Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Katy · Katy

Oh I been having all of that happen to me of late, I have this great gift of a vivid imagination ya wouldn't belive, most of my past imaginnings have focussed on running away, I have to take some credit though because I have been truly blessed with having some very fascinating outcomes of these imaginni...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

That even though I am still get stuck in the muck, I have come along way since this program. I used to cry and cry, by myself, in the dark, about how much everything sucked and how there wasn't a thing I could do about it. Then I would get mad at myself for being so futile. Or I would get so angry I wanted to scre...

stormie · stormie

I got a much-needed reminder today that I thought might uplift others on this board and/or give you nudge in a more postive direction. Here's part of it: Greatest Mistake - Giving Up (there are exception to this law, I think) Greatest Crippler - Fear Greatest handicap - Ego Greatest Victory - Victory...

QuVat · QuVat

Hello all, I'm new here but I've been lurking for several months now. Long story short my AW has been on again off again sober for the last year. I've managed to keep some semblance of detachment for the last several months thanks to these forums and my own self reflection. Anyway her problems came to...

getoverit · getoverit

Dare to share.. namaste~ Solgans: Just For Today...Easy Does It...Keep It Simple Sweetie...How Important Is It?...First Things First...One Day At A Time...Let Go And Let God...But For The Grace Of God...Think!...Listen And Learn...Let It Begin With Me...Together We Can Make It...Be Honest.....

olg1213 · olg1213

I have come to the point that the fight is out of me. I mourn my will to fight. Giving up has made me sad but has also put out my anger. My AH comes home from work drunk almost everyday. At least he is not being verbally abusive right now. He is in total denial and even if he went and got help I don't thin...

debilyn · debilyn

When suffering a tooth ache from a dry socket, do NOT put a drop or two of Clove oil in it. It will only stop hurting becuz you have burned the H out of your lips and tongue so much worse than the tooth pain.... Just a simple word of my experience....lol hugs,debilyn

hopeful123 · hopeful123

I hate to start my post with a topic like that, but it's the truth. I'm at work and I'm simply miserable today. I am angry at my ex ABF for his behaviors and for leaving me here to live with this crap. He was my second great love--the one that promised me a future and a great life. My first one died on 9/11--and t...

debilyn · debilyn

If I drew a circle and made lines out from it expressing feelings it would look like a sunshine gone crazy. All the surgeries are finished,knee....could not do the dead persons cartlidge plug ick as the missing cartlidge the llama destroyed is too much. you will need a knee replacement. I say,"w...

maresie · maresie

As you all know I am more than one year out from leaving the A. I am in a big mess financially and one of the only ways I can get out of it is to take on another job which is huge for me. I am already tired and feel resourceless. I am making progress in lots of ways. I say no now to lots of things. No to being invo...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

I posted earlier today and I'm back after a long day of fighting the urge to contact the ex ABF. I have my f2f meeting tomorrow night, thank God, and I am hopeful that it will get me beyond this stage of wanting to contact him. I am feeling angry and also nostalgic about the relationship. I am also feeling af...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, At the moment I am very resentful, a person who I thought was a good friend has let me down. Of course she is with an alcoholic and in denial and I was foolish when asked to tell her what I thought, she makes sure that he contacts her every night when she's working away so she knows what time he gets i...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Well on one of my husbands drinking binges he asked for my wedding ring back and well like a dummy I gave it to him because I didnt want to start world war 3 with an argument, so I just gave it to him. Well he either lost it or threw it away. and now a week and a half later I keep telling him if he might possiably kno...

joyoma · joyoma

Life.....barely livable around our home the past week. Much chaos and messiness with a-son, his EX, our health issues, our marital problems from said messes. Please remember our family this week. We have crucial medical appointments. Mine, especially, could impact the future so dramatic...

lonewolfmama · lonewolfmama

Today my A BF's parents bailed him out $15,000 of gambling debt, he talked to his folks all morning and then came to me with a 15-minute wrap-up (just to tell me how wonderful his life is now), then left to run errands all day and is still not home. He's all like, "I'm cured and out of debt and life is gre...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

Hello everyone! I hope you can give me some clarity about how I am feeling. I have been doing pretty well the past week in not feeling the desire to call my ex ABF who has been gone from our house for 8 weeks now. Our last contact was a week and a half ago. He asked if we could go to dinner and I told him I didn't t...

masspedirn · masspedirn

My AsoberBF moved back in a few weeks ago after 3 months of separation from me so we could both work on our recoveries (him AA,me AlAnon). After much thought, discussion and belief in myself and him, I let him move back home and was really specific about what I could deal with and what I couldn't. I don't se...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

