The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My Abf who is not wanting contact from me?? whilst he is in rehab, called last night. It was bad news, he was on a days outing with his rehab and he had an accident, he broke his leg. He was calling me from the hospital, and was just out of surgery. It's a pretty nasty injury and things are going to be tough for him too say the least, lots of issues around treatment etc. The rest of the group had returned to the rehab leaving him in hospital hours away in another city!! on his own. Once I'd got all the history and decided all was being done for him and I'd got over the shock, I did manage to stop myself jumping in the car and driving hundreds of miles to see him. He asked me contact his dad and also to phone him again today This is going to sound really hard of me,but I'm just picking myself up from him cutting me out of his life at present, and dont want to make any wrong moves. I am of course worried sick about him, and I'll admit to phoning him first thing this morning to check on his care and have called a couple of times since. I can feel myself getting all over involved again, it's so difficult to know what to do. I'm feeling overwhelmed again. I was doing a really good job of trying to detach and sort myself out now I'm back to square one. I know he couldnt help having an accident it's just I dont know where I stand.
He is being taken care of by professionals , leave it at that . nothingu can do . I assume he will return to treatment as soon as he is released , a broken leg is not a major problem , incovienent yes but not life threatning . Get the focus back on yourself quick before u do somthing u will regret , he dosent need to be rescued he is a grown man , let it go and continue to get your life in order . Louise
How terrible the A who I was with could do the yo yo of pulling my string any tme he felt like it. He pulled me in really well last summer. Lean and lean hard on Al anon. I would feel quite angry that the A could pull on me like that. Then I would be hooked right in.
Sounds to me like you are hooked back in.
Keep writing, get to meetings, keep sharing.
I eventually got unhooked (that is what I wanted).
Whatever happens don't let go of al anon no matter what he says.
Wow Carol...the power of the enabler story all over again. Aren't we so important? LOL You're doing great and the pulling back and forth shows that you have moved from somewhere out there to more toward the middle. That is progress. I was hit by the part where he wanted you to call his father on a phone he was using that he could do it from. Enable him to be responsible for his own recovery. A respectful "No" or "I won't do that (period)" is a great enabling tool. He'll learn to be proud of his own growth.
"A broken leg is not life threatening" LOL gotta remember how the "poor little alcoholic" see it!!
Keep on keeping on. You are growing and progressing. (((((hugs)))))
