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A newbie with a big question
(Preview)
Greetings, all.
This is my very first post, and I need some help with some issues I'm having.
My wife is in rehab, and today was our first visitation. During the presentation, the speaker started outlining all the responsibilities that will fall on me and my kids.
Here's the problem: I don't thi...
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wbfox58
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28
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1207
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Nice to think about
(Preview)
Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adored her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave
her nothing but the best. He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighboring kingdoms. &nb...
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kerry5
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1
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397
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New day! (So why am I still feeling like, ahem?)
(Preview)
Sometimes I feel like all I do is add drama to the board. All of us, I feel have enough drama in our lives. You don't need mine to add to it. Other times, I feel like if I don't say anything, I'm going to explode. I mean, it meant alot to me when people were authentic in their recovery: however hea...
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Tiger2006
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8
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487
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he said he would be home.....he is not
(Preview)
he has been gone for days.
i got a call from him yesterday,
he said he would be home today.......he is not.
i decided to go to a face to face meeting tonight.
it was nice.
but,
something really peculiar happened just as i was getting ready to leave.
he called.
i went outside to start my veh...
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jewely
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7
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662
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HP is giving me signs
(Preview)
Hi Alanonies!
My father (the original A) would not help with college after I graduated from high school many moons ago. He could claim me on his taxes though and brag about how much money he had! I remember as a kid I played on campus at a nearby Ivy League college and thought to myself, "One day I am going...
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kissers
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6
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456
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Im sick of the rollercoaster ride.
(Preview)
Afew months ago my A was in aa meetings and it was working great for him for a little while, then my brothers bucks night came up, and it was the best reason my A could think of to have a drink.
So the next day, he told me he didnt think he had a problem, and would wish i would lighten up a little, and let him make...
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arty
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5
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555
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getting paid and other issues
(Preview)
Well I did get paid but the problem is that whenever I have money I encounter yet another bill related to the A. I made the terrible mistake of getting a truck with the A. He has tremendous issues with driving. As long as he drives it I really should have better insurance than I do now. H...
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maresie2
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3
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458
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my progress report
(Preview)
((((((((((hey family))))))))))
well... im exhausted from work.. doin on average 48-52 hrs per week in my job and reaping the rewards financially...
i got my tattoo done last saturday :D dead proud of myself there.
i booked 2 holidays.. one with the girls in july and one family holiday in oct.....
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Rebecca
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3
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354
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I just completely lost it
(Preview)
I have been trying to use the tools of al-anon to deal with my AH and his irresponsibility, but I just unloaded about a year's worth of built up resentment on him.
A year and a half ago he went into renal failure due to a double blockage of his kidneys brought on by dehydration (alcohol was his only drink)...
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babysteps
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3
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593
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another "oh Wow" moment
(Preview)
i was just walking out to my vehicle.......,
when the thought occured to me.......,
maybe.........,
higher power told ken to call me last night before i left to the meeting.
maybe higher power wanted to 'test' me to strenghten me to break that old pattern of stopping what ever i am doin...
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jewely
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1
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459
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Phoenix Rising
(Preview)
I wanted to share my success story! Well, I haven't been here in months, but I do think of you all often and feel so thankful for all of support that I received here. I was posting under sunny123 and logged in as Little Bit in the chat room. Like most here, there were times when I couldn'...
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sunny123
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9
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3090
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hohum week
(Preview)
Well this is kind of a HOHum week. I feel like I am dealing well with the issues at hand and hubby is going to meetings 2 and 3 times a day and has a sponsor and is taking a much more active role in really wanting to beat this thing!! However he is having a hard time with the fact that he has missed so...
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Klynn
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4
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396
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where I got to at last
(Preview)
(((Hi Everyone))),
I have just been thinking lately and wanted to share a bit with you.
I spent years, many years not knowing what was wrong with me. Why was I different to other people in some respects. I was able to keep a job and a home and appeared sensible to the outside world. Yet, somethi...
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annmarie
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1
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342
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This gift of LIFE....
(Preview)
(((Hi everyone)))
It has been a strange couple of weeks. We found out December 27 that my stepchildren's mother was found (we thought murdered initially) in a trash bag on the side of a highway out of state. We talked to the detectives (who did not s...
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hersh
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5
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378
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A cold is making him sick, not the aftermath of a binge
(Preview)
Yeah. Right. I called my A's cell phone this morning and left him the message that I was just calling to see if he was okay, that we were sorry about what happened to him (the relapse), and were concerned about his being sicker than could be expected. That...
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jaja
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4
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526
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Good news for once
(Preview)
I just wanted to share some good news. My A decided that he was going to pay me a little support last weekend out of his check from his new job. I sure was glad to get something. I took the kids to see him and we went out to eat at a local game place where the kids could play. We had a goo...
