Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have really been struggling obviously over the past week or so and just need extra prayers of support during this extremely difficult time. There have been a lot of good things to come out of it .. still it's very difficult to not get stuck in my fear and let my anxiety fly. I have a meeting with my atty o...

Luiza · Luiza

He has been quiet and keeping himself to himself lately, his moving out is all organised and he is agreeable with the separation. But I look at him and he looks so depressed and sad. It must be hard leaving the family home and not being able to see our daughter often. I am not backtracking, I know I gave him l...

Flower49 · Flower49

This is definitely a gross topic My AH called this morning pretty upset and said that the 1/2 way house and the 3/4 way house which sit next door to each other are infested with bed bugs and they were told not to tell anyone! He was upset because a few months ago he told me of the problem at the same houses and I...

lookingup · lookingup

These 2words scare the dinkins out of me for some reason I know I goes that I'm not immune to them from far.ive been studying on step one most f morning I didn't realize there was is so much to just that one step.very interesting indeed I know now that my life gets out of control with people which has made my l...

Flossy · Flossy

So it's been almost 3 months since my ex AH dropped me by text, no apology, nothing. Although for my part I know it's made things far easier and I'm grateful that he hasn't tried contacting me. When we would previously split he would relentlessly contact me, one minute pouring his heart out, the next b...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm learning a lot about sick ppl for sure I'm still sticking with step one caused I beleive that's where I'm stuck at for now or however long it takes me to fully understand it and grasp its meaning.im decided to stay single and not let myself get into another relationship for at least however long it tak...

el-cee · el-cee

... I will try to set my mind to being happy, like abraham lincoln. Ive been a miserable boot lately. Really busy, procrastinating like a pro but tired. so this is my morning attempt at setting up a happy mindset. Im grateful for... Crisp autumn weather. Central heating My grown kids being healthy, w...

Katy · Katy

Temple, I am starting a new post in light of what you picked up on my Just thinking thread, you were indeed the only one that picked up on my husband saying he doesn't use our washing machine, in my mind that felt like he was saying it's not my problem! So I am on holiday from work this week hence all my postin...

lookingup · lookingup

Xbf has tried everything from a-z and back agin texting over and over i gave him everything he had here holding nothing of his and with all the chaos I plum forgot to get my house key to my bottem locks on my house only key I had he started off with he was dieing wanted me to take him to er that didn't work then he...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have to admit now after a few years in program and making a lot of the changes, things have gotten a lot better, especially in my thinking. I used to just live in crisis mode and walk around freaking out. Now when it happens it throws me for a loop, even when it's not a full blown deal. So my boyfriend of 6 mo...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I'm tired of these questions. I don't know what he's going to do. I don't want to think about it. I don't know if he's going to get a job. I don't know if he's going to "straighten himself out now". I don't know if his brother is going to help him move. I don't know if he's going to get his old car fixe...

lookingup · lookingup

Flower from mip gave me a ph.no and web address for a place to call to get help for myself and to help me with the addict in my life and I lost it does anybody have this ph no.ty lu

KathieG · KathieG

I haven't been to a meeting since Febuary 2014 lots has happen and the two people that have tried to talk with me from my home group I really don't want to talk to. I can say this I'm not sure if I will go to meetings again. I became frustrated with the meetings that are around. I do go to an open AA speakers meet...

Flower49 · Flower49

I am feeling better these days in relation to my situation. I have to every day look at this realistically and be open minded. I of course was not happy that my AH now has up to 180 days he has to stay in a 3/4 way house, yet I am feeling more peace as we started our marriage counseling this week, I am allowed to d...

Newpaths · Newpaths

How did you find your sponsor, what did you look for, helpful tips

Katy · Katy

When your on the same page as someone they just so get you, sometimes just a look is enough for you to know they they understand, but when your not on the same page I know I am always trying to fight my corner explain myself reason with and I am talking about in relationship to my husband, I am soooooooooo no...

wp · wp

Tradition 12: Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities. Pages 63 and 64 in our alanon book, AL-ANON FAMILY GROUPS, offers more than one simple description of the power of this tradition. It offers more than we might t...

Fairlee · Fairlee

I am working on the first step, it has been like a huge weight has been lifted as I stop trying to control everything and everyone! admitting I am powerless against this horrible disease. I finally get that I can't fix this...for a control freak like myself, I cannot believe how empowering this feels! ...

