The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I came across this page when looking for information to help my brother. I know only he can help himself. Im not necessarily new to this whole realm of addictions. I have watched my sister in law suffer to the point of near death at 30 from alcoholism. My brother, this past year, has had a very fast decline, leaving us all at a loss for words, for what to do, for how to help. Prior to this year, we were unaware of any struggles in his life, really. But in the past year, he has had some pretty significant reprecussions seemingly linked to his struggle with alcoholism. I guess my questions are, are there any places I can look to, to try to get him help? He has done AA meetings, and another similar type of program. I personally want him fully evaluated psychiatrically, as so much of what is going on is completely out of his nature. I know the lying, stealing, manipulating comes with the nature of the disease, but..I guess I dont know where to turn, as he recently just lost his job, has no insurance, etc.
I apologize in advance if these questions are not appropriate for this forum. I am just at a loss for where to turn at this point.
I only have a few months with Alanon, but I'm amazed each an everytime someone new including myself, joins the group
looking for help for their loved one. They're gentle, told we can only help ourselves, we're powerless over alcohol. We tell them to keep coming back an little by little it starts to make sense. As you said only he can help himself. There's others here that can explain things better. There's even online meetingsmor just read a few posts. Sending prayers
Hi. Welcome to MIP. He knows where to get help if he wants it - especially if he's been in AA. We suggest face to face Al-Anon meetings for you and for your family members if they'll go. 6 meetings suggested at first to see if the program is right for you. We didn't cause, can't control and can't cure the disease or the person with it. We can get help for ourselves because this disease drags us all down whether or not our loved one continues to drink. Please keep coming back here, too.
Hi Loripop Welcome to MIP I am so sorry to read of your brothers hasty decline My son experienced a similar decline as it was the nature of the disease in him. Alcoholism is a progressive, fatal disease over which we are powerless. AA has a hotline number that can assist you with all the questions regarding treatment options and hospital admissions--They helped me twice in my lifetime The number is in the white pages.
I urge you to search out alanon face to face meetings in your community and attend. Dealing with the disease is too much for most of us and we need the support of others who truly understand.
Please keep coming back here as well.
I know if one of my brothers had an addiction, it would be very difficult for me to detach. But detach with compassion we must.
If we step in to rescue or help in anyway, it will only delay them getting help.
Try to get help and support for yourself by going to an Alanon face to face meeting and coming here for advice as there is a lot of experience on
this board.
Hey Lori, your questions ARE appropriate adn i am very very glad u came here to ask.....I have an Alcoholic brother, too and working in alanon, my relationship with him is the best its been b/c I stay out of the way...let him suffer the consequences of his drinking, we don't fight, no fussing/ pleading/ obsessing on my part so now i can enjoy the guy as much as one CAN with an alcoholic...he knows what to do to get help too, but refuses...hes had DUI's now, just got his license back from the latest binge and if he messes up again, i think he loses his license for good or very long term, anyway, i am his friend and being a good friend means letting him walk his own journey, experience his own lessons and loving him in the good/sober times.....its hard...it sucks, i know...losing a loved one (and that is the end result if they keep drinking) but that is what it is....i no longer interfere with him nor do i try to "change/cure" him, i just accept him as is and respect that this is his walk...if he wants help, i know as resourceful as addicts are, he will find help, for sure....so will your brother....i'm sorry , we share this sadness, but we can find peace through the program and the steps, meetings, etc....i got a sponsor who is recovering alcoholic, sober since the late 80's i think?? we go waay back and i remember her during her drinking times...she got sober, going to AA and has been sober since..she was a big influence getting me to go to alanon when my marriage went under due to alcoholism......welcome to the group...you are not alone in how ya feel and how hard and sad it makes ya feel......but really we are powerless over another persons choices and that goes for destructive drinking.....sooo sad thank God for alanon
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