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carolinagirl
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3
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380
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Personality Flaws and A'ism... A couple questions
(Preview)
Something I read in the ODAT reader the other day that maybe I just didn't understand or didn't know was the A'ism is the not the cause of the personality flaws, but its the personality flaws that cause the A'ism. The topic for that day was just because someone gets sober doesn't mean the A or the sp...
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twinmom2
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6
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899
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Just wondering #2
(Preview)
Hi I am sorry. I was so sleepy last night that I just guess I forgot to finish the post. What I was wondering was if anyone had the book pathways to change they wouldn't mind getting rid of. Extra copy, anything.
Sorry for scaring you all with my strange blank post.
Can anyone help?
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hippietrippiechick
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1
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401
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Husband slipped
(Preview)
Hi. I am very new to all of this. My husband is an alcoholic, and he very recently started to address it. Just before Christmas, he went to Home Depot to pick up a part for our water heater, and never came home until the next morning at 7 AM. I was leaving for work. He was terrified, had been hang...
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Michigan
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2
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539
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Open Note to John
(Preview)
Hi John,
You do not know me. But you have saved my family, my wife, and probably my life.
This forum was my last hope late at night one night at the end of 2006, when I thought life was no longer worth living.
My my, the friends I have made here. The answers and encouragement I have...
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Cucamonga
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12
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1067
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I feel different....and here he comes
(Preview)
Hello everyone....I hope you all know how much power our collective ESH has!
This board (I can't seem to get into chat room...I can't make f2f schedules) has been a huge part of my life this past month.
After my breakdown the other night(thanks for the kindness),I feel I went to a new level of re...
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Fifi
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2
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636
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Insights
(Preview)
Its been a very perplexing couple of years in dealing wth yet another view of the affects of the disease of alcoholism within the family. It has been four years since my ah and I have separated yet during the course of that time our 13 yo son has picked up where his father has left off. Even arm...
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Cilla
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2
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412
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he's drinking again and I slipped,too
(Preview)
He started this past Friday late afternoon an hour after he told me he was feeling sick, couldn't eat dinner with me and daughter, and was going to go home to his place to lay down. And he said his phone wouldn't be on that night because it needed to b...
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jaja
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7
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520
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Had a terrible weekend
(Preview)
(((Hello MIP Friends)))
No sugar coating it, my weekend was aweful. Just when I begin to feel secure in my relationship and homelife, my AH turns into a raving lunatic!! This weekend he spent most of the weekend bashing me because he's sick and tired of me talking down to him, talking to...
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twinmom2
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6
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524
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controlling others decisions
(Preview)
I have felt very controlling the last couple of days. I want the people in my life to make the decisions that I want for them. I want to control how they spend their money and what they do with their day.
It is very hard to take care of me when I am still trying to control issues that are not mine to control....
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Gailey
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3
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511
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Progress not perfection
(Preview)
The A's mother paid a visit. As some of you will recall I had a lot of feelings around her up and running off in a marriage. The A spent days cleaning and organizing and gearing up for her visit. I did very little in terms of talking to him about it. I used to totally obsess about her and ef...
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maresie2
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3
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472
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What tools do you use?
(Preview)
This is such a great place for us to learn how to handle life and work on our own self-improvement. Sometimes, however, I find it hard to remember all of the tools we have at our disposal thanks to this program. This is especially important for newcomers who don't know much about al-anon. I thought it wou...
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babysteps
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8
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730
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Moving (With my A) and he's feeling the itch
(Preview)
Hi Everyone 
I need some......stories. I know people try not to give advice, so I was wondering if any people here could tell me about their experiences living with their A's and some things they did to cope, or "live with it". I'm specificlly talking about when they've gone drinking....what did...
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alora_red
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4
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451
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decisions
(Preview)
the details: my dad died in may. his house has been on the market since june. his friend/excutor has been living there and taking care of it before and since dad died. i am renting a little house and my lease is up in march. so my dad's friend has suggested that the kids and i move in there and he'll move out. b...
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serendipity
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5
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403
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Chaotic twist to my A leaving which I thought was for good
(Preview)
Well, He showed right back up about 25 minutes later, claimining that he was trying to help me deal with a nosy, snoopy neighbor who I really don't want in my house. I would not have let her in anyway, but she was acting like some kind of crackhead--strange. Charlie really does love me, but when he showed b...
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hippietrippiechick
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13
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681
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Alot of you know me :)
(Preview)
I am back now, but as fluffy. I have family members that may run across this site and know my other name. This was not a problem before. They will not notice if they see the name fluffy. I changed my name so they don't run across my posts that are from my heart and very open. If you w...