Fairlee · Fairlee

BUT I did actually drive by this time...I'm getting closer! I just don't understand why I get paralyzed by fear when I get close to actually going!! It was crazy tbough...I drove by, there were TONS of people getting out of cars and heading to a building that had "AA" in the window. my garmin s...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Now Luiza suggested that her daughter might draw a picture of your animals and you Deb, so I am stealing her idea really but my daughter always asks me "what should I draw, mum?" and last night she texted me from my mum's house where she was staying "what can i draw" and I sent her a ph...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I didn't want to high jack the other thread about emotions so I started my own. i am on emotional overload. I cried all day yesterday. That is real hard for me to do. I am on antidepressant and haven't been able to cry for some time. I decreased my dosage. This is allowing me to feel more. I think it is g...

Newpaths · Newpaths

I joined Alanon in June, due to an up an down relationship, we're both seniors, both widowed, both raised in a alcoholic family, (we bith have the alcoholic patterns a) although neither of us drink but occasioally not much at that. God knows the situation, once again I'm torn on what to do. Ive given th...

rainbow · rainbow

The reality that my relationship with A is ending because he went too far and got violent is setting in. There's no chance of any healthy communication around this because he won't or isn't capable or just doesn't want to take any responsibility for what he did. So I'm feeling quite low this morning at t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

any more than we can handle. How long has it been since we have heard that message and how much longer that we wanted to completely believe and trust it. I have been quiet and listening with my eyes and ears. I have reviewed again and again the message before me and have come to understand that my Hig...

WanderingSoul2 · WanderingSoul2

Hello Everyone. I'm new here and I'm in hopes to find comfort and strength in this community. To share a bit of my story would take a lifetime I think, but in somewhat of a nutshell... I was with my ex (also my children's father) for 10 years. I met him in a bar when I was 21 years old. A few years down the road,...

Gaby · Gaby

This message was powerful to me: we trust other drivers while we are on the road these drivers maybe high or drunk. We trust the ups person that our package will get where we send it and it will arrive on time as they told us it would. We trust our bank that our money will be secured and the bankers will make no...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Hi everyone. I wanted to share a story about using Al anon tools. Yesterday I was having an argument with AH on the phone. Nothing new really. I was getting really upset and depressed. I had decided I wouldn't go to my divorce support group. my youngest daughter has been asking me to go swimming all summ...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

last weeks thought for peace in my life was,very few people could stay sane in your home. That really clicked for me. It gave me validation that the situation is crazy.my ah is most definitely an alcoholic. When we met,he was not one 24 hour period without alcohol in his system. Including our wedding da...

Need to update my profile · Wisdom67

Hello I need to update my profile information my main cp is not working and I don't have the link to set it up can anyone send me the link to the sign up page thank you

sookie · sookie

Just needing to be heard I guess. So tired of crying about my AH...who I am divorcing. The pain just comes in waves--I am fine some days, others I am a basket-case clinging to the shattered dream as it slips away. I see us both struggling and feeling confused, angry, sad...all these emotions at once. So o...

Luiza · Luiza

I have been reading on passive aggressive behaviour and oppositional defiance behaviour, since my daughter is watching (and learning) those from her dad. The memories of things he always did is flooding in, and I am stunned how I put up with so much crap for such a long time... Like when I got for free fr...

bud · bud

Hi Family, Just need to vent. My friend of over 15 years just landed her "dream" job that she's been wanting since I've known her. It is working in the school system. She asked me for urine for her drug test and I said no. I offered my friend practical options from my heart that she could req...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes I just feel like posting for no particular reason. I have only so many opportunities to post during the week. I just want to send some of our sunshine your way. I have a little extra up here. It is one of the most beautiful days because we have been having unusual high temps. The day is going well....

Lyne · Lyne

Hi. About nine months ago, when I was a newbie in alanon, I gave my spouse a threat-to either get involved with AA or OA or I was moving out of our bedroom. Well of course she does not have a drinking problem, that is in my head, but she cannot deny she has an eating problem as she is at a life-threatening wei...

missmeliss · missmeliss

This is not the first time that we have had a housing crisis brought on by A and his lack of finances/dislike of working/ chaos. In fact it is the 6th one I have been through with him. The first one, he was not living with me but was kicked out of his place and I helped him finance and move to a new place nearby. (...

nicola444 · nicola444

I have been married to my husband for 11 years and together for 15. Over the last two weeks I have realised that he is an alcoholic and that this combined with his masked depression has had a huge impact on us. I also realise I have been co-dependent and enabling this by not clearly setting the boundarie...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Last night I posted about AH finishing a school project too late on a school night. He ended up working on it after I brought daughter home. He left it at the house for us to pick up this morning before school. I was nervous about it possibly not being done. Well, he finished it and it brought tears to my eyes...

