The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was away for the weekend working on some things for my new living arrangements. When I came home yesterday I found bail papers on the kitchen counter, seems my A went to jail was bailed out and went back again all in one night. I've been praying for this to happen since I learned of the arrest warrant, it's probably the safest place he could be right now. I'm just so sorry that the good part of him has to be hurt by this disease.
He calls a couple times a day, my phone is set to not accept collect calls, and I do not have an active credit card to charge the charges. It's a good thing tho I wish I could tell him I do care even if I can't be a part of this anymore. Thinking of him sitting there is unbelievably painful. And the idea that if were me there he wouldn't bat an eye. It would just be another good reason to drink hurts more.
This will make life easier legally, I do not believe he will be released with his history of no showing court hearings. So he will be at the hearings I needed him to be at. The house is alreay in foreclosure, no luck on the investment company buying it so far, I can list it again. I'm thinking of filing bankruptcy, it would be easier to do this jointly prior to the divorce. <sigh> Maybe with a bit of time being sober I can get coherent decisions from him. If not I move along as I have been anyway.
Even with all the crap that goes along with drinking 24/7, I miss him. He was home to me.
Even when you know it is the best thing, it's OK to grieve the loss of what 'could have been' - you love(d) him.
My husband has an AA t shirt that says "God doesn't make junk" on it. Inside every impossible-to-live-with Alcoholic, there is the valuable human being they truly are, if only they could be free.
I am actually in tears after reading your post. I feel for you. I think you are doing the right things, and I wish I could come to that point. God bless you. Keep the faith. Stay with us.
Stacie
__________________
This is HippieTrippieChick Signing Off
Be blessed and have a wonderful day.
Remember God loves you.
PEACE
(((((((((Jennifer))))))) My heart goes out to you. Stay strong and rely on your HP. There is the disease and then there is the person. How can we not miss the person with all the good healthy memories? My best friends son is now in prison for violating his parole related to alcohol charges. It is so hard on my friend. Her son is 21. I do know that in some jails, they get to play cards etc. from what my daughter has told me. My friend and I agree that prison is a lot better bottom than death. Take care, fluffy xoxoxo
((()) Jennifer thinking of you. Get some advice on the filing for bankruptcy before you do it otherwise it may have negative consequences for you credit wise in the long run. I am not sure how your laws work in the US. Luv Leo xxx
Sending you lots of love and support. All I can think is that HP is probably sparing you more pain by not being able to be in contact with him. Remember your A isn't alone, HP is with him.
Lots of love and prayer for you. As someone else said inside the A is the person we knew and love. So difficult to watch them go down that road. I'll keep you both in my prayers. Remember to take care of you.
