Ive been away from here far too long. The summer went better than usual. . Nit sure why. . Ah is still drinkng as ever, i am not. Im still raising our daughter pretty much alone guess the biggest difference was the lack of fighting. Thats good and all but i think its bexa...
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Theoceancalls
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7
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387
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intro
(Preview)
New here, and as the name states, overwhelmed! in a relationship with my A for 4 years now. I guess as it stands I cant take any more. I've had it all: theft from me and my family, a refusal on his part to find work, complaints i don't trust him (ha) in and out of detox, rehab and courts. verbal abuse. blame for...
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overwhelmed1982
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4
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308
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you can teach old dogs new tricks
(Preview)
I am pleased to report some progress. Today my A was supposed to have a physical with her doc. She is at a life threatening weight and sleeps about 12-14 hrs per night whenever possible. (Could be the alcohol but she doesn't have a drinking problem.) She told me what time she planned to get up but did n...
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Lyne
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5
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495
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Praying hard!
(Preview)
So my brother is a recovered addict sober 1.5 years after 10 years of using he is 25. His drug use left him mentally disabled. This is my hugest loss. My brother is a shell of what he once was. He is bipolar psychotic now, and goes through long periods of psychosis where he can't handle much. My parent...
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Sam813
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12
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589
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Tomorrow, I see what lessons I learned
(Preview)
Hi alanoners Tomorrow I go back to the job where the boss thinks I am not a mom....I will go with a smile on my face...if wifey asks me what i did over weekend, i will proudly say i hung out w/my daughter and leave it at that..nothing more.......if the jerk says anything , I will say "i give respect and...
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neshema2
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4
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470
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Forgiveness
(Preview)
Today's C2C reading encourages us to forgive rather than to hang on to old hurts, bitterness, resentments. As I progressed in the program, I learned that I reinjured myself by nursing memories of things I'd done that hurt myself and others or what others had done in relationship to me. The actual ev...
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grateful2be
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32
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831
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I'M DIVORCED!!!!
(Preview)
I'm divorced, .. I'm divorced, .. I'm divorced .. I'm divorced and yes .. LOL .. It was seriously touch and go until the last second!!! Hugs S :)
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SerenityRUS
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21
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703
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Priceless Peace
(Preview)
Right now, in this moment and for the last few months I have lived in peace.My home is so quiet and peaceful, if you ignore the fact I live right next to a main road that is. I hope i haven't jinxed it. Just being able to relax and not be tense waiting on the next crisis to hit or the next argument to erupt. I have...
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el-cee
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6
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517
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A good and bad day
(Preview)
My day started off great I've started a class sorta like a 12 step class we as a group talk about and learn things dealing with the steps very enjoyable,now for the bad day part I had a slip I guess u might call it my xabf kept texting to come over and visit with my dog that he always loved so much,bad bad thing f...
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lookingup
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5
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368
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An Amends That Went Very, Very Sideways
(Preview)
Hello family!Have I got a story for you! Almost a week into the process of making her amends, my A fiancé finally made her way around to me. I didn't expect to be the first one she made amends to, but I was surprised that I wasn't, since I've been told you should do the amends you are most nervous about first,...
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Advocate_For_Steve
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13
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710
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Whats to like about Autumn?
(Preview)
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el-cee
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14
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543
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Am I unreasonable?
(Preview)
I'm new to this forum and I guess I need to get advice, ask if I'm crazy and maybe vent a little My husband of 7 years is a chronic binge drinker. He cannot enjoy a social situation without alcohol and when he starts drinking he can't stop...one glass quickly becomes 2 bottles and it's not slowly sipped, bu...
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Mich
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8
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545
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New and need help
(Preview)
Hello all... I'm not quite sure where to begin. My sister (38 years old) is an alcoholic. She was diagnosed with cirrhosis back in October 2011. She developed a very rare immune disease and almost lost her life. My parents lived out of town part time and I found myself taking my sister back and fort...
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kjfro21
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7
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480
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He is a WHOLE ..
(Preview)
LOT crazier than I realized .. I was concerned over a marital settlement I received from my atty on Monday evening. I am beyond the pail at the moment. I'm not sure who is worse .. him or his atty. Literally I got the settlement sent her back a WTH is this not so blatant .. LOL .. however she called me yeste...
