Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Its been 11 days since I spoke with my ex A b/f, now "friend from a distance". As you may recall, I took the advice from members on this board to detatch for a weekend and do things for me. Well, I have to admit this 'doing things for me' is GREAT. These past 11 days have been relaxing, fun, stre...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Boy howdy do I get a curve ball thrown into the works at times. This is the direct result of my youngest, who, when not binge drinking (which she doesn't come home when she's doing that as she knows my boundaries), insists on hooking back up with ex BFs that apparently she has memory loss of why they were an...

Suzannah · Suzannah

...Hello family...this is just a quickie as I am not in a position to talk with you as I would really like to at this moment in time. The situation with my daughter and her financee and here children has gone from bad to worse and, all the good intentions I had to give her and her boyfriend time out to get to kn...

suzip · suzip

I have been spending weekends at the beach with friends trying to escape from the rollercoaster life I live with my AH. How more relaxed can you get then looking out at the ocean, listening to the waves, how can you not smile? When I ran my 4 miles in the morning yesterday, I couldn't get rid of my stinkin th...

mslouise · mslouise

Well, I made it to work today. Almost called in sick but didn't. That, I can say, is a big progress for myself. I did not sleep one ounce last night and frankly have been down lately, but I pulled myself up and here I am. I spent the weekend on my first snorkling trip ever with my Abfsober. I was ve...

charlescharles · charlescharles

hello folks..its been a while i'm sitting here in a sort of amazed confusion as my a..who went out last night and got lit...who threatened suicide last week...is now asking me if i think she would make a good mother and if we could try and have a baby together i feel like she is out of here mind at this point y...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, The update on my step mother's illness is that all wish to keep her at home as long as possible. I do the washing and collecting at airports. We are very cordial with one another and though I feel pain at the situation, I practise detaching. I went to the seaside yesterday for a break which was gre...

teddybearpoet · teddybearpoet

Ok.. Its been a VERY looooooooooong time since i have done this.. I have missed coming to chat and to the posting boards.. however.. back to topic.. I have been feeling really lost lately.. have been having alot of feelings up all at once.. yesterday i journaled one page about it.. saying how i was not o...

nmike · nmike

Just checked my e-mail today after being out of town for several days. I had given up on this job because it is going on 4 weeks since I turned my application in. This job reopened so this is the second time around. So I have an interview next Friday. Woohoo! I haven't interviewed in years. I did buy a new out...

marchgrl · marchgrl

Hi Everyone! I used to be a member of this board years back and I just wanted to say hello to everyone! A little bit about me.... I was raised with an alcoholic mother. I became an alcoholic myself at age 18. I have been battling addiction/sobriety since age 27 when I vowed to quit. I have relapsed sinc...

Codependent · Codependent

Yes, I am still sitting here obsessing. I know I have to stop this. I think he can feel it and why I care what he thinks we all know. I want to be different, but I think I want to be different because I think this will earn a positive reaction from him. You know what I mean? I want to stop calling him, but par...

Gailey · Gailey

This morning my youger son and dil left for Japan to live for the next 3 years. They will come back for a visit Christmas 2009. My son is in the Navy and he met his wife in Japan when he was stationed there before. He will be on sea duty for this time. I am happy that she can be with her family while he is out to sea....

MotherTeresa · MotherTeresa

Okay, am obsessing, needing to vent, phew, working on not enabling. So when my son calls back about,losing wallet, car towed and, no ID at present to retrieve it. We(husband and me) had agreed...after many situations like this, we would not just send money etc. Anyhow, after husband spoke somewh...

codependent_who_knew · codependent_who_knew

My husband and I have been married for 6 years, together 7 and have two beautiful children together. We are soulmates.....when we met, we just knew,. Well, ong story short, we both have had crappy childhoods and we vowed to never allow that with ours.....He was using Vicodin about 5.5 years ago and wen...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Maybe this post should have been titled, two steps forward, one step back....Anyway, I went to work this morning, and if any of you read my post last night, you know I went there alone. No idea when abf came home from his walk, dont really care, I slept. Called him on my way home from work, he was happy, in...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Just when you think things are gonna blow up, he apologizes Just when you think you are gonna go stir crazy, he suggests a walk Just when you think you are getting old, he brings out the child in you Just when you think its gonna be a lousy day, he makes you smile... Funny, this was not my hp, it was my abf. If...

mcca9014 · mcca9014

Hi i am new here, but not new to al-anon. I have a 14 year old in recovery. I am proud of him but it is a hard road. He said his biggist problem is boredom. I have to work and so he has been alone a lot especially this week. He relapsed last night after 29 days. I am so disappointed and I am jealous of other moms who...

