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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> In need of some of your tales of experiences, strength and hope.
Post Info TOPIC: In need of some of your tales of experiences, strength and hope.
singingnick377


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In need of some of your tales of experiences, strength and hope.
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Hi Everyone,

 

I feel pretty low today. I woke up at 5am and couldn't sleep again. I have had really chronic tension in my body for over 4 years which has completely taken over my life and I seem to clench everything in my sleep (teeth, jaw, legs, stomach), and then the whole of the following day I am in such pain and discomfort. This all feels like a nightmare that will never end. Has anybody else had this kind of thing? I am doing what I can to heal myself. Al anon, yoga, some meditation, qi gong and I see an osteopath. I don't know if I am getting better or not. All I know is that right now this feels totally unmanageable. I have come to the conclusion that it's emotions that have been held in from my abusive childhood where I just wasn't able to be who I was. So many issues are going through my system and it's feels really quite emotionally painful too. Facing things that happened in the past rather than running away from them but it all leaves me feeling pretty alone. I live in a foreign country, just said goodbye to a really good friend who is going back to Canada and it leaves me again feeling like I am on my own and noone cares/I don't really matter to anyone. I know I have to matter to myself and it's about nurturing myself and being the one to care etc....and sometimes I do that and do it really well and others days I don't feel strong enough. Just being able to have a voice on here helps. I was never really listened to as a child and always felt like I was invisible and it's hard to change patterns from unhealthy to healthy so having the chance to share on here helps. Anyone with any wonderful words of programme advice to help me out today?



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Nicola Mills
Newpaths


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Hi,

li also came from an abusive childhood as well as an abusive 35 year marriage, widowed

4 years ago.  it wasn't long before I realized I was once again in a similar 3 yr relationship almist married.

the stess triggered a copd exasperation I just wasn't recoverying from.  I'm still in a polmunary 

rehab program an I joined Alanon.  My spirit is slowly healing an Im regaining my physical stamina 

copd under control.  

I've learned there are still ups an downs. With the tools I was learning in Alanon I agreed

to give the relationship one more try, if  we both worked on our spiritual needs thru alanon an church.

One last thing we had to have complete HONESTY.  I thought we were doing pretty good, to make a

long story short, I accidently discovered he was still active  on a dating site.  When I confronted him,

he was angry I caught him said the only way he would ever be faithful was if I married him so he could

retire. I told him that would never happen either one. At least he was honest. I felt like a fool trusting him again.

So i begin reaching out to my higher power like I'm drowning. plus I find this board, an post my heartbreak

Asking for prayer  The first person that responses offers her prayers then encourages me to

first an formost take care of myself (I could hardly believe she had the same exact name as the unfaithful offender)  

I Truly saw that as my higher power was sending me a direct message only I would recognize,  walk away take care of yourself.

I feel better but still discouraged, as I've been trying to find a alanon sponser without success.  So last night I decided

to try a new alanon group, Yah!!! I have a sponser.  I'm feeling elated, my higher power is helping me

deal with the betrayal, helped me find a sponser.  Then As I'm driving home I look up into the bare mountains

above the Columbia river I see a large brightly lit cross.  I thought I was seeing things as I've traveled that

road many times in the last 20 years.  Some would shugg it off, maybe I just never saw it until last night.

that makes it all the more special, my high power letting me know I'm on the right track.   spirtual nurishment

can be very uplifting.  My story may not be what you're looking for, if not thanks for giving me the opportunity to share.

BTW if you believe in prayer please accept my pray God will guide you, provide the physical and spiritual healing you need.    

 



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grateful2be


~*Service Worker*~

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Only a question comes to me as I read your writings: "Are you in the right work for you?" I don't need an answer. I just felt the need to offer the question.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
pinkchip


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The only thing that jumped out at me was you are doing tons of stuff for you in all areas but one. What are you doing to build your support system? Sounds like you feel burdened and alone. For me, it is the "we" part of the program that helped so much. It is easier to let go of things and be a more relaxed person when you feel like you really fit into something larger than yourself. A sponsor was like a godsend to me also.

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hotrod


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Dear singingnick, I am saddened to read of your childhood pain and the loss of your good friend. We do have a 24 seven chat room available and online meetings here two times a day. It is important to break the isolation caused by living with this disease and to connect with others who truly understand.It certainly sounds s if you are doing all the right thing s to care for yourself.

The words of wisdom that I can share with you are that you are not alone. There is a loving higher power that cares deeply about you and that prayer and meditation helped connect to that wonderful source of serenity, courage and wisdom. I know you're living overseas and not sure if there are Al-Anon face-to-face meetings available. If so I urge you to attend and please keep coming back here.

