The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
When your on the same page as someone they just so get you, sometimes just a look is enough for you to know they they understand, but when your not on the same page I know I am always trying to fight my corner explain myself reason with and I am talking about in relationship to my husband, I am soooooooooo not alright in this relationship he says he is but I don't feel it, so my washing machine has packed up, I love fiddling so it's been in the middle of our small kitchen floor a few days now in bits, husband and son have both walked around it as if thats normal lol I suppose it is in this house, so I got up early this am and have an idea it could be the capasitor and I need to find the circuit board to see if one is blown and domed, I have my tiger suit onesy on and am looking in the back of the machine with my torch, when my husband gets up for work and says there is a light flashing on his car dash board, there is always something isn't there? bye!
It would just be so lovely if he would just say what shall we do about the washing machine, when I mentioned it earlier he replied well I never use it!
And then I was thinking how hard and serious we take our marriages to try and fix them and the lengths we go to, my husband is probably quite right he is ok, and if I am not then it's my job to fix me, I had a few new boundaries when I came back home and I have stuck to one big one, i feel uncomfortable consequences from this one but I have learnt here that sometimes it just has to be that way to teach me so that I can grow.
I am just having a coffee now and then I need to go google.
Morning Katy
I commend your strong spirit. My late husband fixed everything even as his illness worsened he did the best he could, however he was physically, emotionally an at times sexually abusive., He been gone 4 years an it's taken me that long to appreciate his wonderful qualities an forgive his tormented soul. I ve had to learn to do many things on my own. At times I'm not sure what we're suppose to learn from these type of situations. So I part with comforting prayers as well as to receive the knowledge to fix your washer. Here's wishing we both find Joy in this new day. Sue
OMG I did it, I mended the washing machine for 58p, I have googled solid for a few days now and I have to think inbetween and sleep on things to understand them, I really learn better in pictures so images are a godsend to me, as are mobile phones with cameras to take before pictures for reference to help put things back together, I had to purchase a new capasitor a teeniweenie thing with two prongs that I had to solder into the place of the blown one, the hardest part was getting the old solder out and snapped off pins, there were various methods and other tools to make the job easier but I don't have them so I just melted new solder onto the old and I was able to clear the holes to make way for the new capistor, jees respect to welders cripes it was fiddly but I did it, then it was a huge deep breath and power on, I expected a big bang but no, lights arn't flashing and when start button was pressed whoop whoop it worked, the washing machine said yes, my real name is annette, I get called all sorts netty internet, netty spagettie, nettle petal, well today I am calling myself netfix, GET IN! x
Annette! My hat's off to you, sister. When you put your mind to something, you just don't quit until you get it done! Wow! I would have tried to fix it myself and then either had to purchase it new or pay a fortune to somebody to repair the original problem and all the damage I did trying to fix it. You have a real talent for this kind of thing. I love how you went to bed with it on your mind and saw things you might do to remedy the situation with the washer.
I also love how you see that although your husband is okay with things as they are, you are not and it is you then who must make the changes right for you.
On the subject of your washing machine in the kitchen with parts about as if it was normal - I laughed. Then I read that your husband and son walked around it as if there was no problem for them with the washer in the kitchen and you working on it there. There, for me, was an example of acceptance of something that may not be usual in other people's homes and yet it is something that is occurring in yours. To me, the slogan "How Important Is It?" comes to my mind. I don't see its really important that your washer is in the kitchen where you can better work on it. I do see that it is important that what looks to me is a real talent and skill of yours is apparent and accepted by your husband and your son.
Lol Greatful my husband and son know when I am on one lol to keep well clear, more often than not I cause even more damage then need help putting stuff all back together or simply have the exspense of replacing my handy work, in the past alot of my mistakes are because I have had no patience to wait and think on stuff so I have got alot wrong in the past, I was just saying to son I am soooooooo shocked when things work it's like an anti climax lol so what now I didn't think I could do it that quick, I said have you got anything needs fixing lol,
lol about normal things in our house, once I got so fed up of complaining about the bathroom mirror being splashed up, I decided to stop ceaning it, I came home one day and husband had just wiped a strip across enough for him to see to shave, had lol
As Louise Hay has been quoted to say: "There are a thousand different ways to do the same thing." Grateful says: "And some of those ways are funnier than others." Love that he just wiped enough so he could shave. Oh, my. We are funny people, aren't we? I love that you did choose to think through the challenge with your washer and were able to fix it.