liljeannie · liljeannie

As I gain emotional independece from my A, my financial situation is sooo completely dependent upon him. I hate this. I hate having to bite my tongue so that this doesnt get thrown in my face. Today I went to lunch with two of my sons, who are grown and live with their dad, early 20's, a friend, and her son...

twinkie · twinkie

its been a while since I've posted.... and I find myself totally stressed out, irritable and trying to force solutions... I was doing so well, so what happened? In a very stressful job with a lot of intensity - lots of politics - it gets to be too mcuh for me. Lots of folks work non-stop and on the weekends...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((Family)))), Thanks for all your love and prayers for Pipers and I. Piper the Pouncing Puma is doing much better. She swatted my cheek yesterday morning in order to get me up! I let her outside yesterday. I know the vet said not to, but it greatly improved her mood. I take her back on Monday for a...

saponilady · saponilady

Hi this is my first time posting. I have a sister that is 5 years younger than me with an 8-year-old daughter. My sister is an alcoholic and meth addict. She has been going through this for almost 10 years but just recently came out in the open and sought treatment last year....sad thing is she is on...

sadako · sadako

my A boyfriend has had problems and i've posted about them here. always, he's apologized or made some sort of amend. always, he's said "i love you and i want to be with you forever." i know that may be a cliche, but i'm 42 and very ill and disabled, i live in housing, i'm on the dole completely - i a...

Sincerely · Sincerely

The Glue That Holds It Together! It makes me sick!!! I am tired of being the glue! My A had a court date today which stemed from an arguement with the neighbors. He left his cash at home and asked me to bring it to him so that he could bond out. I was at work. I didn't get in an uproar, but it did make me nerv...

DaddysLilGirl · DaddysLilGirl

Hi everyone! It's been over 2 years since I've been on this forum, but I just got another email reminding me about it and I decided to log on. Here's a quick recap as to why I started coming on here in the first place. Alcoholism runs in my family....the one that hits home the most is my father. My father...

suzip · suzip

I started running Memorial Day weekend and havent looked back. When people used to tell me there is a runners high I used to say huh?? Now I know what they mean. My life with my Ah keeps me on a rollercoaster of emotions days are up and then then they come crashing down, but the only thing I have is control ove...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, I wrote in my previous post today about being upset with my addict husband and waiting for him to come home after being gone all night. Well I did what I normally do when I am so angry I can't put two thoughts together, I cleaned house. I figure it is a great way to release all that negative energy and h...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

We had a "situation" last night, our oldest son and his fiance' were in a terrible fight. They live close enough that he came to our home just moments before we headed off to bed. The husband and I "listened" step one in service. We did not tell him what to do. We did make a few &q...

suzip · suzip

Isn't this the best way to look at life in general? Trying to live thru this day only, not tackle all my problems at once...sometimes it is hard to do, not to look ahead at what is to come. It gets overwhelming to wonder about the future, what if this or that, lets just live for today. -- Edited by suzip at 18...

albertarose · albertarose

Hello! Not sure if this is the right place to seek some suggestions on this topic or not, but I will give it a try. Over the past little while in our closed meetings a few members are bringing their children to the meetings. The children are 0-9 years of age. Now, I know this is a family disease and noone shou...

mslouise · mslouise

If you have read my last post I have been down lately. Very stressed, family issues, abfsober lost job, etc. So for the last couple of days, I have not been smiling too much. My bf keeps asking me what is wrong, what has changed? Frankly, now-a-days, I am trying to work out some of my own stuff by my...

Alone · Alone

Does the maddness ever end? Besides being married to an A, my brother is a meth addict. Recently he ask me to write a letter to a judge saying he's been attending NA, this would keep him from going to jail. Why can't he write his own letter? I don't get it, why wouldn't he just attend NA now he wants to com...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Last night I had this conversation on the phone with a guy I chatted with on the internet and again I think I'm doomed to be alone until I leave this place... BUT The interesting thing was that the guy started talking about how he was going to get back together with his ex girlfriend and when I asked him why s...

alliecat · alliecat

Just wanted to say hi...Would someone respond so i can see if anyone was able to read this.... Cathy

queenie105 · queenie105

Hi Family, You may recall my post from the other day about AH being home from rehab and me being terribly unhappy about it. While I try to work my program to the best of my ability, I do know that attitude, and how I react to things plays an important role in my recovery. Could it be that he's lied to me so muc...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

It is odd that after all I have been through in the past week that I am back in a place where I have been ohhh so many times before. I last spoke to my AH at 5:17 yesterday and have not heard from at all since then. It is now 9:40 a.m.. My old ways are so wanting to come back, call him just to see if he answers. Go over...

