The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
We had a "situation" last night, our oldest son and his fiance' were in a terrible fight. They live close enough that he came to our home just moments before we headed off to bed. The husband and I "listened" step one in service. We did not tell him what to do. We did make a few "suggestions" (when asked) step two in service. Our son asked if I would go over and talk to his fiance. My mind swirled in search of my alanon tools and I gently "declined". I refused to allow myself to get sucked into "their" issues/drama. In the past (when asked what she could do) I offered the suggestion that she attend Alanon meetings or at least be willing to read the literature. She has elected to believe his disease does not affect her. Once our son talked things out with us he seemed to have collected his thoughts. I commented on his smart choices for having walked away from what could have been a very bad situation, and for giving himself time to calm down. Pointed out that he did not force issues. I did this without blaming or engaging. I gave him food for thought, then I gave it back to him. He walked back home, they talked, he called to say he was much calmer and thank you.
Peggy read some of you post, like the awakening. These are tough things to do. Not get involved, not fix, not worry, but just to believe all is ok. Your story the awakening, hit me where I want to be. I was at work, frustrated, and wanting to think all was wrong. I was able to calm myself, and walk through it. I think some times, when a feeling or situation presents itself to us we need to just hold on, and get to the other side. Then the awakening comes and we know it will be ok, and god love us. Thank you dear for sharing.....Dale
