Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sadako · sadako

my A boyfriend has had problems and i've posted about them here. always, he's apologized or made some sort of amend. always, he's said "i love you and i want to be with you forever." i know that may be a cliche, but i'm 42 and very ill and disabled, i live in housing, i'm on the dole completely - i a...

Sincerely · Sincerely

The Glue That Holds It Together! It makes me sick!!! I am tired of being the glue! My A had a court date today which stemed from an arguement with the neighbors. He left his cash at home and asked me to bring it to him so that he could bond out. I was at work. I didn't get in an uproar, but it did make me nerv...

DaddysLilGirl · DaddysLilGirl

Hi everyone! It's been over 2 years since I've been on this forum, but I just got another email reminding me about it and I decided to log on. Here's a quick recap as to why I started coming on here in the first place. Alcoholism runs in my family....the one that hits home the most is my father. My father...

suzip · suzip

I started running Memorial Day weekend and havent looked back. When people used to tell me there is a runners high I used to say huh?? Now I know what they mean. My life with my Ah keeps me on a rollercoaster of emotions days are up and then then they come crashing down, but the only thing I have is control ove...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, I wrote in my previous post today about being upset with my addict husband and waiting for him to come home after being gone all night. Well I did what I normally do when I am so angry I can't put two thoughts together, I cleaned house. I figure it is a great way to release all that negative energy and h...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

We had a "situation" last night, our oldest son and his fiance' were in a terrible fight. They live close enough that he came to our home just moments before we headed off to bed. The husband and I "listened" step one in service. We did not tell him what to do. We did make a few &q...

suzip · suzip

Isn't this the best way to look at life in general? Trying to live thru this day only, not tackle all my problems at once...sometimes it is hard to do, not to look ahead at what is to come. It gets overwhelming to wonder about the future, what if this or that, lets just live for today. -- Edited by suzip at 18...

albertarose · albertarose

Hello! Not sure if this is the right place to seek some suggestions on this topic or not, but I will give it a try. Over the past little while in our closed meetings a few members are bringing their children to the meetings. The children are 0-9 years of age. Now, I know this is a family disease and noone shou...

mslouise · mslouise

If you have read my last post I have been down lately. Very stressed, family issues, abfsober lost job, etc. So for the last couple of days, I have not been smiling too much. My bf keeps asking me what is wrong, what has changed? Frankly, now-a-days, I am trying to work out some of my own stuff by my...

Alone · Alone

Does the maddness ever end? Besides being married to an A, my brother is a meth addict. Recently he ask me to write a letter to a judge saying he's been attending NA, this would keep him from going to jail. Why can't he write his own letter? I don't get it, why wouldn't he just attend NA now he wants to com...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Last night I had this conversation on the phone with a guy I chatted with on the internet and again I think I'm doomed to be alone until I leave this place... BUT The interesting thing was that the guy started talking about how he was going to get back together with his ex girlfriend and when I asked him why s...

alliecat · alliecat

Just wanted to say hi...Would someone respond so i can see if anyone was able to read this.... Cathy

queenie105 · queenie105

Hi Family, You may recall my post from the other day about AH being home from rehab and me being terribly unhappy about it. While I try to work my program to the best of my ability, I do know that attitude, and how I react to things plays an important role in my recovery. Could it be that he's lied to me so muc...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

It is odd that after all I have been through in the past week that I am back in a place where I have been ohhh so many times before. I last spoke to my AH at 5:17 yesterday and have not heard from at all since then. It is now 9:40 a.m.. My old ways are so wanting to come back, call him just to see if he answers. Go over...

Jen57 · Jen57

Hi - I'm brand new here and new to Al Anon, too. My husband is a constant complainer: his job, little things that happen, our house, how he feels, etc. I would wager that at least 50% of his comments throughout the day are negative. He whines and whines and does little or nothing to take care of his problems...

Tracy · Tracy

Just been to a f2f wow the topic was choices within my share I explained I find it very easy to see what choices should make to improve their lives however my choices tend to be better for other not me. lately I have been maker better choices because I am worried about the impact on my kids. Also I realise I...

txlexi2 · txlexi2

I have been unable to access the chatroom at all today. Is anyone else having trouble or is it just my comp acting up?

MotherTeresa · MotherTeresa

Hi, My husband is 30 years sober , son alcoholic...sometimes drug use. Son has a history of depresssion, and escalating alcohol use, has lived away, then home for a couple of years. He left home abruptly 2 weeks ago to get work in a new city. Detaching...with love is my aim. I have been back to Alanon aft...