One with God is always the majority. Living in harmony with ourselves is essential to living in harmony with others. The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power within us. The trouble with many of us is that in trying times we stop trying. Here are the do's and don'ts from Alcoholism the Family Dise...

kellys_angels · kellys_angels

I am being challanged. I'm recently saparted from my AH and we have two lttle angels who are lost with out Daddy being here. I am trying not to let our children know how scared I am of the unknown. I think the money thing per week has become a problem for both of us. Me and the girls have gone without for so...

charlescharles · charlescharles

long time no posts for me...anyway...hope all is well with everyone...hope things are getting better continuously i am in a funk right now because my family...my life...and the woman i am with are all out of whack...or should i say i am out of wack hating myself...hating others but playing the game an...

olg1213 · olg1213

I woke up in he middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep. My kids and I and AH went to my sister and brother in laws to celebrate his birthday tonight. My AH doesn't ever drink at home or on the week-end, I guess to make me believe that either he's not drinking or that he has it under control. ...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello family, As some of you are aware, I am moving forward in my recovery and continue on my journey every day. Each day I feel a little less stressed out and a little bit stronger. I began reaching out to friends again, friends that I had been too embarassed to face in the past, I have been taking control...

Diva · Diva

I have received several messages and emails essentially saying, "Diva, where are you? You OK?" Had a major computer crash...My next "pc" will be a Mac!!!!! I am fine. A is sober for now, my doggie is well for now, the weather in South Texas is beautiful, and I could not ask for mo...

ddub · ddub

ok, so I am a hard nut to crack. I want to recover and I want it now. 14 mos of al anon and I am surrounded by messages of the same topic. I might just be getting it when a spiritual 2 x 4 hits me hard between the eyes so I am waving a white flag of surrender. This will take me time....... too much time but wort...

stormie · stormie

I have a few questions that I'd appreciate receiving feedback on, especially from those who have a lot of experience in either Al-Anon or AA. 1) Would you consider an A who attends two meetings per week and nothing else in recovery? (The meetings are "discussion type meetings, not step.) 2) O...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Hi all - first let me say that I'm extremely grateful to have found this site and the many wonderful members who have already shared their ES&H with me in the chat room. Here's my drama for today: My 17-year-old son (will be 18 in a few weeks) decided to skip a class the other day. This is the first and o...

Katy · Katy

When I loved myself enough I quit settling for too little. When I loved myself enough I came to know my own goodness. When I loved myself enough I began to know I was at the right place at the right time and I could relax. When I loved myself enough I began to see I didn't have to chase after life. If I am quiet an...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all... there has been a lot of discussion, directly and indirectly, on the board lately regarding us being the "victim" in certain situations... I think we tread a very fine line between "feeling sorry for ourselves" and "accepting facts for what they are"......

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

He had the great proposition for me, the credit guys want to combine all our debt into one small payment which is just a fraction of what our debt payments are now. Would be a good idea... He is very irresponsible financially and consistantly runs up credit. Now he is maxed out on his credit line and prob...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

Hello all! I am pasting a letter that I would like to send to my ex ABF. We've been apart for almost two months now (feels like much longer than that!!!). Anyway, I need some closure to things, and I want to send the following letter to him. Any feedback you can give is much appreciated! Thanks for readi...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have noticed myself feeling slightly bitter and resentful of the fact that I have to spend money that SHOULD go to our kids just to be rid of HIM. I think partially because I feel like I'm already working two jobs just to get by and thinking where's the money gonna come from? Also, I keep wishing for the...

maresie · maresie

I am interested in what people do to nourish themselves. I know as a recovering codependent I can really go out to lunch on not taking care of myself in so many ways. I am pretty poor at the moment, broke actually. Yet there are lots and lots of creative ways I can nourish myself. I go to the library for one...

jimmydad · jimmydad

Hi folks, I need some advice. I put my al-anon wife through the ringer and have been sober for 1 year after a 3 year relapse, the first two of which she never knew I was relapsing consciously, which in hindsight was a horrible betrayal and I apologized profusely over and over. So, for 1 year I really real...