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SerenityRUS
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6
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540
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Oh MY!!! I need to consider the source and let it go
(Preview)
I read a post from Ralph Marston and here is an excerpt that I needed to read "If you're constantly worried about how you appear to others, you won't appear in a very good light. It's ridiculously easy to let go of that worry when you remind yourself how useless and counterproductive it really is. ...
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neshema2
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24
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552
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Progress
(Preview)
So hard to believe that 3 years have gone by! It was around this time 3 years ago that I found this board and I was encouraged to get myself to a meeting! So glad I followed through on that suggestion! At that time I was newly married and I was struggling with some serious anger and resentment over the situat...
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Jackie11
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3
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398
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A little over 24 hours to go ..
(Preview)
And I just want to say thank you .. please keep the prayers coming because my STBAX is in desperate mode NOT to let go. He just wants to be tied to both myself and the kids it's completely weird to me. I don't know why .. well actually I think I do as long as he can blame me he can continue to remain where he is. ...
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SerenityRUS
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12
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508
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Cease cherishing opinions
(Preview)
This morning I was watching a short piece on what was an archeological find of a man's skeleton that is 9,000 years old on North American soil. After study of the skeleton, it appears this person came from somewhere in Asia by boat rather than on foot from another location higher up from Northern Ameri...
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grateful2be
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12
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623
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Boundaries
(Preview)
Can anyone recommend any good information on boundaries? (books or articles) I am very weak in this area and need some good information. Thanks!
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Fairlee
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2
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305
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know the drill
(Preview)
My A spouse is being very nice. She tells me she loves me and most of the time I can't answer back. She thinks because she is not drinking, at least not that I know of, that everything is fine. No matter how many times I tell her she is a train wreck waiting to happen, she doesn't get it, and maybe will never...
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Lyne
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3
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444
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Update
(Preview)
I am not sure the last time I was here; but the last month plus has been quite busy. A few times I tried to come on but couldn't get my password in and wasn't able to get a password help and was limited on time so gave up, then those days turned to weeks and the weeks..... At the end of August I left my A heading t...
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blessed
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5
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443
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Constantly Crying
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
I can't stop. It's been a week since he left me for other woman. I can't get past it. I cry all day and night. I'm trying to work but I can barely do that either. I'm a teacher and all I'm doing is crying. How can I teach like this? I can't or shouldn't. I wouldn't want my kid in a classroom with a crying te...
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Hullibee
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54
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1136
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His/Hers Recovery
(Preview)
Tens days in, and this has been really frickin' scary. A's non-drinking was going really well, no big cravings, some sweats, but overall better than expected. Then he started hallucinating. Minor, at first, but then it got so bad that he couldn't sleep. I never felt like I was in any danger, but it...
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SpiderArcana
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7
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596
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30 day chip and other blather
(Preview)
AH Called this week. He received his 30 day chip. My response wasn't supportive, nor was it non supportive. My feeling is that of the fact he's been a damn drunk for 12 years, and while yes, everyone must start somewhere, I cannot be proud of a 30 day sobriety. especially since I know it's because he's...
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Collateral Damage
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8
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9180
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New, need help. I keep finding hidden bottles of beer and liq. home, cars, now my son found one
(Preview)
Afternoon... I dont know what to do, my husband has a drinking problem, and I have tried everything. We go to church for a 12 step program ( we just started) he isnt drinking in the home with us. He is full of rage, but every day, and I mean every day I find small bottles hidden, and then I found a beer in his wor...
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Meehan512
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17
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644
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The wailing and wringing of hands...
(Preview)
Another rejected house application today. At this point I don't even understand why; the house was cheap, run down, I asked the agent if she could please give me an indication of why and she said...as they all keep saying "Oh I don't have that information. We just give the details to the landlord a...
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missmeliss
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32
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929
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Personal Responsibility .. (vent and some recovery stuff .. LOL)
(Preview)
It's kind of crazy right now and it's all hitting at the same time obviously .. I'm going to say it .. LOL .. 2 more days .. woot woot!!! I'm over the moon as this is the closest I have been to being free from the controlling chaos that has reigned and I allowed to reign over the last 17 years of my life. My daug...