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fluffy
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13
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573
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he has been gone for days
(Preview)
he has been gone for days........................,
and, i find my mind slipping back into old thought patterns.
where is he?
is he okay?
in jail?
got his own place?
out at the campround?
the other morning, it was thirty below zero.
when i went out to start my vehicle the stingi...
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jewely
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4
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670
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TO HIPPIETRIPPIECHICK...
(Preview)
Just curious what you were just wondering...your post titled "was just wondering" doesn't have any text in it. 
Kathi
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lmt123
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0
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377
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WAS JUST WONDERING.....
(Preview)
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hippietrippiechick
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0
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356
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ESH?
(Preview)
Hi - I read and reply a lot, but don't start new threads often. This situation has me stumped, however. My AH went to rehab a year and a half ago. For a few months prior to going he turned yellow, his liver function tests were off the chart (in the 400's when they should be in the 40's), he was anemic due to maln...
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babysteps
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7
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485
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Just needed familiar faces
(Preview)
I am in my new state/town.
I just needed to touch base with someone, something familiar. It is so comforting to be able to come here and get that.
It is wonderful to be with hubby again. I did miss him. I don't like being away from my boys though. But they are all on their own for a long time now and they nee...
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doxie
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10
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464
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Bill W, saint or creep
(Preview)
I just read some information about Bill W. Frankly, I was shocked that he would do the things he did even after sobering up. What's your take on this? Do you think it is even true? He is held up as some sort of a pagan god when it sounds like he was a womanizing creep.
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snoopy
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30
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9114
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Tools and Talk
(Preview)
One of the best things to me about having a program is that no matter what is going on in my life, good, bad, or just another day, I always have someone I can talk to about it. Not looking for advice, but someone who can listen, and more importantly so I can hear myself saying what is on my mind.
Of...
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barisax
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3
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460
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Those with a "strong" program
(Preview)
There are certain "veteran" members out there and there are very few of them, so please don't take offense to this if this doesn't apply to you. Certain people who've made mistake after mistake and have learned to twist and turn the principles of the program to fit their situation and make it okay inste...
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benedetta
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14
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1173
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So, it'll be interesting to see how THIS posts....
(Preview)
OMG it's been a weekend...But I want to talk to you anyway, so here goes.
I swore when I left Wittenberg behind me I was gonna have a whole new life, a whole new being, a whole new thinking. A whole new...yeah. That idea? hasn't panned out. I'm finding out the more "writing intensiv...
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Tiger2006
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8
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646
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went to rehab
(Preview)
he decided yesterday,that he wanted to go to rehab,but he had to get drunk first before going..he says that is the only way he can into detox is if he is drunk..him going into rehab is going to make moving back north a little harder,cause now i have a whole house to pack and figure out where i am going to put h...
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bev
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4
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553
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Oh my--prayers please!
(Preview)
O.k. for those who know a little of my history--you are going to say "not again", but it seems yes again.
I have taken a pregnancy test and it would appear- I am yet again! I need prayers please that I can handle whatever comes. I doubt this one will "come to fruitition" I'm sorry I do...
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hudsond
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7
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407
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reading posts from last to first
(Preview)
I have changed my" post by" at the bottom of the page to "last modofied" but it keeps going back to "start date". Am I doing something wrong? When I click on a post to read, I have to start at the bottom where the original post is.
Thanks for help in advance...Gail
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Gailey
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3
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379
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My prayer is answered and it hurts so bad
(Preview)
Hello ((Everyone))
I was away for the weekend working on some things for my new living arrangements. When I came home yesterday I found bail papers on the kitchen counter, seems my A went to jail was bailed out and went back again all in one night. I've been praying for this to happen since I learned of t...
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Jennifer
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6
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594
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trying to let go of a friend
(Preview)
I have a problem with a women friends
i told her to day that i need to break away from her on the phone i told her i love her but she
says she dont love me,i have push my feeling for her to the back of my head more times than you can count but it builds up and drive me nuts about,
in the past i have post...
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marty
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1
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437
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Quick and easy questions about this board (I think!)
(Preview)
I used to see all the new posts sorted to the top...now it seems each post is "locked" in the order it was orignally started, regardless of when any replies were added.
I kinda liked to see the new posts sorted to the top. I've dug around for a setting, but can't seem to find it.
Has someth...
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DebiDeb
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10
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667
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woke up middle of night and had a major outburst--no reason
(Preview)
It is 4:49 am, and I am just now calming down. I woke up and was the most major "Oscar the Grouch" to my A and life itself. I just bitched and whined. I don't know why. I just went off.. I am feeling tired. My body hurts and I know I need to get to the doctor but I have no way to get there. Maybe mom or dad will take me t...