Christy · Christy

mslouise · mslouise

I had another panic attack yesterday. This one was different and filled with anger. I started thinking how unfar it was for my ex to just pick up and leave and go over to his mom's house where his bed is all nicely made up and he has no memories of us whatsoever. Meanwhile I get to stay in the house with all...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Woke up at 3am (as usual). Tried to use the stillness to connect to God, but just couldn't feel it. Then, I hear the breathing next to me. My youngest, almost 4, is such an incredibly beautiful specimen of a human being. He sleeps with me, has since my AH moved out. He's laying there all sprawled out with on...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Family, I cannot believe it, am in shock. My newphew, who had not spoken to me since my mother died four years ago, (neither has his mother - my twin even after I keep writing to them and hoping for a response), rang a couple of hours ago to tell me that my father had died. He had trouble breathing this morn...

NJBoy · NJBoy

I'm sorry. This is kind of long but it's all important backstory... My mother has been a functioning alcoholic for most of my life but it was only until November of last year that her alcoholism has spiraled to being uncontrollable. Where she would once have a few drinks a night, she began drinking from...

barisax · barisax

This is a post I made to the AA forum as a starter... I think it has some relevance here, which I will follow up on but first here is the post from AA in its entirety: ------------------------------ Not long ago, I was at one of my regular meetings. There is a young guy there who has some sobriety, talks a lo...

soconfused · soconfused

I've been thinking about this for sometime and decided to bounce this off you guys...please do not take offense as I am serious w/ the inquirey. Who really has the problem- us or the alcoholic? I sit here being verbally abused after bailing his butt out of trouble again! Helping and holding him thru t...

Guppie · Guppie

Hi there, I'm new to this forum, my incentive for joining being a conversation I've just had with my mum (in her 60s) in which she said she cannot find anyone who understands what she's going through. My dad has been alcohol dependant for about 25 years. For reasons I'll probably never fully understand...

buick23 · buick23

Oddly enough, today I found a book review I did on the book "Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood back in college. This was the same year I got envolved with my A, and that fact really struck me. This is just crazy. I should have known something was wrong. Wierd that I picked a book with this s...

buick23 · buick23

I have this old wallhanging that says: I do my thing, and you do your thing, I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful. by Frederick S. Perls, Real People Press 1969

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I find that things I used to think were cute and sweet... calling/texting all the time, wanting to be with me all the time, etc. have turned into red flags. It's a very fine line between sweet and irritating. In the past I couldn't get enough and thought something was wrong if I didn't hear from him all...

Steel Magnolia · Steel Magnolia

This may be a bit long winded...... My AH has been in 3 alcohol related accidents in the 8 years that we have been together.He spent 7 months in jail last year.We lost our business and i had to work day/night to support myself and daughter.I felt betrayed,bitter and just down right angry.We spoke nearly...

buick23 · buick23

Again, I want to express how thankful I am for this board and all the members, posts, and replies. I can identify with so many of you. In one post about the A's recovery it said that we can't control their recovery just as much as we can't control their drinking. This is so true. I too am doing my best at not ju...

meagain · meagain

Good Morning to All! MY youngest son (33) just called and it ALWAYS is him talking gloom and doom. I am SO working on my own recovery in Alanon-working on stress, anxiety etc. with my adult kids and my 83 yr. old MOm. I have health issues of my own.....but this youngest son always calls and usually he is st...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

My AH returned home about a month and half ago. I knew he was having problems with his blood pressure and getting under control. He was taking meds but they weren't working. We went to a cardiologist September 26th and scheduled a heart catherization to see what was going on with his heart. He had a block...

Fifi · Fifi

I was just reading a response to a prior post, and Canadianguy's mentioning of perspective. He spoke of a friend and her son...with a terrible heart condition...and of their daily bravery and courage. As a mom myself, and a cancer survivor myself....this touches me deeply and makes me remember to ge...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi Al-Anon family! Before I get started on my post - just a quick thanks to all who post and reply here. It gives me great comfort and more than a few ideas about how to handle my recovery. I last posted several weeks ago that I had finally understood that I needed to have a boundary. This was quite the realiz...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Please, just talk to me, say anything you like, I will listen. You are my f2f meeting and I need to hear you talking to each other and me...I am in a bad place and I just need to know you are out there. I know this might sound crazy but crazy is me at this moment in time. Just got back from another trip to the doc'...

grizmom · grizmom

My husband will be released from the DOC tomorrow. He has spent the past 12 months as a ward of the DOC for felony DUI and bail jumping. He was originally sentenced to 6 months of state provided re-hab and he was kicked of one program, sent to another and kicked out of that as well - as a result he had to spen...

maresie · maresie

As I evolve in the program I find myself less and less able to tolerate being around people who don't take care of themselves. One of my recently acquired friends is a man who has a great deal of sobriety (its a lot). Nevertheless he doesn't take care of himself at all. If I point it out to him he gets reall...