Jen57 · Jen57

Hi - I'm brand new here and new to Al Anon, too. My husband is a constant complainer: his job, little things that happen, our house, how he feels, etc. I would wager that at least 50% of his comments throughout the day are negative. He whines and whines and does little or nothing to take care of his problems...

Tracy · Tracy

Just been to a f2f wow the topic was choices within my share I explained I find it very easy to see what choices should make to improve their lives however my choices tend to be better for other not me. lately I have been maker better choices because I am worried about the impact on my kids. Also I realise I...

txlexi2 · txlexi2

I have been unable to access the chatroom at all today. Is anyone else having trouble or is it just my comp acting up?

MotherTeresa · MotherTeresa

Hi, My husband is 30 years sober , son alcoholic...sometimes drug use. Son has a history of depresssion, and escalating alcohol use, has lived away, then home for a couple of years. He left home abruptly 2 weeks ago to get work in a new city. Detaching...with love is my aim. I have been back to Alanon aft...

Karen52 · Karen52

This is my first time in a forum of this type. We recently had a HUGE situation with my partner that has brought all of the crap from the past into the forefront. I will be the first to admit that I am codependant. I am the eldest daughter of an alcoholic mother - with two younger siblings. My second (decease...

afmom03 · afmom03

OH BOY! This isn't good! My Ex-AH's birthday is coming up soon and I am soooooooooo tempted to buy him a card! We have been apart for over a year and a half now and divorced for 3 months and I still find my self itchin' to step out of my boundaries and see if he'll respond back by sending him a card or calling him...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Position Desired Place in heaven hearing God (my HP) say, "Job well done". Objective Maintain sanity while enjoying the precious gifts I've been given and continue to receive. Education Alanon Tools including: 12 Steps, Meetings, Traditions, Concepts, Slogans, Prayer and...

Tracy · Tracy

My Ab rang me last night he was very angrey he had had a huge fight with his sister who is a drug user uncle who is an A he got physical with uncle and everyone left the house. I tried to calm him. He tried every trick in the book to manipulate me to rescue him again. I kept passing his probs back to him. He was...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Good morning all! Today is a great day! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and I woke up with a smile on my face. When I woke up this morning, realized so many things. I am happier today than I have been in a very long time. Why?....because I dont have to deal with anyone elses problems! I dont ha...

littleflower · littleflower

Hello everyone, i just signed up for this site this morning, and been reading alot on herer. I'm just at the point where i dont know what to do anymore. First of all, my hubby has started back to drinking the last couple of weeks after being sober for 7 years. And everything with his life is a mess to hear him...

Tracy · Tracy

My AB rand earlier and asked if I would come and pick him up. I asked him if he had been drinking said he had only had two. I told him I was not coming to get him. We are supposed to be having a break and he is supposed to be sorting out his life so we can have a normal relationship. I have been attending F2f mee...

Codependent · Codependent

Prior to my A going to jail he was seeing another girl- who I, of course, thought was inappropriate- an unneccesary judgement on my part I know. While he was incarcerated we talked about her- she apparently sent lots of letters, etc. He told me it wasn't anything serious, but that he genuinely liked h...

Diva · Diva

Lesson learned here? None! Judge dismissed the case without hearing a word of testimony. Big smile on A's face upon returning home. *sigh* Diva

Codependent · Codependent

I keep thinking that when he was incarcerated we got along so well. I know that sounds stupid, but we had great phone converstations, visits, etc. When he got out he was sweet and eager to be with me. I tried to go with this, but also said stuff like "maybe we can't get along" "we argue a...

SammyQ · SammyQ

I wrote here last week asking for advice on how to stop hating the alcoholic in my life. I was gearing up to go to an Al-Anon meeting or get some counselling, but now I'm saying to with it. I saw some things my mother wrote for her therapy group, and I am SAVAGE. There was a lot on there that made me mad, but o...

maresie · maresie

karilyn Please update all of us on your precious Pipers. I am keeping those prayers and warm love and hugs coming to you. My little girl Ruby (who has lost her collar somewhere in her exploits is also really giving her paws up for Pipers. Lots of love and hugs to you. The weekend is almost upon us! Ma...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), Piper is home. The vet called yesterday morning. Her fever had gone down. They still don't know what caused it. They wanted her to stay there until late afternoon so she could finish her IV. I spent some time with her before I went to work. My friend (her benefactress) picked he...

