The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am now more than one year out from leaving the A and moving out on my own. I am also over the hurdle of just craving for someone to come along and rescue me. I do most things myself and no longer crave for someone to help me. Some days it is pretty hard and other days I feel like I have been self reliant all my life. I have not of course I used to feel tremendously helpless and longed, just absolutely craved for a relationship.
I have not dated that much lately because I have been pretty task orientated. Obviously I need to really set out some goals and get ready for moving on with another phase of my life. There are numerous obstacles. I used to feel in an absolute panic all the time of how would I do this now I do it and keep on doing it and keep reformulating my goals. I am certainly not where I want to be but then I look at what I have accomplished and know this is a great move forward for me. I no longer fear I will give myself away so easily.
Oh (((((((Marsie))))))))) I see how far you have come in my time as Heartbroken and then as Suzannah. You inspire me with your tenacity and keeping on, and working step by step at changing what you can and facing the things you cannot change and leaving them behind.
You deserve a HUGE gold star for the work you have done that I have seen and I am sure you deserve more than one for the work you had already done before I found you in this family.
Keep going, you are a work in progress. Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Mary if I have shared anyones path thru and with Alanon, it has been you. It is priceless all the life you have shared with us.
omg the biggest spider in the world just walked across my keyboard ! ! ewwww shiver !
I know you found your strength when you were determined to get your fur family back. Some people do not realize how far we will go for them. They mean as much to us as our own human family. It is a different love,but it sure can bring us to a realization we can do any thing when we feel that strongly about something.
Mary as horrible as that rescue was with that A guy, I would do it again to rescue those two potted pigs.
Now I know I could do it alone.
So much admiration that you stuck to your integrity and strong responsibility for those creatures who needed you. You never let anyone, change your mind.
Now I see you doing the same for you. One foot in front of the other. Have you ever read Leo Buscalglia? Hope I spelled it right. I have the one where it is just pages about love, quotes, easy to read. Makes me feel better.
I still find myself wanting to be bossy me and get you to move to a better place. I know all your reasoning and you are right of course. sigh. But I also know your tenacity, and know you someday will go out there and look for a new home for you guys.
I just love ya. Your honesty is so refreshing and beautiful.
Sometimes I, too, hope a man will ride up on his white horse and save me. The healthier voice inside me suspects that if I keep thinking like that, I will probably get what I already had. I believe I gotta change my thinking... afterall, I have a thinking problem.
Best I can tell, Higher Power wants me to rely on Him for ALL things. (I've been shopping for a frog to remind me that I am Fully Relying On God.) Once I get that lesson down, maybe the man will come. Maybe not. Just maybe... I won't want one anymore.
To watch your progress is awe-inspiring and one of the reasons I keep coming back. Thank you for being here.
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
That is slowly coming to me. That I was able to take care of myself all along. Just believed that voice in my head and believed the AHsober as he rescued me (for his sake). Great progress.
I had to sit on my urge to be rescued for a year after leaving the A. I think it was all I thought of. I had one or two men who wanted that and I didn't find it as attractive as I once did. The healthier I get the more I see I really did not know what was "healthy " at all. I have to manifest it before it will come into my life in a form of a relationship. Some one else cant make me healthy!