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Breakingfree


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To get through my childhood abuses I needed counseling and I was never so glad when U found al-anon to build myself back up. I am unsure if you have counseling options near you, but al-anon has saved me along with my beloved sponsor. Coming here reading and all the books people suggest have helped. I am sending you love and support on your journey!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Temple


~*Service Worker*~

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Dear Nick,

When I do it, and it is so simple, quick, and easy I have no excuse not to, EFT helps me to let go of tension and fears and all kinds of bugbears.

You can Google it. You can also find all kinds of videos on YouTube showing how to do it. There are shortened versions. It only takes a few minutes in any case. Some people on the videos appeal to me more than others. It is holding a thought while tapping certain acupuncture points on the body. A psychyologist or psychiatrist discovered it while working with a girl who was phobic about flying and she was free from that after a few minutes.

You've gotten great program advice. This is just my little two cents on a little trick. People say "it works for everything." You could tell within a half hour if it is for uou. There are also professional practitioners in the US but I don't know about Europe.

We'll be holding you in our throughts.

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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread.  --Gray Charles

 
singingnick377


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Thank you everybody for sharing your stories and your advice. I really appreciate it. I realise I haven't opened myself up enough for a support system where I am so I really took that advice on board. I have lots of friends but not many that I really open up to and none in the city where I live. My closest friends live in different countries but I called a friend today and went to chat to him for 2 hours and that helped. I should know there is always somewhere to go to where I live too. I go on the online meetings when I can and it fits around my work schedule so that is helping a lot. There are only Dutch speaking meetings where I am and after going for a while it wasn't for me, but I don't have a sponsor right now. I will ask my higher power to lead me to the help I need in whatever form. I have my first therapy session on Monday and know about EFT too, and regards the work I do it is the right thing for me. I work as an opera singer and currently have a full time permanent job in an opera house which is a massive help as I don't also have the stress of auditions and finding work right now like in the past, and I work in a friendly place so that helps. My earnings and home are my safe elements in life for me right now. 

I bought myself some nice flowers today too. I always like having flowers to look at in my apartment and I have a restful evening ahead of me. Thanks again. When I was writing my share this morning a part of me said noone will want to write anything because what I am talking about seems so small compared to what others are dealing with. Again, I was proved wrong. I also thought I had noone to talk to face to face and that was also only my thinking and I spoke to my osteopath who also offered me lots of support. People are there if I only open myself up. 



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Nicola Mills
Temple


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That is wonderful, Nicola--

What a beautiful name. And you are gorgeous. Always nice when an opera singer looks good, too. Not a requirement, but it helps us middle-brows a lot. So wonderful that you get to do what you love in beautiful surroundings and even have job security. Win-win-win.

It is hard for a person who is naturally reserved to let other people in. You have taken some positive strides in helping yourself.

As some dear member quoted: We are all here because we're not 'all there.' And we are all equals; there is no heirarchy of suffering. And recovery is for everyone.

We have a Coloratura, I believe she is, here, as well.

Temple

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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread.  --Gray Charles

 
likemyheart


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When I wake up at 2 am and am not able to go back to sleep because of the thoughts in my head, I put on a dumb but brilliantly funny movie called Paranorman and my mind lets go so I can sleep again. Weird I know, but so am I. One of the goals in my life is to fill it with things I like, doing things I like, listening to music I like, etc, seeing and experiencing the positive to remind me constantly of all the things that are good, the reasons why I endure the less than fun aspects of life. I find the news frustrating so I don't watch it, I don't watch dark shows, I like slasher movies but don't indulge in them very often because I value my life being positive and light, happy. My Baby Groot sits where I can look up and see it and smile, my digital frame, loaded with family photos catches my vision often. I am pretty solitary in my personal life, but find that its ok because I'm socialable outside the house; I come in contact with the public a lot and really enjoy it - and when the day is over I can relax with a tv show, quiet time alone and embrace all that is good about being alone. I used to think being alone meant there was something wrong with me, but now I know that clinging to being with the wrong person means there is something wrong with me instead. A long hot bath comes to mind, heating pad for my feet. Sorry, as I read this I don't know if it is much help, but its what comes to mine. Cheers!

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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
singingnick377


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Dear Likemyheart,

Thanks for your share. I can identify a lot with it as I also live alone and enjoy my quiet time alone in my apartment. I am quite sociable so I can choose when I want to be and when I want time alone to sit and do things that I enjoy without having to chat to others. I am slowly learning to do things that I enjoy and I put myself first now after pleasing others for years. When I can't sleep I read a book for a while and try not to worry that I can't sleep. This too will all pass. Accepting what is and knowing that things will change and my pain and discomfort will pass too. I hope you have a lovely day wherever you are in the world. 



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Nicola Mills
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