greta · greta

I just had a 2 day visit from my kids, it was insightful. For those who have followed my alanon journey, my daughter it seems has finally recovered not only physically, but mentally from her car accident she is doing so great. HP truely answers our prayers. All three of us had a good talk about the wr...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, As some of you know, my A-step mother has been diagnosed with lung cancer which has now spread to her brain. I had not been on speaking terms with her but had offered to bring her daughters by car from the airport etc. Today my father asked me to call to the house and Barbara and I talked cordially a...

round3 · round3

I thought this past weekend would be nice. And from first glance, it was. My birthday was Saturday, and several of my friends got together and threw a party for me at a restaurant that night. Kind of a birthday/"last hurrah" before my SABF moves in with me in two weeks. The party was a lot o...

abbyal · abbyal

1- AN INCREASED TENDENCY TO LET THINGS HAPPEN RATHER THAN MAKE THEM HAPPEN . 2-FREQUENT ATTACKS OF SMILING. 3- FEELINGS OF BEING CONNECTED WITH OTHERS AND NATURE 4-FREQUENT OVERWHELMING EPISODES OF APPRECIATION 5-A TENDENCEY TO THINK AND ACT SPONTANEOUSLY RATHER THAN FROM FEARS BASED ON PAST EXP...

liljeannie · liljeannie

As I start this post, my stomach is churning and my hands are shaking. Today I am going to my abf's grandfathers b-day lunch. I am very fearful of what may happen and how I will handle it. In a past post, I explained about a family occasion that I was not invited to. My A's parents are divorced, so only on...

abbyal · abbyal

Ever wonder *why our prayers don't seem to heard * BROKEN TOYS As children bring thier broken toys with tears for us to mend I brought my brocken dreams to God because he was my friend But instead of leaving HIM in peace to work alone I hung around and tried to help with ways that were my own At last I snatc...

Diva · Diva

He must go and answer a charge of public intoxication. He is on his own. He has all of his evidence to his innocence, and I actually believe he will beat the charge. Asked whether he wanted a jury, he opted to let the judge decide. He has a silver tongue, he is charming beyond description, and he speaks...