MommaMia14 · MommaMia14

Wondering if you all can answer a question? Here's the deal as quick as i can say it: IF someone asked for help with thier alcoholism and then you gave them the info and they didnt choose to do it or call the numbers, or do whatever it was, should others be doing it for them since they asked for help but may...

joyoma · joyoma

Last week completely exhausted me with medical appointments, medical procedures, and caring for my grandbaby part of each day and nearly 12 hours on Friday. So today I am trying to clear my brain and rest my body. I had something very unpleasant happen yesterday. I wasn't feeling well but went out to...

Katy · Katy

Ya see when my AH was actively drinking I had a programme, it didn't work at all but it was the only one I was familiar with, I played it and played it over and over, jeez I would crash times and would still try to restart to no avail, i tried to scan my hard drive for errors and I found loads but I just couldn't...

Becky1 · Becky1

My baby granddaughter, Delilah is scheduled to be christened on Nov. 2. See, I got rid of my AH, and the blessings just keep on coming! I never thought my daughter and her husband would have her christened. He was brought up in a VERY religious household, so therefore, didn't care much for organized r...

ddub · ddub

I can only hope that the trend of deep pain in this program is often a spring board to really great joy. The prequel is so very difficult though. Saturday I had this wonderful dialogue with AH and felt like we were getting somewhere for once. I used all my al anon tools while talking, totally different b...

Becky1 · Becky1

Today, I will take a deep breath as I walk away from my AH for the last time. And I won't look back. I moved out in July, was the hardest thing I've ever done. But once I "let go and let God" you wouldn't believe the blessings that have been heaped on me. Once I quit fighting and struggling with l...

