The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
You do not know me. But you have saved my family, my wife, and probably my life.
This forum was my last hope late at night one night at the end of 2006, when I thought life was no longer worth living.
My my, the friends I have made here. The answers and encouragement I have gotten here. Can you just imagine how many more of me are out there, praying tonight and thanking their HP for performing miracles through this forum?
Anyway, as you said in your closed post, we need to speak up. I choose to speak up in gratitde of you and this forum.
I choose to speak up and encourage you to focus on the GREAT things going on here, and NOT focus on the turmoil that the A in some of our life are trying to create here.
It is not members doing it! It is their As. Their interest is in scaring and controlling our forum. It's in scaring and controlling us all.
Good night all, and thanks for our fellowship. Aluta continuata
1. Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.
It probably shouldn't bother me so much but it does when we lose as much as one member. Especially, in the light of what we are up against as individuals. When any one, for any reason walks away from the fellowship, friendships they have found in Al-Anon or even other 12 Step rpograms, they are attempting to work a "self help" program and by ourselves, trying to do this alone is the worst place any of us can be as we struggle with the effects and aftermath of alcoholism in our lives. Our strength as individuals is a direct reflection of our strength as a whole.
If this was a self help program... none of us would need to be here. We'd all be helping ourselves. But what works is the opposite for us, This is a helping others program, and by doing so, and taking off our runnin' shoes and sticking around.. we are the beneficiaries. The by product of our being present and available to others is we start to heal, grow, learn, find peace and serenity.
Most important is we stop drowning in the alcoholism of others right along with them, because we have eachother as life perserver jackets. Spiritual tow trucks that will reach out to us and pull us out of any ditch we might land in when we get off the beam of recovery.
When we back away from the fellowship for any reason, we are not doing ourselves any justice, but practicing the "i.s.m" of this diease...
"ISabotage Myself"
And some of the excuses we will use to do this will surely indicate we are definetely sicker than the alcoholic at times.
John
__________________
" And what did we gain? A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."
Will post this here. I wrote a post thank you post not long ago for the many 1000s you help on mip john.
So you all know i just tryed to put my name on google as kerry5 and kerry is my real name also. A whole bunch of pages came up and not this message board i didnt check the 100's of pages that came with my name search.
I came on this board knowing the safety precautions i could take, that would be not using my real name on a open message board for anyone to see, not giving out my address or phone number in a public room and alot of other things to. Surfing on the net is just as dangerous as posting on a board. I like using my real name i always have, i have been in chat since 1996. Nothing has ever happened with my name. I have been in and out of alanon for years and on all of the message boards that has been put on mip, if my family typed in my name on a search engine ( father to this day does not know i attend alanon) it would be his own problem in my opinion.
I wouldnt allow him to manipulate me into leaving this group because it is where i found sanity, love, compassion, hope, strength to be and do what i want. I would give it up for no one. If my family would choose to read it would be at thier own risk. If they had no lives and wanted to create chaos to say how bad i am that is thier stuff not mine.
Nothing would keep me from recovery i have to far to hard to get here. When i left alanon i went down a dangerous road and i choose not to do that again. If i keep thinking of all the what if this happens or that my life would still be in chaos i choose recovery not chaos and definately not my familys drama. No more!
A fluke that some names brings you to this board in my opinion. Change your names, do your homework, and it has always been said here that this board was a public one.
I still say my recovery has come from mip and nothing will steal or rob me of it. Thank you john for all you do for us and continue to do. I hope you dont get to discouraged.
(((((((hugs))))))
kerry
__________________
Life can only be understood backwards, But it must be lived forwards
Because of my job I could not go to F2f meetings in my community. I've driven sometimes 60 miles away to get support. I've tried other websites but I love MIP because people are honest, caring and people don't "sugar coat". I can take what I need and leave the rest. John, this web site has truly saved my life in the last month.
I was a little shocked by Isabela's post when I read it yesterday. I cannot imagine ever living in that kind of fear and hope that I never have to know it. I do not agree with how she handled it but in trying to put myself in her shoes I can somewhat understand her logic. Some people while they use the internet have no concept of what is going on behind the scenes. They just dont have the computer saviness of some. I do know that things go out there - but to be honest I did not know it was as easy as was explained. While putting that info out there could put some in more danger - it on the flip side could have saved someone's life.