Tracy · Tracy

I am so angery with myself my Ab is still in his mums but we have chatted on the phone again he has tried to start cycle but I carnt take anymore I need to see action. Why am I doing this why dont I just get rid of him. I saw him today on my way home from work he was out side the dole he is on state benefits he was goin...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	11 days and counting (Preview) Its been 11 days since I spoke with my ex A b/f, now "friend from a distance". As you may recall, I took the advice from members on this board to detatch for a weekend and do things for me. Well, I have to admit this 'doing things for me' is GREAT. These past 11 days have been relaxing, fun, stre...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	2	406	Aug 18, 2008 by maresie
	Staying focused on me and my goals (Preview) Boy howdy do I get a curve ball thrown into the works at times. This is the direct result of my youngest, who, when not binge drinking (which she doesn't come home when she's doing that as she knows my boundaries), insists on hooking back up with ex BFs that apparently she has memory loss of why they were an...	Tenderheartsks	4	523	Aug 18, 2008 by maresie
	Back to step one AGAIN...and feeling so very very low... (Preview) ...Hello family...this is just a quickie as I am not in a position to talk with you as I would really like to at this moment in time. The situation with my daughter and her financee and here children has gone from bad to worse and, all the good intentions I had to give her and her boyfriend time out to get to kn...	Suzannah	4	519	Aug 18, 2008 by maresie
	Back to Reality (Preview) I have been spending weekends at the beach with friends trying to escape from the rollercoaster life I live with my AH. How more relaxed can you get then looking out at the ocean, listening to the waves, how can you not smile? When I ran my 4 miles in the morning yesterday, I couldn't get rid of my stinkin th...	suzip	0	324	Aug 18, 2008 by suzip
	Figuring things out! (Preview) Well, I made it to work today. Almost called in sick but didn't. That, I can say, is a big progress for myself. I did not sleep one ounce last night and frankly have been down lately, but I pulled myself up and here I am. I spent the weekend on my first snorkling trip ever with my Abfsober. I was ve...	mslouise	1	376	Aug 18, 2008 by suzip
	new topic (Preview) hello folks..its been a while i'm sitting here in a sort of amazed confusion as my a..who went out last night and got lit...who threatened suicide last week...is now asking me if i think she would make a good mother and if we could try and have a baby together i feel like she is out of here mind at this point y...	charlescharles	5	935	Aug 18, 2008 by maresie
	Practicing detaching (Preview) Dear All, The update on my step mother's illness is that all wish to keep her at home as long as possible. I do the washing and collecting at airports. We are very cordial with one another and though I feel pain at the situation, I practise detaching. I went to the seaside yesterday for a break which was gre...	maire rua	2	516	Aug 18, 2008 by maresie
	Where do i go from here???? (Preview) Ok.. Its been a VERY looooooooooong time since i have done this.. I have missed coming to chat and to the posting boards.. however.. back to topic.. I have been feeling really lost lately.. have been having alot of feelings up all at once.. yesterday i journaled one page about it.. saying how i was not o...	teddybearpoet	5	474	Aug 18, 2008 by Maria123
	I have an job interview (Preview) Just checked my e-mail today after being out of town for several days. I had given up on this job because it is going on 4 weeks since I turned my application in. This job reopened so this is the second time around. So I have an interview next Friday. Woohoo! I haven't interviewed in years. I did buy a new out...	nmike	12	645	Aug 18, 2008 by maire rua
	I'm Back! (Preview) Hi Everyone! I used to be a member of this board years back and I just wanted to say hello to everyone! A little bit about me.... I was raised with an alcoholic mother. I became an alcoholic myself at age 18. I have been battling addiction/sobriety since age 27 when I vowed to quit. I have relapsed sinc...	marchgrl	2	393	Aug 17, 2008 by cookie1971
	Confrontation (Preview) Yes, I am still sitting here obsessing. I know I have to stop this. I think he can feel it and why I care what he thinks we all know. I want to be different, but I think I want to be different because I think this will earn a positive reaction from him. You know what I mean? I want to stop calling him, but par...	Codependent	2	509	Aug 17, 2008 by Tracy
	a little sad today (Preview) This morning my youger son and dil left for Japan to live for the next 3 years. They will come back for a visit Christmas 2009. My son is in the Navy and he met his wife in Japan when he was stationed there before. He will be on sea duty for this time. I am happy that she can be with her family while he is out to sea....	Gailey	4	440	Aug 17, 2008 by Karilynn
	Frustration with blame-shifting son (Preview) Okay, am obsessing, needing to vent, phew, working on not enabling. So when my son calls back about,losing wallet, car towed and, no ID at present to retrieve it. We(husband and me) had agreed...after many situations like this, we would not just send money etc. Anyhow, after husband spoke somewh...	MotherTeresa	2	474	Aug 17, 2008 by joyoma
	New to this, not sure how this work, wondering if anyone has experienced this before? (Preview) My husband and I have been married for 6 years, together 7 and have two beautiful children together. We are soulmates.....when we met, we just knew,. Well, ong story short, we both have had crappy childhoods and we vowed to never allow that with ours.....He was using Vicodin about 5.5 years ago and wen...	codependent_who_knew	12	524	Aug 17, 2008 by liljeannie