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SerenityRUS
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7
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533
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I don't know where I am going...
(Preview)
But I sure know where I have been. I am a survivor. I have tools to deal w/ my anxiety. I am a winner not a loser. I have hope & serenity. I am not junk. People like me. I am a friend to some who really don't have any. People can count on me. No matter the weather you can let the sun shine in your life. I am in it fo...
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Hoot Nanny
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10
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777
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Hi Gang
(Preview)
Well how is everyone doing? I haven't been on a whole lot but I guess it's because I need a break or just don't have the ESH in me. My SO has decided to retire and will take over the complete care of the home, cars, shopping, laundry, yard and repairs. So far so good but he needs a little training in some a...
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Cathyinaz
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3
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571
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made another mistake
(Preview)
I made a mistake and now need to make corrections. I'm too stressed and it's too much pressure. This will be very difficult as I need to tell my boyfriend that I cannot continue as such. It was a nice relationship that started developing some stressful undertones and I'm uncomfortable with how it's...
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bud
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35
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854
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should I check up on him?
(Preview)
I expect the answer will be a resounding no. You might know from previous posts my son was drinking heavily from Nov last year. Long story short I'd not had much contact with him until recently. No evidence he was drinking since he did a sel detox in cJuly. No evidence he wasn't drinking either. I met him o...
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MCALANON
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15
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627
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Grieving the break up
(Preview)
It's been almost 4 months since I broke it off, and he is still trying to find ways to come back in my life, and a part of me misses him so much, I wish it could be a possibility, but i know it's not. I work in retail, and he just happened to "stop by". I inquired about his visit, silly me, and later tha...
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astallaslions
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8
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652
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Similarities...
(Preview)
Aloha my MIP family...just had to share a warp event from this morning. I have been taking an A/A (cross addicted) person to my morning AA by the Bay meetings both Saturday and Sunday versions. He doesn't have a whole lot of time; some and the desire and willingness. This morning just before I pick...
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Jerry F
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12
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425
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New Here, not sure how this works..
(Preview)
Hi, I came across this page when looking for information to help my brother. I know only he can help himself. Im not necessarily new to this whole realm of addictions. I have watched my sister in law suffer to the point of near death at 30 from alcoholism. My brother, this past year, has had a very fast decl...
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Loripop
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6
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494
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Good bye to an old friend
(Preview)
I told you guys in my "helloooo alanons" post about my neighbor being "zonked" by a tree the size of godzilla, branch broke off, dove through his roof and "parked itself" in his living room.....WHAT a mess and HP was watching over his mom b/c the place that tree landed...
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neshema2
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6
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542
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angry or sad, not too sure
(Preview)
I feel like ive reached another stage of my recovery. I have became aware that im still angry. I thought I had dealt with it because It passed after a few months in and I felt some compassion for the first time along with being able to forgive for the first time too. What I didnt realise was that I had only scr...
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el-cee
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15
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667
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I just have to say it ..
(Preview)
3 more days! Ok .. so realize this is the closest I have been to the end date .. now I can really see that the God of my understanding has moved every single atty out who hasn't been looking out for me. I really like this last gal and I think she understands how awful I have been treated throughout this proce...
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SerenityRUS
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3
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462
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Pls help me give lots of kudo's to Violet B. 1 year sober!
(Preview)
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John
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15
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793
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Gratitude challenge---Saturday
(Preview)
today I am grateful for: my good healthmy kids and g.kids are healthy and safemy needs are metit is chilly and cloudy out but I am warm and comfy in my "new" houseI am paying down that c/card...piece by piece....I have many folks who love me/like memy kitty is OK , sharing the other crate w/t...
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neshema2
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12
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543
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My Dad is dying
(Preview)
Hello everyone I am new to this board and am hoping you can help me in some way to come to terms with this. My Dad is 81 years old and probably an end stage alcoholic. He is also 90% deaf and has moderate dementia. If his dementia was more severe we could probably have him put int a complete care facility. As it...