lonewolfmama · lonewolfmama

Please help. I know there are those out there who have been through this and have some story to tell me that will help me make a good decision about what to do. I am 36 weeks pregnant and my ABF has been sober and so wonderful for the past two months with no incident. I put up strict boundaries but in no way ha...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Awareness and the penny dropping! (Preview) Oh I been having all of that happen to me of late, I have this great gift of a vivid imagination ya wouldn't belive, most of my past imaginnings have focussed on running away, I have to take some credit though because I have been truly blessed with having some very fascinating outcomes of these imaginni...	Katy	3	544	Oct 15, 2008 by debilyn
	I just want to say (Preview) That even though I am still get stuck in the muck, I have come along way since this program. I used to cry and cry, by myself, in the dark, about how much everything sucked and how there wasn't a thing I could do about it. Then I would get mad at myself for being so futile. Or I would get so angry I wanted to scre...	RainyJamie	4	589	Oct 15, 2008 by RLC
	A Few Much-Needed Reminders That I Needed Today (Preview) I got a much-needed reminder today that I thought might uplift others on this board and/or give you nudge in a more postive direction. Here's part of it: Greatest Mistake - Giving Up (there are exception to this law, I think) Greatest Crippler - Fear Greatest handicap - Ego Greatest Victory - Victory...	stormie	0	401	Oct 15, 2008 by stormie
	Feeling stuck (Preview) Hello all, I'm new here but I've been lurking for several months now. Long story short my AW has been on again off again sober for the last year. I've managed to keep some semblance of detachment for the last several months thanks to these forums and my own self reflection. Anyway her problems came to...	QuVat	5	628	Oct 15, 2008 by QuVat
	slogans r great for us (Preview) Dare to share.. namaste~ Solgans: Just For Today...Easy Does It...Keep It Simple Sweetie...How Important Is It?...First Things First...One Day At A Time...Let Go And Let God...But For The Grace Of God...Think!...Listen And Learn...Let It Begin With Me...Together We Can Make It...Be Honest.....	getoverit	2	613	Oct 15, 2008 by Jerry F
	Letting Go (Preview) I have come to the point that the fight is out of me. I mourn my will to fight. Giving up has made me sad but has also put out my anger. My AH comes home from work drunk almost everyday. At least he is not being verbally abusive right now. He is in total denial and even if he went and got help I don't thin...	olg1213	2	632	Oct 15, 2008 by kitty
	do not do this (Preview) When suffering a tooth ache from a dry socket, do NOT put a drop or two of Clove oil in it. It will only stop hurting becuz you have burned the H out of your lips and tongue so much worse than the tooth pain.... Just a simple word of my experience....lol hugs,debilyn	debilyn	4	583	Oct 15, 2008 by debilyn
	Just miserable (Preview) I hate to start my post with a topic like that, but it's the truth. I'm at work and I'm simply miserable today. I am angry at my ex ABF for his behaviors and for leaving me here to live with this crap. He was my second great love--the one that promised me a future and a great life. My first one died on 9/11--and t...	hopeful123	9	830	Oct 14, 2008 by CJ
	I am wounded, faithful, hopeful and keep crying....Long stupid (Preview) If I drew a circle and made lines out from it expressing feelings it would look like a sunshine gone crazy. All the surgeries are finished,knee....could not do the dead persons cartlidge plug ick as the missing cartlidge the llama destroyed is too much. you will need a knee replacement. I say,"w...	debilyn	3	704	Oct 14, 2008 by Maria123
	Gratitude (Preview) As you all know I am more than one year out from leaving the A. I am in a big mess financially and one of the only ways I can get out of it is to take on another job which is huge for me. I am already tired and feel resourceless. I am making progress in lots of ways. I say no now to lots of things. No to being invo...	maresie	6	1065	Oct 14, 2008 by Jean4444
	A rough day (Preview) I posted earlier today and I'm back after a long day of fighting the urge to contact the ex ABF. I have my f2f meeting tomorrow night, thank God, and I am hopeful that it will get me beyond this stage of wanting to contact him. I am feeling angry and also nostalgic about the relationship. I am also feeling af...	hopeful123	5	538	Oct 14, 2008 by Fifi
	Feeling a lot of resentment and rage (Preview) Dear All, At the moment I am very resentful, a person who I thought was a good friend has let me down. Of course she is with an alcoholic and in denial and I was foolish when asked to tell her what I thought, she makes sure that he contacts her every night when she's working away so she knows what time he gets i...	maire rua	3	1515	Oct 14, 2008 by Jerry F
	husband threw wedding ring out or it is lost... (Preview) Well on one of my husbands drinking binges he asked for my wedding ring back and well like a dummy I gave it to him because I didnt want to start world war 3 with an argument, so I just gave it to him. Well he either lost it or threw it away. and now a week and a half later I keep telling him if he might possiably kno...	princessloretta	9	3043	Oct 14, 2008 by Becky1
	needing peace (Preview) Life.....barely livable around our home the past week. Much chaos and messiness with a-son, his EX, our health issues, our marital problems from said messes. Please remember our family this week. We have crucial medical appointments. Mine, especially, could impact the future so dramatic...	joyoma	6	602	Oct 13, 2008 by nmike