	Tears and Swears (Preview) Maybe this post should have been titled, two steps forward, one step back....Anyway, I went to work this morning, and if any of you read my post last night, you know I went there alone. No idea when abf came home from his walk, dont really care, I slept. Called him on my way home from work, he was happy, in...	liljeannie	1	392	Aug 16, 2008 by ddub
	Just when you think.... (Preview) Just when you think things are gonna blow up, he apologizes Just when you think you are gonna go stir crazy, he suggests a walk Just when you think you are getting old, he brings out the child in you Just when you think its gonna be a lousy day, he makes you smile... Funny, this was not my hp, it was my abf. If...	liljeannie	3	434	Aug 16, 2008 by Sincerely
	mom of teen in recovery (Preview) Hi i am new here, but not new to al-anon. I have a 14 year old in recovery. I am proud of him but it is a hard road. He said his biggist problem is boredom. I have to work and so he has been alone a lot especially this week. He relapsed last night after 29 days. I am so disappointed and I am jealous of other moms who...	mcca9014	3	491	Aug 16, 2008 by mcca9014
	the beginning of the end (Preview) As I gain emotional independece from my A, my financial situation is sooo completely dependent upon him. I hate this. I hate having to bite my tongue so that this doesnt get thrown in my face. Today I went to lunch with two of my sons, who are grown and live with their dad, early 20's, a friend, and her son...	liljeannie	3	570	Aug 16, 2008 by maresie
	in a bad place (Preview) its been a while since I've posted.... and I find myself totally stressed out, irritable and trying to force solutions... I was doing so well, so what happened? In a very stressful job with a lot of intensity - lots of politics - it gets to be too mcuh for me. Lots of folks work non-stop and on the weekends...	twinkie	2	465	Aug 16, 2008 by maresie
	Piper the Prodigious, Persistent, Pouncing Puma! (Preview) ((((((Family)))), Thanks for all your love and prayers for Pipers and I. Piper the Pouncing Puma is doing much better. She swatted my cheek yesterday morning in order to get me up! I let her outside yesterday. I know the vet said not to, but it greatly improved her mood. I take her back on Monday for a...	Karilynn	15	1369	Aug 16, 2008 by maresie
	I Can Detach W/ No Problem...My Issue Is This.... (Preview) Hi this is my first time posting. I have a sister that is 5 years younger than me with an 8-year-old daughter. My sister is an alcoholic and meth addict. She has been going through this for almost 10 years but just recently came out in the open and sought treatment last year....sad thing is she is on...	saponilady	5	714	Aug 16, 2008 by maresie
	the love, the relationship: all of it, lies (Preview) my A boyfriend has had problems and i've posted about them here. always, he's apologized or made some sort of amend. always, he's said "i love you and i want to be with you forever." i know that may be a cliche, but i'm 42 and very ill and disabled, i live in housing, i'm on the dole completely - i a...	sadako	3	685	Aug 16, 2008 by sadako
	The Glue That Holds It Together...Me (Preview) The Glue That Holds It Together! It makes me sick!!! I am tired of being the glue! My A had a court date today which stemed from an arguement with the neighbors. He left his cash at home and asked me to bring it to him so that he could bond out. I was at work. I didn't get in an uproar, but it did make me nerv...	Sincerely	6	501	Aug 16, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Great Progress!!!! (Preview) Hi everyone! It's been over 2 years since I've been on this forum, but I just got another email reminding me about it and I decided to log on. Here's a quick recap as to why I started coming on here in the first place. Alcoholism runs in my family....the one that hits home the most is my father. My father...	DaddysLilGirl	1	567	Aug 16, 2008 by CJ
	getting healthy for me (Preview) I started running Memorial Day weekend and havent looked back. When people used to tell me there is a runners high I used to say huh?? Now I know what they mean. My life with my Ah keeps me on a rollercoaster of emotions days are up and then then they come crashing down, but the only thing I have is control ove...	suzip	6	513	Aug 16, 2008 by Jean4444
	A spiritual Awakening while cleaning??????? (Preview) Hi all, I wrote in my previous post today about being upset with my addict husband and waiting for him to come home after being gone all night. Well I did what I normally do when I am so angry I can't put two thoughts together, I cleaned house. I figure it is a great way to release all that negative energy and h...	Mandy123	8	647	Aug 16, 2008 by Peggy7
	My example (Preview) We had a "situation" last night, our oldest son and his fiance' were in a terrible fight. They live close enough that he came to our home just moments before we headed off to bed. The husband and I "listened" step one in service. We did not tell him what to do. We did make a few &q...	Peggy7	4	568	Aug 15, 2008 by Dale
	one day at a time (Preview) Isn't this the best way to look at life in general? Trying to live thru this day only, not tackle all my problems at once...sometimes it is hard to do, not to look ahead at what is to come. It gets overwhelming to wonder about the future, what if this or that, lets just live for today. -- Edited by suzip at 18...	suzip	3	435	Aug 15, 2008 by Jean4444
	Concerns about children in a closed meeting (Preview) Hello! Not sure if this is the right place to seek some suggestions on this topic or not, but I will give it a try. Over the past little while in our closed meetings a few members are bringing their children to the meetings. The children are 0-9 years of age. Now, I know this is a family disease and noone shou...	albertarose	14	1358	Aug 15, 2008 by Jim C.