Jessmine · Jessmine

I came home and found AH drunk on his day off from work. Our 13 year old was also home from school only an hour before. Son was upstairs in his room. I just lost it when I saw AH. My anger was seething. We had a huge argument in the garage and I told him to leave. We are legally separated but he has been living with...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I watched an interview today with a celebrity who has been in recovery for many years. One of the things she said that really got my attention was that she learned that she couldn't get drunk enough or high enough not to know what she had really done and the shame of it. Three marriages that all ended for...

Toodles · Toodles

I too am so confused. My husband is a fantastic guy - when he doesn't drink. He has had several times where he just doesn't drink which is fantastic and then it starts again. I really care about him but the drinking makes me soooo angry! It feels that by the time I come home from work I might as well have s...

bud · bud

It feels like its not often that I can share something positive- and- I thought this may be helpful for when we're certain we're at the end of our rope, tied a knot and have been forever holding on. For those that dont know, Ive been estranged by my family of origin with the exception that I am, under limit...

lookingup · lookingup

I've texted my male friend off and on all day. It he only texted me one time early this morning answer my ? Of weather he could come by my place to have a cup of coffee he texted he was on his way to another town 40 mins away on an emergency call that he was on the road already so that being said I left it alone. It af...

alwaysLP13 · alwaysLP13

I am prefacing this post with some background. It's my first time here and I'm grateful this is here. I love Al-Anon and all the people in it. I've been in Al-Anon for over 2 years and it has been my saving grace and my key to peace. I'm learning to depend on my HP more. I'm working my program more. The most, I'...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

This is just a rant. Again. I am absolutely sick of AH and his procrastination. He is helping daughter with a school project. I asked him to help her with it 2 weeks ago. So, he is working on it at the last minute of course. Doesn't surprise me. He tells me "if worse comes to worse, she can turn it in the n...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Interesting how when I finally gave in and decided to make peace with the idea of going to my parents, other offers started to roll in. I declined the 2 potential job offers because I was going to be living hours away in a city where jobs would be relatively easy to find. I spoke to daughter's school about t...

vm54 · vm54

I've been trying to follow the list of Al Anon Do's and Don'ts and am unsure what to do in the current situation. My alcoholic daughter moved out of our house a little over 2 weeks ago, leaving her husband behind still living at our house. When she left she only took her backpack, dog, purse and a small pl...

Forgiveness82 · Forgiveness82

Hi all - I've posted on here before about an extremely unhealthy relationship I had with my ex who is an alcoholic. I did everything for him and he was still a sack of s*** (cheating, lies, whatever). Anyway, we broke up a while ago. He text me this morning about coming to see office space I had offered him b...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Really struck by my own feelings and how easily they can regress given the right triggers. Don't get me wrong, I'm moving forward and feeling a lot more positive about it now that a lot of the junk has been cleared from my house, and more options are opening up for me too. But over the weekend A went off to a...

pinkchip · pinkchip

This topic has been a big challenge for me in relationships and throughout the rest of my life. When I entered into recovery, it occurred to me that I had always settled for less than I wanted out of life. I settled for relationships that didn't work and that made me unhappy. I settled for jobs that wer...

kris4242 · kris4242

I am just beginning the process of getting myself to a better place with my decision to leave my AH. I think the most difficult thing I am having trouble with is I can't seem to step back from my anger. It's almost like I am justifying it to myself that I have every right to be angry after all that I have let my A...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Yesterday I started to talk to some one in line and they came right out and said I'm recovering alcholic . I said well nice to meet you thank you for being honest with me and your self . So since we had something in common already we started to talk about how alchol ruined our lives . Well he started to talk abo...

lookingup · lookingup

Ok now I'm going into what I call relationship withdraws and withdraws from being with a man I fell in love with and all the good times we had yrs of it to this nothing .wow what a roller coaster ride this time that I just jumped off from .i feel like I'm on the wagon like someone said my addictions are relatio...