I'm also glad to know that I am not the only person who has tried her hand at something and botched it. My former assistant used to shudder when it looked like I was going to approach her computer for something. I'm not known for my computer expertise. I was known by her as the one who worked at her computer on occasion and according to her "did something to it." I did learn how to do things with computers, however, that even she couldn't figure out and she was our office "key operator" for our electronics and much more patient than I with computer stuff. I got better and she shuddered less. She really was much better at it than me though. And I was better at things than she. We just had to figure out what those things were and then stand back to let the other "do their thing."
I'm still very impressed with you fixing a washer, Katie. And I love that you found a workshop that worked for you in the fixing of it. Kitchens supposedly are seen to be the center of family life. Apparently, it is also the center of fixing things at your house? :^)
That is extremely impressive. You should be proud of yourself. Soldering in tight places, doing research, logically troubleshooting the problem. I am an electronics engineer, and I have a few technicians that report to me, and I'm not sure all of them could do that!! If you were willing to emigrate to middle of the US I could get you a job!
Lol thankyou all, I don't make house calls jill, but I am hungry for another challenge, my friends pond pump has stopped working now so thats the next project on the horizon, Kenny I am looking for another job or career change, but would GOOGLE be accepted as my tutor, I had a problem with my car audio the other week when the battery went flat and I had no code to get it playing again, I spent two days putting every concievable code in I could find and eventually cracked and called a dealer who said oh yes it needs re programming it will cost 70 pounds and I will need it a good hour, I still wouldn't give up and eventually found the sequence and code to boot it up, oh the feeling of yay, katy takes a bow, i did how ever a very long time ago take my new suzuki gt 50 to bits to beable to carry it up a flight of stairs during winter and couldn't put it back together again, I was a young pup then though, I know this isn't really alanon but it kind of is, I am and have always been very set in my ways and afraid to do anything any different, I am asking myself these days what am I scared of ? and what harm would it do me to try something different? so I am trying!
Al-Anon is about growing, Katy. It isn't chiefly about alcoholism to me. If I had to keep my attention plastered only on the disease, I'd go crazy because the disease and how it affects us is crazy-making. I love reading ways folks have done things, what they've discovered, what they can do and I am even more impressed now with the facts that you got a car radio back up and running and doing new things that you've been scared to try. Sure sounds like Al-Anon promises to me coming true?
-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 8th of October 2014 12:31:26 PM
Most of the time a bit of talent and a lot of perseverance is better than a degree Katy! Edison said that invention is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. I find troubleshooting to be somewhat the opposite, but there is a lot of perseverance involved in both!
Katy said: "when I mentioned it earlier he replied well I never use it!"
I have only read the first post on here, Katy and I am posting this in case somebody else said the exact thing later, at least I chimed in:
Oh, and bless his little heart he would find out so fast the natural consequence when somebody else doesn't use the bloody thing in your behalf, either. If I were sleeping with him I'd only wash my half of the sheets, if I could figure a way.
When the child was in morning Kindergarten and I was sewing most of her clothes and mine and ironing his white shirts and rotating breakfasts, and really being little Nancy housewife, husband came in one day and remarked that if he were keeping house, he'd get it all done in 2 hours and then go play golf. I told a friend in front of him later that after that day I vowed to never spend more than 2 hours on it, either. He, who never admits to having been wrong, has actually admitted that perhaps he was talking when he might better have been listening when he said that.
And of course, take the high road and not as say, if you like. I'm the one who used to listen to the sweet women talk about waiting by the kitchen door for AH to come home and eat the dinner that had been kept warm for hours. And me thinking, am I the only one who'd 've pitched it out on the back yard after one hour, tops? I know I've told this story before. One really does not like to feel as if she is an alien, even if she probably is.
You're awesome.
Temple
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
LOL, Temple! Katy - you bring out the best in others, too. Look at all the great feedback you've received from all your sisters and your brother who has even offered you a job!!!!
If I was where you are at Katy I would definitely want to hang with you...You can keep the "fixer" shingle outside...I just love to investigate and find and fix stuff before others get their hands on it. Course I do have boundaries and I will at times keep the tool boxes in the cabinet and pay the fee and not often. Love this post...was getting into it with you. You did the right thing...hot new solder will liquefy the old and cause it to run. Big Yay for Katy. ((((hugs))))
. I knew you could do it.