	Catch 22 and advise needed on son (Preview) If you have read my last post I have been down lately. Very stressed, family issues, abfsober lost job, etc. So for the last couple of days, I have not been smiling too much. My bf keeps asking me what is wrong, what has changed? Frankly, now-a-days, I am trying to work out some of my own stuff by my...	mslouise	8	529	Aug 15, 2008 by mcca9014
	Tell me the Truth (Preview) Does the maddness ever end? Besides being married to an A, my brother is a meth addict. Recently he ask me to write a letter to a judge saying he's been attending NA, this would keep him from going to jail. Why can't he write his own letter? I don't get it, why wouldn't he just attend NA now he wants to com...	Alone	16	681	Aug 15, 2008 by CJ
	My disease (Preview) Last night I had this conversation on the phone with a guy I chatted with on the internet and again I think I'm doomed to be alone until I leave this place... BUT The interesting thing was that the guy started talking about how he was going to get back together with his ex girlfriend and when I asked him why s...	carolinagirl	9	579	Aug 15, 2008 by maresie
	Hello (Preview) Just wanted to say hi...Would someone respond so i can see if anyone was able to read this.... Cathy	alliecat	2	341	Aug 15, 2008 by canadianguy
	Anyone have experience w/A getting out of rehab, how to cope? (Preview) Hi Family, You may recall my post from the other day about AH being home from rehab and me being terribly unhappy about it. While I try to work my program to the best of my ability, I do know that attitude, and how I react to things plays an important role in my recovery. Could it be that he's lied to me so muc...	queenie105	11	897	Aug 15, 2008 by mokoehn
	As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil (Preview) It is odd that after all I have been through in the past week that I am back in a place where I have been ohhh so many times before. I last spoke to my AH at 5:17 yesterday and have not heard from at all since then. It is now 9:40 a.m.. My old ways are so wanting to come back, call him just to see if he answers. Go over...	wildthang86	6	704	Aug 15, 2008 by mokoehn
	Unhooking from complaining? (Preview) Hi - I'm brand new here and new to Al Anon, too. My husband is a constant complainer: his job, little things that happen, our house, how he feels, etc. I would wager that at least 50% of his comments throughout the day are negative. He whines and whines and does little or nothing to take care of his problems...	Jen57	11	1063	Aug 15, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	choices (Preview) Just been to a f2f wow the topic was choices within my share I explained I find it very easy to see what choices should make to improve their lives however my choices tend to be better for other not me. lately I have been maker better choices because I am worried about the impact on my kids. Also I realise I...	Tracy	5	544	Aug 15, 2008 by Jean4444
	chatroom unavailable? (Preview) I have been unable to access the chatroom at all today. Is anyone else having trouble or is it just my comp acting up?	txlexi2	2	279	Aug 14, 2008 by wp
	Sad and concerned, first post (Preview) Hi, My husband is 30 years sober , son alcoholic...sometimes drug use. Son has a history of depresssion, and escalating alcohol use, has lived away, then home for a couple of years. He left home abruptly 2 weeks ago to get work in a new city. Detaching...with love is my aim. I have been back to Alanon aft...	MotherTeresa	6	703	Aug 14, 2008 by lin0606
	new here (Preview) This is my first time in a forum of this type. We recently had a HUGE situation with my partner that has brought all of the crap from the past into the forefront. I will be the first to admit that I am codependant. I am the eldest daughter of an alcoholic mother - with two younger siblings. My second (decease...	Karen52	7	462	Aug 14, 2008 by lin0606
	Somebody Slap My hands! (Preview) OH BOY! This isn't good! My Ex-AH's birthday is coming up soon and I am soooooooooo tempted to buy him a card! We have been apart for over a year and a half now and divorced for 3 months and I still find my self itchin' to step out of my boundaries and see if he'll respond back by sending him a card or calling him...	afmom03	5	550	Aug 14, 2008 by Sincerely
	My Resume' (Preview) Position Desired Place in heaven hearing God (my HP) say, "Job well done". Objective Maintain sanity while enjoying the precious gifts I've been given and continue to receive. Education Alanon Tools including: 12 Steps, Meetings, Traditions, Concepts, Slogans, Prayer and...	Peggy7	6	606	Aug 14, 2008 by tea2
	drama (Preview) My Ab rang me last night he was very angrey he had had a huge fight with his sister who is a drug user uncle who is an A he got physical with uncle and everyone left the house. I tried to calm him. He tried every trick in the book to manipulate me to rescue him again. I kept passing his probs back to him. He was...	Tracy	1	438	Aug 14, 2008 by rtexas
	Day by Day (Preview) Good morning all! Today is a great day! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and I woke up with a smile on my face. When I woke up this morning, realized so many things. I am happier today than I have been in a very long time. Why?....because I dont have to deal with anyone elses problems! I dont ha...	liljeannie	2	460	Aug 14, 2008 by Tracy
