The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After more than two years of being single - still hesitant to do what it takes to get involved in another relationship. I talk to various guys, then when it comes time to meet I only meet the ones I know already that I don't like. If there's a chance I MAY like them, I hmmmm and hawwww until the opportunity passes. I find myself going to a place in my mind where I envision having to answer to someone again and it loses it's luster. I want all the benefits of a relationship and none of the responsibilities. Also, I don't want to get my kids involved and that is a serious barrier because of my social/family isolation and lack of free time. Soooo, I feel stuck in this place of wanting more but beind unable to reach out and grab for something I may actually want.
I know there are two reasons. I am scared to trust and don't want to be hurt again. and ... I'm afraid that I'll lose my independence (funny how that never mattered to me before). I feel so torn inside. I want to be close but I feel like I can't let anyone in without losing myself.
Yeah, me too. I figure it is because I am not ready. I hope than when I am ready, when I am strong enough within myself, a relationship (a good one) will naturally develope. Some nights, like last night, I feel like it really is the end of the world and I am going to be alone forever. I just want someone to share my life with. But that is not to be. Yet.
In good time CG. There is a reason why we are so choosey now. There is a good reason why we are not marrying the first guy we sleep with. There is a GREAT reason why we are fearful of losing our independece that we worked so hard for.
(carolinagirl)I have found that I must learn from my mistakes from the pass, and also the mistakes of others, because I have found I do not have time to make them all myself. Many of my mistakes have been because I tried to force something to happen instead of letting it take its natural course. The old saying is in most cases true, "everything always works out for the best". It is just our patience and the waiting for the problem to take care of itself in its own time that is so hard on us.
i dunno it seems to me that you were pretty good at taking the stress out of the social stuff. I have gone back to the dating thing now and again and all I can say is that I keep it real real low key. If there are any issues, if they are "bossy" whatever I let it go real quick. I don't have that many encounters because my energy is elsewhere right now but I try to take all the pressure off it.
There are people I meet for coffee and keep it like that. I don't pour my life out on it. I think first you have to like them have something in common then take it from there. Why put the horse before the cart.