Karen52 · Karen52

This is my first time in a forum of this type. We recently had a HUGE situation with my partner that has brought all of the crap from the past into the forefront. I will be the first to admit that I am codependant. I am the eldest daughter of an alcoholic mother - with two younger siblings. My second (decease...

afmom03 · afmom03

OH BOY! This isn't good! My Ex-AH's birthday is coming up soon and I am soooooooooo tempted to buy him a card! We have been apart for over a year and a half now and divorced for 3 months and I still find my self itchin' to step out of my boundaries and see if he'll respond back by sending him a card or calling him...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Position Desired Place in heaven hearing God (my HP) say, "Job well done". Objective Maintain sanity while enjoying the precious gifts I've been given and continue to receive. Education Alanon Tools including: 12 Steps, Meetings, Traditions, Concepts, Slogans, Prayer and...

Tracy · Tracy

My Ab rang me last night he was very angrey he had had a huge fight with his sister who is a drug user uncle who is an A he got physical with uncle and everyone left the house. I tried to calm him. He tried every trick in the book to manipulate me to rescue him again. I kept passing his probs back to him. He was...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Good morning all! Today is a great day! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and I woke up with a smile on my face. When I woke up this morning, realized so many things. I am happier today than I have been in a very long time. Why?....because I dont have to deal with anyone elses problems! I dont ha...

littleflower · littleflower

Hello everyone, i just signed up for this site this morning, and been reading alot on herer. I'm just at the point where i dont know what to do anymore. First of all, my hubby has started back to drinking the last couple of weeks after being sober for 7 years. And everything with his life is a mess to hear him...

Tracy · Tracy

My AB rand earlier and asked if I would come and pick him up. I asked him if he had been drinking said he had only had two. I told him I was not coming to get him. We are supposed to be having a break and he is supposed to be sorting out his life so we can have a normal relationship. I have been attending F2f mee...

Codependent · Codependent

Prior to my A going to jail he was seeing another girl- who I, of course, thought was inappropriate- an unneccesary judgement on my part I know. While he was incarcerated we talked about her- she apparently sent lots of letters, etc. He told me it wasn't anything serious, but that he genuinely liked h...

Diva · Diva

Lesson learned here? None! Judge dismissed the case without hearing a word of testimony. Big smile on A's face upon returning home. *sigh* Diva

Codependent · Codependent

I keep thinking that when he was incarcerated we got along so well. I know that sounds stupid, but we had great phone converstations, visits, etc. When he got out he was sweet and eager to be with me. I tried to go with this, but also said stuff like "maybe we can't get along" "we argue a...

SammyQ · SammyQ

I wrote here last week asking for advice on how to stop hating the alcoholic in my life. I was gearing up to go to an Al-Anon meeting or get some counselling, but now I'm saying to with it. I saw some things my mother wrote for her therapy group, and I am SAVAGE. There was a lot on there that made me mad, but o...

maresie · maresie

karilyn Please update all of us on your precious Pipers. I am keeping those prayers and warm love and hugs coming to you. My little girl Ruby (who has lost her collar somewhere in her exploits is also really giving her paws up for Pipers. Lots of love and hugs to you. The weekend is almost upon us! Ma...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), Piper is home. The vet called yesterday morning. Her fever had gone down. They still don't know what caused it. They wanted her to stay there until late afternoon so she could finish her IV. I spent some time with her before I went to work. My friend (her benefactress) picked he...

greta · greta

I just had a 2 day visit from my kids, it was insightful. For those who have followed my alanon journey, my daughter it seems has finally recovered not only physically, but mentally from her car accident she is doing so great. HP truely answers our prayers. All three of us had a good talk about the wr...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, As some of you know, my A-step mother has been diagnosed with lung cancer which has now spread to her brain. I had not been on speaking terms with her but had offered to bring her daughters by car from the airport etc. Today my father asked me to call to the house and Barbara and I talked cordially a...

round3 · round3

I thought this past weekend would be nice. And from first glance, it was. My birthday was Saturday, and several of my friends got together and threw a party for me at a restaurant that night. Kind of a birthday/"last hurrah" before my SABF moves in with me in two weeks. The party was a lot o...

abbyal · abbyal

1- AN INCREASED TENDENCY TO LET THINGS HAPPEN RATHER THAN MAKE THEM HAPPEN . 2-FREQUENT ATTACKS OF SMILING. 3- FEELINGS OF BEING CONNECTED WITH OTHERS AND NATURE 4-FREQUENT OVERWHELMING EPISODES OF APPRECIATION 5-A TENDENCEY TO THINK AND ACT SPONTANEOUSLY RATHER THAN FROM FEARS BASED ON PAST EXP...

liljeannie · liljeannie

As I start this post, my stomach is churning and my hands are shaking. Today I am going to my abf's grandfathers b-day lunch. I am very fearful of what may happen and how I will handle it. In a past post, I explained about a family occasion that I was not invited to. My A's parents are divorced, so only on...

abbyal · abbyal

Ever wonder *why our prayers don't seem to heard * BROKEN TOYS As children bring thier broken toys with tears for us to mend I brought my brocken dreams to God because he was my friend But instead of leaving HIM in peace to work alone I hung around and tried to help with ways that were my own At last I snatc...