JustLea · JustLea

I'm looking for inspiration, strength, something to get me headed in the right direction. I know all the right answers but actually following through is more difficult than it seems. I do not want to lose my husband but I also do not want to lose myself. I want to live my life, be happy, move ahead and...

Katy · Katy

I just pay too much attention to the time it's taking me to get it, not only that then I can forget I actually got it and thats where reminders come in, other peoples, I am sooooooooooooo hard on myself most times always wanting to be independent always wanting things to end on a good note, I forget I am only...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Had a surprisingly good day yesterday, just packing packing packing and purging...the garage is almost empty. It's hard to believe. We got all of the rubbish out in one gigantic trailer-load and I have to say throwing it all down into the pit was sooooo satisfying. Videos...like I'm ever going to wat...

Fairlee · Fairlee

hello! I'm Fairlee. Married 19 years to a great guy, if it wasn't for his alcohol addiction. He has been a heavy drinker as long as I have known him, but things are starting to progress in a very negative direction, affecting our livelihood (which he denies...we are self-employed, which makes his drin...

LiveLaughLove · LiveLaughLove

Note to self...NEVER assign a specific iPhone pre-loaded text/ring tone to your significant other. Ive learned my lesson-LOL. Although we split quite some time ago, it's amazing how I still react to this. I was in a meeting the other day and someone kept getting text message alerts with the same t...

Tricia911 · Tricia911

Please be there so you can help make a difference! Tricia

Debb · Debb

Thought I would start a separate topic of discussion instead of posing this onto someone's similar topic, do not want to take away from their discussion!! Was wondering about acceptance and disliking the situation at the same t...

