OMGOSH .. WMFI .. I'm soooo sorry that this has been going on .. you are NOT alone. Please do seek DV counseling this is horrible as they can best guide you. I have had similar fears and had to act accordingly. Be aware and be safe, know your surroundings. With him as out of control as he is the good news is this (and there is no guarantee and I'm not going to sit here and tell you there is) MOST of the time they are blowing smoke and mirrors trying to control and completely uncontrollable situation. I found with both of my ex's that they talk a lot however take little action. So please do keep in mind of trying not to feed his fears and I absolutely would say go radio silent, meaning do NOT engage a crazy person.

Sending LOTS of love and prayers, DO update when you can and I'm just soooo sorry this is going on right now on top of everything else.

Hugs S :)

Prayers for protection for you and your family.

I am so sorry.

Temple

Call the Domestic Violence Center if you have not already done that. There is nothing that can stop him from buying another gun or just breaking into your home. I can understand the fear. I validate it. I stand in support of you. Many prayers, D.  Don't let your own fear get the best of you.  Let your HP guide you.  I also suggest that if your comings and goings are fairly predictable that you change your pattern so that there is no rhyme or reason to it.  Remember, the alcoholic watches what we do.  They don't hear what we say.  It might be prudent of you to also advise your sons to be cautious as well.  They aren't dealing with their father.  They are dealing with a very unpredictable brain misfiring.

It's also important not to challenge him or to confront him.  That will escalate the violence if you engage with him in that manner if you should see him again.  The disease wants a fight.  You don't have to engage with it.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 7th of October 2014 03:03:49 PM

-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 7th of October 2014 03:05:31 PM

-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 7th of October 2014 03:07:29 PM

-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 7th of October 2014 03:19:51 PM

Prayers for all of you. Stay close.

((wornoutmrsfixit))) I can relate. Lean on your MIP family as much as you'd like to feel supported and loved- we will be here with you every step of the way. Have a safety plan - have a way to call for help at all times, a way to leave the house, and enlist help from someone close by. Sending prayers.

Thanks for being here for me. Court is scheduled for today and I will be asking for an extension of the protective order, rehab/extensive alcohol monitoring and a psychiatric evaluation after I bring forward the new information about the gun and ammunition. Very nervous but am going to show up and do what I need to do to persuade the court to help protect me and the community from an out of control alcoholic who has gone off of his psychiatric meds, which in turn helps him by holding him accountable. Love you all My warning: Please, please, please pay attention to warning signs of increasing violence and mental instability and act sooner rather than later through LEGAL means. It gets scarier as time goes on, especially when you try to make a break.

Wow. I am so sorry. This is really scary. Let us know how court went. Good for you for being strong and pressing charges and following through.

I agree, WO. DV is like an allergy to bees. The first sting is not to much trouble, but there's still trouble. The second sting, the entire body can swell up. The third sting can be the last. And we never know what bee will sting when or where. We have no control over that. We only have the ability to protect ourselves from anything with a stinger as much as possible and carry our bee sting kit at all times. Hope you got your requests met today in court.

Appreciate all of the concern. I did go for the court hearing and as a lot of court issues go, not much happened. It was all rescheduled to be heard on Nov. 6 when he will answer for the criminal charges but the Judge reminded him that all of the orders of the Preliminary Protective Order and the alcohol testing provisions still stand. I checked in with my Domestic Violence Coordinator while I was there. She has given me a lot of good tips. A lot of them, I have already done but others seem worth doing. I have 2 family members that are very knowledgeable about guns who want to teach me to use the one I took from AH. I feel better knowing that he will be having to maintain a level of sobriety because of the court order. A jealous husband is intimidating but the jealous husband who is on a bender is the one that makes me fear for my life. I got the impression in court that he is going to do as ordered just as he did when he had the ignition lock system in his car. I hope and pray that is the case because Lord knows he has messed up so many parts of my life that I do not want to be run off. from a family that loves me, a town where I have tons of friends, a job I love and a man with no drinking issues who gives me everything that I have been missing for the past few years.

-- Edited by wornoutmrsfixit on Friday 10th of October 2014 12:59:40 PM

I'm glad court was favorable and hope that things continue to your favor as best they can. I'm also glad your DVC gave you good tips to help keep you safe. I hope and pray that there is enough distance and protection where this man can't continue to hurt you and your family, despite if he continues to drink or not.