Diva · Diva

He must go and answer a charge of public intoxication. He is on his own. He has all of his evidence to his innocence, and I actually believe he will beat the charge. Asked whether he wanted a jury, he opted to let the judge decide. He has a silver tongue, he is charming beyond description, and he speaks...

Tracy · Tracy

I am so angery with myself my Ab is still in his mums but we have chatted on the phone again he has tried to start cycle but I carnt take anymore I need to see action. Why am I doing this why dont I just get rid of him. I saw him today on my way home from work he was out side the dole he is on state benefits he was goin...

Diobalikal · Diobalikal

Hi, I am new here, and not sure if it will help. I have just been searching the net for places or ideas. My G/F is an alcoholic. I have just recently found out how bad she really is. Of course I have gone through the natural, first reactions of anger, pleading etc...I don't know what to do next. I don't want t...

mslouise · mslouise

This morning I am of mixed emotions. I noticed that I put alot of pressure on myself and it is tiring. Does anyone else feel this way? Like if you are having a bad day or even a moment, that you think - shouldn't be doing that, or shouldn't think that way. I just get tired of "working" on thin...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Here it is Tuesday morning and its been 4 days since I spoke with my ex ABF who is in rehab. I took the advise offered by some members of this board to detach for a weekend to see how I felt. I have to be honest, it feels great. Detaching from him for a weekend and knowing he is safe in rehab allowed me to trul...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I realize its sorta late to mention this but there is a meteor shower late tonight. Actually its supposed to peak at 7 am est but I bet I'm going to be able to see some shooting stars before the sun comes out. Its a beautiful night for this too. So cool and clear. I went outside for a while and can't believe h...

Codependent · Codependent

I haven't decided that I want the A to see his son- it's been over 6 months, but it bothers me that he hasn't really pushed to see him. Just mentioned it casually once. I guess I shouldn't be suprised by this.

Codependent · Codependent

It has occurred to me that when I truly "like" somebody I can not relax in a relationship. It also is true that I try to insist that they do what I want them to do then overreact when they don't. You would think it was good that I have discovered this about myself but now I find myself worrying abou...

pixel04 · pixel04

Hi guys, I went to a meeting last night where the topic was conscious contact with a power greater than ourselves. Specifically, how do we do it, and how do we know we are being heard? I hadn't really ever verbalized this before, so it was good for me to think about. What immediately came to mind,...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Still working two jobs, still raising three kids alone, still fat and single but I'm actually at the point where I am happy about it most of the time. So I guess not much has changed except my attitude. I am still working with the social service agency for my oldest and that is helping. Every month I man...

KimG143 · KimG143

I spoke my truth in my papers to the court and after hearing both sides the judge ordered random toxicology tests, a complete alcohol evaluation, and conseling for my AH. Based on those reports the judge will have us back in court on the 22nd to make a ruling on custody and granting overnight visitatio...

SuSUN · SuSUN

Got some information on the groups-meetings. Also got the name of a Dr. that specializes in Alcoholism....of course the client themselves have to access this. AH is a long way from that. I just feel more confident knowing that there is help for him when he decides enoughs enough. If that ever happens,...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), On top of gieving for the loss of my beloved Tim, Pipers needs your prayers. She hasn't been eating and has been lethargic and coughing. I ran her down to the vets at the local PetSmart. Our vet lives 35 miles away, doesn't make house calls and I don't drive. She has a fever and they a...

BK911 · BK911

He's going to therapy. He's "weaned" down to 1-2 drinks a day. While I'm around that is. This way he leaves the door open to binge when I'm not around. Last week I took the kids on vacation and he binged the whole time I was gone, and denied it of course. He's so proud that he's only drinking a...