Luiza · Luiza

Hi. Just wondering if alcoholism goes hand and hand with domestic abuse/name calling/harassement etc or this is down to the individual's personality? My STBXH's drinking bothers me a lot but if he was a quiet/passive/tame drunk I think I would stay in the relationship albeit unhappy. It is the lac...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Prayers please .. (Preview) I have really been struggling obviously over the past week or so and just need extra prayers of support during this extremely difficult time. There have been a lot of good things to come out of it .. still it's very difficult to not get stuck in my fear and let my anxiety fly. I have a meeting with my atty o...	SerenityRUS	17	418	Oct 10, 2014 by Jackie11
	Feeling so sorry for STBXA (Preview) He has been quiet and keeping himself to himself lately, his moving out is all organised and he is agreeable with the separation. But I look at him and he looks so depressed and sad. It must be hard leaving the family home and not being able to see our daughter often. I am not backtracking, I know I gave him l...	Luiza	13	519	Oct 10, 2014 by JustLea
	Bed Bugs (Preview) This is definitely a gross topic My AH called this morning pretty upset and said that the 1/2 way house and the 3/4 way house which sit next door to each other are infested with bed bugs and they were told not to tell anyone! He was upset because a few months ago he told me of the problem at the same houses and I...	Flower49	5	415	Oct 10, 2014 by Debilyn
	Relapse and slips I'm attending the step meeting tonight at 9pm can't wait excited here. (Preview) These 2words scare the dinkins out of me for some reason I know I goes that I'm not immune to them from far.ive been studying on step one most f morning I didn't realize there was is so much to just that one step.very interesting indeed I know now that my life gets out of control with people which has made my l...	lookingup	5	534	Oct 9, 2014 by PP
	Total disbelief! (Preview) So it's been almost 3 months since my ex AH dropped me by text, no apology, nothing. Although for my part I know it's made things far easier and I'm grateful that he hasn't tried contacting me. When we would previously split he would relentlessly contact me, one minute pouring his heart out, the next b...	Flossy	2	340	Oct 9, 2014 by Mattie
	Had a great meeting like always here in mip (Preview) I'm learning a lot about sick ppl for sure I'm still sticking with step one caused I beleive that's where I'm stuck at for now or however long it takes me to fully understand it and grasp its meaning.im decided to stay single and not let myself get into another relationship for at least however long it tak...	lookingup	6	308	Oct 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	just for today.... (Preview) ... I will try to set my mind to being happy, like abraham lincoln. Ive been a miserable boot lately. Really busy, procrastinating like a pro but tired. so this is my morning attempt at setting up a happy mindset. Im grateful for... Crisp autumn weather. Central heating My grown kids being healthy, w...	el-cee	10	511	Oct 9, 2014 by el-cee
	The things they say! (Preview) Temple, I am starting a new post in light of what you picked up on my Just thinking thread, you were indeed the only one that picked up on my husband saying he doesn't use our washing machine, in my mind that felt like he was saying it's not my problem! So I am on holiday from work this week hence all my postin...	Katy	8	442	Oct 9, 2014 by Katy
	Xbf trying to push (Preview) Xbf has tried everything from a-z and back agin texting over and over i gave him everything he had here holding nothing of his and with all the chaos I plum forgot to get my house key to my bottem locks on my house only key I had he started off with he was dieing wanted me to take him to er that didn't work then he...	lookingup	6	459	Oct 9, 2014 by lookingup
	Mini freak out with a great learning lesson with it (Preview) I have to admit now after a few years in program and making a lot of the changes, things have gotten a lot better, especially in my thinking. I used to just live in crisis mode and walk around freaking out. Now when it happens it throws me for a loop, even when it's not a full blown deal. So my boyfriend of 6 mo...	Breakingfree	7	489	Oct 9, 2014 by Breakingfree
	"What's A going to do? Where's A going to live?" (Preview) I'm tired of these questions. I don't know what he's going to do. I don't want to think about it. I don't know if he's going to get a job. I don't know if he's going to "straighten himself out now". I don't know if his brother is going to help him move. I don't know if he's going to get his old car fixe...	missmeliss	19	662	Oct 9, 2014 by Fairlee
	Just finished up nightly mip meeting (Preview) Flower from mip gave me a ph.no and web address for a place to call to get help for myself and to help me with the addict in my life and I lost it does anybody have this ph no.ty lu	lookingup	1	177	Oct 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	Haven't been 2 a meeting (Preview) I haven't been to a meeting since Febuary 2014 lots has happen and the two people that have tried to talk with me from my home group I really don't want to talk to. I can say this I'm not sure if I will go to meetings again. I became frustrated with the meetings that are around. I do go to an open AA speakers meet...	KathieG	1	196	Oct 8, 2014 by hotrod
	Acceptance (Preview) I am feeling better these days in relation to my situation. I have to every day look at this realistically and be open minded. I of course was not happy that my AH now has up to 180 days he has to stay in a 3/4 way house, yet I am feeling more peace as we started our marriage counseling this week, I am allowed to d...	Flower49	20	710	Oct 8, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Sponser (Preview) How did you find your sponsor, what did you look for, helpful tips	Newpaths	7	455	Oct 8, 2014 by Newpaths