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hippietrippiechick
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1
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358
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SAD/Seas. Affective Disorder/ Mood DIsorders
(Preview)
HI....It's that time of year. I am a SAD sufferer and married to a now sober alcoholic. Anyway, there is a new book released in 2005 by Dr. Norman Rosenthal on Seasonal Affective Disorder. www.normanrosenthal.com I was able to check one...
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wallsal55
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2
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391
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Reflecting, Smelling the Roses
(Preview)
(((((((Friends))))))))),
Today is a meloncollie type of day for me....just can't seem to shake it....I am still really liking my job...kids seem to be getting better.....zach has even been getting out of the house and started weight lifting at school again...so happy about that..... the chi...
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Andrea12
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6
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450
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LOLOLOLOL......
(Preview)
Ok, so I thought I was going nutso when I replied to someone's post, and it posted as if they replied to mine...go figure...  
Then I read a post and started seeing that it is happening to everyone else! Yayyyyy!!!!! I've not lost my mind AFTER ALL! 
...
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lmt123
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3
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450
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Backsliding
(Preview)
Why do I do it to myself?
On Saturday night I went out with a girl friend and her boyfriend, to catch up and listen to some good live music. I had been waiting to hear from my A just before I left home to tell him that I was sorry for the way I had reacted to him that morning and that I wanted to give things...
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mama_nz
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4
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426
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My A wants to have a talk-- I just want to to alone
(Preview)
Hello everyone,
I haven't posted for a while. I like to be able to share good stuff and the problems too, so first of all, I would like to give you all a little gift before I get into my topic:
Maybe writing this can help me too:
This is for today, Jan, 14, and I am rewrting it some to not break copywright...
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hippietrippiechick
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7
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484
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NEWBIE: I AM SO CONFUSED...
(Preview)
I AM SO CODEPENDANT THAT I JUST WANT TO SCREAM! I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING BUT I CANT ALWAYS CHANGE MY REACTIONS. MY HUSBAND IS OR WAS LIKE HE SAYS ADDICTED TO SEX. HE WAS FIANLLY AFTER YEARS OF THIS GOING ON AND GOING THROUGH SO MUCH THERAPY HE FINALLY HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED BI-POLAR. I AM EXHAUSTED AND LOST. I WENT T...
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why
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4
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385
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question about site and what actually "goes out there"
(Preview)
Just a question...
i understand now that the information posted on this board is put out there into cyberspace. I guess I never really thought much about it, but yeah, it does make sense.
My question is...and forgive my ignorance, but...
Is all that is said in chat available as easily???...
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confused
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2
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572
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he is home
(Preview)
well he is home,how he got out of paying a bond i dont know,first thing he said when he walked in was im sorry,i didnt say anything..he went in the bedroom..i went in awhile later and asked him if he still had the watch{it cost 300.00 ayear ago,and wanted to make sure he didnt pawn it}he still had it,but rem...
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bev
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5
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403
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The disease takes two more
(Preview)
Yesterday, a good family friends laid to rest two sons - Q. 23 yrs old & C. 30 yrs old -
Q. overdosed on Friday night and then while the family was preparing to attend the services, they were notified that C. had done the same thing. Now only God knows if either was intention or accident...
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Rita G
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13
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639
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Coming out of the codependent cloud
(Preview)
I think for the first time in my 47 years I'm realizing it's not my job to save the world, what a relief!! All kidding aside, I am seeing that in leaving my AH I am seeing hope in my own future and excited about living a life of truth, serenity and faith. I know I have a lot of work ahead of me and it isn't going to b...
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tryingtoheal
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7
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594
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6 year old self love
(Preview)
Hi all
Just wanted to share what made my day today.
My 6 year old daughter was showing me her schoolwork folder and in it was something she had written at school....she is learning to write by herself and sounds out the words without asking for help...those of you with kids probably remember th...
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Fifi
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5
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372
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an update!!
(Preview)
I have not been on the past few days!! I came to realize somethings and I can smile now!! I guess it could be considered an awakening!?!? I was given a book at my first f2f by a member who I think felt really bad for me cause I cried....OK balled the whole time!! I was ment to go there and he was ment to give me the...
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Klynn
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3
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373
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Fear
(Preview)
I feel I have to respond to both John and Isabela about the topic that is being pursued at the moment. The word FEAR is paramount here it is what brought Isabela to write her post in the first place. Was she naive NO, probably the same as the rest of us just feeling very vulnerable and wo...
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leo
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1
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481
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