Tracy · Tracy

I have asked my AB to leave I have finally realised I am powerless and that I have a addiction I am a fixer, co dependent put everyones needs before my own. I am trying to concentrate on my life and I do believe in HP. However I am finding step 3 really hard I know I carnt change my AB, Iknow my life is a mess I try...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, The situation with my step-mother's health has worsened. The initial lung cancer has now spread to the brain. She is coming home on Monday and I have managed to detach and realise that alcoholism is an illness like any other. I am going to do the taxiing, collecting her daughters at the airpor...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Today has been the most vile day and it has all gone horribly wrong. The family is so used to being horrible to each other and now that mum is away it has not stopped. The two eldest, girls in the early teens are vile and the language is awful. against my daughters advice I allowed both girls to have friend...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I was just thinking how greatful I am for zoloft. I had started to feel annoyed by my baby and just wanted everyone to leave me alone. I wanted to run away. Its been about 7 weeks now that I've been on zoloft and I have noticed I don't get automatically angry at everything. My patience with the baby is back li...

buick23 · buick23

After no communication with my Asober for 3 days since I took care of my car, I broke the silence. I asked him why he hasn't said a word to me, and mentioned that we hadn't done anything together in 3 weeks. He blamed me of course but I didn't take it. I told him to stop blaming everything on me. I stood up for my...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, I saw the A this weekend. Actually went out with him Friday night. Had my son go to my cousin's for the weekend so he wouldn't be in the mess. When I first saw the A, I thought I can handle this. I'm not even attracted to him at all anymore. Then it was like the more time I have spent with him- the mor...

Codependent · Codependent

I find myself asking that question a lot lately. With bills, mortgage, responsiblites, kids, the things I do to self destruct-things to make myself feel better which only make me feel worse, stressful job, attempts to make friends and relationships, taking care of an elderly grandmother, feelin...

maresie · maresie

I was not invited to a lunch at work. Who knows why. It is for someone I have been really closely involved with. I have helped the person since day 1, even now I am setting things up for them. Before I would have made a sarcastic remark. I would even have said something. I have told a friend (at work) that I am...