Ultimately it is the responsibility of everyone who visits this board and chatroom to be aware. If you live in an environment that is that unstable or unsafe then posting to this board from a known (by the A) email account is not wise. Neither is posting from a home computer. That is not to say not to come to this site. There are computer cafes, libraries, etc where you can go to gain access to this site.
While it is frustrating, I think Isabela had everyone's including her own best interest at heart. There were other ways of handling it but she did the best she could with what she has. I wish her the best in a very difficult situation and anyone else who lives with that kind of fear in their lives. It truly is no way to live and hopefully they will someday find a way to live their lives without fear and for themselves instead of the A's in their lives.
Just a different opinion on the matter.
Karen
-- Edited by AlaMom at 12:05, 2007-01-15
__________________
Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Love you all!
Karen
Hello John , tho we have not always agreed on all topics sharred here there has never been any doubt as to your intent in operating this site. To share recovery from this devestating disease while sharring our own experiences of hope .
Perhaps now people will stop using thier Real names and those of thier loved ones anywhere on the net. Thanks again Louise
((((John))) As I wrote in a previous post, I did not stop and think about how open the internet really is. But, I agree with you, hopefully, someday, we can all stop hiding. Stop pretending the elephant isn't in the room.
When I came here on Jan. 1, 2006, I was at the end of my rope. I did not want to live. My AH had left, I was sick, hopeless, and alone. An angel guided me to this room, I think I went into some other AA chat (not MIP) and a kind woman directed me here. I thank God every day for her. MIP allowed showed me how to tie a knot at the end of my rope and hang on. And I haven't let go since!
I have said it before, and I will say it again....MIP has saved me. The beautiful people here, and the fact that you have this site available, John, has saved me. If it were not for you, I do not think I would be here right now.
I was too hurt and confused when I first came here to even make up a nickname, so I just used my own. Of course, on ANY site, it just makes sense to not disclose personal information, such as address, phone #, etc. You are so right, this is the internet...cyberspace.
The way I feel is, that my AH does not like me being on here, so out of respect for him, I do not do it when he is home. But, were he to read anything I have ever written, I do not care. In fact, maybe I wish he would, because I say things here, I could never say to him directly. The more I write, and chat, and listen, the more I heal. And the more I heal, even if he still drinks, the better our lives will be.
Thanks again for being here....John and all.
Love in Recovery,
Becky1
P.S. I did try to look up my posts under my name, and a whole lot of Becky1's came up, but none of them were me.
I'm sure if I tried real hard, I could find about anyone I wanted to on the internet...that's just the way it is. I don't know much about computers, and don't care to right now. But this is the ONLY board I post on, and the ONLY chatroom I visit. For me, it is the only one worth 2 cents. I feel safe here, have always felt safe here, and will continue to feel safe here. The op's watch out for us in chat, and WE are responsible for whatever information we choose to post on the board about ourselves. There are ways to remain completely anonymous, and to cover your tracks on your computer if you know how, or if you feel it is necessary.
I hope those of us who live in fear of being found out, somehow find safety in their lives, and are someday able to speak freely and, as John said, heal!
Thank you John!!! Sometimes, it just cannot be said enough. You have a tough job and you handle it well. Thank you also for the tears from the MIP Christmas Update. That is wonderful to read about the new recovery house and the experience you are having with it. Please keep us updated.
I am one of those who if still were with their alcoholic there would be no way I would or could admit I sought outside help -of any kind. He was too abusive and yes I feared him with just cause (one of the many reasons I am beyond grateful for this program)
So what comes to mind here is this, I am by no means computer savvy, Although I do believe there is a way to remove internet history -As in recent sites you have visited. I think there’s a way it can be done every time one shuts the computer down for that day/ time (to set up and be done automatically) Just a thought for anyone concerned with personal safety and their own information trail
There are ways to remain completely anonymous, and to cover your tracks on your computer if you know how, or if you feel it is necessary.
I hope those of us who live in fear of being found out, somehow find safety in their lives, and are someday able to speak freely and, as John said, heal!
Oops, I see my reply may be what Becky1 was referring to in hers
Aluta continuata