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shaz
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18
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645
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Step 5
(Preview)
I am going out of town camping(like cloudy skies) on Monday until next Saturday. No tent but in a heated cabin I have posted a new Step 5 to the Step Board Please visit and share your thoughts. Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by b...
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hotrod
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7
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327
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New, scared, and overwhelmed
(Preview)
I am new here and have never done a message board before. My AH is spiraling out of control but does not think he needs help. He drinks and drives and has started experiencing black outs. Yesterday he showed up at my daughter's sporting event drunk. My other daughter (we have 4 children ages 17-12) w...
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momofjems
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21
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826
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Neighbor
(Preview)
I have a neighbor that lives next door to me our driveways are side by side she moved in several mths ago she is a recovering a she is in her late 30s and a beautiful young lady lately she im pretty sure is relapse ing big time she stopped her meetings and hanging with the same ppl her bf is a policeman that I've...
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lookingup
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4
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300
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progress
(Preview)
there's been a lot of love going around for mip lately and I want to add mine too. I've attended online meetings and one face to face. I have been gratefully bombarded with literature suggestions and read as much as I can. Yesterday I bought myself three bunches of flowers,just because I could and becau...
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aquamom23
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4
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380
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New beginnings it works if you work it.... hugs to all
(Preview)
I left my husband active alcoholic 2 years ago....dated him the last 6 months...and the only one who changed... was me... Thank you ALANON. Alanon was my life line, good friends and with hard work,attending meetings and participatingin this website I got strong and made good decisions for m...
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whispers
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12
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596
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Just dropped by to say HELLOOOO alanons
(Preview)
Hey Everyone!!!! Its been a busy 4 month or so.....things began to really change for me in July, early in the month... My daughter #2 called me and said "I miss my mommy" and I told her that I missed her too, but right is right..wrong is wrong and boundaries are sincere.....so we met in sorta b...
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neshema2
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15
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585
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Missed you all!
(Preview)
I sure have missed you all. I've been on a mini vacation with AH. We went camping and did some fishing. The dang fish weren't biting, though. But the river was absolutely beautiful and the weather was gorgeous. I was remembering a few months ago (almost 6 months). Had God not led me to Al-Anon, I'm not su...
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cloudyskies
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6
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274
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Never Ending Nightmare
(Preview)
I am sitting here with a gun and bullets on my dining room table that my son and I found in my recently relapsed, soon to be ex AH's house. He was being held in jail over the weekend for making threats of violence and death to me over the phone while in a drunken rage about a week ago. Since I filed for divorce...
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wornoutmrsfixit
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21
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769
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Remember I said...
(Preview)
Remember a few days ago I said, there was a guy who is advertising a room around the corner from me...he has "big ramshackle house with lots of character", a dog that is starving for another dog's company...and I said i just had a "feeling" about it? LOL well, we emailed back and f...
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missmeliss
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9
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594
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Loss due to addiction
(Preview)
Not really sure what I expect to gain from this... maybe just for someone to tell me I am not Crazy. My only sibling passed on Nov. 27 2013 at the age of 36 due to kidney and liver failure brought on by septic shock. Try as I might to help him, I knew he was the only one that could do what needed to be done. He went i...
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Chellelynn
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3
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821
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In need of some of your tales of experiences, strength and hope.
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I feel pretty low today. I woke up at 5am and couldn't sleep again. I have had really chronic tension in my body for over 4 years which has completely taken over my life and I seem to clench everything in my sleep (teeth, jaw, legs, stomach), and then the whole of the following day I am in such p...
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singingnick377
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10
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618
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Quitting my job
(Preview)
There... I've said it. I can hardly believe that in another month it will be two years since she passed away. I wanted to call my mom yesterday because it seems no one else could really understand what I'm going through at work. No one else will answer the phone with such delighted surprise because...
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tiredtonite
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15
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596
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Grandiosity and Mr Nice Guy
(Preview)
So, my AH has been on a Mr Perfect routine right now. Being really nice, doing things that go above and beyond, helping me with stuff he's never helped with before, etc. It's like he doesn't seem to understand that I'm done and that we're splitting up soon. He seems to be grasping at things which he thi...
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andromeda
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12
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725
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