KimG143 · KimG143

Hi All, After 10 months of Al Anon and gaining the strength I needed to leave my AH and take my daughter with me I have come into the wonderful world of the judicial system. When all I was hoping for is for him to get some help to stop drinking so he could have a healthy relationship with our daughter I got an AH...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	the love, the relationship: all of it, lies (Preview) my A boyfriend has had problems and i've posted about them here. always, he's apologized or made some sort of amend. always, he's said "i love you and i want to be with you forever." i know that may be a cliche, but i'm 42 and very ill and disabled, i live in housing, i'm on the dole completely - i a...	sadako	3	669	Aug 16, 2008 by sadako
	The Glue That Holds It Together...Me (Preview) The Glue That Holds It Together! It makes me sick!!! I am tired of being the glue! My A had a court date today which stemed from an arguement with the neighbors. He left his cash at home and asked me to bring it to him so that he could bond out. I was at work. I didn't get in an uproar, but it did make me nerv...	Sincerely	6	485	Aug 16, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Great Progress!!!! (Preview) Hi everyone! It's been over 2 years since I've been on this forum, but I just got another email reminding me about it and I decided to log on. Here's a quick recap as to why I started coming on here in the first place. Alcoholism runs in my family....the one that hits home the most is my father. My father...	DaddysLilGirl	1	555	Aug 16, 2008 by CJ
	getting healthy for me (Preview) I started running Memorial Day weekend and havent looked back. When people used to tell me there is a runners high I used to say huh?? Now I know what they mean. My life with my Ah keeps me on a rollercoaster of emotions days are up and then then they come crashing down, but the only thing I have is control ove...	suzip	6	495	Aug 16, 2008 by Jean4444
	A spiritual Awakening while cleaning??????? (Preview) Hi all, I wrote in my previous post today about being upset with my addict husband and waiting for him to come home after being gone all night. Well I did what I normally do when I am so angry I can't put two thoughts together, I cleaned house. I figure it is a great way to release all that negative energy and h...	Mandy123	8	626	Aug 16, 2008 by Peggy7
	My example (Preview) We had a "situation" last night, our oldest son and his fiance' were in a terrible fight. They live close enough that he came to our home just moments before we headed off to bed. The husband and I "listened" step one in service. We did not tell him what to do. We did make a few &q...	Peggy7	4	552	Aug 15, 2008 by Dale
	one day at a time (Preview) Isn't this the best way to look at life in general? Trying to live thru this day only, not tackle all my problems at once...sometimes it is hard to do, not to look ahead at what is to come. It gets overwhelming to wonder about the future, what if this or that, lets just live for today. -- Edited by suzip at 18...	suzip	3	419	Aug 15, 2008 by Jean4444
	Concerns about children in a closed meeting (Preview) Hello! Not sure if this is the right place to seek some suggestions on this topic or not, but I will give it a try. Over the past little while in our closed meetings a few members are bringing their children to the meetings. The children are 0-9 years of age. Now, I know this is a family disease and noone shou...	albertarose	14	1185	Aug 15, 2008 by Jim C.
	Catch 22 and advise needed on son (Preview) If you have read my last post I have been down lately. Very stressed, family issues, abfsober lost job, etc. So for the last couple of days, I have not been smiling too much. My bf keeps asking me what is wrong, what has changed? Frankly, now-a-days, I am trying to work out some of my own stuff by my...	mslouise	8	511	Aug 15, 2008 by mcca9014
	Tell me the Truth (Preview) Does the maddness ever end? Besides being married to an A, my brother is a meth addict. Recently he ask me to write a letter to a judge saying he's been attending NA, this would keep him from going to jail. Why can't he write his own letter? I don't get it, why wouldn't he just attend NA now he wants to com...	Alone	16	663	Aug 15, 2008 by CJ
	My disease (Preview) Last night I had this conversation on the phone with a guy I chatted with on the internet and again I think I'm doomed to be alone until I leave this place... BUT The interesting thing was that the guy started talking about how he was going to get back together with his ex girlfriend and when I asked him why s...	carolinagirl	9	561	Aug 15, 2008 by maresie
	Hello (Preview) Just wanted to say hi...Would someone respond so i can see if anyone was able to read this.... Cathy	alliecat	2	328	Aug 15, 2008 by canadianguy
	Anyone have experience w/A getting out of rehab, how to cope? (Preview) Hi Family, You may recall my post from the other day about AH being home from rehab and me being terribly unhappy about it. While I try to work my program to the best of my ability, I do know that attitude, and how I react to things plays an important role in my recovery. Could it be that he's lied to me so muc...	queenie105	11	881	Aug 15, 2008 by mokoehn
	As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil (Preview) It is odd that after all I have been through in the past week that I am back in a place where I have been ohhh so many times before. I last spoke to my AH at 5:17 yesterday and have not heard from at all since then. It is now 9:40 a.m.. My old ways are so wanting to come back, call him just to see if he answers. Go over...	wildthang86	6	690	Aug 15, 2008 by mokoehn