	Just thinking! (Preview) When your on the same page as someone they just so get you, sometimes just a look is enough for you to know they they understand, but when your not on the same page I know I am always trying to fight my corner explain myself reason with and I am talking about in relationship to my husband, I am soooooooooo no...	Katy	16	508	Oct 8, 2014 by Jerry F
	TRADITION 12 (Preview) Tradition 12: Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities. Pages 63 and 64 in our alanon book, AL-ANON FAMILY GROUPS, offers more than one simple description of the power of this tradition. It offers more than we might t...	wp	2	210	Oct 8, 2014 by hotrod
	So it's been over a week with no "reacting" from me.... (Preview) I am working on the first step, it has been like a huge weight has been lifted as I stop trying to control everything and everyone! admitting I am powerless against this horrible disease. I finally get that I can't fix this...for a control freak like myself, I cannot believe how empowering this feels! ...	Fairlee	3	401	Oct 8, 2014 by aquamom23
	Ugh! I chickened out! (Al Anon meeting) (Preview) BUT I did actually drive by this time...I'm getting closer! I just don't understand why I get paralyzed by fear when I get close to actually going!! It was crazy tbough...I drove by, there were TONS of people getting out of cars and heading to a building that had "AA" in the window. my garmin s...	Fairlee	5	524	Oct 8, 2014 by NL14
	For Debylin!! (Preview) Now Luiza suggested that her daughter might draw a picture of your animals and you Deb, so I am stealing her idea really but my daughter always asks me "what should I draw, mum?" and last night she texted me from my mum's house where she was staying "what can i draw" and I sent her a ph...	missmeliss	16	621	Oct 8, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Grieving (Preview) I didn't want to high jack the other thread about emotions so I started my own. i am on emotional overload. I cried all day yesterday. That is real hard for me to do. I am on antidepressant and haven't been able to cry for some time. I decreased my dosage. This is allowing me to feel more. I think it is g...	Hullibee	38	999	Oct 8, 2014 by Hullibee
	Need prayers please (Preview) I joined Alanon in June, due to an up an down relationship, we're both seniors, both widowed, both raised in a alcoholic family, (we bith have the alcoholic patterns a) although neither of us drink but occasioally not much at that. God knows the situation, once again I'm torn on what to do. Ive given th...	Newpaths	14	528	Oct 8, 2014 by Newpaths
	My heart is broken (Preview) The reality that my relationship with A is ending because he went too far and got violent is setting in. There's no chance of any healthy communication around this because he won't or isn't capable or just doesn't want to take any responsibility for what he did. So I'm feeling quite low this morning at t...	rainbow	15	529	Oct 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	God doesn't give us (Preview) any more than we can handle. How long has it been since we have heard that message and how much longer that we wanted to completely believe and trust it. I have been quiet and listening with my eyes and ears. I have reviewed again and again the message before me and have come to understand that my Hig...	Jerry F	19	383	Oct 8, 2014 by PP
	New Member and regressing to my former life? (Preview) Hello Everyone. I'm new here and I'm in hopes to find comfort and strength in this community. To share a bit of my story would take a lifetime I think, but in somewhat of a nutshell... I was with my ex (also my children's father) for 10 years. I met him in a bar when I was 21 years old. A few years down the road,...	WanderingSoul2	10	460	Oct 8, 2014 by aquamom23
	TRUST !!! (Preview) This message was powerful to me: we trust other drivers while we are on the road these drivers maybe high or drunk. We trust the ups person that our package will get where we send it and it will arrive on time as they told us it would. We trust our bank that our money will be secured and the bankers will make no...	Gaby	9	423	Oct 7, 2014 by Newpaths
	I took the ice cold pool challenge! (Preview) Hi everyone. I wanted to share a story about using Al anon tools. Yesterday I was having an argument with AH on the phone. Nothing new really. I was getting really upset and depressed. I had decided I wouldn't go to my divorce support group. my youngest daughter has been asking me to go swimming all summ...	Newlife girl	4	295	Oct 7, 2014 by grateful2be
	a vent. (Preview) last weeks thought for peace in my life was,very few people could stay sane in your home. That really clicked for me. It gave me validation that the situation is crazy.my ah is most definitely an alcoholic. When we met,he was not one 24 hour period without alcohol in his system. Including our wedding da...	aquamom23	2	306	Oct 7, 2014 by aquamom23
	Need to update my profile (Preview) Hello I need to update my profile information my main cp is not working and I don't have the link to set it up can anyone send me the link to the sign up page thank you	Wisdom67	1	176	Oct 7, 2014 by hotrod
	Flooded with emotions... (Preview) Just needing to be heard I guess. So tired of crying about my AH...who I am divorcing. The pain just comes in waves--I am fine some days, others I am a basket-case clinging to the shattered dream as it slips away. I see us both struggling and feeling confused, angry, sad...all these emotions at once. So o...	sookie	9	526	Oct 7, 2014 by sookie