	Vent...What More Can I Do? (Preview) Today my A BF's parents bailed him out $15,000 of gambling debt, he talked to his folks all morning and then came to me with a 15-minute wrap-up (just to tell me how wonderful his life is now), then left to run errands all day and is still not home. He's all like, "I'm cured and out of debt and life is gre...	lonewolfmama	5	746	Oct 13, 2008 by Loupiness
	Just when I start feeling better, the old feelings of guilt return... (Preview) Hello everyone! I hope you can give me some clarity about how I am feeling. I have been doing pretty well the past week in not feeling the desire to call my ex ABF who has been gone from our house for 8 weeks now. Our last contact was a week and a half ago. He asked if we could go to dinner and I told him I didn't t...	hopeful123	6	557	Oct 13, 2008 by nmike
	why do I feel so terrible about sticking to my boundries (a long vent) (Preview) My AsoberBF moved back in a few weeks ago after 3 months of separation from me so we could both work on our recoveries (him AA,me AlAnon). After much thought, discussion and belief in myself and him, I let him move back home and was really specific about what I could deal with and what I couldn't. I don't se...	masspedirn	9	689	Oct 13, 2008 by Jean4444
	A few quotes & Do's & Don't's (Preview) One with God is always the majority. Living in harmony with ourselves is essential to living in harmony with others. The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power within us. The trouble with many of us is that in trying times we stop trying. Here are the do's and don'ts from Alcoholism the Family Dise...	Hoot Nanny	2	6786	Oct 13, 2008 by maresie
	Being Challanged (Preview) I am being challanged. I'm recently saparted from my AH and we have two lttle angels who are lost with out Daddy being here. I am trying not to let our children know how scared I am of the unknown. I think the money thing per week has become a problem for both of us. Me and the girls have gone without for so...	kellys_angels	5	602	Oct 13, 2008 by maresie
	rambling on (Preview) long time no posts for me...anyway...hope all is well with everyone...hope things are getting better continuously i am in a funk right now because my family...my life...and the woman i am with are all out of whack...or should i say i am out of wack hating myself...hating others but playing the game an...	charlescharles	5	633	Oct 13, 2008 by maresie
	Scattered thoughts (Preview) I woke up in he middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep. My kids and I and AH went to my sister and brother in laws to celebrate his birthday tonight. My AH doesn't ever drink at home or on the week-end, I guess to make me believe that either he's not drinking or that he has it under control. ...	olg1213	4	567	Oct 13, 2008 by maresie
	Disillusioned (Preview) Hello family, As some of you are aware, I am moving forward in my recovery and continue on my journey every day. Each day I feel a little less stressed out and a little bit stronger. I began reaching out to friends again, friends that I had been too embarassed to face in the past, I have been taking control...	liljeannie	2	606	Oct 13, 2008 by maresie
	Didn't know you cared so much. smile (Preview) I have received several messages and emails essentially saying, "Diva, where are you? You OK?" Had a major computer crash...My next "pc" will be a Mac!!!!! I am fine. A is sober for now, my doggie is well for now, the weather in South Texas is beautiful, and I could not ask for mo...	Diva	6	606	Oct 12, 2008 by Jen
	waving white flag (Preview) ok, so I am a hard nut to crack. I want to recover and I want it now. 14 mos of al anon and I am surrounded by messages of the same topic. I might just be getting it when a spiritual 2 x 4 hits me hard between the eyes so I am waving a white flag of surrender. This will take me time....... too much time but wort...	ddub	5	635	Oct 12, 2008 by Jen
	Questions Regarding Recovery in AA (Preview) I have a few questions that I'd appreciate receiving feedback on, especially from those who have a lot of experience in either Al-Anon or AA. 1) Would you consider an A who attends two meetings per week and nothing else in recovery? (The meetings are "discussion type meetings, not step.) 2) O...	stormie	14	698	Oct 11, 2008 by painthorse60
	Suggestions Welcome (Preview) Hi all - first let me say that I'm extremely grateful to have found this site and the many wonderful members who have already shared their ES&H with me in the chat room. Here's my drama for today: My 17-year-old son (will be 18 in a few weeks) decided to skip a class the other day. This is the first and o...	blender_girl	6	531	Oct 11, 2008 by blender_girl
	Quotes that help me! (Preview) When I loved myself enough I quit settling for too little. When I loved myself enough I came to know my own goodness. When I loved myself enough I began to know I was at the right place at the right time and I could relax. When I loved myself enough I began to see I didn't have to chase after life. If I am quiet an...	Katy	3	4163	Oct 10, 2008 by Peggy7
	Victim, Schmictim..... (Preview) Hi all... there has been a lot of discussion, directly and indirectly, on the board lately regarding us being the "victim" in certain situations... I think we tread a very fine line between "feeling sorry for ourselves" and "accepting facts for what they are"......	canadianguy	8	663	Oct 10, 2008 by Jean4444
	He's mad and I'm wondering if I did the right thing (Preview) He had the great proposition for me, the credit guys want to combine all our debt into one small payment which is just a fraction of what our debt payments are now. Would be a good idea... He is very irresponsible financially and consistantly runs up credit. Now he is maxed out on his credit line and prob...	RainyJamie	5	722	Oct 10, 2008 by maresie