	Unhooking from complaining? (Preview) Hi - I'm brand new here and new to Al Anon, too. My husband is a constant complainer: his job, little things that happen, our house, how he feels, etc. I would wager that at least 50% of his comments throughout the day are negative. He whines and whines and does little or nothing to take care of his problems...	Jen57	11	1043	Aug 15, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	choices (Preview) Just been to a f2f wow the topic was choices within my share I explained I find it very easy to see what choices should make to improve their lives however my choices tend to be better for other not me. lately I have been maker better choices because I am worried about the impact on my kids. Also I realise I...	Tracy	5	536	Aug 15, 2008 by Jean4444
	chatroom unavailable? (Preview) I have been unable to access the chatroom at all today. Is anyone else having trouble or is it just my comp acting up?	txlexi2	2	267	Aug 14, 2008 by wp
	Sad and concerned, first post (Preview) Hi, My husband is 30 years sober , son alcoholic...sometimes drug use. Son has a history of depresssion, and escalating alcohol use, has lived away, then home for a couple of years. He left home abruptly 2 weeks ago to get work in a new city. Detaching...with love is my aim. I have been back to Alanon aft...	MotherTeresa	6	688	Aug 14, 2008 by lin0606
	new here (Preview) This is my first time in a forum of this type. We recently had a HUGE situation with my partner that has brought all of the crap from the past into the forefront. I will be the first to admit that I am codependant. I am the eldest daughter of an alcoholic mother - with two younger siblings. My second (decease...	Karen52	7	438	Aug 14, 2008 by lin0606
	Somebody Slap My hands! (Preview) OH BOY! This isn't good! My Ex-AH's birthday is coming up soon and I am soooooooooo tempted to buy him a card! We have been apart for over a year and a half now and divorced for 3 months and I still find my self itchin' to step out of my boundaries and see if he'll respond back by sending him a card or calling him...	afmom03	5	534	Aug 14, 2008 by Sincerely
	My Resume' (Preview) Position Desired Place in heaven hearing God (my HP) say, "Job well done". Objective Maintain sanity while enjoying the precious gifts I've been given and continue to receive. Education Alanon Tools including: 12 Steps, Meetings, Traditions, Concepts, Slogans, Prayer and...	Peggy7	6	589	Aug 14, 2008 by tea2
	drama (Preview) My Ab rang me last night he was very angrey he had had a huge fight with his sister who is a drug user uncle who is an A he got physical with uncle and everyone left the house. I tried to calm him. He tried every trick in the book to manipulate me to rescue him again. I kept passing his probs back to him. He was...	Tracy	1	422	Aug 14, 2008 by rtexas
	Day by Day (Preview) Good morning all! Today is a great day! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and I woke up with a smile on my face. When I woke up this morning, realized so many things. I am happier today than I have been in a very long time. Why?....because I dont have to deal with anyone elses problems! I dont ha...	liljeannie	2	444	Aug 14, 2008 by Tracy
	Newie, here!!!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) Hello everyone, i just signed up for this site this morning, and been reading alot on herer. I'm just at the point where i dont know what to do anymore. First of all, my hubby has started back to drinking the last couple of weeks after being sober for 7 years. And everything with his life is a mess to hear him...	littleflower	4	483	Aug 14, 2008 by Karen52
	keeping strong (Preview) My AB rand earlier and asked if I would come and pick him up. I asked him if he had been drinking said he had only had two. I told him I was not coming to get him. We are supposed to be having a break and he is supposed to be sorting out his life so we can have a normal relationship. I have been attending F2f mee...	Tracy	2	561	Aug 14, 2008 by Jerry F
	The other woman (Preview) Prior to my A going to jail he was seeing another girl- who I, of course, thought was inappropriate- an unneccesary judgement on my part I know. While he was incarcerated we talked about her- she apparently sent lots of letters, etc. He told me it wasn't anything serious, but that he genuinely liked h...	Codependent	4	546	Aug 14, 2008 by CJ
	Case Dismissed!!!! (Preview) Lesson learned here? None! Judge dismissed the case without hearing a word of testimony. Big smile on A's face upon returning home. sigh Diva	Diva	11	655	Aug 13, 2008 by Diva
	Did my insecurity and anxiety push him away? (Preview) I keep thinking that when he was incarcerated we got along so well. I know that sounds stupid, but we had great phone converstations, visits, etc. When he got out he was sweet and eager to be with me. I tried to go with this, but also said stuff like "maybe we can't get along" "we argue a...	Codependent	4	1679	Aug 13, 2008 by Sincerely
	I haven't even started and I give up already (Preview) I wrote here last week asking for advice on how to stop hating the alcoholic in my life. I was gearing up to go to an Al-Anon meeting or get some counselling, but now I'm saying to with it. I saw some things my mother wrote for her therapy group, and I am SAVAGE. There was a lot on there that made me mad, but o...	SammyQ	5	528	Aug 13, 2008 by CJ
	Karilyn please update us (Preview) karilyn Please update all of us on your precious Pipers. I am keeping those prayers and warm love and hugs coming to you. My little girl Ruby (who has lost her collar somewhere in her exploits is also really giving her paws up for Pipers. Lots of love and hugs to you. The weekend is almost upon us! Ma...	maresie	0	317	Aug 13, 2008 by maresie