	Remembering STBX's P-A behaviours... (Preview) I have been reading on passive aggressive behaviour and oppositional defiance behaviour, since my daughter is watching (and learning) those from her dad. The memories of things he always did is flooding in, and I am stunned how I put up with so much crap for such a long time... Like when I got for free fr...	Luiza	4	392	Oct 7, 2014 by aquamom23
	Punished for not giving urine! :-( (Preview) Hi Family, Just need to vent. My friend of over 15 years just landed her "dream" job that she's been wanting since I've known her. It is working in the school system. She asked me for urine for her drug test and I said no. I offered my friend practical options from my heart that she could req...	bud	28	775	Oct 7, 2014 by grateful2be
	I just feel like posting... (Preview) Sometimes I just feel like posting for no particular reason. I have only so many opportunities to post during the week. I just want to send some of our sunshine your way. I have a little extra up here. It is one of the most beautiful days because we have been having unusual high temps. The day is going well....	Hoot Nanny	3	272	Oct 7, 2014 by Jill
	threats don't work (Preview) Hi. About nine months ago, when I was a newbie in alanon, I gave my spouse a threat-to either get involved with AA or OA or I was moving out of our bedroom. Well of course she does not have a drinking problem, that is in my head, but she cannot deny she has an eating problem as she is at a life-threatening wei...	Lyne	10	665	Oct 7, 2014 by milkwood
	A little hurt that I hope you can be gentle with.. (Preview) This is not the first time that we have had a housing crisis brought on by A and his lack of finances/dislike of working/ chaos. In fact it is the 6th one I have been through with him. The first one, he was not living with me but was kicked out of his place and I helped him finance and move to a new place nearby. (...	missmeliss	19	933	Oct 7, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Realising Husband is an Alcoholic (Preview) I have been married to my husband for 11 years and together for 15. Over the last two weeks I have realised that he is an alcoholic and that this combined with his masked depression has had a huge impact on us. I also realise I have been co-dependent and enabling this by not clearly setting the boundarie...	nicola444	3	366	Oct 7, 2014 by PP
	AH is quite the artist...and so is daughter (Preview) Last night I posted about AH finishing a school project too late on a school night. He ended up working on it after I brought daughter home. He left it at the house for us to pick up this morning before school. I was nervous about it possibly not being done. Well, he finished it and it brought tears to my eyes...	Newlife girl	14	1141	Oct 7, 2014 by Newlife girl
	So sorry I didn't use my al anon tools... (Preview) I came home and found AH drunk on his day off from work. Our 13 year old was also home from school only an hour before. Son was upstairs in his room. I just lost it when I saw AH. My anger was seething. We had a huge argument in the garage and I told him to leave. We are legally separated but he has been living with...	Jessmine	11	563	Oct 7, 2014 by grateful2be
	No drunk enough or high enough to not know what you have done - a story of hope ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I watched an interview today with a celebrity who has been in recovery for many years. One of the things she said that really got my attention was that she learned that she couldn't get drunk enough or high enough not to know what she had really done and the shame of it. Three marriages that all ended for...	grateful2be	46	982	Oct 7, 2014 by grateful2be
	Is it possible to work thru the anger and frustration and stay with the alcoholic? (Preview) I too am so confused. My husband is a fantastic guy - when he doesn't drink. He has had several times where he just doesn't drink which is fantastic and then it starts again. I really care about him but the drinking makes me soooo angry! It feels that by the time I come home from work I might as well have s...	Toodles	14	538	Oct 6, 2014 by Seahorse7
	Working Acceptance (Preview) It feels like its not often that I can share something positive- and- I thought this may be helpful for when we're certain we're at the end of our rope, tied a knot and have been forever holding on. For those that dont know, Ive been estranged by my family of origin with the exception that I am, under limit...	bud	6	431	Oct 6, 2014 by hotrod
	My friend works alot (Preview) I've texted my male friend off and on all day. It he only texted me one time early this morning answer my ? Of weather he could come by my place to have a cup of coffee he texted he was on his way to another town 40 mins away on an emergency call that he was on the road already so that being said I left it alone. It af...	lookingup	18	666	Oct 6, 2014 by pinkchip
	Said what I meant but didn't say it mean (Preview) I am prefacing this post with some background. It's my first time here and I'm grateful this is here. I love Al-Anon and all the people in it. I've been in Al-Anon for over 2 years and it has been my saving grace and my key to peace. I'm learning to depend on my HP more. I'm working my program more. The most, I'...	alwaysLP13	6	531	Oct 6, 2014 by PP
	Procrastination and justification (Preview) This is just a rant. Again. I am absolutely sick of AH and his procrastination. He is helping daughter with a school project. I asked him to help her with it 2 weeks ago. So, he is working on it at the last minute of course. Doesn't surprise me. He tells me "if worse comes to worse, she can turn it in the n...	Newlife girl	31	1066	Oct 6, 2014 by Temple