	A letter I am thinking of sending...would like feedback! (Preview) Hello all! I am pasting a letter that I would like to send to my ex ABF. We've been apart for almost two months now (feels like much longer than that!!!). Anyway, I need some closure to things, and I want to send the following letter to him. Any feedback you can give is much appreciated! Thanks for readi...	hopeful123	9	680	Oct 10, 2008 by kitty
	Resentment and bitterness creeping back in (Preview) I have noticed myself feeling slightly bitter and resentful of the fact that I have to spend money that SHOULD go to our kids just to be rid of HIM. I think partially because I feel like I'm already working two jobs just to get by and thinking where's the money gonna come from? Also, I keep wishing for the...	carolinagirl	9	654	Oct 10, 2008 by kellys_angels
	replenishing ourselves (Preview) I am interested in what people do to nourish themselves. I know as a recovering codependent I can really go out to lunch on not taking care of myself in so many ways. I am pretty poor at the moment, broke actually. Yet there are lots and lots of creative ways I can nourish myself. I go to the library for one...	maresie	7	618	Oct 10, 2008 by suzip
	Emotional affair with fellow Al-anon-need advice (Preview) Hi folks, I need some advice. I put my al-anon wife through the ringer and have been sober for 1 year after a 3 year relapse, the first two of which she never knew I was relapsing consciously, which in hindsight was a horrible betrayal and I apologized profusely over and over. So, for 1 year I really real...	jimmydad	17	7118	Oct 10, 2008 by jimmydad
	There are no justified resentments (Preview)	Christy	4	821	Oct 10, 2008 by nmike
	Need help with anger please (Preview) I had another panic attack yesterday. This one was different and filled with anger. I started thinking how unfar it was for my ex to just pick up and leave and go over to his mom's house where his bed is all nicely made up and he has no memories of us whatsoever. Meanwhile I get to stay in the house with all...	mslouise	16	745	Oct 10, 2008 by mslouise
	the greater good... (Preview) Woke up at 3am (as usual). Tried to use the stillness to connect to God, but just couldn't feel it. Then, I hear the breathing next to me. My youngest, almost 4, is such an incredibly beautiful specimen of a human being. He sleeps with me, has since my AH moved out. He's laying there all sprawled out with on...	Loupiness	10	707	Oct 9, 2008 by ddub
	I father died two hours ago - in shock (Preview) Family, I cannot believe it, am in shock. My newphew, who had not spoken to me since my mother died four years ago, (neither has his mother - my twin even after I keep writing to them and hoping for a response), rang a couple of hours ago to tell me that my father had died. He had trouble breathing this morn...	Suzannah	17	861	Oct 9, 2008 by glad lee
	The Wrong Approach (Preview) I'm sorry. This is kind of long but it's all important backstory... My mother has been a functioning alcoholic for most of my life but it was only until November of last year that her alcoholism has spiraled to being uncontrollable. Where she would once have a few drinks a night, she began drinking from...	NJBoy	4	713	Oct 9, 2008 by kitty
	Drama! (Preview) This is a post I made to the AA forum as a starter... I think it has some relevance here, which I will follow up on but first here is the post from AA in its entirety: ------------------------------ Not long ago, I was at one of my regular meetings. There is a young guy there who has some sobriety, talks a lo...	barisax	5	733	Oct 9, 2008 by Peggy7
	WHO REALLY HAS THE PROBLEM? (Preview) I've been thinking about this for sometime and decided to bounce this off you guys...please do not take offense as I am serious w/ the inquirey. Who really has the problem- us or the alcoholic? I sit here being verbally abused after bailing his butt out of trouble again! Helping and holding him thru t...	soconfused	12	719	Oct 9, 2008 by soconfused
	Hoping to meet partners of long-term alcoholics to share experiences (Preview) Hi there, I'm new to this forum, my incentive for joining being a conversation I've just had with my mum (in her 60s) in which she said she cannot find anyone who understands what she's going through. My dad has been alcohol dependant for about 25 years. For reasons I'll probably never fully understand...	Guppie	7	898	Oct 9, 2008 by abbyal
	women who love too much (Preview) Oddly enough, today I found a book review I did on the book "Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood back in college. This was the same year I got envolved with my A, and that fact really struck me. This is just crazy. I should have known something was wrong. Wierd that I picked a book with this s...	buick23	3	741	Oct 9, 2008 by maresie
	something I wanted to share (Preview) I have this old wallhanging that says: I do my thing, and you do your thing, I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful. by Frederick S. Perls, Real People Press 1969	buick23	2	411	Oct 8, 2008 by buick23
	Neediness (Preview) I find that things I used to think were cute and sweet... calling/texting all the time, wanting to be with me all the time, etc. have turned into red flags. It's a very fine line between sweet and irritating. In the past I couldn't get enough and thought something was wrong if I didn't hear from him all...	carolinagirl	4	569	Oct 8, 2008 by carolinagirl
	end of my rope... (Preview) This may be a bit long winded...... My AH has been in 3 alcohol related accidents in the 8 years that we have been together.He spent 7 months in jail last year.We lost our business and i had to work day/night to support myself and daughter.I felt betrayed,bitter and just down right angry.We spoke nearly...	Steel Magnolia	3	567	Oct 8, 2008 by Steel Magnolia