	Piper update. (Preview) (((((Family)))), Piper is home. The vet called yesterday morning. Her fever had gone down. They still don't know what caused it. They wanted her to stay there until late afternoon so she could finish her IV. I spent some time with her before I went to work. My friend (her benefactress) picked he...	Karilynn	12	674	Aug 13, 2008 by Lexie
	Just some thoughts (Preview) I just had a 2 day visit from my kids, it was insightful. For those who have followed my alanon journey, my daughter it seems has finally recovered not only physically, but mentally from her car accident she is doing so great. HP truely answers our prayers. All three of us had a good talk about the wr...	greta	2	432	Aug 13, 2008 by tiredtonite
	Making peace with A's (Preview) Dear All, As some of you know, my A-step mother has been diagnosed with lung cancer which has now spread to her brain. I had not been on speaking terms with her but had offered to bring her daughters by car from the airport etc. Today my father asked me to call to the house and Barbara and I talked cordially a...	maire rua	5	474	Aug 13, 2008 by Jean4444
	Emotional Rollercoaster (Preview) I thought this past weekend would be nice. And from first glance, it was. My birthday was Saturday, and several of my friends got together and threw a party for me at a restaurant that night. Kind of a birthday/"last hurrah" before my SABF moves in with me in two weeks. The party was a lot o...	round3	5	498	Aug 13, 2008 by round3
	12 signs of a Spiritual Awakening (Preview) 1- AN INCREASED TENDENCY TO LET THINGS HAPPEN RATHER THAN MAKE THEM HAPPEN . 2-FREQUENT ATTACKS OF SMILING. 3- FEELINGS OF BEING CONNECTED WITH OTHERS AND NATURE 4-FREQUENT OVERWHELMING EPISODES OF APPRECIATION 5-A TENDENCEY TO THINK AND ACT SPONTANEOUSLY RATHER THAN FROM FEARS BASED ON PAST EXP...	abbyal	3	1289	Aug 12, 2008 by Jean4444
	Rain or shine (Preview) As I start this post, my stomach is churning and my hands are shaking. Today I am going to my abf's grandfathers b-day lunch. I am very fearful of what may happen and how I will handle it. In a past post, I explained about a family occasion that I was not invited to. My A's parents are divorced, so only on...	liljeannie	3	390	Aug 12, 2008 by Maria123
	A PRAYER (Preview) Ever wonder why our prayers don't seem to heard BROKEN TOYS As children bring thier broken toys with tears for us to mend I brought my brocken dreams to God because he was my friend But instead of leaving HIM in peace to work alone I hung around and tried to help with ways that were my own At last I snatc...	abbyal	2	406	Aug 12, 2008 by Maria123
	Court time: 2:00 p.m. this afternoon. (Preview) He must go and answer a charge of public intoxication. He is on his own. He has all of his evidence to his innocence, and I actually believe he will beat the charge. Asked whether he wanted a jury, he opted to let the judge decide. He has a silver tongue, he is charming beyond description, and he speaks...	Diva	7	451	Aug 12, 2008 by maire rua
	self esteem (Preview) I am so angery with myself my Ab is still in his mums but we have chatted on the phone again he has tried to start cycle but I carnt take anymore I need to see action. Why am I doing this why dont I just get rid of him. I saw him today on my way home from work he was out side the dole he is on state benefits he was goin...	Tracy	3	521	Aug 12, 2008 by maire rua
	Hi, new and banging my head against the wall (Preview) Hi, I am new here, and not sure if it will help. I have just been searching the net for places or ideas. My G/F is an alcoholic. I have just recently found out how bad she really is. Of course I have gone through the natural, first reactions of anger, pleading etc...I don't know what to do next. I don't want t...	Diobalikal	8	601	Aug 12, 2008 by Diobalikal
	Anyone have these days? (Preview) This morning I am of mixed emotions. I noticed that I put alot of pressure on myself and it is tiring. Does anyone else feel this way? Like if you are having a bad day or even a moment, that you think - shouldn't be doing that, or shouldn't think that way. I just get tired of "working" on thin...	mslouise	6	516	Aug 12, 2008 by mslouise
	Some conclusions (Preview) Here it is Tuesday morning and its been 4 days since I spoke with my ex ABF who is in rehab. I took the advise offered by some members of this board to detach for a weekend to see how I felt. I have to be honest, it feels great. Detaching from him for a weekend and knowing he is safe in rehab allowed me to trul...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	3	440	Aug 12, 2008 by Alone
	Fellow Stargazers (Preview) I realize its sorta late to mention this but there is a meteor shower late tonight. Actually its supposed to peak at 7 am est but I bet I'm going to be able to see some shooting stars before the sun comes out. Its a beautiful night for this too. So cool and clear. I went outside for a while and can't believe h...	StargazerLily	4	441	Aug 12, 2008 by kitty
	Why hasn't he asked to see his son? (Preview) I haven't decided that I want the A to see his son- it's been over 6 months, but it bothers me that he hasn't really pushed to see him. Just mentioned it casually once. I guess I shouldn't be suprised by this.	Codependent	5	508	Aug 12, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Worrier- Never Able to Have Relationship (Preview) It has occurred to me that when I truly "like" somebody I can not relax in a relationship. It also is true that I try to insist that they do what I want them to do then overreact when they don't. You would think it was good that I have discovered this about myself but now I find myself worrying abou...	Codependent	4	466	Aug 12, 2008 by carolinagirl