	Newie, here!!!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) Hello everyone, i just signed up for this site this morning, and been reading alot on herer. I'm just at the point where i dont know what to do anymore. First of all, my hubby has started back to drinking the last couple of weeks after being sober for 7 years. And everything with his life is a mess to hear him...	littleflower	4	499	Aug 14, 2008 by Karen52
	keeping strong (Preview) My AB rand earlier and asked if I would come and pick him up. I asked him if he had been drinking said he had only had two. I told him I was not coming to get him. We are supposed to be having a break and he is supposed to be sorting out his life so we can have a normal relationship. I have been attending F2f mee...	Tracy	2	576	Aug 14, 2008 by Jerry F
	The other woman (Preview) Prior to my A going to jail he was seeing another girl- who I, of course, thought was inappropriate- an unneccesary judgement on my part I know. While he was incarcerated we talked about her- she apparently sent lots of letters, etc. He told me it wasn't anything serious, but that he genuinely liked h...	Codependent	4	558	Aug 14, 2008 by CJ
	Case Dismissed!!!! (Preview) Lesson learned here? None! Judge dismissed the case without hearing a word of testimony. Big smile on A's face upon returning home. sigh Diva	Diva	11	671	Aug 13, 2008 by Diva
	Did my insecurity and anxiety push him away? (Preview) I keep thinking that when he was incarcerated we got along so well. I know that sounds stupid, but we had great phone converstations, visits, etc. When he got out he was sweet and eager to be with me. I tried to go with this, but also said stuff like "maybe we can't get along" "we argue a...	Codependent	4	1697	Aug 13, 2008 by Sincerely
	I haven't even started and I give up already (Preview) I wrote here last week asking for advice on how to stop hating the alcoholic in my life. I was gearing up to go to an Al-Anon meeting or get some counselling, but now I'm saying to with it. I saw some things my mother wrote for her therapy group, and I am SAVAGE. There was a lot on there that made me mad, but o...	SammyQ	5	544	Aug 13, 2008 by CJ
	Karilyn please update us (Preview) karilyn Please update all of us on your precious Pipers. I am keeping those prayers and warm love and hugs coming to you. My little girl Ruby (who has lost her collar somewhere in her exploits is also really giving her paws up for Pipers. Lots of love and hugs to you. The weekend is almost upon us! Ma...	maresie	0	332	Aug 13, 2008 by maresie
	Piper update. (Preview) (((((Family)))), Piper is home. The vet called yesterday morning. Her fever had gone down. They still don't know what caused it. They wanted her to stay there until late afternoon so she could finish her IV. I spent some time with her before I went to work. My friend (her benefactress) picked he...	Karilynn	12	690	Aug 13, 2008 by Lexie
	Just some thoughts (Preview) I just had a 2 day visit from my kids, it was insightful. For those who have followed my alanon journey, my daughter it seems has finally recovered not only physically, but mentally from her car accident she is doing so great. HP truely answers our prayers. All three of us had a good talk about the wr...	greta	2	446	Aug 13, 2008 by tiredtonite
	Making peace with A's (Preview) Dear All, As some of you know, my A-step mother has been diagnosed with lung cancer which has now spread to her brain. I had not been on speaking terms with her but had offered to bring her daughters by car from the airport etc. Today my father asked me to call to the house and Barbara and I talked cordially a...	maire rua	5	488	Aug 13, 2008 by Jean4444
	Emotional Rollercoaster (Preview) I thought this past weekend would be nice. And from first glance, it was. My birthday was Saturday, and several of my friends got together and threw a party for me at a restaurant that night. Kind of a birthday/"last hurrah" before my SABF moves in with me in two weeks. The party was a lot o...	round3	5	521	Aug 13, 2008 by round3
	12 signs of a Spiritual Awakening (Preview) 1- AN INCREASED TENDENCY TO LET THINGS HAPPEN RATHER THAN MAKE THEM HAPPEN . 2-FREQUENT ATTACKS OF SMILING. 3- FEELINGS OF BEING CONNECTED WITH OTHERS AND NATURE 4-FREQUENT OVERWHELMING EPISODES OF APPRECIATION 5-A TENDENCEY TO THINK AND ACT SPONTANEOUSLY RATHER THAN FROM FEARS BASED ON PAST EXP...	abbyal	3	1378	Aug 12, 2008 by Jean4444
	Rain or shine (Preview) As I start this post, my stomach is churning and my hands are shaking. Today I am going to my abf's grandfathers b-day lunch. I am very fearful of what may happen and how I will handle it. In a past post, I explained about a family occasion that I was not invited to. My A's parents are divorced, so only on...	liljeannie	3	406	Aug 12, 2008 by Maria123
	A PRAYER (Preview) Ever wonder why our prayers don't seem to heard BROKEN TOYS As children bring thier broken toys with tears for us to mend I brought my brocken dreams to God because he was my friend But instead of leaving HIM in peace to work alone I hung around and tried to help with ways that were my own At last I snatc...	abbyal	2	421	Aug 12, 2008 by Maria123
	Court time: 2:00 p.m. this afternoon. (Preview) He must go and answer a charge of public intoxication. He is on his own. He has all of his evidence to his innocence, and I actually believe he will beat the charge. Asked whether he wanted a jury, he opted to let the judge decide. He has a silver tongue, he is charming beyond description, and he speaks...	Diva	7	466	Aug 12, 2008 by maire rua
	self esteem (Preview) I am so angery with myself my Ab is still in his mums but we have chatted on the phone again he has tried to start cycle but I carnt take anymore I need to see action. Why am I doing this why dont I just get rid of him. I saw him today on my way home from work he was out side the dole he is on state benefits he was goin...	Tracy	3	540	Aug 12, 2008 by maire rua
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.