The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hey everyone, I feel like Im making steps in the right direction, those of you who know me will know its a step, I had little to no real boundaries until about a week ago when I grew stronger from being here, knowing the A typical behavior of an A and that i'm not alone really made me want to start trying for a better life. The A I live with is also nochturnal, he is up until usually 5am and I stay up super late to try to keep him company, hes one of those drinkers that doesnt want to be alone. Well, One other thing I realized is that I usually indulge into a smoking habit I have, and no not crack or anything, marijuana, because I want to be at some sort of a b uzz level more equal to his, so in a way his drinking is almost catchy, a buzz is a buzz right? and I was doing it only because of the BOOZE hes drinking so therefore it was an effect on me right? Well, I went to bed early last night.. which never happens, and I didnt smoke, and I did not give him any either,, I figure he doesnt need anymore than hes getting with the drinking so why make matters worse... I am done with it, I layed in bed for hours and was proud of my actions and thought, yes!! im finally figuring this out, how can I be an example if im not an example? smoking and overeating, being lazy...no more, as of today im on a diet, im on my way to the grocery store in 20 minutes to get salad stuff and diet soda, im going for a walk tonite and im going to bed early AGAIN. Do you think he'll feel alienated? ah, well I feel like im making a step in the right direction, I know I am. I prayed and prayed, I pray for myself and for will power, I pray he'll want the same for himself but I cant make him want it and Ive really let go of that angry feeling I had even just a week ago I just wanted to smack the xxxx out of him instead of just letting it go for my OWN sake, if he in the end doesnt choose health and life with us ill be a better person for myself for whereever my life is going to take me on my own.
Can you get the book that Canadian guy has on offer. I think Getting them Sober is such a grea great resource when you are first in program. There is really no way to control an A.
When ever I have questions like these, I simply take myself to an Al-Anon meeting. That's one of the best things I can do to help myself. It's important for me to do this. I also have to remind myself that they are the only ones that can get themselves sober. It is not my job. End of story.
to damn bad if he feels alienated , your willing to smoke pot with him just to be equal ? same buzz ? wow well your not the first to do this and won't be the last but I hope seeing it in black and white has forced u to shake your head and realize u need help . Al-Anon will support you u will make new friends who understand how your feeling and walk u thru it and yes those who have done exactly the same t hing u did .. Please find meetings as soon as possible ,bringing u down to his level will only fill you with shame and guilt and who needs that >>> anyway good luck Louise
thats why im not smoking anymore, i realized that wasnt right as a role model, and it wasnt all because of him obviously i had a part in it too. thanks for all the replies.
Thanks, I dont even remember when it switched from being an occasional thing to every night, I guess I thought it was pretty innocent but ive learned its really not, it creates more cravings too, for food and other drugs or alcohol.. going through alanon has helped me clean up my act too, pretty cool, set out to save him and saving us both. :) When I started dieting and exercising he said he wanted to start boxing .. hes already catching on :) :)