	conscious contact with HP (Preview) Hi guys, I went to a meeting last night where the topic was conscious contact with a power greater than ourselves. Specifically, how do we do it, and how do we know we are being heard? I hadn't really ever verbalized this before, so it was good for me to think about. What immediately came to mind,...	pixel04	3	402	Aug 12, 2008 by Pi
	Update (Preview) Still working two jobs, still raising three kids alone, still fat and single but I'm actually at the point where I am happy about it most of the time. So I guess not much has changed except my attitude. I am still working with the social service agency for my oldest and that is helping. Every month I man...	carolinagirl	5	351	Aug 12, 2008 by round3
	Court (Preview) I spoke my truth in my papers to the court and after hearing both sides the judge ordered random toxicology tests, a complete alcohol evaluation, and conseling for my AH. Based on those reports the judge will have us back in court on the 22nd to make a ruling on custody and granting overnight visitatio...	KimG143	5	624	Aug 12, 2008 by Jerry F
	Made that first call today to Al-Anon (Preview) Got some information on the groups-meetings. Also got the name of a Dr. that specializes in Alcoholism....of course the client themselves have to access this. AH is a long way from that. I just feel more confident knowing that there is help for him when he decides enoughs enough. If that ever happens,...	SuSUN	4	390	Aug 11, 2008 by SuSUN
	Prayers for Pipers Please (Preview) (((((Family))))), On top of gieving for the loss of my beloved Tim, Pipers needs your prayers. She hasn't been eating and has been lethargic and coughing. I ran her down to the vets at the local PetSmart. Our vet lives 35 miles away, doesn't make house calls and I don't drive. She has a fever and they a...	Karilynn	26	830	Aug 11, 2008 by kitty
	He won't quit drinking and I can't live with it anymore (Preview) He's going to therapy. He's "weaned" down to 1-2 drinks a day. While I'm around that is. This way he leaves the door open to binge when I'm not around. Last week I took the kids on vacation and he binged the whole time I was gone, and denied it of course. He's so proud that he's only drinking a...	BK911	5	531	Aug 11, 2008 by DDnurse
	lonely (Preview) I have asked my AB to leave I have finally realised I am powerless and that I have a addiction I am a fixer, co dependent put everyones needs before my own. I am trying to concentrate on my life and I do believe in HP. However I am finding step 3 really hard I know I carnt change my AB, Iknow my life is a mess I try...	Tracy	6	430	Aug 11, 2008 by maresie
	situation with step mother and father (Preview) Dear All, The situation with my step-mother's health has worsened. The initial lung cancer has now spread to the brain. She is coming home on Monday and I have managed to detach and realise that alcoholism is an illness like any other. I am going to do the taxiing, collecting her daughters at the airpor...	maire rua	3	471	Aug 11, 2008 by maresie
	It's all gone horribly wrong...LONG and PAINFUL (Preview) Today has been the most vile day and it has all gone horribly wrong. The family is so used to being horrible to each other and now that mum is away it has not stopped. The two eldest, girls in the early teens are vile and the language is awful. against my daughters advice I allowed both girls to have friend...	Suzannah	6	588	Aug 11, 2008 by maresie
	The zoloft is working (Preview) I was just thinking how greatful I am for zoloft. I had started to feel annoyed by my baby and just wanted everyone to leave me alone. I wanted to run away. Its been about 7 weeks now that I've been on zoloft and I have noticed I don't get automatically angry at everything. My patience with the baby is back li...	StargazerLily	2	457	Aug 11, 2008 by BK911
	standing up for myself (Preview) After no communication with my Asober for 3 days since I took care of my car, I broke the silence. I asked him why he hasn't said a word to me, and mentioned that we hadn't done anything together in 3 weeks. He blamed me of course but I didn't take it. I told him to stop blaming everything on me. I stood up for my...	buick23	4	447	Aug 11, 2008 by BK911
	Oh so confused...feel like I'm addicted to him anyway... (Preview) Well, I saw the A this weekend. Actually went out with him Friday night. Had my son go to my cousin's for the weekend so he wouldn't be in the mess. When I first saw the A, I thought I can handle this. I'm not even attracted to him at all anymore. Then it was like the more time I have spent with him- the mor...	Codependent	3	419	Aug 11, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Does life ever just seem to hard? (Preview) I find myself asking that question a lot lately. With bills, mortgage, responsiblites, kids, the things I do to self destruct-things to make myself feel better which only make me feel worse, stressful job, attempts to make friends and relationships, taking care of an elderly grandmother, feelin...	Codependent	2	461	Aug 11, 2008 by ddub
	doing beter an example (Preview) I was not invited to a lunch at work. Who knows why. It is for someone I have been really closely involved with. I have helped the person since day 1, even now I am setting things up for them. Before I would have made a sarcastic remark. I would even have said something. I have told a friend (at work) that I am...	maresie	5	451	Aug 11, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	AH husband says I have no proof (Preview) Hi All, After 10 months of Al Anon and gaining the strength I needed to leave my AH and take my daughter with me I have come into the wonderful world of the judicial system. When all I was hoping for is for him to get some help to stop drinking so he could have a healthy relationship with our daughter I got an AH...	KimG143	6	433	Aug 11, 2008 by canadianguy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.