	just an update (Preview) Again, I want to express how thankful I am for this board and all the members, posts, and replies. I can identify with so many of you. In one post about the A's recovery it said that we can't control their recovery just as much as we can't control their drinking. This is so true. I too am doing my best at not ju...	buick23	0	421	Oct 8, 2008 by buick23
	Gloom and Doom (Preview) Good Morning to All! MY youngest son (33) just called and it ALWAYS is him talking gloom and doom. I am SO working on my own recovery in Alanon-working on stress, anxiety etc. with my adult kids and my 83 yr. old MOm. I have health issues of my own.....but this youngest son always calls and usually he is st...	meagain	1	402	Oct 8, 2008 by maresie
	AH was in the Cardio Care Unit over the weekend (Preview) My AH returned home about a month and half ago. I knew he was having problems with his blood pressure and getting under control. He was taking meds but they weren't working. We went to a cardiologist September 26th and scheduled a heart catherization to see what was going on with his heart. He had a block...	wildthang86	2	526	Oct 8, 2008 by wildthang86
	perspective (Preview) I was just reading a response to a prior post, and Canadianguy's mentioning of perspective. He spoke of a friend and her son...with a terrible heart condition...and of their daily bravery and courage. As a mom myself, and a cancer survivor myself....this touches me deeply and makes me remember to ge...	Fifi	1	556	Oct 8, 2008 by canadianguy
	The other side of boundaries is scary..... (Preview) Hi Al-Anon family! Before I get started on my post - just a quick thanks to all who post and reply here. It gives me great comfort and more than a few ideas about how to handle my recovery. I last posted several weeks ago that I had finally understood that I needed to have a boundary. This was quite the realiz...	Rocky38	5	615	Oct 8, 2008 by kellys_angels
	Just talk to me... (Preview) Please, just talk to me, say anything you like, I will listen. You are my f2f meeting and I need to hear you talking to each other and me...I am in a bad place and I just need to know you are out there. I know this might sound crazy but crazy is me at this moment in time. Just got back from another trip to the doc'...	Suzannah	9	573	Oct 7, 2008 by lmw
	Anxious (Preview) My husband will be released from the DOC tomorrow. He has spent the past 12 months as a ward of the DOC for felony DUI and bail jumping. He was originally sentenced to 6 months of state provided re-hab and he was kicked of one program, sent to another and kicked out of that as well - as a result he had to spen...	grizmom	1	450	Oct 7, 2008 by maresie
	Taking care of ourselves (Preview) As I evolve in the program I find myself less and less able to tolerate being around people who don't take care of themselves. One of my recently acquired friends is a man who has a great deal of sobriety (its a lot). Nevertheless he doesn't take care of himself at all. If I point it out to him he gets reall...	maresie	7	517	Oct 7, 2008 by meagain
	What do I do? Any feedback? (Preview) Wondering if you all can answer a question? Here's the deal as quick as i can say it: IF someone asked for help with thier alcoholism and then you gave them the info and they didnt choose to do it or call the numbers, or do whatever it was, should others be doing it for them since they asked for help but may...	MommaMia14	7	667	Oct 7, 2008 by canadianguy
	Failures/Successes (Preview) Last week completely exhausted me with medical appointments, medical procedures, and caring for my grandbaby part of each day and nearly 12 hours on Friday. So today I am trying to clear my brain and rest my body. I had something very unpleasant happen yesterday. I wasn't feeling well but went out to...	joyoma	6	428	Oct 7, 2008 by joyoma
	I can liken myself to a computer! (Preview) Ya see when my AH was actively drinking I had a programme, it didn't work at all but it was the only one I was familiar with, I played it and played it over and over, jeez I would crash times and would still try to restart to no avail, i tried to scan my hard drive for errors and I found loads but I just couldn't...	Katy	1	509	Oct 7, 2008 by Peggy7
	Granddaughter is Being Christened! (Preview) My baby granddaughter, Delilah is scheduled to be christened on Nov. 2. See, I got rid of my AH, and the blessings just keep on coming! I never thought my daughter and her husband would have her christened. He was brought up in a VERY religious household, so therefore, didn't care much for organized r...	Becky1	3	502	Oct 6, 2008 by nmike
	joy & pain (Preview) I can only hope that the trend of deep pain in this program is often a spring board to really great joy. The prequel is so very difficult though. Saturday I had this wonderful dialogue with AH and felt like we were getting somewhere for once. I used all my al anon tools while talking, totally different b...	ddub	3	529	Oct 6, 2008 by nmike
	Dissolution Final Today (Preview) Today, I will take a deep breath as I walk away from my AH for the last time. And I won't look back. I moved out in July, was the hardest thing I've ever done. But once I "let go and let God" you wouldn't believe the blessings that have been heaped on me. Once I quit fighting and struggling with l...	Becky1	7	553	Oct 6, 2008 by java
	ABF off the wagon..Me 8 mos. Pregnant...long vent (Preview) Please help. I know there are those out there who have been through this and have some story to tell me that will help me make a good decision about what to do. I am 36 weeks pregnant and my ABF has been sober and so wonderful for the past two months with no incident. I put up strict boundaries but in no way ha...	lonewolfmama	5	629	Oct 6, 2008 by hopeful123
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.