	Suddenly spoiled for choice.... (Preview) Interesting how when I finally gave in and decided to make peace with the idea of going to my parents, other offers started to roll in. I declined the 2 potential job offers because I was going to be living hours away in a city where jobs would be relatively easy to find. I spoke to daughter's school about t...	missmeliss	8	400	Oct 6, 2014 by Luiza
	Trying to Follow Al Anon Rules (Preview) I've been trying to follow the list of Al Anon Do's and Don'ts and am unsure what to do in the current situation. My alcoholic daughter moved out of our house a little over 2 weeks ago, leaving her husband behind still living at our house. When she left she only took her backpack, dog, purse and a small pl...	vm54	1	353	Oct 6, 2014 by grateful2be
	I jumped right up. (Preview) Hi all - I've posted on here before about an extremely unhealthy relationship I had with my ex who is an alcoholic. I did everything for him and he was still a sack of s*** (cheating, lies, whatever). Anyway, we broke up a while ago. He text me this morning about coming to see office space I had offered him b...	Forgiveness82	2	268	Oct 6, 2014 by hotrod
	Watching my codependence swing into action.. (Preview) Really struck by my own feelings and how easily they can regress given the right triggers. Don't get me wrong, I'm moving forward and feeling a lot more positive about it now that a lot of the junk has been cleared from my house, and more options are opening up for me too. But over the weekend A went off to a...	missmeliss	5	426	Oct 6, 2014 by el-cee
	Settling (Preview) This topic has been a big challenge for me in relationships and throughout the rest of my life. When I entered into recovery, it occurred to me that I had always settled for less than I wanted out of life. I settled for relationships that didn't work and that made me unhappy. I settled for jobs that wer...	pinkchip	23	730	Oct 6, 2014 by ClearTheFog
	How do I get a handle on anger and resentment? (Preview) I am just beginning the process of getting myself to a better place with my decision to leave my AH. I think the most difficult thing I am having trouble with is I can't seem to step back from my anger. It's almost like I am justifying it to myself that I have every right to be angry after all that I have let my A...	kris4242	7	749	Oct 6, 2014 by grateful2be
	Yesterday I had answers today none. (Preview) Yesterday I started to talk to some one in line and they came right out and said I'm recovering alcholic . I said well nice to meet you thank you for being honest with me and your self . So since we had something in common already we started to talk about how alchol ruined our lives . Well he started to talk abo...	Wisdom67	5	470	Oct 6, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Withdraws (Preview) Ok now I'm going into what I call relationship withdraws and withdraws from being with a man I fell in love with and all the good times we had yrs of it to this nothing .wow what a roller coaster ride this time that I just jumped off from .i feel like I'm on the wagon like someone said my addictions are relatio...	lookingup	7	402	Oct 6, 2014 by lookingup
	Need suggestions. (Preview) I'm looking for inspiration, strength, something to get me headed in the right direction. I know all the right answers but actually following through is more difficult than it seems. I do not want to lose my husband but I also do not want to lose myself. I want to live my life, be happy, move ahead and...	JustLea	5	301	Oct 5, 2014 by Addie L
	I have a problem with time limits! (Preview) I just pay too much attention to the time it's taking me to get it, not only that then I can forget I actually got it and thats where reminders come in, other peoples, I am sooooooooooooo hard on myself most times always wanting to be independent always wanting things to end on a good note, I forget I am only...	Katy	4	436	Oct 5, 2014 by cloudyskies
	The purge. (Preview) Had a surprisingly good day yesterday, just packing packing packing and purging...the garage is almost empty. It's hard to believe. We got all of the rubbish out in one gigantic trailer-load and I have to say throwing it all down into the pit was sooooo satisfying. Videos...like I'm ever going to wat...	missmeliss	6	373	Oct 5, 2014 by Newlife girl
	hi! I'm new :) (Preview) hello! I'm Fairlee. Married 19 years to a great guy, if it wasn't for his alcohol addiction. He has been a heavy drinker as long as I have known him, but things are starting to progress in a very negative direction, affecting our livelihood (which he denies...we are self-employed, which makes his drin...	Fairlee	9	647	Oct 5, 2014 by LiveLaughLove
	Sharing an eye-opening suggestion... (Preview) Note to self...NEVER assign a specific iPhone pre-loaded text/ring tone to your significant other. Ive learned my lesson-LOL. Although we split quite some time ago, it's amazing how I still react to this. I was in a meeting the other day and someone kept getting text message alerts with the same t...	LiveLaughLove	5	378	Oct 5, 2014 by LiveLaughLove
	Business Meeting tonight to follow regular meeting (Preview) Please be there so you can help make a difference! Tricia	Tricia911	1	216	Oct 5, 2014 by grateful2be
	Dislike vs Acceptance (Preview) Thought I would start a separate topic of discussion instead of posing this onto someone's similar topic, do not want to take away from their discussion!! Was wondering about acceptance and disliking the situation at the same t...	Debb	12	612	Oct 5, 2014 by grateful2be
	Alcoholism and domestic abuse (Preview) Hi. Just wondering if alcoholism goes hand and hand with domestic abuse/name calling/harassement etc or this is down to the individual's personality? My STBXH's drinking bothers me a lot but if he was a quiet/passive/tame drunk I think I would stay in the relationship albeit unhappy. It is the lac...	Luiza	9	645	Oct 5, 2014 by grateful2be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.